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  1. How long does it take to completely recover from risperdal consta? I switched from risperdal consta to latuda end december 2017 but I must still be affected by it, since I'm still impotent (I got this condition while on risperdal consta).
  2. Hello everybody, i hope everyone is well. i would like to thank altostrata for this website and i also want to thank whoever volunteers, so thank you. anyways, i am almost fully recovered from the harmful effects of risperidone. I did not think i would recover, all in all it took 14 months to feel "normal." Here's a link of my first topic if you want more of a perspective on how i used to be: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12502-risperdalhater-my-risperdal-story-and-how-it-has-affected-my-life/#entry234527 I took risperidone for about 3 weeks, i recall starting off with 2mg doses daily then after a few days i complained about drowsiness and feeling weird so they lowered the dose to 1mg then after a few more days they worked their way up to 3mg daily and a long with that i received a long acting 7mg injection which can be taken once a month (as i recall). towards the end of me taking the drug i started feeling very very drowsy and i recall saying in a pathetic weak voice "I don't like this, i want to stop", so i dumped the risperidone in the trash and never took it again, i stopped cold turkey. the next week and a half or so i went through the worst experience of my life until that point. i had: - constant shakiness - could barely sleep - extreme sadness - seemingly a complete absence of happiness - serious muscular fatigue and weak blood flow these all disappeared after that week and a half except for the muscular fatigue and weak blood flow. the sadness/blah feeling got better at an extremely slow pace. libido died of course (pretty common with risperidone). thankfully i did not grow breasts or lactate like some of the victims of risperidone, perhaps they took it longer or took a higher dose. month 1-10 i was a fatigued wreck, people asked me why i looked so sad, i had to force my smiles etc. month 8-10 or so (as i recall) got slightly better but nothing big, just slight improvements. month 10.5 = more slight improvements in energy. nothing to be excited about though. month 11-14 is when the healing starting picking up its pace. i was hopeless at one point. i don't care if you've been on the drug for years, i still sincerely believe you will get better, just get off of the drug. taking this drug is not how a human being is supposed to live. so i started supplementing with niacin and my blood flow was better, i know because when i was at the gym i could actually get a muscle pump again, it wasn't that great but it was there. when someone is lifting weights, their blood is supposed to flow and the muscle that you're using will get filled with blood and become more vascular, i did not have this except for before i took risperidone. i've been lifting weights for 5 years, gym rat level; that being said, i could tell something was wrong when my blood flow became weak. don't worry about libido, it will return as long as you avoid those crap drugs. i personally put any drug in the category of "crap" whether it is prescribed by a doctor or not. i heard that when you show low libido, zinc can be a link.... yes i did try to make that rhyme. get your blood tested, i have heard that medicines can deplete certain vitamins/minerals. again, please get your blood tested. recovery won't happen overnight no matter how many methods you use to help yourself. supplements that helped me: Natural vitality calm magnesium: it's a powdered form of magnesium and has worked better than any magnesium i've tried. Melatonin __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ if you need help or advice, feel free to message me. at this point it has been 14 months and i am recovered, everything is back to normal. check your blood, supplement with what you need, eat good food, exercise. thanks for reading everyone.
  3. I have just started tapering the drug and I am just curious if anyone went through a similar process and can provide any tips.
  4. Sky320

    Sky320

    Have been on multiple anti-psychotic drugs for the past 8 years. Had a nervous breakdown, was put on anti-psychotic. Tried coming off before knowing any better. Now on Risperdal Consta 37.5mg. Want to switch to Risperidone tablets or liquid. Have lost all emotions, become lifeless and constantly tired. Want to get my life back. Read on the forum about switch. Would 37.5 mg injection be equivalent to 3mg tablets or 3ml liquid started 5 weeks after last injection? Has anyone successfully made a switch and tapered off Risperdal? Thank you for any help. Also does anyone know of a good doctor in NJ who may be able to help?
  5. Its been 17 months since I last received a Risperdal injection. 5 or 6 in total in just a 2 month period. I'm completely GONE. Most of my mind has disappeared. Imagination/visualization/creativity is gone. As is memory, for the most part. Just the faintest of memory remains. My brain (frontal lobe mostly) feels ripped, torn, ruptured, shrunk, numb, dead, burned, etc. It also feels like rubber. I've lost most of my intelligence. I feel damned. Can barely understand anything anymore. Feel nothing except mostly fear. It's just really hard to think about the simplest of things now and if I over strain my brain while trying to think it just seems to rupture or tear further so I have to be careful. Nothing in the world seems to exist anymore. It's all disappeared. I had a beautiful intellect/mind and now I've just been reduced to something very sub-human. Recovery seems completely impossible. I feel I will forever be like this - without my mind/soul - even after having left my body upon death. I cannot comprehend the damage or this loss of 'me' and I continue to deteriorate even after all this time after having stopped the injections. My mind is blank - a void. The chemical poisons from the shots just continue to slowly seep deeper into my brain tissues disabling more of my brain/mind as time goes by. Any ways, still like to read about people who've somehow recovered but I honestly feel no one out there could be as damaged as me but then again, when all the love goes, I suppose any kind of damage is conceivable..
  6. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  7. Hello fellow SA members! I am curious to know if anyone has come off antipsychotics and gone onto antidepressants and recovered from antipsychotics? My pdoc says that she's had ppl recover in this situation, but I'm in disbelief. Any comments and info would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! Xo
  8. just want to thank everyone here who posts. I am managing my daughter's withdrawal. She doesn't speak much so i have to gauge her withdrawal by her eating and sleeping habits as well as when we 'see her old personality' show up for a few minutes a day. When she can concentrate on a video or a movie, play Uno, or listen to her spotify.....we know she is feeling better. THe tapering is so slow and i want her off this med, but watching her body is my only key. It is an amazing process to see this sweet child who has no idea why this is happening, go through this process. Those of you who can speak and share are my light. Peace
  9. Hello. I am twenty years old and had been on antidepressants since I was ten. From then on through my teenage years, all I knew was I needed to take my medicine . Once I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, my pediatrician referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist then put me on respiradone and strattera. I don't remember if I had any behavior problems or not, but my neurologist told me I would have to be on medicine for the rest of my life. I stayed on those two meds until I got into high school. My first two years of high school, I couldn't stop crying. I cried day and night. My neurologist put me on celexa. When that didn't work, my neurologist told me he could no longer help me and referred me to a psychiatrist. I saw the new psychiatrist my junior year of high school who told me I had depression and anxiety that needed to be treated. I was taken off respiradone and strattera and put on pristiq and adderall. When pristiq wouldn't work, I was switched back to celexa. So it went on, switching back and forth between antidepressants. There were so many different ones I can't remember many of them. Every time I asked my psychiatrist if the next time it would work, he assured me it would. There was no chance to talk when I saw my psychiatrist. It would result in a new prescription every time. During my senior year, I helplessly slept through every class, sometimes falling out on the floor asleep. I had a good school counselor who allowed me to pass because she knew it was the medicine and I got plenty of sleep. I also cried uncontrollably almost every day in front of everyone and it was very humiliating as I would stir up a lot of attention. My senior pictures of me showed a person with a puffed up and swollen face. I was switched to lexapro again and stayed on it my whole first year of college. Then the crying returned. During my second year, I was switched to Abilify for depression. I still trusted my psychiatrist as he again promised me it would work. Out of all my experiences with antidepressants, there is nothing that could ever have compared to this. As soon as I took the first dose of Abilify, my brain signaled to me something was very, very wrong. I began receiving no sleep. My psychiatrist put me on trazadone for that, but when I took it, my body fell completely limp, my heartbeat slowed down to almost nothing, and I went numb while my body shut itself down. I stopped it after two nights. Meanwhile, with abilify, I began spending all my time obsessing over things I would normally never touch. I believed I was an alien hybrid sent from outer space to save the planet. I also believed the human race are all aliens in disguise. Then I started going mad. I didn't want to be a human anymore. I wanted to be a supernatural creature with otherworldly capabilities. This was all extremely terrifying to me, but I couldn't stop myself. I lost my common sense as I believed these nonsensical theories. My mind was overpowering me with racing thoughts such as these listed. I couldn't think clearly. I was almost always in a state of rage. Reasoning had left me. For reasons I do not remember, I stopped Abilify by myself cold turkey. My psychiatrist had told me before that I never needed to worry about tapering because the antidepressants I took were all in the same family. He never mentioned stopping completely. Withdrawal symptoms didn't show up until a week later. My psychiatrist told me they would last 15 days. They were relatively minor, and I didn't worry much about them. However, nothing could have ever prepared me for the horror I underwent next. Every horror I could have never imagined bestowed me over the course of a month. I received no sleep. I was very lucky if I got one hour. The nights soon got from bad to worse. I developed REM sleep disorder. I was unable to tell the difference between being awake and asleep. As my mind was drifting, I jumped up in the air, screamed, swung at the air, and thrashed violently all over. In addition, my head would suddenly snap up and I would shout melancholy indistinguishable language and suck in sharp breaths. I was aware of everything, but I had no control over it, and it was very disturbing to me. Then came the uncontrollable muscle movements. My lips drew up on the sides, my mouth gaped open, my lips puckered and pouted, my teeth bared, my tongue stuck out, my neck extended, my eyes bulged, my eyebrows rose and lowered, my hands flapped, my arms swung, my knees jerked, my head jerked side to side, and my fingers extended. Shouts, grunts, moans, and gasps escaped my mouth. Several weeks went by as more horrendous symptoms appeared. Every day I was a zombie. I could only do basic human activities. I had no awareness of the passage of time. At night while drifting off, a dark shadowy presence swept over me. I was aware of where I was in real time while drifting, but I sensed a sudden danger. I jumped up alert every time. I heard a voice I believed to be God's telling me why I was like this and what I needed to do. It spoke to me relentlessly for days. When this occurred, an otherworldly and overwhelming sense of peace filled my every being. But it was always soon replaced by a terror so surreal I could not function. During this time, I could "see" my brain and I believed I was in control of what I allowed to be let in. After four days of this, I ordered the voice to "Get out!" It did and did not come back. Right after this, a veil suddenly covered my mind and I was disengaged from reality. I had no sense of where I was and I had no connection with my parents. I was always mad, crying most of the time, and my head was always jerking. I saw my psychiatrist for the last time two months ago. The doctor who had been nice to me all this time suddenly turned mean. He told me he refused to see me unless I got on medicine. By this time, I had found this site and many other websites about withdrawal. I knew I wanted to try living a better life and I was not backing down. I never took the newly prescribed anti psychotic he prescribed me. A week later, my parents, exasperated with how I was doing and on their last straw, called my psychiatrist. My dad told the psychiatrist I had read on the internet how long the withdrawal really is and the doctor spoke with me on the phone. My psychiatrist told me that the withdrawal symptoms I was describing were "all in my head" because the medicine would already be out of my system now six weeks later. He told me I needed to get on medicine right now because "I needed help". He told me my quality of life was not as good without the medicine. I was in another rage episode by this time, and unlike me, I confronted him. I said "Well why are a lot of these the same symptoms I experienced during the so-called withdrawal time?" He said he didn't know and preceded to ask me was I on drugs. I was in disbelief that anyone would ask such a thing. I have not spoken to that psychiatrist since. I am dealing currently with a lot of physical and mental symptoms but none I would describe as severe as that horrible nightmare of a month. (That month just happened to be timed perfectly with my Christmas break.) My mouth, head, and fingers jerk, but never as exaggerated as they were the first month. I dealt with extremely numb fingers, feet, and ankles up until two weeks ago. My ankles at times felt like they were hanging by a single nail. My feet, bluish-green, were so numb and swollen I had no feeling and shooting pains shot up my legs. I was extremely dizzy for so long. My gp told me I have low blood pressure. I started having panic attacks. Anxiety crept over me for no apparent reason. I cried a lot. I felt hopeless. I am dealing with apathy, anhedonia, akathisia, and cognitive problems. My memory has not been well during this whole time. I am not aware; I'm just wherever I am. I have lost perception of sight, hearing, and touch. I do things I'm supposed to do because I know that's what I've always done. I cannot connect feelings to memories; I have to rely on pictures and journals from over the years. I had to look back in my journal to refresh my memory of this whole experience which I happened to write down. I have been disconnected with myself...it was worse in the beginning. I would look at pictures of myself and couldn't connect that it was me. The whole first month of withdrawal my face was so puffed up I thought my skin would fall off. Sometimes things look bigger or smaller than they appear. My thinking ability is limited. I went to my gp again three weeks ago and I was low on vitamin D. I am currently on iron medicine, vitamin d supplements, allergy medicine, and multivitamins. Although the numbness has gone away, I am extremely faint and have weak tremors every day. At night I'm miserably exhausted. My heart is always beating fast and hard. I get chills and my body tenses up. I'm not sure if I should be concerned about any of this. I cold-turkeyed Abilify four months ago. I have managed to keep my grades up in college since then and so far have maintained a perfect attendance. Some days are harder than others, but I try to count my blessings as I've heard stories far worse than my own. I am only beginning to understand what I am dealing with. The last thing I would want is to ever take another antidepressant and hinder this process. I feel like I have a real sense of myself now and I feel more in control. I have no idea how long this will last or if it will ever go away but I try to maintain a positive attitude about it as things slowly get better. I have faced the fact that I can't change my past but I can certainly shape my future. I apologize for the long story. It is difficult to get my thoughts together.
  10. DailyRecovery31

    DailyRecovery31: Introduction

    When tapering, do you round to the nearest 100th decim[/size]al place? I'[/size]m getting for instance [/size]0.56902862332, etc. Do you round to 0.569? I'[/size]m trying to figure out how to taper off Risperdal. [/size] Please help![/size]
  11. Hello, Im 24 years old, in february i had an psychosis and was put on 6mg Risperdal a day. In the first month i felt nothing from the medication but in the second month i experiencend wirred conditions like my brain was melting.... since this time i lost all my Feelings interests and sexuality.... i cant even watch tv or read a book, the only thing i can do is starring at the wall all day...its awful. its the 4th month im off risperdal and still there is no change in my condition.... im thinking about suicid all day and had a lot of attempts. I really need a recovery story beside charliebrowns because i think his symptoms werent as bad as mine.
  12. Link to father's topic: paranoidandroid Hello everyone, Iv'e actually been looking at this site for quite a while now to get me through and decided to make an account now I feel in a slightly better place to do so. Currently I'd just like peoples opinions on my situation.. do you think I'll ever fully recover? My history in the signature sums it up quite concisely so if you want to ask any questions please do. I believe I will but I just want to hear it from other people, as you may know this can be a lonely place to be. I wasn't aware for all this time how damaging these drugs are and assumed my visual snow and DP was just related to anxiety. But now I have no doubt in my mind they caused these symptoms. I may not go back to exactly how I was 6 years ago, which is upsetting, but as long as going forward I'll be able to make a better reality for myself, then I think I'll be okay. I'd also be very interested in what people think of my diet and if you think I should refine it in any way.
  13. Hi there I am coming off risperdal. I know its tough but is it possible. I was really hoping to hear from alto strata on the matter. What speed should I start my taper at? Guys is there any hope? All im hearing are nightmare stories and im desperate for hope...
  14. Hello! Here’s my psychosis and medication history; so.. i had psychosis which was caused by extremely heavy drinking. i had meds (latest risperdal) for.. 10months and they made me a zombie 😕 i quit risperdal about 4 months ago and i started feeling great little by little, until someday i felt totally back to myself! (Normally i’m talkative, say jokes and laugh alot) uh oh so lately (2weeks) i’ve been feeling myself little bit ”too good” like i’m in a super good mood of love and happiness and i’m super confident! (Nothing euphoric) but *zap* my mood can be killed so easily to super pissed off (like workmate not greeting me) but in these 2 weeks i have learned to drink coffee and smoking cigarettes so.. every day i drink about 5-10cups of coffee (i get usually too energenic) so it (coffe/cig) cause me this kind of energyboosts. I’m not psychically energic, but mentally too energic, my mind is racing like crazy! i’ll try to avoid coffee and cigs and alcohol from now on and i can already see that my mind is alot calmer.. (uh oh coffe/cig withdrawals are going to be hellish!) like i said i’hv been only mentally/emotionally energic (my mood is changing all the time!) but pychically (you know my bodyfunction) i am really LAZY! (Like i normally am) but when i’m alone, i’m super lazy! Even when in my head can make up great ideas and such but i have been reading about mania, i dont waste money or do all the rime something? Like i said, i’m lazy I have read the topic ”dealing with emotional spiral” and thats just the ways my mind is racing! I tried that sleeping habit about listening meditation music and it really helped and i slept within 10minutes! In these 2 weeks i have slept normally only once i didnt sleep at all (drank 10cups of coffee before going to sleep) but i’m still concerned if THIS IS BIPO/MANIA?? 😕
  15. Hello, im from eu, sorry about my english. i'm going to taper my medication which is risperdal 1mg. I have had it about 1,2month. I have been taking 0,5mg for few days now so.. My earlier meds were abilify, zyprexa, truxal and levozin. I had my boozepsychosis about 7 months ago. how slowly do i need to manage with risperdal?
  16. Hello. About 6 months ago I was hospitalized and put on risperdal against my will. I was diagnosed as bi polar and given the medication over the course of 21 days, beginning with a pill and ending with two injectables. I was scheduled for a third injection three months after being released, but as the symptoms were impossible to cope with, my psychiatrist put me on abillify instead. After less than a month, I discontinued the medication completely cold turkey and I haven't been back to see him since. Here are some of the symptoms I've noticed for the past 3 months since discontinuing the medications. -akathisia -mild gynecomastia -emotional flatness -inabillity to read or retain information ( I used to read about a book a week before the medication) -increased joint pain -terrible anxiety and agoraphobia -erectile dysfunction and an empty sex drive/diminished orgasms -severe weight gain Anyways, a whole myriad of symptoms began to occur, but my main concern is permanent neurological impairment or alteration caused from this medication. I've read that these medications are actually neurotoxic, that they shrink the brain or even cause brain cells to die, all sorts of terrible stuff like that - and I'm terrified. I don't know what to do or how to cope. Is there anybody out there with similar experiences? If so, how long has it taken you to recover, if you recovered at all? I feel like I've basically been lobotomized. I'm only 23, and I couldn't imagine living life like this without some hope of getting better. Any help is appreciated. Thanks for listening.
  17. Hello, my name is Manny. I was diagnosed 0CD and schizophrenic in 2008, but I been taking benzos and amiptriptiline since 2005. Currently,taking abilify 20mg,risperidone 2mg,cymbalta 60mg,biperiden 4mg. I am tapering klonopin down to 0,27mg from a dose of 1,25mg. I went to see my doctor this week because a blood test that I did. He said my hepatic transaminases are high because of the medication that I take. I am assuming the APs that I take. What can I do to get my liver function well? I know, quitting the APs, but I can t cold turkey. Any advice,please.
  18. Hello Everyone, I am relieved to find this site, because I have been dealing with problems from my medications alone for a long time, and it's a relief to find a support system, and a place where I may be finally be able to be helpful. For context, I grew up in an unstable home. My parents were upper middle class and had no serious problems (like drug abuse), and were caring in many ways - but not in others. My mother withheld food for every reason in the book (misbehavior, being too busy, not believing I was hungry, trying to teach me a lesson about different things, like patience, and making sure I stayed super thin, and making sure I enjoyed the food she cooked more) and I was hungry all the time, though never became too unhealthy because I never exceeded 24 hours without food. But it made me extremely hunger phobic (which I still am today.) I developed insomnia and generalized anxiety at the same time. And no one in my family took it seriously - they were all disappointed in me. However, when I developed depression, my parents constantly took me to doctor's and tried numerous medications - Hydroxyzine, Prozac, Lexapro, Zoloft, Clonidine, Welbutrin, and Abilify - all to no avail. During my depression, both parents became extremely emotionally distant from me, which made things worse. Finally, my doctor prescribed Mirtazapine and convinced my parents to feed me more regularly, and my depression and insomnia went away. However, I was also prescribed Risperidone. I was told that its mood-stabilizing effects would be beneficial in helping regulate my emotions and would prevent me from overindulging in my internal fantasy world (that became a crutch for me during my depression. I was not psychotic or bipolar - my official diagnosis was major depressive disorder and I never had mania or hallucinations. Risperidone was at a low dose, .5 mg, although I was only 14. She also wanted Risperidone to be a short-term drug. However, we had to abruptly switch to a new doctor (my parents had split up, and we had to find a doctor closer to their new houses). He seemed to think Risperidone would be fine as a long-term drug; I suppose he thought it was needed to keep my depression at bay alongside Mirtazapine. Here's when the trouble began. Mirtazapine was fine (I'm still on it.) However, with Risperidone, I had to fast regularly to test for insulin resistance. This aggravated my hunger phobia, but my parents didn't take it seriously. It also exacerbated my anxiety tenfold. I became so afraid of bugs that by the the first year I was on it, I was too afraid to leave the house during the summer. Sleeping was hard because I was terrified a bug would crawl into my bed. Some of my childhood fears came back and became huge an irrational - I was terrified of vomiting and lound sounds, to name a few. My family didn't take this seriously - they didn't believe it had gotten worse; they told me I was always this anxious. My doctor mostly believed them and gave me Xanax rather than examining my medications. After six months on the drug and for the rest of my time on Risperidone, I began waking up twice during the night by extreme hunger, unlike anything I ever felt (around midnight and again between three and four in the morning) which was disastrous for my mental health because of my phobia. (I think the only way I survived was because the hunger was so extreme that it felt fake, but it hurt like hell.) I couldn't go more than two hours without getting extremely hungry, and became afraid of taking standardized tests in high school (because food wasn't allowed) and couldn't go to social outings because I was afraid my friends wouldn't stop for food. Sometimes, no matter what I did, I couldn't feel full. I stopped doing the fasting blood draws because of my phobia, despite the potential consequences. I started cutting to deal with the constant threat of hunger. My family still didn't take my deteriorating health seriously and even threatened not to feed me to get to do what they wanted, and mocked me for being scared all the time. The only thing that stopped them from not feeding me was my doctor. He told them to feed me, but he didn't take me off the drug despite the hunger-induced insomnia and anxiety. I had prolactin troubles. It gave me an intense sex drive. However, it stopped my puberty almost entirely. I had menstrual periods once every three months, but when I did have them, they could last for two weeks and were very heavy, though I had no cramps. I also began to look different - I look younger in my senior yearbook photo than I did in my eighth grade middle school photo. People who saw me around high school who didn't know me well enough asked if I was a freshmen all junior and senior year. My parents blamed me for some reason - they just said I should wear more makeup and said I got bad "genes" from the other parent. After three years on the drug, I started having serious problems with my gut. For the first three years, I had bad constipation on and off, getting progressively worse as the years went by. After the third year, I had an episode where I was constipated for ten days and had to use powerful laxatives four times to finally get some relief. After that, I had to use those laxatives regularly. I also developed an immense, cramping pain in my gut. It would get so bad that sometimes, during class I couldn't do my work at all. I had to sit there, motionless, for the full hour because the pain was so bad I couldn't move. I had trouble standing for this same reason. This was my senior year, and the intensity of and the frequency of which the pain occurred and the need to use laxatives increased. At the same time, I started having psychotic episodes. I would switch between "positive" episodes, where I had delusions that the teachers and students in one of my classes were forming a conspiracy to humiliate me, that everyone I knew was trying to collect information about my weaknesses (hence my refusal to tell anyone about the pain in my gut), that other teachers were reading my thoughts, and so on. I became terrified of small noises and believed that whispering people were always talking about me. I had a perceptual difficulty where the world looked too shiny and glass-like. In between were "negative" episodes, where I couldn't make facial expressions, everything looked gray, and I moved very slowly and either felt immensely sad or nothing at all. teachers and friends tried to help me but I was scared of them and wouldn't let them. My family be angry with me. I was living with my dad, and would accuse me of abusing my Xanax drugs when I had negative episodes, and would yell and once hit me when I got scared of him during positive ones. I didn't live with my mom at all because her abuse was worse. After graduation, the laxatives just weren't effective anymore, but I kept using them, more and more, to try and get their effect. This caused bizarre symptoms (I think.) I slept for 14 hours a day, and had trouble moving after I took one. My heart would go extremely fast for hours after taking them. At the time, I started to worry they were killing me. I knew that both Risperidone and Mirtazapine caused constipation. The hunger was bad as it had ever been, and I was having delusions based around that, and I knew that Risperidone and Mirtazapine caused increased appetite. I finally decided that I needed Mirtazapine more because it had relieved the depression symptoms first, and Risperidone was only ever supposed to be for emotional regulation help anyway. Deciding I could do without it, I quit it cold turkey. I wouldn't have done this if I was thinking straight, but I was psychotic and no one was offering any help. Within hours, my constipation was relieved and NEVER came back. My appetite dwindled within a few days, as did my anxiety about bugs. For the first time in years, I walked out into the summer heat without fear of bees, and slept without hunger. I had a wonderful feeling in my body that I can't even describe. My psychotic symptoms being to ebb immediately, and were gone entirely after a month. However, other troubles popped up. First off, I've been mildly depressed and isolated since what happened. I feel awful about how I treated my friends and teachers when I was psychotic and thought I had to protect myself from them (which usually meant rudeness or shutting them out). I reconnected with some of my friends, and they really understood. However, not with others. Also, my family is the most distant they've ever been. They don't understand what I've been through, what I'm dealing with now, or why I treated them the way I did. They think I over-exaggerate and seem to regard me as unstable and don't have a sense of the recovery I've made, they only see the shortcomings I still face. I feel like a burden to everyone - I always need something, like money for doctor's visits or emotional support. I haven't yet been able to offer much in return, and it's profoundly upsetting. There's always something going on with me and I just wish I could help others for once. Two moderate shortcomings are communication and driving. Talking has become very difficult - I'm always forgetting what I should say (like "have a nice day') and am frequently lost for words - I either stare off into space or say "um" multiple times when asked a question. My words come out jumbled. Only a couple of friends have been patient enough to learn how to communicate with me. My family says I'm less intelligent than most people my age, and my peers and professors tend to think I'm weird or rude. I'm getting better though and my writing has remained fine and is a good communication tool for me. I also still can't drive. On Risperidone, I was too afraid to drive. Now, my nutrition is bad (I'll talk about that more below) and so it makes it hard to focus on different things at once (like car speed and lights) but I'm working on it. It's slow going though because I need to get away from my family. One of those is my menstrual periods. They are regular now, but the cramps they give me are intense. So bad that they make me sick to my stomach. Sometimes so bad that I almost faint and/or see stars. The cramping extends down my legs. I experience some of the psychotic symptoms I had on risperidone, along with confusion and sometimes even hypomania (like rapid talking and over-spending.) I now take Xanax exclusively for this because it's the only way to drown out the pain. Worse, I have terrible problems with my gut. I had acid reflux for a year after quitting Risperidone, though it's now mostly gone. Risperidone may have increased my appetite, but when I quit it, I lost my appetite almost completely. I became at one point nearly ten pounds underweight. I usually ate one small meal a day with a snack. I became so underweight that at one point I had problems breathing and climbing staircases. I had strange pains in my legs and made very poor decisions. I got sick all the time. I was cold all the time too - I had the space heater running in the summer. My felt pain in my bones all over my body and sitting on hard floors was excruciating. My family noticed none of this. At one point, I had to go to the urgent care once for dehydration. But of course, the doctor and my family wrote it off as anxiety, though the doctor mentioned I needed to put on some weight. I can't eat breakfast anymore I have symptoms of severe IBS daily, and used to vomit if I didn't get enough sleep (though this has since lessened to heartburn.) I still have malnutrition problems on an off. I alternate between a week of eating normally, eating less, and then eating almost nothing at all. Doctors and family say it's anxiety, but my anxiety has been virtually gone since quitting Risperidone. On that note, I HAVE made improvements. My anxiety is the lowest it's ever been my whole life (I can pick up spiders in my bare hand!). My hunger phobia, for better or worse, is more manageable now that my appetite is unreliable. I am in college. Socializing is hard and my roommate also became verbally abusive, making fun and belittling my health problems more actively than my family. However, I've made some light acquaintances and am helping a professor with research. I'm in the honors program at my school and I have a job. Despite my pain and eating problems, I go to class and have learned to be tough about it. I'm thinking of writing a book about my experiences with Risperidone. I'm keeping hope and positivty. But to be honest, it's hard. I don't have anyone to talk to about what I've been through. The nutrition problems are bad, and no one takes them seriously. I have a better doctor now, prescribing Mirtazapine and Trazodone (for sleep), and does recognize my weight issues are a problem, but I have trouble paying for her on a regular basis, and she can't do much for me when it comes to helping the nutrition/weight problem - I need a nutritionist, which I also can't afford. And so my poor health continues to get in the way of a lot of things, but I don't many solutions and sometimes the only thing I can do is hide them and manage them the best I can without guidance. And so, I am so grateful to anyone who has read this long and personal post, and I greatly appreciate any support and want to offer all I can in return.
  19. I thought I would make a post here. I was sectioned in august 2016 in a way that caused me huge trauma. ( I never should have been medicated as I never needed it and was in withdrawal from weed) I got out 3 weeks later after being a 'good boy' I 2mg risperidone for two weeks then they upped it to 4mg when I told them the other patients were talking about me. BIG MISTAKE. I felt like a piece of lead in my body, energy, breathing, mind, emotions, cognitive abilities and MY WORLD just felt sinking into void not what it once was I was 'gone'. As Alan Watts says and made me go though this stage faster 'who are you really?' I know this was true as who the ***** was I ? This sh*tty chemical had made me feel a spark of my former self who you are afraid to let ignite and warm your whole being from its true and familiar glow. I got home and kept waking with intense huge panics in the morning waking in shock like my whole being couldnt comprehed the torture this so called 'mental health' system had endured on me. I felt like I had a Nelson Mandela imprisonment level of psyche trauma rolled into a few blurry weeks. I researched the 'medication' and it caused me huge panic and terror. I quickly tapered in around 2 months and finished around november 2016 after tapering to nothing. It was a scary journey, I maybe tapered slightly too fast but my feelings were I wanted to get this crap out of my system as soon as possible with out cold turkey. I felt the worst I ever felt in my life, feelings of akathasia and anhedonia and fear of 'relapsing' fear of how evil these crazy quacks were who prescribed this poison. Disgust at the world. Disgust at how we glorify a 'free equal society' in ways like 'ahhh we are not racist' anymore - look we got a black president. Or had. So many bull **** distractions from real hidden atrocities in this world. Ohhh it makes my blood boil!!! Except we treat people who have unusual mental experiences with 'magic medications' and near psychic psychiatry with their lists of symptoms but no evidenced physical test for diagnosis. Yes I felt bitter and numb to the world and still do. We blame them for things in the media we make teach our kids to be afraid of them when the real people to be afraid of nowadays are really your teachers or doctors who can push bull **** meds onto the poor kids and teens. Although lately I have been choosing hope and letting its fire burn and light my own soul afire again. In the hope one day the people who are responsible for these mal practices will be put to justice. The more powerful good peoples sons daughters fathers mothers get caught in this sick web will make us stronger. With greed you can only carry so much profit, liability, food before the stomach bursts like all bubbles do! That is my belief. Any how I have been around 3 months free of Risperidone. I have felt at least 75% of the time numb and a whirlwind of horrible fearful dark feelings on top of this. Just numb, like my old life is dead where do I go from here type of mantra of feeling. When its quite on a bad day it is also quite and my mind completely quite unless doing something. Can you relate? I used to meditate to get to this quite but this is like a chemical quite? Or a fear that it is a chemical silence in my head. Maybe its just a fear of the worst but the fact is some times I have read of guys with the same description of feelings. The anhedonia is the worst. I have inner akathasia also although I don't pace the house anymore like a zombie. My sleep pattern is always changing aswell. Sleeping though the day for 12-14 hours some times. Some times 10pm to 9 am. I watched a program on the placebo effect last night and I realised it is little more than believing in magic. If it works it just means magic is just a science or technology that we have not discovered yet. I really do believe prayer, ecstatic dance, HOPE FOR HUMANITY and healing of your self all work and are true. I believe that these drugs really are evil and a form of torture and human rights abuses invented to push people to the dark side and go mad with its horrendous side effects to just profit out of them. I say this because the treatment I got from the mental health service in the UK made my state of mind go 1000% worse or more..... Any way I just wanted to say the past day I watched a few nice films and also these videos of stray dogs in India getting rescued and cared for and the transformation is a miracle. After feeling in a place where I feel I cant trust anyone any more for most of the past 6 months those dogs really made me feel love and hope. I noticed when I have a really numb anhedonic and miserable day I go to bed and some times have dreams where it is like I feel all the emotions I did before all this happened or its just the deepest layer of me which is running and flying in those dreams joyfully and it gives me some hope that atleast I feel good some times in my dreams when I am in a bad window or wave. Do you guys relate? Some times I get dreams that I am being chased and I used to wake up terrified of these some times before taking these crap medications. Now because I have felt real terror being put in hospital and chased by police and put in some horrible cage like 72 hour confinement we have here in the UK. I don't feel this fear anymore. I actually have little fear of death and 'scary things' I fear the most not helping get this tragedy put to the light. It is like I am more strong in front of the evil real crazy people in the world.... I am also very close to writing a book on a topic known as topical steroid withdrawal. Which is the same thing as withdrawal from anti psychotics except its for the treatment of 'skin condition' where the hydrocortisone actually causes flare ups stronger and stronger when you stop taking them. I also want to write books on this kind of withdrawal and say my story and tips. As well as a conspiracy theorist type book. I am rambling.... I also felt like I was reborn and everything was new to me even though I knew it was not. It was like the changes chemically and from trauma made me react to everything differently or I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Or be happy or angry I was feeling so many things at once which were also numbed or were they? I mean who knows who can measure it? Its like a psychic raping and trauma caused by the mental health system. I often wonder and believe I was suffering PTSD as the first few months I was really depersonalised and derelised like the world were full of robots going around all smiley while the ******* world is going to ****!!!! This has decreased hugely, I felt in limbo or something it was very weird and scary. I feel like I went through a crawling stage mentally then a toddler and I am now seeing the first days of teenager today. I FEEL ANGRY HAPPY AND REBELLIOUS although I wont tell my CBT worker this as she may try to say I am bi polar as I keep having small windows of anger and happiness then numbness and crying.... The thing that triggered this beautiful window for me was listening to Kerrang Radio station you know the teenager rebellious skater music. I used to love this music then I went in to old school rock , blues, jazz, funk and 'real music' This raw skater type Linkin Park, Papa Roach, Nickelback type 90s and early 00s music was a big part of my high school years I some what loathed and loved. I also recommend staying mad at the man! Never lose hope as we will see these sick fu cks put to justice and revenge will be sweet. I was laughing hugely also as I felt there is a 'crazier' guy out there that everyone loves in Alex Jones on Joe Rogan show. The latest episode is amazing I suggest you watch it. I feel a lot of hope from it. Tell me what you think guys if you can relate to anything.. I will try to post on my feelings and keep you updated. Also I took a break from ashwaghanda and then used it last night and maybe it has helped? Your friend Peter Oh and thai massage helps open great windows some times. I also plan to do a course of 2 weeks every day acupuncture and I will report the results here. Its gota be non detoxing and non stimulating I heard on here? A calming treatment? Thanks!
  20. Hi all, I am new to this forum. I want to share my experience with you guys. This is my second time trying to come off of these two medications. I want to succeed in staying off them this time. I have been off meds for four months so far. A bit of a history of my medication use. I have been on seroquel and lexparo for a total of six years. In 2014 I tried to come off of those 2 meds and did it way too fast. I was on Seroquel 600mg and the physical withdrawals got so bad that I ended up in the emergency room. At that point however I did not go back on any meds and stuck through the physical withdrawals until they went away. A few months after that I went through the emotional, clinical, and psychological post withdrawals that got so bad that after 5 months I went back on medications and ultimately to the same meds I was on before. I have been on those meds since this past year. So I was on seroquel 400mg and lexapro 10mg until this past year. I knew that I had done it too fast and too quickly the first time and I was not under any medical supervision as I had stopped seeing that doctor. I wanted to give going of medications a second attempt this time and with determination and willpower to not go back on them again. With my luck however this past April my psychiatrist told me she was moving to a different state and will be replaced. So I asked her how to wean myself off of the meds before she left and she did not agree with it but told me how. Btw after she left I just followed her instructions and did not see the people that were covering for her because i did not feel the need to since I was no longer taking any medication, they never replaced her and just had people filling in and when they did find a nurse practitioner, I was told that she has quit. But back to what my doctor said. She told me to go down from 400mg of seroquel by 50 mg every month, that was her recommendation for the slow taper. This was back in April and it would take me 8 months if I did it that way before I would be off so I did not do that and instead went down 100mg every month. She told me that that was not the safest way to do it but she could not stop me. Now that I look back I probably should have done it by 50 mg each month even if it would have took 8 months, and maybe I would not have as many problems right now. So I began the weaning process in April and by July I was off both seroquel and lexapro, seorquel 400mg and lexapro 10 mg. For the Lexapro I went from 10mg to 5mg for two months, then to 2.5mg for a few weeks, by 3 months I was off of it as well. The physical withdrawals did not last that long and I got through it. But two months in I was getting the clinical, emotional and psychological symptoms back. The very ones they were meant to treat, and each month it is getting worse and worse. I do have to mention that before I ever started any medications, the only thing I was ever diagnosed with was depression and social anxiety. I was put on an SSRI and it made me very agitated and off the walls, kind of like hypomania with anger and impulsiveness, thinking and acting reckless. Once again I was never like this before meds. So what did they do? They added seroquel to counteract those side affects of the SSRI and I stayed on that combination ever since, going as high as 600mg of seroquel at one time and these past 3 years on 400mg of seroquel. The post withdrawal affects I have been dealing with now four months off the meds has been has follows. It started as paranoia, slightly delusional, lots of anxiety and worry and nervous, can't calm down. Then came the depression, debilitating depression, it can be brutal, then came the severe ruminations and obsessions, I repeat the same stuff in my head over and over again like a broken record with anxiety, doubt, unsure jumping back and forth between thoughts, it is very time consuming and makes me feel like I am losing it. And then came the mood swings, lots of agitation and irritability, anxiety, angry thoughts, hostility, everything pisses me off, don't like myself or anyone else, thinking irrational and delusional, depressed but with lots of energy, suicidal ideations, there are moments when I feel ok or normal and am able to laugh but those don't last. And now recently when I feel totally out of it, kind of like derealization and depersonalization, where I feel disconnected from myself, everyone else, and everything around me. I don't feel anything, loss of pleasure and emotions. And it is really scaring me. I never know how I am going to be feeling on any day, it is so unpredictable and it seems to be changing and getting worse and worse. I am still going through all the symptoms I mentioned before, and they keep adding on to different or new ones but I never know how I am going to be feeling at any given moment or day, it is very unpredictable. Lately my head has been hurting and I feel I am going into cognitive decline, like I am slowly starting to lose my mind, where I can barely function. Also, I am having a lot of restless movements of my hands, feet, and legs all the time. I am having more sexual dysfunction now than when I was on meds. I feel extreme panic, worry, and desperation, severe anxiety, where I feel like I am drowning or can't breathe, and moments of intense grief and sorrow. This is an everyday thing for me, it shows no mercy and I am getting tired of it all, it seems never ending, don't know what to do but I need help. The current state that I am in is that I find it very hard to be around people, all my symptoms exacerbate around people making me feel ten times severely worse. So I don't leave the house much these days, only if I can and it is not for long. Even in the house, I am mostly in my room, being in the kitchen, or bathroom or living room makes me feel unwell, being in my room does not make me feel happy or content but it makes me feel better than being anywhere else. I know that this is all in part because of I have been off the meds four months now and that is why I am going through all this that is getting worse and worse. I ask myself if I give it more time being like this will I eventually get better? Will my brain go back to normal with time without having to go back on any medications, especially the ones I was taking? or do I need to go back on some type of medications right now to get me through this, whether they are the same ones or different ones? I wonder if I need to be hospitalized which would mean I would have to go back on meds, or if I should just go back on meds right away. I am not sure what to do at this point. My goal is to not go back on any medications and give it as much time as possible while doing things to occupy my mind and body and avoid anything that will trigger me, stress me out, or give my anxiety, which at this point it is just about anything. Another option I thought about was going back on the meds at a very low dose and than weaning off of them again at the slowest pace possible, this would be just to get me through this right now and stabilize me. Since I think 3 months weaning process was too fast considering that I was on them 6 years in total at fairly mid dose ranges. I can either wait it out longer and I wonder if i will get better or worse or stay the same, or if any emergency happens, like having serious thoughts about hurting myself or some type of episode, that I would either have to be hospitalized and go back on meds to save my life. I do take vitamins and supplements right now and I would like to think they are helping but I am really not sure. I am also exercising and watching what I eat and drink, and am getting good sleep thankfully. Can anyone relate to this at all? Have any opinions, suggestions, or advice? Thank you.
  21. hello,everybody. im verygrateful i found this site.it is so informative and helpful. can anyone give as many tips for coming of/tapering from risperidone? I currently take 2mg of risperidone and i have seen my doctor and she has agreed to allow me to taper from the drug. Any reccomendations in terms of diet,sleep and rest would be grateful especially in response to the withdrawal period. Im eating well and including good nutrition in my diet such as beans,meat fish, eggs and plenty of vegetables as well as plenty of complex carbohydrates.My diet is not restrictive. I also drink milk. I also now eat alot of good fats like coconut oil,omega 3. I eat a very nutritious diet and im aware that diet is very important. I also know that sleep deprivation is something to be aware of and that i need to sleep well and sleep long enough. I also make sure i rest. i do yoga, aqua aerobics and pilates so i do activities that are helping my mind and well being. My living situation is very good and i feel safe though i live on my own. i dont smoke,i dont drink any form of alcohol, and i dont drink fizzy drinks. i also dont drink tea or coffeee. I drink herbal teas. Any useful information that offers more clarity and insight would be very beneficial as well as supportive. Thank you Celery
  22. Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.
  23. Hi there, I am wanting some information on how to withdraw or at the least reduce my medications. I was initially put on lexipro for 3 months in nov 2015, it made me a lot worse and I was taken off it and put on Risperdal 1mg and cymbalta 120mg January 2016. I stayed on this for a year with slight improvement and then in December 2016 my psychiatrist reduced my rispiradol to 0.5 when I complained about oversleeping weight gain and lingering mental illness, within 2 weeks this made me very edgy and unsettled so she increased it back to 1mg and said I might have to be on it forever, she then added 30mg mirtazipine. I have been on these 3 for the last year. I am terrified of going back to how I was but I also do not like the side effects or simply being on drugs. Im hesitant to seek advise from the same psychiatrist as the last time I went there she wanted to put me on a mood stabilizer which was March 2017 I never went back... any advise please? Thank you x
  24. i stopped risperdal 4MG "Cold Turkey" and because of that that i can sleep only 3 hours per night. i am wondering regarding 2 issues: 1. How long will it last without start again and tapering ? 2. Can it make permanent damage to the brain so even after slow tapering the problem will persist permanently? If someone did the same, couldn't sleep and can share with his experience it will be great! Thanks
  25. Klipsanen

    I cannot talk!

    Hello, is there anyone else who struggles with talking? i can not talk? I used to be so talkative before my medication. My brain is just a huge lump of fog nowadays. Every now and then i only answer questions when asked and only with one word. I can't get any more words out of my mouth, cant even think! Will this problem go away when getting off of medication? (Risperdal) or is it just a part of anhedonia? (Emotional flatness) this problem ruins my relationship with everyone! Sorry for short post, had struggle even write this! Sorry about my english too!
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