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I'm currently in a relationship of three and a half years, which has been the best of my life. My partner is incredibly loving and supportive, and despite being (rightly) sceptical about psychiatric drugs, has always supported my right to autonomy in determining what form of therapy is best for me. I couldn't ask for a better partner - the only caveat is that she currently lives in the US, while I am in the UK, so we are doing long-distance. But we communicate daily via text and have regular video calls, and I'm hoping to move out there later this year. More recently, my constant mood swings (which I believe are the result of SSRI 'poop-out,' as they closely resemble my previous w/d symptoms) have been putting a strain on our relationship. Because of the time difference, I'll sometimes stay up late at night talking to her, and this is when my thought patterns can be the most circular and detached from reality - when I'm the most prone to 'neuro-emotions.' I keep seeking reassurance from her about our relationship, which has always been rock solid, and this is clearly making her stressed and unhappy. I feel horrible and I keep promising myself I'll stop, but my brain keeps finding new ways of tricking me into doing it again. She takes everything I say very seriously, even if it's fairly nonsensical or flat-out contradicts things I've said before, and it can be difficult to convince her that my thoughts were 'just' neuro-emotions after the fact. Does anyone have tips for managing this side of things in a close relationship? Going into a taper I feel like the neuro-emotions will be an ongoing problem, and I'm afraid of losing my ability to be a reliable and emotionally supportive partner.
What do you do when the people closest to you don't understand what you are going through? Or how the things they ask of you affect you? My wife fluctuates between being totally loving and supportive, to just not understanding what I am dealing with at all. For instance, she just texted me now (I'm at work, which is a whole level of suffering during withdrawal all its own, as most of you know). She wants me to stop on my way home at her sister's house to pick up some leftovers. But my commute - which is long and can have heavy traffic if I don;t time it perfectly - is one of my key stress triggers. So making a variation in it is filling me with dread. My heart is starting to race! Also, what if her sister wants to engage in conversation? Conversation is another stress trigger for me! And after I disappear only 2 hours into the family Easter party (due to huge anxiety), she's probably full of questions (we haven't really told her what's going on). I don't get it. One minute, my wife is the most sympathetic person in the world, but then she gets tunnel vision and thinks I should just deal. I can't say no to getting the food, because that could trigger an argument - talk about stress then! So what do you guys do when you are faced with people not understanding what you are going through? Is there a video we can show them? SJ
RivkaE posted a topic in Introductions and updatesI am now in my seventh month of protracted withdrawal syndrome (I had to go cold turkey because of sub-acute serotonin syndrome --mostly parkinsonism and brain fog erupting into a lethal level of high blood pressure and analphylaxis -- new one!). I am now worse than I was last winter when I was bedridden. Biggest problems all center around my autonomic nervous system -- sleeping, eating, blood pressure, neuropathies, as well as a deep depression. Of course, I have had a lifetime of major depressive disorder -- but I really fought my way through it. I was fun, funny, and high achieving! I am now for the first time emotionally numb (can't even cry). For the past ten years I was depressed and on increasing doses of meds (why I am here) but got by (and actually excelled at some things, like my teaching) until I became ill. I am now on disability and can't imagine working again. I had been obsessed with suicide for several months. Can't do it -- I have a beautiful adult son and a loving husband. I also have a lovely home I now can barely leave. So the big question is, how do people experiencing this find hope, strength, things they can do, and and a life to live? I also feel so shunned -- by friends and even doctors! Have some great stalwarts by my side, but I really can't do much now. My life has turned into the couch for the most part I would so appreciate encouraging and kind words! (Silver lining -- my new appreciation for kind, good people!)