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  1. Hi, I think this site is just amazing, truly! Thank you to all who offer support. I never thought I would be on an antidepressant, but that changed in January 2022 when I was diagnosed with GAD. I ended up spending several days in a psych ward and was desperate to do anything to get better/functional. The psychiatrist said I should take 20 mg lexapro. I was fine with this arrangement until my last appointment with my psychiatrist in June 2022 when I asked about eventually reducing my dosage to 10 mg at some point. He responded by telling me that I could never go off lexapro because I’d been hospitalized. This upset me. So I started looking for information about reducing my dosage online and found your site. My plan is to follow the 10% rule and taper every 4 weeks, but I’ve already broken that plan and only did the 18 mg for 3 weeks. So far I seem to have no withdrawal symptoms, except for vivid dreams. I will add my medication and dosage history to my signature tomorrow. Thank you!
  2. hello everyone I am happy to be here! I started Paxil 20 in sep 2000 for stress anxiety and chronic back pain . I do know that anxiety- pain - depression all feed off each other. After 11 years on Paxil became sleepy all the time and no interest. When I would drop to lower dose I would feel better more interest in things. Tried stopping Paxil the wrong way twice. And Every time that I’ve dropped to fast and had withdrawals for a period of time and started back it always takes me 4 to 6 months to stabilize. Anyway Ended up with a dr -try this try that - side effects then withdrawals y’all no the routine. Dr doesn’t have a clue. I did meet one dr in 2006 that new about slow taper up and down don’t know where he is now. I am in process of tapering to 10 mg lexapro. I’m at 15 mg lexapro for 1 yr. I will see dr in one week to get 5 mg tablets to reduce by 1.25 mg every 2 months. I will end up dropping 11% when going from 11.25 mg to 10 mg which will be a little more than 10%. In 6 months I will go back to dr and ask for liquid lexapro. That’s my plan . I want to see how we do getting to 12.5 mg first ! My nerves are stable at this time. Reason for wanting to taper on down tired of side effects. At this time dry mouth, dry burning sinuses, dry eyes, little constipation, sleeping 12 hours on weekends. I’m working in a job I enjoy which has some little stresses. I still deal with come and go back pain and life stresses. Teens and college!! Over the years I have became sensitive to these drugs withdrawals and such. Obsessive worry type anxiety. I want to fill my tool box with all resources I need for this taper down. Changing thought patterns, letting feelings be there and not react to them, pain etc. I would love it to find cbt/support groups that is experienced in the areas of my needs in my location. After trying to withdraw a few times I am in no hurry If it takes 4 years that’s fine. I have learned a lot about these drugs in the past. I am glad to have found y’all and look forward to learning more!! I am so glad I found SA!!! My signature info should be on this post let me know if it don’t. I’m still learning my way around. thanks
  3. Hi everyone. I’m looking for some advice on two things. I’m on Cipralex drops 20mg/1ml. I’ve managed to wean myself from 15mg to 2mg. But I need to know how I can safely dilute the drops so that I get the accurate dosage of the active ingredient. Also does anyone know why you have to throw away Cipralex drops after eight weeks? If you keep them longer, does this have an impact on the active ingredient? Thank you so much in advance.
  4. Hi all. New here, obviously. Been sifting through the forum and already feel kinship with many of you. Some of the most brilliant and creative souls I’ve come across have been told they have an “imbalance” and have taken SSRIs. Maybe there’s something to be said in that. About me: I was 20 years old when I moved to a massive metropolitan city in 2012. And within six months I deteriorated… I was living with a very toxic and bizarre roommate, I was in school and working and trying to find my way when I started having daily panic attacks. I remember thinking I couldn’t swallow because I had a huge lump in my throat. So I stopped eating. Stopped going to class. Stopped taking public transport. I lost so much weight all the bones in my chest were visible. I cried every day, without fail for three months straight. I felt so alone and so scared. I went to a free clinic in the city where I met with a social worker. It didn’t help. So she referred me to a psychiatrist who gave me prozac 20mg (and Klonopin, which after 11 days I threw in the trash because I Intuitively suspected it was a drug that could kill me). Within a few months I became functional again. No one ever taught me coping skills in the clinic or dove into anything under the surface. Fast forward two years, I was feeling better and living back in my home state and with my parents, and enrolled in university. So I got off the meds cold turkey. Wow. Everything came back — not as bad, but still strong. But I started seeing a therapist at the university and doing mindfulness based group cognitive therapy at the school for free and those things changed my life. I started journaling. I found Tara Brach and Pema Chodron and Alan Watts. I started doing yoga every week without fail and had a community in that. The yoga teacher (a middle aged Eastern man) was a mentor and a guide. Two years after that I was 24, a recent college grad, and moved to a foreign country to teach (which I did for two years). It was an awesome experience. But within the first six months of living there a lot of those wirey feelings came back. Sleeplessness. Crying. OCD thoughts, circling and circling. Thoughts about harm, despite not wanting to harm. No appetite. Constant feeling of fear. I remember feeling pissed off at this. Like why is this happening? Why can’t I just feel good on this unique and incredible adventure? Why did this “come back” after all my hard work for two and a half years? Why? At the time, I chalked it up to the ole “chemical imbalance in my brain” theory. Even today I still want to better understand what got me so off track but more importantly why I didn’t cope through it with all the other non medication tools I’d learnt. And a part of me believes it’s simply because moving (or ANY major life changes) are HARD. Really really hard. For anyone. And maybe some people just feel it stronger? And get thrown off by the feelings? That’s my guess. Would love to know if any of you have experienced that years after being stable (and thriving) post SSRI use. So I marched right over to the local hospital, sat in the chair and asked for an SSRI. Prozac, 20 mg On the spot. The psych gave it to me. That was Dec 2016. Then in April 2017 I asked to switch to lexapro 10mg. Been on it ever since. I’ve gained 50 pounds in five years. It’s so uncomfortable and I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. And I hate to say it but that’s what made go down the rabbit hole of “what the actual **** is this drug doing to me?” Now my eyes are open. I can’t unsee it, all the studies and stories of people fighting for their life to get off these medications. It blew me away. Just a year ago i believed medication changed my life for the better. I’m not so sure now. So October 25, 2021 I cut the pills in half. 5mg. Took a week to stabilize. Dec 6 2021 cut them in half again. 2.5 mg. Took a week to stabilize. But then, December 24, I contracted covid. And it brought up so much anxiety. I was shocked. Buzzy wirey no appetite crying all day kind of anxiety. And I knew it wasn’t because of the covid. So 12/28/21 I brought it back to 5 mg and that’s what I’m doing now. All this to say, I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the truth of it all — ssri’s are dangerous. My psychiatrists (all 4 of them) didn’t help me and never gave me informed consent. I never did the research. ME. I took all the info at face value. I’m overweight and it sucks and I know in my deepest gut (pun intended) it’s the SSRIs. I feel afraid. Afraid to face it all, and the road ahead. Afraid of “when I’m full weaned off and feeling good again what if the strong anxiety comes back years later — how will I cope???” But I know I’m strong enough. I know I can do it again. Thank you for reading. Love, Abel
  5. I have been on Lexapro (10mg. daily) & Mirtazapine (7.5 mg. daily) since 2003. The combination of these 2 drugs gave me some wonderful years up until 2017. Because of the expense of the brand name Lexapro, I switched to Escitalopram. Right away I noticed a difference in my mood & side effects. I always had to be careful of my weight on these drugs, but I was willing to endure this trade-off for the relief I got from taking these meds. Taking Escitalopram, caused me to begin having severe anxiety & digestive issues. I started taking Alprazolam to curb the anxiety, but it seemed to make matters worse. I switched back to brand name Lexapro in 2018, & did a slow taper off of Alprazolam in 2019. I jumped from it in Dec. 2019. I still take the Lexapro & Mirtazapine. However, I still have lingering side effects. They include constant burping, stomach gurgling & bloating, & trapped gas. I’ve had a series of GI tests & all came back normal. Blood work was ok too. I’m wondering if Lexapro is the culprit, & considering doing a very slow taper off of it. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
  6. Hi everyone, I am glad I found this web-site. I did read some of the topics similar to mine, still it seems each case is unique. Thank you for reading my post. I was on 10 mg of Lexapro from July 2017-July 2018 for anxiety and mild depression. Felt good right from the start, no side effects from taking it. From July 2018- June 2020 I was on 5 mg of Lexapro. Felt good too. I started tappering in June 2020 with very little knowledge as I can see now. I was impulsive and wanted to get it over with. So, over the course of the next 3 months ( or little less since I can’t say for sure) I would take 5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly once a week until I stopped August 1st 2020. First 2 weeks after I stopped were emotionally hard since all the fears that I haven’t had before, like losing people I love, to getting dying old in matter of seconds, to just being scared for no reason. Next 2 weeks were physically horrible, from the constant trips to the restroom, nausea, my whole body tingling, chills and just wanting to reap my skin off. I survived it. I must mention that during this time I visited homeopath and was given some kind of remedy that possibly made it worse for me as remedies of this type tend to do. Next 5 weeks has been just mix of everything, with physical sympthoms lessening but also changing. Like my body doesn’t tingle anymore ( hands from time to time) but back of my head feel tight and I feel chill there too. Emotionally, it just seems that I can’t shake off some of the fears I mentioned at the begining of my post and sometimes I think they make my body feel worse. It feels like I am getting better but it feels like micro mini steps. I need to be patient I realise. I am still wondering, do I just continue like this with no drugs OR should I try to go back on a smaller dose then tapper much more slowly??? 10 mg Lexapro from July 2017–July 2018 5 mg Lexapro from July 2018– June 2020 Tappering from June—August with 5 mg August 1st 2020– drug free
  7. I'm curious, after learning about the Brass Monkey Tapering schedule: would it make sense to taper by 10% or less, and hold it for 4-6 weeks, then taper down 10% or less again? I'm not sure i follow tapering down weekly for four weeks then holding. My daughter want so taper off Lexipro after 7 years and last time didn't go well (too fast) and she/we want to do it right this time and make this the final time. thank you.
  8. Hello, I am coming off Lexapro. I’ve been on it for 6 months. This has been the first antidepressant I have ever taken and I take no other medication. Although I feel really good, I have started to get an extremely low pulse rate constantly and low blood pressure. This has been the case for about 3 weeks now. My pulse is hovering between 48 to 55 beats per minute. I am also experiencing dizziness when getting up. I had read that Lexapro can cause Bradycardia. On 19th September I reduced the dose from 20mg to 15mg. I am planning to cut down every 3 weeks. I have decided not to jump from 15mg to 10mg in one go and will go from 15mg to 12.5mg. I will stay on each lower dosage for 3 weeks. Do you think 3 weeks is long enough for each step? Have you any recommendations with cutting down? Should I be doing it more slowly for example? Drops only exist in 20mg here, so unfortunately I cannot use these to reduce mg by mg. I am feeling extremely lethargic. I am putting this down to my low blood pressure. I hope you will get back to me. I was very happy to fall on your website and read your very helpful information.
  9. Hi there everyone, Im really hoping to get some perspective on my situation as it feels as though Im a bit of a loss. My story: In May 2016 I suffered a mental break due to high situational stress which resurfaced trauma. I experienced panic attacks, depression, paranoia (induced by an acne medication started in the days prior) instrusive thoughts, etc. Not knowing what was happening I saw an MD that prescribed me Zoloft. After 2 days on it I became desperate and ended up in hospital where I was switched onto Lexapro 15mg and Risperidone 0.5 for my racing thoughts and sleeping pills. I was released after 2 weeks and soon after I quickly gave up the sleeping pills. I underwent psychotherapy and in February 2017 I gave up the dose of Risperidone and reduced my Lexapro to 10 mg. In spring of 2018 I talked to my MD about feeling strong enough to begin my taper as I felt like I'd been functioning well. The side effects of reduced emotions, 30lb weight gain and low libido were nagging me so he said I was approved to go. I did some research and began reducing at what I thought was a slow taper; in retrospect I can see it wasn't. I did my best to cut the pills and did this: -10mg to 7.5mg for 2 weeks - 7.5mg to 6mg for 3 weeks - 6mg to 5mg for 2 weeks And so forth... As I tapered I experienced WD symptoms like anxiety, panic, dizziness, crying spells etc. As a result I started seeing a therapist who was supportive of what I was trying to do. When I got to smaller doses I switched to a liquid form of lexapro and managed to wean myself to 1.2mg and then it was TOO MUCH. I reinstated to 1.3mg and recovered for months as my work life became so complicated and I needed time to help myself. That last taper was in Sept 2018 and here I am nearly 10 months later. I have been changing my lifestyle and working through again resurfaced traumas with a new therapist, and Im feeling more like that mild to moderate depression is lifting. I have been struggling again with a lack in range of emotions and wondering if this is a me problem or a medication issue. The therapist seems to think that my anxiety and mild/moderate depression are back and new meds is the key solution. With all the progress I've made and how I've grown in over 3 years makes me think otherwise, so I feel stuck. Being on such a low dose how should I go about continuing my taper? Is it possible Im experiencing a poop-out that I've read about? Just looking for advice! On the day to day my mood is stable not much anxiety except around my cycle. Just again those flattened emotions which is frustrating. This website has been a guide post for me in educating myself, thank you so much!
  10. 2 months ago I was prescribed 5 mg of lexapro for depression after a 10 minute discussion where all I said was basically I had low energy. I knew I was sensitive to medication so I only took 2.5mg and only a few hours later I started having side effects and decided this was not for me. I thought they would last for the time it took for lexapro to leave my system but boy was that wrong. These 2 months have been the hardest of my life. It's like the side effects come and go in waves, getting worse and worse with small "windows" of feeling sane again. They include digestive upset, at first just diarrhea but that has gone away and now I just have random projectile vomiting usually set off by something so small like even a small magnesium supplement or food that I had no problem taking before. Brain zaps after the first month,have gone away but I thought I was having seizures when they happened my whole body would shake and any head movement or stress would trigger seeing stars and blackouts it was horrifying. Now at the near 3 month mark the emotional symtoms are the worst, every morning it's like I feel my mind spiral out of control as I wake up and become more alert. It's almost like I have to make myself not think because every thought becomes reality and the thoughts are always extreme and terrifying. Sometimes I can meditate and come into reality in the evening with the help of a beta blocker but during the day it is a constant effort to just sit still and not run away or believe the paranoid thoughts and delusions that are terrifying that I even think them. Each day usually ends in hysterical crying and existential terror which exhausts me to the point that I feel some "window" of normal like other people talk about. Thankfully my family is home from work due to the coronavirus but unfortunately the psychiatric place by my home is closed. My family doesn't believe this is caused by the lexapro and I know my doctor would not either. But I've read on sites that people are tapering off it in extremely tiny doses way smaller than 2.5mg So I guess my question is how much longer until I feel normal?? I read the article on this site about how some people try to go back on their drug to get off it slower but idk if this point if I should do that or if I'm too far past the last dose and theres no one to ask because most people believe that I should be fine from the 'small's dose I took. My current physical symptoms are no appetite despite constant stomach gurgling, acid reflux, vomiting, sweating shaking tremors, the worst is the constant pounding heartbeat, at any time of of my eyes is slightly drooping and my brain and face feel like it's hot and on fire. I've tried taking extremely small doses of theanine, klonopin, and 5htp. Nothing really helps longterm because it seems these symtoms are part of withdrawal and theres nothing I can do to stop them. I hope this isnt too long and does not come across as insensitive to others who were on larger doses for a longer time. I would greatly appreciate absolutely ANY support or advice.
  11. Hello I have been taking escitalopram/lexapro 5mg for nearly 2 years. I want to taper but the GP in the UK is refusing to switch me to the liquid from tablets. I already have an existing health condition, as I already have symptoms such as migraine, brain fog, palpitations, insomnia from a combination of Chronic fatigue syndrome. And I am a single mum with no family. Despite this they refuse. Can anyone help with info as to how I can get the liquid in the UK? I have tried Rosemont and martindale pharmacies mentioned on here. I really am scared of making my own liquid or scale and filing taper. As I’m not good with figures at all. can anyone advise please?
  12. Hello, I’m 27 and have been taking Lexpro for 8 years, mostly for anxiety. I started at 10 mg but quickly went up to 20, and have been here for a while. I’ve tried a couple times to taper off with the usual advice of going down to 15 mg, but neither time worked. My previous psychiatrist even went so far as to say, “You have an anxiety disorder, maybe you should come to terms with the fact you’ll be on medication for a very long time.” I don’t go to her anymore! I also have a prescription for 0.5 mg Ativan, but I don't use it very often—maybe once every 6 weeks. Now, I’m trying essentially the 10% regimen. I’m starting by cutting my 20mg pill into quarters and doing two days 20mg/one day 15mg. I would like to switch to the liquid, though, to make small dose changes easier. So far, I’ve had some fatigue and nausea. I’m still working my way through reading the site, but am feeling really thankful that I found this community here!
  13. Ashleyann20

    Ashleyann20: New today

    Hello I am glad I stumbled on this forum. I have started to withdraw from 20 mg of Lexapro after 10 years. My dr. has me doing a fairly fast withdraw. 15 mg for 7 days, 10 mg for 7 days, 5 mg for 7 days. It is the 2nd day and I am surviving . lol I feel like I have the flu but that could be the start of withdrawal symptoms. I look forward to reading more of other folks experience.
  14. Martha


    I have been taking lexapro 10 mg for about 5 yrs. i will be discussing a 5% and 10% taper with my doc. Do you have a taper schedule I can show her?
  15. Hi, all; new to the forum. After discussing with my doctor, I decided to try to discontinue lexapro. I started taking it about 10 years ago in response to the passing of my parents. It has been very effective in treating the anxiety and depression that I was feeling at the time. I made a few stabs at coming off of it a couple years after I started, but the anxiety/depression returned fairly quickly after reducing or discontinuing it. I'm now back in a place where I would prefer not to be on it -- parents are long gone, I'm well into my 40s, wife and kids are fine, work is what it is, and I can't point to any real reason in my life to be anxious or depressed at this time. So, I have started to taper down (hopefully signature worked and you can see). I switched to 5mg 2 weeks ago but I've noticed that I'm starting to feel anxiety and a general depression / down on life mood coming on. The Dr. said I'm fine to discontinue the 5mg dosage at any time. But I'm not sure. I've noticed that I'm feeling more tired than usual, less focused, and while I'm sleeping more (8hrs a night), I wake up a few times in the middle of the night and go right back to sleep, and I'm still tired all day. I've also noticed that I'm feeling more anxious when I wake up in the morning about issues that aren't really issues from any objective standpoint (ie, they're either not issues or they are issues outside of my control for which there is no point worrying). I would assume that if I drop the dosage to 0 or 2.5mg, the feelings and anxiety will intensify, and I'm not really in a mood for that. Should I just stick on 5mg for a few more weeks or months and then try decreasing later? Will the negative feelings I'm experiencing now, if I stay at 5mg, begin to decrease soon as I get used to that dosage? And how long does that take? The Dr. really seemed to think 5mg was almost a sub-clinical dose. I don't want to be overly cautious (I'm rather enjoying the increased feelings of engagement with the world and lack of decreased libido that come with dropping to 5mg) but I also don't want to experience any more anxiety than I'm feeling right now. I also assume (and would hope) that my concerns and experiences are normal. Thanks in advance for reading.
  16. Hello, First, thank you for being here. I have tapered off Lexapro after being on it for two years. This is not my first go-around on Lexapro, as I was on it when I was about 30 (I'm 44 now) and then got off, and I don't remember a lot of withdrawal symptoms back then except electric eel shocks. I got off it because I wanted to have a baby and I wanted to be off it (I did and it was fine!). This time around, my chemistry has changed. I was on 10 mg and went to 7.5 mg for 3 weeks. Then I went to 5, for three weeks. Then 2.5 for three weeks. Then off. The taper from 5 to 2.5 mg was pretty bad but the taper from 2.5 to nothing is horrific. The electric eel shocks are tremendous and motion sickness-inducing. The worst of it was day 3 and 4 after stopping. I am 2 weeks after 0 and still having them, though not as frequent. Now I'm in the emotional wave of withdrawal, which is not something I experienced before, and it is what worries me the most and promoted the googling and finding of this wonderful forum. I am irritable, full of rage, and super sensitive. My anxiety is okay, but I'm putting up walls around me to make sure people can't attack me and send me spiraling. Social situations are ridiculous, I can't even handle them. I say inappropriate things. I am always sleepy and I sleep too much on weekends. I think what's most worrisome and therefore why this site is so important is the worries I have: without the buffer of Lexapro to take the ragged edges off the world, who am I? What can I handle? Will I always have to be careful? I was happy in a sustained way for the first time in several years, which is why I made the decision to get off. Will I be again? These are the questions I'm looking to answer. Thank you for reading!
  17. Hi all. My first post here. I’m not sure where to begin. I had a pretty traumatic experience back in April that spiraled me into a deep depression and obsessive loop of negative thoughts. I started my first AD (Zoloft) a month later. It was horrendous. I was literally in a panic all day but thought maybe a lot of what I was experiencing could had been part of the process. I was sleeping only an hour a night. Literally could not sleep. Beginning of June comes around and my doctor prescribed me Klonopin to sleep. It worked. But little did I know what this drug actually was. I stopped after 3 weeks and just days later felt like I was dying. I was withdrawing after just a short 3.5 weeks on this drug. I somehow made it through. And not long after On July 1st I did a straight switch from the Zoloft to Lexapro 10 mg. On Sept 1st I jumped up to 20mg because nothing was changing. I have just continued to feel gross on this medication. I notice every morning before I take my next dose (when the meds are at their half life) I feel my best and I feel pretty good I’m the evening prior to bed. I feel extremely foggy/in my head/aware of my thinking several hours after taking my meds. Coincidence? November 1st i started to lower my dose. I dropped to 15mg and stayed there for a month. December 8th I dropped to 10mg. After the first week I start to notice a big increases in irritation and anxiety/headaches/diarrhea/twitches... then it dissipates. Today is day 10 and I’m feeling better today so far. I’m wondering if anyone else has a similar experience? I do plan to continue my taper. Very slowly. I’m thinking of getting the liquid and reducing by 1mg each month. Thoughts? Wishing everyone one good health and healing. Be well, michelle
  18. I just finished a 16 month taper off of a benzo on Oct 9th after taking as directed for almost 30 years. Now I need to taper off of Lexapro (I’ve been taking an SSRI for equally as long). How long should I wait in between tapers? I want to do this slow and cautious.
  19. I'm new to this group. I came here after reading the mind-blowing piece in The New Yorker in April. I'd been wondering for some time: Am I supposed to be taking these pills my whole life? I currently take 20mg of Lexapro daily. Back in October of last year my doc switched me to that from 20mg of Paxil. Am I feeling better, different? Emotionally: not so much. I am, in fact, struggling with anxiety and, well, depression, but right now I think a lot of my funk has to do with situational issues--no work or income, no girlfriend, fear about my future. At the same time I'm feeling (and this seems to be the case with all antidepressants) that while the meds may be cutting off the very low "lows," emotionally speaking, they also seem to be cutting of the "highs." It's like my emotional range overall seems to have been narrowed--to coin a sports metaphor, it seems like my feelings exist only between the 20-yard lines rather than from end zone to end zone. Then there's the dampened libido. So, I'm thinking it's time to try life without medication. On 7/1 I plan to begin titrating down my daily dosage with an eye toward getting to zero in about nine months. Any thoughts about my experience in general and/or my strategy going forward would be most welcome. Thanks, H
  20. Hi Everyone. A large part of this post is me venting a bit and getting things off my chest. I know many of you may be in a similar boat so I'd like to share with you my own experience, as perhaps relating can help you out as expressing it may help me. I started taking escitalopram/lexapro in Spring 2014 following the end of a relationship I probably should not have been in. I had mixed feelings about the woman from the start, but since I so rarely feel attraction I figured I should give it a shot because I was getting into my late 20s and have not had a serious relationship since high school. I kept seeing her even though my gut kept saying "no", as I thought that something was inherently wrong in me. My gut almost always says "no" whenever I date, even when I have no idea why it's saying no. The therapist I was seeing at the time thought I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder, mentioning that some people do seek medical treatment for it, some stay with CBT, and some prefer both. I talked to the doctor and they were, of course, more than happy to prescribe it. Now this is an important point I need to make: I took this drug under the assumption that I was simply too anxious to fall in love, and that if I was less anxious I would be far more "able" to fall in love with someone. I took it to answer the philisophical question of "am I too anxious to fall in love, or am I just not really into her and that leads me to be anxious because I feel bad for leading her on". I must add that I am also naturally introspective and introverted, two things that have lead me in the past to date little and not have as much experience as I should. First few months on the drug were actually pretty good! I found a new job, moved to a new city where I had some friends already, and established a healthy social life that fit my personality. I did some online dating, which was successful in the sense of getting dates and establishing more confidence with women, but no relationship. I met my now ex-gf of 2+ years through an in-person social event. We hit it off and started dating. Thing is, I didn't fall in love with her either, but we kept dating because things were pretty good! Common interests, got along well, were really on the same wavelength on most everything. She was my best friend and I shared everything with her, even the parts of me I'm not proud of. Still, during the whole time we were together, I always felt like something was missing. Like I was 90% of the way there to the kind of partner I wanted to spend my life with, but I just wasn't able to fall in love with her for whatever reason. I played the role of a good boyfriend and hoped that feelings would materialize over time. Some did, like compassion, concern, care, friendship, excitement for her wins, sorrow for her losses, wanting the best for her, not wanting her to be sad. But the romantic feelings didn't show up, though I did care for her greatly (and still do). Eventually we broke up, earlier this year, because she wanted to move in together and I just knew inside that it was not the right decision for me to make. So we broke up. I cried like hell for a week, even on 10 mg. My emotions were not entirely suppressed during this time, I could still laugh and cry and feel normal anxiety. I have since decided to get off the drug, and since early may this year my taper has looked like the following. Every 8-10 days I would drop down to the next dose. 10 mg -> 7,5mg (no real issues, minor headaches) 7,5 -> 5 mg (had bad effects, went back up to 7.5 to stabilize) 7.5->7.0 7 -> 6.25 6.25 -> 5 5 -> 4 4 -> 3.25 3.25 -> 2.5 2.5 -> 1.875 1.875 -> 1.25 1.25 -> 0.625 0.625 -> 0 (August 5) About 3 months overall. Obviously a fast taper. At each dose change there was a headache from days 3-5, but then that would abate. I felt angry and irritated most of the time. Since going to 0.625, and then 0, I have felt sadness like I have not known before except in circumstances of extreme loss, such as the death of a loved one. It feels like I am back where I was when I broke up with my gf. I cry over everything. I think of little things we used to do together and it sets me off. I wake up and I cry. My gf has a dog that I absolutely adore and just thinking about her makes me so goddamn sad that all I can do is sit and cry. I feel like all the progress I made in getting my life back together and moving on from the emotional amputation of the breakup has been brought back up with a vengeance. I have read Helen Fisher's articles/book about SSRIs potentially making people unable to fall in love or fall out of love. I find this quite ironic because it was literally the reason why I started taking SSRIs in the first place. Now it turns out they may have been contributing negatively to my own goal of finding a partner to fall in love with and settle down. This part is really messing with my mind, especially today, because it makes me so uncertain as to what is real and what is not, if my gut is believable or if it's just a liar. I feel like I am back where I was in 2014, although this time with a plethora of neuro-emotions messing everything up. I realize now that I am definitely suffering from WD. I am planning to reinstate back to 0.625mg (easiest way to cut the pill). I believe this is an appropriate decision, but I want to check with you fine folk. Is reinstating a good idea? Should I go higher? Not reinstate and wait it out? I am very glad I have found this site, otherwise I think I would be on the verge of a breakdown due to not understanding what's going on in my head. Thank you
  21. Hi everyone, I have been on one antidepressant or another since I was 16; I am 38 now. I have been on Cipralex for at least 13 years. Five days ago, I reduced my Lexapro/Cipralex from 20 to 15 mg (depending which country you are from - shoutout to the Canadians in the forum). My new psych suggested I wouldn’t notice a 5 mg drop, and I didn’t at first, but today I felt low and this evening, I was extremely irritable. A few hours past the time I usual take my dose, I had nervous system hypersensitivity (head zaps, reaction to noises, etc). That’s when I put two-and-two together. Withdrawal. I was never one that could miss a dose without repercussions. Even if I took it late I noticed withdrawal start to set in. After my son was born, they suspected I had serotonin syndrome and I had to drop from 30 mg to 20, with no tapering. I had hot flashes for months and moths, but thankfully no brain zaps. When I was a teenager, I went off Paxil and forgot who I was for almost a day. But I don’t recall any long-term symptoms. Maybe I have forgotten. At this point, I am concerned about the impact tapering may have on my life, especially on my already strained marriage and on my work performance and young son. I want to be healthy and as unencumbered by a drug as possible - I don’t want withdrawal leading my behaviour. So much so, that sometimes I think staying on lexapro forever is a better option. i still wrestle with this, but the main reason I want to go off my meds is that I think the strange side effect feelings i attribute to lexapro is a main instigator for my continued anxiety and panic attacks. I think the cure is worse than the disease, so to speak. I am also dismayed by the new research that suggests SSRIs change how the brain works. I have been on them for so long... Thanks for listening. Good luck to you all.
  22. Hello everyone, First I must say you are all awesome. The level of support and understanding is amazing! Sending lots of good vibes to all of you! So let's jump right in, I am currently taking the following medication. Wellbutrin (75MG) to counteract the zombieness feeling of Lexapro, 10mg of Buspar - three times a day - love this medication 2.5 mg of Lexapro - reduced from 10 mg since November. First, I want to mention that the reason I got on SSRI was due to General Anxiety Disorder. The Lexapro helped for a while but then it "pooped out" and it started to make me feel like a Zombie. The Wellbutrin did help with motivation but also caused even more anxiety especially with all the medication ( I reduced from 150mg to 75mg to lower anxiety) . Last month, I was given Buspar and OMG I LOVE IT. Buspar has for the most part eliminated the anxiety so I am very grateful. However the only issue I am having now is the constant fatigue and lack of motivation. I can stay in bed all day and have no desire to go out. I also have issues with having a good time and enjoying time with friends. Should I continue the tapering the Lexapro every 2 weeks (from 2.5 mg to 2.0mg) and perhaps increase my Wellbutrin to help with fatigue ? ( My doctor informed me that I could increase the Wellbutrin to 150mg if needed , but I don't want to mess to much with the nervous system.
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