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  1. Hi all, I'm glad to have finally found a place that provides an explanation for everything I have been going through. Anway, let's get to it I guess. I first started taking antidepressants when I was 17 years old (2010) due to a development of Panic Disorder which I now know was caused by trauma as a child from various things, my mother dying being the main reason I suspect, she was also a drug addict so I grew up around a lot things a child shouldn't, I also had no father present. As long as I can remember I have also suffered from OCD, I obviously wasn't aware what it was as a child but the characteristics were there. I originally was started of on Zoloft for a couple of months but it had no effect, moved onto Citalopram, again didn't work. Finally I found my golden ticket, Lexapro. It provided me with the much needed relief I was seeking from my panic and compulsions/rumination. It worked great. At the beginning I don't really remember suffering many side effects except for dampened emotions and a slightly decreased libido. Since beginning on Lexapro I was on and off it a lot to be honest and from memory never experienced much difficulty withdrawing, nothing acute anyway although I did always get some brain zaps, thinking back now I always welcomed the return of a natural emotional range, It was like I could breathe again. I have not been on it full time since I started and the longest I spent off it was 2.5 - 3 years and was seemingly doing okay. I went back on medication when I went overseas at the beginning of 2018 as travelling seemed to heighten my pre-existing mental health issues, again, it worked a treat. OCD and rumination out the window! I had a bit of dramatic year in 2018 and was out partying a lot to ease the pain and by the end of the year I decided I wanted to make real change, tackle my demons head on, come off meds, get super healthy and focus hard on my acting. This is when my hell started. The first two months of 2019 were great, I was running every second day, I had started a course at uni and I was sober and enjoying it! By May my rumination and OCD skyrocketed, existential dread, a loss of purpose and hope, you name it. I was plagued by what I can only describe as feelings of tension all throughout my guts and inner body. My torso just became ( and still is ) so tight and stiff, lots of pain in my back, neck and shoulders, restricted movement, it's by far my most uncomfortable symptom, especially my diaphragm. I now know this is due to my nervous system taking such a hit by being exposed to such change so quickly but Its left me confused as I have always fast tapered and never experienced anything like this. I went back to my doctor assuming that I needed to go back on medication, my theory was the combination of quitting substance abuse and medication had opened the floodgates to a lot of pent up unresolved trauma and overloaded my system ( I will also add from 17-21 I pretty much did 0 drugs and 21 onwards dabbled very rarely) truth is, I had every intention of feeling my emotions properly and still do but something was different this time round. I have been in physical hell for over a year now, stiff, sore, restless, you name it. I started back on Lexapro around June - July last year but I found it didn't do too much. My new psych had me try Fluoxetine for a bit but it didnt do anything at all. By the end of the year I started to come off it again and truth be told, the lower I got in dosage, the better I was feeling. I might also mention that for the majority of 2018 I was at a dose of 10mg, nothing too high. In the past when I was younger I had gone up to 20-25 but haven't been on that high of a dose consistently for a long time. I did go back up to 20 briefly last year after reinstating as I was desperate and thought the more the better but it didnt change anything. I have now been off Lexapro again for around 6 weeks, I have definitely experienced what I now know as waves and windows, I'm a pretty intuitive person and I can tell you that my mind and body scream at the idea of ingesting that drug again. I only found this website last week so I have only just found out about reinstatement and all of the things that are discussed here. Reinstatement at a low dose has crossed my mind as an option so I can begin a slower taper down the track and stabilize my symptoms however based on the fact that I stopped and started again last year without too much alleviation from the negative symptoms I feel as though I should just keep going, as tough as it is. My psychological symptoms have largely improved, I have had a slight decrease in the general tension I have talked about which is good. I also have moments where I feel real emotion which I actually like, sure it feels like I may cry sometimes (although I never really truely do) but thats all i have ever wanted for a long time, to let go off all this weight I have carried from my trauma. Anyway I thought I would get some opinions from you guys as to whether I should try reinstating or just keep fighting the good fight. I don't know if I am extremely resilient or if my symptoms are bad but not AS bad as other peoples but I have somehow managed to hold down a job, try my best at exercise, stay sober for 90 percent of the last year and work hard towards my goals. Its been so so uncomfortable, but I'm a battler and i fear if I stop I won't start again. I wonder if the worst is over? I mean I reinstated for 5 months and have honestly noticed more positive changes since stopping the medication all together once more. I am thankful for my positive mindset, at the moment I am not feeling suicidal which I was for a time, I want to be alive, I meditate a lot, write a gratitude list every day and do what I can to keep moving forward. I really really don't want to take meds again but I understand it may help... I will mention again that I have ALWAYS fast tapered under the advice of my old Psych and never had this happen before, why now? Anway, some direction may help, I'm thinking about sticking it out, im certainly not feeling comfortable but currently doing all I can besides actually taking the tablets themselves. At this point the physical is more unbearable than the mental but im pushing forward, any insight would be much appreciated. Thanks guys.
  2. Firstly, I am very grateful for this site and support network. I have gone through a hellish experience with withdrawal, and I am grateful that you all can directly relate and provide me with some guidance. I was put on 10 mg Amitriptyline for 3 months for post-concussive headaches and insomnia due to multiple concussions. I tolerated this dose well with some dry mouth at night and grogginess in the morning, which reduced after the first month. (Prior to this I had tried 25 mg Amitrip for 1 day and it was way too high a dose for me; I was bouncing off the walls and had a raging appetite.) After 3 months I decided to taper down, with the approval of my neurologist. But I was not given much guidance at all (he suggested taking the 10 mg every other day which did not work for me). I had some knowledge of antidepressant withdrawal so I knew to take things slowly. I just didn't know how slowly I would need. I first tapered to 5 mg (using a pill splitter) for 1 month and then 2.5 mg for several weeks... but promptly began experiencing major withdrawal symptoms. I had 10/10 level headache that sent me to the ER, as well as high levels of fear, panic, and anxiety which are completely abnormal for me. Disturbing and violent thoughts would also come, unbidden. Correlated to this was also diarrhea, rapid heart rate, and trouble urinating. When I was on 5 mg, I also had an episode where my brain felt extremely cold, and since then I have had to wear multiple hats throughout the day and in order to sleep. The cold-head issue has improved and declined as my other symptoms did. (Has anyone seen this issue before?) All this has been much more difficult than the original issues I was having. The drug has caused so many more problems than it supposedly solved. After connecting this to withdrawal, I went back up to 10 mg on the suggestion of a new neurologist who thankfully understood this as withdrawal and has guided patients with this in the past. Unfortunately I did not read the warnings on this site about reinstating before all this. I have now been back on 10 mg for over 4 weeks. For the first two weeks things were steadily improving each day: I had very vivid, movie-like dreams; the anxiety and fear dissipated; the headaches reduced. But in the past two weeks, my progress seems to have stalled and somewhat declined. I am again experiencing rapid heart rate and "brain zap" headache as well as digestive issues, but the emotional symptoms are not as pronounced. I don't know if this is a window/wave phenomenon, or a poopout? It either feels like A.) the drug is no longer working for me, B.) my brain is requiring higher levels of the drug, or C.) the brain is adjusting its levels of neurotransmitters. The new neurologist has suggested either upping the dose to 12.5 mg or switching to Nortriptyline as it is the metabolite of Amitriptyline. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I believe my options are: 1) Stay on 10 mg Amitrip and ride it out to see if this is a window/wave. 3) Increase to 12.5 mg Amitrip to see if things improve. 2) Switch to Nortrip to see if things improve. Should I be worried that I reinstated all the way back to 10 mg? Since I don't wish to lower it at this point, what can I do to feel stabilized?
  3. hi,all been on &off antidepressants for 20 yrs but never felt this crummy.since stopping Paroxetine have had flu-like symptoms ,then fatigue loss of appetite,taste changes,eye problems(excessive blinking actually started while on it,that's why I quit).depression,anxiety,just miserable,wondering if I should reinstate or just try & hang in there.I was on it about 6 mos.stopped May 4 after about 7 wk taper.thanks for any suggestions
  4. Hello, I was prescribed 10 mg Cipralex for 6 months due to anxiety I started having last summer. I did the 6 months and went down to 5 mg for another month and stopped( now that I read some of the posts here I realize that I discontinued the medication too soon and fast). Now 2 months later I’m very foggy , depressed, have mood swings and some nausea, short term memory is not good either. My doctor wants me to go back on the pils for 2 more years which I really don’t want to do. Can someone more experienced give their opinion on what to expect ? Should I reinstate or just wait for the WD symptoms to subside over time? Many thanks to all!
  5. Hi I feel I am writing this too late as I have made many errors in my withdrawal from Mirtazapine and subsequent reinstatement but I only found this website and information recently. Perhaps you can still help me. In October, I tapered off from just under 1.5mg Mirt where i had been for several months following a slow taper from 7.5mg (18 months total time). The doctor told me this dose was too low to have therapeutic value but if I wanted to taper i should miss alternate nights, then 2 nights etc...and I should be off in a month. I did this but had insomnia on the missed nights but it seemed to settle. My sleep deteriorated though. In early December and exhausted, I was hosting a party and needed to sleep so I took a 1.5mg dose of Mirt for 2 nights only and slept. 6 days later, I had shocking vertigo and sickness and could barely move. Luckily, this passed in a few hours but it alarmed me and I vowed to stay away from Mirt. My sleep was deteriorating again and exactly 2 weeks later it went completely. Christmas was awful. I didn't really know what the problem was tbh but I didn't want to take any Mirt so I used Phenergan to sleep. After about a week, the Phenergan stopped working and without it I could not sleep at all so I reinstated Mirtazapine. The low dose worked and then didn't work so a week later I increased it to 7.5mg. I know now this was too large an increase but I was desperate. I saw a big improvement but it was still erratic so a week later I tried 10.5mg for 2 nights. This didn't make much difference so I went back to 7.5mg. By now, I had found this website and learned about waves and windows etc.. That next week, things improved but I had a couple of bad nights around day 4, which I thought was the dose change causing problems. Then the next few nights improved again, but last night and the night before I had about an hour and am feeling dreadful. I suppose my questions now would be: does this seem like windows/waves? Or could I have 'kindled'? I dont know much about this or when it would happen but what would I do if it is? I presume I stay at 7.5mg now? I presume it's too late and unwise to reduce this dose? This is a truly awful experience and I'm hoping to stabilise and taper slowly again. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I know I have probably done everything I'm not meant to do and I'm really paying for it. I wish I had never taken this drug and don't think I should have been prescribed it in the first place but that's another story.
  6. David182

    David182: hello all

    Hello everyone, I’d like to start off by saying thank you. The people of this forum have inspired much hope and understanding in the ways of antidepressant medication. I am grateful. I’ve been on Zoloft since the spring of 2015. Things had been going wonderfully well. I felt like myself but disconnected/ unplugged just enough to cope far better. Better mood, alertness and mental focus were a nice change of pace. Around the end of May 2017 I’d been taking BCAAs for working out for around 2 months. One Sunday, after lifting weights and mowing the yard I took a nap and woke up feeling off. I had low blood sugar issues for about a day, I couldn’t handle warm temperatures, couldn’t sleep well, and suffered hot flashes for the next few days. For a while I though I was sick. I took an lorazepam one evening (3 days later) and an extra zoloft because of horrible anxiety. I countinued to take my now double dose with my doctor’s permission. The next 6 weeks were h*ll. I had no idea Zoloft could do such things since I had no negative effects when I started. I could write a novel (as I’m sure we all could) but I’ll try and hit the main points. About week 6 I stabilized. I hadn’t found this site yet so many mistakes were made. i only stayed at 100mg for a week or so before I jumped to 75mg (I felt too apathetic about things, needed to lower). By this point I realized it was the Zoloft causing my problems. The next few weeks were quite uncomfortable but things went really bad when working out on the 3rd week caused me to crash...hard!! I switched doctors as I couldn’t seem to get anywhere with my other one. My new P.A diagnosed me with serotonin syndrome (a short 3 day stint of trazadone while doubling my dose no doubt contributed, different doctor) she dropped me from 75mg to 25mg of Zoloft. I felt so much better and for the next two weeks got to the point of feeling amazing. Then week three came and some light cardio pushed me over the edge and I crashed again. I also noticed I would have horrible low blood sugar issues for a day or two after crashing. after a week of misery. I bumped my dose to 50mg (I found this site by then). I felt immediate improvement. I began to heal but also began feeing strong sensations of numbness/ pins and needles in my hands and feet, weakness also. I am currently 7 weeks at 50mg. I’ve been struggling with tight & weak calves / ankles since, sporadic internal tremors and fatigue. Had back spasms for a bit about a week ago but not since. I’ve begun to sleep better in the past few weeks (7 hours on a good night but not consistently). I typically wake up around 5-6 hours after falling asleep but I don’t NEED medicine to help me fall asleep anymore (a few months of needing it). I would rather keep this short but I want you all to know my history. I saw a psychiatrist tonight at the recommendation of my PA (she was surprised when my reinstatement actually helped, she was convinced I hadn’t dropped too low too fast. She is a wonderful PA and God worked through her, saved my life when I had serotonin syndrome.) The psychiatrist on the other hand... I have mixed feelings. I flat out refused any other medication. She believes my first incident was serotonin syndrome. Maybe so? BCCA actually inhibit triptophan uptake but then again my workout protein powder did have triptophan in it (I have quit taking all workout supplements months ago). The psychiatrist also thinks I’m suffering from serotonin syndrome now. (Currently weakness in legs, pins and needles in hands and feet, stiff feeling calves and maybe hands, hands and feet more susceptible to being cold) what do do you all think? Do I continue to continue to tough it out at 50mg? Is this a sign my body is too sensitized for this dose? (I was at 25mg for one month before reinstating to 50mg) I will work on my signature as soon as I figure out how to do it. Thank you for your time. I trust you all more than the medical “professionals”
  7. TonyW Short version of my history - please do let me know if you'd like to hear more details: After 10 years on 25mg Paxil CR to treat social anxiety/anxiety/mild depression I decided it was time to quit. Quit cold turkey and 40 days later (and after going through increased heartbeat, sleep misadjustment, and brain zaps, all of which are not a problem anymore), I feel really good overall but severe tinnitus kicked in and it's killing me. After reading a lot here (thank you so much for existing), I decided to reinstate starting tomorrow (thinking of starting with 1/4 of 25mg or less depending on feedback in this thread) and go from there. I will log my progress here, hopefully it will help people in a similar situation in the future. Thanks for reading!
  8. Hello, I have been on paroxetine for 7 years,have tried many times to go off but unsuccessfully. Finally on 7 th year i lowered my dose from 20 mg to 10 mg. After panic attacked and insomnia appeared on my trip few months later I took 20 mg while I was on a trip and lowered it again on 10 mg.Due to some medical conditions that I suspected that are cause of paroxetine,I lowered the dose to 0 in maybe two months,way too fast. I was okeish for about two months ( I had all of the symptoms of wd but I fought with it ) and I compelety crushed this February . Tinitus and never ending insomnia are the worse. I started to Google and found all the posts about some neurological damage From this drug which made my anxiety worse. Doctor gave me lorazepam to sleep. My question is ,should I go back to 10 mg and taper more slowly? Am I in a risk of neurological damage From tapering too fast ? Is this tinitus permanent? How long wd simptoms approximately last ? I see I am in risk of developing tolerance to lorazepam since I have been using it two weeks for sleep. My doctor's don't know anything since one wants to put me on mirtazapine and other on Prozac. I am so worried and feeling alone in all this.
  9. Hi I withdraw Lexapro for 1 year completely facing unbearable withdrawals and again started for 6 months slowly tapered to 5 and was on 2.5 for 1 year and again quit for 5 months .. crashed very badly again and now reinstated 5 mg for 1 month .. when will my symptoms improve .. and is there anyone who really quit this hell and leading their life again .. PKEASE PKEASE OKEASE HELP ME
  10. 10 years of antidepressants. Four months of recent hell and counting from trying to get off of them. Lets save some time and say about five months ago I decided to get off my antidepressant (escatalopram). Went from 20 mg, two weeks later 10 mg, two weeks lather 5 mg, two weeks later 0 mg then a hellish destabilization occurred. I managed about 1 month off then I decided to restart on 5 mg which I have been on for about two months until now 9/5/2016. Not doing much better from reinstating the drug but leagues better then the depths of cold turkey. Looking for advice. Should I go up a dose? I really don't want to but its starting to affect my work and I have a very promisinbg career coming up if I can keep my head on straight. If I just stay on this dose would I feel better in time? should I stick with it? And how when I know when I should reduce my dosage again? Anyway these questions i am hoping to get help with because this place is the only place where people even remotely know what they are talking about with regards to these topics.
  11. Ugh5000 Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this site. Any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated. I hope today is a better day for all of you. I have been taking SSRIs for about 18 years for OCD. The main drugs I have taken in order are Celexa, Lexapro, and Prozac. I recently came off of Prozac under a Psychiatrist's guidance. I have been off of Prozac for 5 weeks and 2 days. The withdrawal has been absolutely miserable. I have experienced extreme rage, irritability, brain fog, dizziness, crawling skin, violent thoughts and insomnia. The worst side effects being anger and insomnia. The anger leads to me lashing out and often breaking things or punching myself in the face repeatedly. The insomnia has made coping with all of this even more challenging as I can only seem to sleep about 3 or 4 hrs in the morning before my son and wife wake up. This is the taper I did with my doctor (he assured me this was appropriate and that Prozac was the easiest SSRI to quit): 60mg daily was my prescription for the past year. For the first month I was advised to take 40mg. The second month 20mg... And then done. Drug free. Yea! This obviously is not the case. So, after now being off for 5 weeks and two days. Should I continue to tough it out. Or should I take a few steps back and start a lower dosage with a slower taper? I'm not sure what to do. I'm barely functioning now. If I knew I only had another week or so I would tough it out...but I'm afraid this could go on for a long time. Which would make me a pretty horrible husband, father, human being. Any help is much appreciated. Thank you.
  12. Hi folks! I'm very grateful for the resources you've offered. It helps me feel less alone as I struggle through this. I'm a 39yo male. I've been on SSRIs (paxil first and then citalopram) for 18 years. I've tried going off citalopram (10mg) several times, and ended up going back on each time because the withdrawal symptoms were so excruciating (extreme insomnia, panic, rage, fear, mania, confusion, etc.). I'd always tried to go off basically cold-turkey, but this past time I took a few weeks to taper down from 10mg, before completely stopping 1 month ago. (I would've gone much slower if I'd come across this site earlier.) Things have been tenuous; last night was my worst night so far—I came very close to going back on the citalopram because I was in such anguish. At this moment, I'm unclear as to whether to re-start the citalopram and then taper down very slowly, or to try to ride this out and see if I can handle it. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. I take magnesium regularly and find it very helpful. And I just ordered some Omega-3's. Thanks again for any insights!
  13. Hi everyone, I'm Justin. Until last year, I'd been taking lexapro 20mg for about 6 years for GAD and depression. I've been working with a therapist for 2 years, and decided to stop the medication about 7 months ago to better confront some deep feelings fueling my depression and anxiety. I've been trying to be positive, to focus on the progress (and there is progress), but the last 7 months have also been hell. I developed night sweats, regular (almost daily) headaches, poor sleep, nausea, lack of appetite (very unusual for me, I love food), difficulty concentrating and focusing, and some days the sense of "doom" anxiety has been so bad I can only barely function. A week ago, after 2 days in a row calling out of work (I work from home) because I couldn't concentrate due to anxiety, I started to get desperate. I took 10mg lexapro before I went to bed. The next morning I woke up to a very different world. It was significantly easier to get up and out of bed. I could focus. I was productive. I got a lot of work done. The anxiety flutter in my stomach was almost gone. I wasn't overreacting to things. My appetite came back. The speed of that change made my therapist think about ADS and recommend this website, and I'm so glad she did. I was getting really despondent thinking that I just wasn't working hard enough, or that I'm going to have to struggle to function on a daily basis for the rest of my life. After reading the intro posts here, I started keeping a journal and am trying a much slower taper with the lexapro I have remaining. Here's hoping I can find a balance. Really glad to be with you all, -Justin
  14. 8/28/2019 I was put on 1.25mg Zyprexa for mild insomnia. I should’ve done my research!!!! 4 months later I start wondering about this drug and stop cold turkey for 14 days of pure hell. Day 14 I take a small amount of Zyprexa, it helps alleviate some of the god awful withdrawals, now almost 2 weeks after my reinstatement of the 1.25 mg I’m having moments of feeling better then moments of feeling awful again. Sleeping again, didn’t sleep for most of the 14 days I quit. I just don’t know what to do now. Do I stay on this amount and hope I return to my baseline prior to stopping CT? How long do I stay at this dose ? I WANT OFF THIS CRAP BAD! Each day I’m on it is another day I’m not tapering. I’m so lost and confused and this drug is making it worse. I can’t believe my GP put me on this! I had asked her for a healthier option to benedryl!!! And this is what she puts me on. Am I doomed forever ? I hear nothing good about coming off Zyprexa. I need help!
  15. Rcat Hey , new to the group. visited Mayo Clinic for my executive physical May of 2019. My Dad passed away a few months before this, and I was having trouble sleeping as I grieved . So was perscribed 15 mgs Mirtazapine May 2019. Slept great while on it but as I progressed I started to gain weight and felt disconnected, agitated..... fighting with spouse..etc. so , I started to taper Jan 2020, Breaking the pills down by about 10% each week until done in mid-March. Been off since then.... been struggling . Everything seems overwhelming. Sleep sucks. Normal stuff that I handle with no problem seem like huge problems now. Been back to Mayo Clinic (where I was prescribed the Mert), thinking im dying..... All seemed to check out ok. Been off completely now for 8 weeks. So, 9 months on 15mgs, 10 wk taper and 8 weeks off completely. Think I tapered too quick? Thanks,
  16. Lc79 Hi everyone! I had been on setraline 100mg for 8 months. I was feeling pretty good so decided to taper off this is what I did: 75 mg two weeks 50 mg two weeks 35 mg 1 week 15 mg 1 week Then off for past 8 days... Each drop down I got two days of irritability but then felt ok . I have been off completely for 8 days , next day felt exhausted, with rage that flairs up from nowhere. Have had to have daily naps, frequent brain zaps when I look around, weird heart beat when I look side to side and more ringing in my ears. I felt really good two days ago, but last two days really low, exhausted and generally being a horrible person to be around! I guess I tapered to fast. I really don't want to go back on, but reading here I should consider reinstating and 10% taper? But my question is what dose should I go back on? Thanks so much for any ideas/guidance?
  17. I discovered about Cardiac Coherence one week ago and I thought it could be helpful. I started to reinstate Amitriptyline 25mg (30yrs use) 3 weeks ago after stopping cold turkey last October. My protocole now is 10mg am and 15mg night with some progress: 1st week-no sleep, 2nd week-slept 5 nights, 3rd week-slept 5 nights,4th week-slept Jan 11 only. No sleep since. So it could be Cardiac Coherence breathing which has excited my nervous system, yes? I’m 72 yrs old. Since last August, I lost all my bad eating habits, and lost weight, no more high blood pressure. So I thought I could stop Amitriptyline 25mg prescribed to me for insomnia in early 90’s. Few years ago, I took only 2/3 to sleep. I thought I could stop. I failed. Very bad side effects. Finally, I saw the light, and Amitriptyline reinstatement. And tonight, I stopped cardiac coherence breathing 3xday. I’ll update my progress. I've read some topics and will read more. I discover very needed new info every day. Thank you to all for contributing to this peer support forum.
  18. Lzieb

    Lzieb: Zoloft 25mg 6 days

    I took Zoloft for 6 days at 25mg. Been off 21 days today. I have had mild to severe symptoms but I don't want to go through months or years of this if there is a better/smarter way. The last three days have been really hard for me and so I want to at least try reinstatement of fluxotine at a smaller dose. I need help. I have 10mg of fluxotine and I figured I can do a switch from Zoloft to fluxotine. I need help to know how to do this. Will this help if I had an adverse reaction to Zoloft? I read that if I take a small enough dose I will know if it will be effective. I'd like help and thoughts. If it's an adverse reaction that I did have, will reinstatement of another drug help? Thx
  19. Hello to all of you! I just discovered this forum and I think it's best for me to ask you for advice, since most doctors here in germany don't have a clue about ssri withdrawal.. So I'm trying to keep it short. I was prescribed 20mg of escitalopram (=40mg citalopram) in september 2017 after having severe depression, caused by withdrawal from benzos (lorazepam) which I'm off for 16 months now. The ssri helped me a lot and thankfully my depression went away and never came back. I tried to get off the ssri in april this year and tapered waaaay too fast. Took 10mg for a week, then 5 for a week and then zero. The withdrawal symptoms were severe but i could stand them. But after 3 months I got some heavy muscle pain and numbness in my forearms and felt so fatigue i couldn't get out of bed anymore. That led me to reinstating the drug at 6mg at first. I didn't feel much better, so i updosed to 10mg 10 days later. The first 5 days or so i felt pretty well, but after that I felt much worse and I'm feeling worse every day since then. I'm suffering severe anhedonia, brain fog, anxiety and a bit of fatigue. At least the muscle weakness is gone. Honestly I don't really know what to do next. Updosing to 10mg was about 12 days ago and i wonder if I should go back to a lower dose like 5mg or should just wait and hope to get better. Hope some of you can help me Much greetings, Gaebbi
  20. Hello guys! ive been on celexa for a year or 2, 20mg, for general anxiety, nothing crazy, mainly some little phobia that i could get under control. never had any side effects on it. i was always taking it on and off a 30 days tube could last me 2 months sometime and i felt fine,. ive recently moved country, and decided to drop my celexa cold turkey. i dont know why , i didnt know it was bad tbh i was just a stupid clueless dude i just had completely forgotten this was a bad thing that no one should do, im learning from my biggest mistake.. Fast forward to 3 months now, 2 first months were totally fine no worry didnt even think about it. 3 months everything went downhill, became cripple with anxiety. i went on a anxiety week with 3 days of no sleep (so this all started when i was med free) talked to my gp to go back on the meds.i started celexa again 10mg 2 weeks then 20mg for 3 weeks. i had some good days on week 3. like feeling totally normal and barely anxious now on week 5 but then the last 2 weeks have been bad, constant anxiety 24/7, like im in a stress of panic stomach knot mostly all the time from stress, also insomnia , like sometime go 2-3 days without sleep at all till my body get too tired, abandon the stress and let me somewhat sleep. im now mainly scare and anxious of sleep, nightime because of all of those. think about it back in my mind all the time, and i have thoughts about never healing etc all the time. ive been doing my best and excercices even when sleepless, doing stuff i like, i have an amazing partner, but it is very hard to focus on the present moment. now it has put my life on hold for now as this is too much to deal with, im a freelance tattoo artist so i can just take a break anyway. anyway, i know this is all my fault but my biggest wonder is; am i going through withdrawals effects or celexa side effects hitting me hard this time? or both at the same time? like i said, i had some good days, early 3 weeks with no worry and good sleep. bright note; im seeing a psychotherapist now and that feel good. NOW do i stay on celexa? or do i taper down to nothing again. i dont know what my brain is trying to tell me.
  21. My story begins in 2006. I was having migraines & nerve pain. I went to a headache clinic & was given Effexor. I was desperate for relief and so started a prescription of 225 mg/ day. I continued to take it for several years as I didn’t want the pain to return. One day, I came across an article that told of the writers difficult experience coming off Effexor. I researched online & found out how hard this med was to stop & of course, was very upset by this info. Several times I asked my dr if I could stop, but the taper protocol was always a three week stop and based on what I read, I was afraid to attempt it. I stopped going to the clinic but continued to get refills from my pcp. I decided I needed to reduce and end my use of this med, and so in September 2015 I successfully tapered to 75 mg without any problems. Jan 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, so I stayed on 75 mg until treatment finished. In September 2017 I reduced to 37.5 with no trouble. In September 2018, I opened the pills and further reduced to 18.75 for one year. This past September I dropped to 9.375. In January of this year , I thought, I’ve done it. I’m off this drug & stopped it. Two weeks ago I began having terrible anxiety & obsessive thoughts, feelings that I haven’t had for years. After researching I realized I came off too quickly. All that work & I screwed up. The anxiety became too much & from the info on this site I decided to reinstate this weekend. I even screwed that dosage up initially, but fixed it. I’m hoping this will help. I just want to say I’m terrified. I’m 62 years old. Is this my next few years? My daughter is getting married in October & I want to be there for her. What bad timing! I keep beating myself up for being so close & then just doing it wrong. I feel so defeated & frightened. I don’t even know why I took this drug for 14 years. Maybe I should have just kept taking it to avoid withdrawal. Maybe I should stay off the internet.
  22. so here i am building a public diary about my experience with sertraline. my intent is quite selfish i assure you - i seek catharsis - but with a little luck this introduction will evolve into a success story, and someone else who also struggles may be uplifted in the process. it helps to read about the experiences of others and I'm hoping it helps to talk about my own even more. i guess thats why we're all here, to talk. i just wish i could cuss here cuz its like half my vocabulary. anyway, after taking sertraline 50mg for seasonal affective disorder for three years with no adverse effects i figured i would quit. after a little research i did what amounted to a taper over the course of 6 weeks. i felt fine and had no side effects for two months after my last dose. i thought i had moved on, no biggie. about a week ago i had a panic attack seemingly out of nowhere. it basically didn't subside for three days and i was clueless as to what the problem was. i figured i had finally snapped. i was afraid to be home alone so most of the first 72 hrs were spent driving around aimlessly searching for meaningless tasks to keep me occupied and visiting friends on high alert at best, full blown panic at worst. i couldn't eat or sleep or think and my vision was screwy and my adrenaline pumped and my ears rang and my heart beat and my breathing was labored. confusion ruled and still i was determined to ride it out like a bad trip. through conversation with friends and internet research i realized i was experiencing withdrawal. it was something i hadn't considered and i was floored by the implications. after researching this site and the horrors contained within it i decided to reinstate sertraline at 25mg on 7-7-16, 3 days after withdrawal symptoms began in the hopes of stabilization and eventual slow taper. as of now it has been about 48 hrs since reinstatement of 25mg once daily in the morning. i realize it takes time for the drug to build and have an effect but i suspect there has already been some improvement. i haven't have a bad reaction and have had limited success with food and sleep so for now i hold and hope. ill hold forever if need be, i can be rather tenacious when properly motivated, even if this is the weakest i have ever felt. it has been and still is quite the roller coaster of fear but i am hopeful…ish. this forum has helped so much already and may prove to be my rock, my arm floaties in rough seas, and my fuzzie kitten for my nerves. thank you. stay tuned for the next freak out!
  23. Hi! I have been going through withdrawal for 14 months now, after my doctor told me to simply stop taking Effexor after being at 37.5mg for 3 months. All hell broke loose and that was when I found out there is a thing called Withdrawal from anti-depressants. Through the painful weeks that followed I ended up on Prozac, as apparently it's easier to withdraw from than Effexor. After 5 months I stabilised on 20mg Prozac. I am now on 10mg. It has been an extremely bumpy ride as till now I haven't had anyone to guide me through the process. It's been really enlightening reading some of the posts in this forum, and I know I need to be more prepared for the journey that lies ahead. I'm particularly concerned about getting my doctor on board with such a slow taper! I saw a document referred to as "Bliss Johns paper" mentioned in a couple of posts. Where do I get such a resource?
  24. Ive been following and reading on this site for 2 months now , i FT in a month from 10 to 5 and from 5 to 0 as my WD hit me very hard after 5 months i was thinking to resume my 10mg lexapro so i can 10% taper after im stabilized again. I wanted the opinions of u guys ! Any ideo or help is welcome !!
  25. SufferingCelexa

    SufferingCelexa: Intro

    I am 20 years old and just tapered off Celexa 4 weeks ago. I can't remember exactly but I think I started it my sophomore year of high school. I've always been healthy and active in sports but that year were some major life changes and I was suffering depression. I asked my mom to see a doctor. I really wanted medication because I thought it would help. On my first visit to the psychiatrist he said I had major depressive disorder and prescribed my first antidepressant. I don't remember what I started with but I was taking 40 mgs of Celexa when I quit. I thought it helped the first year but I struggled through my freshman year of college. Then my sophomore year everything went downhill. I just couldn't do it anymore. I quit my job and dropped out of school. I was having suicidal thoughts and feeling destructive. I smoked marijuana all the time and didn't want to do anything else. I didn't drink alcohol because I'm under 21 but also afraid it would cause a bad reaction with the medicine. When I'm alone I have no motivation to eat or feed myself. I didn't socialize much at all in college not even with my roommates. My mom insisted that the antidepressant wasn't helping me and was making everything worse. I finally agreed to come home and taper off last Christmas. The psychiatrist said I should reduce 1/4 each week so 30 mg to 20 mg to 10 mg the last week. The doctor at Kaiser said the withdrawals should only last 2 weeks. It's 4 weeks now and I feel terrible. When I talked to the doctor he said I am relapsing into depression and that I should try to find a medication that works for me. He gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin but now I'm terrified to take it. I don't want to go through this again. I know now from this site that I should have done a slower taper. I am thinking about reinstating but that scares me too but I think I could do it if that's the only choice to get out of this anxiety. I don't have the suicidal thoughts as much anymore. I just want to get better. I am taking CBD gummies to help with the withdrawals. I feel so weak, hopeless and worry I won't be able to have a normal life again and consistent mentally. I get triggered all the time and embarrass myself in public so I just don't like to be around other people. It's hard being out and seeing all the happy normal people. I just want to sleep all day. I've been pushing myself to go out for a walk or go to the gym because it's close by but only for 20 minutes.
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