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  1. Twenty years ago this fall, I started taking paxil. I was also prescribed clonazapam, and used that for a while: years. But paxil has been my darling. There every day for me in its pink pantsuit, waiting with its special odor and taste "the pink pill" after 20years, is now "the red pill". Much more awake, married (stable), two kids, I don't want to mess a good thing up (stable). And yet (stable), I would like to know of my dear brain's inherent capacity (stable) and its elasticity. I wonder (stable) of who I am now. I am no longer the 25 year old "kid" who was looking for a way to cope with the life she had created. I've learned to more than cope. I've learned to thrive. Is paxil (stable) part of that? If we part ways (stable), will I be me?
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