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  1. I was given amitriptyline for severe insomnia and fluoxetine for cognitive function 30 years ago, after 6 months bedridden with Epstein Barr/Chronic Fatigue. Both were very successful, and I was able to return to work and later retire. I stopped amitriptyline a few years ago, no longer needed. Kept taking fluoxetine, which may not have been needed anymore. Fluoxetine "pooped out" early this year and I became very apathetic and anhedonic. I was put on 75 mg Effexor mid-April, without any washout period for the fluoxetine - neither I nor, apparently, my doctor, knew any better. It was very good at mood and energy improvement, but I had fairly bad physical side effects, and asked for lower dose. 37.5 mg still caused bad side effects. Like a fool, I stopped cold turkey one month ago. I knew I should count beads and taper, but simply could not force myself to put one more mg of this stuff into my body. Now I am paying the piper, and paying a lot. I found this site a few weeks ago, and have been looking for others who have severe physical WD symptoms. I may be lucky in that I have no emotional or cognitive symptoms, or unlucky in that I seem to have all of the physical ones. First 3 days off, my feet and calves swelled up like water balloons, along with neck and shoulder pain 24/7, which is still ongoing, but better. Muscle spasms in thigh muscles that made me actually scream one night during first week off. Chest tightness (muscle spasm?) that almost sent me to the ER several times. Shortness of breath has not gotten better so far, and insomnia is very severe. I feel terrible in the morning and all day until around 5 PM, then I seem to have a surge of wakefulness that lasts until 1 or 2 AM. Fatigue will not let up. I can't reinstate Effexor, as the side effects while taking it were much the same as WD, only less severe.
  2. Hi. Hoping for some advice. Unfortunately I didn't do my research properly before trying to taper off and discontinue citalopram. See signature. I managed to completely cut the citalopram out at the beginning of April this year and ploughed on through the horrible withdrawal, mostly emotional with mood swings. Mood gradually worsened and at the end of May had a massive crash - couldn't stop crying, the world seemed to be a different place, it looked different, and I could no longer function. Terrified the next morning I took a 10 mg pill of citalopram I had left over from last time. Saw the doctor the following Monday who encouraged me to continue with them. By Friday 7 June, my anxiety levels were that high with constant whooshes of panic that I went back to the doctor. He wanted to up the dose to 40mg but I said I was afraid this would lead to more anxiety. Agreed to up to 20 mg and he prescribed a weeks course of 2mg diazepam to help alleviate the panic. Diazepam helps but the underlying anxiety doesn't seem to be settling. Took the 20mg of citalopram this morning, have hardly been able to function all day. I'm at a loss at what to do. Should I stick at it and hope the citalopram will kick in again? Do I reduce right back down to say 5mg? Do I stop completely and ask for another medication to help stabilise me? I suspect nobody knows the answer. Feeling extremely restless when the diazepam wears off - I can't go on like this 😞
  3. Hi there, I was on Paxil for less than two years this time around. I started taking antidepressants again when I became paralyzed from falling down the stairs. I suffered with serotonin syndrome symptoms for over a year. I was also taking another medication that is known to interact with Paxil. The doctor did not help me in this matter. He did not know what was wrong with me. I finally found another doctor and began tapering off the paxil slowly like I had done in the past . I was on Paxil two other times in my life and had been on it longer than this time around. I never had any issues tapering, but I also never had serotonin syndrome symptoms before either. The first week of tapering I started having withdrawal symptoms and they never went away. My whole life has been put on hold. I can't function. I can't understand what people are saying because I can't focus. My head and vision are distorted. I am very tired all the time. Can't get myself to do anything or go anywhere. I also have headaches, night terrors, and GI symptoms. My food just sits in my stomach after I eat now and nothing moves. The only symptoms that did go away were these quick wooshes in my brain and sometimes my brain felt like it was short circuiting. 3 doctors i spoke to all said the same thing that I need to go back on antidepressants to get rid of these symptoms. My doctor gave me an order for Wellbutrin. I didn't know if Wellbutrin would work since it doesn't work on the same receptors so I did some more digging online. I read that you have to go back on the same/similiar antidepressant for reinstatement to work. Then I read on here, that reinstatement doesn't always work and you have to do it immediatley for your chances of effectiveness to be good. I immediately panicked and took a low dose of my Paxil. I have been on Paxil 10mg for 4 days now and I can't tell if it is helping at all. (I used to be on Paxil 20mg) I still feel out of it. I notice when I eat my symptoms get way worse. Especially when I eat carbs. Maybe because it releases serotonin? So, I try to avoid foods that trigger like carbs and triptophan releasing foods. I can't stop taking another medication that also secretes serotonin. It isn't an anitidepressant, but I have to take it throughout the day. Could this be making my withdrawals symptoms worse? I think so. I know it was interacting with my Paxil making my serotonin syndrome symptoms worse. This drug ,alone, is known to cause serotonin syndrome in some people so it just makes sense to me that this would make my withdrawal symptoms worse and I don't think there is anything I can do about it because I can't stop taking it. Or is there? Pain I read here that I need to be patient for reinstatement to work and it could vary in the length it takes to work. Thank you for those answers. How long have withdrawals been known to last without reinstatement? This is so scary. It has been nearly impossible to live like this. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. Hopefulpatti
  4. I'm new here. I began a (too fast) taper of 40 mg Prozac at the end of January 2018. Had been on for many years (at least 10+). As a sidenote, I also have Lyme disease which muddies the waters of symptoms and will explain why I didn't catch that I was declining once I started tapering. In looking back at texts I was writing to friends at the time, it is (now) clear to me that I was declining mentally very soon after I reduced the dose of Prozac, but I was attributing it to Lyme disease (not discontinuation of the drug), so I never connected the dots. I started reducing Prozac end of January 2018, and took my last dose end of April 2018 because "it's easy to come off of." During that time, my mental health declined rapidly and my sleep became awful. Again, I attributed these symptoms to Lyme and not discontinuation of the Prozac--it didn't even cross my mind. I finally connected the dots in December 2018, but had stopped the Prozac way back in April 2018. I still sleep only about 2 hours per night for the last 6 months and it's horrible. I used to sleep 7-8 easily before all of this. I've tried everything for sleep and nothing works, both Rx and natural. It scares me.My personality has changed, and I feel on the verge of cracking very soon. In August 2018 my doc put me on Lexapro, but after 3 weeks on it I felt like it made me more anxious, so I tapered over a couple weeks and went off it. I also tried Ambien several times (maybe 8 tablets total) from maybe Sept to November to sleep and it gives me suicidal thoughts upon waking, and never gave me much help--maybe 3 hours tops, but often just one hour of sleep. Tried the Ambien CR, and that gave me suicidal thoughts as well and never many hours of sleep. Mid-Novemember a doc put me on Ativan for sleep, but I hate benzos, so I took only a total of 7 .5mg tablets over a 12 day period and stopped. It always gave me at least 7 or 8 hours of sleep, but I was not willing to stay on it (addictive), and it exacerbates my depression as well. Also in November I tried (for 6 days) Remeron for sleep, (7.5 mg), but it didn't help and I didn't want to stay on it, so I tapered over a couple weeks and stopped. Tapering instructions of all these drugs was given by my medical providers, so none of the tapers were probably anywhere close to what I should have done. When I was done with this conglomeration of short-use drugs from August- November 2018, I felt like my brain was fried. I used to be a funny, silly, hilarious, fun loving person. I've become horribly depressed, anxious, and withdrawn....and often have thoughts of suicide that I cannot get out of my mind. I also am pretty convinced that my brain cannot handle psych drugs at all anymore. It's too sensitive and does not seem to rebound. I seem to be especially sensitive to benzos and the sleep meds. I am terrified to ever use another psych drug. I'll add: in 2014 (while on Prozac) I went through heavy anxiety, so was referred to a psychiatrist who (from July through December 2014) put me on a slew of different antidepressants and antipsychotics-(-introducing one, while withdrawing another), none of which worked, but it ended with clonazepam. I was on a small dose of .25-.50 mg intermittently over a few (maybe 3) months, put on too fast a taper, and went through HELL withdrawal. I was bedridden for at least 6 months, and still had symptoms up until I started coming off of Prozac last January 2018. What a mess. So this is my second time in 4 years of going through withdrawals from psych drugs, and I was never completely through with my first withdrawal episode (but was improving very very slowly). I am not taking any drugs right now, BUT I am a horrid mess. Not sleeping AT ALL (unless 2 hours per night counts as sleep); severe severe severe depression, depersonalization, feeling like I need to jump off a bridge all the time; I've become very angry and combative; I have hardly left the house in 6 months. I have tingling and numbness all over my body and face, panic attacks often, heavy heart palpitations, my brain often feels damaged, and suicidal thoughts are ever present in my mind. I also have difficulty breathing often--like labored breathing. My anxiety is off the charts constantly. My symptoms do not wax and wane--they are always there 24/7 and never subside. And obviously I cry a lot. I grieve the full life I used to have. I have a hard time taking care of myself: showering, eating, etc, but I manage to make it thru. I am 5 feet 1, and down to about 89 lbs (from probably 112). It's rough!! Any advice for me? I feel hopeless and un-fixable. I can't imagine that re-instating Prozac would help at all at this point, since it's been so long. What do you think? Feeling very very discouraged.
  5. I tapered from effexor 150 mg over 12 days, 11 weeks ago. I experienced nearly every acute side effect eg. derealisation/depersonalisation, euphoria, vertigo, tremor, intrusive suicidal thoughts, akathisia, blurred vision, crushing pressure in head, pins and needles in forehead etc. 2 weeks ago I started to feel increasing numbness in my forehead and cognitive problems with working memory etc. consistent with chemical lobotomisation. As of 10 days or so ago I am experiencing nausea, extreme intermittent confusion, memory loss, sweating, restless legs, heart arrythmias and tachycardia. I'm very frightened and don't know whether reinstating at a low dose could make things worse although its difficult to see how things could get much worse at this point. I feel as though I'm in late stage dementia and I'm 35. I have no appetite and have lost 10% of my body weight over the last week, from 54 kg to 49 kg at 167 cm. Has anyone reinstated this late from a rapid taper and found it beneficial or did it make things worse? Please help me I'm absolutely desperate.
  6. David182

    David182: hello all

    Hello everyone, I’d like to start off by saying thank you. The people of this forum have inspired much hope and understanding in the ways of antidepressant medication. I am grateful. I’ve been on Zoloft since the spring of 2015. Things had been going wonderfully well. I felt like myself but disconnected/ unplugged just enough to cope far better. Better mood, alertness and mental focus were a nice change of pace. Around the end of May 2017 I’d been taking BCAAs for working out for around 2 months. One Sunday, after lifting weights and mowing the yard I took a nap and woke up feeling off. I had low blood sugar issues for about a day, I couldn’t handle warm temperatures, couldn’t sleep well, and suffered hot flashes for the next few days. For a while I though I was sick. I took an lorazepam one evening (3 days later) and an extra zoloft because of horrible anxiety. I countinued to take my now double dose with my doctor’s permission. The next 6 weeks were h*ll. I had no idea Zoloft could do such things since I had no negative effects when I started. I could write a novel (as I’m sure we all could) but I’ll try and hit the main points. About week 6 I stabilized. I hadn’t found this site yet so many mistakes were made. i only stayed at 100mg for a week or so before I jumped to 75mg (I felt too apathetic about things, needed to lower). By this point I realized it was the Zoloft causing my problems. The next few weeks were quite uncomfortable but things went really bad when working out on the 3rd week caused me to crash...hard!! I switched doctors as I couldn’t seem to get anywhere with my other one. My new P.A diagnosed me with serotonin syndrome (a short 3 day stint of trazadone while doubling my dose no doubt contributed, different doctor) she dropped me from 75mg to 25mg of Zoloft. I felt so much better and for the next two weeks got to the point of feeling amazing. Then week three came and some light cardio pushed me over the edge and I crashed again. I also noticed I would have horrible low blood sugar issues for a day or two after crashing. after a week of misery. I bumped my dose to 50mg (I found this site by then). I felt immediate improvement. I began to heal but also began feeing strong sensations of numbness/ pins and needles in my hands and feet, weakness also. I am currently 7 weeks at 50mg. I’ve been struggling with tight & weak calves / ankles since, sporadic internal tremors and fatigue. Had back spasms for a bit about a week ago but not since. I’ve begun to sleep better in the past few weeks (7 hours on a good night but not consistently). I typically wake up around 5-6 hours after falling asleep but I don’t NEED medicine to help me fall asleep anymore (a few months of needing it). I would rather keep this short but I want you all to know my history. I saw a psychiatrist tonight at the recommendation of my PA (she was surprised when my reinstatement actually helped, she was convinced I hadn’t dropped too low too fast. She is a wonderful PA and God worked through her, saved my life when I had serotonin syndrome.) The psychiatrist on the other hand... I have mixed feelings. I flat out refused any other medication. She believes my first incident was serotonin syndrome. Maybe so? BCCA actually inhibit triptophan uptake but then again my workout protein powder did have triptophan in it (I have quit taking all workout supplements months ago). The psychiatrist also thinks I’m suffering from serotonin syndrome now. (Currently weakness in legs, pins and needles in hands and feet, stiff feeling calves and maybe hands, hands and feet more susceptible to being cold) what do do you all think? Do I continue to continue to tough it out at 50mg? Is this a sign my body is too sensitized for this dose? (I was at 25mg for one month before reinstating to 50mg) I will work on my signature as soon as I figure out how to do it. Thank you for your time. I trust you all more than the medical “professionals”
  7. Lollypops

    Lollypops

    Hi, I was on cymbalta for 7 years and previous to that I was taking Effexor for 3 years. It was very hard to withdrawal from Effexor (at 21 years old), it 6 took months of rest and klonipin to stop panic attack, brain zaps, irritability, anxiety, agoraphobia, anger, abnormal sensation in my body, dizziness, nausea.. the list goes on. I don’t remember the exact dose I was on because it was so long ago but my new psychiatrist at the time mentioned it was too high for someone with my body weight and severity of depression. The doctor said I needed to establish my routine and force myself to follow through with getting through work each day while I withdrew. Needless to say, I got passed the withdrawal but by far that was the worst I ever felt in my life. I was 29 when I came off of cymbalta( 90mg), it only took 2 months to withdrawal. I had severe mood swings and excessive hunger... I did not have any sensation issues or brain zaps. I was taking a prenatal vitamin because my husband and I were planning to have another baby (one baby came out being twins btw) I think that what made it easier to withdrawal from cymbalta was the vitamins I was on. I still remember 2 days after being off cymbalta, I was having really bad temper problems! I also suffered from memory issues and slight paranoia but it was fairly quick to get rid of those symptoms. I don’t think I mentioned this already but I suffer from major depressive disorder, fibromyalgia, and really terrible panic and anxiety disorder. I was able to successfully withdrawal from the cymbalta and Effexor with routine, vitamins, plenty of rest, and a lot of encouragement from family. I am now 35 and have been on Prozac for about 5 years. About 3 weeks ago, my psychiatrist took me off of the Prozac (60mg) cold turkey and put me on Wellbutrin. I have to say, I was feeling really good until about a week ago when I started experiencing the brain zaps, dizziness, sleepiness, frequent body pain, headaches, and vertigo. Today I started having irritability issues and feel like I am going to snap at anyone who talks to me in any sort of way that I feel is aggressive, almost like someone else is taking over!! I really hope that I am successful getting off of prozac because I almost feel like I could go off the deep end when I start to feel the irritability coming on. Personally, I think cold turkey is the wrong move for me coming off Prozac.
  8. Hello to all of you! I just discovered this forum and I think it's best for me to ask you for advice, since most doctors here in germany don't have a clue about ssri withdrawal.. So I'm trying to keep it short. I was prescribed 20mg of escitalopram (=40mg citalopram) in september 2017 after having severe depression, caused by withdrawal from benzos (lorazepam) which I'm off for 16 months now. The ssri helped me a lot and thankfully my depression went away and never came back. I tried to get off the ssri in april this year and tapered waaaay too fast. Took 10mg for a week, then 5 for a week and then zero. The withdrawal symptoms were severe but i could stand them. But after 3 months I got some heavy muscle pain and numbness in my forearms and felt so fatigue i couldn't get out of bed anymore. That led me to reinstating the drug at 6mg at first. I didn't feel much better, so i updosed to 10mg 10 days later. The first 5 days or so i felt pretty well, but after that I felt much worse and I'm feeling worse every day since then. I'm suffering severe anhedonia, brain fog, anxiety and a bit of fatigue. At least the muscle weakness is gone. Honestly I don't really know what to do next. Updosing to 10mg was about 12 days ago and i wonder if I should go back to a lower dose like 5mg or should just wait and hope to get better. Hope some of you can help me Much greetings, Gaebbi
  9. Hi All, Firstly thanks for the excellent site and taking the time to review my post. History is long, so in the interest of time, 20 yrs on SSRI's (i've tried virtually all but had most luck with prozac and lexapro) with a 4 month bout of Remeron (awful w/d not helped by cross taper) and benzo's on/off for 8 years or so. Benzo: I've successfully switched from .5mg of clonazepam/day to 10mg valium and i'm now at 2mg per day. A bit more about this below. SSRI: Was on 20 mg for celexa for the last several months but completely zombified so decided it's finally time to be done with this sh1t I dropped relatively quickly per docs orders with really no impact down to 5mg celexa completely stopping the celexa and valium on May 1. Started 10 mg prozac only May 1, by May 4 really awful DR with anxiety, inability to focus, sleeplesness, headaches. Reinstated 1-2 mg valium which helped a little bit. Yesterday i tested the waters and dropped the prozac down to 5 mg to see if agitation was from that which resulted in bad anxiety, chills,and shaking. Took the other 5 g prozac and an additional 1mg valium which helped a bit. Today slightly better back at 10mg prozac and 2mg valium in the morning. I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow and really don't know what to do and not sure i trust his opinion frankly but do believe he will be fine with what i recommend. I consider these the following my options: 1.) Reinstate celexa at last dose (5mg?), drop prozac entirely after a week or 2, and keep valium, then micro taper off at 10% per 3 weeks or so. 2.) Hold steady on prozac and valium for awhile (how long?) then micro taper 3.) Something else? Any thoughts are much appreciated and i apologize for any incoherence in this post but just got back from work trip and wanted to get this out there for the educated folks to review asap. Many thanks for any input and your time!!! methuselah
  10. Hi everyone, Very happy to have found this forum, as I feel my doctor has been a bit too aggressive with medication changes recently and I am not sure what to do. As history, I was put on 10 mg of Zyprexa when hospitalized for a psychotic episode Spring 2017. That was followed by 10 mg of Lexapro for depression and anxiety. When I later had insomnia the Lexapro was increased to 20 mg. I gradually reduced the Zyprexa to 2.5 mg with the support of my doctor. I recently moved across the country and began seeing a new psychiatrist for general support but also due to continued depression, anxiety and a new bout of insomnia. She had me stop the Zyprexa 2.5 mg and replaced it with Seroquel (same class, more sedating), but I had a paradoxical reaction to the Seroquel (has also happened to me with every sleep med), so we discontinued it and never resumed the Zyprexa, so I am withdrawing. She also had me change from Lexapro to Zoloft to try to assist with sleep about 2.5 weeks ago--stopped Lexapro and started Zoloft at 25 mg with intent to quickly increase to 100 (equivalent to Lexapro 20). I immediately started having palpitations which only increased as I increased the dosage to 100, insomnia worsened, so we reduced it back to 25. The palpitations continued (though not as badly) and I developed allergy type symptoms (sneezing, cough, runny nose) and increased anxiety. I felt I was reacting to the Zoloft, so we decided after less than 2 weeks to switch me back to the Lexapro--a known entity. We did a quick taper of the Zoloft (12.5 mg one day, nothing the next) then resumed Lexapro at 10 mg for 2 days five days ago. My doctor advised me to decide whether to increase it more thereafter depending on how I felt. I was still having palpitations at 2 days on 10 mg Lexapro and thought perhaps I was having Lexapro withdrawal from the change attempt and low dose of Zoloft so increased to 15 mg, have been there for 3 days. Palpitations and anxiety are worse (I have had them medically checked and my heart is ok) and then I found this site and realized I have probably been withdrawing from Lexapro over the last 3 weeks and reinstating at a high-ish dose might not be the best idea. I have also taken 1 mg of Ativan a few times in desperation to relieve anxiety and insomnia, but do not want to become dependent on it. I am lost here! Not sure whether to go up or down on the Lexapro (intuitively down feels best, with the possibility of increasing later). I would be grateful for any suggestions. Thanks so much for reading!
  11. I started citalopram about 10 years ago at 40 mg. I have spent the last four years tapering off. I was at 10 mg. for about 2 months, and then at 5 mg for about two weeks. I felt ok, so then I stopped completely. I was ok for about a week after my last dose, but then started having really, really bad irritability. I have no patience and have a lot of trouble sleeping. At night, when I'm trying to sleep, I feel very jittery. I'm assuming it took a week to get it all out of my body. So I've just read about reinstating it. I just made up the liquid solution. I thought maybe I'd start taking 3 mg each night. Wondering what everyone else thinks. Should I start back lower? If I knew this irritability would be short tem, I might try to wait it out, but it's been five days and I'm having a lot of difficulty. If I start back on 3 mg, what should my taper schedule be? How long should it take. I'm also taking 600 mg. gabpentin and low dose naltrexone. Not sure if that makes a difference.
  12. Hi, I've been on Lexapro for a year. My highest dose was 5 mgs. Since Aug. 4th I tapered to 1,25 mg daily. I am feeling terrible. A complete lack of motivation. Unable to get out of bed, wash myself. Stopped working a year and a half ago, am on disability benefit. Lots of anxiety, compulsions and obsessions (hand-washing), terrible insomnia. The additional problem is I'm taking Valium and Ambien. For sleep also Seroquel, a tiny amount (a quarter of 25 mg). Also anti-acne (BC) medication Diane-35. Used to be on Lexapro 10-15 mg in years 2007-2011, switched to Effexor for two years 2012-2013. This caused me terrible acne and post-acne scarring, then to Wellbutrin for 1 month (hot flashes, gaining weight). Then to Prozac for a year. Could normally function, work, but developped severe anxiety, which finally led me to benzos. Zoloft acts on me similarly to Prozac. Severe anxiety. Overall, I've been taking antidepressants for 15 years. What should I do about Lexapro? Reinstate? Quit completely? Feel like killing myself. Hugs, Melanie
  13. Hello, I have a 20 year history of antidepressant use following a breakdown. I have been on and off Citalopram and Sertraline which are the GP's 'go to' meds for most of their patients. However, about 5 years ago my anxiety and depression seemed to get worse, maybe it was something to do with the Menopause? - I spent a small fortune on private counselling, which by the way didn't seem to clear up any problems psychologically. So, on her recommendation I went to see a private psych doc (£300 per hour!) - He prescribed my Venlafaxine which I stayed on for about 2 years. The dose was increased incrementally from 150mg until I was on 375mg daily (quite a big dose for a 4'11" petite lady!) I found Venlafaxine a weird drug which gave me horrendous nightmares every night, stomach problems and while it did work for a few weeks, didn't provide a stable plateau in my general mental health. I decided to taper from Venlafaxine last September (2016) and reduced fairly quickly dropping by 37.5mg every 4 weeks ish. When I was down to 112.5mg Ven, my GP decided to introduce Sertraline 50mg (as I was very tearful) - I continued taking both and stopped the Ven all together in March 2017. My GP increased the Sertraline to 100mg which gave me awful anxiety for 7 weeks, so I reduced back down to 50mg. I have now stopped ALL ANTIDEPRESSANT drugs completely !!!! I have been drug free for 3 weeks now - what a roller-coaster it has been.These are my current symptoms: I cry daily, I feel woozy and dizzy and very tired at times, I have suicidal thoughts occasionally and yet, there are moments of total normality and general happiness! My depression has never been the 'stay in bed' type, I am very active - I love gardening, cycling, painting, sewing and being a Granny! and I continue to do things even when I feel like crap. My dilemma is, do I stick with this emotional hell that I feel I am going through at the moment? will it get better? will I ever be 'normal' again without antidepressants? Am I strong enough to keep going? Please, please give me some advice. I would love to hear some success stories, I really need some support and idea how long these horrible discontinuation symptoms will last Thanks, Thepaintinglady (currently painting the kitchen ceiling and not a work of art!)
  14. Hi everyone. I am hoping to get some much needed (and very much appreciated) advice on my situation. As you see, I had been on Sertraline for almost 2 years, or around the two year mark, before I began a too fast taper in 2016 which lead to my withdrawal syndrome in September 2016. My doctor had me taper in 6 weeks completely off Sertraline, jumping off at 25mg and not even tapering the 25mg, just cold turkeying the 25 per his instruction. Well, I was feeling some withdrawal symptoms, I just didn't realize what they truly meant, and my doctor had told me not to worry 'they will clear up in a few weeks" well they didn't really clear up, but actually got worse two-three months later. I want to make this as short as possible so it is easy to read, but long story short, I ended up reinstating Sertraline at 12.5mg first week, at the same time tapering the 30mg of buspirone my doctor had tried to test out on me for almost two weeks. Each week, he upped my dose of Sertraline during my reinstatement, until I reached 57mg and my body rejected anything above the 57mg. However, I did not know anything about withdrawal or tapering back then, and realize that I was put on way too high of a dose for reinstatement. This has me very scared and very anxious, I try hard not to be, and most of it is likely neuro related, but I wonder what I can do if I feel it's too high? I've got the anhedonia, but I've had this since December, and it actually was brought on more or less by my doctor trying to put me back up to 75mg, maybe that was just a coincidence, but I am not so sure. Each adjustment of the sertraline left me with worsened insomnia, worsened panic, trembling and what I can only describe as body jolts every morning for four months straight. And trying to sleep at night I felt like I was having seizures almost, where my body would jolt me awake just as I was drifting off to sleep, heart would be racing, fear and panic would run rampant and worsen in the morning. I still have mild teeth chattering every morning and especially when the anxiety or stress comes on. I reinstated pretty quick, where I reinstated as soon as my withdrawal symptoms started getting worse, I didn't wait it out even though I really wanted to. I didn't want to go back on the medication after what it had done to me, but didn't know what else to do. Then, everyone I trusted, my doctor especially, had me convinced I had developed several new mental disorders in a matter of three days. I was so so scared, and my anxiety was through the roof. I really stressed myself out a lot trying to figure out "what was wrong with me" because I did not know at the time. On top of that I had the professionals I trusted assuring me it was my "symptoms coming back" (they actually said that right after I already told them I never ever had these symptoms before in my life, not even one of them.) Then I happened to find SA, during my research into my symptoms and the ssri I was taking. I learned a lot in one night, and my jaw dropped. My gut had been telling me all this time it was the drug, it was withdrawal. But I ignored it and listened to the "experts" instead. HUGE MISTAKE!! Now I am stuck in a situation that makes me fear for the future, and not sure what I can do now that I am back on a higher dose. If I would've known better, I would not have allowed my doctor to titrate me up so high. I would've sat at the lowest possible dose, even the 12.5mg. My withdrawal symptoms had really settled down a lot for the last two or three months now though. My appetite came back, libido came back, depression lifted almost instantly upon reinstatement, the anxiety and panic took a while to lift but that has really settled down a ton and only sporadically (maybe lasting a second or two) I'll feel a blip of panic and anxiety (typically when under a lot of built up stress), and my biggest gripe for withdrawal symptoms as of now is the anhedonia, but even that was beginning to lift where I'd get moments of joy or contentment or my interests peaking through the veil of anhedonia. My sleep actually went back to normal in the last week or two, and I haven't been waking with the dread or anxiety for the past three months now, and I have been feeling pretty good except now I got back into this wave and I think it's because I'm stressing over tapering and my dosage after what I read last night. I read on SA someone said that being on too high a reinstatement dose can permanently damage your brain, where you will never heal from it. So I am really scared... I really need advice or wisdom on where to go from here. At this point, I worry I'll always feel this way and I'll never recover any further than where I currently am. I'd be fine if I felt somewhat normal, where I could handle the withdrawal symptoms temporarily until they pass, and I do admit that on my better days I certainly can handle them. But I feel like reinstatement was pointless or worse for me than just muscling through the withdrawals after what I read about high dose reinstatement. I feel like A) it's going to take forever just to stabilise on this dose and B it's going to be painful trying to taper when the time comes, due to that I may have permanently damaged my brain with my reinstatement. I guess what I am wondering now is, do I stay on this dose and wait for the anhedonia to completely go away, or how do I know when I am ready to begin tapering? At this point I am just feeling very confused and afraid about my dose and tapering in the future. I feel lost. I'd really appreciate any help! Thank you!
  15. Thank you so much for being here. My life is now a nightmare. People around me think I'm doing fine but living in my head and heart since I went off Effexor XR has been increasingly a complete nightmare for me. I was on 225 mg Effexor XR for 11 years. I'm 65 and creative and decided I wanted to be free of this drug so I could be fully myself and not feel that revved-up feeling I always had from the drug. I felt like the drug was a cage that protected me but it also felt like a prison and I wanted to give myself freedom as a gift for the rest of my life. I now know that the 'gradual' withdrawal I did was not gradual at all. I weaned off 37.5 every week or two until about 6 weeks later I was down to 37.5 for a week or 10 days then went to 0. I have Celiac and I had an accidental gluten attack at the same time the horrors of going from 37.5 to 0 kicked in. For a few weeks I thought I was just having a prolonged reaction to the gluten. It feels like my hopelessness and depression and wild fear of life is getting worse and worse instead of better and better with the passing of time. I'm now 3 months at 0 Effexor XR and desperately need guidance to reinstate however many beads you all think would be helpful. A kind person on the Effexor Withdrawal group on Facebook posted her success with feeling amazingly better by reinstating 5 beads a day. I started reinstating 5 beads a day 7 days ago. I feel worse but I'm sure it's not the beads that's making me feel worse, I'm sure it's just the hell I've brought on myself by going from 225 mg for 11 years to a fast and (now I realize) reckless wean. The last worst being the 37.5 to 0. Should I do more than 5 beads since I was on such a high dose for so long. Thank you thank you thank you for *any*help you can give me.
  16. I came off Paxil over the last 3 months and was doing well. I started Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS) rTMS is a safe, alternative and effective, non-invasive neurostimulation treatment for patients suffering with depression who do not respond to antidepressant medications OR who cannot tolerate medication side effects. i change my diet completely. I exercised every day , but I think like many I was over confident and went too fast. I reluctanly decided to reintroduce ri and small dose of 2.5 mg of the 50 I was originally taking. I hope to see some success as my symptoms are nailing me like a truck hitting a stop sign. I will post my results positive or negative going forward. Eugene
  17. After a 3.5 months break from paxil - please see my history in my signature - which was bearable as I had a very good acupuncture treatment abroad - my withdrawal became unbearable, I am suicidal, I am terribly afraid, I do not know how to get out of this or if I can ever get out and this is the very end. I have no medical support here in France, only doctors knowing the official information delivered to them by GKS drug company. It was possible to have this 3.5 month break only with acupuncture, but here, it is a small town, I tried to find some decent acupuncturists, no chance, their knowledge is very limited, although they received exactly the spots to be used, they cannot do it, I have no results here. But maybe this acupuncture only hid somehow my WD, I do not know. Because last week (I returned to Concarneau, my home in France on 14 February) it became unbearable. I made reinstatement last Sat, 20 Feb, I simply had no other choice although I hate now the paxil, by subtracting 10% of paxil for every month of break as I read. It is still extremely bad after one week. Do you have any idea when and if WD symptoms can alleviate? Or is it to late? And what can it happen if it is too late? Please, if I am quite confuse and not clear enough, just ask for more details, I really need some advice from experience. Thanks a lot all of you!
  18. Hi all, I had been on Prozac 40mg for approx.4 years and Trazadone 50 mg for close to the same. In March of 2017, I decided to start weaning off both. I had attempted weaning off Prozac in the past with terrible withdrawal symptoms, and tried to take it slower this time. I tapered off by initially starting to take the meds every other day, then every 3 days, etc. over a 3 month period. About two months after being off both medications completely, I started having severe nausea and diarrhea, to the point where I was not able to go out in public during the morning when it was the worst. After doing some research, I decided to reinstate the prozac at 20 mg last week. Now I am having bad anxiety and light headedness, to the point where I am not comfortable driving. I am wondering since I was off the prozac for approx. 3 months, if I waited too long to reinstate and now I am having a bad reaction to the prozac or if I did not reinstate at the proper dosage. I should note I have not started taking the trazadone again as it was initially prescribed for insomnia issues, which have been better. My prescribing Dr. was the one who told me I could taper off by taking every other day and doesn't seem to acknowledge the severe withdrawal symptoms so her opinion on this matter is not helpful. I would appreciate any suggestions anyone has. I am supposed to travel this weekend and as of right now, the thought of being on a plane, let alone away from my home, is terrifying. Thanks, Beth
  19. Hi everyone - Long story but here it goes i will do my best to use that bit of brain that still feels like its working to explain. (Bet you all know how and what i mean). Over the years i have been on a few different SSRI drugs or as i like to call them now POISON!. Starting of 5 years ago on citalopram 40mg i had anxiety at this point... Looking back it was nothing like i have experienced in the last few months it happened more in situational circumstances as in i worried about being stuck in traffic and not having a toilet around. My anxiety would then cause me to need a poo etc. But at home i was in my safe place and rarely had panic attacks. My gosh how all that has changed. I now have anxiety attacks in my home god knows how many times a day my safe space has been destroyed and i don't no what it feels like to have a safe place anymore. My health anxiety is atrocious and my agoraphobia is to a new level. So a few years of being on citalopram and nothing really seemed to get any better just worse so i went back to the doctors. This is when they put me on to sertraline!!! There was no taper just a straight swap to 50mg of sertraline. I was lucky and i say lucky now as i didnt seem to have any effects of changing over to a different tablet. So over a period of a year i went from 50mg to the max of 200mg with the added 40mg 3x a day of proparanolol for a while i was ok anxiety still there but nothing like it is now. Then wham all off a sudden i couldn't function again anxiety was through the roof i was dizzy and nauseous constantly and then the agoraphobia hit. I quit my job as i physical couldn't go out anymore. So back to the doctors 5 months ago and here is were all this started. So the doctors told me to cut my sertraline down from 200mg for a few weeks and then stop at 100mg and go onto 20mg of mirtazapine. For the first few days i felt great then WHAM. Whilst sat in my bedroom my eyesight went and i couldn't see a thing. Instantly my body went into panic after about 15 minutes (seemed like a lifetime) my eyesight came back. I stood up and my whole left side of my body, and in my mouth went numb like i had been given way to much anaesthetic. That night i called the Paramedics for the first time. They checked the normal and done a ECG. Everything came back as it should. Within a few hours it was gone and i felt stupid. So i carried on with the mitazapine as been instructed by the doctor. Few more days in a now it had reached an all time high. I was convulsing constantly, shivering but was absolutely boiling. I couldn't settle at all constantly pacing around even though i felt shattered my body would not allow me to settle and sleep. I couldnt eat anything, i was shaking constantly etc etc.This went on for what felt like months but in reality was about two weeks. Doctors were called again and i was told to stop the mitazapine. ( i had taken 14 pills) i was then put straight on to fluoxetine 20mg. At this point i was so frightened of being left on my own that i was having 24 hour care shared between my Mum,Dad and Partner. So off i go putting another drug into my cocktail of drugs in my body. Still feeling just as bad as ever. All i can say here is by the 19th day of the fluoxetine i had, had enough of these tablets and made my own decision to get every single one out of my system. I may have been wrong to do this but i could not take anymore. So 5 months of the sertraline 200mg and 4 months off the 20mg of mirtazapine and just over 3 months of stopping the fluoxtine. As i said the last two drugs i was on no longer then 2 weeks each. My god how do the doctors not know what these tablets can do especially when they dish them out like they are sweets. Here and now - - Constant tingling all over my body especially worst when i first wake up and when im trying to sleep. - Burning skin, like somebody is holding a match under my skin at all times. But yet my hands and feet are numb and cold. - Bloated beyond belief - Dizzy ness i don't no what it feels like to not feel like im on a rocking boat in the middle of the ocean. - Itching like there are millions of bugs on my body. Sometimes it feels like they are trying to get in, sometimes it feels like they are trying to get out. - Body jolts. Most annoying at night when im trying to sleep. Its like some annoying farmer is prodding me with a cattle prod. - As soon as i eat it feels like my body goes into more dark places. Anxiety levels increase. - Small amounts of food send my blood sugars up from 5.5 to anywhere between 8 and 10. Absolutely petrified to eat anything to sugary. - Urination approximately 4 times in an hour every hour. Bladder always feels full and heavy. - Body temperature always low..34.9 •c even though i dont feel cold. - Clenched jaw all the time that then gives me headache. I could go on and on and everyday there maybe something new. Will life ever be normal again i would give anything to just have my plain old anxiety back. I feel for each and everyone of you on here that have been let down or not listened to by doctors. My heart goes out to you all. I pray that i will return to some sort of normality. Some days are harder than others as ive learnt that there are definitely Windows and Waves in this process. But when those Waves hit they hit hard i wonder how i will ever make it through this. Everyday is a roller coaster of different Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Social whirlwinds wondering if there is something more to this and my organs are failing me slowly. But each day i am still here and i am determined to fight this! Love to you all Laura from the UK 🇬🇧 x
  20. I had postpartum depression 30 years ago. I experienced full recovery after 6 months without any meds. I do, however, think this experience left me with a fear of it ever coming back, i.e. fear of panic and anxiety. About 10 years ago, I had some anxiety (which I now think was partially hormone related) but anyway, Doc put me on Citalopram, 10 mg/ I took it for a year with success, then up to 20mg for 6 years. It worked as I didn't have any panic attacks or severe anxiety during that time. Then it stopped working 3 years ago and I had horrible symptoms. My anxiety was out of control. I felt like I had the flu for months and terrible GI problems. Went to docs to check for other problems and she went back to the anxiety dx. She upped my dose to 40 mg. Again, it worked OK, the worst of the anxiety was gone. Then BOOM. In March 2016 I went into my worst panic ever. I lost myself and became a bag of nerves who couldn't function.I was so bad, and I got mad and blamed the pills for doing a 180 on me I just stopped taking the meds as soon as I ran out). Cold turkey. Bad decision. I simply spiraled into hell. Symptoms I never had before came to try to kill me. Depersonalization, internal shakes, brain zaps, flu like symptoms, no energy, night sweats, weight loss, burning body, anxiety like never before, etc. I tried to explain it to my husband, and they only thing I could tell him was that i felt like I was poisoned. Long story but from here to there I have lost myself completely. . After a few months of this, I went back to my doc and she said my withdraw symptoms should be gone and I'm just back to being anxious. (Like never before mind you) She put me on Prozac and I had a horrible reaction. Almost suicidal. Not on anything now and feeling like I'll never be well. I'm in hell. My physical and mental symptoms are sometimes, too often, unbearable. I am a happily married 58 year old with awesome kids and a life I love....or would love if I was capable of coping. These horrible symptoms have taken all of my joy away. I have so much to live for and get well for, but i can't find the way out. My future is promising, but looks like just more torture from where I'm standing. It seems quitting cold turkey screwed me up pretty bad. Wish I never would have taken these drugs. I never, ever felt this bad in my life. About to give up. So, here I am. I am afraid of reintroducing drugs for fear of them making me worse. I've tried lots of minerals, vitamins, yoga, hypnosis, accupunture, meditation, prayer, healthy eating, exercising, mindfulness, reading, and more. But, while some have kept me from going over the edge, there has been no real relief. Today I resorting to taking a Xanax to make it through an event I had to attend, Sorry for the rant, I would so appreciate any advice or suggestions. Bless you all
  21. Hi all, My problem is my neurologist never warned me about possibilities of withdrawal symptoms, and took me cold-turkey off Deanxit and Cypralex, and later I went cold-turky from Cymbalta twice (of course had no idea about tapering etc). So here is my story in details: 03/2014 -03/2015 - 1 Deanxit pill and 10mg of Cipralex and Clonazepam 1mg daily. Prescribed for pain in the foot, when all other exams returned nothing. Neurologist diagnosis was "serotonergic dysfunction suspect". I was scheduled for operation (not related to this problem) and 4 days before operation my neurologist took me off Deanxit and Cipralex cold-turkey. I had mild withdrawal symptoms: flu-like symptoms, headache, eye pain, eye burning sensation and strong neck pain. Due to extremely strong neck pain neurologist prescribed me Cymbalta 30mg for one week and then 60mg after that. I was on 60mg of Cymbalta from 06/2015 to 09/2015. I wanted to stop taking Cymbalta and during one week I lowered my dose from 60mg to zero. I still didn't know about withdrawal problems, and my neurologist never mentioned it. After few days I got extreme brain zaps while moving my eyes. Immediately I got back to 60mg and 2 days later everything was OK. 2 weeks I was on 60mg and feeling stable, I started to lower my dose on 30mg. 3 weeks later extreme withdrawal symptoms started (abdominal crabs, diarrhea, vomiting, electric shock sensations while moving eyes, rapid eyes movement when my eyes are close, myoclonic jerks of all parts of the body, sensory overload). 10 days later (07th of November) I got back to my max dose (60mg) and 2 months later and I still have severe withdrawal symptoms: myoclonic jerks of arms and legs, muscle twitching, sometimes diarrhea, constant nausea, extreme problems while moving eyes (can't focus on anything, e.g. watching out of bus, everything moves too fast and triggers extreme discomfort in my braing), sometimes mild brain zaps, pain in my whole back(this is new symptom after reinstatement) and extreme sensory overload to the any kind of sound. In the meanwhile I have read everything online about withdrawal, seen all doctors in my area (no use) and I'm fully aware of my situation. Unfortunately, I didn't know all this before. Of course I want to take this poison out of my body/brain, but now I just want to stabilize so I can go to work again and at least try to have normal life and then start slow tapering. I'm taking every supplement I read it could help: Omega 3 fish-oil, calcium, magnesium, folic acid, zinc, vitamins (D, B1, B6, B12), antioxidants,Probiotics and taking baths in Epsom salt. Sorry for long intro, I don't know how is relevant to write everything. So, long story short, more than 2 months of reinstatement I have minimum improvement of my symptoms and don't know what to do. Has anyone else had similar situation, that can't stabilise even after more than 2 months of reinstatement? This whole time I'm taking 1mg of Clonazepam constantly. My doctor wants to prescribe me lowest dose (half pill of 25mg) of Seroquel and cut my Clonazepam to half (0.5 mg), saying it would help me to get of Cymbalta. Should I go with it or no? Once again sorry for long intro, and thanks in advance for help.
  22. Hi everyone, I was on Citalopram (Celexa) for 14 years. 20 mg almost all the time, with some brief increases to 40 mg. When i started, the side effects i experienced was some brain zaps. Last year i tapered from 20 to 15, 10, 5 and down to 0, over 12 months time. At 5 mg I began to have brain zaps at night, if i woke up early and tried to fall back to sleep. Now I've been med-free for almost 11 months. The first 6 months worked okay, apart from the brain zaps. Then I faced some stressful events, I had some issues with an injured leg and I experienced a traffic accident. I was not in any acute or deadly harm from this two experiences, but they made me very anxious and tense and now I'm beginning to find it harder and harder to cope with the stress of daily life. I found this site, and with this I realize that I tapered wrong, too fast. Now I'm very anxious, and confused at what to do from here. Is there som advice or thoughts out there? I tapered to fast probably, but how should I go about thinking of reinstatement? Is there a possibility that a slower tapering could benefit me if I reinstate now, or is 11 months too long to try that route? All the best/ Tamarino
  23. so here i am building a public diary about my experience with sertraline. my intent is quite selfish i assure you - i seek catharsis - but with a little luck this introduction will evolve into a success story, and someone else who also struggles may be uplifted in the process. it helps to read about the experiences of others and I'm hoping it helps to talk about my own even more. i guess thats why we're all here, to talk. i just wish i could cuss here cuz its like half my vocabulary. anyway, after taking sertraline 50mg for seasonal affective disorder for three years with no adverse effects i figured i would quit. after a little research i did what amounted to a taper over the course of 6 weeks. i felt fine and had no side effects for two months after my last dose. i thought i had moved on, no biggie. about a week ago i had a panic attack seemingly out of nowhere. it basically didn't subside for three days and i was clueless as to what the problem was. i figured i had finally snapped. i was afraid to be home alone so most of the first 72 hrs were spent driving around aimlessly searching for meaningless tasks to keep me occupied and visiting friends on high alert at best, full blown panic at worst. i couldn't eat or sleep or think and my vision was screwy and my adrenaline pumped and my ears rang and my heart beat and my breathing was labored. confusion ruled and still i was determined to ride it out like a bad trip. through conversation with friends and internet research i realized i was experiencing withdrawal. it was something i hadn't considered and i was floored by the implications. after researching this site and the horrors contained within it i decided to reinstate sertraline at 25mg on 7-7-16, 3 days after withdrawal symptoms began in the hopes of stabilization and eventual slow taper. as of now it has been about 48 hrs since reinstatement of 25mg once daily in the morning. i realize it takes time for the drug to build and have an effect but i suspect there has already been some improvement. i haven't have a bad reaction and have had limited success with food and sleep so for now i hold and hope. ill hold forever if need be, i can be rather tenacious when properly motivated, even if this is the weakest i have ever felt. it has been and still is quite the roller coaster of fear but i am hopeful…ish. this forum has helped so much already and may prove to be my rock, my arm floaties in rough seas, and my fuzzie kitten for my nerves. thank you. stay tuned for the next freak out!
  24. Hi, Reaching out for some hope and some help after talking with Betsy on another site. Background: Was once on Venlafaxine (Effexor) from end of 2000 to early 2009. Came off with emotional imbalance but no long-lasting physical withdrawal symptoms. I replaced the pills with a lot of exercise and good sleep. Last year I was playing a minority sport at international level. Now I am nothing, unable to function. Acute stress in early 2016 leading to colds, possibly a virus (may have been exhaustion), a calf tear and then extreme anxiety that I had a clot in it followed by tremors which I thought were a serious neurological illness. GPs said it was neither. Referred for an ultrasound (two months later came back negative). Visited GP who prescribed Propanolol (3x10mg). Had side effects and had a panic attack in the night. Thought I was actually dying. He changed me to Atenolol (1x50mg) and Venlafaxine (Venlablue extended release) (2x37.5mg capsules). Came off the beta blockers quite quickly (he advised to stop taking the Atenolol and use the Propanolol to taper down). In hindsight I think this was done too quickly. Stayed on the Venlafaxine. Suffered from tachycardia and high blood pressure which exacerbated the anxiety even more. Eventually these stabilised to an extent. I decided I felt ok and didn’t want to be on any pills so I started to taper the Venlafaxine. I took one capsule once a day for a week then opened it up and took one of the three 12.5mg tabs out. So total taper was 7 days at 37.5mg and 2 days at 25mg, total days on the Venlafaxine 34 days. Went through hell. Which then got worse. I now know this taper was too fast. Had a rebound of the tachycardia but that all settled down again. Had the electric shocks in the head, headaches, sense of not being here, indigestion leading to heartburn, muscle pains and twitches, waking up with a clenched jaw and shaky, all sorts of things. At times it felt like the body was shutting down, everything was closing in. I identified this seem to happen after eating certain things. Specifically sugar, spinach, possibly broccoli and possibly wheat (I generally haven’t eat much gluten for years). Supplemented with Omega 3,6,9 (I already took one a day, upped to 3), Magnesium and Calcium and a pretty thorough multi-vitamin (Wellman, which I already took). When the heartburn got bad I started taking apple cider vinegar before meals. Struggled for weeks with pressure in the head, throbbing pulse in the belly and generally feeling horrific. Stool is not normal, looks undigested. Went for tests at the GP, bloods came back all ok. B12 ok, vitamin D ok, Thyroid (TSH and T4 only) ok, Glandular fever negative. I’ve been for massage, been to the chiropractor (atlas was out and was adjusted) which seemed to stop in the internal vibrations I was getting at night. After 10 weeks of this horrendous withdrawal and with the indigestion now turning into a complete loss of appetite (I have never not been hungry) and now weight loss I decided to reinstate at a low dose. I had been unsure of whether to do this as I kept believing there was something else wrong, another test needed. I cut a 37.5mg instant release pill into quarters on Saturday night and within an hour I felt like myself for the first time in weeks or months (I don’t know anymore as I have completely lost track of time). The sensation of a blocked steam valve in my head was gone, I couldn’t believe it. Even the pulsing in the stomach stopped. I was amazed. I had been waking up in the wee hours of the morning for a few days prior to the reinstatement. I have continued on the 9.375mg dose twice a day since Saturday. On Sunday morning I woke up at 3am unable to get back to sleep, eventually getting up. It happened again on Monday morning although I managed to get back to sleep for the first time and had the best day I’ve had in a long time (until the late afternoon which I think was brought on by eating something with sugar and gluten, only thing that fits the pattern). Then this morning (Tuesday) I awoke after 1am and did not sleep properly again. Trying to sleep for that length of time this morning I became more aware of what was happening – as I was falling asleep (or perhaps the transition into REM sleep) there was a surge of something (adrenaline?) that would jolt me awake. It left me shaky (shaky all day) and jittery. I could feel it in my arms, as if it was an adrenal response to a fight situation. But I thought I was calm, possibly in a light sleep. It makes no sense to me. I feel completely lost. I thought I was at my wits end and had found a solution. I had hope on Saturday through to Monday that maybe I could stabilise on this low dose for a few months then think about coming off once I have all-round health back. I often feel a bit better later on at night, around 7pm, sometimes later although it’s not uniform. But now I am scared again. Terrified. The lack of appetite, undigested food and weight loss combined with the severe lack of sleep is only feeding anxiety that I am not going to live through this. I already had a fear of death. The body needs nutrients and needs sleep. You cannot survive without them. Almost everything else in my life that had caused the stress has been resolved (job, living situation, car). I still have the calf tear but I am getting treatment for that. My girlfriend and I are about to finally move into a new place this month, I have every reason to be happy but I cannot function when I have these physical symptoms and I’m so scared I’m not going to make it to live this new happy life. I’m sorry this is so long. I’ve tried to cover the medication in enough detail and the story of the symptoms. I don’t know what to do or what options I have. I am waiting on: - Results of a lyme disease test, in the next week - Results of a 24hr cortisol test, in the next week - Results of a hair test analysis on 20th July - A meeting with consultant at the hospital on 20th July (for the stomach and head problems) Maybe the current symptoms are the side effects of started on Venlafaxine. I did have a damaged sleep cycle when I started but back then I thought this was some sort of illness or a side effect of the beta blockers. Maybe I should try to ride this out for a few weeks, or will the lack of sleep and messed up digestive system finally take its toll on me?? Maybe I should increase the Venlafaxine dose to 18.75 twice a day? I don’t want to be on this medication at all but I need to stabilise if I ever want to come off it. Maybe I actually need it for the anxiety? (Although I wouldn’t be anxious if I didn’t have symptoms!) Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I feel so weak and utterly, utterly hopeless now.
  25. NegaNathan

    NegaNathan needs help

    hello, been reading up on this site and the topics of protracted withdrawal for a while now and am really really losing the will to live been in withdrawal since may of this year (2015) main problems being extreme anxiety and panic, major depression, complete loss of personality, brain fog, memory problems and social anxiety (completely different and much worse than i have ever been before medication or on medication) i have also been having to deal with a bad personal situation of a relationship break down and losing all my friends/support network and future i lost my job due to illness even while medicated and live back at home with my parents (i am 27) i have suicidal thoughts daily and it is very distressing i am seeking help from a therapist but i do not have any good days, i suffer everyday constantly and have lost all my coping mechanisms, literally all of them and don't get a break from this i feel worse and worse everyday and want nothing to do other than sleep i contemplate reinstating daily even though i am terrified of going back on these drugs again (citalopram 20 mgs) and that i have left it too long to reinstate but I am suffering so much.. i would not wish this on anyone my GP doesn't recognise withdrawal and im sure he would give me any medication i could ask for im just wondering if anyone has reinstated after a second time off medication for many months i have tried and am very familiar with supplements and excercise but have found this to have little relief other than curing brain zaps this looks like a wonderful community and i am in dire need for some hope and help thankyou
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