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btdt posted a topic in Finding meaningI was making a reply to you when once again my message disappeared this is happening to me a lot on here lately I cannot even guess the cause but I do not like it. I do not want to get into the crime aspect of this post or the backchat ...I don't know what that term means. I would like to talk about grief as it seems to apply to my life while in withdrawal. I had a few people die when I was in the first year of my cold turkey from effexor and I think the grief process was different than what it would have been had I not been in withdrawal. I have processed it differently doing it bit by bit as I am able and I am comfortable with that till now at least. I think there is a sort of grief some of us have as to how the use of Ads has affected our lives being drugged for years because we could not get off the drugs without mental issues is bad enough with all the side effects mania and misunderstanding that happen living life in an altered state of drug use. For me the grief come in and hits hard when I learned I went thru and did all that needlessly for lack of a bit of truth. Had I known some simple truths we now know about these drugs I could have missed so much pain for myself and for those I love. I could have lived a completely different life for much of those 25 years. There is grief in that and empty sort of eating at your guts grieving the loss of ones own life even though your alive. Loss of opportunity in so many aspects of life that were stolen by drug use all based on a lie of not only no withdrawal but the off label use for treating pain ugh it makes me want to hurl... it is too much. I was such a stupid and needless loss of a life ...loss of my life of love of satisfaction from serious study and work .. too much loss. As I say this grief is real I do not see it connected to neuro emotion which to me is a physiological state of upheaval.. yes there were times in withdrawal where I had both the intense loss of my own life and neuro emotion co-inhabiting but for the most part they are not the same thing or even part of the same loaf of bread. They are two different types of food ... one comes on like a sugar high I cannot control the other is made of veggies and sticks to my bones hard and long... for want of a bit of truth I have lost 25 years ..there is a slow burning grief in that and it does not go away. That is my distinction on this topic and while it may not be about paxilprogress closing so it may not belong here I was something I really needed to say. I wish you all peace If Mods think this should be moved some place new by all means move it.
Today is my birthday and received this book I just ordered and read it through (an achievement in itself these days!) "How to be Sick:" a Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers," by Toni Bernhard Just lovely notions of about acceptance, loss (of former self, friends, profession, etc.) and how to use basics of Buddhist practice when dealing with our own illness: to completely feel but try to let go of guilt, bitterness, sorrow, and loss and embrace the happiness of others without envy, our own abilities given our limitations, and solitude. Basically, she emphasizes not to judge ourselves, and treat ourselves with compassion and kindness. Especially like how she advises a breath practice where INSTEAD of breathing in "health and well being" and exhaling "suffering," to do the opposite and extend a sense of self-care and nurturing to others. In other words, try not to panic and really feel what is happening, but to try and let it go. This is especially true in relationship to others in our lives: to embrace what other people can and cannot do for us with understanding. So for my birthday I extend hope and good wishes to all!