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  1. 2 months ago I was prescribed 5 mg of lexapro for depression after a 10 minute discussion where all I said was basically I had low energy. I knew I was sensitive to medication so I only took 2.5mg and only a few hours later I started having side effects and decided this was not for me. I thought they would last for the time it took for lexapro to leave my system but boy was that wrong. These 2 months have been the hardest of my life. It's like the side effects come and go in waves, getting worse and worse with small "windows" of feeling sane again. They include digestive upset, at first just diarrhea but that has gone away and now I just have random projectile vomiting usually set off by something so small like even a small magnesium supplement or food that I had no problem taking before. Brain zaps after the first month,have gone away but I thought I was having seizures when they happened my whole body would shake and any head movement or stress would trigger seeing stars and blackouts it was horrifying. Now at the near 3 month mark the emotional symtoms are the worst, every morning it's like I feel my mind spiral out of control as I wake up and become more alert. It's almost like I have to make myself not think because every thought becomes reality and the thoughts are always extreme and terrifying. Sometimes I can meditate and come into reality in the evening with the help of a beta blocker but during the day it is a constant effort to just sit still and not run away or believe the paranoid thoughts and delusions that are terrifying that I even think them. Each day usually ends in hysterical crying and existential terror which exhausts me to the point that I feel some "window" of normal like other people talk about. Thankfully my family is home from work due to the coronavirus but unfortunately the psychiatric place by my home is closed. My family doesn't believe this is caused by the lexapro and I know my doctor would not either. But I've read on sites that people are tapering off it in extremely tiny doses way smaller than 2.5mg So I guess my question is how much longer until I feel normal?? I read the article on this site about how some people try to go back on their drug to get off it slower but idk if this point if I should do that or if I'm too far past the last dose and theres no one to ask because most people believe that I should be fine from the 'small's dose I took. My current physical symptoms are no appetite despite constant stomach gurgling, acid reflux, vomiting, sweating shaking tremors, the worst is the constant pounding heartbeat, at any time of of my eyes is slightly drooping and my brain and face feel like it's hot and on fire. I've tried taking extremely small doses of theanine, klonopin, and 5htp. Nothing really helps longterm because it seems these symtoms are part of withdrawal and theres nothing I can do to stop them. I hope this isnt too long and does not come across as insensitive to others who were on larger doses for a longer time. I would greatly appreciate absolutely ANY support or advice.
  2. I'm so relieved to have found this group! I was on lexapro for more than 15 years- 5 mg day- and last spring I decided to taper with the goal of being lexapro free. I was able to do so with the help of a compounding pharmacy over the course of three or four months. I felt pretty dicey throughout the process- no help from my shrink who believes that one can do this by mixing the pills in applesauce and take just a few weeks to become drug free. I am now off Lexapro but feel terrible- I cry frequently and my emotions are always in a turmoil. I am anxious/depressed. Is this part of the withdrawl or is it my natural state now? My reading informs me that I tapered off much too fast and that the withdrawl symptoms can last a long time. Not sure how to proceed- I started DBT therapy a few weeks ago so too soon to tell if it will help. So far, my emotions seem to be even more unregulated! BTW, I was put on lexapro when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and over the years I tried to get off the drug but the side effects were so awful I never succeeded until now. Any ideas or thoughts would be helpful as I decide if I should restart an antidepressant or soldier on and hope that things will get better.
  3. Hi guys, Will post a long post so that those interested in the detail can delve in, but will also do a tl;dr at the end :) I’ve been on Lexapro for 11 years, about half of that time on 10mg, and then upped to 20 during a particularly stressful period. In that time I have enjoyed the sense of calm that it has brought me in some ways. However the anxiety has never quite gone away and I’ve felt shut off from my emotions, and in a lot of ways, the world. In the end, I think I was becoming more of an anxious hermit because in my mind I had convinced myself I was a ‘very anxious person’ since I was one heavy meds and therefore decided it was best I kept myself to myself - that I was somehow ‘disabled’ and not worthy of interactions. In terms of side effects, it has obliterated my memory, if I am downstairs at home and have to go upstairs to get something, I need to chant/sing to myself exactly what I need from upstairs otherwise I’ll forget it. Most times when I have been drinking, some would say heavily, >7 drinks in some setting, I’ve completely lost my memory, and have done some very, very stupid things, including often driving drunk in a state I only hazily recall (even mounting the curb into oncoming traffic). I have picked outrageously fights with every single partner I’ve had through this period, and decided in the middle of one night I’d run away from my partner house and I walked, sobbing, for about 11 kilometres in the cold to get to my own home, in a highly wound up state. After many drinks too I would often hallucinate that there were people in my house that I had to deal with – somehow I’d allowed a whole bunch of strangers into my unit that I didn’t want there. I would even talk to them (no one was there). I started tapering off about 6 months ago. This was brought about in particular because I had some sort of waking nightmare/dissociative state/serotonin overdose when I was very drunk, and said some very bad and strange things (sexually related) to my current wonderful partner – things that are not at all me and were more along the lines of hallucinations. Unfortunately this has happened again about five times during the weaning off process, and the last time (just recently) my wonderful partner told me there were no more chances between us, it was too traumatic for him. Again on that occasion, along with being particularly nasty and acting bizarrely with him, I hallucinated there were many people in my house. You’d think that I’d give up on the drinking (easy answer) and I can confirm that I have given up, until the drugs are well out of my system. The other huge impact that tapering off has had for me is my irritability – it is absolutely off the charts, and probably more like rage. Rage at everything and everyone – friends, family, my beloved pet, people on the street – at their actions and what they say to me. Irrational and scary. I’ve learnt to take a few hours to respond to texts that bug me, and fortunately by the time a few hours have passed, I’ve calmed down and been able to respond rationally. This is a very odd neurological glitch in my head clearly, and something I’ve never experienced pre-SSRIs. Always been a happy girl. This is accompanied by what I see as the more standard nausea, brain zaps, dizziness, itchiness and discomfort in my own skin. I’ve heard that Lexapro in particular can actually make you crave alcohol more, and I think this may have been happening to me – there was a long period there where all I could think about was that Friday afternoon drink, that cold beer on a Saturday night et and my impulse control and off-switch did not exist. Am very much looking forward to being completely off Lexapro – am now at 5mg per day and probably a month or two off being off it – all things going well. Sharing in case this helps or in case anyone else has experienced similar – always feels nice to be supported in our struggles and know that you’re not alone. Cheers :) TL;DR: Lexapro has caused me hallucinations; possible serotonin syndrome or overdose; alcohol induced mania/pathological intoxication; gross disinhibition; rage, and complete irrationality. I cant wait to be off.
  4. I need help and didn't know where to turn Today is 16 days off of Ecsotalipram. I was on 10mg of Ecsotalipram for 11 years I started when I was 15 and I am now 26. I started tapering off in December of 2018 and all went well except for the brain shocks. I tapered all the way down to 2.5mg and then stopped 16 days ago. This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through mentally. The brain zaps have actually gone away now I am left with the nausea and dizziness if I move my head around, depression the literally makes me feel physically ill and weak, I'm experiencing feelings and emotions I remember having as a child and not good ones, the feeling of being trapped in a dream and not present in my body. I thought my anxiety and panic attacks would be through the roof but I'm feeling everything else. Has anyone experienced this and how long will this last? I just need help. I feel like I've lost who I am.
  5. I was only on Lexapro for situatonal anxiety. I started mid May at 1.25mg and went gradually up to 7.5 mg in one month. I decided I didnt like it and started to come down the next month gradually as well until at the end of the month I was at 1.25 for a week and then 0. THe last 3 weeks after that have been HELLLLLL! Horrible. Tightness in head and lower back, cannot sleep well, nervous system wont calm down - that was the first 2 weeks. I thought it would get better! But week 4 started and the symptoms are even more bizarre- disconnected from my body, feel slightly detached and far away- head hurts. I am scared now as I read what people have gone though and the lasting effects. I am really petrified to go back on the stupid Lexapro now that I have waited to so long. I only have a general doctor and she knows nothing. I am very nervous..
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