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  1. Hi, I have a long history (18 years) of psych drug usage and have been on antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilisers. I recently (1 month ago) started Zyprexa again because I had a crisis, and this time it didn't really work as well as it had in the past. I took 10mg and I passed out and felt awful and later was admitted to a private hospital, where various other drugs were added. I am now on 2.5mg Zyprexa and would like to get off it because I am pre-diabetic. Given that I have only been on it for a month, is a 25% reduction per week ok? I have withdrawn off it before and I am petrified. I feel in general that my mental health has declined quite a bit this year, so I am not sure if I could handle the withdrawal. Having said that though, going off it gives me hope that I will feel better and have my cognition back. Is this a realistic expectation? Zyprexa withdrawal is very rough. And unfortunately Zyprexa has affected my memory quite a bit. I am quite confused too at the moment, because I have seen too many shrinks and they all have different diagnosis and views for me. My shrink of 18 years pretty much gave up on me recently because I discharged against his advice from a private hospital where he consulted. I only did this because he wanted to start me on Abilify to replace the Zyprexa and after one dose, I had horrible side effects which he didn't believe. My life is in a complete mess at the moment and I am very sad at what psych drugs have done to me :__( Thanks Rico
  2. Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.
  3. Hi there, I am hoping to be able to leverage the wisdom of this community to shed some light into my personal situation and help decide possible courses of action. The only people I can speak to in real life about this are my well-meaning family/friends (who think Doctors have all the answers) and my psychiatrist/doctor/psychologist who only respond with medication-related suggestions. Up until this point I have been relatively ill-informed of the pitfalls of withdrawing from psychiatric drugs and I’ve clearly made some big errors along the way. However, my goal (like many I’m sure) is to be drug-free but of course this isn’t something my psychiatrist supports. I am sorry in advance this is such an essay. [And apologies for all bold - my javascript bold function is broken!] About me: I’m a 30 year old British female living in Amsterdam, with a full-time job in Marketing. Where it all began: Just over 5 years ago, at age 25, I experienced a very intense mania with extreme psychosis and was hospitalised. The psychosis was triggered by a melange of stress, diet, lack of sleep and smoking a joint (which I used to do regularly in my teens and 20s with no ill-effects). In the psychiatric ward I was given Olanzapine at 7.5mg dose and gradually over a few weeks, the psychotic symptoms disappeared, and I was discharged. My doctor gave me the loose diagnosis as either Schizophrenia or Bipolar I, but was leaning towards Bipolar--so that’s what I’ve stuck with (but to be honest I’m not sure if it’s correct). After my discharge, I reduced the Olanzapine from 7mg to 5mg and then to 2.5mg over the next few months, and stopped taking Olanzapine completely since the side effects of weight gain and libido loss were not tolerable (with my Doctor’s blessing). For a few months, all was well, until I started getting insomnia, characterised by heart palpitations, feeling of mini panic attacks when trying to fall asleep (and therefore not being able to drift to sleep), and very poor quality sleep when I did manage to sleep. My psych recommended I try taking Seroquel instead, and started me off on 700mg per night. The (Good) Seroquel Years Over the next 4 years, I led a perfectly normal and healthy life--even moved to a new country and changed my job--taking Seroquel with minimal side effects. I managed to reduce the Seroquel from 700mg down to 100mg over 2-3 years, and was feeling better and better the lower the dose (with much less sedation and grogginess the lower the dose). I also switched to a vegan diet & cut down on booze and partying in this time which also helped a lot! Finally, I went from 100mg to 50mg around May 2017, and still felt no adverse affects (only positive improvements). My only concern was the niggling fear that I had become dependent on the Seroquel for sleep. The Disruption - coming off Seroquel cold turkey and switching to Olanzapine In August 2017, completely out of the blue, I suddenly stopped being able to sleep. What then followed was a few months of terrible broken sleep and heavy reliance on Zopiclone (alternating nights) to be able to keep up appearances at work, do my job and maintain normality. My therapist at the time suggested I increase the dose of Seroquel to counter the insomnia, so in October, I moved back up to 100mg Seroquel (occasionally 150mg). This worked a treat for the insomnia, however I suddenly started experiencing very regular involuntary muscle movements (more than a twitch, less than a jerk, around 2x per minute in all different areas of my body), and became very worried this was Tardive Dyskinesia. My Doctor (I didn’t have a psychiatrist at this point) told me I should stop the Seroquel immediately, since this was a serious side effect. I quickly got referred to a psychiatrist, who put me on Olanzapine 5mg instead. The twitching stopped, the sleep was fine, but I hated being on Olanzapine (heavily sedated/low mood/very withdrawn/binge eating/weight gain etc.). Recent struggles with Olanzapine After 2 months on 5mg Olanzapine and its shi*tty side effects, I halved the dose to 2.5mg and stayed on that for 6 weeks with no WD, but annoyingly only a very light reduction in the side effects. Complaining to my psychiatrist, she suggested I try the antipsychotic Abilify (10mg) instead, and told me to switch directly (a hard stop of Olanzapine!). Abilify does not block histamine receptor like Olanzapine and Seroquel, and it did nothing for my insomnia. My sleep started to deteriorate the second I stopped taking Olanzapine, and as soon as it was fully out of my system my insomnia returned with a vengeance - I was not able to sleep without Zopiclone, and even with Zopiclone I would only get 4 hours sleep then get woken up by loud, piercing tinnitus and moderate anxiety. I managed to live like this for only 10 nights, some nights getting no sleep at all, other nights getting less than 4 hours with Zopiclone. Annoyingly all the Olanzapine side effects stopped and I felt great, except for the crippling insomnia which stopped me functioning. I gave in and reluctantly switched back to Olanzapine, which almost brings us to the present moment. Where I'm at Today Ever since going back on the Olanzapine (2.5mg), my sleep problems haven’t really gone away: I can get off to sleep fine, but keep getting woken up by the piercing tinnitus and ‘high energy’ around 4am; often I can’t get back to sleep. I’ve tried increasing the Olanzapine back up to 5mg and that isn’t helping much. Before anyone goes there, my sleep hygeine is pretty good. I've also stopped drinking alcohol completely and have a regular bedtime of 10pm. Now I am starting to panic that not even Olanzapine can help me live a normal life. I am plagued by the fear that I am dependent on Olanzapine to get any sleep and that beneath it lies an incurable insomnia. Regardless, I cannot fathom living my life long-term on Olanzapine and I need an escape plan to give me hope (even if I’m not ready to come off it yet). Where I could use some guidance: >> I am not sure if a lot of what I am experiencing with regards to the insomnia is related to withdrawal, even though I am still on the Olanzapine - is that possible? OR is it more likely that my insomnia is the beginnings of psychosis/schizophrenia and therefore I need antipsychotics to not be psychotic. >> Clearly, I’ve messed up my system somehow with all the medication switching and dose changes (none of the reductions have been that gradual). Is there a good strategy to get me back on track? >> Has anyone had any luck with undergoing biochemical nutrient therapy to help support their taper? This is something I'm looking into. >> (Not really a question) I just find the prospect of tapering and inevitably re-living through insomnia for a sustained period of time incredibly impossible, especially with a full-time job. I just don’t know how anyone does it... I can barely last a week - and I also have the threat of having another psychosis &hospitalisation being induced by insomnia. I realise my situation is not that extreme at the moment, but I am already losing hope and am in a pretty dark place with depressive thoughts about my prospects. I am not sure how I will manage mentally and physically if things get worse (which I suspect they inevitably will). Thank you in advance for reading this far.
  4. Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.
  5. Hi! My story, feel free to skip it, it's long - as a child I had allergy problems, was a frequent user of various antihistamine drugs, as well as corticosteroids. At 12 I had a psychotic outbreak, coupled with severe depression, outbursts of crying, apathy, I was briefly hospitalised after a suicide attempt, diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on risperidone. During the next 3 years I was put on other antipsychotics, as the risperidone wasn't making any difference, at 14 years old I was put on olanzapine, also around that time the psychosis passed and things began looking up. I was home-schooled at that time. At 15 I tried quitting cold turkey, I was told by my doctor - and that is the only doctor out of the many I've dealt with that acknowledged such thing as withdrawal existed, that is if I understood her correctly - that I had to withdraw it during the course of several months or else I could seriously harm myself. She actually didn't necessarily have to mean that, since later on I was told by other doctors that the tapering is recommended only so that the doctor can observe the patient and prevent a potential relapse (they also recommended weeks, not months long taper). So at 15 all hell broke lose, sadly since I didn't have any information to act on then, despite the whole thing seeming slightly fishy, I assumed it was the illness returning. I experienced low body temperature, psychosis, anxiety, depression, tiredness and muscle weakness. At 17 I attempted the second cold turkey withdrawal, mostly because I'd switched to Abilify and it gave me an unmanageable stomachache. That withdrawal put me out of school for a year, also I experienced severe psychosis + the other symptoms, and sinusitis. After that withdrawal I was put on amisulpride and shortly afterwards zoloft, which was my mother's suggestion, to offset the depression she assumed was caused by the drug. Things stabilised after that, I moved to London from my native country, and managed to enroll on a course. And then I tried withdrawing again, because things seemed so good. Around that time also I stumbled on a Guardian article by Joanna Montcrieff about the possibility of drug withdrawal mimicking illness. But the thought of withdrawing a drug for a year or longer seemed really outlandish, I just took a month. The third withdrawal hit me real hard, this time it was amisulpride + zoloft, I was really half conscious at that time, an extremely lethal state, I had to go back home and quit my course, I also got in debt, because higher education isn't free in the UK. So, feeling a bit desperate I decided to give the year long withdrawal a go. Because amilsulpride throughout the time I took it, was causing massive akathisia (my doctor persuaded me to stay on it because it was in his opinion so motivating), I switched to olanzapine again. I actually initially tried taking amisulpride, but the leg restlessness made me unable to sleep or do anything else for that matter, it was even worse than before. I know people suggest tapering by 10% of the previous dose, but tapering for 7 years would have driven me insane, so I just did 10% of the original dose every 2 weeks. And it worked, after 10 months my motivation, intelligence, great deal of pleasure and consciousness returned, no psychosis, just lots of nausea and some anxiety when tapering, a bit of a psychotic state somewhere along the way, but it passed quickly. Also the gastrointestinal symptoms went away, they'd been bothering me ever since that hospitalisation, and the doctors kept telling me it was most likely the leaky gut syndrome. Looking back, it was also really funny when a renown psychiatrist in this country told me about there being two groups of people suffering from schizophrenia (or taking antipsychotics), one helplessly ill, whom drugs can only calm down and who need to be constantly hospitalised and locked away, and the other drug, who thrive on these medicines, but can't live without them. I'm also fairly sure that one of those anti-allergy drugs caused the first state to begin with, it was really too similar to the later withdrawals (also scientists openly admit now to the possibility of corticosteroids causing psychosis). So now, about a year later, I'm through withdrawing the zoloft, but it has been way more painful than withdrawing olanzapine, extremely painful. No psychosis during that withdrawal, but massive allergy attacks, muscle pain, low body temperature, weakness, nausea, one anxiety attack. And towards the very end I had horrible insomnia, very little sleep for a few consecutive days, and I just had to do the silliest thing, that is, still thinking about drugs the way I'd thought before, I took 80 milligrams of hydroxyzine without checking what receptors it affected (just thought about it as a sleeping pill). It did help the insomnia, also relieved a lot of the pain, but here I am, a week after stopping the drug, and I'm getting a really bad case of deregulated histamine system. So, my questions is, has anyone here experienced a rather brutal SSRI withdrawal like this one, possibly also taking such a large dose of hydrox (which affects two of the same receptors SRRIs affect), and if and when did the post-withdrawal symptoms pass. I'm getting really bad low body temperature, fluctuating between 36.0 and 36.4, bouts of sleepiness and really unpleasant joint/muscle pain. I know histamine controls body temperature, sleep, cognition and pain sensitivity and so I've just been worried the one, but large dose of hydroxyzine has messed this up. It's been almost a week and it is probably too early to tell whether this will pass, but I can't help but worry about it. The withdrawal is still definitely better than the last time, in a month, and much worse than withdrawing the AP (when I got some intense anxiety states towards the end, but neither anything this intense during most of the time spent withdrawing or afterwards). It could be either caused by the shorter half-life of Zoloft, or the fact that it is the second and last drug and their functioning overlaps (they affect some of the same receptors, for instance they are both histamine and adrenaline agonists). Thanks in advance.
  6. Hello! Am like a sitting duck here okay. Am almost 2 years off of olanzapine and quality of life has improved latley. Howerer the pollen is at its extreme right now and am having big time issues. Olanzapine is a strong antihistamine which acts on H1. Antihistamine for pollen allergies acts on H1. Can one take small doses of antihistamine (desloratadine) if its the one that doesnt cross the blood barrier to the CNS(?) Very much appreciated.
  7. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  8. I am posting this on behalf of my husband who is quite unwell. I am in a very vunerable place watching my husband deteriorate so please be kind. We are in our 60's and have never experienced anything like this. My husband was administered antidepressants for depression over 30 years ago and has remained on antidepressants all this time. I cannot recall what they started him on but maybe 8 years ago he was moved to Effexor XR 75mg. When it was increased to 150mg - we noticed a lack of feeling and low libido. We discussed the idea of coming off the Effexor XR and did this with the aid of high quality supplements - tapering by reducing the beads over a year. There were horrible side effects - nausea, high anxiety and then the concentration started to be impacted. After six months of being off the Effexor XR he deteriorated very quickly to the point where he became Psychotic and he couldn't get his brain to think how to get himself into the shower. It was like his brain had frozen. He kept saying I am losing it! Unfortunately he was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward where they administered 10mg Olanzepine and 75mg Effexor XR then increased it up to 150mg. He was released after three weeks. He was on Olazepine for about three months and the Psychiatrist reduced him off that. Because he is still not stable the Psychiatrist was not sure whether to increase or reduce his medication. He has gone for the latter and we are administering 112mg every other day at around 10am this is our 3rd day (eg 150mg one day 112mg the next and so on). I am monitoring him closely and notice that he is so much more responsive in the morning and quite normal, although says he feels really tired. His memory and concentration has been affected. He has blurred vision. After his medication is given I notice he begins pacing, not as responsive to talking and becomes quite anxious. The Psychiatrist says he has had a relapse and has major depression. I don't know who to believe anymore but I just want my husband well again. Please help?
  9. Hello fellow withdrawers (if that's a word), I'm Bokart and I'm here on a journey to quit my medication of Olanzapine. Down to 7,5 mg at the moment (see my signature). My story short: back in February 2015 I got admitted in psych ward due to psychosis (due to my destroyed sleep because of my night-shift work). There began my involuntary medication of Olanzapine, which pulled me out of a psychosis, so at least it did some good. I was released from the hospital after two weeks of being there. Now, after jojoing with my olanzapine dose (see signature), I'm finally set to quit it for good. I found this community after searching for succesfull withdrawal stories on the internet and found this community to be great, people being helpful and supportive and giving good advice... I know it can get rough when I approach smaller doses so I do know I will need support. And hopefully I can give support too and offer people hope after and during my taper. I know lots of people are in the same boat as me. Why I want to quit? I got no sexuality anymore, my motivation lacks big time, even personal hygiene is suffering because of that. I can't memorize things like before - learning is difficult. I have very little emotions left in me, basically I'm a dumbed down version of myself nowadays with this drug. I have little social skills - which I would badly need because I plan on working with children in school so some situational awareness is needed (I might have to quit my studies due to me making no progress in my studies... due to this drug). No happines, no enjoying things, lethargy and demotivation... About my psychosis, after it was gone I haven't had any symptoms of it returning (like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations), even after trying to quit my drug cold turkey once, which I see as a good sign. Now I don't want to slip into psychosis again so I need to be extra careful with my taper. After I hit 5,625 mg I will go on tapering by feeling, so no reductions until I feel stable enough. My main concern is sleep. I have a prescribed medication of temazepam (a benzodiazepine), which I can use when my insomnia has hit a threshold of needing immediate attention. I'm trying to limit my use of it to every three days to prevent tolerance and dependence (I know benzodiazepine withdrawals can be bad). But the thing is, lack of sleep led me to psychosis once, so it is a big deal to me. I need at least one night on a while to hit at least 4 hours of uniterrupted sleep, which 40 mg of temazepam does. I've tried many other sleep aids such as low to medium dose of quietiapine (no effect), low to medium dose of levomepromazine (didn't help), low dose of doxepine (no effect), even melatonine and l-tryptophan and 5-htp and none of those helped. One thing that helped me though was phenibut combined with temazepam - I slept 13 hours with that combination! So I know I have an emergency brakes on my train now (assuming that combination works again, haven't taken phenibut in 2 months to avoid tolerance and dependency), but I'm planning on limiting the use of this combination to once a month. On this dose of 7,5mg I'm currently having 2-3 hours of good uninterrupted sleep plus 3-4 hours of bad, constantly waking up kind of sleep So, thank you all for being here! And I wish a speedy recovery to those who are withdrawing from their drugs, we are all here together.
  10. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  11. Hi, I have been on olanzapine since December 2014 (2.5 years). I started at 10 mgs, then went to 5 mgs after 2 months. I then dropped to 2.5 mgs. Last August, I started 1.25 mgs day and stayed there until July 2017. I am now doing .625 mg/day since July 6. I am cutting this from a 5 mg pill. I am on no other medications. I stopped seeing my psychiatrist last Aug. I lost my insurance then. I have been doing really well and feel like I will be ok coming off. Even when I was seeing the doctor, I told him I could not stay on this forever as I've gained 30 lbs and I am afraid of diabetis, the dulled effect to my personality and other side-effects. I lapsed into a depression that lasted a few months when dropping under 2.5 mg. I felt with absolute certainty that it was caused from tapering down the medication and not a return of any illness. The depression lifted suddenly back in the spring and I've felt more like my old self than I have in years. The only side-effect I seem to have right now from the taper is difficulty sleeping some nights. It's not every night...probably 3 nights a week that I wake up several times in the night. I don't know where to put my question but I'd like to know if anyone has successfully come off olanzapine (Zyprexa) and when they did the final jump. I am taking such a small crumb of pill that I don't think I can cut it anymore. I am thinking that my next step will be to do .625 every other night. I feel happier today than I ever did while on olanzapine. It depressed the heck out of me and blunted my emotions greatly. I look at this tiny crumb I take every night and wonder if it is doing anything at all. Can anyone direct me where to go to post my questions? Thank you!
  12. Hi. I was at psyc ward after psychosis and my sleep was not perfect so i was put on zyprexa. I accepted to get out of there. I was on 20mg 2days then 10mg for 10days until i was released. When released I stopped cold turkey and and waited 3-4weeks before withdrawals came. Worst was my complete insomnia.. didnt sleep for 7 days so i had to reinstate. I went back on last dose 10mg. Immediately i felt it was a bad idea but i had to sleep. i tried to taper it off over a month. I had all side effects you could think so finally I just stopped again and used sleep pills to beat insomnia. Problem now 6months later(stopped oct2015) is that i still have insomnia. barely sleeps at all(1-4hrs) What advice do you guys have? From what ive read, this forum advice me to start on a small dose and taper from there am i right? I really dont want to reinstate since it slmost killed me but i dont know how to solve this either..
  13. Hello everybody, I am new on this forum. Hopefully I filled all pieces of information into my signature so you can read it. I would like to ask you for help, what to do in my situation. I had to reinstate 50mg Amitriptyline (I tapered too fast to 19mg within 3 months - February - May2018). I had to be hospitalized (June 2018) because I lost a lot of weight and was really weak. They added another medication, so I have been using today: - 50mg of Amitriptyline - 50mg of Valdoxan for 8weeks - 10mg Olanzapine since 21st June, lowered to 7,5mg since July14th My question is, what would you do next with Olanzapine? I feel - a lot of inner vibrations - restlessness - fatique during first part of the day, till 2-3pm - constipation (and gut pains) Olanzapine helped with my anxiety, but unfortunatelly only during first 3 weeks, today I have anxiety back, every morning a lot of cortisol and adrenaline So I would like to quit Olanzapine, as I read horrible storries about withdrawing this drug after months or years of use. But I don´t know what to do? Quit it as soon as possible? Or do a slow taper within next weeks eventhough I was on it only for couple of weeks (in total 5weeks today)? What would be your recommendation? I apologize for my English, I am not a native speaker. Thank you
  14. jonathangalack

    jonathangalack: Zyprexa taker

    Hello there, how are you? I am a 33 years old french dude. I finished my withdrawal by tapering off since 2 or 3 months. I started taking this drug in 2012, because of insomnia due to a bad trip from a cactus named San Pedro. I started to withdraw myself from it in the beginning of 2016 and i finished the withdrawal 2 months. The more i advanced in the levels of tapering, the more i felt mental clarity and the more i had a good sleep (dreaming again). When i totally finished the withdrawal, i started having panic attacks, strange fatigue, anxiety, but, my sleep was even better. The more i lowered the dosages, the more i had mind clarity and the more my sleep was good. And, since i totally stopped the drug, even if it was hard at the beginning, it became more bearable. But, strange symptoms came back some weeks ago. It that normal? To feel better and then to have side effects coming back? I was exposed to stress, so, it could be the cause. Some months after starting the withdrawal (in 2016), i started to have pains in the body, inflammations, like fibromyalgia and it never disappear since. Because, i am really tired recently and when i think back, this strange fatigue started years ago and i now think i can associate it with a step level of my tapering off. I can totally recognize myself in the fibromyalgia symptoms (i have a lot of inflammations). I have weird symptoms since many years: -migraine -photo-sensitivity and eye tiredness -fatigue, tiredness -inflammations I took Zyprexa 16 years ago also, for 1-2 months, because of anxiety. And as the first migraine i had was after i took Zyprexa (not directly, but, after), i am wondering myself if Zyprexa would not be the cause of it and my photo-sensitivity i also had years after. I think i have fibromyalgia, etc, but, i tend to think more and more than Zyprexa could be the cause of my problems. I also have a lombalgia, one of my vertebra has recuced. I take supplements and try to go in the forest and do bare-footing, etc. I try to find all the activity and acts that could be good to the being and the body. I feel better sometimes, but my strange fatigue makes me stress sometimes and it accentuates the problem. Maybe the stress is the cause of the or a big part of the cause of this state of being. Well, see you, peace.
  15. rajp

    rajp

    post moved from andy: Finally off zyprexa Hi, I went to see the doctor and he took 5mg of my dose in one go. I was on 10mg day. 5mg at night, 2.5in the morning and 2.5 in the afternoon. He said I dont need the morning and afternoon dose. I was ok the first week but this second week I think im feeling withdrawal symptoms As I've dropped 5mg in one go , any ideas how long the withdrawal symptoms will last ? Should I go back to my doctor and ask to be tapered off slowly ?
  16. Hi friends, My name is Gibby and I'm a 25 year old male with a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. I have been on medication for 5 years. I have been fairly stable while on medication, but I've been unhappy about taking olanzapine, even though my dose is very low (1.8mg for five years) and the physical side effects are more annoying than dangerous. However, I understand that serious complications can arise from taking this drug for a long time, so I've been looking to come off it for quite awhile. I started a withdrawal at the beginning of June, but it was mostly an experiment and I lasted about three days; I didn't really know what I was doing. Last Saturday night (with my doctor's consent!), I decided to try again with some more supports in place and some more coping techniques. These helped but I wasn't sleeping at all, and these last few days have been very bad. I haven't been able to eat or exercise much and my parents are exhausted in trying to care for me. I still feel like "me", my personality hasn't changed but I feel physically really unwell and anxious and depressed. I've decided to go back on the medication for awhile to get stable again (I expect to be a little zonked for the first five days or so back on, no big deal) and then try a different plan. My family wanted me to keep trying to get over the hump, but I can feel my nervous system freaking out and I don't have the practice in CBT techniques or keeping my mind safe, especially with no sleep and no real plan. I did my best for five days, and I hope that giving up now to try later doesn't make me some kind of chicken. I really wanted to but I guess my body-mind isn't ready. Do you guys/gals/others have any advice for next time? Anybody else gone through this? I'm also going to go off the citalopram eventually but the olanzapine is the main goal for right now. Thank you!
  17. Hello, im new here i taking brintellix/trintellix 10mg in the morning and olanzapine 5mg, rivotril (clonazepam/Klonopin ) in the evening taken it last year...i always scared thought how i tapering all that drugs i read many horrible story of the side effects, i dont want forever taking a drugs...im sorry for my english grammar.
  18. Hi all: I've been viewing the forum for awhile and finally decided to tell my story. I was diagnosed as bipolar in 2012 following a manic-psychotic episode and promptly medicated. I relapsed in 2015 despite being on the medication and again in 2017. This past time around they put me on Zyprexa and a fairly high dose of 20mg. The effect (along with the elevated blood sugars and cholesterol) has been terrible anhedonia. I can't feel passion, humor or even sadness--just numb. I told my doctor I wanted to get off and he had me cut down from 20 to 15 to 12.5--fast cuts which I now know from the site are not advisable, fortunately I had no w/d symptoms. I want to slow my taper now and have been met with resistance by my pdoc who thinks I should be able to go off it in a manner of weeks as he 'had never heard of zyprexa withdrawal syndrome' I am thinking I need to find a new psychiatrist who will at least be open to the idea of a conservative 10% taper. I am also concerned that I will be anhedonic for years to come and I desperately don't want to miss out on life. I am wondering if anyone here with experience with this drug can tell me whether or not this fog lifts as you taper down? I look forward to any responses. Thank you for this site. -Doc G
  19. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  20. Hello everyone, my name is Nicholas and I'm a 21 years old guy from Italy. I suffered from chronic insomnia from the age of 15 and in mid-February 2017 was prescribed before bedtime the antidepressant mirtazapine at 15 mg and the antipsychotic olanzapine at 2,5 mg. I took them for 2 weeks without improvement. Therefore the psychiatrist increased mirtazapine at 30 mg and olanzapine at 10 mg. Now I believe that he thought I had bipolar disorder type 1 but I hadn’t any mental illnes. I took olanzapine at 10 mg because I think was only a tranquilizer and because I trusted the doctor. Olanzapine made me sleep for 13 hours but I was no longer myself. After 5 days I tried to split the tablet but it gave me a strange effect. So I continued for others 15 days at 10 mg because I really needed to sleep. Then in April 2017 I tapered olanzapine in 1 week because I could not live anymore like that. I took it for a total of 48 days. After this I reduced mirtazapine to 15 mg and 1 week later I stop cold turkey. At that time I took the benzodiazepine brotizolam at 0,25 mg for 2 weeks to help me sleep. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible for 4 months and I have not been the same anymore. When I was on mirtazapine and olanzapine I had eyelids fasciculation 2 or 3 times per day. When I quitted olanzapine the eyelids fasciculation ceased. 2 weeks after withdrawal from olanzapine and 1 week from mirtazapine I started to have frequently intermittent muscle twitching in the left thigh and occasionaly pulsating muscles in other parts of the body. After less than a couple of months they have decreased in frequency and intensity but didn’t stop completely. During this period I was forced to take the antidepressant sertraline and the benzodiazepine diazepam because for the new psychiatrist I had obsessive compulsive disorder with an obsession for the damage of antipsychotics. I did not have anything like that and could taper and withdraw after 3 months in July 2017. Now I think maybe that the muscles twitching have diminished because diazepam is also a muscle relaxant. In August 2017 I started to have continuous fasciculations in the legs when I lie down and less frequently when I sit while I never had them when I move. Few times a day I had pulsating muscles also in the arms and the trunc but never in the face. I never had muscle twitches in multiple parts of the body at the same time. In September the muscles twitching moved for 1 week in the lower abdominals. In October 2017 for 2 weeks the muscles twitches suddenly stopped in the legs and continued in the rest of the body about 10 times per day. When the muscles twitching returned they were milder. Sometimes the fasciculations are so mild that when I looked at my calf I saw them without feel them. In the legs they have become more single rapid muscular contractions than pulsating muscles. Soon after I started to have continuos pulsating muscle in my upper lip. The muscle twitch was very mild and lasted 2 weeks but after it I have sometimes pulsating muscle also in my face. Do you think it is a tardive dyskinesia caused by olanzapine despite I haven’t involuntary body movements? Do you think it could be some other side effect caused by olanzapine or maybe mirtazapine? It’s 8 months that I’ve it. I have been visited by several psychiatrists and neurologists and everyone said it was just stress. Even if I do not have the symptoms of tardive dyskinesia I do not know what else it could be: I’m not stressed and I do not suffer from anxiety, I do not take stimulants, I can sleep, I have had blood tests and I haven’t electrolyte imbalances or hypoglycemia, I did electromyography and had normal results. The thing that worries me most is that there is a very large amount of medical literature that associates tardive dyskinesia with cognitive impairments. If it were to be tardive dyskinesia do you think that the fact that for almost 2 weeks the muscles twitches had almost disappeared means that I am healing? Thank you and greetings from Italy.
  21. August 2014 I went to hospital to get help for my hellish anxiety. I stayed there for three weeks since living in home with the fear was impossible. They put me on 10mg Zyprexa based on the assessment that my anxiety was due to pre- psychosis. When I got home, the anxiety was gone almost completely, and so was my libido. 1 month later I reduced zyprexa to 5mg. I had a great deal of thinking problem. I could not watch movies and understand them. My short term memory was not working at all. Reading a book was impossible. I discussed with my doctor about these symptoms and he insisted that I would go on with my medication. I did not like what the med was doing to me, so once more, after a month or so, I reduced my pill to 3mg a day. This went on for 5 months. My thinking got a little bit better. During that time, my libido was very low. I could get erection only by rubbing my penis, I had no interest actually in the opposite sex like I used to. What was even more alarming, was that i could not get satisfaction from anything. I used to do a lot of sports and workout, and i loved the euphoric feeling after a good workout. With zyprexa all i felt during and after sports was tiredness and weakness, there was nothing rewarding. So, the months went on, and i got more and more depressed. I dont know if depression is the right word because it actually was not even depression, it was nothing, it was emptiness, i was a moving doll. I did not talk to people anymore, there was nothing behind my eyes that was worth saying. I isolated to my apartment and there was a period of two months that i didnt see people at all except at grocery store. I was in really bad shape, every ten minutes i thought about how to kill myself, and three times i made the decision to commit a suicide but when the time came i hesitated. Every night i took the pill because i was used to do so. I was in so bad situation that i could not actually question my own health and benefit. The pill had taken over me. The doctor and therapist both were aware of my situation but the docs opinion was to carry on with the drug. After 7 months of zyprexa medication my doctor changed the pill To Risperdal 1 mg to try out if that works for my libido. I took the pill 0.5 mg for three weeks. I cannot surely say what is true and what is not, since those times were so foggy. But through that fog i think i could see my libido disappear completely. I stopped the medication immediately. And now for the recovery story. It is 2,5 months since i stopped taking medication. First month went with constant suicidal thinking and anxiety, and in times i felt like i was on overdrive. Since then i have reduced suicidal thinking a great deal, and my mind seems to have calmed down a bit. More importantly i have started talking to people again and have had some nice short conversations. A few times i have had sports and felt again that euphoria that was missing almost a year, but that doesnt hit me every time. But for that part there are still bad times that last from days to a week. It is like my mind is slipping back to that f---ing numbness from time to time. During the last 1,5 months i have developed some sort of insomnia. I sleep 2-5 hours a night, and the sleeping quality is horrible. During the morning i have a hangover from bad sleep. I have had a strange suffocation-feeling four times when i am falling to sleep, never have had that one before. It feels like vomiting or swallowing the tongue. It lasts maybe a second but scares the **** out of me when almost sleeping. When i sit or lay down relaxed, like the other day at the beach, my body starts suddenly sway back and worth rapidly like there was some sort of wave going through, it also lasts about a second or less. It happened also to my right leg alone. Most of the time my libido is absolutely 0. My testicles are aching, and when i squeeze them, there is not much feeling left. My penis is shrinked, cold and numb. I cannot get any kind of weak erection even by rubbing. One time i rubbed an ejaculation with the soft penis and the sperm was dry and sticky white stuff. Is it a good thing that i laugh while i am writing this? There are short times of few days when my libido seems to rize a bit, just a bit, nothing like it used to be. I can get some sort of hard erection and i can find women attractive to some degree. One thing i have noticed is that those times when i masturbate the sperm is exactly the opposite, it is wet and bright, no any white in it. One time i managed to have sex during those "horny" days, and what a disappointment! My d*ck rose promising, it was not a full erection but hard enough for sex. The sex was nothing like it used to be. No "shivers" at all. Weak orgasm came way too early after few seconds. I am laughing even more now. During the last few weeks my urination need rises tremendously and i have to drink more water. This lasts few days and then it goes away. There has now been two such periods. It is alarming because Zyprexa can cause Diapetes. Even worrying is the fact that i have a big uncomfortable need to eat quickly something and it seems to happen same time with the urination period. I have always been athletic and i am still athletic after the zyprexa treatment, allthough maybe centimeter of fat have appeared to cover my abs, and now i am at the fattest of my entire life. So it seems that my mind has started to recover from the ugly poison that i took. I have read this forum and i am very sad to hear that there are people who have to suffer that horrible numbness without any feeling, month after month. My sympathy is with you. Hang in there buddies, I am sure that after time you will get your reward and it feels so Good. It is worth waiting, and it will happen. The other side looks very beautiful, and is waiting for you. i will never take continuous neuroleptic treatment again, never. If my anxiety returns,i will only take antipsychotics until the anxiety is gone. If i become so mentally ill that i cannot survive without neuroleptics, i will kill myself without a question. Some people like their lives with antipsychotics, and i am happy for them. People are different, my dose was very low and i found my life completely destroyed by Zyprexa and Risperdal. For me, they are poison. Libido is bothering me. On difficult days i start thinking suicide, but then there comes a little bit better one. My mood changes very much along with my libido. I have accepted that it is quite possible that i will never get my libido back completely. It is a very sad thing. But after experiencing that Zyprexa-8-month-walking-coma-living-dead, there is something in this world that you want to look at, even if you are chemically castrated by med experts and drug companies.
  22. Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy
  23. Evoldnahturt

    Evoldnahturt

    The relevant facts of my life: - I've had trouble sleeping all of my life, I'm usually sleep deprived. - I'm anxious off and on, usually on. Often times the anxiety gets bad. I've been like this for at least 15 years. Probably, at least to some extent, most of my life - I believe I may have been depressed most of my childhood. It got bad in my late teens and has improved, but remained. - My diet has been terrible all my life. No fruits or veggies. Just processed junk. - I was put on Ritalin when I was a kid and took it for many years. It caused me to develop ticks that have gotten better, but pop up sometimes, especially when I'm stressed. - I became suicidal in my late teens and was put on a lot of different medications. None of them worked and I didn't stay on them long. - I took between 2.5mg to 5mg (because I was too lazy to cut the pill in half at times) of Zyprexa for about 14 years starting when I was around 19. - I took Prozac for many years starting at around age 19 and quit CT with no problems several years ago. - I used alcohol off and on over the years. I quit for a long while before it quit getting me high. I noticed that it started working again after I quit Prozac. I started drinking again heavily for a few months, and then once or twice a week off and on after that. - On rare occasion I would pick up a small batch of pain pills. I usually used 5mg-10mg of Hydrocodone, but a couple of times I went overboard. - I used other miscellaneous pills on rare occasion in my late teens. - I smoked marijuana daily for many years and slowed down to a few times a month over the past few years, near the end it was usually just when I was out in nature. I recently quit smoking completely. I don't believe it was causing problems, but I've decided it's not worth the risk. - I was bulimic for over a decade and quit over a year ago. Summary of my withdrawal: 1.25mg weighs 47.5mgpw (mgpw = milligrams pill weight) when weighed on a scale (I use a GEMINI-20). I dropped to 47.5mgpw (1.25mg, quarter of a pill) for somewhere between a few months up to a year. I started quickly tapering sometime around or soon after September 2015. At first I was able to cut my dosage quickly, but things got rough at times and I ending up having to jump back up almost to where I was before I started reducing my dosage. I kept lowering my dosage, often getting to zero, and then raising it again when things got too difficult. I did this for about five months. My first symptoms were pressure in my head, a loss of feeling throughout my body, and fear. Sometimes, I believe, the fear was caused by the other side-effects. However, sometimes I experienced the sensation of fear out of nowhere without being afraid of anything. I usually would then become afraid of the sensation of fear getting worse. In retrospect, I believe these and other effects were triggered or worsened by my taking (at different times) Xanax, Omeprazol, Hydrocodone, and alcohol during Zyprexa withdrawal. It quickly became clear that alcohol was causing me to become fearful, because the effect was immediate. I haven't used alcohol directly since near the beginning of this process. I did, however, use it in the form of Zzzquill, which caused hypnic jerks with the sensation of fear while drifting off to sleep all night. I ended up realizing that Xanax was also causing problem, after using it throughout most of my withdrawal. I later tested using Hydrocodone to see if I could at least handle pain meds. It caused me to feel the sensation of fear while falling asleep that night. Things got really difficult the days leading up to 2-14-16. One of my step-brothers drove me to my mother's where I stayed for a week and a half. I ended up increasing my dose to 142mgpw (3.75mg, 3/4 of a pill). While I was at my mom's, I saw her doctor to get some lab-work done as well as a neurologist. The neurologist did an MRI scan of my brain. A benign lesion was found, but nothing else. The lab-work all looked fine except for the fact that my good cholesterol was low. My mother has been very supportive, but my family has had a hard time believing that these issues were caused by the medication, which baffles me, but I'm very grateful that they're supportive. I've been surprised by how unsupportive many families can be. I have reduced my dosage by 10% a month (calculated from the previous month's dosage) since then. I held for two months initially. My symptoms quickly got better at first and have slowly continued to improve. I can't tell if they're still improving or not. I'm holding at my current dosage for at least another month next month, probably longer. I was initially eager to get my dosage down, I now realize that I should probably slow down to be safe. I'm currently at 104mgpw. I've decided to avoid all other medications for as long as possible. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if something happens where I need medication. I'm also not sure how long I want this taper to last. Stories like Mapleleafgirl's (4 year taper, got very sick 20 months after the taper) make me want to take longer than my body tells me to, like six or eight years. I'm very grateful that I'm doing as well as I am and that reinstating Zyprexa has made things much better, but I got past my breaking point in just a few months with much less severe issues than what many of you are dealing with. I don't understand how you can take it. I have a stronger will to live after going through this, but not strong enough to suffer like that for years. I would have to kill myself and I can't stand the thought of doing that to my mom while she's still alive. The stories on here, what's happened to me, and the fact that I'm still not fully healed after four months of taking a larger dose really scares me. I'm a lot better and what's persisted is manageable, but I figured I would have healed by now. I promise that however this turns out, I'll provide you guys with updates over the years. Symptoms I've experienced: - Pressure in head - Burning sensation throughout my body, especially in my thighs and legs - Arm, leg, upper body, finger, or hand jolts (especially when falling asleep) (Hypnic jerk?), I've had this, to some extent, for many years, but it got worse during withdrawal - Tingling, numbness - Pins and needles (especially when falling asleep) - Knots and frequent noise in stomach - Extreme difficulty swallowing food (briefly before I increased to 142mgpw) - Irregular heart beats - A very hard heart pump that makes me tense up (not as frequent now) - Ringing in an ear (not very often these days) - Pressure in an ear - Tachycardia, especially when getting sleepy, falling asleep, and twice while asleep (woke me up) - Blurred vision when waking up as well as dizziness (this persisted throughout the process of weaning off of Zyprexa, it stopped when I increased to 142.5mgpw (3.75mg)) - Burred vision and dizziness outside of waking up in the morning, this wasn't very frequent - Muscles twitching, like after a workout, but more frequent - Akathisia - Insomnia, I've always been an insomniac, but it got much worse in the beginning and then got back to normal early-in - My mind has been slipping. I'll say things that don't make sense. I'll say I'm hot when I'm cold. I take a long time to come up with a response. This has been the case for years - Other things that I couldn't describe. I've found that if I can't describe something, I forget about what it was like eventually.
  24. I was prescribed citalopram around 2006 for anxiety when sitting exams at school. I was left on the drug for 6 years until I asked to come off it. I was given no advice as to how to do this. First failed attempt at coming off antidepressants. I won’t go into the detail but I ended up being hospitalised and put on Venlafaxine instead. This is when I began searching for my own answers. I learned about tapering and in April 2016 I began reducing my Venlafaxine by 15mg each time. I didn’t stick to a strict schedule, I just reduced each time I felt good and could handle it. This all went without a hitch until the last drop in January 2018. I was ok for 10 days apart from dizziness and the odd brain zap. Then I was hit with panic attacks in my sleep and severe anxiety. I went back to my gp who said that as I was anxious and not depressed I was to take 5mg olanzapine at bed time. I got better then stopped olanzapine then got worse so started it again. Eventually my mood changed and I got depressed and was put back on 225mg Venlafaxine as well as 2.5mg olanzapine. This continued for a few weeks then I got back to work and felt good. Then I saw a psychiatrist (after an 8 week wait) who said I could stop the olanzapine and I would be fine. Lies, withdrawal hit me bad. Severe anxiety. However I have read a lot and learned a lot and decided that with family support I am trying my best to stick it out. I have also started taking supplements from neuro genetics and I feel they are helping as my sleep has improved and sometimes I feel I can get through this. It’s been a month since I stopped taking olanzapine. I’m still very up and down. I’m still taking 225mg Venlafaxine. I’m in the process of changing my doctor to one who has been recommended to me as sympathetic to my situation. I feel like I am existing not living. I haven’t been at work full time for months. Family members are avoiding me because they don’t understand what’s going on. My plan is to taper off Venlafaxine once I have stabilised from quitting olanzapine cold turkey. I have read other forums and people say they took a few months to feel better. Others didn’t take as long. I wish someone could tell me how this will all pan out but I know that’s impossible. I’m looking for any support and advice people can offer me.
  25. Hi, I am currently on 15 mg of remeron. I tried to stop when tapered sucessfully down to 3.75. I had withdrawals with anxiety that made me sucidal and I had to go to the hospital. I have come off all other drugs sucessfully in the past. I am scared to death about ever coming off and wondering if I ever should come off. I keep wondering what happens in the future if some reason I can't get the drug. I constantantly obsess now about getting off the drug to the point I've had to go back on tranxene to keep the anxiety down from worring about coming of this drug some day. Should I just stay on it. If it permantly damages the receptors and they don't repair in your brain would it be best to just stay on it. I have GAD so I may need to stay on a drug for life. I got off prozac some years ago and lived symptom free for 4 years until a bad life trauma caused me to have debilitating anxiety for months. I could not work and could not eat. I dropped down to 100 lbs and had to be hospitalized. I have been stabilized on remeron now for over 2 years. Should I try to stop or would it be best for me just to stay on? If I stay on I'm just going to worry about it until I crack up. Right now I found a doctor in Ashville NC, Dr. Daniel Johnson who specializes in helping people safely withdraw from these meds. He has not returned my calls at all. Maybe he is on vacation or something. I even tried contacting Dr. Peter Breggin.. I'm so scared that if I try to come off my brain will be damaged permantely and will not recover. I know I should think like this but even the slightest anixiety can make me suicidal. I don't know if I can ever risk a withdrawal. I had to go to the hospital for my first attempt at this withdrawal. Some of it could have been extra anxiety by worring about the withdrawal rather than the withdrawel itself, but I don't know. Help, I'm scared to even try. Cheryl
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