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  1. Hi there, So I've been lurking on here for the past few months, and some of the advice and reassurance I've been getting from reading threads here has really helped turn things around for me after a truly hellish time, so I wanted to lead with thanking you all for that. It's been nice just to not feel alone in all of this. Now, I'll get into some of my history. I started out taking 50 mg of sertraline after a deep depressive episode that I'd been trying and failing to fight through alone for years in about 2016. I took sertraline for a few years, and started having what brief blackouts for a few seconds or less. This was pointed out to me while I was driving with a family member, and ran a light that I hadn't even realised I'd gone past. After the sertraline struggles, I went on 75 mg of venlafaxine, which didn't really help my depression and I started to feel much worse mentally and really struggling with insomnia. In January of 2019, I was prescribed mirtazapine to help these symptoms, I started out on a low dose, and we later upped it to 30 mg. This helped greatly for years. I started sleeping fully, and gradually found some emotional stability, with maybe some minor side-effects, dry mouth, appetite fluctuations, morning grogginess, but that was about it. I still don't know if these two things are related or not, maybe I was just unlucky? However, in June of 2021, I was feeling extremely emotionally happy. But I started to notice tinnitus and a constant feeling of fullness and pain in my ears. I was prescribed a course of antibiotics, but they didn't really help. I later saw an ENT specialist who diagnosed me with eustachian tube dysfunction. A few months later, I started having a feeling of tightness in my chest, trouble breathing, irregular heartbeats, etc. A few ECG tests after a trip to my GP indicated I had pericarditis. After two weeks of ibuprofen, I was supposedly in the clear. And I was, for a little bit, but then I started having more chest pains, tightness, and palpitations again, along with frequent burping, abdominal discomfort, cycling between diarrhoea and severe constipation for several days at a time. I was also having a lot of vision problems (significantly increased floaters, particularly when I look at a bright or white light source, redness, dryness, and photosensitivity). A 72-hour ECG came back mostly clear, and doctors told me I probably had sinus arrhythmia, which is quite normal and usually completely asymptomatic. My blood pressure was normal too. I was put on omeprazole for acid reflux, which helped for a while, but I eventually ran out. Since my gastrointestinal symptoms had settled, I was told to just ride out the chest issues, and that they were likely anxiety. I tried this for a while, and then I started experiencing some other things, sudden leg and arm twitches, tremors, closed-eye hallucinations when sleeping, increased heart palpitations, neck stiffness, and headaches and tenderness at the back of my head. Having researched some of these symptoms to try and figure things out, I spoke to my doctor, who inspected me for signs of infection as a lot of these symptoms lined up, except for the closed-eye hallucinations and tremors. I was told there was nothing wrong. I brought up the potential of having an adverse reaction to the mirtazapine, and he recommended we wait a little longer. I came back a few weeks later with a lot of the same symptoms as well as sharp pain in my kidneys, increased urination at night, extreme anxiety and agitation, and a return of my gastrointestinal issues, whilst still having all of the other issues. I was given a prescription for a lowered dose of mirtazapine to 15 mg and told to taper over the course of a month. By now, it was December. I'd already started to try to improve my diet and improve some of my habits to manage my acid reflux after the pericarditis scare, no coffee (god, I miss it), no alcohol, much better eating habits, and daily exercise through brisk walking/jogging on the treadmill. This helped a little, but while exercising one night, I felt faint after only five minutes, and had severe chest pain, which hadn't happened before. I stopped and called my local hospital's non-emergency number and explained my symptoms and history. I was taken in via ambulance, inspected by paramedics and quickly examined. A brief ECG while I wasn't having palpitations and a blood test returned normal, so I was told something my chest pain and tenderness was "maybe something muscular" and released. I continued to take my lowered dose, and noticed an increase in whatever muscular chest pain I was having, an overall feeling of dullness throughout my body, increased tremors, acid reflux reaching my throat and causing vocal instability, temperature sensitivity, and a lot of brain fog. One night, I stayed up a little later than usual, and noticed that some of the brain fog and dullness eased significantly for a while. I took my dosage before bed and woke up the next day feeling as awful as I had before. I discussed this as a phone appointment with another doctor at my GP surgery, and was advised to stop the mirtazapine immediately without completing the taper. I did so, and felt significantly better for a few days. Then, I guess the withdrawal symptoms must have caught up with me, because a lot of the feelings I'd had returned with a vengeance. Although I stopped having the hallucinations, improved photosensitivity, tremors, full-body dullness, chest tightness, and brain fog, my acid reflux and indigestion got even worse, and I started having nerve pain, symptoms that seem to line up with peripheral neuropathy, constant gurgling in my legs, loss of appetite, extreme anxiety, heart palpitations that felt completely different to the previous ones, and a complete inability to sleep. After a few days of this, I had sharp chest pain after a sudden palpitation that radiated to my left arm. And then I started struggling to breathe. I returned to hospital, was inspected again, returned normal tests (although they had issues drawing blood from my arms), and was sent home again, being told that it was probably indigestion and my breathlessness was a result of a panic attack on the journey to hospital. After discussing my SSRI withdrawal, the hospital advised me to see my GP and restart omeprazole now that I'd been off my mirtazapine for a few days. It's been about a month since I was in the hospital there, and I can say with certainty that things are getting a lot better. I'm no longer having heart palpitations, my flank pain is mostly gone, I haven't had that full-body nerve pain for a while, my appetite's back, and my anxiety's at least manageable now, a lot of the peripheral neuropathy symptoms are improved, I'm sleeping for at least 4 hours on my worst nights, and I think my tinnitus is finally improving. I'm still suffering with increased urination at night, that gurgling sensation in my legs, irregular heartbeats/inconsistent heart rate, bradycardia, constant tiredness, acid reflux/indigestion (I'm on omeprazole again now, but I'm still having some symptoms), as well as some strange pains in my neck and back, mild muscular pains, a nasal drip and occasionally runny nose, an intermittent cough, and most recently a new kind of chest pain around my sternum that only seems to flare up occasionally (possibly costochondritis, or heartburn, but I'm medically undiagnosed at the moment so it's hard to say for sure). That's most of it, at least, there might be a few other minor things I'm forgetting or I don't think are related to withdrawal, but we're gradually unpicking all of these issues. As for things that have helped me, I'm taking a marine magnesium supplement every night that seems to really calm me and help me sleep, and prevent the nerve pain. I've also found that CBD oil or tea seems to help calm my anxiety and nerves during the day, a hot bath does absolute wonders, and the jogging was helping to stabilise my heart rate from some worrying inconsistencies into something manageable as well as calming some symptoms. It seems every week or few days or so, some old symptom goes away and a new one takes its place, and while I absolutely hate the uncertainty and constant change, things do seem to be getting better overall. That being said, I've felt pretty rough today, this new chest pain's been taking the wind out of my sails and got really bad after I used the treadmill yesterday, so I've decided to avoid that strenuous exercise until it settles. I've discussed it with my doctor and we're keeping an eye on it for now. Things still feel quite worrying and challenging, but nowhere near as terrifying as they used to be, for at least a solid month I had no idea what was going on, and I was convinced this all might kill me. The advice I've found here so far has really helped. I just wanted to share my story, provide some advice for anyone else who is still struggling, reassure anyone else out there that it does get better, and see if any more experienced people on this forum had any advice or similar experiences with the issues I'm still having. Thanks for reading and all the advice! Kairos
  2. Hi. New user here, on behalf of my (adult) son. His story is complicated! But I guess most here are. He took Remeron for about 5 years. (he has a form of Sleep Disordered Breathing - like sleep apnea - and Remeron helped with the related insomnia). Remeron suddenly - like, overnight - stopped working in December 2020, possibly because of a vertigo-inducing inner ear infection. Not only did Remeron no longer sedate him, it actually seemed to have a paradoxical effect. It was like a dose of adrenalin, but worse. (Would REALLY love to know what happened there, but primarily our interest now is in tapering off Remeron). So we've been cutting the Remeron, but I now fear that the terrible time he's having is because he's tapering way too fast. He went from an average of 30mg nightly (he'd take from 15-45 as needed), down to currently a quarter of a 7.5mg tablet (approx 2mg), all within three months. If all he were doing was giving up Remeron, I would be fairly certain it's withdrawal. However, the fact that the drug stopped working and began producing horrible side effects (dysphoria and a gross physical feeling) complicates it, as does his breathing disorder, which wakes him every night with severe feelings of respiratory distress. By the way, he also takes Effexor. But I still think some, maybe most, of what we're dealing with is withdrawal - for example, flu-like feelings, sweating, tingly skin, very dry mouth, even a slight gag reflex lately.
  3. Hi there, I've bolded my questions in my story for clarity. I started on mirtazapine 6 weeks ago at 15mg to help with sleep and anxiety from recently acquired tinnitus. It helped with sleep onset but I would still wake up and stay awake early on, perhaps it was getting me a couple extra hours a night overall. I have actually just started sleep restriction to try and fix my sleep waking up as I was feeling less anxious so there should be less reason for waking up like that. However 3 weeks ago I decided to stop it as I developed visual snow, I do notice that about half an hour after taking it I get flashes of light in my closed eyes as well. I went on 7.5 for two weeks then down to 3.75 the last week, then stopped Friday. I actually felt best overall the last week I was on 3.75, was noticing tinnitus less and felt more engaged with life. So clearly felt ok stopping. However two days after stopping I have started getting heart palpitations, more noticeable tinnitus, and gastro intestinal upset. Last night I felt so bad I took 3.75 again. I am wondering if I was on it such a short time it is worth it to tough out the withdrawal or go back on and taper? Am I just asking for a worse WD if I stay on longer? If I didn't have the visual snow I would still take it. I am hoping that my tinnitus was better due to the passage of time and not the remeron, and it is just feeling worse due to the withdrawal spike. I am also hoping that sleep gets better with the restriction therapy. For the visual snow is there a chance it could go away from stopping the remeron? It is possible it was triggered by insomnia and stress, and the remeron just impacts it, so I'm not sure. If the visual snow won't get better it makes stopping less attractive (I don't care about the flashing lights right after taking it as I go to sleep anyway). Is there a risk in it not working as well if I decide to tough out the WD, see if visual snow improves or tinnitus worsens, then restart? I am tempted to go back to 7.5, considering it's only been less than two weeks since I was on that dose, and hopefully feel as good as I did last week, I was on 3.75 last week (I felt the best right at the end of that), but it could be I was feeling the effects from when I was on 7.5 but delayed. Many thanks for the help! Regards, Andrew
  4. I seemed to have been getting better the first few months after stopping the Mirtazapine but for the last 11 months my symptoms have been getting worse. Vertigo, vision problems, DP/DR, headaches, etc. I've been functional throughout, keeping my job and normal life going but that is getting harder to do. My question is: Is it crazy to think about reinstating 15 months after stopping the drug?
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