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  1. I am only 12 clean; are we calling it clean? This is the 5th time I have gotten off of an anti-depressant; Lexapro. The first 4 times was Celexa. All I ever took was Celexa until 16 months ago when I started Lexapro. In the past, with Celexa, I weaned for a year. No reading about weaning and no direction with a doctor. Just me thinking I needed a year. But this time I came off in only 2 months unfortunately. Because thats what the doctor told me to do and I wanted to get pregnant. I am 37 and my first son is 7. They are far enough apart already. But I am no longer ready to have a child at this moment. And after reading all these post about the horrible withdrawal that comes in waves and can last a long time, I am a bit nervous about trying at all. I dont know what to expect and Id hate to find out the hard way. Knowing about the waves does give me some relief. Had I known about them, I would have tried to stick it out in the past; saw them as the normal healing process. However, as soon as times get hard, I wanted the only life I ever knew, which is a life on Celexa. I wonder how much of this is withdrawal anxiety and how much of what we experience is "fear of the unknown". It feels like I am going into a gun fight without a gun. I havent been doing life without Celexa, my whole life. I was put on Celexa when I spent a summer depressed from a heart break and group of "mean girls". Now dont get me wrong, I am a sensitive, free spirit so women like me are often medicated. But I find that I take after my mom and am a very positive little bee but I also take after my dad and can think too much and worry. My parents are complete opposites and I got some of both. However I have no family history of mental health issues other than my grandfather being a racist, mean, angry piece of crap. Who knows what he would have been diagnosed with during these times. I was never allowed to meet him. Anyways, I wake up with anxiety. I wake up wondering how each day is going to go, not being on medicine. What scares me is that even though i only tapered over 2 months, it has been slightly easier than the other times which took 12 months. I don't know if it makes a difference but I live a much healthier lifestyle than I did before. I have been taking ALOT of magnesium. From what I read, we lose magnesium when we are stressed. And I knew tapering would be extremely stressful and I was experiencing alot of anxiety so I loaded up. I also have been cleansing my gut this past year with herbs and a special pro-biotic made for mental health. Did you know studies have shown that people without mental health issues have microbiota in their gut that people with mental health issues don't have?! So now they have probiotics that contain those microbiota. How cool! At least they are trying to figure it out! I am a bi of a science nerd. I also try to eat mostly whole foods. I eat a crap ton of high antioxidant foods. I don't often eat gluten, dairy or added sugar because I read it causes inflammation and who needs that! I also take Juice Plus which is just fruits and vegetables juiced down and then ground down into powder and put into a capsule. Its a sneaky way for your body to think you are eating tons of fruits and vegetables, which I still do. Anyways, my point is is that I am alot nicer to my body than I ever was before. And I am hoping it helps. Taking medicine daily at such a long age really made me feel out of control. But make good healthy decisions helped me gain some control back. My therapist told me that part of my problem is that my antidepressant was also my "teddy bear" or "baby blanket". It made me feel safe. And she is 100% right. After I had my son, I was so anxious, I couldn't sleep. And after I got back on Celexa, I started sleeping 3 days later. And I know it didn't help that fast but just the thought that I was taking it, made me feel better. And often times, when heading into a stressful situation, I would think, "Its ok. My antidepressants will get me through it". But now I don't have it. And now I am reading about so many people that go through such hard times after they get off. And it makes sense. I have been on it since I was 14!!!! I am 37 now!! Thats a long time. I did get off of it for about 3 years and those were the best 3 years of my life. I had anxiety but would laugh at it. I never got depressed. But 3 years later, I all of a sudden had a little mini panic attack and then stopped sleeping. I asked the doctor to put me back on Celexa and I asked for Xanax to help me sleep until the Celexa kicked in. I hadn't taken Xanax before but I heard it would help. Only took it for a month but I quickly got dependent on it because when I ran out, I stopped sleeping again and had a panic attack which caused me to go to the hospital. There they convinced me to stay so that they could get me to sleep! Well, if you cant sleep at home, you aint sleeping in a psychiatric ward. And it was an awful experience. Being told you cant leave and are basically locked up are incredibly traumatizing. This past year, I learned that the insomnia and nervousness started the week after I got shots of Steroids in my back and is often a side effect of Steroids for some people. Maybe if I had known that, maybe I would have been able to get through it and maybe I would be able to say I have been off of antidepressants for 6 years. Oh well, we live, and we learn. And we hope to teach others about our mistakes so that they don't make more. I believe people can be depressed for many reasons. Trauma, vitamin deficiencies, lake of exercise, poor diet, lifestyle, drug or alcohol use, etc. And I think their are many things to change or fix before resorting to medication but that is not the way the world works right now. 14 was young to be medicated but I know they are medicating children much younger than that now and that sucks. If all else fails, and ones quality of life is awful than thank goodness for medication! Thank goodness!!! BUT, it shouldn't be the first go to, like I know it is. So I am scared of the unknown. I am terrified. I am sad I didn't give my son a sibling because his mom couldn't on medicine. Id really like to do that for him. We just learned he will never have a cousin. I love him so much and want to give him more family and I want to mother another child. But like I said, after reading yalls post, I am wondering if that is a good idea because I don't know what is in store with me in the withdrawal process. Only time well tell, but I don't have that time of time.
  2. Hello Everyone, I was prescribed Trazodone 50mgs in March of 2020 for acute insomnia (i only took 12.5mg to 25mg in the evening before bed because I am a lightweight). I used it for a year because it seemed to work perfectly with my atomoxetine (for ADHD) which I have taken at night for more than 10years. The only odd thing was that it caused a slight bit of brain fog. Suddenly in June of 2021 it stopped working and I started waking after only 3hrs of sleep. I did try increasing the dose but it didn't work. I also starting taking my atomoxetine in the AM to see if that would help. The doctor prescribed me Hydroxyzine and while that worked to get me knocked out it has a really long half life and too many side effects and next day drowsiness. But it seemed to help me wean off of the Trazodone within a few weeks. I was fine off the Trazodone until about 6 weeks after I stopped taking it. The insomnia came back with a vengeance along with obsessive thoughts before bed. Through reddit and this site I discovered Magnesium. I take 200mg of Nature Made Magnesium glycinate taken 1 to 2 hrs before bed and for the past month it has helped me sleep 7-8hrs and I can fall back to sleep if I wake during the night. The sleep is not very deep but I was able to function. The problem is that the benefit of Magnesium Glycinate is starting to fade a bit. I still have nights where I wake after only 2 hrs of sleep and have to take a Trazodone. Unfortunately it doesnt help me get sleep when I wake during the night. It only helps me if I havent fallen asleep yet. The next night after I have taken Trazodone I can usually sleep. I can sometimes go 2 weeks without needing Trazodone. It's a vicious cycle. And to add to it, my atomoxetine which I used to take in the evening to help me sleep, now keeps me awake. I suspect it's because it acts on my NMDA receptor site. Magnesium also acts on that receptor and can cause an excitatory effect or calming effect depending on other variables. My thought is that the supplement and ADHD meds are interacting. Plus taking Trazodone for a year may have changed my brain chemistry. So my question is - Has anyone else had a similar issue? Any advice? I was thinking of re-instating Trazodone and trying to taper. AND maybe experimenting with different combinations of magnesium supplementation to help me sleep. I am desperate for a solution and completely at a loss. I have never had chronic insomnia before. I have only ever had acute bouts. So grateful for this site. Hope you all are well! Not sure how to add my details in signature but here they are 3/27/2020 started on 12.5-25mg of Trazodone for acute insomnia trouble falling asleep 6/4/2021 sudden onset insomnia (waking to early) 6/28/2021 tapered completely off Trazodone (doctor said it's fine to do that) July to Sept - took Trazodone PRN 9/25/2021 another bout of insomnia (trouble falling asleep or waking too early) 9/25/2021 started taking Magnesium glycinate 200mg 1-2 hrs before bed Oct- Nov- Magnesium working well 11/12/2021 - experimented a few nights taking atomoxetine in evening, magnesium closer to bedtime failed 11/19/2021 - 2 hrs of sleep on Magnesium Glyc - took 25mg of Trazodone PRN in middle of night, didnt work
  3. Hi all, I'm a new member here and I'm starting this introductory post as a recovery journal. I'm recovering from risperidone (aka risperdal) and tried magnesium to help with anxiety and overall disassociation. I took a 250mg pill yesterday after dinner and went to bed. Woke up with severe back pain. Anybody else have the same effect while starting magnesium? On the plus side, my mood feels a lot better and I've been feeling much more productive so this feels like a body/mind tradeoff.
  4. Hi, I am currently on Citalopram 20mgs daily and my GP has mentioned coming off as I have been 'stable' for some time. I have heard some people recommend magnesium supplements to prevent recurrence of depression but I just wondered which supplements in particular as I find my brain is a bit fogged by this drug. Fluoxetine gave me bad dreams, sertraline did not help my breathlessness which I think is due to anxiety. This is the third time I have been on medication so I foresee myself having a relapse. Thanks,
  5. For anyone who bought Vitacost Chelated Magnesium between Oct 22, 2010, and June 16, 2016, there has been a recall and you are entitled to a refund under a class action lawsuit! Please go to: http://www.vitacostm...6_final-web.pdf To file a claim which must be postmarked before 28 September 2016! I just stumbled onto this today while I was researching fish oils and ConsumerLabs. I probably bought a dozen bottles during that time, as hubby and I both take 2-3 tablets daily! There is only $360,000 available for settlement to be divided among claimants, but this is kind of flying under the radar. Additionally, VitaCost has re-arranged their "Order History" so you cannot call up how much you ordered of any one item, so we have to "trust them" to get it right. The reason for the recall is that the product, Chelated Magnesium , was listed as ALBIONĀ® magnesium glycinate and contained at least 60% magnesium oxide (which, as we know, is like chewing rocks to get your magnesium). SIX YEARS they mislabelled their product and sold the much cheaper oxide as glycinate! (I tried to upload the claim form, but it is "too large" for SA server. The link will take you there.) I no longer recommend VitaCost, nor will I buy from them myself. They really lost my trust big time on this one. Sure, they've fixed it, but what else didn't get caught?
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