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  1. It's a simple question. What makes you feel better? Or at least, what helps you stay strong when things are at their hardest? Do you journal? Meditate? Did you change your diet? Start knitting? Who's work speaks to you? For me, I started tracking my daily happiness on a scale of 1-100. I figured if I could get myself to an average of 51, then the scale would tip just enough in the positive direction to justify a life worth living. This was such a modest goal that I found that hitting 51 over the course of a week was possible even if I had multiple crap days that clocked in at like, 23. Having something so concrete kept me grounded even if I was feeling like an emotional tilt-a-whirl. I'd love to see what everyone is doing to self-soothe, and whether or not anyone has come up with any strategies that helped them get through their day to day. Get specific! Pontificate! We're all so strong to still be here, so share what's in that unflinching will.
  2. drugged

    Massage therapy

    Wondering if anyone here has used massage therapy as part of their general self-care toolkit while tapering. When I was running a lot I went for a trigger point massage every couple of weeks, sometimes just Swedish massage for relaxation. I felt it really helped the blood circulation in the capillaries of my muscles and the trigger point work definitely helped with pain over time. I haven't been able to get back to getting a regular massage as I used to know them, with deep pressure, but I found a masseuse here that I'm going to try only I'll specify less pressure. Even so, I know from experience that, when I haven't been for a long while, I can feel quite ill for 2 - 3 days after the first few treatments. Not necessarily muscle pain though there's some of that but more of a just feeling sick. My hypothesis is that this is from toxins being moved out of the muscle tissues and into the blood and lymph. Anyway I am definitely full of toxic chemicals and I was thinking that maybe the manual manipulation might help spur a bit of neuronal growth and remodeling in the periphery, also. Just thinking here. I have an appointment this Thursday and I know I'll feel sick through Friday, maybe Saturday. To get full benefit I'll have to get a massage once every couple of weeks until I stop feeling sick afterward. That's what previous experience tells me ...
  3. I've got some confusion going on about this. Don't know if it is "me", Celexa, post taper, or being sick with a couple of bacterial infections. Or all of the above????? About two weeks back, a friend (over brunch) told me not to talk about my imipramine taper, she said it was old and no one really wants to hear it. The truth is, I never told her about it while I was going thru it. I basically didn't really talk to anyone, except a few who have my back covered. I felt bad. Like I lost a friend. I know I did not innundate her with it. Post taper with the insomnia being so bad, I have stayed in on weekends to try and nap. This is Jupiter Florida. It is beautiful here and I haven't been enjoying the outdoors. I've been 'holed up.' I am findig that I have trouble returning calls. I haven't really been making calls either. I have had lots of issues lately, both physically/personally and don't want to be a broken record. I have also been wondering about having outgrown two friends. You know, reaching a saturation point. Maybe that is healthy. They are not. Other people are not responsible for my happiness. However I am going thru a spell here. I don't want to talk about being sick, I sound like Debbie Downer from SNK I don't feel well. I feel a complete lack of motivation. Everything is an effort, including emptying the dishwasher. Can we talk about this and your experiences, thoughts.....so glad I found you all
  4. I’ve been on Wellbutrin for 20 years. Since November 2018, I've started tapering from my initial dosage (300-mg per day). I'm down to 200-mg per day. If I could sum up what Wellbutrin has done for me, I would say this. The monsters that Wellbutrin imprisoned for 20-years are slowly escaping now that the prison itself is slowly breaking down. And I’m once again left with dealing with issues, old relics which caused my depression in the first place. I suffered much abuse as a child and as a result, I had a lot of anger. As a teen, my controlling parents abandoned me and then in my twenties, when I was too lost, angry and hopeless, and I didn't have life skills developed enough to function in this world, they threw me to the wolves because I wouldn't cooperate with them because I was tired of their s**t. After a shrink experimented on me, I was finally placed on a benzodiazepine. After suffering from weird side effects, fearing permanent damage to my body, without my doctor’s knowledge, I slowly tapered off the stuff. My doctor was useless and had the deer in the headlights look when I showed him the damning research I did on benzodiazepines. After months of perpetual fatigue, I finally went back to my witch doctor and I allowed him to place me on Wellbutrin. I was that desperate. Along with curing the chronic fatigue, Wellbutrin took away all my anger and anxiety, so I could function and work at getting myself out of the terrible situation I found myself in. Fast forward twenty years. My current situation, suffering from withdrawal, has caused me to experience flashbacks in the form of vivid dreams. I believe these flashbacks and the extreme anger I feel are symptoms telling me that I need to work on myself. I married in my 50’s to a man who had two daughters ages 11 and 14. His ex-wife, if I had to guess, suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and is a Narcissistic Queen Mother. My husband’s ex is intrusive, loud, inpatient, and flamboyant. She is easily frustrated, often bursting into rages than can terrify her children. She can be disingenuous and lies in order to get what she wants. The Queen relates to others with superficiality and an air of detachment. My husband’s ex perceived others, including her girls, as a threat to her own survival unless we all relinquish their needs for hers. Queen mothers compete with their children for a time, attention, love, and money. Superficial interest and a lack of attunement to the child's emotional needs are typical of Queen mothers. I don’t think I need to continue with the description because I think you get the point. Her daughters - I get along very well with the youngest girl. However, the older one is going to be just like or worse than her mother when she matures. If I had to guess, the oldest child is an introverted covert narcissist and she is a very cold-hearted individual who gives me the creeps. I have known the girls for two years. From day one, the oldest girl has been distant, secretive and entitled. Being the people pleaser that I am, I tried to bend over backward to please someone who can never be pleased. Here's the situation that triggered my flashbacks. Case in point, two nights ago, the temperature fell below freezing. The oldest girl was going to a party and had nothing on but a slip dress and stiletto heels. Her father and I attempted to force her to wear a coat or jacket, but she outright refused. If I had to guess, she did not want anything covering up her beautiful body – or so she thought . I finally gave her my fancy sweater to wear. After coming home, the next day, she proceeds to prance around the house with not much on and obsessively complained that she is cold and demands that the house be warmer, and she wants a heater for her bedroom. Me, like the people pleaser that I am, I gave her my heater. That night both I and my husband were very cold. He didn’t appreciate me giving up our heater and he pointed out the fact that she was willing to go almost butt naked to a party on an extremely cold night but then she came home and b*tch** about the house being cold and she wanted it warmer. That’s the reason he didn’t cater to her demands to increase the temperature. At the dinner table the next day. I joked with the girls that I would clean their rooms for $20 per week. These two girls are so entitled and lazy that their grandmother tries to bribe them to motivate the girls to ‘consider’ keeping their rooms clean and organized. They both said no. I then jokingly told them that they should ask their grandmother for $30 a week. They could keep $10 and I’ll clean their rooms for $20. After long silent consideration, the youngest daughter said she would split the money 50/50 with me. However, the oldest said that she would have me clean her room in addition to me washing her bed sheets and making up her bed. She said I should be thankful if she gives me $5 out of the $30 for my efforts. This is a fine example showing the characters of the two girls. The youngest one endears me to her – the oldest repels me. That night, after getting to sleep, I had a series of dreams. The theme running through the dreams was – my inability to take care of myself. Here’s the dream series: I’m at my childhood home. Its morning, I went into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I wanted to change my habit of not taking care of myself. My mother, in lightning speed, like a wolf spider exiting its den, opened her bedroom door and rushed into the kitchen to attack me for making noise. I had to abandon making breakfast and go to school. During elementary, junior high and high school, I suffered long periods of time starving. My mother was a hateful woman who used every opportunity she could to destroy me. The dream changed and there was another scene. I was a twenty-something woman. After spending a few hours with a man, my intuition told me this man was a heartless uncaring person. I told my father my thoughts in hopes of figuring out everything I had experienced while on the date. My conclusion was I wanted nothing to do with him. But my father talked me out of trusting my intuition and told me to give him a chance. As a result, I spent years being abused by this man because I tried to make it work with him. He turned out to be a psychopath and hurt me so bad, in one regard, I will never recover from. The dream changed again, and I was a teenager. My self-absorbed, sister and hateful mother were very controlling. I had little money, working as a part-time nanny. I decided I wanted to learn to cook. I always wanted to learn how to make cheesecake, so I purchase the ingredients. No sooner than I had placed them on the kitchen table then my mother and sister came running, like two hyenas into the kitchen to see what they could rip off me. They proceeded to chase me away from my ingredients and push me out of the house. They made the cheesecake and ate it themselves. I didn’t even get a crumb. I woke up angry. I told my husband about the dream and then related it to his oldest daughter. Now, I believe he thinks I have mental issues. No…not his daughter, the one who has somatic narcissist traits and treats everyone, including him very, very poorly. I wasn’t going to wait a week or so to get my sweater or my heater back. The oldest girl never gives anything back unless I beg and beg and beg her. Cold as ice, acting put out, she grudgingly gave me my heater and sweater back. I believe my current situation reminds me of my past. I believe my anger is telling me I’m dealing with the oldest girl incorrectly. I believe I need to stop people pleasing and have nothing to do with the oldest girl. I’m in a difficult situation because the father already told me he loves his children more than me. I believe that an informal given that a parent loves their children the most in this world. But he didn’t have to say it. So, I have not interfered with how the girls treat their father. I didn’t remind them to call him nor did I suggest they get him a gift. Case in point, they did not remember to call him for his birthday, nor did they get him a birthday or Christmas present. The oldest and to a certain extent the youngest treat their father like their mother does – he’s just an ATM money machine. God help him. I believe I need a support group while I’m healing so that I don’t talk to my husband about my recovery and to get some support so I don’t fall into any trap his oldest child might set for me. Does anyone have any suggestions? Has anyone gone through what I have gone through or are going through now? Thanks!
  5. ShakeyJerr

    Share Affirmations

    I didn't see this anywhere else on here... And if it belongs in another section, then of course please move it there... I think it would be helpful to have a place to write down our affirmations - our good words to ourselves and each other - so we can record encouragement and spread the hope and love. I'll start: We are each of us going to get better. The timing and the exact steps may be different, but we are not alone on this road. We are good people in need of healing, not bad people being punished. Our infirmities do not define us - our hope does. SJ
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