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  1. Hello first time poster here, another despairing Mirtazapine user. As per my signature below I reinstated 15mg per night since late May of 2021. It's now 4th Jan 2022 and facing work today after having another night of insomnia. I did have a nightmare so that would indicate I got some sleep of 1-2 hours at least. 30th was total insomnia, 31st slept well, 1st total insomnia, 2nd slept well and now back to insomnia on the night of the 3rd. The most distressing element of these drugs is the sleep disturbances. I would be more at peace had I been off them, but this is happening even prior to a taper and at the 15mg "therapeutic dose". Just looking for guidance/advice/reassurance. The second most disturbing part is the lonliness and the conflicting information between Dr's and the experiences of those who have struggled with this drug.
  2. Hi All, Firstly thanks for the excellent site and taking the time to review my post. History is long, so in the interest of time, 20 yrs on SSRI's (i've tried virtually all but had most luck with prozac and lexapro) with a 4 month bout of Remeron (awful w/d not helped by cross taper) and benzo's on/off for 8 years or so. Benzo: I've successfully switched from .5mg of clonazepam/day to 10mg valium and i'm now at 2mg per day. A bit more about this below. SSRI: Was on 20 mg for celexa for the last several months but completely zombified so decided it's finally time to be done with this sh1t I dropped relatively quickly per docs orders with really no impact down to 5mg celexa completely stopping the celexa and valium on May 1. Started 10 mg prozac only May 1, by May 4 really awful DR with anxiety, inability to focus, sleeplesness, headaches. Reinstated 1-2 mg valium which helped a little bit. Yesterday i tested the waters and dropped the prozac down to 5 mg to see if agitation was from that which resulted in bad anxiety, chills,and shaking. Took the other 5 g prozac and an additional 1mg valium which helped a bit. Today slightly better back at 10mg prozac and 2mg valium in the morning. I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow and really don't know what to do and not sure i trust his opinion frankly but do believe he will be fine with what i recommend. I consider these the following my options: 1.) Reinstate celexa at last dose (5mg?), drop prozac entirely after a week or 2, and keep valium, then micro taper off at 10% per 3 weeks or so. 2.) Hold steady on prozac and valium for awhile (how long?) then micro taper 3.) Something else? Any thoughts are much appreciated and i apologize for any incoherence in this post but just got back from work trip and wanted to get this out there for the educated folks to review asap. Many thanks for any input and your time!!! methuselah
  3. Topic title before reducing: 5 months into Lexapro withdrawal & really struggling. Considering a possible reinstatement of 0.5mg Hello Everyone. I’m glad to be here with you all. Although I wish that none of us had to be experiencing any of this distress at all. I’m currently approaching my sixth month of withdrawal from Lexapro. I have been on SSRI’s of various forms since 1999. Originally prescribed for anxiety and depression that were a natural response to life in a dysfunctional family and stressful life events. I have been tapering very slowly since 2014. Got down to 2.2mg from 5mg in 2018 and held there as I was dealing with thyroid issues which required my focus, then perimenopause. I’ve been very busy rebuilding my business post lockdowns (I work part time from home) and planning a move since December and forgot to take my Lexapro for several weeks before Christmas. I thought (wrongly in hindsight) that this might be a good time to withdraw as I was on relatively low dose. However, Lexapro is stronger than most SSRIs mg for mg from what I’m aware through research and personal experience. I previously attempted withdrawal from Citalopram in 2010 - according to doctors instructions over a matter of weeks. Much too quickly knowing what I know now. I was ok at first but around the 6 month mark I suffered horrendous protracted withdrawal - derealisation and depersonalisation that I’d never suffered previously. This is when I started on Lexapro as I had an adverse reaction when Citalopram was reinstated. I’m around the 6 month mark again and it has only clicked that my issues may be withdrawal related. I’ve been focused on my thyroid / peri menopausal issues which have a lot of overlapping symptoms when under-treated. Main symptoms - I can’t get started on or complete tasks, everything is taking immense effort to get motivated and to complete. I watched a Robert Sapolsky video on you tube recently. He describes ‘retarded motor function’ associated with depression - which is very similar to what I’m experiencing. Also impulse control problems when I’m usually very calm and considered, especially in what I say to others. I feel like my personality has been hijacked. My sleep is erratic and mood is very low. I either feel tearful, fearful or snappy. I’m usually positive and enthusiastic. I’ve also had physical problems like back ache, a sciatica flare, joint pain, tinnitus, headaches, temperature dysregulation/ sweating, dizziness & vertigo. I also experienced what I think was akathisia this week - extreme inner and external restlessness, couldn’t feel settled, sense of impending doom and feelings like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. This came out of the blue with no stressor preceding. I’m struggling to function to work or socially. I haven’t been out much at all this year due to these symptoms and feel very isolated and lonely. I enjoy my own company but also need and benefit from the companionship of the right people around me at intervals. I love the sunshine, it’s the time of year that I feel most alive, happy and healthy. We don’t get much sun in the UK. So I usually make the most of every ray! But this year, I can’t bear to go out in the sunshine - it just makes me feel sad. Like a spotlight shining on how depleted I’m feeling and the darkness I’m experiencing. I’ve also noticed that during my withdrawal, I have attracted a few toxic, emotionally unhealthy, manipulative people that I no longer speak to. I’m guessing this is because my energy and judgement is off balance and my boundaries / filters aren’t as strong right now which makes me more vulnerable. I’m having very strong (neuro?) emotions. Feelings of shame, failure, paranoia, hopelessness and helplessness. Every negative issue that arises feels exaggerated, heightened and distressing. I’m overthinking everything, but can’t stop doing this, even when I know that’s what I’m doing. I seem to spend the best part of my day worrying and berating myself often speaking out loud to myself in recent weeks. Not in a helpful way the way that some people do. But harshly. Often not making sense. My self esteem is very low and I feel under immense stress and have very low functioning currently. In the past month I also had Covid and viral meningitis at the same time. I was bed bound for a week and it was very scary. Some of my symptoms may be from post viral fatigue? Thyroid? Peri menopause? Stress? It’s very difficult to unpick what is causing what. Although things like impulse control difficulties and akathisia have only ever been present during withdrawal attempts. I’m caffeine free, eat a healthy diet and do not take any medication other than HRT estrogel and micronised progesterone and Armour thyroid. I was also prescribed testosterone to help with stamina, confidence and sleep but haven’t commenced that yet due to the strength of my negative neuro emotions. Testosterone may amplify these which wouldn’t be at all helpful. I was exercising daily last year but haven’t been able to with any frequency or consistency this year. I take magnesium in the form of Epsom salts and spray, b complex and B12 which tends to be low due to my thyroid issues, vitamin D3 and K complex. As much as I’m loathe to reinstate at all, my level of functioning is very low currently and deteriorating. I do not have the luxury to take an extended period of time off work to endure this as I need to be able to support myself financially. Maybe a very low reinstatement of 0.5mg may help me to be functional again and not mired in such distressing symptoms? I hope that what I’ve wrote makes sense? Ruminating about writing the wrong thing here will no doubt take up part of today… I’d be very grateful for any views, thoughts and advice from a community of people who understands what I’m going and the dilemma I’m facing. Thank you so much!
  4. Hi everyone. First of all, thank the founder and the SA moderators. I feel that creating the SA forum to help people who are in a complicated process with medication is a really compassionate act. Likewise, I would like to thank all the brave people who share their experiences here. Second, I apologize and request your patience with my English. I am Spanish and it is not my native language. I will try to express myself as best I can. Here is my story. When I was 22 years old (2012) I began to experience tension headaches, probably due to academic pressure (I am a psychologist). Because of this, little by little I began to experience anxiety and low mood and at 6 months I was feeling pretty bad. For this reason, I started going to therapy and also went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist prescribed me sertraline and benzo to reduce the initial impact of the sertraline. After a month, I was taking 100 mg of sertraline in the morning and benzo was withdrawn. During the following months, with the help of medication and therapy, I began to improve. I was taking 100mg of sertraline without any side effects for about 2,5 years. At two and a half years, I was traveling in India and I was interned in a hospital for gastroenteritis due to some bad food. I didn't have the pills with me, so I didn't take them for a week. When I realized that it had been two and a half years and my psychiatrist had told me that we would withdraw the medication when I felt better, I decided it was a good time. I retired 100 mg (cold turkey). At the time, I knew absolutely nothing about the withdrawal effects. No one had told me anything about it. When I took it off I didn't feel anything strange. I continued my life. However, three months later I began to experience bizarre symptoms that I had never had before, palpitations, very fast peaks of anxiety, crying etc. I held on for a couple of weeks, but I worried and called to the psychologist and psychiatrist again. The psychiatrist then told me it was a relapse. He prescribed me 50mg and told me it would be for life (like a person with diabetes take insulin, he told me). He assured me that it was safe, that it had no side effects, that science said that it could be taken without problem for life and that if one day I wanted to take it off it would not generate dependency. After a long conversation, I ended up trusting him and started retaking 50 mg. Now I think a protracted withdrawal syndrome can explain those symptoms, and the psychiatrist did not tell me the truth. Within days of reinstating sertraline, all symptoms subsided. However, within a few months, I started having side effects from the medication for the first time. Basically, I felt akathisia, brain fog, difficulty to think, bloating and stomach pain, and diarrhea. Since I was doing a Master's, it disabled me a lot to study. Hold on for a while and I mentioned it to the psychiatrist, but he told me it was normal and nothing was wrong. I noticed that taking sertraline at night (11 pm), the secondary symptoms improved a little with sports and mindfulness, but they only got worse over time. Since then, sports and mindfulness have always helped me, but I always got up in the morning with the side effects, which subsided around noon (2-3 pm). One day I decided not to take the pill at night and I found that I woke up without the side effects and that I could work much better in my day. So I started to alternate the doses. I took the sertraline every other day. So at least half of my week, I had a better quality of life. I mentioned it to the psychiatrist, and he told me that it was fine if that regimen went well. So from sometime in 2013 until the end of July 2021, I have been taking 50mg sertraline like this. On Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights I took sertraline, and on Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning I had the side effects that I tried to mitigate with swimming and meditation. At noon (2-3 pm), the side effects subsided. I never had inter-dose withdrawal effects during all these years. I have read in this forum that it can happen, but I did not experience it. Now I know, thanks to this forum, that skipping doses seems like a non-recommended practice. I didn't know and I regret it. In July I finished my Ph.D. on Clinical and Health Psychology. My problems motivated me to do a Ph.D. about the use of mindfulness with children to prevent the early onset of anxiety and depression. When I finished, I was tired of the side effects and decided to start to taper the sertraline. I wanted to stabilize the drug on a stable daily dose and then taper it little by little. Once my psychiatrist told me that instead of taking sertraline three days a week (150 mg a week), I could take 25 mg every day at night (175 mg a week). I felt mentally strong, so I started to make this change on August 1 before going on vacation. I thought it was a good time. But it has gone wrong and I have been destabilized like never before in my life. On August 22 I discovered this forum (SA) and started reading. With the reduction to 25 mg every day I have been able to experience how the side effects of sertraline diminished (by 10 am I almost no longer had akathisia, mental fog, etc.). However, I have experienced many symptoms associated with increasingly difficult withdrawal symptoms. In the first days with 25 mg, the symptoms were tolerable, but on days 19-22 August I feel extreme weakness, drowsiness, motor slowness, weakness, blurred vision, extreme tiredness, no energy to talk, crying, no ability to think, introversion, jaw tension, inability to concentrate, derealization, etc. I have never had any of these symptoms before. So I thought about reinstalling. I read in SA that I was within the 4-week window to reinstall and that I could reinstall an mg or two, but I had no idea how to reinstall a mg or two of my 50mg sertraline pill. All I could do was cut it into roughly four equal parts and take 37.5 mg instead of 25 mg. So, I began the process on the night of August 22. On the morning of August 23, I woke up much better, but the typical side effects of akathisia, brain fog etc. had returned. So I continued taking 37.5 mg, but I felt that the drug had more and more power each day I took it, and after 4 days, my body could not tolerate it. I felt intoxicated. On days 27 and 28, I experienced insomnia, anxiety, desire to vomit, severe stomach aches, severe dizziness, severe mental fog, diarrhea, despair, difficulty walking, stunned, crying, severe stomach pain (cramps). I was in a hotel and could hardly get to the breakfast room. I've never felt this before either. Seeing how things were going, my partner convinced me to stop and not take the 37.5 mg dose on the 28th at night. It was really hurting me (I guess serotonin syndrome possibly). That night I was able to sleep, and on the 29th, when I woke up, although I was weak, I felt much better. I did not doubt that my body was not tolerating the 37.5 mg each day. In the last three days, I have continued to alternate the doses to try to stabilize myself. On the 29th, I took 37.5 mg; on the 30th, I do not take it; today, the 31st, I will take it. This is a summary of how I have felt ever since. - From 28 to 29 (not take 37,5 mg): I sleep somewhat better. My symptoms go away even though I'm still unsettled. I feel like the level of intoxication goes down. Weakness but a feeling of recovery. - From 29 to 30 (take 37.5): I sleep better, although the classic side effects I had with 50mg returned—Akathisia, mental fog, etc. In the morning, the side effects lasted; in the afternoon, they diminished. At night I was fatigued. Possibly a beginning of withdrawal symptoms inter-doses?. - From 30 to 31 (not take 37,5 mg): Today, I have slept well, but I did not rest. I feel the withdrawal symptoms again; they are similar to when I dropped to 25 mg, especially the drowsiness and extreme fatigue. And here I am. Trying to stabilize me. And I really don't know what to do. I have made an appointment with a new psychiatrist who has been recommended to me. He has written scientific literature on reducing antidepressants and reviews said that he is empathetic and listens. I am hopeful that we can do something to stabilize myself. I feel in a maze. Trapped. With 25 mg every day, I have withdrawal symptoms, with 37.5 every day I cannot tolerate it, and taken 37.5 mg every other day it seems that withdrawal symptoms emerge (which I never happened with 50 mg in 7 years). I wonder, therefore, what I can do since I am suffering. I am a mindfulness instructor, clinical psychologist and researcher, and it is challenging for me to carry out my work under these conditions. Feeling that it will be a long process, I have reduced my the workload for the next few months. If I can't stabilize myself, I will have to stop working. I hope you can help me in this process. Some questions that I have in my mind now are: - What sertraline regimen should I take? Should I switch to another drug to stabilize myself and then try to reduce the dose once stabilized in amounts of 5% -10% with a liquid formulation? - Could it be that my body and nervous system have adapted to taking the medication every other day and now it cannot tolerate taking the drug every day? - How is it possible that taking sertraline (short-lived SSRI) has not had any withdrawal effects in alternate doses? Could it be because of how I metabolized sertraline and how my body adapted to it after 7 years? - Should I reinstate 50 mg every other day, as usual, and see if I stabilize and then reduce by 5% -10% taking sertraline? (I am aware that the doses should never be skipped, but given my situation, I wonder if I have no other option if my body has adapted to that). For now that. Sorry about the length of the story, but I feel it's better to write it accurately for the first time around so we can work from now on. If you don´t understand something because of my English just let me know and I will try to explain better. Thank you very much for your compassionate help. Warmly, Maze.
  5. hi,all been on &off antidepressants for 20 yrs but never felt this crummy.since stopping Paroxetine have had flu-like symptoms ,then fatigue loss of appetite,taste changes,eye problems(excessive blinking actually started while on it,that's why I quit).depression,anxiety,just miserable,wondering if I should reinstate or just try & hang in there.I was on it about 6 mos.stopped May 4 after about 7 wk taper.thanks for any suggestions
  6. I took my last dose of duloxetine on February 11, so almost 5 weeks ago. Things don't seem to be getting any easier. For the first couple of weeks, I had some physical symptoms like nausea and brain zaps, but those have passed. I've been feeling a succession of intense and unpleasant emotions--irritability to the point of rage, anxiety, grief--throughout, but now I seem to be descending into a real pit of feeling what I've always called "depression"; a heavy, dark, nauseating ache. Some history: Started citalopram in 2008; prescribed by family doctor; by 2010 I was up to 50 mg. Started seeing a psychiatrist in December 2010. Over the course of 2011, I tapered from 50 mg down to 20 mg, then settled in at 20 mg (with occasional increases to 25 or 30 mg) until around 2018. Tapered down from 20 mg to 5 mg over at least a year(?) starting in 2018, until fall 2019. Experienced a major, unprecedented episode of intense anxiety and insomnia in fall 2019 that lasted at least two months; went from 5 mg back up to 20 mg in six weeks. Stayed on citalopram until November 23, 2021. On recommendation of family doctor and psychiatrist, I switched to duloxetine. I tapered off of citalopram, from 20 mg to 15 mg (over one week), from 15 mg to 10 mg (over two weeks); then started duloxetine 30 mg. Increased to 60 mg after two weeks. It was recommended to me as a possible treatment for chronic musculoskeletal pain, as well as depression. Stayed on 60 mg duloxetine until January 16, 2022 (for almost five weeks). Started getting intense night sweats about three weeks in, and no chronic pain relief, so told my doctor(s) I wanted to get off it. Went down to 30 mg duloxetine until January 31 (for two weeks), then started skipping doses (I know, but I had never heard of bead counting; I just followed the advice I was given). Two days on, one day off for five days; then two days off, one day on for six days; end date February 11. I would never consider going back on duloxetine, but I am thinking seriously about going back on citalopram. When I talked to my psychiatrist last week about this, and about the feelings I've been having since I stopped taking duloxetine, she said I should do whatever I think I need to. But she also made it clear that she doesn't think I currently have a "disorder" that warrants an antidepressant, and that I am experiencing such strong feelings because I am no longer subject to the antidepressant "side effect" of "emotional muffling." She also doesn't think that I am in withdrawal anymore, after four weeks plus. TreeFrog
  7. I'm really unwell and frightened. Please be patient with me, I'll explain my dilemma here. I'm just terrified and desperate... Be warned, I'm also autistic. This might effect how I express myself. TL;DR - 1. Can Sertraline side effects stay permanently if I went cold turkey before getting past them? 2. Can taking another antidepressant get rid of these withdrawal symptoms? 3. So far 5 months of emotional flatness, consistent dissociation and disturbed sleep (insomnia). It's been a long 5 months since quitting Sertraline back in March. I have gone through a cluster of withdrawal symptoms ranging from uncomfortable to disabling. And after waiting this many months, I'm now caught between my options. Either 1. waiting it out, or 2. taking another antidepressant, or even 3. (which is a risk) reinstate with a smaller dose of Sertraline. Now in an ideal world I should be able to speak to a psychiatrist and seek their help, instead of being stuck here trying to figure things out on my own. A few weeks ago I found old notes of mine from 2016 regarding similar issues I'm having today, inability to feel tiredness, inability to sleep, anhedonia, detachment from myself and surroundings. This was after a negative reaction to Riseridone, a drug I tried using in 2016 to help my symptoms (anxiety, depression). It was a drug that I couldn't stick with as it tightened my throat and made things hurt. At the time I didn't have access to a psychiatrist who would help me taper off the medication, instead I resorted to calling NHS 111 on April 10th 2016. I was told it would be safe to go off cold-turkey. Afterwards got thrown into heavy insomnia and my emotions flattened. Yet here is the catch. Around the same time I was prescribed Sertraline, and this means I'm now trying to figure out whether those symptoms were caused by stopping Riseridone or starting Sertraline. I'm hoping next week to retrieve my notes and see what date my prescription was given, as if the Sertraline didn't cause those issues I'm wondering if restarting that medication in March and stopping brought back my Riseridone withdrawal symptoms. And this isn't all. I'm also trying to establish whether I was on a too high of a dose, because when I was first prescribed Sertraline I was given 25mg to begin with for 4 weeks before increasing up to 50mg. This time I started immediately on 50mg after being told by someone that "25mg is a child's dose". I shouldn't have taken Sertraline in March... but then again I shouldn't have taken 50mg and instead taken the lowest possible dose. I'm even trying to make a comparison between an experience I had when starting on 100mg Sertraline back in late 2016. Jumped from 50mg to 100mg and immediately felt awful and detached. Put myself back down to 50mg and those symptoms cleared up. Same symptoms I had when restarting on 50mg this year... so now I wonder if there's any possible way to break through this. So far it's been 5 months of nonstop Hell and this needs to be stopped somehow. First I'll find out when I was prescribed Sertraline. If those are Riseridone withdrawal symptoms (insomnia, dissociation) then I might try 25mg and go upwards. (This is because I'm out of options, I'd rather go back onto an antidepressant to stop these symptoms and then taper off properly). I heard insomnia from SSRI can eventually fade out. The last time I had the insomnia and anhedonia I was taking Sertraline and eventually everything returned. I'm going to be taking a risk. I don't want to make things worse or prolong the withdrawal syndrome (since I've already overcome the worst of my mania). I don't want to take anything if things are slowly improving (if I could be SSRI free until March next year and have regained most of my brain, that would be a relief -- not because antidepressants don't work, but because I wouldn't need to use any to alleviate these issues). And I don't want to take Sertraline if a drug like Fluxoetine can get rid of these problems (if Fluxoetine or any other medication can get rid of these issues, I'd stay with it for a while, so long as the pros outweigh the cons.) I just want my head back... And just as a note. When I ingested 50mg in March, I wasn't expecting those symptoms. I wasn't expecting to feel instantly messed up. This is what scared me. I noticed the insomnia and detachment creep in shortly after and hoping that going cold turkey would prevent this from being an issue. I thought, "the sooner the better". Not realising that withdrawal symptoms can go dormant for a while, when it comes to Sertraline you can stop and feel fine for a while. Between 2019 (September) - 2020 (March) I was absolutely fine. Perhaps it reinstated the Sertraline withdrawal? Maybe my body went into shock from not taking it for so long. Who knows.
  8. Hi everyone. I am hoping to get some much needed (and very much appreciated) advice on my situation. As you see, I had been on Sertraline for almost 2 years, or around the two year mark, before I began a too fast taper in 2016 which lead to my withdrawal syndrome in September 2016. My doctor had me taper in 6 weeks completely off Sertraline, jumping off at 25mg and not even tapering the 25mg, just cold turkeying the 25 per his instruction. Well, I was feeling some withdrawal symptoms, I just didn't realize what they truly meant, and my doctor had told me not to worry 'they will clear up in a few weeks" well they didn't really clear up, but actually got worse two-three months later. I want to make this as short as possible so it is easy to read, but long story short, I ended up reinstating Sertraline at 12.5mg first week, at the same time tapering the 30mg of buspirone my doctor had tried to test out on me for almost two weeks. Each week, he upped my dose of Sertraline during my reinstatement, until I reached 57mg and my body rejected anything above the 57mg. However, I did not know anything about withdrawal or tapering back then, and realize that I was put on way too high of a dose for reinstatement. This has me very scared and very anxious, I try hard not to be, and most of it is likely neuro related, but I wonder what I can do if I feel it's too high? I've got the anhedonia, but I've had this since December, and it actually was brought on more or less by my doctor trying to put me back up to 75mg, maybe that was just a coincidence, but I am not so sure. Each adjustment of the sertraline left me with worsened insomnia, worsened panic, trembling and what I can only describe as body jolts every morning for four months straight. And trying to sleep at night I felt like I was having seizures almost, where my body would jolt me awake just as I was drifting off to sleep, heart would be racing, fear and panic would run rampant and worsen in the morning. I still have mild teeth chattering every morning and especially when the anxiety or stress comes on. I reinstated pretty quick, where I reinstated as soon as my withdrawal symptoms started getting worse, I didn't wait it out even though I really wanted to. I didn't want to go back on the medication after what it had done to me, but didn't know what else to do. Then, everyone I trusted, my doctor especially, had me convinced I had developed several new mental disorders in a matter of three days. I was so so scared, and my anxiety was through the roof. I really stressed myself out a lot trying to figure out "what was wrong with me" because I did not know at the time. On top of that I had the professionals I trusted assuring me it was my "symptoms coming back" (they actually said that right after I already told them I never ever had these symptoms before in my life, not even one of them.) Then I happened to find SA, during my research into my symptoms and the ssri I was taking. I learned a lot in one night, and my jaw dropped. My gut had been telling me all this time it was the drug, it was withdrawal. But I ignored it and listened to the "experts" instead. HUGE MISTAKE!! Now I am stuck in a situation that makes me fear for the future, and not sure what I can do now that I am back on a higher dose. If I would've known better, I would not have allowed my doctor to titrate me up so high. I would've sat at the lowest possible dose, even the 12.5mg. My withdrawal symptoms had really settled down a lot for the last two or three months now though. My appetite came back, libido came back, depression lifted almost instantly upon reinstatement, the anxiety and panic took a while to lift but that has really settled down a ton and only sporadically (maybe lasting a second or two) I'll feel a blip of panic and anxiety (typically when under a lot of built up stress), and my biggest gripe for withdrawal symptoms as of now is the anhedonia, but even that was beginning to lift where I'd get moments of joy or contentment or my interests peaking through the veil of anhedonia. My sleep actually went back to normal in the last week or two, and I haven't been waking with the dread or anxiety for the past three months now, and I have been feeling pretty good except now I got back into this wave and I think it's because I'm stressing over tapering and my dosage after what I read last night. I read on SA someone said that being on too high a reinstatement dose can permanently damage your brain, where you will never heal from it. So I am really scared... I really need advice or wisdom on where to go from here. At this point, I worry I'll always feel this way and I'll never recover any further than where I currently am. I'd be fine if I felt somewhat normal, where I could handle the withdrawal symptoms temporarily until they pass, and I do admit that on my better days I certainly can handle them. But I feel like reinstatement was pointless or worse for me than just muscling through the withdrawals after what I read about high dose reinstatement. I feel like A) it's going to take forever just to stabilise on this dose and B it's going to be painful trying to taper when the time comes, due to that I may have permanently damaged my brain with my reinstatement. I guess what I am wondering now is, do I stay on this dose and wait for the anhedonia to completely go away, or how do I know when I am ready to begin tapering? At this point I am just feeling very confused and afraid about my dose and tapering in the future. I feel lost. I'd really appreciate any help! Thank you!
  9. Hi I withdraw Lexapro for 1 year completely facing unbearable withdrawals and again started for 6 months slowly tapered to 5 and was on 2.5 for 1 year and again quit for 5 months .. crashed very badly again and now reinstated 5 mg for 1 month .. when will my symptoms improve .. and is there anyone who really quit this hell and leading their life again .. PKEASE PKEASE OKEASE HELP ME
  10. Before describing my situation, I want to start by thanking all those who have posted here, particularly those few who keep it updated and try to organize it. Even though today I'm in at a really low point, the information I've found here has been extremely valuable. I hope that I can not only continue getting good information, but that maybe my story might help somebody else sometime. Apologies in advance if I am too long-winded or detailed. CASE HISTORY AND WD SYMPTOMS: I'll skip the ancient history. In short I started taking citalopram in my twenties for depression., and I'm now 46, so it has been around 20 years. I can't recall dosages, but for the last few years I've been on only 10mg. Finally feeling like I was in a fairly stable place in my life, I thought I'd see if I could go off them. I knew this had to be done "slowly", but what this meant exactly was pretty vague. I dropped down to 5mg, and stayed like that for a long time (6 mo?), with no ill effect. I had the impression that this was the lowest medically effective dose, so I could do no more tapering. I may have done a couple weeks of every-other-day, but in February 2020 I stopped altogether. I thought (wrongly, it seems) that was tapering enough. I recall having a couple of weird initial weeks, but I'd describe the withdrawal symptoms as manageable (no depression, just dizziness, lightheadedness, nausea and what I now know to be "brain zaps"). My doctor had given me 0.25mg tablets of Alprazolam (Xanax, "benzo") and I was instructed to take 1/2 a tablet only when feeling sufficiently bad, but I tried to take that as little as possible. These symptoms mostly lifted, and, if I recall correctly, I proceeded to have a couple of quite decent months. It was a lovely spring in spite of Covid, I was focused on my work and quite happy overall. But there were some odd things: I was irrationally irritable and easy to anger. Idiotic things (the sound of food being chewed, etc.) were extremely irritating to me. Then, at the end of April, I had a really horribly depressed day out of nowhere, and my sleep started to fall apart. I would wake up every night at almost exactly the same time, around 5am, and I'd be extremely hot (night sweats). I also started experiencing serious pain in the back of my neck, which I attributed to sleeping funny and a fall I had while skiing several months prior. At this point I had made no connection between these symptoms and coming off the SSRI, as I had never heard of SSRI withdrawal syndrome. But something wasn't right, and even the zopiclone I was given for temporary help sleeping didn't prevent the 5am wake up. I started keeping a journal, charting my sleep, exercise, sleeping-pill intake and so on. My strong feeling was that I didn't have a "mental" problem (not depression, not anxiety), I had a hormone problem causing sleeplessness. My mind might race a bit, but my symptoms all felt more physical than emotional. I recall forcing myself to get exercise (short runs) and eat healthy (lots of smoothies, etc). At this point I googled something about irritability and SSRIs, and made my way to this site. Here I learned (from "Altostrata" - thanks) that my nervous system was likely hypersensitized, and the 5am wake-up was caused by an over-reaction to the hormone cortisol, which is naturally released around dawn to start the wake-up process. This made a lot of sense, and explained my situation perfectly. (Thank you again!) THE IMPORTANT PART FOR ME NOW: I experienced several "windows" (term used on this site and elsewhere to indicate a period of mostly clear, good days, in contrast with "waves" of heavy symptoms), but by the end of July I began to think I needed to go back on something. My goal, then and now, is quality of life, and if that meant I did indeed need some small quantity of drug, so be it. (Just MY point of view, not a judgement of anyone else!). I read on this site about the dangers of going back on at a "normal" dose, like the 5mg recommended by the doctor. My particular situation was at high risk for "kindling", since by this point I'd been off the citalopram for around 6 months, and citalopram has a short half-life. (All this learned from this site!). I tried a 5mg tablet cut in 4 (about 1.25mg), but on day two felt like I was freaking out. After a few days, I tried again, an 1/8th of a pill, smaller than a grain of rice. I ordered a scale to weigh the dose, as suggested. By the second day I was experiencing GREATLY REDUCED WD SYMPTOMS, and felt like I was out of the woods. I wanted to create an account and tell everybody about my success story, to help others. But by a few days later, things started going downhill again. Was that just a window? The hot flashes and brain zaps were gone, but a general lethargy combined somehow with nervousness persisted. I thought perhaps I had adapted to the miniscule dose, and went up to 1/4 tablet. To cut this long story a bit shorter, I slowly progressed over the course of a few weeks up to 1/2 a tablet. I felt I was in the extremely difficult situation (for which I'm seeking the community's help) - Is my situation caused by too much drug (kindling) or not enough?? How to distinguish WD symptoms and symptoms caused by going back on the drug? I saw my doctor, who feels that anything less than 5mg is just not going to help. She suggested taking 5mg and warned me that the first two weeks were likely going to be difficult, so I should take .25mg of xanax as well for the first two weeks. I've tried this for the last few days, and indeed they have been difficult. But I'm not convinced that they'll get better in two weeks! Now, seeing all this in black and white, I think likely I've increased my dosage too quickly, and I'll do better to go back down to maybe 1/4 tab. I'm just so disappointed that there doesn't seem to be an obvious right answer that makes me feel better more quickly! So many other sites say "SSRI withdrawal syndrome can be cured in a couple days by going back on the drug" - but this doesn't seem to be the case. I feel totally lost and unsure of how to proceed. I'm so exhausted by trying to figure this all out, I just want to get checked into some magic rehab hospital where they knock me out and I wake up four months later feeling fine. Looking back I can also see that my symptoms have shifted very much from "purely physical" (like hot flashes) to the emotional. I've had whole days lost in front of the TV, or, like this morning, terrified to get out of bed or check my email. The insomnia is AWFUL - after 4am I can neither wake up nor fall asleep. If I try to wake I'm exhausted, when I try to sleep I can only seem to get to the brink, when some sort of nervous reaction zaps me awake again. Feelings of total despair, a strong sense that there is no way out of this (I seem to be damned if I take the stuff or not), and recently, hints of some very dark thoughts indeed, as I cannot imagine having to face mornings like this one for the rest of my life! On the plus side, I do have a very loving wife who is very supportive and understanding. I'm totally ashamed of all this, of who I am right now, and would give anything, everything to simply go back to that day when I decided to go off. Things were fine, or as fine as can be expected for me. But regret gets one nowhere, and we all have to remember that there ARE good days ahead, somehow. CONCRETE QUESTIONS for anyone who is able to chip in: 1) On the one hand it seems pretty clearly I've tried to reinstate too fast. Likely best to go back down, but not to zero? Try to stay at 1.25mg for at least two weeks? 2) How does the Alprazolam (xanax) fit into this? I read something about how it helps temporarily, but then you can go into a "benzo hangover", which is worse? 3) Am I just bailing out of the full 5mg dose too soon? My doctor said it would be a hard two weeks, maybe I should just try to tough it out? She's lovely, but I don't think this sort of thing is her specialization. 4) Should I find a psychiatrist (even though where I live it will likely be a month or more before I can get in)? Or will they just start saying I'm bipolar and pumping me full of other things? Anyway this is getting pretty rambly now so I'll stop. Thanks to anybody who reads this and has any thoughts. Anyone else going through hard times right now, just keep hanging in there - the only thing that is sure is that things will change.
  11. so here i am building a public diary about my experience with sertraline. my intent is quite selfish i assure you - i seek catharsis - but with a little luck this introduction will evolve into a success story, and someone else who also struggles may be uplifted in the process. it helps to read about the experiences of others and I'm hoping it helps to talk about my own even more. i guess thats why we're all here, to talk. i just wish i could cuss here cuz its like half my vocabulary. anyway, after taking sertraline 50mg for seasonal affective disorder for three years with no adverse effects i figured i would quit. after a little research i did what amounted to a taper over the course of 6 weeks. i felt fine and had no side effects for two months after my last dose. i thought i had moved on, no biggie. about a week ago i had a panic attack seemingly out of nowhere. it basically didn't subside for three days and i was clueless as to what the problem was. i figured i had finally snapped. i was afraid to be home alone so most of the first 72 hrs were spent driving around aimlessly searching for meaningless tasks to keep me occupied and visiting friends on high alert at best, full blown panic at worst. i couldn't eat or sleep or think and my vision was screwy and my adrenaline pumped and my ears rang and my heart beat and my breathing was labored. confusion ruled and still i was determined to ride it out like a bad trip. through conversation with friends and internet research i realized i was experiencing withdrawal. it was something i hadn't considered and i was floored by the implications. after researching this site and the horrors contained within it i decided to reinstate sertraline at 25mg on 7-7-16, 3 days after withdrawal symptoms began in the hopes of stabilization and eventual slow taper. as of now it has been about 48 hrs since reinstatement of 25mg once daily in the morning. i realize it takes time for the drug to build and have an effect but i suspect there has already been some improvement. i haven't have a bad reaction and have had limited success with food and sleep so for now i hold and hope. ill hold forever if need be, i can be rather tenacious when properly motivated, even if this is the weakest i have ever felt. it has been and still is quite the roller coaster of fear but i am hopeful…ish. this forum has helped so much already and may prove to be my rock, my arm floaties in rough seas, and my fuzzie kitten for my nerves. thank you. stay tuned for the next freak out!
  12. Looking for some advice on what I should do with my Escitalopram (technically taking Escitalopram but Lexapro is easier to remember so I'm using that a lot here) dosage.. Made a lot of mistakes last week. Basically I'm a short-term Klonopin user (3 months total) who had a very rough time getting off of it. I had very extreme anxiety and burning sensations where I was basically limited to a couch. I was taking it as needed, and didn't realize I was putting myself through inter-dose withdrawals every few days. Doctor said it was my anxiety returning, and then I ended up on Lexapro because of that which made me take more Klonopin. Thankfully I found this forum else I would be in an even worse place with no hope. I tapered off the Klonopin roughly 1 month ago and I felt great for 3 weeks after. However, I'm pretty sure I've screwed up my withdrawal from Klonopin or my Lexapro taper or both. I'm hoping for a second opinion to guide me in what I should do next. Long story short I knew much better but I drank alcohol only 3 weeks after jumping off Klonopin and while fast-tapering Lexapro. I tried alcohol 1 night, thought I got away with it. And got excited to feel normal again and then drank a few more times over the week 1 or 2 drinks a night. Never felt bad the next day. Roll around to last Monday. I had a dentist visit for a cavity and received novocaine (or something like it, I don't know what they gave). A few hours after the novocaine I started getting some returning anxiety. I thought nothing of it, until the next morning I woke up feeling like I was going back into acute benzo withdrawal with extreme anxiety again. I've now been in this state for 5 days. At first I blamed myself for drinking and the novocaine, but now I've realized I've tried to taper my Lexapro too fast as well. I dropped from 9mg to basically 3mg in about a month. I know the 10% rule, I guess I just felt invisible since I was dropping fast and was a short-termer (1 month or so on 10mg when I started tapering) and seeing no withdrawal effects. My questions: 1) Is Lexapro withdrawal as anxiety intense as benzo withdrawal? Or do they feel the same? I have severe burning in my back / neck /arms and basically either sit in a ball, lay down, or have to pace the house. 2) Given that I definitely tapered Lexapro too fast, what amount of Lexapro should I updose to, to start over @ the 10% every month? If I should be updosing at all. Right now I have a pretty bad headache from going up today. I feel like I'm making all sorts of mistakes trying to fix this problem since the anxiety is pretty unbearable and unlike my previous withdrawal a few weeks ago it lasts all day with basically no windows. Any help is appreciated. I left my complete notes below. But if they need to be improved let me know. 5/24 - Started .5mg - 1 Klonopin as needed 7/20 - Started Lexapro 5mg (still on Klonopin) 7/27 - Lexapro 10mg 8/5 - Started tapering Klonopin stabilizing on a daily dose of .25mg 8/17 - Jumped at .065 (fast taper... but it seemed to work) 8/17 - Lexapro to 9mg (time to get rid of the next drug..) 8/29 - Lexapro to 6.5mg from 9mg (probably too fast but I had only been on Lexapro for a month so I felt like I could get away with it) 9/8-9/13 - Had alcohol all week sporadically (1 to 2 drinks) because I was feeling so much better. I tested with 1 drink, got away with it, and just kind of got excited.. ugh 9/13 - Lexapro was down to 2.78mg (so 8/29-9/13 6.5 to 2.78mg) way too fast I know. 9/14 - Had a dentist appointment, received probably Novocaine 9/14 - Had mild anxiety in the afternoon after Novocaine wore off 9/15 - Feels like I'm starting back into acute benzo withdrawal 9/16 - Definitely very back into acute something, feels like Benzo withdrawal with extreme feeling of anxiety and burning sensation on skin, doing laps around the house. 9/17 - Updosed Lexapro to 3.9mg 9/19 - Updosed Lexapro more to 4.46mg
  13. Hi I started a atypical antipsychotic drug abilify 10mg for anxiety and irritability for the first time 2 months ago. I had a adverse reaction to it and developed akathisia. So I stopped the ablify immediately, but still had lingering akathisia form the abilify, So I decided to self medicate with mirtazapine 30mg morning and night to help subside the symptoms. I continue to do this for one week. As far as I knew it was a sleeping pill that my psychiatrist pribscribed me months ago that I never bothered to take. He just said do you want something to help you sleep? Anyway once the akathisia went away, I stopped the mirtazapine the same time, and About one week later I developed severe withdrawals. I decided to ride out the withdrawals up until week 6 until I couldn't take no more. So I decided to reinstate. My question is..... is it to late to reinstate, what dosage should I start on, and how long does it take to stabilize? I dont bother asking my psychiatrist because he doesn't believe you get withdrawals.
  14. I tapered from effexor 150 mg over 12 days, 11 weeks ago. I experienced nearly every acute side effect eg. derealisation/depersonalisation, euphoria, vertigo, tremor, intrusive suicidal thoughts, akathisia, blurred vision, crushing pressure in head, pins and needles in forehead etc. 2 weeks ago I started to feel increasing numbness in my forehead and cognitive problems with working memory etc. consistent with chemical lobotomisation. As of 10 days or so ago I am experiencing nausea, extreme intermittent confusion, memory loss, sweating, restless legs, heart arrythmias and tachycardia. I'm very frightened and don't know whether reinstating at a low dose could make things worse although its difficult to see how things could get much worse at this point. I feel as though I'm in late stage dementia and I'm 35. I have no appetite and have lost 10% of my body weight over the last week, from 54 kg to 49 kg at 167 cm. Has anyone reinstated this late from a rapid taper and found it beneficial or did it make things worse? Please help me I'm absolutely desperate.
  15. Hello, I have been on paroxetine for 7 years,have tried many times to go off but unsuccessfully. Finally on 7 th year i lowered my dose from 20 mg to 10 mg. After panic attacked and insomnia appeared on my trip few months later I took 20 mg while I was on a trip and lowered it again on 10 mg.Due to some medical conditions that I suspected that are cause of paroxetine,I lowered the dose to 0 in maybe two months,way too fast. I was okeish for about two months ( I had all of the symptoms of wd but I fought with it ) and I compelety crushed this February . Tinitus and never ending insomnia are the worse. I started to Google and found all the posts about some neurological damage From this drug which made my anxiety worse. Doctor gave me lorazepam to sleep. My question is ,should I go back to 10 mg and taper more slowly? Am I in a risk of neurological damage From tapering too fast ? Is this tinitus permanent? How long wd simptoms approximately last ? I see I am in risk of developing tolerance to lorazepam since I have been using it two weeks for sleep. My doctor's don't know anything since one wants to put me on mirtazapine and other on Prozac. I am so worried and feeling alone in all this.
  16. I discovered about Cardiac Coherence one week ago and I thought it could be helpful. I started to reinstate Amitriptyline 25mg (30yrs use) 3 weeks ago after stopping cold turkey last October. My protocole now is 10mg am and 15mg night with some progress: 1st week-no sleep, 2nd week-slept 5 nights, 3rd week-slept 5 nights,4th week-slept Jan 11 only. No sleep since. So it could be Cardiac Coherence breathing which has excited my nervous system, yes? I’m 72 yrs old. Since last August, I lost all my bad eating habits, and lost weight, no more high blood pressure. So I thought I could stop Amitriptyline 25mg prescribed to me for insomnia in early 90’s. Few years ago, I took only 2/3 to sleep. I thought I could stop. I failed. Very bad side effects. Finally, I saw the light, and Amitriptyline reinstatement. And tonight, I stopped cardiac coherence breathing 3xday. I’ll update my progress. I've read some topics and will read more. I discover very needed new info every day. Thank you to all for contributing to this peer support forum.
  17. Hi there just wondering if you could advise me. I had taken Mirtazapine 15mg for 3 months. On gp advice I halved for two days and then stopped completely on 5th feb 22. Withdrawal symptoms started on the 8th - feeling unwell, tired, reduced appetite and diarrhoea. I currently have no appetite and have lost weight and diarrhoea and nausea - some anxiety but mostly about withdrawal and not being able to work! I have read lots on this site and see that it’s best to reinstate then taper. I currently only have 15mg tablets and am awaiting delivery of cutter and scales in a few days time. I could probably cut tabs into rough quarters now but tricky as they are oblong shaped and not sure if 3.75 would be right dose to reinstate with or should be lower. am going to try to obtain liquid but not sure when this might be possible. Worried about leaving it much longer. any advice greatly received, thank you
  18. i have been through so much in the past few months and it’s been scary. I was put back on lexapro after a while of not being on anything. I was on it for a few months and i decided that i did not want to take it anymore because i just did not feel like myself. After coming off it was the worst 3-4 weeks of my life super bad depression anxiety off the charts and just not good things were happening. My psychiatrist said i needed to go back on the lexapro plus a mood stabilizer because i’m apparently bi polar. After a few days back on the medication i was experiencing tingling in my arms and legs and it was major. I went to the hospital for them to not even do anything and told me it was just anxiety. I went to my doctor the next day who then told me to stop taking both the medications. Since then i was back to really bad depression and just an overall weird feeling . My memory has ben terrible my mind feels blank and it feels like i can’t think of anything. I can’t tell when i’m hungry or tired and i get floaters in my eyes. on top of that my body feels like it’s numb all over and i’m so scared and i don’t know what to do. On top of that i feel emotionally very numb to everything and very disconnected. If anyone has suggestions please help. I’m supposed to go get an mri very soon and an EEG.
  19. Hi all, I've been affected by depression since my teens. That also brought me sleep problems which I still have to this day. I started trying to fix this in 2006 with the help of a psychiatrist which was a wrong call since my body is, till now, addicted to psychiatric medication. I've been successfully tapering this meds for about 5 years now, my main problem is tapering Quetiapine. The benzos, antidepressants, etc were easy to taper compared to this drug. I was only on 5mg and doing well when I thought that I could start to do it on a quicker pace, since it was such a small dose. It appears that was a wrong move. After being almost 2 months with no medication whatsoever, I decided to reinstate since I was having problems with sleep that were affecting my general well being. I restarted at only 2mg but after a few days still with sleeping problems decided to up it to 5mg which is the dose I'm taking now. I was a few days without sleeping problems but this week has been terrible again. There's also the problem that I have some things in life that are stressing me out which certainly doesn't help with this, though I think that's not the main problem. I think the main problem is that I should have tapered more slowly when I was at 5mg. Any tips on what I should be doing next? I guess it's probably better if I wait a good while to see if my brain stabilizes on this dose (5mg)? Or should I up the dose a bit again to see if I can sleep better? Or do you have any other tip? The sleeping problems I'm having now are really affecting me. I'm also suffering a bit with depression issues again (sleeping problems are just making it worth).
  20. Hi everyone, I could really do with some support/advice. I started tapering prozac (20mg down to 2.4mg, 10% decreases every 6 weeks until June) in April 2020. Have been on and off it for 23 years; each attempt to come off in past was disastrous. I was pretty much fine until January and then started having serious neck pain. Right side of head, ear, occiput, between spine and shoulder blade, and radiating down right arm into ring and pinky finger. Over months has also affected right lower back and right hip. Have seen multiple chiropractors to no avail. I can see that my head is not sitting centere over my spine but is off to the right. Severe anxiety, depression and agitation really started kicking in in July. Went through a huge binge eating phase, and now total anorexia. No appetite at all and losing weight fast. CNS extremely sensitive to everything. Diarreoha every morning. What is terrifying and utterly destroying me is that for the last 8 nights I wake up at midnight after 2 or 3 hours of sleep with SEERING, BURNING, UNBEARBLE pain down right side of my body: ear, jaw, neck, shoulder, arm, fingers, lower back, waist, hip and into leg. I am in so much agony I cannot find any relief in any position. I am forced to get up and try to stretch what feels like the whole right side of my body collapsing or disintergrating. It goes on for hours until I fall into a light, restless sleep at around 3 or 4 until maybe 6. I had a contrast MRI of head and neck yesterday but results not out yet. Has anyone had this type of experience? Does it stop? Without sleep I don't know how long I will last. Would so appreciate some insight. Doing this alone in a foreign country....feeling at wits' end. Doctor trying to persuade me to go into a clinic but deathly afraid of letting go of some element of normality, eg, job, though barely managing that.
  21. Hello everyone, I’d like to start off by saying thank you. The people of this forum have inspired much hope and understanding in the ways of antidepressant medication. I am grateful. I’ve been on Zoloft since the spring of 2015. Things had been going wonderfully well. I felt like myself but disconnected/ unplugged just enough to cope far better. Better mood, alertness and mental focus were a nice change of pace. Around the end of May 2017 I’d been taking BCAAs for working out for around 2 months. One Sunday, after lifting weights and mowing the yard I took a nap and woke up feeling off. I had low blood sugar issues for about a day, I couldn’t handle warm temperatures, couldn’t sleep well, and suffered hot flashes for the next few days. For a while I though I was sick. I took an lorazepam one evening (3 days later) and an extra zoloft because of horrible anxiety. I countinued to take my now double dose with my doctor’s permission. The next 6 weeks were h*ll. I had no idea Zoloft could do such things since I had no negative effects when I started. I could write a novel (as I’m sure we all could) but I’ll try and hit the main points. About week 6 I stabilized. I hadn’t found this site yet so many mistakes were made. i only stayed at 100mg for a week or so before I jumped to 75mg (I felt too apathetic about things, needed to lower). By this point I realized it was the Zoloft causing my problems. The next few weeks were quite uncomfortable but things went really bad when working out on the 3rd week caused me to crash...hard!! I switched doctors as I couldn’t seem to get anywhere with my other one. My new P.A diagnosed me with serotonin syndrome (a short 3 day stint of trazadone while doubling my dose no doubt contributed, different doctor) she dropped me from 75mg to 25mg of Zoloft. I felt so much better and for the next two weeks got to the point of feeling amazing. Then week three came and some light cardio pushed me over the edge and I crashed again. I also noticed I would have horrible low blood sugar issues for a day or two after crashing. after a week of misery. I bumped my dose to 50mg (I found this site by then). I felt immediate improvement. I began to heal but also began feeing strong sensations of numbness/ pins and needles in my hands and feet, weakness also. I am currently 7 weeks at 50mg. I’ve been struggling with tight & weak calves / ankles since, sporadic internal tremors and fatigue. Had back spasms for a bit about a week ago but not since. I’ve begun to sleep better in the past few weeks (7 hours on a good night but not consistently). I typically wake up around 5-6 hours after falling asleep but I don’t NEED medicine to help me fall asleep anymore (a few months of needing it). I would rather keep this short but I want you all to know my history. I saw a psychiatrist tonight at the recommendation of my PA (she was surprised when my reinstatement actually helped, she was convinced I hadn’t dropped too low too fast. She is a wonderful PA and God worked through her, saved my life when I had serotonin syndrome.) The psychiatrist on the other hand... I have mixed feelings. I flat out refused any other medication. She believes my first incident was serotonin syndrome. Maybe so? BCCA actually inhibit triptophan uptake but then again my workout protein powder did have triptophan in it (I have quit taking all workout supplements months ago). The psychiatrist also thinks I’m suffering from serotonin syndrome now. (Currently weakness in legs, pins and needles in hands and feet, stiff feeling calves and maybe hands, hands and feet more susceptible to being cold) what do do you all think? Do I continue to continue to tough it out at 50mg? Is this a sign my body is too sensitized for this dose? (I was at 25mg for one month before reinstating to 50mg) I will work on my signature as soon as I figure out how to do it. Thank you for your time. I trust you all more than the medical “professionals”
  22. hello, I'm Brazilian, please ignore grammatical errors, because I'm using the translator. I need your help. I spent 3 years taking duloxetine 60mg and a few weeks ago I started to funnel the drug on my own. I removed the equivalent of 1mg a day from the capsule, I was doing well, but when I reached the equivalent of 25mg, I started to have severe withdrawal symptoms. I contacted my doctor and he ordered 50mg trazodone and stopped duloxetine altogether. That was when hell started, zaps, nausea, vomiting, shaking, pressure on the head among others. I spent 4 days without duloxetine, I couldn't continue and drank a 60mg capsule. After that 60mg capsule, I started taking 30mg a day, but I'm having bad symptoms, lots of gas, chest tightness, extreme anxiety. I think I did the reintegration with the wrong dosage. Please help me! I can't stand this shortness of breath, a lot of belching and extreme anxiety. What has helped me is aprazolan 0.5mg, but I don't want to be dependent on it.
  23. Hi I feel I am writing this too late as I have made many errors in my withdrawal from Mirtazapine and subsequent reinstatement but I only found this website and information recently. Perhaps you can still help me. In October, I tapered off from just under 1.5mg Mirt where i had been for several months following a slow taper from 7.5mg (18 months total time). The doctor told me this dose was too low to have therapeutic value but if I wanted to taper i should miss alternate nights, then 2 nights etc...and I should be off in a month. I did this but had insomnia on the missed nights but it seemed to settle. My sleep deteriorated though. In early December and exhausted, I was hosting a party and needed to sleep so I took a 1.5mg dose of Mirt for 2 nights only and slept. 6 days later, I had shocking vertigo and sickness and could barely move. Luckily, this passed in a few hours but it alarmed me and I vowed to stay away from Mirt. My sleep was deteriorating again and exactly 2 weeks later it went completely. Christmas was awful. I didn't really know what the problem was tbh but I didn't want to take any Mirt so I used Phenergan to sleep. After about a week, the Phenergan stopped working and without it I could not sleep at all so I reinstated Mirtazapine. The low dose worked and then didn't work so a week later I increased it to 7.5mg. I know now this was too large an increase but I was desperate. I saw a big improvement but it was still erratic so a week later I tried 10.5mg for 2 nights. This didn't make much difference so I went back to 7.5mg. By now, I had found this website and learned about waves and windows etc.. That next week, things improved but I had a couple of bad nights around day 4, which I thought was the dose change causing problems. Then the next few nights improved again, but last night and the night before I had about an hour and am feeling dreadful. I suppose my questions now would be: does this seem like windows/waves? Or could I have 'kindled'? I dont know much about this or when it would happen but what would I do if it is? I presume I stay at 7.5mg now? I presume it's too late and unwise to reduce this dose? This is a truly awful experience and I'm hoping to stabilise and taper slowly again. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I know I have probably done everything I'm not meant to do and I'm really paying for it. I wish I had never taken this drug and don't think I should have been prescribed it in the first place but that's another story.
  24. Hello. I am from India. Pls ignore spelling mistake if any. I am on anti depressants for the last 17 years. 2004 to 2011 on prozac. Then Zoloft from 2011 till.date. last year 2020 I stopped Zoloft cold turkey due to numbness. After 1 month severe withdraw symptoms. I thought I am going to die. I reinstated .got somewhat relief. Then I found this wonderful site. I read sucess stories.so decided to taper. Currently on 2mg of Zoloft for the last 2months. But having withdrawal effects. Always having feeling of death.24hour this fear. Is anyone having this thought. While I walk it looks I am going to pass out or having a heart attack. I am a disabled person having polio in childhood. Should I withdraw or not.pls help and guide me. Thanks
  25. Hi there I’m new here , I’ve been taking 20mg fluoxetine fir the past 3 years and not knowing any of the stuff I’ve been reading here I’ve done everything wrong trying to give up and put myself in full blown withdrawal. Desperate anxiety hopelessness catastrophising etc - I’ve reinstating my 20mg dose and am as bad but possibly lessening slightly . i had no idea about any of the tapering protocols or how bad it could be until I found you guys - I feel like I’m living a horror show where I’ll never be the same again. In my ignorance I’ve made every mistake in the book including cutting down by skipping doses . now I’ve been reading stuff here I’m actually beginning to understand what I should have done and why I’m so ill - I’m going to try and reinstate / restabilisr and then wait before I taper down . can anyone advice me should I try a lower dose of my fluoxetine as my reinstated full dose has made me so ill ? I’d stopped for 3 weeks before full blown withdrawal and then fir the last 3 days I reinstated 1 tablet per day 20mg thank you
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