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It has been nearly 4 months since I quit Lexapro cold turkey. Before that I had been on Zoloft for a few months, and before that I had been on Celexa for about 10 years. Nothing seemed to be working anymore, and I felt like I had been in a coma of sorts for more than a decade. I pulled the plug, and shortly after, all hell broke loose. Though my username might suggest otherwise, I am a 43-year-old woman. I feel I should mention that, though I still have many symptoms, I am currently coping with these at the moment. I am most concerned about the mental/emotional issues currently, but I will list the physical first. My physical symptoms were/are: insomnia for about 3 wks (sleep is better now but far from ideal); numbness in my legs and arms for about 6-7 wks; electricity-like vibrations or tremors all over my body (still have these in varying intensity); tinnitus (on and off for 2 mnths, occasional now); it was very difficult to eat ( I lost about 30lbs in 2.5 mnths); intense head pressure (2.5 mnths, occasional now); pain in my ears (fairly constant still); body twitches for about 3wks; vivid dreams that wake me up several times a night (constant since the initial insomnia lessened); feeling like something was lightly crawling all over my face and the top of my head for almost 3 months; no energy for 2 months (slightly improved now); intense heat particularly in my chest (still happens 3-4 times/wk at night); confusion and difficulty concentrating (has improved quite a bit in the last month); problems with my eyes (blurry, tired) is ongoing; diarrhea (still fairly constant); dizziness (still happens but only occasional now);and I became extremely sensitive to sound; light; smells; taste; other people’s emotions and stress (still dealing with these). I’m sure I’m forgetting things, but typing this has been a bit exhausting. Okay, now for the mental and emotional stuff. I became intensely afraid of the dark for several weeks. Thankfully that passed. I was terrified to be alone, and I am still afraid to be left on my own for too long. I experienced terror like I had never felt before. I learned to sit with it and accept it without giving a narrative to it. At first I felt at its mercy, but in January, I decided to sit with it, feel it physically while not giving it a narrative, and accept it. I kind of spoke to it. I said that I accepted that it was there but that it could feel free to leave at any time. I would ride out those waves in this way. That terror hasn’t visited me in a few weeks. Anxiety has been a constant companion. I talk to it too and treat it like I did the terror. I can settle it down eventually, but I know it’s not done with me yet. I also wake up with panic in the middle of the night. I decided a couple of weeks ago to not entertain any suicidal thoughts anymore. It is not an option, and I will not do it. I have become a bit claustrophobic, and early on, I had to keep running out of rooms or running outside. I’m getting tired, so I think I’ll jump to some of my concerns and questions. Since November, I lost my ability to daydream, and I miss that escape desperately. Will it come back? Will any spark of creativity come back? I find it hard to enjoy things, but I make myself do things to keep me occupied, like crochet. I used to be obsessed with music, but I can barely listen to it now. I can’t really watch most tv, but I have, thankfully, been able to watch gentle anime in the evenings to settle me down for sleep. When I get through this, I think I will have to write some sort of love letter about the genre keeping me going. British panel shows and British painting and pottery shows I can also handle. Will I be able to enjoy tv, music, and fiction again? I feel like I don’t remember how to be a person. Why am I afraid to be alone with my thoughts? Why do I worry from the morning how I will distract myself enough to get through another day? Where is any feeling of fun or enthusiasm? I focus on gratitude and am making every effort to be kind to myself. I also make an effort to be kind to others. I feel love for my parents and brother, and I tell them so often. I’ve journaled about past pains and traumas and chosen to forgive those involved. So I’m trying to lay the groundwork for positivity in my brain. But I feel like I’m in an unending existential crisis. I have trouble making much of an effort to do things, and I often feel like there is no point. Sadness I can feel, but happiness is elusive. It all just takes time, right? I guess I’m looking for hope. Sorry if this is a bit of a disorganized mess. Thank you, SurvivingOnAnime Lexapro 5mg for 3 months (quit November 2019) Lexapro 10mg for 14 months (July 2018 - Sept 2019) Zoloft 50mg for 5 months (March 2018 - July 2018) Celexa for 10 years (2008- March 2018)

Hello all, I took lexapro and lithium for ten years. Summer 2019 I did a rapid taper off both. I figured if I didn't take the lexapro, I didn't need the lithium. I was dead wrong after being on the meds for so long. I have been med free since October 2019. I tried some mod stabilizers for a few months in the summer to see if they would help as I was really manic in the beginning, but everything made it all worse. I have suffered greatly with extreme noise sensitivity. I do feel manic and agitated and cannot be around people and noise very much. This has greatly ramped up since I have had some stressful life events lately. Here is my issue. I am manic and experiencing mixed states and intense anxiety but every time I take a mood stabilizer it actually makes me more manic (paradox reactions) and makes my noise sensitivity way worse. I just don't feel I can take anything but my mental health is in shambles. How am I to survive? Is there anyone else in this situation? What is one to do?

Im getting help from a friend to write this, that lives far away, because I function very little. Mind working very poorly. Hello ! I have unbearable pain thru body and burning all over . Can't move much, legs kill me. Not self caring. I believe akathasia . I been on and off meds this year . I can't go on anymore like this . I have self harm and wanna not live. Mind working very poorly. Here is a rough med history, may have some inaccuracies, its hard to tell: 2019 January: Started Lexapro 5 mg to 10 for one month. then stopped 2019 February to middle of Mai maybe: Celexa 20mg, then 10mg, then 5mg, then stopped 2019 from July for 5 weeks: Zolof, 25 to 50mg, then stopped 2019 January until maybe late November: Klonopin 0.5mg, as needed. Then stopped. 2019 since maybe late November: On nothing. Now I can barely move, in unbearable pain daily through my body and feeling of burning all over. In crisis. It's unbearable. My head is not working right. Having impulsive ideas. Dont want to live. My family wants me back on some meds. May not have resources or ability to take very low doses with a scale. In very bad shape and not much support. Mind working very poorly.

Because that's what happened with me. I was taking irregular doses of lexapro and the symptom started. Symptom started about 2-3 years ago and I quit lexapro about a year ago. I was taking half a pill every 3-4 days then I cold turkeyed. My question is, am I waking up multiple times during sleep because of withdrawal (and still seeing vivid dreams) and is there any chance this is permanent? Is my brain damaged permanently? I am taking Seroquel to help me go back to sleep because sometimes it's impossible to go back to sleep without calming down. Thanks

Hey guys, about 2-3 years ago, I started waking up after 5 hours of sleep constantly, and ever since then, I haven't had a full uninterrupted night's sleep. At the time I was taking half a pill of lexapro every 3rd of 4th day, whenever I felt the brain zap, I would take a pill to make it go away. Then about a year ago, I decided to ***** quit it cold turkey and the brain zaps have stopped but... I still wake up during sleep and I still see vivid dreams every single time I go to sleep. Am I permanently damaged? What should I do? I went to Reddit and offered $1000 to anyone who could tell me what's wrong with me and tell me how to treat it but mods removed it because I offered money, that's how desperate I am. It's been about a year and there is no SIGN of improvement AT ALL. I have a feeling I'm stuck like this for life and I can't live like this... I've started taking Seroquel to help me go back to sleep. I think it's cortisol spikes. I don't know what to do, I want to have a kid with my wife but I'm on sick leave because of this single symptom! I am not exaggerating. Please, anyone, tell me if there's any hope left in my case. PS: For the last 2-3 years, for every single day, for every single time I go to sleep, I see vivid dreams/nightmares and I wake up at least once fully wide awake and alert and struggle to go back to sleep. No exaggeration.