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  1. I've had issues with acid reflux for years, treated with ranitidine. Ranitidine was taken off the market last year. I did try a couple of other medications but did not do well on them. In March 2021 I had an endoscopy. The GI doc said my stomach spasms and Mirtazapine would fix it. I would be on it for 6 months and should be fixed. I was pretty happy; I don't do well with other drugs used for reflux and none of them are a permanent fix. He started me on 7.5 mg and increased to 15 mg. At first it was my miracle drug. I had been getting a lot of nausea when I had no medications, and it immediately took the nausea away. And I had no side effects. But about two months later I started feeling out-of-it. I think it's called depersonalization...like things weren't real. (I've since read that this is a side effect for some.) It started quite suddenly. I called my doctor. He decreased me to 7.5 mg, then 1/2 of that. I even went off for a few days. On the 1/2 dose my nausea came back. Ultimately he increased me back to 7.5 mg. Going back to 7.5, the nausea and the depersonalization went away. I was good again for a couple of months again. Then the depersonalization came back. I cannot express how much I hate that symptom. The rest gets a little fuzzy; I lose track of time but in a nutshell, at the advice of doctors I've been off, back on, and off again. Every time I go off, a week or so later I get full of nausea and some fogginess and some depersonalization. I have found a doctor who listens and agrees it might be withdrawal, but he doesn't know for sure. With his support, I found a way to get ranitidine and it seems to me the reflux symptoms are better (no more heartburn, and the globus sensation has improved.) But could this actually be reflux or something else, or does it sound typical of withdrawal? A couple of things: I do better in the evenings, and sometimes even by later afternoon. Now and then I even feel close to normal before I go to bed but I dread bedtime, because the next day I have to start this over. Lately I've been declining but I have had periods where I've been better for a few days to a couple of weeks. Last time I felt good I was taking 7.5 mg every third day (per doctor's advice) and taking rantidine. But the depersonalization came back so I just quit the mertazipine altogether per doctor's suggestion. Next week I see my doctor again, but also a new GI doctor. Is it worth mentioning withdrawal to him or does this not sound like that? Since I do not do well on 1/2 of 7.5 mg, would that rule out withdrawal?
  2. Hello, first things first...iam from germany so my english might not be perfect, but will try to give my best. I have had problems with nausea and vertigo in situations like having dinner with strangers on a trip for a few years. First a few episodes a year, later (end of 2019/begin 2020) those episodes were more often and in other situations like when going to a party. I tried to control it with Diphenhydramin for about 4 months (25 to 50 mg every second day or so). It worked at first i guess, but wasnt a gamechanger. I stopped it in January/February i think. In my opinion thats where the situation got like out of control. I had some strange vertigo/nausea episodes at work and in university and my mood dropped, i felt depressed. I then went to psychiatric ER and got Mirtazapine (oh well....the beginning of the end). I researched the drug and found stories about withdrawal, after i took it about 2-3 times. So i tapered from 15 mg to 0 in about a month by eyeballing. 5 days after i got off i felt anxiety creeping up and i took mirtazapine again, again eyeballing about 7,5 mg up to 15. A week later hell broke loose.. I became agitated, had anxiety (was never my problem), no appetite at all, vertigo, nausea...well withdrawal. After reading about taper and all i tried to take close to 10mg every day (had no scale). A psychosomatic clinic was something a found and a few week later i could join. But of course i had to take 15 mg in clinic as withdrawal is not something doctors are aware of... I kind of stabilised on 15 mg (well i wasnt feeling well but nothing compared to "stage 1"). So after leaving the clinic i started my taper at 19th of july by dry cutting with a scale and a file. I was foolish again and made to big cuts and hold not long enough as you can see in signature ..i updosed from 8 mg to 10 (on 23th of september) mg after 7 days because of intense withdrawal symptoms. Holding there till today. Now i know that 10 % taper for 4 weeks (or slower) is necessary. But i want to get stable first, right now it doesnt feels like. I have windows and waves and had good and very bad days. So i guess holding is the best option? Iam not sure if my current situation is because of a dose variation? Of couse i read about tapering with a scale and try to be very precise, but right now iam weighting every tablet on its own (range from 148 - 158 mg) and calculate what 10 mg are for this specific tablet...should i maybe changing to average weight? (10mg variation from the tablets seems a bit much, bit its what it is) Switching to liquid is something i would like to do...from my own tablets. But i know the transition can flare up things so iam not sure if this is the right situation. Iam not stable right now... Not feeling well..... Thank you all very much for reading, SA is known in various countries and a big help to a lot of poeple! Greetings Nomandsland
  3. Hello all, I could use some help determining whats happening to me. Went to bed around 11pm and woke up around 2pm. Woke in panic around 6am to write an email, uncomfortable sleep (pain in ribs), headache, feeling like withdrawal but I haven't started tapering yet. Sorry for (TMI) but I had significant diarrhea earlier and havent had an appetite; slight ringing in my ears also. Can someone help with this? Thanks so much.
  4. I tried to taper off of Mirtazapine in March by skipping pills; I was not aware how dangerous this was at the time. My withdrawal symptoms were mild because I was lucky. I had some anxiety in April, but nothing major. I went cold turkey after my prescriber told me that I didn’t need to taper Mirtazapine. He also pressured me into taking Effexor, which caused me to develop severe full-body itching. I was taken off of the pills immediately because it was suspected that I was allergic to them. I suffered from severe withdrawal symptoms during the week where I wasn't taking any medication (sweating, diarrhea, anxiety, heart palpitations, shivering, lack of appetite, nausea, dizziness, flu-like symptoms, and insomnia). I tried to speak with my prescriber about tapering and withdrawal symptoms, but he insisted that everything I was experiencing was my ‘anxiety’ and put me back on Mirtazapine. I am now preparing to taper off of Mirtazapine properly. I came here to learn how to do this as effectively as possible.
  5. Hi I feel I am writing this too late as I have made many errors in my withdrawal from Mirtazapine and subsequent reinstatement but I only found this website and information recently. Perhaps you can still help me. In October, I tapered off from just under 1.5mg Mirt where i had been for several months following a slow taper from 7.5mg (18 months total time). The doctor told me this dose was too low to have therapeutic value but if I wanted to taper i should miss alternate nights, then 2 nights etc...and I should be off in a month. I did this but had insomnia on the missed nights but it seemed to settle. My sleep deteriorated though. In early December and exhausted, I was hosting a party and needed to sleep so I took a 1.5mg dose of Mirt for 2 nights only and slept. 6 days later, I had shocking vertigo and sickness and could barely move. Luckily, this passed in a few hours but it alarmed me and I vowed to stay away from Mirt. My sleep was deteriorating again and exactly 2 weeks later it went completely. Christmas was awful. I didn't really know what the problem was tbh but I didn't want to take any Mirt so I used Phenergan to sleep. After about a week, the Phenergan stopped working and without it I could not sleep at all so I reinstated Mirtazapine. The low dose worked and then didn't work so a week later I increased it to 7.5mg. I know now this was too large an increase but I was desperate. I saw a big improvement but it was still erratic so a week later I tried 10.5mg for 2 nights. This didn't make much difference so I went back to 7.5mg. By now, I had found this website and learned about waves and windows etc.. That next week, things improved but I had a couple of bad nights around day 4, which I thought was the dose change causing problems. Then the next few nights improved again, but last night and the night before I had about an hour and am feeling dreadful. I suppose my questions now would be: does this seem like windows/waves? Or could I have 'kindled'? I dont know much about this or when it would happen but what would I do if it is? I presume I stay at 7.5mg now? I presume it's too late and unwise to reduce this dose? This is a truly awful experience and I'm hoping to stabilise and taper slowly again. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I know I have probably done everything I'm not meant to do and I'm really paying for it. I wish I had never taken this drug and don't think I should have been prescribed it in the first place but that's another story.
  6. Ever since I had my first child in 1997 I started to have sleep disturbances, anxiety and constant worrying. In 2005 I was admitted to a psychiatry clinic. I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, given 30 grams of mirtazapine (Remeron) and 0.5 grams clonazepam (rivotril) ,now 1 gram, to control my condition. I was treated with medication such as fluvoxamine, quetiapine, cipralex, and seroxat but the only effective combination was mirtazapine and clonazepan. I also take cholesterol medication. I have been on this situation ever since. I want to try and lower the dosage and don’t know how I should go about is there a doctor recommended?
  7. Gilla999

    Gilla999: hello

    Just thought I'd post a quick intro post. I've been taking Mirtazapine since July after a bout of insomnia (not my first) which was so severe this time that my mental health deteriorated very badly and after a suicide attempt I was eventually hospitalised. Thankfully the Mirtazapine was the thing that eventually helped turn the corner with the sleep. After only a short time I knew I wouldn't want to be on it long term and started a quick taper pretty quickly. I figured as I had only been on it for about 3 weeks I would be fine to do a quick taper - more fool me! Gave myself horrific withdrawal and accepted I would need to do the slow taper. I've been tapering since then and am now down to 7.5mg, doing a 10% drop every 3 weeks. So far on that method I have managed to avoid bad withdrawal - a couple of icky days here and there but something that could equally pass as PMT or coming down with a cold, and nothing that seems to follow any set pattern. A world away from the horrific WD of a too-quick taper! It feels as though I've been tapering for forever, but I realise I still have a long way to go and am already extremely nervous about what happens in the Spring when I get down to the low numbers. My primary concern is avoiding rebound insomnia as I know from experience that when I get it, it often kicks off a cycle that can lead me to an extremely dark place, both physically and mentally. On the flip side I am desperate to be off of it because of the weight gain - from being a size 8 all my life to the size almost-16 I am now, my body doesn't feel like my own. Though I'm in a pretty good place right now I'm always interested to hear/read about others experiences and tips with tapering as the one thing I have learnt is that everyone is different!! Sending good vibes from me to all of those who have struggled with the tapering and withdrawal - it still staggers me that doctors really have little clue about how difficult it really is. Gill xxxx
  8. Hi everyone, Hey, first off -- found you guys after being referred by some fantastic individuals who are part of several Mirtazipine Withdrawal support groups on Facebook. Thanks so much for this site! As such -- AltoStrata, I've read a ton of your stuff already, in particular the posts about Windows/Waves, Mirtazipine tapering tips and, more crucially, the post about AD reinstatement (in the event of CT WD.) Like everyone here, I have a somewhat unique story, with a bit of a twist....perhaps you guys will find it intriguing, at least. Anyway -- my experience with AD's is actually fairly short, relatively (only the last year). After a successful cervical disc replacement surgery in July of 2018, I was told by several medical doctors that B vitamins were excellent for nerve regrowth/regeneration. Since I'd had badly pinched nerves prior to the surgery, I took them up on this advice and began to take a chewable B-complex vitamin every day....which turned out to be extraordinarily high potency. Within two weeks, I was developing strong painful tingling/stinging in my hands.....and after about five or six weeks, I had developed full-blown head-to-toe neuropathy --- all as a result of what turned out to be an overdose of Vitamin B6. (If you want an interesting read, look up "Vitamin B6 Toxicity"...) I DC'd the vitamins immediately, once it was determined what the issue was, but that was just the beginning of a long ride. Shortly after the vitamins were discontinued, the nerve pain symptoms actually got far worse, and I developed runaway panic attacks, as well as various autonomic nerve issues (tachycardia, insomnia) and bizarre nerve-related other issues (couldn't sense temperature properly, lost ability to sense where arms/legs are in space (proprioception), couldn't swallow properly, the list goes on....) In any event, Starting last November of 2018, I was Rx'd a menagerie of medications by several doctors (and these were all being taken concurrently!) to help with the burning nerve pain and also psychological trauma / insomnia issues. In order: * Gabapentin (initially 400 mg / day, eventually peaked at 1200mg / day) * Lexapro (10 mg / day) * Clonazepam (1 mg / night) * Mirtazipine (15 mg / night) The next three months were hellish. I ran out of adjectives to describe the pain that coursed through seemingly every cell in my body. But luckily....with time came healing. By Feburary I was well enough to return to work. I still can't quite believe what my body went through and was able to recover from. With the nerve damage healing largely behind me, over the course of the next 7 months I slowly (and successfully) tapered off of three of the four medications, with little or no withdrawal (apart from perhaps a day or so of noticing I felt perhaps a bit "tense" after the last dose of each medication.) In order of tapering: * Tapered off from Clonazepam (last dose March 4, 2019) * Tapered off from Lexapro (last dose July 8, 2019) * Tapered off from Gabapentin (last dose September 24, 2019) *** So here's where it all gets interesting (and relevant to this forum) --- *** My plan was to follow a similar careful taper off from Mirtazipine....but fate intervened and a poor decision was made. Ideally, I would have waited until after the upcoming holidays/New Year to do the taper from Mirtazipine....but after two late nights of being out to dinner with friends, I forgot to take my 15mg Mirtazipine two nights in a row. Once I realized what I'd done (two days later), I took a quick assessment of how I felt -- which was of course totally fine -- and I made the ill-informed decision to simply DC the Mirtazipine. Now, I should mention that my Psychiatrist had told me that it was perfectly fine to simply DC Mirtazipine as well as Gabapentin (no surprise to this community, I am sure), but I had still insisted on doing a taper for everything. Why I didn't follow through and do a taper with Mirtazipine, I'll never be able to fully qualify....but it was surely a combination of eagerness to be done with this "one last simple med" and also the Psychiatrist's solid assertion that there was no need to taper with Mirtazipine. AND OF COURSE - - 11 days after DC'ing the Mirtazipine, I went into bad withdrawal. Headaches, Gastric Upset, Insomnia, highly elevated heart rate, feeling of being totally "amped" as if I'd drank 3 pots of coffee, Panicked breathing ("air hunger"), all sorts of the stuff everyone here knows all too well. - 7 days after that (a total of 18 days since DC'ing the Mirtazipine), I reinstated at 25% of my original 15mg dose, or 3.75mg. A week later I felt quite a bit better. For several days I almost felt totally "normal" -- and sleep improved, heart rate went back down, things were on a solid track. This continued for perhaps four or five days --- but then after a particularly stressful couple of days, it all seems to have reverted significantly backwards into five or six days now of feeling terrible and getting worse and worse sleep each night. So here I am. It's now been 20 days since I reinstated at 3.75mg (25% of original dose)..... .......and I'm wondering what the most logical (and intelligent) thing to do is now. Ride this out? Consider an up-dose at some point? Thanks so much for your advice (and any criticism you wish to levy at me). I am here to learn and hopefully one day to be part of helping here as well.
  9. Hi, my signature basically says it all. I got into psychiatry over 2 years ago and got on seroquel and Mirtazapine for my depression & sleep problems. The opposite happened. I stopped sleeping & had severe adverse reactions. I could not stop sleeping & started to have akathisia & dyskinesia from the first tablet I took but continued to take it as I thought it was my depression getting worse or I thought I got food poisoning or something. Anyway... stopped CT both drugs at psychiatry after finding this site due to severe adverse reaction. No sleep for 1 month straight. Very acute symptoms for 3-4 months (about 20-30) What is left now is that I feel my brain is permanently on. I never get tired, have naps or sleep. Like the brain has no off switch. It's like A rubber band has been streched for over 2 years and two months but it didn't get back into it's position but stretches itself... Instead of going back into it's original form. Like You wake up and stretch it... you go to sleep and wake up and it is back into it's original form. This is my only symptom basically... I've read a few similar stories of people having similar experiences but it seems they are rather rare, maybe due to the fact that I C/Ted an antipsychotic? Or is it possible to have cortisol/adrenaline spikes for 2 years and 2 months off? (I feel like I have way more energy but in a toxic kind of way)
  10. I was on mirtazipine for 13 weeks which included a fast taper of 3.5 weeks from 30mg to 7.5mg then off. Never had insomnia in my life before this drug. Insomnia started when on 30mg and has just got worse and worse. Now 7 weeks off and can only get 2 hours sleep some nights. I am a very elderly woman Will it end. Psychiatrist says this is impossible. GP insisting i,must get some sleep so has prescribed zopiclone7.5mg gives me 3.5 hrs sleep. Terrible anxiety and panic attacks. It is ruining my life and my husband’s. At my age, will this ever end. Has anyone experienced insomnia and how long does it go on. I think anx would lessen if I could sleep naturally as I always did before Mirtazipine
  11. I want to know how to get off of this medication because I Dont like how it's making me feel it makes me feel so numb so I want out but I don't know how to. I've had this medication for 1/2 a month and I took it off and on during this time and now I'm worried that I might've ruin my nervous system from taking it at different times of the night .I don't know what to do My dad said just stop taking it but I know that's not safe at all I had went through withdrawal symptoms like around 3 days when I didn't take them which shows me to take it slow I guess I didn't take them again today but yesterday i did I only have 17 pills left I don't know what to do I'm really lost at this moment any advice would be nice thanks
  12. acp1 I was prescribed Mirtazapine 15mg by a nurse prescriber because I was unable to sleep and was having panic attacks at night. I was going through a really hard time having had 3 colleagues die within 5 weeks and then getting very ill with COVID 19. I have been taking the tablets for 3 weeks and have not been getting on with them. I have halved the dose over the last couple of days. I would like to stop taking it as I feel that I do not usually suffer with anxiety, insomnia or depression. I feel in a much better place now to deal with problems and I do not want any severe withdrawal symptoms. I have not been able to speak to my doctor about coming off the tablets as I have recently moved house and I am awaiting starting with a new GP. Any advise about short term use of Mirtazapine? How easy/ quick is it to stop?
  13. Hi Everyone . New member here and in need of advice if possible . I've been taking mirtazipine for just over 7 weeks for sleep issues which caused me anxiety. My doctor subscribed me sertaline which only after 3 dosed send me to extreme anxiety and took my anxiety from 3 too 100 . When back to my GP and he subscribed me mirtazipine 15mg ...I was on it for 4 weeks and although it helped a little with sleep ...didn't knocked me out all night like most and as I didn't feel any improvement as was feeling very groggy , brain fog etc...my GP advised to increase to 30mg which I've been on just over 3 weeks . I definitely don't think it's helping at all and I'm feeling pretty the side effects and half of the time I feel like a zombie ...sorry for the long post but my question would be how should I tamper of this medication as I was to get out of this medication. Do I need to tamper slowly even if I only took this medication for 7 weeks ? I would realy realy appreciate and information regarding this matter as I'm new antidepressants. Many thanks in advance
  14. Hi so this is my story I took magic mushroom which elevated my depression when I was 20yeard old. Every 3 month I used to get frustrated from life and go to a place where this drug is free. I had depression and anxiety before this which is why I started magic mushroom. At the age of 21 I thought that it's too expensive to go to places out of country and take it there. Why don't I take a pill which removes depression, that pill was modalert or if you like to call it Adderall or modafinil 200mg.i took it daily for two weeks and stopped abruptly. The withdrawal symptoms I got were horrendous. Brain zaps, fatigue, tiredness,mentally think a part of my brain is not functioning and etc.. this pill I took was on June , in 28 July I had a family holiday to Pakistan. In Pakistan I was still expericing really bad withdrawal symptoms and thought to myself that here is quite cheap for any type of treatment so I went to a neurologist. She recommended I take seroquel 25mg, rivotril and ginkgo biloba. It eased some brain zaps but it kept my mind blank like there was something blocking it. I then consulted with a online NHS gp who said that drug is for people who have schizophrenia. I then abruptly stoped that which gave me withdrawal symptoms of increased brain zaps and mental fog. Went to a psychiatrist in London who said I was having underlying depression, he gave me sertraline 50mg on October 1 2019. On the 8th it was upped to 100mg and in December 1st it was 200mg. The symptoms did decrease by 30% but I still had sleep like fatigue and and at night I can't sleep. So on January 2020 my doc recommended me a different tablet as I got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder which was mirtazapine . She said take 15mg for two weeks in the evening and 100mg sertraline in the morning.3rd week reduce sertraline to 50mg and increase mirtazapine to 30mg. 4th week: stop sertraline and continue with mirtazapine 30mg. Right now I'm in the 3rd day of the 2nd week. I She said if this dosent work then either we will change to a different tablet or in the patients opinion withdraw. The reason I took sertraline was to get rid of the brainzaps from seroquel and adderell now I'm digging myself a big hole in which they're trying to continually put me on meds. Yes my sleep is much better mirtazapine but I want no part of these drugs. I need your opinions guys I know this is a forum where there are patients not doctors but each and every professional opinions holds my gratitude.
  15. Hello SA, SleepyMagee here. I'm a first-time caller, long-time listener, and I've been meaning to do this for such a long time. I'm sure you all know how hard it is to get started, especially when your story is a long and painful one. But I feel like I'm ready. The following will be an account of my history with mental illness and how the medication I was prescribed made a bad situation worse. I'll try and keep it as short as possible, for all our sake. I hope updates and eventually a recovery story will follow. So here goes... In September 2009 a relationship ended. It had been on and off for most of that year, and really isn't particularly important except that precipitated my first bout of serious depression. I was 26, had very little direction in life, had been working dead-end jobs and really didn't care much. But when that relationship went south and I started to feel bad, I realised that I hadn't been particularly happy for a long time. The relationship ending was just the last straw. The suffering I felt was new and scary, but I got through it. I saw my GP and was offered antidepressants but decided against taking them. After a few months I started to feel better and exactly one year after I first noticed that something was wrong I enrolled in college and felt pretty good. School was fun and stimulating, but there was always a fear that I would fall back into the darkness, and when I had a dip in my mood about a year in, I went to my Dr and asked him to prescribe me something. Looking back I don't feel like I needed the pills. But I was really worried that the depression would get worse and it would affect my work. I really wanted to finish my studies and do well. So I ended up taking 150mg of Sertraline for six months and I have to say, it was pretty good. My mood improved after a couple of months and the side-effects were minimal. The worst issue was a terrible case of the runs which lingered for about six weeks before disappearing. I had no issues coming off the drugs and I finished college, passing with flying colours. Between 2011 and 2013 I was on and off Sertraline twice, for about six months each time, and had no real problems. Then, in early 2014, I felt my mood had started to dip a little and so I knew what I was going to do. I went back to the GP and asked for medication, but I thought I was clever. The old Sertraline had given me that pesky Diarrhoea, and I would like to avoid that if at all possible. Surely the answer was to just try a different medication? I'd be back to my old self in no time and avoid the runs as a bonus. Simple, no? No! This is the point in the story were everything starts to go wrong and it's the watershed moment. I haven't felt right since then. The Doc prescribed Fluoxetine (Prozac) 20mg and I duly took it. Within a couple of weeks I could tell that something was wrong. I started to feel very uncomfortable in my own skin- itchy, agitated, jumpy. It was very strange. I also started to have trouble sleeping. After a month or so I went back to the GP and I don't remember how the exchange went but somehow I came away with a prescription for 40mg of the drug. As time passed I felt more ill until I realised that what I was experiencing was anxiety. Eventually the anxiety progressed and turned to panic. I had my first panic attack at 3 am one night and it was caused directly and completely by the medication. I had never had any issues with anxiety before taking that drug and the only time I've had it since is when I have introduced new medication or adjusted the dose of medication I'm on. It's never been as bad as it was at that time though. At the same time I was so activated that I was getting just 2-3 hours sleep a night and working full time. I remember telling my girlfriend at the time I was too tired to go see her after work. When she got upset I agreed I would head over to her place, but when I got there she put me straight to bed. She said I looked like a corpse and her apologies were profuse! In September 2014 things had gone too far, and I was falling to pieces. I had missed so much work over the past six months that I couldn't take it anymore and quit my job. I haven't worked since. Shortly after that I was finally taken off the Fluoxetine and went straight on to Mirtazipine. You'll have to forgive my inability to remember how long I took to updose/downdose for these meds- it was a long time ago and my memory has been effected by the drugs (note: there is no recognition from the Doctors I saw that my anxiety and continued depression may have been caused by horrible crap they were giving me. I however, was starting to suspect.) Mirtazipine was prescribed because of my difficulty sleeping, and boy did it do the trick. 45 minutes to 1 hour after my dose I was nodding off. Once I fell asleep I was dead to the world for 10 hours solid. Pretty great? Eh, no. No matter how long I slept, I woke up feeling like I'd hardly slept at all. I couldn't focus, felt 'fuzzy' in my head, was always tired and was completely numb. I was basically a zombie. I had originally hoped that I would get back on the employment horse pretty quickly after my Fluoxetine experience- I was even told by the company I left to get in touch when I felt better- but I was no more functional on the Mirtazapine than I was on the Fluoxetine. I have never felt so physically exhausted in my life, and have never recovered my energy. To this day I wonder about which was worse/more damaging. I suffered more on the Fluoxetine, but on the Mirtazipine I lost any semblance of being a functional human being. Pick your poison. I suspect that a combination of the 2 drugs effects, one so quickly after the other, has done the long term damage. So I spent a year on Mirtazapine, sleepwalking through a living nightmare. I barely left the house and when I did, I was shattered for days afterward. I think it was around this time I began to insist that the pills were making me sick, and yet I was still convinced to take the maximum dose (45mg) and made to doubt my own instincts. My symptoms, I was told, were obviously depression and an adjustment in the dosage may be all that was needed to fix all my problems. I'm slightly ashamed that it took me another couple of years to admit the truth to myself. So my relationship ended, I had to move out of the home I shared with my partner and move back in with my parents at 32 years of age, and had no quality of life to speak of. But I finally got off the Mirtazapine. It was hell. My anxiety returned with a vengeance and I had the worst insomnia I've ever had. It genuinely felt like I was physically dependent on the stuff. Apologies, I can't recall how long it took and how often I dropped the dose, but I do remember that by the end I was nibbling tiny portions of a pill every few days just to get some kind of sleep. At the same time I began to take Sertraline again because my Doctor still couldn't believe that all the problems could be caused by the medication. I doubted enough myself to allow it, but part of me knew that I shouldn't be replacing the Mirtazapine. At the very least I feel like it may have ameliorated some of the symptoms of withdrawal to have something else working on my serotonin. If I had gone completely CT off the Mirtazapine I may have gone insane. Although the most pernicious symptoms passed after I ditched the Mirtazapine, I never recovered in any meaningful sense, probably because I moved on to another drug and my system never had time to recover. By this time I feel like my body was just so beaten up and my nervous system so damaged that a careful, slow taper was needed, but the fun was far from over. I made one attempt to get off medication completely in 2016, but failed, but in 2017 I managed it. It was, however, a disaster. I dropped from 150mg of sertraline to nothing in about six weeks. I was assured that this was a conservative approach to tapering. It wasn't, but I soon started to feel better. June and July of were pretty good and I started to feel like my energy was returning. I thought I was free and clear. In August I began to feel ill and depressed. By mid September, six months after my final dose of Sertraline, I was almost catatonic and competely suicidal. I lay in bed all day and formulated a very specific plan to end my life. Somehow, in late September, I made the most difficult call I've ever had to make. I called my sister and told her what was happening. She took me to the Doctor and from there I was referred to my local mental health services. Within a few days I was back on medication - Vortioxetine 5mg, then 10mg after 1 week). At this point I had the epiphany I needed to admit to myself fully that the medication had ruined my life. The standard line is that the medication will take 2-4 weeks to have an effect. Within a few days of taking the vortioxetine I felt much better. Not weeks, days. Bingo! This was NOT depression. It was withdrawal syndrome. The dose was increased to the maximum of 20mg a few weeks later and at this point I didn't fight because I was so happy that I didn't want to kill myself anymore. I have to be honest now, and it might be something that isn't heard much on these forums - the Vortioxetine was... ok. There were no new major side-effects, and it improved my mood (undoubtedly because withdrawal was terminated), but the rest of my problems sort of just hung around. I was tired all the time, my sleep was disturbed and broken, I had occasional anxiety, I felt numb, I was cognitively compromised (confusion, poor memory, poor focus) and felt generally ill and weak almost all the time. But at least I wasn't depressed. So I formulated a plan. I would take my time, stabilise, educate myself and prepare for the end goal, my final tapering and withdrawal from the medication. And this time I was determined to do it for good. SA has been invaluable for mesince then. I began to taper in June18. I went from 20mg to 10mg overnight. No problems. In September I went from 10 mg to 5mg. No problems. In January this year, I believe it was the 5th, I stopped taking the medication. No problems... for 2 months. And then withdrawal began. I am almost 7 months free of the medication now, and the short version of the story is that things are going ok. Not great, not terrible, but ok. I'm think I'm about where I expected to be. I guess I'll keep you updated if I can as my recovery progresses, but this isn't the time or place. But I will say this- the waves and windows are REAL, folks! So, thats the end of my sad (and very, very long) story. If you made it this far, thanks for reading and don't be afraid to ask me anything. Sleepy
  16. I have been on and off different anti-depressants for years. I was on Effexor for many years. (I can't offer specific dates on many things as many holes are there.) I went on a trip in 2015 to Uganda and met a man with horrible trauma. He was being weaned off the antidepressant they had him on for 9 months. I asked if they ever left people on longer and the response was, "No. You have them on it short term and work with them extensively, giving them the tools to overcome. Then bring them off and work alongside them until they are ready to move on." I thought of all the 15 minute visits here in the US with a Psychiatrist, different ones over the years and how the only "tool" given me was a medication. The recheck visits seemed like a way to keep the money rolling in. Only 2 of the many I saw seemed to really care. One got sick and had to retire, the other moved away. I had also been to plenty of counseling over the years. Never did I feel like anyone actually came alongside me and helped me to live. At least not from the professionals. I may have gotten some good nuggets of information but the people over the years that have genuinely loved on me in spite of myself have had the greatest impact. After this information, I came home and began to research. I knew from prior experience that none of the doctors I know of would encourage, know how, or help me withdraw. So I began on my own. It took 2 1/2 years to withdraw from the Effexor. I let my body guide me as to how fast or slow I could go. It was a very slow process and when I would feel symptoms, I would slow it further. I have been off of the Effexor for over a year. I was also on Mirtazapine for sleep. I took 1/4 of a 7.5 mg tablet for years. How many I do not know. Unfortunately, I did not do my due diligence with this one as I thought it was such a tiny dose that it would be no big deal. I did not take into account how long I had been on it, or the fact that I just came off the Effexor. I was probably totally off of the Effexor for a couple of months at the longest when I began the Mirtazapine withdrawal. (I would NOT recommend this to anyone!) I couldn't really cut the pill any smaller than it was so I started skipping days until I was down to 3 nights a week. Then decreased further. I seemed fine, until about 4 days after I totally stopped and was out of the medication. I went into full withdrawal at that point. I had already leveled with my employer about the situation of Effexor withdrawal shortly after he hired me. (Not a conversation I wanted to have but knew I could be "off" some days.) Being in a natural health care field, he was understanding. When I had to approach him again, this last year because I was no longer sleeping and re visit the same conversation only with a different medication, he was still understanding. He referred me to a place that has helped me with the detox and I am still being treated there. It has been long, it has been hard and I wish I would have found the "Beyond Meds" site sooner than I did. I think I would have done it differently, however, there are a number of reasons I needed to get off sooner rather than later. The symptoms are still too big and I have felt so alone until finding the "Beyond Meds" site which is how I found this site. Now I see there are many like me and it has helped so much to know someone else understands and that I am not crazy. Trying to explain what I am living with to someone else is maddening as they look at me like I am crazy. My husband keeps insisting that I need to go back on medication, but the natural place I am treating at said that the medication is the reason my adrenals are in the state they are in and to never go back. I guess what I need is encouragement that this will get better from people that actually live with what I am living with. The disassociation is so hard and this whole thing has brought up truama's from my past that I thought were long put to rest. Now I am wrestling with them again like they happened yesterday. The weight loss and muscle loss needs to stop too. I am eating but still losing weight and my husband comments on that too which causes stress. Then there is the lack of sleep and utter terror that can hit me at any time. I have had to be honest with my employer about that as well since some of the terror is around him. It is undefinable and there is no reason for it but I can have a 4 alarm fire alarm go off at any moment of the day with no fire in sight! My life feels like it has been flipped upside down and I am slowly trying to piece together who it is I am supposed to be but go so derailed all those years ago by medication. I may not know dates but I can tell you that I have been married for almost 31 years and I have been on antidepressants for at least 25 of those years. I am desperately praying I will not be in this for as many years as some I have read. It feels unbearable.
  17. Hi all, I recently completed a taper of Valium over the Feb - Sept 2019 time period via a daily liquid microtaper (sooo glad to be done with this!), but from my siggy, you can see I am also currently on Lexapro and Mirtazapine (both of which I have been on now for around a year). I would like to taper off of both of these (not the same time, but lexapro first, mirtazapine second) over the coming months and am just looking for more information from those who have successfully walked this path before me. If anyone is tapering a benzo, I am an open book regarding my experience and what has helped me (fish oil and kefir are the two supplements that helped me the most, by a mile). I am wondering if there is a way I can taper my antidepressants in a similar manner - very very slowly, gradually, and consistently, but also a pace that is based on symptoms / experience as opposed to a pre-set path. Thankfully, none of these are controlled substances, and I have a doctor that is very supportive of working with me, so I am all ears to this community and look forward to joining and learning in advance of my remaining tapers. Thanks, Jim
  18. Tappered down over 2 mnths from 15mg-0.46mg been stopped 2 days now and eyes and head hurt, feel ok not up or down,sleep been ok so far,im aware its in system till day 8 any tips on how to push through,i hate this brain fog x
  19. Hi all. Long time lurker, thought I’d finally join in. Age =30, Male. Straight to business: Had what you might call a nervous breakdown after quitting my job and also dropping out of University mid 2016. I was having suicidal thoughts, disordered thinking and I stopped sleeping. - Started on a low dose of Valium for 2 weeks to help sleep. This unfortunately exacerbated my depression, anxiety, insomnia, agitation. - started on Lexapro. Again, made my symptoms worse. Didn’t sleep for a week straight. Yikes. - finally prescribed seroquel 25mg. Took it before bed for 1 week. Had 1 week break. Took it again for 1 week. Calmed me down, gave me decent sleep. Didn’t touch it again. - Finished up the 6 months course of lexapro (can’t remember the dose but it was the lowest you can be clinically prescribed). - Afterwards, suffered withdrawal insomnia and anxiety/agitation, doc prescribed 7.5mg mirtazapine nightly. - finished up the mirtazapine after 9 months. Went through 3 months of hell to finally get to 0mg. Drug free for roughly 1.5years so far. I had a LOT of withdrawal symptoms getting to where I’m at now. I’m happy to discuss these so do hit me up. Mirtazapine withdrawal was incredibly difficult. Current state: - Poor short term memory recall (this is slowly getting better) - Chronic tension headache. This is my number 1 gripe. Sometimes better sometimes worse, always low level. Mostly pressure/ache forehead along hat-line but can be top of head. Started 1-2 days into mirtazapine and hasn’t gone away since. - General anxiety (worse in morning, better in evening). - Low stress tolerance - Difficulty with speech, wrong order or words, stumbling over words. If my headache is bad my speech is usually bad as well. - Brain fog - Sleeping pretty well surprisingly. Usually get my 8 hours. - starting to notice photosensitivity. Bright lights in shopping malls in particular cause me to squint a lot. what I’ve tried: Getting a dog - highly recommend. My dog is my best friend. Jaw/Head/Neck/Shoulder dry needling - this works to relieve my tension headache but only temporarily. I carry a lot of tension in my jaw. Breathe right Nasal strips - really helped my sleep and reducing severity of my headache. Thyroid testing - all results within normal range. Chiro - helped loosen up my neck and back but no discernible difference in my tension headaches. Both eyes checked by optometrist - excellent vision Running 3-4 times per week Jiu Jitzu 2 times per week Hot yoga 1 times per week Future: - have just completed a sleep study, based on the improvement I had with headache with the nasal strips. Possibly have sleep apnoea & bruxism. - acupuncture - thinking about having a weekly acupuncture session to relieve muscle tension for my headaches instead of weekly Acupressure massages. - work hard on improving personal relationships. A final note. The fact that I was on Seroquel really bums me out and I attribute most of my current symptoms to it. Despite it effectively saving my life at that time I really really regret taking it Reading about the effects of it in various websites/research papers upsets me a lot still to this day. Anyway, big ups to this website. I couldn’t have tapered and ultimately came off mirtazapine without it. Just reading everyone’s stories gave me the determination to get drug free. If anyone has any thoughts on tension headaches in particular would love to hear from you.
  20. I recently discontinued Seroquel 150mg (prescribed for agitated anxiety and insomnia), and now on Trazodone 250mg and Mirtazapine 30mg. I had been on Seroquel since Sept. 2018 . I feel awful - sleeping less, agitated, angry, depressed, don’t want to get out of bed, lack focus and hard to think straight. I feel dumber and want to avoid. Any insights on how long it may last or how to make it easier? I’m concerned that none of the meds have really helped me with anxiety/depression beyond getting some sleep. I am doing therapy, EMDR, exercise and meditation. I feel like a weird version of myself and don’t want to be around people. I get feeling hopeless about feeling better or like myself again.
  21. Hello everyone, I'm in desperate need of some help and advice. I have been on Amitriptyline for 3 and half years at a dosage of 100mg, this helped me to sleep because of anxiety. Exactly 4 weeks ago I went to see my GP as my anxiety has been increasing. They suggested trying Mirtazapine. So for the first week my Amitriptyline was dropped from 100mg to 50mg, them for the second week it was dropped from 50mg to ZERO. Then I went straight onto 30mg of Mirtazapine. During all this I have had the worst time ever, I have not slept during these 4 weeks, complete insomnia! and flu like symptoms! And my body feels like it's been hit by a bus. I have lost faith in my GP surgery as I get different information from each doctor and they dont seem to care at all, they never explain things clearly enough and had I known all this I would never have taken the medication in the first place. Can anyone offer any help or advice, I'm desperate?! Will the insomnia get better? I'm at the point of stopping the mirtazine and just going back to 100mg of Amitriptyline. 😕
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