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  1. Hello everyone, I took my first anti-depressant at 21. I am now 43. In the years in between, I have had multiple psychiatric admissions, taken many many different medications, some at high doses, some inappropriate for my diagnosis, and for long periods of time, and had 8 sessions of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). I am posting here now because I believe I may be experiencing a withdrawal/discontinuation syndrome. My life has been razed to the ground and I am reaching out, to foster hope, make connection, and see if I can educate and empower myself and find guidance and support to get into healing and recovery. My difficulties began 9 years ago. The only drug I was taking at the time was Citalopram, and I was reducing it. The first thing I noticed was increased sensitivity to sound (e.g. hearing the radiators throughout the house I was staying in). I was working as a counsellor at the time, and I began to have feelings of falling through my chair when working with clients, a sensation of falling downwards and backwards suddenly. I then started to feel strange in the car, as if something toxic was coming through the ventilation system, leading me to feel a bit like I wasn't fully there; slightly afraid I would pass out (I never have) or "disappear". I would pinch my cheeks to try and "come back". I couldn't understand it. For 18 months, I followed the initial thinking from my GP, that I had labyrinthitis, and had various auditory system tests. This revealed nothing. I then went to the London Balance and Hearing Centre and had a thorough check there. They found nothing wrong and said that 40 % of people presenting there they referred on to psychiatry. By this stage, I had stopped driving, stopped working, had considerable difficulties walking - I walked using 2 sticks, and continued to have extreme sensitivity to sound (found the sound of the dishwasher on the floor below almost unbearable). The psychiatrist diagnosed "total serotonin depletion of the vestibular nucleus" with utter conviction (no sample/scan of anything has ever been taken by a psychiatrist in 22 years of treatment), and admitted me urgently to hospital. I was not depressed at the time. I was bombarded with medications. 3 weeks later, I went into depression, but the somatic symptoms I had been admitted for continued. More and more medications were administered. Eventually, I discharged myself and went to another psychiatric hospital. They were shocked at the levels of medication I was on (this was 2013) and proceeded to reduce and change the drugs. I left this hospital in 2014 but my somatic symptoms persisted (difficulty walking, unable to tolerate the sound of the fridges in the supermarket, clinging on to the shelves, tremors in my legs, unable to stand in line....). By this time, I had a diagnosis of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) - which I identify with to this day. This was September 2015. Because, despite high levels of medication, the symptoms were still present and limiting my functionality (e.g. unable to tolerate short attending a short evening course on social media at my gardening group: I couldn’t cope with looking at the screen, sitting on a chair without sides, or the sounds – and had to leave), I decided to change tack and try a different approach. That was when I sought out a trauma therapist and a more holistic path. At this time I was on Quetiapine (250mg at night, 50mg breakfast and 50mg lunchtime), 3g L-Tryptophan, 15mg Diazepam, 60mg Citalopram. Over the course of 3 years, I brought myself down off the meds in a very measured way, one at a time, titrating at what I thought was a slow pace. I managed to come off the Quetiapine, L-Tryptophan and Diazepam. I continued to experience severe somatic symptoms but could walk about a little, go into a bookshop briefly - not able to work or go out for a meal, or the cinema or anything like that. When I began reducing the Citalopram, my symptoms became seriously bad. They emerged approx. 2 – 3 months after reductions e.g. 60 > 50 > 40 beginning May 2017, resulted in severe, disabling symptoms by August: severe tremors, terrifying hyperarousal, unable to tolerate sounds at all, using alcohol when necessary literally to be able to tolerate them or walk when necessary. I made another reduction 40 > 35 > 30 > 25 > 20 from December to April 2018, at which point I became housebound and called the paramedics as I was experiencing states of terror, feeling as if I was about to die, unable to regulate my nervous system at all. I now know, how terribly and tragically misguided my reduction pacing was. I wish I could turn the clocks back. But I can't. Hence my presence here, and prayers that there is still hope that I might recover my health. The emergency services suggested I increase the Citalopram back up to 30mg, which I did - and then up to 35mg, 3 weeks later. By this stage, I was housebound, having violent seizure patterning (not seizures - I never lose consciousness), unable to tolerate the sound of using a telephone, unable to stand to wash up or make food. My therapist began visiting me in my home. At the time, she and I had been understanding what was happening as partly being a releasing of the trapped energy of the trauma of the ECT which I had when I was 29. Indeed, the seizure patterning/muscle spasms look very like this. And my therapist described what she believed was going on in Somatic Experiencing language of "overcoupling": effects of psychological trauma/stress from earlier life + ECT shock trauma + long term use of meds.....all contributing to a dysregulated nervous system. I still believe this to be the case. However, very sadly, my therapist reached the point where she felt unable to continue to support me and pointed me back towards psychiatry. This was utterly devastating to me. I had derived considerable strength and hope from believing I understood what was happening in my body, that I had agency over its process, and was resourced and motivated by this. Being advised that all that was left was to go back to psychiatry, felt like the final straw. I went into severe, suicidal depression. Since then, I have seen several more psychiatrists, 2 neurologists, one neuropsychiatrist. None of them acknowledge that there is any possibility that psychiatric medications are implicated in my somatic symptoms. They put them under "medically unexplained" or "functional neurological disorder". I had 5 weeks in another psychiatric hospital in December 2018 which was largely pointless as I could not bring myself to take further medications, except for the introduction of one, Pregabalin, but at a low dose (because I was looking ahead to having to withdraw off this too eventually, and cautious accordingly.) I am now staying with my parents, in Luxembourg because I am unable to manage on my own in my own home without carers. I am at the lowest point of my life. The depression is severe but largely "reactive", ie an understandable response to losing my world - my work, my community, my functionality and all that that now deprives me of. I am just surviving at the moment. I hope I can find a way ahead. I am new to this website. I wonder how I might best use it to seek support and guidance? I will list the medications I am currently taking: Citalopram 40mg Pregabalin 50mg @ 09.00, 25 mg @ 13.00, 25mg @ 22.00 Diazepam 2mg @ 09.00, 25mg @ 13.00, 25mg @ 19.00, 25 mg @ 22.00 Zopiclone 3.75mg: began tapering under advice of GP 10 days ago, reducing by 1/4 = cutting the pill in half and half again and taking 3/4. He suggested I taper by 1/4 every 2-3 weeks. I feel trapped in a Catch22: I am unable to function in the world as I am. My symptoms are prohibitive of most activities and restrict where I can be, even within my parents' home, as my sensitivity to sound is so great and I am unable to be standing for very long due to the tremors. I am due to see the GP again tomorrow to ask his advice. I do not have a psychiatrist here. I am not keen to see yet another psychiatrist unless this person understands the fight/flight/freeze response, believes in withdrawal syndromes and tapering. My despair lies in the fact that I am sadly not in a position to be tapering really until I have adequate functionality restored. But I don't know how to restore that, how to address the tremoring and sensitivity to sound. The advice I have had from psychiatrists is to increase the dose of Pregabalin to quell the tremors. I am currently on a sub-therapeutic dose. I am reluctant to do this as this will be yet another drug to come off (which holds risks of seizures through withdrawal). Does anybody here have anything they could suggest to help? I am only just beginning to try to understand what the effects might be, on my nervous system, of extensive use of the drugs I have been on in the past, and am currently on. In particular, Quetiapine (I was on 800mg in 2005 and reduced over a couple of years - I never had any psychosis; and again 2013 - 2016 at 300mg), Diazepam (30mg in 2013, now 8mg) and Citalopram (60 for many years, now 40mg). I don't know if everything my body is manifesting is an expression of a depletion of receptors throughout my body? I am doing an online course on the nervous system and understand the intricacy of it, and how every cell in our bodies is affected by nervous system dysregulation. What is the next step? How do I address the somatic symptoms, in particular sensitivity to sound and to gravity: my sympathetic nervous system is "turned up way too high" in response to my standing up = tremors How/where can I find a clinician to guide me? I am due to see a Functional Medicine practitioner next Thursday with a view to try trying to do something myself to help heal my system. Any thoughts on this? I am also acutely aware that my life situation is such that I feel insecure and at sea. So, I need to find a way to create a secure base for myself, professionals I trust, decide which country to live in to do this (I will probably be unable to live alone until/unless I can heal this)..... I understand now that my nervous system is picking up cues about safety all the time. And if my life situation is unstable, it will keep going into fight/flight/freeze in reaction to that too. So, I need to also do some internal work on finding safety in the midst of uncertainty. This is so challenging. I feel very grateful to have this space in which to share and hopefully help each other. Thank you.
  2. ADMIN NOTE See ang's Intro topic with her earlier history here ☼ ang: help and confidence needed Hello Altostrata and friends. I now believe I am a success story. I am working, contributing and ENJOYING life again. I am 58, so I am grateful that I can enjoy maybe a few more years of my life. From the amount of drugs I was on, this is a miracle. Took me I would say, many years. Mistakes I made, so, so many, ........then in desperation .......... I found this wonderful lifeline Surviving Antidepressants. The pharma fraud, and psychiatric fraud, and $$$$ made destroying lives on these poisons, I can never forgive. I have not been able to update my own timeline, as I have been so happily busy. I do, however, wish to write my survival story, maybe in 6 months, when I am permanent in my job, and will update with all the things I have done in the last 6 months. Just wanted to say, is hard to revisit this site, remembering how ill and desperate I was. But I will, and I will contribute when I can. Yes, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, for me the agony waxed and waned for a couple of years. Keep up the fight, never give in. Happy Easter Everyone. I am so hoping you may be able to enjoy, but I know how ill I have been, and family and friends were just too much to cope with. This easter, I cant WAIT to see my grandkids and family. Yes the brain recovers from these poisons. Cheers Ang
  3. I had the first manic and psychotic break at 2006, I was 28, mother of a small child. I was admitted to the ER and given a high dose of olanzapine and mood stabilizer, sleeping pills. I don't even remember those first few days, I was locked in a psych ward without any visit from a psychiatrist for 3 weeks. Then I begged to go home (still psychotic but they didn't know) and they let me go home, where I continued the treatment, although I was feeling really unwell, desperate even. With time I got better, then went to a private psychiatrist that put me on quietapine and a mood stabilizer. I took the meds 2 years, struggling to lead a normal life. My brain wasn't functioning well, I felt incapacitated. I managed to find a job but I wasn't happy there to put it mildly and even though I was taking the meds I ended up manic and psychotic again, I divorced my husband, the police went to get me at work to take me to the hospital... This time they didn't commit me and I ended up taking arpiprazol, sleeping pills, and maybe a mood stabilizer. I lost the job, went into depression, but I found the doctor that still is my doctor today. He took me off aripriprazol when he could and I started taking lamotrigine. I never sought a job again because I felt humilliated by the whole situation, I eventually got together with my husband because our separation was all due to my mental health problems at the time. I stayed home with a lot of trauma and low self-esteem for 5 years but with no symptoms. My husband gor me a part time job in his company and that's what I do now. But in 2015 my doctor went to another hospital and I got a new one. I didn't dislike her, I had a crisis that year and after depression. I was put on olanzapine and sleeping pills, and when the olanzapine was over the sleeping pills remained so my brain got addicted to them. She gave me an antidepressant that got me manic and I was miserable, I decided to take matters in my own hands. I quit the antidepressants and the sleeping pills, changed my diet, started exercising (I was fat from the drugs) and lost 15kg while trying to control my mania with olanzapine but I didn't take enough and had another crisis, this was 2017. I was committed and took a huge dose of olanzapine and all the other meds again, the doctor told me that medication was for life and I nodded. As soon as I got out of the hospital sought out my actual psychiatrist that followed me in 2009. I said I wanted the least ammount of meds possible. I started making a very detailed diary of meds and symptoms and slowly got off of everything but olanzapine. He thought I should take preventively 5mg everyday but that dose makes me less human, so I went down to 2.5mg and he was very pleased with how I functioned although I was in a bad depression. In last May the depression finally lifted and I started exercising more and lost 10kg that meanwhile I had got from olanzapine. This winter I'm reducing even more olanzapine, my plan is to wean it off and try another antipsychotic in the spring doesn't mess with my sleep. I'm sleeping badly and having anxiety but I don't want this med anymore, or at least not take it everyday. It's a long story, I started trusting the doctors and doing everything they said but today I'm way more critical. Everyone is surprised when I say the little I take. My seasonality is also something peculiar, I don't get manic or psychotic in autumn of winter so I'm weaning off now. I'll get there eventually, wish me luck.
  4. Teppo125 Hi you all! This is my first post here, but I have been here and reading stuff for many months. Sorry for my poor english, but maybe you will understand. I had many adversities in 2018-2019 and I began to have panic attacks, chest pains and air hunger. I had all of these in 2012 as well, but I was checked and there was nothing wrong with me. The panic attacks and chest pains all got away in a few months. I went to the private doctor which we had because of our job. And he recommended for me to go to the psychologist. The psychologist said that he recommends me to seek psychotherapist, because of my illness. Well I didn't do anything and the panic attacks didn't go away. I had to call an ambulance two times and they took me to the ER both times because I thought I was going to die. I went to the psychologist again and I told him that I would like to get some medications started. He said that he doesn't recommend medication, because I would start to trust the medication and it could be hard to stop (Oh how right he was..). Well I didn't seek a psychotherapist, but I went to the public hospital, because I wanted the medication, because I thought it would help. I called the psychiatric nurse and after the first appointment she sent me to the doctor and mid july in 2019 I was prescribed Escitalopram (Lexapro I think in you're language) 10mg/day. First week 2,5mg. Second week 5mg. And then 10mg. After first week psychiatric nurse wanted to see me and asked how I was doing. I was doing better, but I started to have some mild suicidal thoughts. What I never had before. We didn't notice them at all. At second week the thoughts became louder. Then I lifted the dose to 10mg and after a few days it wasn't only thoughts, but also suicidal behavior. I couldn't think anything else, only that that I'm going to kill myself. I noticed that something was very very wrong. I thought that the same goes for me what my cousin did earlier in the year, because he was deeply depressed and committed suicide. I was diagnosed mild depression and I had those horrible thoughts. I called the nurse and I wanted too se her. At this point the nurse was changed to another person. The previous nurse was only temporary and the right nurse came back from vacation. She didn't know at all what had happened to me, and neither did I. I didn't know that this DRUG could cause this kind of stuff. Also I am pretty good at sleeping and with this drug I had major sleeping troubles. Then we lowered the dose to 5mg and it helped a lot. Thoughts were still there, but I continued eating them and continued my life. I played football and another sports in the summer, but the thoughts were still there all the time. After 8 weeks(I think) I recognize that when I watched a mirror, I became to hate my self. Then I decided to call the nurse and I told her that I want quit this medication, because I was not feeling good with this drug. She said that I'm now fearing the drug and she doesn't want that I quit the escitalopram. Well, after a long conversation she gave me permission to stop the drug and I could do it cold turkey, because such a low dose and I haven't ate it a long time. And you all know what happened then. But I didn't. I have never before ate any drugs. Only ibuprofen for hangovers some times. I quit the medication propably mid september and I feel pretty good. But after 1,5 - 2 weeks I was thrown behind the hell. And the hell last, it last enormously long time. After two weeks of quitting the drug my girlfriend told me to go privat psychotherapist, because I felt so awful. I though that I am insane that I have tilted some way 😃 (I can laugh sometimes now). The psychotherapist said that it is almost impossible that you are insane, because you are too old to become lunatic and it happens almost every time in 20's or earlier(I'm 30 years now). That helped a little bit. After 4 months of quitting CT, I went to psychiatric and told her what I was going throw. She said that the drug(withdrawal) couldn't be anymore the reason how I felt and prescribe me ketiapine (Qetiapin maybe in English?) for that enormous anxiety what I have. But she also said that just last year people and media are been talking about those side effects and withdrawal in Finland caused by antidepressants. I crashed. I didn't want to live anymore, because my life was awful hell. And it wasn't the withdrawal anymore. I took that ketiapin for month or two 12,5 mg or less for sleeping and anxiety and then I quit it, because I don't want eat any drugs anymore EVER. But somehow I find a group at Facebook. It was Finnish(I'm Finnish also)group about SSRI withdrawal and I noticed that maybe I'm not a lunatic. And then I found there also this site. I also went back to another psychotherapist after 5 months of cold turkey and she said that my biggest problem was the drug withdrawal. I wasn't insane because that couldn't be possible. Or it could be possible, but there should be some sings before if I was for example scitzofrenic or bibolar. I was happier than ever. I continued the therapy which is conditional behavioral psychotherapy. Now I'm almost 8 months free of the drug. I'm not fine, but I think that I survive this. This is not a success story yet, but I write that too then when I'm firmly on my feet. If anyone could help me somehow what I should do in this withdrawal please leave me a comment. Or is it only time what heels me?
  5. Hello everyone. I'm CF. Been of psychiatric medication for 4 years, when I was a teen - due to depression and eating disorders. After switching many drugs, by August 2019 (discharged from last hospitalization) I was taking: 100*2mg Lamotrigine, 20*2mg Clotiapine, 25mg Promethazine, 400mg Seroquel XR, 60mg Mirtazapine. In the past: Lustal, Lorivan, Clonazepam & more I don't have documentation of. As of today, I take 100*2mg Lamictal, 400mg Seroquel XR and 45mg Mirtazapine. I am interested in lowering all of those, currently very interested in lowering Seroquel... I was never psychotic or manic. I was given Seroquel, Clotiapine and Promethazine because I was agitated and would self harm constantly. These medications did not change my situation; ECT improved my situation for a month, than went away. Therapy in last year helped a lot. -- My withdrawal history: - Prozac: 20mg (1y) -> 30mg (short) -> 60mg (1y) -> 30mg (1d) -> 0. Side effects: Unknown. Withdrawal: I had no adverse reaction at all, the day I lowered to 30mg I was given Remeron and started having tics. - Clotiapine: 10*3mg (?m) -> 20*3 (4d) -> 20*2 (6m) -> 20mg (2w) -> 0. Side effects: sleepiness (on 20*3). Withdrawal: No symptoms, more energy. - Promethazine: 25mg (6m) -> 0. Side effects: helped with allergies. Withdrawal: no symptoms, allergies still way better than before Promethazine😉 - Lamotrigine: 100mg (?) -> 100*2mg (3m) -> tampering to 0 in 2-3 weeks -> 100*mg (1.6y) Side effects: dry mouth. Withdrawal: Can not recall due to ECT treatment. I believe there were none but not 100% sure. - Mirtazapine: 45mg (1d) -> 60mg (10m) -> 45 (1m). Side effects: 60mg: tics (2h after administration, went away by next morning), sleepiness. The first day I was given Remeron I had tics and couldn't sleep, until I was given a sedative. Became better in the next week. 45mg: sleepiness. Withdrawal: Went from 60mg to 45mg in 1 day. Immediately stopped getting tics, sleep about 1.5h less than on 60mg (7.5h/night now). - Seroquel/Seroquel XR: 20mg (?) - 200mgXR + 20mg (?) -> 300mgXR (2y) -> 400mgXR (2y). Side effects: major weight gain, sleepiness. Withdrawal: not exactly withdrawal, but when I skip a night I have insomnia (2-3h sleep max), and when I skipped two doses - next day was almost normal (5-6h) with no side effects. Slightly sensitive/agitated on day 1 (lack of sleep?). I stopped taking Promethazine and Clotiapine in October-December 2019, Mirtazapine 60->45mg - since March 2020. These are the ones I can remember. I was given other medication before but I can not recall anything. -- My current situation is, my Psychiatrist refuses to let me try and reduce Seroquel XR because of COVID situation. I take XR is cutting it myself is not an option. Don't know what to do, I want to stop taking it, more time = worse withdrawal. I stopped taking 60mg Prozac with no issues (SERT, NET inhibition), Entumine (can not find mechanism of action), Promethazine (D2 and H1). I never had any issues with using brand VS generic. -- I interchangeably use: Lamictal & Lamotrigine; Clotiapine & Entumin/Etumin; Mirtazapine & Remeron.
  6. Acsr Hi ! Thank for having me! Hi have a question for you since I’m don’t know what to do and nobody believes me . So, I was on Protheadene 75mg ( for 2 years) and still on 0,5 ( maxolazan-sedoxil) and 50 mg of quietipine. I was doing really well so I decided to win off my antidepressant, very slowly 7 months tapering, and my last dose was on 1st November. I got a flu in the beginning of March and since then I’ve been experiencing diarrhea, morning fast heart beats, depression and extreme fatigue during my periods and after. Was very gradual and this month is has been awful. I went to see a funcional doctor who says my adrenals are depleted, that I’m hypo, no magnesium ferritin and C. And my gut is a mess, Candida and disbiose. My progesterone little low. so this is where I need help : Is this withdrawal from the antidepressant? is this benzo tolerance ? Can I take progesterone since my symptoms get really bad during and after my periods? can I take aminoácids? can I take tyroid meds ? what do you think? I just don’t want to mess up . Thank you very much!
  7. Hello! I have been following this forum for a while, but haven't been able to find time and energy to write my own introduction. I found this site after searching relentlessly for other answers to mental wellness besides antidepressants. Besides lots of other informative books I read Whitaker's "Anatomy of Epidemics", and understood better what happened to me last year when I had a big relapse, which I'm still recovering from. Medications didn't help anymore. Things only started improving when I started taking supplements (Daily Essential Nutrients, which is former Empowerplus), and applied gluten free casein free diet. And since then, I have carefully tapered down with medications. But I write briefly about my story from the beginning. I have difficult background and lot's of things I have had to work through psychologically, because my dear mother suffered from severe depression for many years and finally it ended with her suicide in 2002. But I don't go into depths about that, but try to give you general idea of what has happened over the years. It was very hard after her death, and with difficult relationship at the same time, so I ended up taking antidepressants for some time. I was really paranoid about them, and agreed to take only small amount - 10mg citalopram, for like 5-6 months. As time went on, I started to get really bad mood swings myself in 2005. In summer 2006 I ended taking birth control pills I had been taking for 8 years. At the same time there was high pressure at work and another relationship that didn't work out. Few months after quitting the pills, I fell into hole I hadn't even been able to imagine before. Severe depression with even small amount of psychotic symptoms (delusional guilt thoughts). It was really, really bad. There was a psychiatrist, that put me on citalopram "because it worked before". 40g, which, in hindsight, was really high and I probably suffered a lot from not only the illness, but AD side-effects. I didn't really feel that the pills were helping, although after a few months I was out from the most awful state of mind. I continued to take the meds for some months, but then dropped it - I just didn't want to take them (I saw my mom deteriorating on AD-s, and didn't believe in them). But I was not the same after this crisis. I'd lost something in me. And as time went on, I started to sink down again. Until in 2008 (3 years suffering), it was so bad that I had no other way than to search for help again. I started cognitive-behavioural therapy, and did it vigorously, but it didn't help. And then I started meds again. After first tries that didn't work, I started prozac (20mg) - and it's effect was amazing and very strong!!! I got flashes and glimpses of my warm and good memories, I felt like a ton had fallen from my shoulders, it was quite dramatic improvement. I continued to get better gradually for at least a year. I felt that I gained about 80% of my wellness. As things were going well, I thought it's ok to stop them now. I was still very wary about taking those drugs long term. I gradually stopped it, I think during 1-2 months. I remember I had withdrawal (feeling very angry and irritated), but pushed through it. I had learned a lot in therapy and thought I can handle myself. I was really emotional after ending it, cried a lot and it put a strain on my new relationship. After a couple of months I was really going down again, I felt really bad, depressed, awful, and anxious about the relationship. my pdoc restarted prozac. It didn't work anymore! It was awful... to realize that the drug doesn't help anymore. We tried duloxetine, which gave bad side-effects. and then sertraline (zoloft), which, after 3-4 weeks started giving relief. So the dynamics was such: I stopped the drug, restarted it about 4 months later, waited for 5 weeks, then started new one (1-2 weeks), and then new one, which eventually started to work. The relationship still ended though, after a few more months. I didn't fall into pieces after that, although it was hard. 2009-2011 I was on Zoloft then (50mg). Looking back, things were more stable. not perfect, but I was able to live my life. In July-August 2011, I was in love, and thought I could do better if I reduced my antidepressant. I took 3/4 pill for a week and then half, since the beginning of August. By the end of August I was quite a mess. I didn't think about meds at all because I was dealing with relationship and I thought this all is psychological, and due to past traumas and my own illness, etc. I felt very raw psychological pain at this time, and it took a long time to get out of this hole - I remember hurting like hell all autumn. And we (me and psychiatrist) started messing with meds. I think at first we upped zoloft, to 1,5 tablets (75mg). I think it didn't help - therefore we switched me to citalopram. I think first at 1 tablet, then 1,5. it helped for a little, but then I think caused me to be very tired and stoned. I think I then reduced it again, and went to 0,5 tablets (somewhere in November). And then, in the end of January 2012 I quit that entirely. I ran out of meds, and then thought, what the hell, I don't want to take them at all. I realized that they were not helping very much, but I totally did NOT realize how much harm they are doing, especially if withdrawing! During all this autumn 2011, I was making intensive progress in therapy, so I attributed a lot of my feelings to psychological things. And at the end, we did quite remarking breakthrough, and I also felt better, so I naturally thought about dropping the pills. I experienced sudden and dramatic IMPROVEMENT in my condition, especially psychologically! I felt alive, sensitive, feeling, lighter, more awake, really connected to life and people and things! wow! I saw very vivid dreams and I swore that I even visually saw more clearly! I did feel also psysical sypmtoms - like dizziness, little nausea. but nothing so bad that I couldn't tolerate. In april, my mood starts swinging. I managed it with lots of meditation, and running, etc. but it continues and gets worse. Until in the end of June - boom - suddenly during a period of one week, I suddenly crashed so deep, it's hard to even describe it. The relapse was very sudden and steep. I deteriorated into suffering which is unimaginable. I had been through very, very painful mental illness periods before, but this was one of the two most awful crisis. and it didn't go away. new pdoc, at first reinstated zoloft, I think. didn't help. then swithed to paroxetine. things only got worse, paroxetine gave me horrible side-effects, besides everything else. then switched to buproprion. didn't help. at all. I ended up in the hospital. they started me on Prozac again. plus 50mg seroquel for sleep. This was in August, last year, 2012. Things actually did not improve after that, or improved really, really little. And I developed hypersomnia - sleeping 14-16 hours a day. But still feeling tired. We increased Prozac to 40mg, but after that I was reluctant to do any more changes. I felt that meds just don't help me anymore. And it proved to be correct, because for 8 months, there was very little improvement (all that time I stayed on 40mg prozac + 50mg seroquel). I started reading about meds. Before that, I had done ALL possible with psychological interventions. CBT, EMDR, intensive therapy, group therapy, ect. all things very helpful for personal growth, but unhelpful for feeling so bad still. now I started reading about meds. And vitamins and minerals. I read Whitaker's book, and finally understand what happened last year - that the horrible condition I ended up with, might be because of ending drugs too abruptly. It helped to give me back some security - at least I understood, what happened, and what almost caused me my life. I also read a lot about vitamins and minerals and mental health. I started taking lots of supplements in March, and noticed small improvement in my hypersomnia. Then I switched to Daily Essential Nutrients (former EmpowerPlus) in April. At the end of April I started tapering down Prozac, by 1/10 amount in month or more time. In June, I started gluten-free-casein-free diet (with the help of nutritional therapist). I have been improving since April. When I started DEN, it made me more tired for a week or so. And then, I think it started detoxification process in my body - I had violent headaches, woke up with swollen face, didn't tolerate alcohol at all (half glass of champagne gave me horrible hangover the next day). But those things passed - I think the headaches stopped completely when I started GFCF diet. My mood has definitely improved, if I look back a couple of months. I don't think about death anymore. I have more concentration, and my memory is better. although I'm not by any means in good shape, I'm out of crisis. My energy has improved more slowly, and hypersomnia as well, but they, too, are improving. There are days now when I can sleep 10 hours, and I'm very glad about it. I'm able to do more things. I think I feel prozac withdrawal after two weeks when I have reduced it. I plan to go in the same pace (4mg down each month) until 20mg, and after that go 2mg/month. and at the same time, reduce also seroquel. Whoah, that was a long story to write down. Thank you for anybody who had the energy to read it through! I have some questions for you, too... - does it also seem to you, that lot's of my problems are drug-induced - withdrawal-induced? - what about illness itself? lots of people here discuss how they were put on AD-s which in hindsight were not needed, and then developed problems. I had small depression even before drugs. after my moms death I was on low dosage and for little time (half a year). And I did have bad trauma in my life. My mood swings and depressions were bad without AD-s... - my first biggest crash coincided with quitting baby pills (hormones). I have long suspected there was a link. I think I was sensitive to chemical changes, and the stress and traumas had built up, but my body couldn't handle it anymore. I also think taking long time baby pills can deplete the body from some important vitamins/minerals, and cause biochemical mess in the body. I think I will have more questions down the way. It's nice to finally write and introduce myself to you!
  8. Hi everyone,✋I’ve been on a number of different meds in the past due to chronic pain: opiates, benzos, antipsychotics etc. I don’t remember all the names, but I was cold turkeyed at times with severe reactions. The reason I’m on the forum now is that I’ve been tapering off seroquel for many years, it’s the only medication I’m on. I’ve gone from 300mg to 7.5mg and am doing water titration now. I just have a quick question. If I accidentally doubled up on my dose one day does that make the withdrawals worse? I couldn’t remember if I took my dose of 7.5mg because of brain fog a week ago. I couldn’t sleep n thought maybe I didn’t take it as it usually makes me go to sleep, so I took another dose 1am 🌔 as I was so scared of what missing a dose might do. I thought the withdrawals from the last dose were starting the settle, but they’ve ramped up again. I know this happens anyway in withdrawal but I was just wondering if the double dose might have have affected this too? Thank u in advance for your input😊
  9. Hi there. Im new to this and am posting cause im worries that im never going to get better.... Had chronic headaches star from out of the blue c3.5 years ago and have had lots of drugs and every therapy, holistic, Physco treatment going. Now, headaches are less of a problem, still there 95% of time, but have anxiety, depression, anger, extra sensitivity to sounds and movement, disassociation, hopelessness etc. This has / is ruining my life, and I pray it will go back to normal - soon! For chronic headaches - amitriptyline - Started 10 Nov 2019 - 10mg up to 30mg. On that dose for 6 months, up until 10 days ago. Helped a bit with head pain, but bad and constant anxiety, depression, disassociation, (particularly awful). At the same time, for above symptoms, Escoltalpram 5mg - 10mg. Was on that from 1 Dec 2019 - mid Feb 2020 as it didn't help with anything. Since start March, on Sertoline (100mg) and Quetiapine 25mg daily). In the past I have been on Topirimate (had very bad side effects), Pregablin (helped a bit but stopped working) - all for chronic headaches. Ive decided, alongside a new psychiatrists (all of which i think are pretty useless tbh, im on my 4th), to stop the amitriptyline because i think its that which has increased any anxiety, moods and denationalization. Although its very difficult to know as all the symptoms and side effects are the same! Over the last 10 days, ive gone from 30mg, to 20mg, to 15mg and last night stopped altogether. I am now very worried about withdrawal, which seems to be all the same things i have already! So how is anyone supposed to get better, when no one can say whats what! I appreciate the complexities in all this. I think im looking for some advice if ive tappered off too quickly, what to expect and how long it might last. Also, if there is any hope of going back to "normal", how i spent the first 39 of 42 years! The only real time i feel sort of ok is when i drink a lot of alcohol - which i know isnt a great thing to be doing. any thoughts or comments welcomed. Rob
  10. Dear reader, after taking Prozac (40mg) for almost 15 years I started my (maybe) fourth trial to taper...on 5mg crash came and I fell into a horrible condition I never felt before (infernal ruminating, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, irrational thoughts and feelings, paralysed, deper- and derealization, mood swings and a lot of further weird and agonizing symptoms - my life came to stop)...reinstating the drug does not help as before...only a new medication with quetiapine (200mg) brought a little relief. Since the acute phasis in last September 18 -January 19 a wave and window pattern start with overall only 4-8 days with feeling almost normal in 2019. Now I am back in a terrible wave, started with anhedonia, very bad indescridable feelings like deepest depression, like almost dead and weird thoughts, acompanied by deper- and derealization. So, I really don´t now what to do - I am on 23mg Prozac and 187,5mg Quetiapine and feel very very bad. Looking back throug 2019 makes me feel very hopeless...I don´t think that I can stand another year like this. Can you give me an advice how to handle the situation? Maybe I need to taper the Prozac after its poopout... to help my nervous system heal? Maybe prozac is actually inhibit a healing after poopout...? I am lost... I will be very glad for every little advice... Thanks for reading an excuse my low english skills... All the Best, Mary
  11. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  12. I have been on meds since I was around 18, I am now 33, I have been tapering off all my meds for the last year now, I have managed to get off venlafaxine xr 75mg which I tapered off for around 4 - 6 months, and quetiapine 50mg over the last 12 months, I was on 200mg at one point and also tapered off diazapam 10mg, and also propranolol 10mg, I have been off all meds now for nearly 3 months and have been fine, I have been at the gym most days and eating healthy, I was starting to look good again and becoming myself again, I have not been human while on meds for the last lots of years, I was finally starting to enjoy life and then the last few weeks my sleep has been getting very fractured and I have been waking up very early with extreme brain fog, it feels like my head is going to explode sometimes, now the last 2 nights I have not slept at all and feel like death, I even took 2 melatonin tablets and they did nothing, what on earth is going on? I am worried I have done some serious damage to my brain, I am too worried to go and get checked at the doctors as I could not handle news that I have some brain disease, I have read that meds can cause effects many months after, can anyone give any advice/peace of mind?
  13. Admin note: link to benzo forum thread: freespirit123: Lunesta So I've been on Seroqoil nightly for about 3-4 months. I started on 100mg and that only lasted one night. Went to 75mg and that lasted for a couple of weeks then 50mg. Last month I went down to 25mg. And about 4 wks ago I've been on 12-14mg (cutting the 50 in 1/2 then the half in 1/2.) I'm also taking Lunesta 3mg at no hr and about once a week ill need Klonopin.25 bc I have a hard time falling asleep. I've also started Celexa for anxiety during the day. So question and problem! How do I get off this Seroqoil?!? Like is aid I haven't even taking it long to begin with and I've taped to 12-14mg fine but it seems to mess with my sleep when I try and cut that in half. Don't believe I have the EXtended tablet. Help!!! If it messes with my sleep, is it only temp? I don't want to switch this to get hooked on Klonopin bc that's a nasty drug too!
  14. Aria's recovery from poly drugs. I had no idea when I walked into a psychiatrist's office 25 yrs ago the horrible labyrinth I'd entered. Slam dunked at a point in my life when I was feeling low and the loss of future possibilities taken away. Being told I was mentally ill, would never function again, needed to be on disability and poly drugged for the rest of my life repeatedly took it's toll. All this impacted my relationships with family, friends and enjoying life. The pdoc constantly added new psych drugs, changed doses and took me off the old drugs at an alarming rate. I became a morbidly obese woman who mumbled or talked rapidly and it was obvious to everyone but the pdoc I was totally messed up on something. I had Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis that landed me in the hospital for quite awhile and my pdoc put in my open med chart I was crazy. I didn't know this till later but ill as I was I did notice some of my physicians were treating me oddly. One good thing about being so ill was I referred to a neurologist for chronic pain and found out my problem was profound drug induced Akathsia. This neurologist actually screamed at me, these psych drugs are killing you, they're killing you. I knew I had to get off these drugs not matter what it took and reclaim my life. At my next appointment I asked my psychiatrist why he was drugging me like this and he looked directly at me (probably for the first time in years he saw "me"). He started sobbing, loudly sobbing, "Oh God what have I done to you", over and over. I'm sitting there thinking oh crap, I don't need this. Our 15 minute med check was up and this guy calmly goes to the front desk to get the next patient and proceeds without any other fanfare. He's robot. A robot. All this in itself was mind boggling. Hell, closure?? No way. I found out I had Tardive Dyskinesia and a few other psych drug induced issues. My face was a road map with twitches and jerking that yelled hey, I'm on massive psychiatric drugs. Will my face be like this forever?? The TD has mostly gone away and I'm so grateful (the pdoc adamantly said I did not have Tardive Dyskinesia from psych drugs). Well, guess what?? The psychiatrist was wrong...horribly wrong. Other doctors, psychiatrist, therapists said you're not mentally ill and never had been. The sad but very scarey part is I'm labeled as profoundly mentally ill and that info is in my medical charts. One pdoc did this...one. I've gone through the gambit of emotions dealing with this. I will probably always be mad at this jerk for what he did to me and for what he still does to others. It affected years of my life and he was wrong. I'm a Success Story because I'm psych drug free and have been for several years. My journey was extremely difficult and I did it on my own hit or miss tapering off numerous psychiatric drugs. I endured drug withdrawals that paralyzed me month after month. Was it worth the hell of tapering? Yes, very much yes. My reward was my clarity of mind, my passions for life returned and I have hopes for my future. I mended fences with family and have made new friends. I strive everyday to be productive. I'm me but a different me because no one could go through all this and not be changed by it. (for more in-depth conversations about my struggles, coping and self awareness with surviving psychiatry please visit my ongoing thread Aria's Psych Journey http://survivinganti...psych-journey/)
  15. Hi, I am surfing this forum for over 2 years now. I took Mirtazapine in septembre 2017 prescribed by psychiatrist 15mg for 5 days and stopped because I felt "off", very dizzy & personality changes. Developed severe problems just after stopping. Could not talk on day 1, words would not come... 3 weeks later sleep was gone... so I sporadically took 7,5mg sometimes. Anyways... in Octobre I got into Psychiatry and Neurology to check out if I got some serious illnesss because I did not understand what was happening & could not connect it with the meds, thought they are totally benign. I got quetiapine & took it with low dose mirtazapine & developed dystonia & akathisia & stopped sleeping but still did not know what was happening so I CTed. After that I had 20 days no sleep, akathisia & all withdrawal/adverse symptoms imaginable. I could not relax or drift of to bed no matter what. This changed after 20 days I slept but it was toxic sleep.. like not the normal one I am used to... it was more like I slept because my brain couldn't manage it any longer. I still woke up with cortisol flashes every morning & akathisia. So I got on klonopin 1mg and life was somewhat ok... i tapered down to 0.5mg 3 months later and thought this will all go away soon, except that it didn't. ---- I complained of worsening vision, hearing, weakened perception of bodily sensations.... I feel like my body is still going through severe adverse/withdrawal reactions 25 months later... I feel like I sleep but I actually don't because since this started I feel like I am on cumulative sleep deprivation even though I sleep.... My body could manage cortisol spikes for a good year but then it got more and more derealized so I upped & upped the dose of klonopin till 8mg... I have no idea what to do now... my problem is that I feel like I haven't slept for a year or so.... even though I sleep because my symptoms are super super weird derealization. I feel like my mental space has gotten less and less for the last 2 years... Like if there is loud noise somewhere I can not talk because it takes over my brain... I have physically difficulty talking because it takes much more mental space to form sentences.... I feel like I am a complete outlier here because I can't idenfity myself with anybody who has symptoms like me. I am 27 and I just feel completely asleep while awake but not in a fun way anymore as I did in the first year. My vision & hearing are so completely off that I have serious difficulty percieving watching at my phone or something.... When I look into a room I literally feel like I am not processing enough... I wonder whether I should take some antipsychotics or antidepressants again because I literally feel completely hopeless, it's been too long already and I fear losing everything.... I can't continue living like this.
  16. Hello everyone, I would be grateful for some advice about which one of these drugs to taper from first. I am currently tapering the Quetiapine after a crisis last year when my dose was put up. My current medication: Escitalopram (Lexepro) 15mg - been on this for 10 years Quetiapine - 300mg - been on this for about 4 years Pregabline - 150mg - been on this for 3 months (and once in 2015 for about 6 months. I have been on Escitalopram for 10 years. At that time, I was also given Mertazapine 30mg which I was easily able to withdraw from quite quickly. I continued on the Escitalopram alone until 2013 when I felt brave enough to try and taper. I spent about 6 months doing this (but now realize that I was tapering much too quickly). I cleaned up my diet and self-care, took supplements and didn't experience any withdrawal symptoms. 2-3 months later, I woke up one day in extreme panic with the most intense physical sensations. A few months living with this constantly, I was suicidal and in crisis. I immediately went back on the Escitalopram.To cut a long story short, I was put on lots of different drugs again (on top of the Escitalopram) for 'treatment resistant depression' - Mertazapine, Lithium. Nothing helped, I became homeless and suicidal. After some time, I began taking Quetiapine 200mg and 150mg of Pregablin on top of the Escitalopram 15mg. In 2015 stabilised but don't believe it was because of the drugs. I came off the Pregabln using the liquid medication and didn't have any withdrawal symptoms. I was completely stable for about 4 years on this combination of drugs but hated the side effects of the Quetiapine - mainly weight gain and the disruption to my social life and it's extreme sedation. However in September 2019, completely out of the blue, with no triggers, again I woke up in extreme terror wit the same physical sensations which led me into suicidal crisis again and was hospitalised briefly. I didn't want to adjust my medication because I really didn't believe it was doing anything. If it was, how could this happen to me again? After a few months, I was so desperate, I sought out psychiatric input and my Quetiapine dose was put up to 450mg (50mg in the morning, 400mg at night). I have since stablized and have begun to reduce my Quetiapine dose. I have been reducing 25mg every week and am now on 300mg. Questions: In the last few years, I didn't have the courage to taper down from the 200mg of Quetiapine I was on for 4 years. Should I keep going on the taper I'm on now and try to get off it completely? My previous withdrawal from Pregablin in 2015 was easy. Should I start with this? When I withdrew from the Escitalopram in 2013 and had severe symptoms 2-3 months later, the psychiatrist said that this was the underlying illness recurring. I'm not sure this is true as I had no obvious triggers, no extra stress in my life. The drug i would most like to be free from is the Quetiapine. Thank you for any input.
  17. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  18. Hello here is a short summary of my symptoms and story: May 2019 Started fainting and feeling dizzy with neck pain July 2019 Collapse and spams in my neck weird twitching, started investigating. Two MRIs two short EEGS only minor finds. No epilepsy. Sept 2019 Sometime in the first week. 2 day EEG, this is where everything went wrong. Awoke a sleep myclonus strongly after first night with panic attacks. Didnt sleep for 3-4 days after. Collapsed. September 2019:Lorazempam given IV 4mg, for colapse and seizure like spams. Started panic attacks the same day later in the evening. Oxazempam started 15mg, 7,5 mg twice daily with quick taper quit after one week. Didnt return to normal sleep. A few days later. Quentiapine 50mg 2x daily for about 2 weeks. Then lessened once daily started breaking sleep again felt bad myclonus returned heavy. Quit after about 5 weeks. CT no nurse or doctor said to taper. A few days later still no sleep Mirtzapine was given 15mg once a day. Felt better slept again was ok for about two weeks. Third week started feeling sick, restless, sleep broke Myclonus returned.(day 26 of meds) 6 days of almost no sleep what so ever went to ER. Doctor wanted to increase dose to 30mg mirtzapine + 100mg quentiapine, I feel i was showing sertonin syndrome. I refused. I was saved by a psyc. nurse who told me to lower my dose to mirtzapine 7.5mg once a day. Felt better immediately next day. Continued 1 week slowly lost sleep again so quit CT. Felt great for about 9 days. Withdrawl hit. Sleep disappeared, tried to slowly get back to sleep with infrequent zyrtec 10mg tablet, tried once dose of 5mg then 2,5mg a few days after stressed about heartbeat. Sleep slowly returned. Felt sick on Dec 17th woke up all night abdomen hurt couldnt pee, Seeked doctor help, urinary blockage minor and infection in uterus. December 20th couldnt sleep still, Myclonus returned. Talked with Doctor in ER and psych nurse given one dose oxazempam 1/4 tablet (3,75mg) wanted to try clonazepam, suppliments started. 150mg magnesium, 10ug d3, 1 mg b12 once daily. Clonazepam 0,25mg started in evening, felt drowsy passed out not breathing well, husband startled me awake into breathing after he paniced. Was extremely restless and aggitated after so much so went to cold shower to calm down then fell asleep a little later. Took a break for two and half days still slept without meds, Then started lower dose 0,125mg once in morning ok Two and half days later lower dose 0,06mg once in evening ok Two days later same dose 0,06mg once in evening ok Myclonus returning lightly 4 day break, myclonus returns heavy. Reinstated 2.1 0,125mg Didnt feeling good was aggitated and restless. got some sleep but poor. 3.1 0.06mg was hoping to feel less aggitated I did but still some, slept very little. Myclonus returned at 5 am. 4.1
  19. Hello everyone, I've been lurking on this site for a while now, gathering knowledge on how to come off psychotropics. I'm 37 year old female with a long history of depressive episodes and have been taking SSRI's of some sort (must have gone through most of them by now!) since 1998, when I was 17. Around 4 years ago (it's hard to tell, as my memory is utterly atrocious) I had a bad time again with depression and had psychotic symptoms. I was put under a psychiatrist who prescribed me 75mg quetiapine, and upped my sertraline from 100mg to 150mg. I've been on sertraline around 12 years and I haven't had much of an issue with it. The quetiapine, on the other hand, I am not prepared to live on indefinitely. I have put weight on (although not a huge amount), my blood sugar levels are causing concern (I exercise regularly, eat sensibly, have no diabetes in my family), I am like a zombie until lunchtime and I don't think there's been a night in 4 years where I haven't woken stuck to the sheets from profuse sweating. At night, especially if I've exercised in the day, my body is like a furnace. Makes not much difference if the room I'm in is cool; my body's thermostat is on the blink. If I miss a dose, I just don't sleep. The next day I'm a wreck. The last time I saw the psychiatrist (about 2 years ago) I asked him about coming off quetiapine - I've been on the lowest dose of 25mg since then. He was really cavalier in his attitude and said "it's fine - just come off it when you want to". So around a year ago, after I'd been stable for a good while, I did. And I didn't sleep for a week. So I caved in and started taking the 25mg again. 6 months later, I wanted to try again, so I went to my GP and asked for a short course of zopiclone so I could sleep whilst coming off the smallest dose. She would only give me 5 day's worth of Zopiclone (UK guidelines) - and even then, I still couldn't sleep without Quetiapine. In addition, I developed INTENSE itching all over my body, in really localised areas. I know now this is a histamine reaction and a common withdrawal symptom for quetiapine. At the time I thought I had some sort of weird invisible skin infestation! So I went back on the Q again after a week. THIS TIME, I'm even better armed. Despite being told that stopping 25mg quetiapine would not cause any problems, as it's such a low dose, I know better. The tablets are tiny, but I'm cutting them in half and then half again. My plan is to reduce in stages, taking once month for each stage. 25mg - > 18.75mg - > 12.5mg -> 6.25mg -> 0mg. If I manage this, I could be off it in three months. I'm currently 2 weeks into stage one (reduced by 25%). The first few days I had a little trouble getting to sleep, but that soon rectified itself. My mood over the last week has been steadily getting lower and I've been feeling more "mental" and unable to cope with stuff. I know the Q can augment the Sertraline. I haven't told my GP yet that I'm doing this, because every time I've brought it up there has been resistance and he tries to persuade me to stay on it. Probably because another hospital admission is far more costly than continuing the drug! (cynical..? Moi..?!) I'm being the most sensible I've ever been as regards self-care. No alcohol, eating well, exercising regularly, good sleep habits, etc etc. Anyways. Here I am. Hope my mood improves over the next two weeks in time for stage 2, though I am prepared to stick longer between reductions if needs be. Lunar
  20. Hello I am 27 years old and was diagnosed with anxiety/ thought disorder when i was 21 they gave me Paxil and quetinepine. I took myself off at one point but had a relapse the. Had to go back on. I don’t want to take this medication anymore . I have lost weight i don’t feel like myself. Sometimes not happy and sleeplessness then lately i have been having headache not sure if it’s stress or the medicine. Then sometimes i think people are talking about me. Like people will be in another room and they are really taking but i hear them saying all she wants is money but i know they are not talking about me . Then one day i thought i heard the person on the tv say all she wants is money but i know the people on the tv not talking about me. I know i am not crazy but it’s very frustrating because my mom is the only person i can talk to but i want to find natural ways to get over this and off this medication so i can feel like myself again. Any help or suggestions is welcomed
  21. Amanda167

    Amanda167

    Hi. I've been on Paxil for 22 years with a few unsuccessful WDs in the past. I finally learnt that I was going way to fast so began during the 10% method from 15mg, everything was going well until I got to 7mg. I noticed that my last few prescriptions, I was constantly given a different generic and im sure my severe reaction was not only WD, but from being given yet another generic that I'd never has in the past ( paroxetine made by Milamed) as it coincides with the start of my severe WDs that started at the beginning of Feb 2019, I tried desperately to ride the storm but it got so severe with an endless list of symptoms that left me bedridden and had to give up work. 3 months of insomnia, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic, severe chest discomfort, etc left me wanting to end my life and I was taken to ER 3 times, they wanted to admit me to the psyche ward and I refused so each time, I went back home. From the 14th of May, 3 new meds were added.... Zoplicone.. to which I was grateful because i hadnt slept in months so have been taking half 375mg since. Quietiapine 25mg... to which I took for 5 days, then got scared and started tapering down and now on 8mg. Valium... I've been taking anything from 0.50mg daily to 4mg daily to try and take off the edge but obviously hasn't done much as mainly only taken 1 to 2mg on average for the past 4 weeks and now trying to taper that as to scared to just stop. On 1.3mg and trying not to keep switching doses. The only reason I kept switching as I never intended them to be permanent so wasn't paying much attention. As you can probably guess, I'm extremely cautious and trying so desperately not to rely on other meds and have a strong hate to big pharma. To add more confusion to what was once only 10 to 15mg of Paxil daily, I now have 3 other meds in the mix. And now it gets complicated... After hitting severe WD on the generic paroxetine from the 8th of Feb 2019, I updosed as follows... 29th April 19.... updosed to 8.5mg 07th May 19.... updosed to 9.5mg 14th May 19.... updosed to 10.4mg 29th May 19.... switched from generic brand to GSK Seroxat Paxil and stayed at 10.4mg and holding. The reason for my switch was because I had to decide on one brand and stick to it after finding out that generics can vary and I was so mad that my pharmacist kept giving me different generics. I strongly believe that the last one was bad and aided massively to my severe WD. Well, since switching to the GSK Seroxat Paxil, a new kind of hell broke lose, it felt so much stronger my head felt it was going to explode. It has been absolutely horrendous and I'm struggling to hold on and to make things more complicated, I don't know if the added meds are making things even worse. I'm so desperate to reach some stability and now know that messing with the other doses have probably not helped at all but was so desperate not to rely on other poisons. I don't know what to do to make things better, it's been a month since updosing but only 2 weeks on the GSK paxil and it's not working. Please can someone advise me??? Help me??? I feel like I've had an adverse reaction and being given more meds on a sensitized nervous system only complicated matters further... so desperate to know a way out. I would of given up if I didn't have an amazing 14 year old Son. I'm so sorry for the complication of my story and would truly appreciate if someone can offer some advise. I so wish I'd just held but I was so so desperate. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate that others are going through hell too and it's such a lonely frustrating painful journey x
  22. Hi, I have already become free of Mirtazapine (45mg), Venaflaxine (75mg), and Lithium (1200mg). I have Quetiapine (450mg) and Lorazepam (1mg) left to taper. My aim is to begin tapering Quetiapine on 1st December. I have read the articles and posts on this subject as a 'lurker' for some time. If I follow the 10% rule, I should start decreasing my dose of Quetiapine by 45mg a month. My question: should I just drop 45mg on the 1st of the month and remain on that dose for 1 month? Or, should I decrease by 12.5 per week for the first month? So, by the end of the first month I would have reduced by cc 50mg? I tried to start decreasing quetiapine about six months ago. I initially dropped the dose by 50mg in around 2/3 weeks - over confident and little research. This threw me into a complete state of anxiety/ panic for about 8 weeks so I stopped my taper and returned to my previous dose of 450mg. That was 6 month's ago and now it is time to taper again. Any advice appreciated. James
  23. hello all, thx for being here showing the way. my current doses and meds are listed in my signature... i take 68.75mg at night...one 50mg pill and the other a 25 mg pill that i try to "quater" into 6.25mg, not very succesfully! what i need help with now is finding my micro-taper rate and correct schedule, since i suck at math (failed it 2x in high school but they passed me because they pitied me for trying so hard and getting it so wrong!) i had been breaking my 25 mg pills into rough quarters but they no longer break anywhere close to 6.25 mg pieces...so i'm really suffering with the inaccurate pill splitting disaster. i'd love to try the ORA-Pro or actually this one: HUMCO 8916001 Flavor Blend 16 oz, Shape https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0773DL1XJ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&psc=1 it's way cheaper looks the same stuff to me...and do a suspension with it and see if i can get a more accurate dose, but after reading all the pages i can find on this site and benzo buddies and others i am still confused... the video on how to make a simple water titration that was for low dose naltrexone as an example showed me how to do the basics measuring 25 ml distilled water and dissolving a 25 mg pill in it for a 1mg medication per 1 ml liquid ratio. i understand that part. and as far as i got it, i would take my nightly 50mg pill of quetiapine whole as a dry pill and then draw out the 6.25mg/6.25 ml of liquid medication from the water solution and dispose of it and then drink/take orally the remainder of the liquid (18.75mg/ml) to make my current total nightly dose of 68.75mg of quetiapine. seems like i could be doing 5 mg/ml cuts instead of 6.25 if i use the solution or a suspension though...and i think i may be going to fast, or at leat the cuts are too abrupt, so i really want to do a microtaper, if someone could do the math part and then maybe i'd have a chance.☺️ where i get messed up is how to mix the ORA-pro/HUMCO suspension liquid with the (mortar and pestle crushed) 25mg pill of quetiapine and then how do i know how much to syringe out of the mixed suspension for my 18.75mg liquid portion dose? or if i did a 20mg/ml would it be easier to measure out? or if i did a microtaper of something closer to a fraction of a mg/ml every few days instead of 6.25mg cut every 4 weeks, maybe that would allow for a smoother taper and less rough withdrawals? i honestly don't even know how to divide 6.25mg by 28 days! i guess you can see why i failed math 2x! anyways... i 'd love to do the 10% (or less) reduction from the last dose as is reccomended, instead of the Ashton method of a "cut and suffer" that i've been trying to emulate...but all of the calculators and spreadsheets just serve to confuse me even more. if anyone here feels my pain and would like to point me to a "micro-taper schedule off of seroquel for dummies" chart or table that shows me exactly what to do for each day of the microtaper ...i don't know what i can offer in return! my eternal gratitude? my kidneys? lol thx again
  24. I want to know how to detox from all the psychiatric drugs that I took in order to make possible for my body not to need to take them anymore and to eliminate all the side effects that the psych drugs gave me. This is all the drugs that I took from psychiatrists: when I was 16 years old I took first paxil and rivotril (clonazepam) for a year and then only epival er (valproate semisodium) for a year and Then when I got 21 I took paxil and rivotril for 6 months. I changed to a 2nd psychiatrist he gave me symbyax (olanzapine and fluoxetine) I was with him for 4 months, then I went with a 3rd shrink that gave me lamictal and abilify for 6 months so then I changed with a 4th doctor which was a "neurologist" who gave me strattera for ADD and told me to go with his partner who is another psychiatrist (5th doctor) who added me sertraline, topamax (topiramate), olanzapine, lamictal, and because of the tachycardia that were produce by this drugs he added inderalici for my tachycardia. So after 7 months with this doctor I went with a 6th doctor that gave me paxil, rivotril, lithium and for my ADD he gave me methylphenidate (commercial name is tradea LP which is similar to Concerta). After 6 months with this doctor I changed to a 7th doctor that gave me sertraline in a very high dose and with this I decided to stop taking that pill a was taking but in a one day span it caused me to have a psychosis that made my father send male nurses to kidnapped and locked into a clinic (like hospitalization), in which the skrink that trated me was the one that treated me when I was 16 and he injected me haldol and gave pills more haldol, biperiden, triazolam and risperdal. I LIVED HELL WITH THESE DRUGS. Then the shrink after he saw that I recover reality, I was super depressed so he gave me citalpram but it didn't work so he gave me paxil and lithium. Then I started coming off meds and now I just take one quarter of a lithium pill every day in the morning. My actual side effects that I want to eliminate are: anxiety, very strong heart palpitaions or beats/beating that cause bad breathing and chest pain, difficulty to take decisions, nausea, extreme itching in my face, head, chest and back, buzz in the ears, difficulty to focus or concentrate, bad short-term memory, and wanting to pee all the time. Thank you very much.
  25. Hello. I had severe postpartum depression which started at 8 weeks postpartum in December 2017. It was endogenous and melancholic...lots of agitation and anxiety, pacing around, taking on psychotic features. I was put on Seroquel XR 100 mg and 50 mg on seroquel IR both in the evening. Ive managed to come down on the IR by going down 12.5 mg every 2 weeks. I waa fine but once I got to zero (just using the 100 mg XR and no IR) I was hit with nausea, throwing up, loss of energy and anxiety. Also horrendous diarrhea. This feels like the flu its unbearable. What do I do now? How can I wean slowly off the remaining XR when they only come in 50 mg tabs and you cant break them? Scared :(
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