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  1. Hi everyone, I am new here and I am desperate to get well. I was on Prozac for 10 years and stoped very easy. Three months I was feeling great but some major changes in my life made me hit rock bottom in March 2021 and was put back on Prozac 40 mg and klonopin 1.25mg. I decided to stop after one month and went into insanity, emergency rooms and but back on Lexapro 5mg to 10 mg and klonopin .25mg as needed and then decided to stop again after one month. I ended up with the worst panic attack from withdrawals and shaking,not eating, lost 15 pounds and ended up in hospital. They kept me 12 days on Paxil 40mg and Quietapine for sleep and 1mg Ativan. Was feeling great and came home just to start all over and ended up in the hospital again. I was put on 100mg Zoloft, 300x 2 a day Depakote,1.5mg Ativan and 15mg Mirzaten I was great for a month and I reduced myself the dosage to no benzodiazepines, no Depakote, 25mg Sertraline and 7.5 Mirzaten. I took 0.1mg clonidine to regulate my blood pressure for three weeks. I am finished, I am bed ridden, crying, surge of adrenaline, shaking. I am taking 0.5mg Ativan and I am calm till I go to sleep. Every morning I am waking up with anxiety. I am at the end of my ropez I am planing to go to a psychiatrist tomorrow and see what I can do to stabilize. How can I get off the 7mg mirzaten I am now without feeling this mess. I cannot keep a job now. I took my 20 years old son from Canada and moved at my parents in Romania and we suffer here because we cannot adapt. My son will leave in couple weeks back to Toronto but I am not able to go in this state of mind. I am unstable. Help!
  2. hope for improvement- very difficult time- not sure pssd or protracted withdrawal or both i am a 29 year old female who teaches kindergarten and loves my family and puppy. I would really like to feel like myself again. basically I was on and off Lexapro 5 and sometimes 10 mg the last two years. As well as Xanax or Benadryl few nights a week to sleep. A few months on, stopped due to sexual side effects, those always went away and then I went back on due to severe anxiety. Longest period I was on them was January 2021 through July 2022. Then a month off and picked back up in August 2022 through November 22. I had the classic withdrawal symptoms of brain zaps lethargy and headache each time, some times worse than others. This last time I was on Wellbutrin as well simultaneously and didn’t notice it being as uncomfortable. Then I went to start taking a few doses of 5mg Lexapro in February due to anxiety but didn’t continue due to sever genital numbness that went away I thought. I stayed on Wellbutrin until end of February then stopped. Noticed intermittently some sexual side effects like slight numbness a few times and delayed orgasm. But no other issues and felt great and like myself. took some 5htp supplements for anxiety. Then beginning of May I notice I feel depressed, mood is low, gaining weight, headache, easily upset, little arousal and delayed orgasm. Ask to go back on Wellbutrin and immediate boost in everything- feel hyper sexual, etc. but big bouts of severe anxiety and panic about health and safety and job. cue more panic about why this big difference in sexual functioning and lots of researching, stop Wellbutrin, fall into crippling anxiety about pssd- psych prescribed low dose buspar which I took only a few doses, Xanax sparingly. since late May I’ve stopped everything. It was awful at first. Then things seemed to be getting better emotionally and sexually for a few weeks. Now they seem worse! I have no energy, even less sensation down there, feel anhedonic now which I didn’t before, and like I can’t get out of bed. I used to love poetry and now it just isn’t the same. Emotionally blunted and just overall very blah. I’m singly and going to be 30 soon and always went crazy for handsome men, and now it’s just not happening. Nothing seems to get me excited sexually or otherwise. Sometimes I am able to cry and emote strongly and other times I’m not. I have insane insomnia sometimes with akathasia where I am very restless and move my legs and toss and turn continuously. Perpetual headache. Eyes hurt. Occasional tinnitus. Sometimes dpdr. Anxiety turned to severe depression now. Sometimes when I can convince myself things will pass and get better and I can have an enjoyable day. But that is getting harder. i read the pssd forums and there are some recoveries but everything out of Dr. Healy is so permanent and soul crushing. I am looking for help and hope. The SD is not even the concern anymore, I want to feel excited and happy and energetic again. Is there hope for me?
  3. Hi! Long story short I already screwed up my brain, I need urgent help I was on escitalopram and trazodone on 2017 (8 months 10mg, 4 months 50 mg), went cold turkey because I couldnt get an appointment, major depression but nothing else 2021, alcohol withdrawal went back to trazodone 50-100 mg up and down (didnt know about kindling or withdrawals) until a lot of neurological issues started to appear, I was on 100 mg for almost 3 months and then cut to 50, never reinstated more and was left suffering for 6 months, then tried to completely wean off and went down to almost 20 mg and then off, had a massive withdrawal because it was way too fast, I reinstated to 25mg but felt more or less and went to 50 the next day (probably more kindling ), and now I am having an absolute adverse reaction (2 nights since reinstatement) should I go back to 25mg, should I stay on the 50, whay should I do, I am in utter hell, I have burning skin all over please help
  4. I'm sure this is a very common question, but I couldn't find an answer. I may have missed it. I live in San Francisco and I am wondering how I can find a psychiatrist or other doctor who specializes in tapering antidepressants. Thank you.
  5. Hi there. I am female, 41 years old, married with an almost 18 year old. I was diagnosed in 2018 with anxiety, depression and BP2. After my diagnosis I started to see a Therapist and Psychiatrist regularly. I realized I have dealt with these mental health issues my whole life and figured medication would be my saving grace. I was wrong. They made me a zombie and I was constantly sleeping. I had a suicide attempt in late 2017 and that is what started my experience with medication. I was in-patient for 9 days and came home with an abundance of new medication (please see signature for meds). I thought this would be the right step in the right direction for me. I had another close call with suicide in late 2019 and was subsequently hospitalized for that as well. Fluctuating between depression, BP2, hypo mania and anxiety was exhausting. Husband and I decided we wanted to try for another baby so my OBGYN suggested certain drugs be out of my system, hence coming off of them. I had been wanting to stop my meds anyways because I was tired of feeling numb. Psychiatrist took me off of my Depakote cold Turkey on May 19, 2022 and I decided on June 22, 2022 to come off the rest except my Buspar. June 22, 2022 was the day my IUD came out so it was the best time to end my meds as well, against my Psychiatrists wishes. So far the withdrawals have been probably run-of-the-mill (i.e. insomnia, nightmares, headaches, irritability, sweating, dizziness, body aches). I’m taking it one day at a time and trying to rest as much as possible when I’m feeling awful (like right now, while I’m typing this).
  6. Hello. I have experienced extreme hypersensitivity to medications, supplements, and foods (almost everything) since the end of 2021. This was precipated by the trialing of two mast cell activation syndrome medications -- cromolyn sodium and xolair -- and abrupt discontinuation of cymbalta. (I had been diagnosed with a histamine intolerance and appeared to improve upon the cromolyn, before ultimately flaring too severely on it to continue. I was only ever stable on it at extremely low doses, but this stability did not seem to last.) Upon introducing the cromolyn sodium, I noticed some increased sensitivity to medication, that ultimately worsened once I tapered off of it. Then, following an injection of 75 mg of xolair at the end of October 21, I lost my tolerance to all medications and supplements. For a while, I retained oral liquid famotidine, but I eventually lost this too. Then, as the xolair wore off, I started reacting to more and more foods, eventually reacting to everything. Directly after the xolair injection, I began reacting to the 60 mg of cymbalta that I had been taking for several years. I abruptly discontinued the cymbalta because the reactions were so severe. Now I wonder if my hypersensitivity reactions were worsened by the discontinuation of the cymbalta. My immunologist believes that my current symptoms/reactivity are nervous system-mediated, but she does not know how to treat them. She has suggested that medication to calm the nervous system/nerves, such as a benzo, gabapentin, or tricyclic antidepressant, might play a role in treatment, but she is unsure. I am obviously wary of using medication to stabilize, and I react in some form to everything I try. Has anyone found anything to help manage or treat the hypersensitivity reactions? I struggle to eat, and my symptoms without medication are truly awful. Is the suggestion of using a medication to treat hypersensitivity unreasonable? (I cannot tolerate any mast cell medications or antihistamines.)
  7. Hello, I’m new here and would like some advice on how to taper off these medications. I’m currently taking Seroquel (300mg) Depakote (1,750 mg) and Klonopin (1.0mg) Thank you! - Chris
  8. Good afternoon everyone, I was misdiagnosed with GAD when I was 16, I am 36 now. I found out through an incredible therapist (who unfortunately passed away about a year into our sessions), that I struggle with OCD and Panic Disorder. I have been on SSRI's or SSNRI's since I was 16. I struggled with alcohol from about 23 to 28 but also remained on the medication. I am also prescribed Clonazepam. The prescription is for 2 doses a day of 1 mg. I have NEVER taken it as such. When I am at my best I am taking 0-3 per month. Right now and at my worst I am on 1 every other day. Being a recovered alcoholic being on this medication scares the crap out of me. I started to wean off the SSRI I am on now about two years ago. I was at 80mg and am down to 10mg. I have been able to get to this point fairly easily, with extremely mild side effects. I am definitely having a VERY hard time going from 10 - 0. I have an appt. set up with my pcp if I can get a 5mg prescription. Right now I am doing 10mg every other day... I will be changing that today and leveling back off at 10mg/day as I figure out the appropriate course of action. I was directed to this site as a great place to start. I am looking for help and I do not think the PCP's or Psychiatrists are actually learned enough to direct me appropriately. Thank you, Sean
  9. Hello and thank you all for existing! The information you share here is very precious and I deeply appreicate all the effort the site members put into it. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD due to childhood abuse at the beginnig of 2021. I have spent many years working on myself, be it through therapy, reading, listening to lectures etc, all the good stuff. Since the pandemic had been taking an additional toll on me, I asked my therapist are there medications that could help with the symptoms, them mainly being depression and irritability. I was reffered to a psychiatrist that gave me Zoloft 50mg and told me that if I am able to, I should take it no longer than six months. I did, and it was fine. One of the upsides was that my mind was a lot more quet, I was more stable and less dysphoric (im *****) but the donwsides were weight gain, lack of libido and reduced imagination. Being an illustrator that was an issue for me so I knew that the meds were going to be a temporary thing. Like we agreed on, the doc told me to take half a dose for a month (December) and then stop. I did this, got bad withdrawl, and then tried again with reducting the half to half and going slowly for another month, so I took my last dose in February. I had some itchiness, nausea, mood swings but it was ok. I took some Reishi and Lions mane tintures and vitamins. I was ok in March, the withdrawl was bearable, but in April it suddenly got worse. I did not get my period though I had pms symtoms. I began having (tw warning ahead) self harm urges and suicidal thoughts that is not typical for me. I feel like they come from being overwhelmed rather than really wanting to die. I feel a lot of anger, grief, dispair, I cry a lot and feel like there is no hope, even though I objectively have a okish life. I am isolating from my friends since I dont feel like I can talk about much besides how bad I feel. My partner has been a great support but theres not much he can do. I rationally know these feelings are probably a reaction to stopping the meds, but their intensity is overwhelming and it hard to navigate my everyday life. At moments it feels like mu nervious system is on fire. My psychiatrist gave me no warning about this, and I dont really trust her anymore since I would have been able to handle this better if someone told me. I am in the process of getting another shrink but I am weary of the idea of taking up another antidepressant since this is so intense. I would appreciate if any advice, or just hearing similar experiences since this feels so damn lonely. Thanks for taking the time to read my post! Hope you all are doing well today!
  10. Hello all, I have been browsing the site and thought i would now try introducing myself and asking the community here for any advice on next steps. About me - My name is Joe, i live in the UK just outside London. My mental health Journey started in February 2020, when i suffered Panic Attacks, followed by severe general anxiety and depression. I was initially given 40mg of Propranolol to help with the Panic Attack episodes. Then 50mg Sertraline for anxiety and depression. These medications helped me stabilize but not improve. i Also had 10 sessions of CBT, which included EMDR Therapy to help my deal with previous Trauma and to disassociate certain situations with Panic Attacks etc. After my dosage was increased twice up to 150mg with little to no effect, i was switched to 20mg of Citalopram in December 2020. I can honestly say Citalopram changed me for the better, i had almost no side effects. I gradually improved to a point where i was enjoying life again, my sex life improved to a point where it was better than i could remember. I had almost no re-occurrence of Panic like symptoms, plus my general anxiety and depression had improved dramatically. I even got Married while taking this mediation (Oct 2021). Previously i was petrified about my Anxiety ruining the day, but i had no problems on the day and couldn't believe how calm and collected i was. Now on to the issue - Because i felt so confident and was in such a good place, On December 1st i dropped to 10mg, and on 1st January i stopped altogether. I soon after experienced Post SSRI Sexual Dis-function (Premature Ejaculation, Loss of Libido and attraction) this quickly expanded to general emotional numbness. I felt disconnected from life, work and my Wife. i was still able to function correctly (go to work etc) but was not enjoying anything like i was before. Around 10 days ago, quickly and suddenly Anxiety/Panic symptoms stated again, i started obsessing about my breathing again (problem i had after my initial panic attacks). I have had to leave work multiple times, i feel overwhelmed and panicky when i feel either trapped or isolated (at work, stuck in traffic, in public). I experience chest pains and stiffness all over. I am also full of regret and negative thoughts, i feel scared and im obsessively worrying about this downward spiral and the impact its having on my health and my relationship with my Wife. I have gone from such a high, to a massive low. I'm seeing a psychiatrist next Tuesday. After much reading on here i feel like i have screwed myself over by trying to do something which i thought was good, stopping the medication!! My initial questions for anybody, although any input at all is appreciated - Given the fact that i tolerated Citalopram very well, Should i start taking it again? in the hope it will help like it did before, and then attempt to taper much much more slowly (my GP has already suggested starting a 10mg dose again). However i am concerned this may compound the problems of PSSD even further. - Any thoughts on whether this may be a relapse of symptoms or simply SSRI withdrawal? - Does anybody have experience with PSSD after stopping Citalopram, and how they dealt with this? Thank you all so much.
  11. Day six of zero Zoloft. I do not feel better or worse. Just wondering how others have proceeded. My psych wants me to start Cymbalta right now, even though she said it really does not meet my criteria. Looking to see if others have had experience with this and how you went forward. Thanks all. J
  12. Hi all. I'm a seasoned pro at taking SSRIs, I guess; I've been on various doses of fluvoxamine for about 30 years. I'd like to stop and fear it isn't possible. I have lived with OCD all my life; and when I began fluvox, it helped remarkably. But all these years later, I wondered if it were like a placebo. So, about two years ago, I consulted with my doctors and decided to taper off. I was on 75mg. It was fairly easy going down to 50; but I kept going down by 5mg/week, only to discover that going down 5mg from 75 and going down 5mg from 50, to 25 is a different matter. Once I got to 25, I got a kind of wild anxiety, with a kind of clear-headed (that's how it felt) thinking that I should attempt suicide -- which of course increased anxiety. I had access to Ativan, but took very little of it. I realize now that I should have taken more, because it was all just bad. I went back to see the doctors, with the result that I quickly went back to 75 and kept going to 150, where I am now. I don't feel much different, now after being stable on 150 for about two years, than I did at 75. I also talked to the doctors about withdrawal, that there are no real studies by which to gauge *exactly* how to do it. My psychiatrist said as much, indicating that studies can't be done since it would be unethical to have trials with people who don't need SSRIs to go on these drugs for a few years and then withdraw. Gee, thanks. So here I am. And what brought me here was that two days ago, I missed 50mg of my 150, very rare for me. I thought, Oh, it'll be fine. And sure enough, the second day, today, my head's all over the place. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow, as I've had this experience about four or five times. (Adhering to a pill regimen is easy for me.) But it has returned my awareness to how vulnerable I am. I am thinking, then, that I'd like to attempt a five-year taper. Thoughts?
  13. So I started taking Zoloft around 7 years ago after my GP prescribed them after I explained about having low mood, generally discontent with my life. In hindsight these things were not worth the plunge of ADs as I feel theyve made the situation worse overall. anyway so I took them for about 2-3 years. Its a little foggy on how long it really was as I only journal very sporadically sometimes daily for months sometimes once or twice every couple months. i began tapering down As my GP said it would be okay to reduce from 100mg to 50mg over a 2 week period which I did. At this point I didnt notice much of a difference, if anything I felt better after going down to 50mg. I took this to mean that id feel even better it I got off the med, so my GP said that I could just quit cold turkey at that point. His reasoning was because he knew of other patients taking 200mg doses anything less than 50mg isnt a ‘therapeutic dose’ so there shouldnt be a problem with quitting since my dose was so low. fast forward 2 months and im starting a new job. Day before the job I get sick and dont think much of it. After 3 days of working it became apparent i was not sick but was having panic attacks and crazy anxiety I had never had prior. I lost the ability to sleep more than 2 hrs a night and woke up every morning puking/dry heaving. This led to me having to quit the job as I was embarrassed by all of this. I then asked my GP to put me with a psychiatrist and he had to put me on a 12 month waiting list. After finally meeting with him he tried me on Effexor which made me want to hurt myself. I was on that for about 6 months, then we tried Lamactil but I couldnt handle the side effects so we eventually settled back on Sertraline. Now ive been on it again for a few years and cant really afford them anymore as my insurance ran out when I turned 27. I never wanted to be on them so I figured it was a good time to taper. I am down to 25mg a day and thought that was a low enough dose to quit on. But after about 3 weeks of not taking any sertraline im having a resurgence in anxiety. Going to start taking my dose again and work out how I can reduce the dosage. Its just hard as its powder in a capsule. I dont believe these meds helped me Much but not being on them/quitting them incorrectly has caused me alot of issues and has mostly put my life on hold while I deal with this. thanks if you took the time to read, it was alot.
  14. Hello guys could you please help me, advice what to do? I have long history of taking sertraline and tried to withdraw it many times in last years. Now I am taking 50mg of it and I have vary bad waves. I am also taking quetiapine 50 mg and mianserine 30 mg for trouble sleeping. I think that sertraline is not working properly for me. I can't stabilize myself. I have really unstable digestion - offten diarrheas ant I think i can't absorb al the drug. Please advice what to do. Should switch to some other SSRI or tapper it of and somehow bear with horrible symptoms? Thank you very much in advance!
  15. Glad to know about this site, been looking for this kind of information for ages! Im 30, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since 2019. I've been medicated ever since. Right now I'm just trying to try other type of treatments for my illness, so I'm leaving one of my actual meds, which is Effexor. I began last november. I was taking 150 mg of Effexor XR. On December I began taking 75 mg of Effexor XR, and on January I ended up in 37.5 mgs. This is where I am. Now, thanks to your site i`ve learned that a actually went really fast, and thats why I have been feeling not so well for the past few months. I did it like that because I've consulted 3 different psychiatrst and they told me they coldn't change any of my medication, and that maybe, I needed to increase the dose of even take another pill and, quite frankly, I am so tired of my contries mental health care system. Right know, I would love some advicies on everything. Thank you for your time, can't describe how helpful this site has been.
  16. My dr had me discontinue my Effexor 37.5mg/day after starting it on 12/28/21, and discontinued on 1/28/22, and immediately start Bupropion HCL 150 mg 24 HR ER on 1/29/22. Felt wonderful this past saturday, 1/29/22, felt absolutely great on sunday 1/30/22 at church, the best I had in a long time, then sunday afternoon hit, cleaned the house inside and out and the dizziness, confusion, nausea, headaches, etc... started kicking in, I felt awful, couldnt drive, no appetite, and then continued on throughout the next day, attempted to work, i work from home so I am constantly on the computer taking calls, taking pts, so my eyes constantly are moving, severe brain zaps kicked in in the morning and continued ever since, dizzyness, severe headaches, sinus pressure, inability to focus, chills, shakes, had to clock out midday this past monday due to symptoms, same yesterday, no improvement, severe constant crying, i feel like I am losing it...i am also a group member on the Facebook Group "EFFEXOR (Venlafaxine) Tapering, Discontinuation Syndrome and Protracted W/D" and they suggested I also come here to speak with someone about recommendations to reinstate due to also taking Bupropion as well. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I am making myself work not to lose anymore money, my dr doesnt seem to concerned about it, have a phone appt scheduled with her tomorrow, only due to the fact i pushed for a sooner opening then my original appt this friday, I am at a complete loss and the only thing that I can deduce the cause to is Venlafaxine Withdrawal Syndrome being the cause, but hard to tell as i started Bupropion, and I am afraid my dr will just throw another med at me instead of figuring this out. The reinstatement recommendations on the Facebook Group page stated the following, " How the person quit the drug and how long he or she's been off it. If you've just quit cold-turkey 37.5 mg Effexor a few days ago, you might reinstate at 18.75." I am wanting to know what others thoughts are on all of this, this is all new to me, and I have completely frustrated and feel like i'm losing it right now. Sorry for the ramble, I make not being making much since in this post due to all my symptoms and trouble with focus, memory, etc...please bear with me. I just feel like crying all the time. :(
  17. I have been on psychiatric drugs for bipolar disorder since September 2007. I clearly do have the disease, but I know now that it is not because of genetics or a chemical imbalance. I actually needed a support system and counseling, not to be drugged against my will in a mental "hospital." I call it "hospital" because it really seems like a prison to me. You cannot leave as you wish and they won't release you without you taking medicines. I didn't want to take their medicines when I was first diagnosed, as I felt they were really poisonous and I didn't understand how they could know I had a chemical imbalance without any tests, just talking to me. I never bought that. Over the next 14.5 years I was "hospitalized" 9 more times and really should have been an additional 2 times, too. I realized that the medicines obviously weren't working and the fact that the medicines caused the same issues as the disease was suspicious to me as well. That makes no sense! What I know now is all 9, plus the other two past episodes and hospitalizations were caused by psychiatrists taking me off of medicines without tapering caused withdrawal symptoms similar to the disease, actually. I've never been tapered off of medicine actually. It is like the psychiatrists don't even know they are supposed to do it. After searching for psychiatric drug documentaries on Youtube in December, last year (2021), I learned that the medicines may not work at all and if so only short time periods and that even the World Health Organization says that and that long-term usage may do more harm than good, too, they said. I learned that by Google searches. I started tapering off last month and am just on 7.5mg of Haloperidol now. Later this month I will go down to 6.25mg, hopefully. I cannot go all the way off as I am starting college soon and I know that you shouldn't taper while making big stressful, life changes. So I will stop at 5mg and then pursue my Ph.D. and then after the Ph.D. finish tapering off. I also am on melatonin and Benadryl for sleep, too. I hope to replace my medicine with herbal remedies under the care of a trained herbalist. I learned through researching medicines that you are only supposed to be on melatonin and Benadryl for 3 months at most. I've been on it 6 months! My psychiatrists surely are just guessing. From my plant-based nutrition studies I learned that meta-analysis researchers actually believe at least 90% of studies, but probably 100%, have false conclusions mainly due to biases. And studies are what all people of science go off of. That helped me see that we are just being experimented on, basically. I spent the last 3.5 years switching to a whole food, plant-based diet and getting off of medicine and now don't go to the medical doctor, as my mentors (plant-based doctors) advised me to stop doing outside of injuries (emergencies). It is sad that this is the state of healthcare, but profiting off of us is more important to them it seems. That's my story. I was on 16 primary care medicines because of poly-pharmacology and now I am on nothing for primary care. Everything I had that they said I've have for life was curable through diet, actually and weight loss (I've lost 120lbs.+ as a result of the whole food, plant-based diet). Peace and love to all of you here! And, good luck!
  18. I have been on Prozac for 18 years at various doses, the highest was 40 mph for about 10 years.... 18 months ago I dropped from 40 to 20 with really no issues, just got a smaller dose and did it. I am currently on 20 mg per day of the name brand Prozac... my psychiatrist told me to take 20mg for 2 days then 10 mg for 1 day and then repeat that schedule for 8-10 weeks, then go to 20 mg 1 day and then 10 mg the next day, and same schedule, back and forth, for another 8-10 weeks or more..... then go to 10 mg and after I get to that point I’m to contact him and we can possibly go to a liquid form..... I had a very very bad reaction to some generic back in August of last year after they stopped making the Sandoz brand I had taken for 16 years.....so I was put on the brand name.... I just want off this stuff, I’m so scared they will quit making something I’m taking again and I will go through the nightmare from hell I went through again..... I was suicidal for the first time in my life, all because of meds......Dr said it was likely a very bad reaction to some inert ingredient in the generic form, which came from India..... any advise is appreciated, thank you Sarah
  19. I have taking different SSRI för many years. 2017 i decide to stop and dont take more Again. I was on cipralex and quit fast. After that I got depersonalization and derealization and have had that 24/7 since. I never know The SSRI could do that. Is it to late to start taking cipralex and tapper off slowly now? I have got maybe 20% better under the last years but feels like its never going to be 100%. I found this site and feeling hopeful again.
  20. Hi Everyone, I have one question and one solution. First my question is are the effects of antidepressants reversible once you get off of them or are the effects permanent in the ways it changes your brain. Second my solution is that I found becoming stress resistance is far more superior than trying to suppress or reduce stress. I found that exercise is better than any medication there is. I do pushups every day and gradually increase the count daily (Up to 1000), and my body has adapted to being resistant to the pain which has reduced my stress, anxiety and depression tremendously. I also use the sauna and both of these methods have strengthened the body and mind to be resilient to pain. You don't have to wait out the suffering, you just have to push through it. God bless you all and have a happy holiday. - MagnusCharleston
  21. Hello! After months/year of trying to figure out whats wrong with me, i finally bumped across this web page and now it all makes sense. I have some questions that I would desperately like to have an answer for and I hope you can help because I feel hopeless. Let me give my intro first. I am male, born in 87'. Zoloft 50mg December 2005 - November 2006 (11 months) When I was 18 I had severe panic attacks and experienced depersonalization. I believe this was all related to stress I was going thru at a time. Doctors of course never heard of derealization and said I was depressed and gave me Zoloft 50mg. I can really say it helped at the time because in few months time I was feeling better. I dont remember much from that time because it was 17 years ago but I remember quitting it cold turkey after as doctors said and I know I didnt have and big withdrawal symptoms. Only a week of brain zaps and dizziness and I was ok after that. Zoloft 50mg- June 2009- December 2010 (18 months) Few years later, when I was 22, same thing happened again. I had panic attacks,waves of depression and derealization again and doctors gave me zoloft once more. At the time I was also smoking weed so it might have induced all that anxiety. It also helped me again in getting out of this mess. I was really at low bottom unitil I started taking those pills. I couldnt get out of the house because of anxiety, I couldnt eat, I lost 14 kilos in 3 months time. I dropped out of college... So zoloft really lifted my spirits and got me back on track. I was taking it for around a year and a half before I felt I dont need it any more and I did some sort of quick taper and went off. Believe me, no one ever told me about tapering. Doctors told me that if I feel ok, I can just stop taking it further. I remember having few withdrawal symptoms as brain zaps,dizziness,mild anxiety and concentration/cognitive problems but it all went away,one by one, in couple of months time. But one thing persisted after all others, it was lowered libido and slighty lower concentration. It wasnt like I didnt have libido at all but it was lowered like for about 50%. Drug-free (9 years) After that, when I was 24 I started going out every weekend and started drinking a lot of alcohol, doing cocaine,generally I started having time of my life in terms of partyjing. And it went on all the way until recently. Each weekend full of cocaine and alcohol. And adding in benzos at the end of party night to ease my cocaine crashes here and then. In all my life I have been professional hockey player and also having a 9 to 5 job besides that. Zoloft 25/50mg - June 2019-March 2021 (20 months) In January of 2019 I decided I it was enough and I needed to change my lifestyle. So I abruptly stopped all partying and dedicated myself to total training regime and eating healthy food and concentrating on work. And I started to feel great! I met I girl, who is my fiancee now, and fel in love for the first time since high school. I was on top of the world. But it only lasted for a couple of months. Then anxiety and depression waves started to take me over. I didnt know why that happened. I was assured that I had to feel good because now I started living a healthier drug-free life for the first time in almost a decade. I ignored it in hope it would all go away but it didnt. It was getting worse. It was probably some form of PAWS after stopping taking cocaine and alcohol every few days. But it didnt realise that at a time. Each of having those symptoms left me miserable. Also, my libido and concentration, which never returned to 100% after quitting zoloft in 2010. were even more affected. I was at a highly responsible managerial position job, having my hockey career at its peak, having a girl I was in love with and having to pay for mortgage. So I just couldnt let myself sink to the dark again like I did in 2009. and risking loosing all of those things. And with everyday symptoms getting worse, it was evident I was getting closer to that. So I decided to take zoloft once again in June 2019. I started at 25mg(splitting 50mg pills at half). And symptoms kinda went away. Also, my libido returned. Also, my concentraion returned. I was so happy. It was for first time in almost a decade my penis felt totally connected to my mind. And my mind was working brilliantly. I felt like I was a supercomputer. I could remember anything and was able to solve all the mind challenging obstacles. But it lasted only for about month or so. After that i started having anxiety and panics again... So i lifted a dose to 50mg(whole pill) and that eased anxiety for me. I stayed on 50mg for few months when anxiety returned again. I didnt know what to think. I said myself if I keep lifting a dose like this i might end up on 200mg in few months time and I dont want that. So maybe this pills are causing me anxiety I tought. So I cut the dose to 25mg again. And felt anxiety weaken shortly after that. Great I tought. But again in few weeks it returned, so I lifted up to 50mg again and it eased anxiety again. So I was going back and forth fluctuating between 25 and 50mg. I was generally listening to my mind and body and adjusting dose regarding to my anxiety levels. Sometimes it meant staying on single dose for months and sometimes it meant only for days or so. It all lasted until November 2020 when couldnt feel benefits anymore. Its not just that i couldnt feel the benefits, my mental health deteriorated a lot graduately. I started to feel down, ruminating, no libido, hostile towards my fiance and family, aversion to work, social anxiety, low energy etc... At that time I felt like I have to quit Zoloft but I was scared it would only make things worse. So I hanged on for a couple more months until I decided to get off it for good in March 2021. I tapered by listening to my mind and body as I didnt know any other way. So from 50mg at a time i cut to 25 for few weeks. After I felt no physical symptoms (mental symptoms were already there for some time), I missed a dose for a few days. After 3 days I felt dizziness and took 25mg again. Those symptoms went away immediately. Then I was not taking for 5 days and dizziness came back. Then I took 25mg again. Symptoms went away again. Then they came back after 7 days. I took 25mg again. After that dizziness never returned and I never took pill again. So I started psychoanalitic therapy in May. At that time I didnt know all those symptoms were from withdrawal syndrome. So I drinked alcohol to give me relief and took cocaine for few times. I only recently, few weeks ago, found out that all of my symptoms are from Withdrawal syndrome. After that conclusion, I never drank alcohol or took any drugs again. I know now that I have to stay away from those thing in order to have some hope in recovery. So now I am in a state in which I have this symptoms: -mood swings -DP/DR -high agitation which turns into anger and hostility which wont go away so quickly -Anxiety attacks -Extreme nostalgia (one of most common symptoms), I even feel nostalgia for yesterday! Even nothing good happened yesterday! -Depression waves -Low libido -No self esteem -Non stop overanalysing every move I make and every tought i have -Anhedonia -Food cravings. I gain 10 kilos in one year -Hostility towards work, I hate going to my workplace and find no interest in job I do -Identity loss- maybe the worst symptom of all... I really dont know how to deal with that and that produces low self esteem. -Feeling so low when I see others enjoying life and having interests and passions... - I think everyone is better then me -oversleeping It is interesting that my concentration is now way better then it was before i started taking zoloft. Even now after I quit taking it. It seems it improved permanently by taking zoloft. I have NO psychical symptoms. Only mental this is how i feel: In 65% of time I feel , i like to call it, LOW NEUTRAL. It means I have all those symptoms from list above but they are something I can live with. It means I can work and do all the stuff I need to do. (Is this WD Normal as you call it?) In 25% of time I feel extreme anxiety or depression which are overwhelming and paralyzing. Although they dont stop me from working and going about my day, those emotions are so extreme I sometimes get dhiarrea of it. In 7% of time I feel good. Like I am 95% back to my normal self again. in 3% of time I feel 100% normal and those moments are so nice and they keep me going all this time. They are my fuel. When I dont see reason to live I remember those few nice moments/days which I had. Are these waves and windows which i described? Right now I feel depressed for last 2 weeks. I have trouble getting out of bad and I eat a lot. In the morning its worst and gets better towards end of the day. Please answer these questions for me, I feel desperate: 1. Can I develop some other mental illness out of this? 2. Do I have to cut alcohol out for the rest of my life? I sometimes want to drink so hard to give me a relief... 3. Are all of these emotions which come to me out of the blue (agitaion,anxiety,depression, feeling of no self worth etc..) something which I havent dealt with earlier in my life so they are coming back now or its just a reaction to brain healing and triggering them randomly? 4. Will psychotherapy help or is it just a waste of money? 5. Does this affect my genes and seamen? My fiancee and I want to have children and when I have some of my good days and libido I wonder if we can try to make baby? 6. Is it normal that I didn't feel alcohol? 7. Does it matter that I already came of Zoloft twice in my life before? I know about kindling effect and wonder if it is going to make it harder this time or should I think that my brain already knows this situation and how to repair so it will repair more easily? 8. Each time I have Waves, they tend to get even worse. And windows tend to get even happier. Is that normal? Why is this so? 9. THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: Should I reinstate? I mean I didnt feel any benefits of pill (except for first few months), so would that be a good idea? Its been 7 months since I last took pill 10. Have my healing process started or the worst is yet to come? Thank you in advance for your time. I really hope to answers to my questions. Sorry for my english, its not my first language. I have already read this: Instructions: Withdrawal History Signature Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms what-is-withdrawal-syndrome The only supplements which SA recommends are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil . Tips for Tapering Zoloft The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization
  22. Domperidone: Sept 28-Dec 14=30mgs a day Dec 14-Jan 1 = 20mgs a day Jan 1 - feb 16 = 10mgs a day stopped April 19 - May 8 = 20mgs a day May 9 - May 30 = 10mgs a day stopped - severe withdrawal symptoms: anxiety; panic attacks; tremors; twitching; tachycardia; insomnia; blurry vision. Sept 17 - Oct 8th = 10mgs a day - no change in symptoms, didn't want to go back up more. Oct 9 - 17th = 5mg a day stopped - continue to have some WD symptoms and feel like going to hospital daily!
  23. I feel like my case is very different and I feel it's weird too, but by taking a look at this website, I felt positivity after a long time and some hope too that I may find some help here. It goes like this. I went on a website. So I was using a phone earlier, it was a cheap phone, rear camera was good but a very bad quality selfie camera and it doesn't take good pictures. Now when I went to that website, you could meet people and talk to them, when I opened the camera, I was not looking good, I saw it and laughed and said this camera makes me look so bad and I thought I should get a better phone. I know this sounds weird, most of my initial story is weird and it took me months to understand the issues. Now I was scrolling, and talked with a few, but constantly I was feeling like I'm not looking good. Now other people were normal good or ok, many even better. (Please read this carefully and I hope you understand all this). But I felt like most were looking better than me and I felt like a bad looking person infront of them, even though I don't look anything like that in real life. After talking to a few, I had some work, so I closed the website. But I felt something was different. I was feeling somewhat sad, I felt like I don't want to do my work. I am a dentist, at that time I was an intern, in the same hospital where I did my studies. I liked my work. At that time, I had a patient who would come for an RCT, and I liked doing it because I was gaining experience and you can say learning complex cases too. But after I closed that website, I didn't understand why, but I said to myself, I don't want to do that RCT. I didn't want to do it now, I felt a loss of interests in general. I felt somewhat bad too, a bad feeling. I knew that something had happened on internet, on that website, because before that I was a person with a completely normal mental health. So I would constantly think about it, what the hell happened there, I would ask myself. Then I used to think of ideas, maybe this happened, or that, I thought, thought and thought but I was still feeling the same, somewhat incomplete, feeling bad, and not so much interest in the things I liked doing earlier. For about 12 days, I waited, I would just try to understand the cause of all this, but all in vain. Then, I finally thought maybe this is all real, maybe I have a mental disease, I went to a psychiatrist, he told me I have mild to moderate depression, but I felt he wasn't sure. On 28 January 2021, I went to another doctor, who said it's not depression but anxiety. Being desperate, I gave in. I asked him to do CBT, if he had done CBT, I probably would be better in days or a few weeks, but he insisted on medication and that's how I started on the medication. It's as follows:- 1st day- Escitalopram 10mg and (Trifluoperazine 5mg+Trihexyphenidyl 2mg). I took the medication and next day I woke up with somewhat a dreamy state, I went to the doctor, he said people may feel like this for the first few days, so he added - Clonazepam 0.25 mg. Next day I didn't feel any dreamy state. I took this medication for 15 days, once daily. After 15 days, doctor asked me, how do I feel, and I said maybe somewhat better, but the real issue is still lingering, then he said let's up the dose. He upped the dose of escitalopram to 20 mg. So 10 mg in morning and 10 mg after dinner. Rest of the medicines same. I went there again after 15 days, he asked me, I said the same thing, somewhat better but some thing is still bothering me, and it's still there, I am not still able to understand, what went wrong on that website. He said, I am better now, I would get even better, told me to come after 1 month. This was on 1st March 2021. After all this time on medication, I was still not much different, my real problem was still there. I would keep thinking, what's wrong, what happened on that website. But something happened on 6th of March 2021, we had a seminar and other events about dentistry in the hospital. I saw something, I mean I observed something, not in the seminar, and many people had come there, and I suddenly I realised a thing. I instantly thought about that website, I now understand the PROBLEM, I understand what happened wrong there, because of what I observed that day. I realised, and I said to myself, "OH OK! NOW I understand the damn thing, what went wrong there, OMG! What a nightmare!". So I thought, actually what happened there was, I felt like a bad looking person in front of other male guys who were looking good or ok. That's what made me feel bad, but I didn't realise this earlier, nor could I think about something like this earlier. It was like some thought was inside my head, closed, and I couldn't think of it, like it was in my subconscious or something, but I couldn't realise it, and that's why I was feeling like this. After this, I INSTANTLY felt normal, all of those bad feelings and other things that I was feeling were gone, instantly. I'm pretty sure, that I did not require that medication, probably CBT, that could've worked or maybe I just needed to wait, but NOT medication. (Please tell me, what this was about, what could be this, can this really happen "thought locked up in mind"). Next day I went to the doctor, I told the doctor I'm feeling fine and I told him about my thoughts. He said it's great but he can't stop the medication, I said I don't require, but he said he can't now. First he will do some CBT sessions. I agreed. But I was also feeling weird because of that medication, I was feeling like I was a LITTLE overconfident, a LITTLE too happy, it was probably some form of hypomania, I didn't knew it then though. Ofcourse I wasn't feeling any other symptoms than the above mentioned ones, and certainly not that severe. I realised these symptom after the doctors visit, but I may have been feeling it before then, I'm not sure. So I felt like, this medication is doing something wrong and no good, and also there is no need to take it. So I took a decision to stop it without doctor's permission. I was feeling confident that I wouldn't get any withdrawal symptoms that would be too bothersome. So I cold turkey all the medication on 21 March 2021. It was probably a bad decision which I thought of only after a few months. After cold turkey, for about 5 weeks, I had no withdrawal symptom, nothing at all, not even a headache. I felt happy. But after 5 weeks, on 26 April 2021, I felt anxiety, with physical symptoms like chest tightness, I went to a regular doctor, he said nothing wrong with lungs, it's anxiety. It was mild, but I could see a pattern of a increase in anxiety, it's intensity, then I felt other symptom, like mind fog, attention problems maybe due to anxiety. Some days I would feel better, as if I'm getting better and all this will go, but when it was over my symptoms were even worse, physical symptoms of anxiety got worse and worse. I was even feeling like I'm swaying while walking like I have balance issues, but again only anxiety. 2 brief episodes of depression in between (would last for 3 or 4 days). So all these symptoms, anxiety and others, increased in intensity for about 5 months since CT. After this the physical symptoms went down, considerably, I'm still feel it sometimes but less often and very mild in intensity. But after 5 months, I have a lot of anxiety (without physical symptoms), a I think depression too. Till 5 months I was worried about those symptoms, but after that since I started feeling the present symptoms I'm more worried now and i feel like I've only gotten worse, and have a feeling like it may get even worse. I have negative thoughts all the time, a feeling like I want to cry (mild), anxiety, and probably depression, I do feel sad, and sometimes I have a dark feeling, today weather changed, it was cold today, I felt more depression today, probably. I went to one psychiatrist, and he told me that I probably do have developed some hypomania due to that medication but he didn't tell me about prolonged withdrawal though. He suggested I take (Risperidone 2mg + Trihexyphenidyl 2mg). But I didn't go forward with the medication, and I waited, because I can't blindly believe psychiatrists now. So this is my story. Presently these symptoms are making me worse everyday. I feel like I don't even want to do anything professionally. I had big plans ahead, I wanted to go for Masters, and do good in dentistry. But today, I feel like my life is a joke professionally. I have lost interest also. And I have never in my life felt like this, never felt any of these symptoms, so I'm sure it's all because of these medications I took. I hope you read all this and help me understand my situation better and know what exactly is happening to me. It's been about 7 months since CT and I feel I'm nowhere still. Does this stay with us for a long time, and when can I feel I'm getting better. It would be so grateful to you if you help me get answers to these questions. Thank you.
  24. Don’t know what to do. I’ve been slow tapering off of cymbalta 90mg since July 2018. I had my baby in Sept 2019 and I’ve been struggling since 2 months postpartum with depression, anxiety, nausea, and diarrhea. I was at 39mg of cymbalta and tired of feeling awful all the time, so I went to a psychiatrist in the beginning of November. I was prescribed Zoloft 50mg, buspar 10mg tid, and Zofran 4mg. Dr felt cymbalta wasn’t agreeing with me and that this cocktail would make me feel better and possibly able to taper off cymbalta a little faster. I started feeling worse and was having heart racing, arm tingling, nausea, diarrhea, and the awful feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin. I called the dr and was told to go to the ER because of the cardiac symptoms. All of my tests were normal and I was given some IV Ativan, which made me feel better. For a few hours, I felt normal. I was told to stop the buspar, so I continued on with the Zoloft 50mg, cymbalta 39mg, and Zofran 4mg. I started with a new psychiatrist because the other one couldn’t see me for a month. She wanted me to drop the cymbalta to 37mg. On the 2nd day, I was so sick from that I was bedridden. I added the missing 2mg back in, in desperation. I kept getting sicker. Extreme nausea, dry heaving, could barely eat or drink, shaky/jittery internal feeling. I went to the ER because I wanted to die. They had me meet with an angry, young psychiatrist who thought I had serotonin toxicity and told me to stop all meds for a few days. I told him I couldn’t do that because of withdrawals, and he said “then I don’t know how to help you”. ER dr told me to reduce to 25mg of Zoloft. the next day, which was the day before thanksgiving, I was so sick with the nausea, shaky/jittery feeling and wanting to jump out of my skin. My psychiatrist met with me and agreed that I had symptoms of too much serotonin. She told me to stop the Zoloft and Zofran and take 20mg of cymbalta twice per day. I felt well enough to function and get out of bed on thanksgiving and Friday. Saturday and today- I’m on the 20mg cymbalta twice per day. To further mess me up, the brand of cymbalta changed on my prescription and the old brand is no longer manufactured. I’m extremely nauseous, diarrhea, shaky/jittery, want to jump out of my skin, every sound is irritating to me. I don’t know if I’m going through Zoloft withdrawal, or cymbalta brand name change issues. I was only on Zoloft for 2.5 weeks. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do? I can’t function. I have to work tomorrow, and I don’t know how I will.
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