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  1. Hello Im new here. Thank you for taking time to read this if you are. :) I have been on Mirt for only 12 days at 15 mg. Im looking to come off due to side effects, its just not suited for me. I was going to do 11.25 for 4 days, 7.5 for 4 days, 3.75 for 4 days, then off. Is that too quickly? I thought not since I have only been on it for 12 days at 15 mg. I appreciate everyones input and advice! :)
  2. Hi everyone, I am looking to restart cymbalta and hopefully get myself back to a stable place. I would love input. My doctor (psychiatrist) seems to think I could start with my previous dosage of 20mg, but after a horrendous experience trying to get back on celexa starting with just 5mg, I am VERY hesitant and don't want to go through anything like that again. Here is my history: ~12 years successfully on 20mg generic celexa --> successful switch over to ~2.5 years generic cymbalta --> slow-ish (I thought at the time) taper off over ~1.5 months (stopped 12/17) --> currently 8.5 months off and not doing well at all.7/2018 Tried to go back on generic celexa starting at 5 mg. Stuck it out for ~9 days, never made it up past 5mg. Had a terrible reaction to it. Dr thinks maybe because it was a different brand from the 10 years before. He questioned whether it was just my anxiety in reaction to it, but it was entirely too physical to be just my thinking-- Gripping panic, terror, crazy thoughts, felt possessed, arms and hands suddenly dead and heavy like they stopped working, immediate emotional numbness, genital numbness, inability to cry, appetite zapped gone (had to force every bite I ate for those 10 days, got down to my lowest weight ever, and not in a good way), unable to work or think straight, agitation, thought I would need to be hospitalized.8/2018 Tried Remeron. Wanted something that would not cause sexual side effects, so even though I had never taken it, dr recommended it. 7.5mg. First night bad restless legs. Got up to 15mg for ~2 weeks. Munchies. Slept. But neither in a nice way, more a zombie-ish way. Very tired and fatigued. Continued inability to think straight or work. Anxiety was sedated. Depression was sedated. More emotional numbness. Literally could not think. The depression did feel like it might have been starting to lift, but I needed to be able to think, and didn't want to keep experimenting with whether I could get to a dose that would not be so sedating, so I went down to 7.5mg/day then to 3.5 mg /day and have still been taking this just to try to stabilize. Having severe anxiety and depression though still.Currently experiencing: panic, depersonalization, depression, and for the first time in my life pretty severe anhedonia (pleasurable feelings and other emotions feel offline and physically inaccessible... including 'tools' I would use before: gratitude, feelings of spirituality, humor, warmth of relating).Looking to try reinstating generic cymbalta 9/2018.Doc suggested starting at 20mg, we agreed on 10mg (since I had such a strong reaction to attempt to restart celexa at 5mg). I would love to hear people's thoughts on slowly restarting cymbalta to try to get back to a stable place. I basically cannot go on in the panicked, anxious, depressed state that I am in. I have tried to white knuckle the panic the past months and it has only seemed to lead into a depression with anhedonia and my emotions shutting off in a way I have never experienced before and which is terrifying. Restarting at 10 mg cymbalta seems ok... and I'm looking to make sure it's the same brand as before... but I did have an intense bad reaction to just 5mg of celexa, so I think I might be very sensitive at this point. Also my Dr. recommended I stop the 3.5 mg remeron the same day I restart the cymbalta. Thoughts?
  3. Hello: I am here after a person on another forum (BenzoBuddies) alerted me to the existence of this one when I queried if anyone there had experience with tapering/eliminating Aripiprazole (Abilify). I am currently working on titrating down from the Clonazepam I have been taking. I have hopes of eliminating all the medications listed in my signature, in time. Once I have eliminated the Clonazepam, I would next like to work on the aripiprazole, then the Mirtazapine. I have only very occasionally used the alprazolam. So, I do not see that as a real hurdle. There is an erroneous date listed in my signature. It should be 2012. If someone could guide me in editing it, I would sure appreciate it. It was kind of a mystery just to create it. I hope to find some useful information and encouragement here. I did a big drop of the Clonazepam (50%) on September 19, as instructed by my doctor. Withdrawal symptoms were uncomfortable, but not terrible. Days 1-3 met me with needing a bit more time falling asleep. Days 15-21 met me with some irritability, headache (most days), one night of insomnia, a few days of mild depression and some free-floating anxiety. Day 22 and onward, the aforementioned symptoms were gone and I was feeling better than what was my normal self. I am glad for this. After reading a lot of information (Professor Ashton's manual & on the BenzoBuddies forum), I decided to continue with reducing the Clonazepam at a rate of 25% every 14 days. Yes, I know it is more than recommended (5-10%), but I believe I am capable of proceeding at this rate and take comfort in the fact that I can always adjust my dosing, if needed. My dose tonight will be ~.4700. When I began taking the medications (in 2001), I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder (without psychotic symptoms). I did spend some time in a psychiatric hospital (~3.5 weeks), during which time several different medications were tried/thrown at me. I don't remember all of them (prozac & paxil, are two that were tried...). I did not take any but the Clonazepam longer than a few days/weeks. Oh, except lamictal. I took that for about 6 months (in 2001). Almost forgot about that one. A couple other antidepressants were tried just before I began taking the Mirtazapine in 2010: Effexor, Celexa and Trazadone. They all made me feel loopy, so I rejected them. Sleep is what I needed and the Mirtazapine helped to deliver that. The Abilify was a depression add-on which did seem to give me an overall improved affect/mood. Since 2001, I have remained steadfastly committed to and deeply engaged in an in-depth therapeutic relationship (with a couple practitioners). As a result, I have achieved a complete psychological, emotional and spiritual make-over. Over the course of the past couple years, I have questioned if I really have a need to continue taking the medications, for I simply am not the same person I was 17 years, 10 years, 5 years or even 1 year ago. It is my deep hope and desire that I will eliminate the medications. It will be very nice to see who I am today, without the medications. That's my history, in a nutshell. Cleerity
  4. I have been taking Trazadone since January 2014. I started with .75 Traz and have been slowly tapering the past six months. I am now down to .38 Traz after making a cut 2 nights ago from .45 Traz.. I take it at night to sleep along with 7.5 Remeron. I have been doing well with sleeping on the .45 which I have been holding the past 2 months. Last night my sleep was very light and fitful after the cut. I doubt I got that much sleep. Also, this October I will be on year off Ambien 10 mg. I am looking for some encouragement from folks who have been down this road before with Trazadone. Any success stories out there? How did you feel along the way with tapering? How was your sleep? How did you feel one week off Traz, three weeks off, a month off?
  5. Hello, I am a 50 year old woman with a history of depression. Here is my story and it is a long one, be warned - if you aren't in the mood for a long history, skip this now LOL! I'm one of those people whose family relations have also had histories of depression, and depression became an issue for me from maybe 10 years old and up, though no one really recognized it. I became bulimic at 16 and remained so for much of my adult life until about eight years ago. My adult-hood has been one of perfectionism, low self-esteem and under-performing, with all the self-hatred that that generates. My first experience with medication came after a rough relationship where I ended up feeling suicidal. I was put on Prozac. I think back to that being the beginning of the rest of my adulthood with virtually no libido. A major move after marriage led me to more depression, and at that time Wellbutrin was being marketed heavily, so I asked my GP to put me on it. No tapering of the Prozac, if I recall. Wellbutrin didn't work, but now I realize it was probably in part because I was having withdrawal from the Prozac - not sure and I don't have a lot of memories about that period one way or another. I forget if I continued the Wellbutrin up to the next change, but I had gotten the flu which turned into pneumonia for a month, and when I went to the doctor after that long of not getting better, he said "you are depressed." Well, yes, I said, I am depressed because of being sick this long! And he said, No, you are clearly a generally depressed person and you should see a p-doc. So, I did, and that doc put me on Effexor. This was somewhere back around 11 years ago. I upped the dose as they directed. I never felt like my depression was well-controlled because none of the therapy I had over the years was CBT - talk therapy would make me feel better for the moment but no change took place, so the low self-esteem and negative thinking remained. I guess the Effexor somehow made my life more tolerable, but I never felt happy or satisfied with myself. Somewhere along the line I began to taper down on the Effexor, and I have very few memories of when, how or why, other than that I hated needing ADs, and my libido sucked. A move and the loss of an old dog sent me into another bad depression, but this well could have coincided with stepping down the Effexor. Three years ago, I lost my job, and then my husband lost his, but then he got a new one which required relocating to a very hot climate where we were able to afford a home with acreage, the first time we were ever able to own, but it was very rural and the isolation quickly got to me, with anxiety increasing for various reasons. Again, I don't remember the stepping down process, but two years ago a new GP refilled my Effexor but prescribed the non-extended release version. Since these tablets were able to be broken, I began taking just half (37.5 mg). Last summer I had a bought of shingles and became very depressed and stressed again from the pain. I also was clearly in menopause and having severe hot flashes. My whole adult life had been marred by low libido since going on Prozac way back when, and the shingles were actually on my private parts (tested positive for zoster, not herpes) and I became very concerned that I didn't want the rest of my life to be joyless where sex was concerned, so I decided to go off BCPs and Effexor. In hind sight, that was madness! I stepped down the Effexor, going to every other day with the 37.5 mg. I wasn't aware of any severe symptoms, and this was last summer. Well, meanwhile, I was going through some stresses regarding a health crisis with one of my dogs. I found myself totally scatter-brained, forgetful, unable to concentrate, and also I had trouble articulating myself, unable to complete thoughts when talking with people, words hard to reach. A friend told me he always thought I was ADD, and indeed at this time I was losing things, forgetting what I was doing halfway through doing it, easily distracted, etc. I'm also a total clutter-bug who can't face doing the dishes or cleaning the house, though I've been that way for years. I had started taking Sam-e and tryptophan as a way to up serotonin. I was having a terrible time with insomnia. So, I went to get tested for ADD. I tested negative, but the psychologist doing the testing said I didn't have ADD, but that I did have OCD, depression, and GAD. He said, the good news is that there are medications that can make you "normal!" I bit, and went to a p-doc on a list he gave me. She put me on Viibryd. I stopped the serotonergic supplements. The first week at 10 mg was ok, but when I went up to 20 mg as instructed, all hell broke loose! My insomnia worsened, with the most severe anxiety I think I had ever experienced! All night I was thrashing around with racing, troubling thoughts. During the day, I would have squirts of adrenalin for no reason. I had days where I was so distressed and troubled, I couldn't stand to exist. I had global anxiety about climate change, getting old, my parents getting old losing them some day, the drought and how horrible life was! I have never experienced anxiety like that in my life! I stepped the Viibryd back down to 10 mg for about a week and then stopped it, and went back on the supplements. This time I was trying to follow the supplement plan laid out in the Mood Cure, adding GABA and some other stuff. I'd do ok for awhile, but the insomnia was still bad, and the general feeling of being ill-at-ease was so disturbing, I just couldn't stand it. So, I stopped the supplements and started taking 37.5 mg of Effexor again. After three days, I was in serotonin syndrome almost to the point of having to go to the ER! I stopped the Effexor and got an appointment with another p-doc who is a DO and actually not into psych meds. He said I'd been through about 3 years' worth of med changes in a very short period of time and that my nerves were very sensitive and that I needed consistency. He went through the meds and supplements I had a history with, and told me which supplements were safe to take (non-serotonergic). Since I had not been able to eat and lost weight, and the insomnia was so bad, he put me on Remeron, saying it was a very gentle med that worked on a different part of the serotonin pathway, and that it would help with sleep and appetite. He started me on 7.5 mg and said I could step it up as needed, that it was safe up to 60 mg. Well, I felt much better and it was nice to sleep all through the night without anxiety again. Yeah! But after a week, I was feeling down again so started upping the dose. Two weeks later I was at 37.5 mg, feeling totally apathetic and on the couch, unable to do anything I had previously enjoyed in life. I couldn't understand why the med wasn't working anymore! I was in a desperate way and called this p-doc's assistant, the fastest way to get to him, he said. I left four messages and never heard back! I suffered through to my next scheduled appointment with him two weeks later, and suffering it was! My family members were greatly concerned. The only thing that kept me going through this spell was the fact that a therapist I had recently seen told me about Emotional Brain Training, which I joined. It was developed by Laurel Mellin at UCSF and is based on neuroplasticity and rewiring the brain. It was perfect for me because I lived in the country, was isolated, and the city is 40 minutes away, so I was able to get support from home with weekly phone-in meetings with a coach and group members, daily work online, and daily phone-connections with group members. I am not hawking this, but if you want to learn more about it, go to www.ebt.org. Anyway, EBT kept me from going down the tubes through all of this. When I saw my p-doc, he said "let's add Effexor back to the remeron since you tolerated it well in the past." I started on 37.5 mg. The day I took it, I was having a non-functional couch day, and I would say within an hour of taking it, my mood lifted, like a light switch had been flipped! It was miraculous! Now, everyone knows that ADs are supposed to take weeks to start working. I now realize that the reason it worked so fast was because I was in withdrawal and it was like a junkie getting a hit of the drug they are withdrawing from - instant fix! Ok, I know my story is long but the final chapter is here: I added the Effexor back about 12 days ago. I actually had one day, about a week into it, where I was on the couch again. The next day, I saw a third p-doc my therapist said I should see since I had such a bad experience with the last guy's non-responsiveness when I left those messages. So, I saw this new guy on Wednesday. I didn't yet realize that all of the craziness I had endured since last fall was because of the withdrawal. I was convinced that genetically, I just had to be on ADs, that I had relapsed in a big way. I did think that the Viibryd had damaged me, since I had never experienced anxiety to that degree before, nor had I had depression this debilitating. This new guy said, "let's stick with this for now, since you haven't been on the Effexor long enough to see how it will work for you, but I want to up it to 75 mg (thanks to that couch day). We may end up changing you to other meds, but let's see how this goes for now." So, I began taking 75 mg Effexor ER on Thursday. It just so happens that one of my EBT connection buddies is going through withdrawal from ADs that she was put on for post-partum depression 8 years ago. She told me about this, and referred me to a neat video about neuroplasticity on beyondmeds.com. Her point in doing so was to point out about how EBT is so dead-on about retraining the brain, but in fact I had locked on to concept of withdrawal, and I began to realize that this was so much of what I had and am still going through, and this is why the Effexor worked immediately! So, I am faced with the fact that I am now back on the drug that I was hooked on. For now, I need to be consistent and not change anything, though I am going back to 37.5 mg Effexor since I'd only been on the higher dose for a couple of days. I will ride this out until my next appointment with the p-doc in five weeks. I am worried that he will be one to poo-poo withdrawal. I feel like, for the first time in my life, I am getting the cognitive help I need to eliminate the poor self-esteem and my negative black and white thinking that has ruined my life and got me started on ADs to begin with. I feel this will be critical to getting off these drugs some day. I feel so grateful to the universe for bringing me together with my connection buddy who brought this all to light for me. And beyondmeds.com brought me here.
  6. Muddles

    Muddles: desperate

    Hi there! Need a bit of advice. My father passed away Christmas Eve :-( I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for 4 years. Since my father passed I have been experiencing a lot of strange & worrying stuff which I can only explain as withdrawal symptoms from mirtazapine. Depression - severe, insomnia, mind chatter, body buzzing, twitches, jerks of legs/arms, panick attack, anxiety etc. I went to see my doctor as my friends and family are concerned. She wants me to up my dose but am not sure i should do it. Could it make things worse? I feel upping may cause more problems. I felt sooo depressed this morning and slowly withdrawing from everybody...scared! Thanks in advance.
  7. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  8. Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.
  9. My first post here... I have been taking Remeron (Mirtazapine) for 16 years. I tried to come off of it in October, but I weaned too fast and have had problems ever since. I tried to taper off of 15 mg. I ignored my doctor's fast tapering plan and tapered from 15 mg. to 10 mg. The first part of the month was fine, but then a delayed withdrawal hit with horrible symptoms including insomnia. At that point I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night. I reinstated so that I could continue to work... back to 15 mg. In hindsight I realized now I shouldn't have been changing doses so fast. After having reinstated now for about a month, I am still waking up every night in the middle of the night wired! Why??? Could I still be having withdrawal symptoms even after I've been back to my original dose that I was sleeping well on? I want to try to withdraw again, even slower but I don't know how I'll do this if my sleep is already so poor! Thank you!!!
  10. I’m new to this website/forum, but I’ve been researching and finding great information about people getting off their psychiatric medication. I’m 46, and I was 20 years old in college when I experienced my first full blown panic attack (official diagnosis, panic disorder without agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, depression). Looking back (after lots of therapy), I can now understand the stress I was under at that time. But the main point is that I was put on zoloft and lorazepam which, combined with lots of “social drinking” seemed to put a lockdown on the panic attacks (though I would still wake up with some varying degrees of anxiety most mornings). I put my head down and just sort of pushed my way through life, graduating from college with honors, holding a job doing community education / organizing / speaking, shifting gears and going back to school, and then starting my own successful business. Jump to about 4 years ago, 2012 and things just seemed to begin falling apart. The successful company I had created was now failing, a relationship I actually felt invested in was failing, and the hangovers from drinking had become really intense. In short, I ran out of steam. I gave up drinking in the spring of 2014, and that summer decided I was going to get off the damn meds. I did it the “right way,” tapering off the benzos first, and then the SSRI. And though the anxiety would increase while tapering and it was tough, by the end of the summer (early September) I was actually med free! Unfortunately, mid-October the panic attacks returned full force. Again, I can see now that this was a particularly stressful period of my life, but of course I was really disappointed when I decided I just had to get back on the meds (the panic attacks were relentless and excruciating). The problem was that the meds no longer seemed to work like they did before. And now I’m on MORE meds (add in remeron and extra 50 mg of zoloft). I have made some changes, doing lots of therapy, ACA support groups (and looking at childhood issues generally), exercising again regularly, EMDR, meditation, etc. And I want OFF the meds! I know I need to do this slowly, and at this point, I cut the remeron from 15 mg to 7.5 (about 1.5 months ago) and I’ve cut the benzo (now clonazepam) from 2 mg to 1.5 per day (just started that 3 days ago). My thought is to cut the benzos first, then the last of the remeron. I know with the relatively long half-life of the clonazepam, I need to take it slowly. I’m thinking .5 mg every 2 weeks. From the information I've come across, it seems like some taper off even more slowly than that? I'm looking for others to share their experiences with their own clonazepam withdrawal schedules (for panic disorder, preferably). I just don’t know what to do about the SSRI (zoloft). I realize this website is about benzo withdrawal, but I’m hoping to find others with experience on panic disorder and SSRI withdrawal too (as well as benzo withdrawal support). I hope this is OK on this forum? I’ve been “working with the anxiety” (trying to “make friends” with it as they say in the meditation circles). I know I’m less scared of it now, but I'm also not experiencing the full blown panic attacks. My concern is that I would get off everything (including the SSRI/zoloft) and then the panic attacks return, and it takes SO LONG for the SSRI to build up in one’s system. Do I just prepare myself to weather that storm? Will that storm really pass eventually without the meds? After years of trying to make my physiology match the lifestyle I felt I should lead, I’m now accepting the idea that I need to make my lifestyle match my physiology. The panic attacks are just so damn awful when they hit relentlessly all day long, day after day. I’m scared. Is there anyone out there that has had any experience with the meds and panic attacks along the lines that I have had? Are there other resources out there I should know about? Is it really possible that I can live a purposeful (and perhaps at least semi-peaceful) life without meds after 25 years of being on them? Much gratitude . . .
  11. Hello SA members, I am new here. Before June 2017 I was taking Lexapro/60mg and Lithium/600mg, I stopped cold turkey, did well for 2 months but ended up going to the ER for insomnia, was sleeping less than 2 hrs. at night. I didn’t know anything about withdrawals weeks ago; the doctors don’t talk about it, they just want to put you on something. I spent 10 days in the Psych ward in Sept/2017, they started me on Remeron 15mg and Effexor 37.5/75/112.5/150mg, after I left the hospital my psychiatric increased to Remeron 45mg and Effexor ER 150mg. Since I started Effexor ER 150 noticed hyperactivity episodes, so the Dr. decreased to 112.5mg and I have been trying to stay on 75mg I want to start to taper them and when I stop my final doses I want to replace them with supplements and vitamins. It's been only a month since I started taking Remeron and Effexor. I am scared and confused of what to do and how to do it. Please help.
  12. *Symptoms are in BOLD font, the other things are just my story. I have quit Remeron since 64 days now (quit it abruptly), i am not so sure if these symptoms i am facing are due to my withdrawal. and i really need help with that! so if you think these symptoms are familiar please let me know. my life is a nightmare right now, and only yesterday i realized that this craziness that i am living in is maybe because of the medication. i used to fight my ego for (as i thought it was the reason for all of this) i thought that i was over demanding and needy. but no man, i can't be demanding these very basic things that are absolutely have no link with consumption. i am a very thoughtful guy, a bookish person, very honest with myself, i don't just blame something for being the reason of my shity life. but now my concentration is zero, like a maniac anything that is moving around me grabs my concentration immediately. i used to be very chill and calm ( i am still for everybody else, but from the inside it's just torture) but at this stage, i am pretty confident that this is just not normal. my symptoms are as follow: I have had an emotional shock before quieting, it made me less concentrated, and at that stage remeron was not doing a good job as it used to be. i made a trip for 1 month and i quit it during that trip. after i got back, things started to get so bad. i am literally fearful of light, i just turn off the lights and sleep by myself wishing that no body would come in. fearful of my own family, meeting someone by chance. it's not like normal fear, it's just my heart starts beating so fast that i am paralyzed and can't do anything. i am absolutely disconnected from reality, i don't have any logical thinking (i find it hard to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong), ideas cannot be linked together in anyway. i would be thinking about something and an another totally different idea just swipe me with it (like a hallucination, it grabs my attention and just hold on it) - severe depression (even though the feeling of depression is not a problem anymore comparing it to these other things), i am totally fine with depression, but not having a sense of reality is just something that i don't think anyone could handle, i just can't think because my mind keeps jumping with other useless stuff. i think i have a digestive problems, dry mouth, cramps (especially when i sleep). - social anxiety, with the same type of fear. - raceful and self harm thoughts , suicidal thoughts - sometimes hallucinations (i see dark objects on the floor, that do not exist) - excessive sexual desire - stiff muscles all the time, even when i wake up i feel tired as if i was running or smth (i forgot what the concept "relaxation" even means) - i have a problem waking up in the morning, with a very very bad depression (i hated the sun (light) for this reason). are these a symptoms of withdrawing? or am i having a rough days? and if it is, for how long would it take? is it better to keep going cold turkey? (i don't have any problem with it, i can handle it) but i don't know does it have any dangerous results (medically speaking)? Thank you ❤️
  13. I am so glad that I came across this forum! I feel like crying when reading peoples stories and their struggle with coming off the antidepressants! I was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and Depression which I have been suffering for years! Mainly anxiety and panic disorder! I am otherwise healthy. Zoloft caused PGAD that has caused me so much anguish, I feel like I am living in a nightmare! I only took Zoloft for 3 days 25mg and this happened to me! I wanted to and still have thoughts of suicide! I felt that I was some kind of a freak and pervert! It has been 4 weeks and things have improved but not completely gone! I constantly feel burning sensation, and tingles that drive me crazy! I can deal with the burning sensations but tingles I can not stand! I got better then I took a herbal supplement for anxiety and it has come back today! I am taking fish oil supplement and I wonder if I am now sensitive to fish oil too??? Should I stop or cut back on fish oil? I just don't know what to take anymore! I never could imagine that this could happen to me as I was not aware! The doctor did not mention anything so I had no idea! I am naturally a slim person and my only worry at the time was if I was going to gain weight while on antidepressants, and my doctor reassured me "Very Unlikely". I took her word for it and I took the medication. In did not want to deal with, anxiety, depression and plus weight issues as a result of antidepressants! I told my doctor what happened to me and like many others have reported "she has never heard of it". That made me feel so humiliated and embarrassed. The point is that the doctors are not educated in regards to this issue. I recently went back to her and told her that I am still experiencing issued down below, burning sensation ever since Zoloft and she said that it is a coincidence! I am sick of doctors, they are full of ****! You tell them one thing and they turn it around! I just prey this eventually goes away and settles down! If this does not settle down I would consider removing sensitive part of my anatomy! I hate it! I can't stand it! How is everyone else coping with this? What have you found that helps? I have not felt peaceful down below for the last 4 weeks! I have never heard of this condition prior to taking antidepressants. Please help, Thank you.
  14. Hi I'm new here although I have been lurking for a couple months. Long story short, I ended up on Remeron this past February after my brain went 'tilt' and I went into a severe depression brought about by severe insomnia brought about by my body going into perimenopause. I am one of the ones who truly needed medication and I am fortunate that the first med they put me on was successful in curbing the depression. But I've put on over 30 lbs and I am tired of not feeling 'myself' and having no motivation. I started tapering in October. I am now down to 24 mg of Remeron. The only W/D symptoms I've had so far was, twice I was woken up from a sound sleep from early morning cortisol surges. I am doing the 10% of your last dose method that I found on this forum. Only problem is that my scale goes down only to .01 grams instead of .001 grams. I'm hoping my taper goes well enough that I won't need to purchase another scale but I will if it becomes necessary. Today is the first time I feel more 'normal' than I ever have since this whole ordeal started. I actually baked some pumpkin bread. And I actually feel like doing some house cleaning - something that has gone by the wayside since this past February. So I thought I'd post here that way I can kinda keep track and have an anonymous journal of sorts. Thanks to those who have contributed all of the valuable information in this forum. I wouldn't have felt comfortable starting a taper without it. I probably would have asked my Dr. who most likely would have had me taper much too fast.
  15. hey, i have been experiencing some really bad distress lately. i was put on lexapro 10mg in april 2017 for depression at 18 years old. after one month i experienced the all familiar sexual dysfunction, but since it seemed to give me some relief, i continued to take it, as this was also a stressfull part of my life, with exams during my final school year. after 6-7 months on lexapro i decided i have had enough and quit the medication cold turkey. my immediate withdrawals werent so bad. i felt a sense of light headedness during the day which only lasted about 2 seconds each time, paired with restlessness. it lasted for about a month until it was over. i got on remeron 2 months later and only stayed on it for about 2,5 months before i tapered it over a period of 4 weeks with no symptoms really. now its close to over 8 months since i quit lexapro and i still have some form of sexual function. i cant get erect through thoughts and images, and need physical stimulation either by me or my girlfriend. when im erect i also have very little senseitvity in my penis. at best its a slight ticklish feeling on the penis head. my erections are sometimes hard, but also vanish quickly, though i have had some recent success with the use of cockrings for harder and long lasting erections. my other major symptom is emotional numbness. at the moment i can feel anxiety, sadness through periods of crying, which mostly is triggered by the thought that this is gonna be permanent, and i will never have a fucntion body and brain again. i can still laugh and smile, but it all feels sort of fake and artifical. i havent experienced joy that could be with my for days and get me through several days at the time since i started this medication. the feelings of happiness i get is only in my thoughts, as in i know i should be happy about something, but i dont feel it in my body, just my mind, i dont get a body high from emotions to put it another way. after i started meditating during my remeron taper was about the same time i started seeing my current gf, and i could feel some form of sexual energy going through me parts of the day, and during meditation. it didnt even have to be fully sexual, just her sitting on my lap or w/e, and i would start to get horny and get a small erection going for a bit. it calmed me down in the moment because i already knew about pssd and feared the worst, however that has since dissappered, and hasnt returned for a couple of months. im really looking for answers as my GP and psychiatrist dont believe this really exist, or it is a result of depression. i know for a fact i am not depressed, becuase i rememeber the day i woke up with depression as a day with a gray feeling in chest, sort of where i would get that infaction feel when you crush on someone. that feeling is not present now, and i feel that its just the emotions lacking at this point. for my symptoms i just did a bloodcheck for hormones like test to see if those are the causes for genital numbness, but i doubt it. im writing this short story because im really getting worried that my life will never be like it used to. i will never experience happiness from talking to someone or seeing them again, i will never feel pleasure from sex, which has been pretty barren since i got together with my gf, we only managed it two times. im either not erect enough or losing it just as im inserting the penis, but my psychiatrist says its just mental, which it might very well be to a certain extent. im honestly just looking for some reassurense from someone that this will be over at some point. im hoping it wont 3-5 years like many success stories i read, but if thats the case, so be it. im will be happy if i will get back to normal at some point before my mid to late twenties, becasue i honestly dont think i can go on like this forever, this is just torture. the worst and most raging part about my AD journey was that my doctor assured me that lexapro was "neutral" in his word, and side effects were minor, and i took it because of me being in a vunerable posistion and needing some relief, but now i think im in this for the long run, or the rest of my life, but thats not really an option. i just feel tricked and scammed down to the worst level, even tho i can barely feel anything, i can feel so much anger towards that GP. i dont know how this story reads, because english isnt my native language, but im just looking if anyone can tell me this will be okay and that in years i can write my complete success story, though i dont know what to expect in the coming months or years. please excuse any silly mistakes, this was written in a hurry and i just want some feedback to hopefully calm my mind.
  16. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals
  17. I want to get off Saphris. I was taking 2.5 mg and tried to taper it down over the course of four months, went with three-quarter to one half to one quarter. Became suicidal and so anxious that I almost had several panic attacks. Was manic, and I'm not bipolar. Felt pressure to do things, mostly react with extreme emotions. Went back up to one. Now want to taper down and desperately want to get off of this hellish drug. I also take lamictal (300 mg), Viibryd (40 mg), and Mirtazipine (7.5 mg). I want off of all of them and am horrified at how long it is going to take me. I so want to hurry my taper. I also just quit drinking, after tapering down on alcohol over the course of a week. I've been an alcoholic for years. I am now, today, two days sober. I am going to remain sober. My diagnosis is Depression and Generalized Anxiety disorder. One thing I've noticed is that I have so much rage over the doctors who put me on all of these meds - they just kept shoving more and more meds at me, and never told me about the scary side effects. I want to sue one in particular. The other thing I've noted is that I just hate myself for letting them put me on the meds. My mother said, when she learned of all that I am on: You dropped the ball! She was horrified, and rightly so. I am horrified at myself. Like I said, I hate myself for letting this happen. So mad for ruining my life. So there's this rage and horror at the doctor and at myself. There is also this manic anxiety and decision making problems for myself, problems that I worsen by my anxious reactions. I've been back on a whole dose for a while, but every few days I get scared, and try to take only 75% of a dose. It's not really working out for me. For the last two days, I have felt very suicidal. It's nuts. This is not me. I don't know what to do. That's why I've come here. I am desperate, and very, very afraid. I hope that I've done this intro thread right...
  18. Hi, I'm new. Here is a synopsis of my past meds and current issues. Zoloft twice in past, worked once, other gave anxiety. No WD. Then, in May 2014, had tried Paxil for a couple days and didn't like. Used Elavil off-label from neuro for pain. Pain wasn't stopping and felt SI, which I thought came from Elavil. Told clinic and ended up in psych ward (no help from neuro) for SI because of Elavil. In psych ward, doc there said I had created my own pain (I had been working with sore muscles and chiropractor visit with pain that night) because of my divorce. Put me on Risperdal about 1 mg I think, Prozac 20 or 40 mg, Klonopin 0.75 maybe, and a sleep pill a couple nights in the hospital. Also naproxen sodium 550 mg maybe once or twice a day. So, after hospital started to decrease Klonopin and Risperdal when I figured out they were supposed to be as needed, but after a month or so, my body needed them. Was getting symptoms and no help. Ended up back in hospital in July 2015 where they tried to CT the Klonopin. Was there 14 days. Doc said I was neurotic and wanted to increase Risperdal. I left there still on Rispderal about 1 mg, Librium 25 mg to replace Klonopin, and Prozac 40 mg. I tapered off Risperdal by November 2014, Librium by February 2015 where I jumped off the last 5 mg, and I did not keep track of when I got off the last 20 mg of Prozac but probably sometime in April 2015. Looking back, my anxiety started increasing in May 2015, usually more around my period. Had lots of stressors anyway. Then, in July 2015 had some neck pain and was on Flexeril a short while (had tried Tramadol like twice and hydrocodone once). Had a major stressor. Went off Flexeril. Ended up with insomnia and nausea, I think related to Flexeril. Tried Prozac for 1 day at 5 mg in September 2015, and that sent me up the wall. Panic and anxiety worse. Went on Buspar for about 2-3 weeks. That didn't really help much and gave me chest pain and migraines. Insomnia still bad. Tried Ambien a couple days but was afraid of it and went on mirtazapine, big mistake but needed sleep and was having SI. Started mirtazapine 10/9/15 at 15 mg, next day 7.5 mg and for a few days. Caused brain fog, a lot of agitation and anxiety. Was sleeping. Scared. Called doc, who said I could go off, but after 2 weeks was afraid to jump off dose. Started cutting dose every day and got down to 5.8 mg and held until saw doc. Said to stay on, seemed to help. I tried to cut from 5.8 to 5.7 this last week and a half and had some major anxiety symptoms and headache. Now I don't want on at all and don't know what to do. Only been on for a little over a month but scared. Don't know what else to use for sleep. I have a scale to weigh but I know even when it says 5.7 mg every night that can still have some variance because of the small amounts of pill I scrape off. I also tried Ativan for a week about 2 weeks ago. It was horrible. Worked when I took it, but the rebound anxiety was awful. I had to take every day for a week, slowly lowering the dose. I just can't take it prn. It gives me severe rebound anxiety. My family says I am dysfunctionally obsessed with medication. That may be the case, but I seem to be hypersensitive to meds and worse lately. I am having some sensitivity to light and sound and touch. Vision blurry and off in low lighting. Having trouble concentrating. At least no more brain fog from mirtazapine but have headaches almost every single day. I have only been on it a month, but I am scared best way to reduce. I know WD symptoms can take 2-3 weeks to hit. I am waiting to see what will happen next week (third week of reduction from 5.8 to 5.7). AT this rate it will take me forever to get off a med I only started 1 month ago. I have read of some using valium to help with WD symptoms but am scared. Still, I need to function. I'm supposed to be getting a job but how do I work with severe anxiety, agitation, and etc. from small drops in med. I have some valium but haven't tried it yet to see how I react to it. I am scared of these meds but don't know if I can manage the depression/anxiety that came about this time without something. Could maybe go back on Prozac but so hypersensitive right now and need to get off mirtazapine. I am not sure best thing to do. I read on here that some of these programs that help with supplements aren't that safe. I found that now I cannot take vitamin C or vitamin D without increased anxiety/agitation. Even my progesterone cream does that unless I take it at night. I don't know what is going on. I'm worried my vitamin D will get too low because of the mirtazapine if I cannot supplement. I don't know what I will do for sleep going off the mirtazapine. I went on it for new insomnia (hadn't had problems sleeping since I was a kid and very anxious), and also worse anxiety and depression.
  19. Hi everyone, I’ve been on a mess of medications since I was prescribed propranolol for panic attacks last November, stopped them and was put on Sertaline, couldn’t tolerate it so stopped after two weeks, then Prozac with the same results plus tinnitus! Eventually began with Mirtazepine 6 weeks ago, and after initially feeling ok I really want to get off them, I feel very unlike myself and it’s horrible. I get some days or hours where everything seems completely normal, but mostly it’s making my anxiety worse. Any advice on tapering would be greatly appreciated.
  20. Starboy17

    Starboy17

    took 1mg finasteride for near 8years albeit, I did take breaks, additionally I lowered the dose and only took it couple times a week, this is known as a maintenance dose. However just over a year ago I decided to take a generic versions of propecia and like a shot of lightening I then noticed mood swings, moments of crying spells, it took a couple months to realise that it wasn't university studies and a personal fallout with a friend (although I bet it contributed) however it wasn't until I completely stopped taking finasteride that I experienced insomnia for the first time in my life! I kept having panic attacks after being asleep for two hours I would wake up gasping for air, I also had close to 15 panic attacks during the day, followed by general anxiety disorder, and a feeling of dread that was unlike anything I've ever experienced, that seemed unbaiting I would have to say hands down it was the worst mental breakdown of my life this lasted for at minimum of three months and progressively got worse. To complicate matters I quit dexamphetamine 30mg a year earlier as I had been naughty on it as I only took it whenever I felt like it for over 3.5 -4yrs unfortunately I have ADHD and still do as an adult, yay lucky me! I also loved alcohol, was often considered the life of the party,(not my own assessment) however I have since decided that I self medicated with it and it only compounded my already fragile mental health, so I'm no longer drinking at all. I discussed the mood swings etc with my GP in Sydney Australia and was given Lexapro tablet (can't recall the dosage) the morning I felt great, by afternoon a sense of dread crept up on me followed by suicide ideation, whilst driving with my partner down the motorway I had intrusive thoughts about crashing my car, anyone who knows me, would agree that is the polar opposite of my personality, in the end I had no choice but to go to emergency the next day after I couldn't sleep and explain my symptoms, I was given 10mg Valium which did nothing except have a paradoxical effect, I felt more lively instead of relaxed I was later discharged and given 30mg of mirtazapine, I'm a small bloke 65kg but Wow that knocked right out of the water. Since April 2016 I've been stuck on mirtazapine. Through the haze that is my mirtazapine experience I knew that the dosage was far too high for me and regularly checked in with my GP and advised him, I've never been on an antidepressant before, only dexamphetime, I told the Dr there's no way i'm taking 30mg of mirtazpine!, he agreed to and I lowered the dose to 15mg although this was still sedating throughout the day along with memory issues, which I never had experienced in my whole life, I've always been a remarkable person for memory so that was really scary for me, eventually I started my own research, why not I'm a tertiary student, thank God I found this site and Dr Joseph Glenmullens book! I even had to take a semester off study and reduced to part time. Guess that law degree can wait. I'm currently on 2.8mg of mirtazapine and can't wait to be off this, however through painful experience the withdrawals are debilitating and that's putting it kindly, I saw a Psychiatrist last month and he mentioned that I must be ultra sensitive, I'm reminding myself regularly that I'm strong and that every day i'm healing and everyday I'm getting stronger. I'm not one for mantra's but this does actually help Sorry Alto if I raved on or if I didn't put this post in the right place, I've been reading and following your advice for months, quite studiously I will add and been wanting to post my experience so badly but have been so incapacitated by all that I've experienced over the last year. So days I feel I'm holding for dear life, the tapering can be so demoralizing at times and then out of nowhere I get tiny glimpses of gaining my old sense of self again, there's so much more I want to say but for now, i'm amazed I've been able to type what I have. Peace
  21. Angoze

    Angoze

    Moderator note: link to benzo thread - Angoze: Help with Klonopin Start klonoping march 2018 2 mg for one panick attack, started new symotoms anxiety and insomnia, decreasing since may, now in 0.5625. (before klonoping did not have problems to sleep or anxiety affevting my dayli) Paxil may 20 mg first week, did no tolerate, down 10 mg since that. Is not working. Remeron 3.5 mg or less to sleep, has helping me, and noticed my mood is better. Some day i do not want to use medicine to made my lifa as was before. Simptoms with benzo reduction and adition of paxil:sleep disturbamce, anxiety, dizzyness, depression, lack of hope
  22. Hi, I am currently on 15 mg of remeron. I tried to stop when tapered sucessfully down to 3.75. I had withdrawals with anxiety that made me sucidal and I had to go to the hospital. I have come off all other drugs sucessfully in the past. I am scared to death about ever coming off and wondering if I ever should come off. I keep wondering what happens in the future if some reason I can't get the drug. I constantantly obsess now about getting off the drug to the point I've had to go back on tranxene to keep the anxiety down from worring about coming of this drug some day. Should I just stay on it. If it permantly damages the receptors and they don't repair in your brain would it be best to just stay on it. I have GAD so I may need to stay on a drug for life. I got off prozac some years ago and lived symptom free for 4 years until a bad life trauma caused me to have debilitating anxiety for months. I could not work and could not eat. I dropped down to 100 lbs and had to be hospitalized. I have been stabilized on remeron now for over 2 years. Should I try to stop or would it be best for me just to stay on? If I stay on I'm just going to worry about it until I crack up. Right now I found a doctor in Ashville NC, Dr. Daniel Johnson who specializes in helping people safely withdraw from these meds. He has not returned my calls at all. Maybe he is on vacation or something. I even tried contacting Dr. Peter Breggin.. I'm so scared that if I try to come off my brain will be damaged permantely and will not recover. I know I should think like this but even the slightest anixiety can make me suicidal. I don't know if I can ever risk a withdrawal. I had to go to the hospital for my first attempt at this withdrawal. Some of it could have been extra anxiety by worring about the withdrawal rather than the withdrawel itself, but I don't know. Help, I'm scared to even try. Cheryl
  23. Bruin

    Bruin

    Hi I am new to the forum and only just getting to grips with the damage that AD s have wreaked on my life. I took Effexor and Mirtazapine, AKA Californian rocket fuel, for nearly fifteen years before deciding to come of the Effexor. About one month after my much too quick taper....150 mg to 0 in six weeks. I started having dreadful symptoms..nausea, vomiting, weight loss, feeling that my essence had been completely taken away from me. I put some of this down to a successful chemo I had undertaken the previous year. I am now certain it was the withdrawal from Effexor. I was presenting at the Doctor with symptoms of anxiety, insomnia, pain etc and was given pregabalin AKA Lyrica. This was a horrible experience and I managed to get off it after just under 3 months but in that short time it wreaked even more havoc on my CNS. It is over a year since I quit Effexor but am still taking 30 mg of Mirtazapine a night. I desperately want to get off that too but am only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night as it is. I am going to have to be very gentle with myself and incorporate natural healing and healthy into my life. I have cut out wheat, dairy, sugar, alcohol and take probiotic. multi vit, vit D, magnesium and try to do some Yoga and swimming. Am self employed but essentially not able to work at present . I am frightened that I will never come back. I look forward to being active on this forum and very best wishes to all
  24. Moderator's note: link to benzo forum thread - EmmiseA: Can I taper an antidepressant and benzo at same time? Hello, I came on here for some much needed advice/ reassurance. Back in March 2018 I had a horrific reaction to being put on Sertraline 25mg for postnatal anxiety/depression. After 2 weeks, the insomnia was dreadful, anxiety and depression was through the roof. I switched onto citalopram 10mg and after no change in symptoms after a few days apart from developing horrible Hypnic jerks, I was told to come off it by my psychiatrist. The brain zaps, skin crawling, heart palpitations and other side effects lessened over a few weeks but I couldn’t sleep due to these awful jerks and my anxiety and depression were through the roof. I went back to my psychiatrist who put me on quitiepine and pregabalin and 1mg clonazepam. I slept on the clonazepam no problem, but still noticed a few jerks on sleep onset. I successfully tapered off the pregabalin, quitiepine and clonazepam with no new effects but the doctors decided I needed an antidepressant and put me on 30mg of Mirtazapine. I am now on Mirtazipine and down to 0.375mg clonazepam, this being given to me again to help the jerks. 5 months later I still have the Hypnic jerks and muscle fasciculations. They haven’t got any worse on the Mirtazapine - if anything they have got somewhat better - but I still have a few nights a month even when I’m this low dose of clonazepam where they don’t allow me any sleep at all, the twitching is so bad. I really really need to hear some success stories of the jerks going away, please!! I’m afraid to touch anything at the moment in terms of the antidepressant, but am still tapering clonazepam with the aim of being off it soon. My aim is to try and get stable with these jerks and my sleep patterns and then very slowly taper off mirtazipine. Please no horror stories, my nerves just can’t take it!! I need to hear success stories. Many thanks xxx
  25. Hello, I am a 73 yo in good health but trying to taper Remeron after about 20+ years on 30 mg. It has only been 1 1/2 mos., but now I am off the Remeron and on 20 mg. Elavil which works well for sleep. When I try to go to drop the Elavil to 10 mg, I get poor sleep. I also have major GI symptoms: is it the Elavil, or is it late symptoms of Remeron withdrawal? Thank you.
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