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  1. Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!
  2. I am in the process of tapering off zyprexa. I started zyprexa in 1996 and and was on 10mg until i decided to start reducing in October 2017 . I reduced it to 7.5mg for a year, and than 5mg and in April 2020 i began 2.5mg. Have been on 2.5mg for 4 months now The only thing i find difficult is the lack of deep sleep and the pain in all my joints...the pain in my joints only started happening since i started on 2.5mg..Also lower back pain, first i thought it was from my bed mattress but i changed beds and no relief...and i havnt injured myself in anyway....all i can put it down to, is my reduced zyprexa. Also since reducing it to 2.5mg i have been getting face sores...always had good skin up until then...so thats a problem that annoys me.. I am planing on staying on 2.5mg for the next 6 months and than try and taper at 10% reduction each month over 12 months to zero.. i want to do it slowiy as it affects my ability to sleep. I have to somehow figure out how i can taper off so slowly as what i have read is the tablet it isnt soluble in water...I live in Australia and am looking at compounding labs to find out if i can somehow have it done...I have been on this drug since 1996 and i am over it...i am doing it on my own with no doctors apart from just getting my repeats from my GP (not a psch doc). any advice would be most appreciated. cheers
  3. Hi, I have previously been on Olanzapine for around 3 years and I managed to get off ok. However, I have vaccine injury and M.E and I started again 3 months ago on 10mg. The olanzapine was doing me no favours so I came off which I took around a month to do. I feel absolutely terrible. The fatigue is so bad and the stomach issues are horrendous. After about a week of stopping, I had an awful taste in my mouth and felt as though I had been poisoned. I am not sure if I should start again and taper much more slowly or do I have to ride it out? I feel lost and would appreciate any input.
  4. Hi, I have a long history (18 years) of psych drug usage and have been on antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilisers. I recently (1 month ago) started Zyprexa again because I had a crisis, and this time it didn't really work as well as it had in the past. I took 10mg and I passed out and felt awful and later was admitted to a private hospital, where various other drugs were added. I am now on 2.5mg Zyprexa and would like to get off it because I am pre-diabetic. Given that I have only been on it for a month, is a 25% reduction per week ok? I have withdrawn off it before and I am petrified. I feel in general that my mental health has declined quite a bit this year, so I am not sure if I could handle the withdrawal. Having said that though, going off it gives me hope that I will feel better and have my cognition back. Is this a realistic expectation? Zyprexa withdrawal is very rough. And unfortunately Zyprexa has affected my memory quite a bit. I am quite confused too at the moment, because I have seen too many shrinks and they all have different diagnosis and views for me. My shrink of 18 years pretty much gave up on me recently because I discharged against his advice from a private hospital where he consulted. I only did this because he wanted to start me on Abilify to replace the Zyprexa and after one dose, I had horrible side effects which he didn't believe. My life is in a complete mess at the moment and I am very sad at what psych drugs have done to me :__( Thanks Rico
  5. Hi, I am Kelly, I am new here. I have been on zyprexa for 2 months at 1.25mg plus a 2 months taper that got me to 0.4mg. Everything went fine (except my sleep but still ok) until my last drop, since then I have feelings of pins and needles all over my body and a weird sensation that I believe is formication (I basically feel like there always is a hair brushing my nose or my face but there is nothing). All those symptoms are making me extremely anxious and depressed. I am not seeing a lot of success story regarding zyprexa withdrawals and everything I read online is horrible. Do you think those symptoms will go away? How should I continue from here?
  6. I had the first manic and psychotic break at 2006, I was 28, mother of a small child. I was admitted to the ER and given a high dose of olanzapine and mood stabilizer, sleeping pills. I don't even remember those first few days, I was locked in a psych ward without any visit from a psychiatrist for 3 weeks. Then I begged to go home (still psychotic but they didn't know) and they let me go home, where I continued the treatment, although I was feeling really unwell, desperate even. With time I got better, then went to a private psychiatrist that put me on quietapine and a mood stabilizer. I took the meds 2 years, struggling to lead a normal life. My brain wasn't functioning well, I felt incapacitated. I managed to find a job but I wasn't happy there to put it mildly and even though I was taking the meds I ended up manic and psychotic again, I divorced my husband, the police went to get me at work to take me to the hospital... This time they didn't commit me and I ended up taking arpiprazol, sleeping pills, and maybe a mood stabilizer. I lost the job, went into depression, but I found the doctor that still is my doctor today. He took me off aripriprazol when he could and I started taking lamotrigine. I never sought a job again because I felt humilliated by the whole situation, I eventually got together with my husband because our separation was all due to my mental health problems at the time. I stayed home with a lot of trauma and low self-esteem for 5 years but with no symptoms. My husband gor me a part time job in his company and that's what I do now. But in 2015 my doctor went to another hospital and I got a new one. I didn't dislike her, I had a crisis that year and after depression. I was put on olanzapine and sleeping pills, and when the olanzapine was over the sleeping pills remained so my brain got addicted to them. She gave me an antidepressant that got me manic and I was miserable, I decided to take matters in my own hands. I quit the antidepressants and the sleeping pills, changed my diet, started exercising (I was fat from the drugs) and lost 15kg while trying to control my mania with olanzapine but I didn't take enough and had another crisis, this was 2017. I was committed and took a huge dose of olanzapine and all the other meds again, the doctor told me that medication was for life and I nodded. As soon as I got out of the hospital sought out my actual psychiatrist that followed me in 2009. I said I wanted the least ammount of meds possible. I started making a very detailed diary of meds and symptoms and slowly got off of everything but olanzapine. He thought I should take preventively 5mg everyday but that dose makes me less human, so I went down to 2.5mg and he was very pleased with how I functioned although I was in a bad depression. In last May the depression finally lifted and I started exercising more and lost 10kg that meanwhile I had got from olanzapine. This winter I'm reducing even more olanzapine, my plan is to wean it off and try another antipsychotic in the spring doesn't mess with my sleep. I'm sleeping badly and having anxiety but I don't want this med anymore, or at least not take it everyday. It's a long story, I started trusting the doctors and doing everything they said but today I'm way more critical. Everyone is surprised when I say the little I take. My seasonality is also something peculiar, I don't get manic or psychotic in autumn of winter so I'm weaning off now. I'll get there eventually, wish me luck.
  7. Hi all, I had a toxic break in mid 1990s. Was self medicating due to unresolved childhood trauma. I wasn’t coping with how difficult my life had become. I wasn’t making wise choices - but not all of us in our early 20s do… Parents called crisis team and I was told by psychiatrist I had a chemical imbalance and would require endless drugging. I replied I know my life is out of whack - I’d read R.D Laing at uni and asked if there was somewhere I could go to get help sorting everything out properly without the chemicals. “No.” My parents believed the genetics/chemical imbalance myth. I tried stelazine and mellaril but the akathisia was instant and felt awful. I stabilised without them for some time. I had a couple more toxic breaks and in 2003 my parents arranged a forced admission with the same psychiatrist. I was shot in the arse with god knows what. I had bad akathisia and they gave me cogentin. I was supposed to have skin ointment nightly as well but half the time the orderlies just couldn’t be bothered with that even when I told them it was part of the regimen. Not reassuring. After two weeks I was out of there and my father demanded I take the prescription if I was to stay with him. At no stage was a physical done. I would’ve been malnourished to say the least - couldn’t afford decent food. I moved away with friends, took 10mg olanzapine daily and became obese - ugh. It was a pretty relaxing time though, which helped. I was able to return to work. Later on I came back and my mother helped me get diet and exercise happening to lose some weight. Thank heavens I didn’t have an office job then or it wouldn’t have been possible. I lost 30 kgs. Keeping it off is hard though with the olanzapine. I tried risperidone for a couple of years to lose weight but it was of marginal help and was more uncomfortable to take. I asked the psychiatrist since I’ve been stable for many years can we look at getting off. “No.” Do you ever work with addressing the root causes with therapy? “No, we don’t believe it affects this.” I discovered yoga which has been enormously beneficial and I’d recommend to anyone. I wish I’d listened to my aunt and done this when I was first having issues before my break. Exercise is another must. A few years ago I had an abusive neighbour move in next door who beat his de facto and he wasn’t friendly to me either. Somehow my psychiatrist thought this would be a good time to try me on aripiprazole. At first it was liberating as I had much more energy but that rapidly turned into overstimulation and anxiety. I switched back. I moved away from the violent neighbour. The two nice things I’ll say about the psychiatrist are a) he didn’t stack me on multiple drugs and b) he was ok with me setting my own dose…to a point… I was easily able to get down from 10mg olanzapine to 7.5, then 6 2/3, then 5 with a pill cutter within a year. So my script was now for 5mg. After some time I tried 3 1/3mg and it was obviously a no-go zone. I just hung out on 5mg for a bit longer. I found a clinical psychologist who helped me with the usual family patterns, boundaries, spoke to trauma, helped with relationships etc. This has been very beneficial and I drink much less after that. A friend observed “I think you could get off your meds”. I was skeptical but started researching. This was an eye-opener: https://www1.bps.org.uk/system/files/user-files/Division of Clinical Psychology/public/CAT-1657.pdf It was validating my initial understanding that this was all about how I wasn’t coping with trauma, rather than innately ‘broken’. This was the first document I gave to my mother who was initially terrified but is now supportive of me coming off. I discovered Peter Breggin, reading “Your Drug May Be Your Problem” in horror. But it was empowering as well. His book “Guilt, Shame and Anxiety” helped reduce my anxiety substantially. He has a newer book “Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal”, which I also recommend. There is Peter Lehmann’s “Coming off Psychiatric Drugs” too, which is valuable but a harrowing read! I told close friends and some family what I was doing. Having a safety net is the way to go. Over five months I was able to taper down from 5mg to 2.5mg by agitating a crushed tablet in a known volume of filtered water, then removing a gradually increasing portion with a large syringe (no needle!). I came down listening to my body 0.1 or 0.2mg at a time then holding for a few weeks. It was a bit of a bumpy ride but have been able to hold down my job and relationships ok. Not that it’s pleasant or easy, but it is navigable. Thanks Rhiannon for sharing your experience on making suspensions of the compound in water. I hung out at 2.5mg for six months or so. This is the smallest tablet size they sell. My family and friends have been commenting on how much more ‘with it’ I am, able to join them in more nuanced conversations again. This is extremely welcome and I realised how much I’ve been missing despite having a lot of good people and things in my life already. I took my mother for moral support and went to see the prescribing psychiatrist (same one all the way through). I started explaining that I was prediabetic, had high cholesterol, was having (apparently undiagnosable) joint problems and rheumatism, getting allergic rashes (I saw the other day the NPS web site advises people with this reaction not to take this drug!), getting hot flushes and unable to stand heat (pretty hellish in Aussie summers), and more. He didn’t want to hear about my plan - his reaction: “Keep taking it.” I said as if that wasn’t enough, what about TD? He said “Oh, it’s not that bad.” I was glad mum was there as a witness to this appalling advice. I asked him for a script for 2.5mg but he said “It’s too low. I can’t support this. I will not see you any more.” Good riddance! I got the script from my sympathetic GP. Many of these horrid symptoms have reduced or abated with the lower dose. Some remain. Fatigue is a bear. The stragglers are just a waiting game I suppose. My clinical psychologist has been supportive the whole time and confirmed my essential stability during the reductions. Her reaction to that was “well, if he says 2.5 isn’t enough, yet you’re stable, it’s a good sign that you can probably do without it altogether”. I’m now working with a clinical psychologist on the trauma I perceive as the root of all the major issues. If I’ve learnt one thing, it’s that you have to take charge of your own healing. No one else can do it for you. Shop around and find supportive crew who will back you up - they’re out there. Breggin observes that signalling helplessness is what lands you in hot water in this rather unhealthy society. I’m continuing my taper, coming down around 2mg olanzapine at the moment. Thanks to this site I’ve found the importance of the compound taper and have made a spreadsheet to manage it. I'm doing a microtaper - it's going reasonably at 10%/mo for now. It's not comfortable and some days at work are hard. But I know it's worth it. Looking at the receptor occupancy curves for olanzapine I found via this site I can see I’d already be over half way through the dopamine adjustments. That would explain why I’ve got more animated for a bit after each cut. This initially concerned mum but she’s now learnt about withdrawal symptoms. The 5-HT2 curve lies ahead, for the most part. So this could take another year or two - I’ve been poisoned with this garbage for a long time. Better though to ride it gently down and not hammer my body too much, or destabilise my life, for the best chance of a good outcome. Despite every day wanting to be rid of it ASAP. Epsom salt baths and yoga are helping me a lot. Thanks for creating this forum, Altostrata. Before the net, I probably would’ve just concluded 3 1/3mg wasn’t enough rather than learning about the taper, and been stuck.
  8. It all started after a 10 day meditation course 4 years back.At the end of the course i had euphoria and a bit of delusion.But in a few days i was settling down but i was forcefully taken by my brother who never was polite with me from childhood, to a psychiatric hospital where they started me on oral antipsychotics. As i was not tolerating them i wasn't taking them regularly which i disclosed to my doctor who gave me option of an injectible which i think was inj paliperidone. Stupidly ,i agreed to it.All hell broke loose that night,i was in the dumps,nobody attended to my situation.I never wanted to take that any more but after a day my doctor said i had to repeat that injection ,which when i refused ,they threatened to give it forcefully,so i accepted that injection.Life was a down hill from that time onwards.I was discharged from that hospital after a month with no proper instruction.i was living in hell for the next 6months. Was it the effect of the injection or its withdrawal i dont know.After 6 months of hell i was reffered to another psychiatrist who started me on sodium valproate 1500mg,olanzipine 5mg,clonazepam 5mg and escitolopram 10mg.In the mean time i had to hold on to my job which required constant alertness.I have gradually tapered sodium valproate to 300mg ,tapered and stopped clonazepam following the Ashton manual,tapered and stopped escitolopram on my own.I am now left with 5mgs of olanzepine.Around that time i came across the works of Dr Peter Breggin and i was convinced to stop olanzepine to over come the battery of side effects of olanzepine which was pure hell.About the same time i came across SurvivingAntidepressants web forum.I convinced my psychiatrist to taper olanzepine,who asked me to reduce by 50%. However i will be tapering by 10% of the previous dose method from 1st nov 2019.You guys at SA are doing a marvellous job,hats off to all of you.My sincere prayers to all those trying to taper of psychiatric medications,wishing everyone a safe and successful journey.I too need a lot of support and wishes from all of you.My wife has been very supportive and understanding .She has agreed to stand by me during my olanzepine taper which may take a couple of years. Will i be myself after the taper?Will my personality ever come back which is in ruins right now? will i be able to thinking clearly?Will the anhedonia go away?Will i be able to feel again?During the process of tapering olanzepine i need to hold on to my job which requires constant alertness,and take care of my family at the same time.Will i be able to?
  9. Hi, long story but I’ll cut it short. I banged my head accidentally 6 months ago & have spent alot of time alone & bedridden with a brain injury. I’ve had psychotic episodes since then & was diagnosed with either bi-polar or border line personality disorder. i was out on Olanzapine (zyprexa) 2.5mg at first then 5mg & now 7.5mg, I have been on zyprexa for a total of 24 days as of the 20th of July 2022. My anxiety is off the charts - I need to taper off Olanzapine & try Seroquel. Help! How much do I taper each week of the zyprexa & do I take the seroquel while I’m tapering the zyprexa? Thank you for your help bess
  10. Years ago I had a problem, gas pain in the chest 24/7 and belching 24/7, I went to the gastroenterologist, from there to the neurologist and he sent me zyprexa, 3 months 2.5mg and one month 5mg, and I am going to start giving it up because I feel that it has deteriorated me cognitively and artistically, will I go back to how I was before? I'm very scared, I want to be able to be like before I took these pills, if I had known I would never have taken them, I'm sorry for my English but I'm Spanish, and I apologize if I'm in the wrong forum because it's the first post
  11. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  12. Original topic title: Olanzapine cold turkey (out of presumptuous stupidity, I destroyed myself, and now I am trying to save at least a part of my being) On October 20, 2021, I started olanzapine 2.5mg. per day (which I was advised to split into two doses, to take half in the morning and the other half in the evening), recommended to me by a psychiatrist as a remedy for chronic insomnia, and on November 11, 2021 I abruptly stopped using this medicine, as I read in internet about its extreme neurotoxicity. On the evening of November 14, 2021, something terrible happened to me: something seemed to be turned off in my psyche forever, I lost my whole self, i.e. my emotions, interests, hopes, dreams, hobbies, motivation, flexible intellect, and ultimately the will to live. I tried to restart olanzapine on November 15, 2021, but at that time I did not know anything about effective strategies for reinstatement of the drug, and therefore, already on November 16, 2021, I stopped olanzapine again, but, exhausted by insomnia, had to take 25 mg. quetiapine, which have been in my medicine cabinet for many years without use. On November 17, I impulsively returned to olanzapine, but after a couple of days I stopped drinking it again in order to resume taking it at the end of November, but this comeback was also extremely short-lived and did not exceed the duration of the same couple of days. On November 29, 2021, I took olanzapine for the last time, but the neurotransmitter chaos, provoked by my stupid thrashings, seems to have done me irreparable damage. Over the next three and a half months, I tried to pull myself out of this anhedonic pit with various supplements (I tried fish oil, 5-HTP, St. John's wort, green tea extract, tyrosine, biotin, citicoline, Alpha GPC) multivitamin complexes (I mean B vitamins), peptides (for two weeks I was regularly injected intramuscularly with cortexin) and even psychopharmacological drugs prescribed to me by other psychiatrists, but with drugs of this class I again behaved as haphazardly as possible (about 8-10 times during these months I took phenazepam at a dosage of 0.5 mg., it at least minimally relieved anxiety; 5-7 times I drank hydroxyzine at a dosage of 0.25 mg at night, but it did not help me sleep at all; for three or four days I took a combination of venlafaxine, lamotrigine and trazodone, and once I took two capsules sulpiride, the content of the active substance in which was 100 mg., and one tablet of phenibut at a dosage of 250 mg.). Now I realize that my behavior during these months was absolutely suicidal, and probably only the prompt reinstatement of olanzapine could have saved me, but now almost three and a half months have passed since the last dose of this medication, so my chances of self-preservation seem for me absolutely ghostly. I hope that something else can be done in this situation: I have already completely lost hope for rehabilitation, I have practically not slept all these months due to permanent panic and bouts of neurocognitive hypochondria, I don’t understand how I still haven’t made suicide, because it is unnatural to live in such a state.
  13. TLDR - Dr badly advised Zyprexa CT at 2.5 - Tried to reinstate Zyprexa after 1.5 months off. -Started to see improvement at .25 reinstatement dose -After 4 days, accidently up-dosed to 2.5 and had bad reaction -Tried to lower back to .25 but was still to activating from up-dose -Lowered dose to 1/8, no reaction but started to get sick with new withdrawal symptoms -Back up to .25 at dr order, but had a reaction (not as bad as the 2.5 dose), will things get better over time? -Don't know what to do now -Life feels ruined Hi everyone. As many of these stories go, I feel like my life has been crumbling, and it happened in such a short amount of time, and I possibly ruined any chance I had to salvage it forever. Back in 2020 I started a prescription of 10mg Dexedrine for ADHD. In January of 2021 I had a very stressful and traumatic life event happen that sent me into psychosis. I ended up coming out of it on my own, but continued to take the Dexedrine not knowing it could have been a contributing factor. December of 2021, continued stress from that same traumatic life even remerged and I entered back into psychosis but was this time hospitalized. I was given 10mg Zyprexa in hospital. Upon exiting the hospital my Dr quickly started to reduce the 10mg Zyprexa (I don't think we even went to 7.5 but can't remember) and by February I was on 5mg, March I was on 2.5 and by the last week of April I stopped CT, although I didn't realize it was a CT at the time being told it was the lowest dose and fine to stop . The obvious happened and I entered extreme withdrawals. I called Dr about a week later and told her about the extreme anxiety I was having and was prescribed Buspar. The very day I took it, the insomnia started. Called Dr again, she prescribed hydroxyzine as needed for insomnia and anxiety. Anxiety still increased to a 3 day panic attack from not sleeping. Went to urgent care and was prescribed klonopin to stop panic attack and helped some with sleep. I kept pushing through thinking things had to get better, but was extremely scared about becoming addicted to klonopin so took sparingly only after several days of hardly sleeping. The insomnia was brutal and destroyed me. Some night out the blue I would get 8 hours, and then days with very little. I do not do well mentally/physically with low sleep, I have always need TONS of sleep including naps to function so this was almost giving a new form trauma. After several weeks of suffering I found a FB group and this website about going back on and tapering off more slowly. I asked my dr to help reinstate and taper off, but she would not saying she did not have the capacity to do that, plus she said I was not diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar and so was not a medicine I needed to be prescribed. I literally begged to go back on thinking it was the only way to get my sleep back. I told her I would die if I did not go back on and get sleep, she said go to the hospital and hung up on me. Could not go to hospital as I have a daughter to take care of, so found a new Dr. She unfortunately also said I should of been fine to come off at 2.5. I told her about going back on an tapering off more slowly but was told "you can't do that, 2.5 is the lowest dose they make!" She gave me Mirtazapine instead. Took 3 doses for 3 different nights 3.75, 7.5, 15. None of which helped more than a few hours of sleep. At this point after reading this website about withdraws only improving by reinstating the original medicine I was scared to start a new medicine that might not even help, and seemed just as difficult to stop as the zyprexa. Dr then thought maybe the insomnia was caused by an adverse reaction to buspar after it started the first day I took it. Told me to stop CT and wait a few days to see if it helped. I did sleep for 8 hours one night a day after stopping but then could not sleep for 3 days. Called dr again and begged to go back on zyprexa. She finally agreed after we waited a few more days for buspar to get out of system. When I asked what dose to start the zyprexa with she was confused as she said 2.5 was the lowest dose. Decided to follow advise and wait a couple more days to see if it really was the buspar but ended up getting a horrific cold and reinstated zyprexa (after 1.5 months off) on my own without dr help (since she most likely would of had me just go back to 2.5) Started with .25 and actually started sleeping again for 4 days! But at this point my husband was over my struggles as it's now been over a month of hell and was pressuring me to get better by the end of the week (even though I had a legit cold, and know it takes time to stabilize). I got nervous about losing my family and thought I could try to increase a little from .25 to .5mg. Since I was sick my husband cut my pill, BUT not paying attention cut an old 5mg pill I still had in closet instead of the 2.5 giving me a full 2.5 dose. Ended up having an extreme bad reaction. Instead of calming me it made me crazy/manic/a touch akathia/ extreme stomach pains like and animal was trying to gnaw through it . Could not fall sleep but did eventually for 2 hours. Next night tried to go back down to .25 dose but same thing happened, just not AS bad, did not sleep and so after not sleeping the night before took a klonopin, and did sleep. Didn't take any medicine the next night since I was scared of the reactions (no sleep). Was considering stopping all together after reaction but tried 1/8 of dose the next night in the middle of the night when I could not sleep and did not have a reaction and even slept some. Tried 1/8 dose next night but did not sleep, no bad reaction to it but EXTREME anxiety over what this all means and what to do about dosing now. Had doctor appoint and this time brought my husband and mother along for support and explained everything that was going on. She seemed more on board this time with letting me reinstate at a small dose and was able to get a prescription for a liquid I got filled at a compounding pharmacy for .25 dose since I did sleep on that when I originally reinstated it. I was such a wreck from all the stress of trying to figure out right dose and feeling like my life was over (also I believe I started to experience new withdrawals from switching doses around and was starting to get very sick quickly) so at 6:30pm took .5 klonopin and then took the .25 dose. Ended up again having a small reaction after taking pill of slight panic/anxiety/akathia. Took an epson salt bath for 2 hours with some chamomile tea and actually calmed down to the point that I was actually sleepy and was able sleep all night long. Unsure how much of a role klonopin played in all that, but I imagine it must have helped. Where I find myself today. Dr said to give it time to work and see her next week. I am very concerned that our mistaken large up-dose made me hypersensitive to the medicine and will continue to have these reactions after taking it. My family of course does not understand any of this and thinks you can just take a pill and start to feel better, so that is adding to the stress. Once you become sensitive to a medicine like that, is it at all possible for your system to calm down and become stable again on it, or did we ruin that chance?? I feel like I finally figured it all all out, only it might be too little too late... my Dr finally on board agreeing to a small reinstatement at the lower dose, finding a compound pharmacy to do a liquid prescription, the plan to slowly taper off now, but worried I have ruined my chances. I feel now like I could not even stop taking the medicine without some sort of taper if I continue to have these type of reactions as I was already having new withdraw symptoms from just the week I played around with the doses. I wish I could back in time, and never took that accidental up-dose! I really felt at .25 since I was sleeping I could have stabilized and possibly salvaged my life. If I keep having these reactions I don't know what I will do. On the positive side, since the CT my stomach had been getting progressively worse, could not eat and suffering low bloodsugar drops, and since starting again is completely back to normal, so I am seeing some improvements to reinstating. I don't know if this is accurate but it feels like my body is in a battle. My CNS is clearly not happy what I have put it through and spazing out, but at the same time my brain is now already dependent on me being back the on medicine. Can my CNS eventually calm down and accept the .25 dose or did I loose my chance at a successful reinstatement for good?? Will giving it more time work like my dr said? Should I try to lower it some? I think the 1/8 dose was too low as I got withdraw going back down that low, even from such a short amount of time at the .25 and the accidental updose. Am I stuck on this medicine now not able to stop immediately and suffering ever time I take my dose needing a klonopin to counteract the medicine reaction for the rest of my taper? It's hard to think sometimes your life might be over from such a small mistake, so mentally this is destroying me.
  14. Hi. My story should maybe begin with med history I suppose. Back in 2017 I was hospitalized and put on trazadone, zoloft, and zyprexa. After only barely a year of this cocktail it was determined that I was too tired to function with trazadone and zyprexa caused an odd issue with blood sugar which required immediate discontinuation. After another year and a half of zoloft, I asked my PCP (primary care physician) to manage my meds and help me try something new. I was tired of driving to see my nurse practitioner, who formally managed them. My PCP suggested Paxil, and also placed me on imitrex for chronic migraines. She discontinued zoloft, she felt it was a low enough dose. Shocker. This was the end of January 2020, so covid was nearly upon us. After only one month of being on it she decided to bump it by 10mg, to 30mg. We also decided imitrex sucked so I got put on maxalt which I'm still on today. I felt as though it was helping me with irritability, which is a problem I've had for a long time. Paxil mellowed me out it seemed. It made me not really care much. All visits after February were done via zoom due to covid. In November of 2021 I was feeling at a wit's end with the increase in head pain frequency. Taking all 9 of your maxalts every month and having more migraines on top of it just sucked. I also was having more s******l ideations, I always have had passive ones but having more than usual was bothering me. She said she would add 10mg of amitriptyline because "it helps with migraines and mental health so it'll kill two birds with one stone". Well it seemed to help me sleep. However, I'd been slowly gaining weight while on paxil due to my low motivation and lack of caring... which I think amitriptyline just further encouraged. My pharmacist was a little concerned about the combination. She mentioned serotonin syndrome being a common issue, but my doctor said I'd be fine. Well I continued to just kinda suck things up, my fault, but I just really appreciated how chilled out I was. May 26th 2022 I go to my PCP in person because 1. I developed a twitch in my thumb, tendinitis from typing. 2. Because I finally got the courage to talk about my meds via pro con list. She determined the tendinitis, we got that fixed. However, when I wanted to address meds she actually cut me off and just started talking about my blood pressure and (obvious) 30 pound weight gain. This was the first time she's seen me since increasing the paxil, mind you. I understand her concern. My blood pressure was some kind of record high, I'll admit it was so high I couldn't believe it for my age. She said I needed to get blood work done asap and that after she looks at lab results THEN she will discuss meds. That Friday, may 27th I messaged her on mychart (she's nice about this) about my concern regarding med combination. I told her I was curious about whether paxil in combo with other meds could've been my reason for high blood pressure. She said "well, hold your paxil until you get your blood work and until I can get another blood pressure reading". LOL. I said sure thing, because what could ever go wrong. I got very sick, but got the labs done that next tuesday and sadly couldn't get my blood pressure done until that next Friday due to staffing issues at her clinic..I ended up having my work do it since we have nurses, and just messaged the bp read on mychart. Believe it or not my blood work was pretty emaculent. My blood pressure went down 30 points on systolic and 10 diastolic (idk if points if the right term) but still it was high. She messages me on Mychart that friday afternoon to say she got my results, and wanted me to continue "hold (not take) your paxil because I think it was affecting the blood pressure". Yay. She scheduled to see me June 10th to talk about a beta blocker if my blood pressure was still high. June 10th comes and she still wants me on a beta blocker, it's still high but going down slowly. I have tachycardia on top of it, so she was pretty concerned. I told her about my very horrible experience with paxil withdrawals, to which she said "you're the first to say that. I've never had a patient have a problem or get withdrawals from stopping paxil". So I said, well maybe I'm sensitive and reminded her about my zyprexa problem. I thought it kinda sucked to have her brush off my withdrawals that took two weeks to go away completely. =/ I ended up added omega 3 and magnesium to help with brain zaps, which actually helped me but I can't say how or why. She was fine with the new supplements and said I would now start atenolol (beta blocker). Scheduled me out to see her on June 24th. So I guess that's my story so far. My blood pressure is slowly but surely going down. I'm feeling more energy again, less headaches, less weird hyperthermia feeling, still some issues with motivation but still seeing small improvements. My concern is how my body will adjust to not having paxil in the long run. It very much wasn't good for me, and I feel bad for not getting it check out sooner but I really just didn't care enough at the time. It was kind of scary. I know CTing can have long term effects, but I also JUST started feeling somewhat normal again and don't want to go back to feeling addicted to paxil to ever return. I also just feel alone in this, if that makes sense?
  15. Hello all, thank you for all the amazingly helpful guidance and support given on this site. I’m new to this pill cutting lark. Olanzapine is teeny tiny…can someone recommend a pill cutter that cuts evenly and well please? I’ve so far managed to mangle a few with a rather flimsy pharmacy bought chopper!
  16. hi, Alto I went to a local pharmacy and they helped me to compound 2.5mg pill into 2.mg. but they changed it into a capsul form. would that make a difference. now my son is taking 2.5 pill and 2capsule. what you think. the pharmacist said it is fine.
  17. Hi, I would like to introduce myself as I’m new to the forum. I’m really glad I found this website – some really good information regarding withdrawal and can definitely see some of the characteristic signs of withdrawal in what I’ve experienced since reducing some of my psychiatric medication. So to give you a bit of background about what drove me to investigate adverse effects to psychiatric medication – both being on it and trying to get off it! (Sorry it’s a bit long!). It all started with a psychotic episode that I endured for 3 months before finally getting help. I know that I needed some treatment – I wasn’t getting better on my own and I was struggling to live my life not to mention being scared out of my wits most of the time. I have no problem with the fact that I needed psychiatric medicine to intervene at this time. I was put on mirtazapine as the doctors put my symptoms down to depression. I started sleeping again which I hadn’t been doing for more than 2 – 3 hours a night for over 3 months. Very quickly the worst of the psychotic symptoms – the paranoia, fear of being in the house and the worst of the voices went away and I started living my life again. However, I still had some residual voices which I wanted to get rid of. I saw a psychiatrist and he prescribed aripiprazole and this is where everything started to go downhill. I wish I had just lived with the voices as they weren’t very bad (certainly nothing like when I was first ill.) and I felt good on the mirtazapine. The aripiprazole made me extremely depressed and gave me bad anxiety. The psych tried upping my dose of mirtazapine to 45mg to combat this. This left me extremely agitated and unable to sleep at all for days so I reduced it back down. I decided to taper off the aripiprazole. For a whole month after reducing the aripiprazole I had the worst suicidal depression I have ever had, which took me back to the psychiatrist. He changed my medication completely – taking me off the mirtazapine which had worked initially and putting me on sertraline and olanzapine. This, also has been a disaster. I wish I had just ridden out the depression after the aripiprazole which I expect was withdrawal symptoms. I think the sertraline gave me anxiety, although I would have a few good days here and there, so just thought the dose needed increasing. Ended up on 200mg sertraline and 7.5mg olanzapine for good measure. I was so anxious I was having trouble just talking to people about very mundane things, as well as days of bad depression, punctuated by a few good days here and there. I also still had some voices so the anti-psychotic wasn’t that helpful anyway. Eventually the inability to live my life properly made me suicidal and I told the psychiatrist that we needed to do something. I wanted to go back onto mirtazapine and get off the sertraline. He wouldn’t take me off the sertraline but did agree to add mirtazapine back into the mix so I was on 200mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine and 7.5mg olanzapine. I definitely improved with the addition of the mirtazapine but still felt the sertraline was doing more harm than good so set about reducing it once I had stabilised after the addition of the mirtazapine. I reduced from 200 down to 50mg over the course of 6 weeks – back in January 2019. Way too fast. Have been experiencing waves of severe depression and crying spells (although these are getting less intense) and windows where I have felt better. Generally apart from the nasty waves I feel much better than I did when on 200mg sertraline. Have also decreased the olanzapine to 5mg which resulted in 6 weeks of extreme fatigue and severe depression again. Ironically, since the addition of the mirtazapine and in combination with the olanzapine the voices have nearly gone. My aim is to get off the sertraline completely and also get off the olanzapine, which makes me very tired and lacking in motivation. I am holding for the moment as we are due to go on holiday in 5 weeks time and I don’t want to have any nasty withdrawal symptoms to deal with. I would like to do the remainder of the reductions with your support as doing it with people who understand what you are going through will, I reckon, make it a whole lot easier. I look forward to interacting with you all.
  18. Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.
  19. I took Ativan since march 2020, I just began tapering since 2 month, (after a try 6 months a go). I get very intense waves of anxiety but what bothers me is the chest pain (left side most of time). I went to cardiologist twice, they said you heart is okay but I keep get very anxious because of it. Does anyone relate to that?? Thanks
  20. Hello, I am Shors and I am in very bad spot and have an extremely serious case due to Zyprexa misuse, and pre zyprexa insomnia. I recognize that this case is rather complex, and that there are many aspects of this case that require me to see neurologists and such, but if you could take the time to read it yourself and provide your own input that would be great as I am very inexperienced and novice. I have had insomnia for about a year before taking zyprexa, and about four years before the original insomnia developed I was neglecting my sleep (mostly in high school). This, in total, five year period of worsening sleep created for me memory problems independent of olanzapine. I believe these memory problems are mostly due to a lack of energy from no sleep, as I've experience great improvements in memory when I have managed to get rest. So the neglect of sleep began in 2014, wake up insomnia developed in mid 2018, and I was sent to the psych ward in late 2019 to be put on zyprexa. I would say also that the memory problems started to happen around 2016, but I didn’t notice them until I got my first job in 2017. I was really terrible at it because it required me to remember many things at a time. I was in the psych ward for two weeks, and immediately stopped taking my cocktail of drugs except for the zyprexa (unknown dose) when I was released because it helped me sleep. I took the zyprexa for two more weeks but stopped, however, due to the terrible effects. I was completely unaware about the severe withdrawal effect of insomnia though, and if I was aware of It probably could have been zyprexa free at this point. I just didn't think that increased severe insomnia was due to zyprexa since I had already been experiencing insomnia before then. Attributing mainly weight loss and memory problems as the main problems to the drug, I would continue to unknowingly suffer withdrawal induced insomnia for the following months. In this period I would continue to work with my psych to get different sleeping pills. Ambien, Restoril, etc. and they did not work. The psych I was with (and am still currently with) was really careless, and he just played along and let me take whatever pills I wanted to take. In a new town and picked up a night job, and desperate to find any kind of drug that could put me to sleep, I eventually was prescribed one bottle (likely 10mg) of olanzapine again by the local clinic. I took it inconsistently, 5-10 days in between (since I was able to sleep fine in the inbetween days of doses) and sometimes weeks apart, but the one bottle I was prescribed then lasted a good bit. Eventually I could not take the night job after only four months working there and I moved back home. Without Zyprexa I suffered intensely, and for maybe a couple months after finishing that bottle I started to experience nausea and vomiting. It was at this time that I started to complain about the symptoms to my primary care provider, who never once thought that these could be withdrawal symptoms. She referred me to get mris done, neuropsych, all said that things were normal. I mistakenly thought that the nausea was caused by a circadian rhythm disorder and desperate to rid myself of these symptoms, I asked my psych to be put back on Zyprexa again (10mg). Back to the sleep induced memory problems, it seems as though for this entire five year period, whenever I do not get sleep or good quality sleep for an extended period of time, that I start to shut down. I become mentally slow, cannot socialize, unable to think, etc. and this is without zyprexa. For the period in which I started to experience nausea and vomiting for the first time, this is especially true. When I took zyprexa that time and got the rest I needed, it really helped and restored me back to working order. That did not mean I wasn't cautious about the effects, I took it only for about 3 weeks to give me my energy back and then began taking it inconsistently again. The main reason for the inconsistency (again) was to minimize the side effects, of weight gain and memory problems, and that I would continue to sleep well for some days after each dose. This continued to go well for me until around . As I've become dependent on Zyprexa, I have gotten less and less sleep over time, and slowly because of this my memory problems have gotten ever so worse. Up to this point, this would make about one year of total Zyprexa use, inconsistent or consistent, and I would say maybe 4-6 months worth of bottles. I believe that my memory, independently of zyprexa, has dipped to a new low, because of my memory I cannot enjoy music, movies, books, studying, socialization, or even work. This will greatly affect how I will start my recovery process from zyprexa. At this point I was deciding which options I would take for my recovery process. The options for me would have been this: Quitting cold turkey, would not have worked as I would have experienced terrible memory loss from the sleep deprivation Inconsistent tapering, this might have worked but my memory could have also worsened as I was sleeping less on the in between days of taking meds. Take zyprexa or a month or two to restore sleep and get some more energy Continuous taper Cross tapering by introducing other sleeping medications, doing this with an inconsistent taper with olanzapine would have added a world of complexity for me Quit cold turkey and then take other sleeping meds, but understandably this would end in disaster The option I eventually chose was to do a long continuous taper with a reduction of my dose of 10% a month, with making 5% reductions a possibility when I get to the lower doses. I understand that this might not have been the best idea when for my past years I have only ever been taking it inconsistently. I don’t really know how this might have affected me so some of your input would be welcome. I am down to 5.8 mg at this point and am continuing with this taper. My method of tapering involves crushing my tablets with a pill crusher, putting them inside gelatin capsules, and weighting the capsules on a drug scale. Making whatever adjustments are necessary by adding, removing the powder from the capsule until I get the exact weight measurement right. I would also have to reiterate that my memory problems are severe at this point. I forget many things in normal conversation when I talk to people. It's near impossible for me to read books or watch movies. I am getting a neuropsych test done soon. it seems like, even though I've had memory problems for a good 6 years, they only ever became a problem until these past 2 years, where I cannot study or do basic things in life. If I ever recover, a full recovery is not what I'm asking for. Just enough to let me have the quality of life I want.
  21. Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.
  22. Hi, My name is Naomi, I live in Canada I am in withdrawal from poly drugged over 31 years I am presenting off all meds except one as of November 4th-2020 I experience intrusive thoughts, hyper awareness of my body and thoughts, scary panic and anxiety, mood swings, fear, fear, fear Question my sanity every day Never had this before in my life Looking for connection with others experiencing withdrawal and any tips to survive this Feel trapped inside my mind and scared of self I am also going through Peri menopause which is making things very complicated I also lost the light of my life daughter June 2019 Hanging on Thank you Naomi History Anafranil 1990-2000 Paxil Cipralex Zoloft 2020 - after taking expired amoxicillin, developed severe insomnia, Spiralled - 2x hospitalization, poly drugged, Benzos, sleeping pills, paxil, cipralex, trazodone, olanzapine, luvox, elavil, everything made me worse Presently taking Olanazpine 0.9mg for sleep Melatonin 3mg for sleep Vit D
  23. I have OCD and because of it I have some sleeping problems . My doctor put on olanzapine 5 mg and zopiclone 7.5 mg(sleeping pill) . Olanzapine gave me some bad side effects like problems thinking , with memory , anhedonia ,suicidal ideation and finally decided to quit .I still find difficult to focus on studies but I hope for the better .I took it for about two weeks and in the second week a bit randomly . I have one week since I stopped and apart from some sleep difficulties and some sleep hallucinations (which last night i didn't have them at all) I am quite ok . I also take suppliments like multivitamins( magnesium, thiamin , niacin , vitamin C, B 6 , B12 ...etc). Reading the stories on this forum made me sad and worried . Right now I am bit confused in the sense that i do not know if what i am going through are withdrawals or not. The reason why I am on this forum is to ask for an advice on what to do if the things are getting worse . I know nothing about the taper method at that time and now I wonder if would be ok to taper just in case the withdrawals are coming and they're going to be unbearable. How is it safe to taper from 2weeks of 5 mg . I've read about the 10% in four weeks rule but that applies to my situation also? Would be sad to live in that state for so long . Please help! my timeline with olanzapine and zopiclone 28 ian 2021 - 4 feb - 5 mg ( on 31 feb I also took 7.5 mg zopiclone) 5 feb - off 6 feb -5 mg 7 feb -5 mg + 7.5 mg zopiclone 8 feb -2.5 mg 9 feb - 2.5 mg 10 feb 3/4 of 5 mg 11 feb - off 12 feb 5 mg 13 feb - 7.5 mg Zopiclone 14 feb - 7.5 mg Zopiclone
  24. Hi guys, I’ve been doing some research into histamine since I believe it plays a very key role in the withdrawal process--at least from the medications that I’m on. I will summarise what I’ve found below as well as the potential impact it could have on managing the withdrawal from antipsychotics such as Zyprexa/Seroquel. I searched this forum but couldn’t find any good overview or discussion, so hoping this can help people. Many of the popular antipsychotics such as Olanzapine/Zyprexa and Seroquel/Quetiapine have a very powerful antihistamine effect: only a very small amount of these medications are required to block the H1 Histamine receptor. Zyprexa, for example, has a Ki(nM) of 0.65–4.9 according to Wikipedia, which is incredibly low (the lower the Ki(nM), the smaller the amount of a medication is needed to block a certain receptor). Therefore, withdrawing from histamine-blocking medications (Zyprexa/Seroquel) is associated with increased histamine (as the blocking effect is reduced, histamine levels become elevated). Certain groups of people might have even had a histamine intolerance and/or high histamine before going on psych-drugs (and both histamine intolerance and high histamine--also related to under-methylation--have been linked to psychosis and other psychiatric disorders), so coming off histamine-blocking medications can also exacerbate this pre-existing imbalance, on top of the effect described in the point above. Histamine is a neuromodulator of the adrenals, so elevated histamine can make the adrenals release a lot more adrenaline, instigate ‘fight or flight’ mode in the body and cause severe anxiety. There is also a strong link between histamine and sleep; having high histamine can cause insomnia. Interestingly, histamine levels naturally peak around 3am/4am, which is when many people experience cortisol spikes and unwanted adrenal activity. Sound familiar? All of these symptoms are very common in the withdrawal process, as we unfortunately know. When withdrawing from histamine-blocking medications, you can take steps to bring down histamine levels to help manage the adverse effects mentioned above. I’ve found anecdotal success stories online from the world of integrative medicine; Alice Lee (MD) says: “If you ever want to successfully reduce a medication that blocks histamine receptors, you will need to know how to lower histamine levels.” Lowering histamine levels can be done through a combination of diet and supplementation: 1) Follow a low-histamine diet (google it for more info!) 2) Through supplementation - taking a histamine digester that ‘chews up the histamine in food’ - Alice Lee recommends Histazyme (by Dr. Amy Myers, MD), but I’ve also seen Daosin 50 and other brands which all contain the same ingredient, Daimine Oxidase 3) Supplementation - natural histamine blockers like Allqlear by Integrative Therapeutics, Histaplex A-B by Biotics Research, or Opsin II by DesBio. Avoid xenobiotics for antihistamine support, such as Benadryl, because the body will react with an inflammatory response to a xenobiotic. I know that this kind of integrative approach is generally a dirty word on this forum, but for me it makes too much sense to ignore. Most of this advice comes from Alice Lee, who is a “holistic psychiatrist” who actually went through the withdrawal process herself, and reports impressive success stories weaning her clients off all kinds of medication (APs, ADs), just check the testimonials on her website TL;DR: I’m going to try a low histamine diet (being more careful around the time when I make a cut to my medication), as well as adding some of the anti-histamine supplements and histamine digesters. I will still be tapering using the 10% method. If anyone else has research or real experience in this area, I would be very curious to hear it. I think it is a very under-recognised factor and understanding more could potentially make for a smoother withdrawal. I'm also conscious that it's only one piece in the puzzle, and there are other receptors to tackle too. But for insomniac, Zyprexa-dependent folks like myself, it could be really key. More reading and links to the success stories can be found here: http://www.holisticpsychiatrist.com/viewpoint/2018/6/7/understanding-histamines-connection-to-mental-health and http://www.holisticpsychiatrist.com/medication-withdrawal/ https://beyondmeds.com/2014/07/13/histamine-psych-drugs/ and https://beyondmeds.com/2013/01/07/histamine-intolerance/ from around 33 mins https://www.mthfrsupport.com.au/dao-deficiency-and-histamine-the-unlikely-connection/
  25. I've been on 10mg of Olanzapine (zyprexa) for over a year now. I didn't take the time to research this drug when I was prescribed it and thought it was a miracle. It ended my drug-inducded psychosis immediately and provided me with sleep for what felt like the first time in my life. It no longer provides me with the ability to sleep. It's not that I feel like I've lost these things, I actually have lost them: I've lost my intellect, my creativity, my ability to learn and retain new information, my ability to play music, my libido, the list is endless. I'm afraid the damage is permanent. I am 100% physically dependent on this substance. If I don't take it I feel anxiety immediately and can't sleep (not that I'm sleeping well as is); I've never missed a dose for longer than 24 hours. I am incredibly frustrated with myself for enabling my addictive personality to take this drug without thinking about the consequences I now face. I really thought I was "cured". But now I know I'm looking at likely worsening symptoms and possibly return to psychosis on top of withdrawal, increase in insomnia, anxiety, and depression. And who knows what other physical or mental side effects will persist or appear or worsen as I start to get off this drug. I'm going to try to jump from 10 to 7.5mg. I have an appointment tomorrow and I'm going to discuss tapering immediately. I can't seem to find [m]any success stories of people getting off this soul-destroying drug and I fear I've basically ruined the rest of my life by starting this drug. I am 100 percent positive I will relapse on alcohol either as I taper or when full withdrawal hits and I quit entirely. I really don't even care if I do, I just want to get off this bullsh*t. I may even drink my way through a rapid taper. I'd rather drink for a few months and withdraw from alcohol with a librium taper than continue on this med. I mean, thats how I feel, I can't say with any certainty what I will or won't do. Either way, I need to get off this poison before it robs me of any more of who I am. I've just read it literally decreases the size of our brains after 36 weeks by over 1% and up to 10%, which is far more than the average human loses in their entire lifetime. I'm upset, scared, feeling hopeless. Feel like I face an insurmountable task. Like I've ruined my mind, my spirit, my body. Just incredibly disappointed in myself. I mean I'm already incredibly anxious and depressed, I can't imagine things getting much worse, but here I am. Any hope, insight, success stories, etc...would be greatly appreciated because I feel like I'm ruined. Also a taper schedule would be nice. Ideally I can just do it in 2.5mg drops as I'd rather not deal with a syringe or micro-dosing. Thanks.
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