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  1. Hey everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself and let you all in on my journey and discontinuation of antidepressants. I am 28 years old and just ended an 11 year relationship with AD's. There was so much shame I felt being on these drugs. I felt like I was this great person because of the pills I was taking and nothing more. I wouldn't dare tell a soul I was taking antidepressants for fear that they would then see the pill and not me. Make sense? I said goodbye to Sertraline in November 2017. After completing yoga teacher training and having this new perspective of myself and my life, I started to actually feel the chemicals that weren't meant to be in my body. I had tried tapering off of Sertraline 3 times prior to the last over the past few years. The previous tries I would make it about a month or two before surrendering back to the pills to make myself feel better if I started feeling sad or uneasy. This time was different. VERY different. This time I started with intense research. I wanted to discontinue the dosage but this time was for real; I would do my homework and get off of these things once and for all. And what I found first broke my heart, made me angry and then gave me hope. The anger is still present when I try to find a reason 'why' people are enslaved to these prescription drugs. The research I found led me to this site, and I continue to research the effects and harms that these medications actually do to people, unbeknownst to them. The cause of our sadness is residual, stagnant energy trapped in our bodies from a traumatic event or life experience that changed our perspective of what is. When we take these medications, we are never actually dealing with the source of our problems, rather than masking it over with a clouded perception of reality. I used to love my prescriptions. Even after I would attempt to quit, that love would return after I felt 'better' taking them again. I was prescribed my first antidepressant when I was 16. I was missing a lot of school because I slept in too late. I just loved my sleep. Eventually, I was sent to the PCP to see what could be done about this sleeping problem.. Well, her answer was Citalopram (Celexa). This was the beginning of a battle I never wanted to be involved with but here I am. And P.S. the sleeping issue was not resolved in any way thereafter. To keep it short, I will just give you a brief history of how my dance with prescription drugs evolved after that: 2006 Celexa (Citalopram) 40 mg & Adderall XR 75 mg (a lot of the times more because I was heavily addicted) 2007 Citalopram & Ritalin (don't remember mg) .. soon after Vyvanse (don't remember mg) and finally to Amphetamine Salts due to unpleasant side effects from the Ritalin & Vyvanse.. ** indicates time period where Amphetamine Salts were prescribed 2008 ** Citalopram 40 mg-> Effexor XR 75 mg after a psychiatric evaluation (which I now understand was due to the medications and the effect they had on me mentally ... psh) 2009** Effexor XR 75 mg - Paxil (Paroxetine) 30 mg due to the INSANELY high cost of Effexor without insurance I was forced to wean myself off and switch 2010** Paxil 30 mg-> Sertraline 50 mg due to weight gain and lethargy 2011-2013 Sertraline 50 mg -> Wellbutrin (Bupropion Hcl) 75 mg due to sexual side effects and wanting to feel alive again 2013-2017 Wellbutrin 75 mg -> Back to Zoloft (Sertraline) 75 mg because the anxious side effects of the Wellbutrin made me uneasy and Sertraline seemed to be the only AD that had the least side effects at the time 2017 Sertraline 75 mg -> slow taper to 50 MG for two weeks -> halving the dosage & following this pattern until there was nothing -> 5 HTP 50 mg & 1200 mg Fish Oil NOW = 1200 mg Fish Oil and becoming accustomed to an Ayurvedic diet along with daily yoga practice**** this is HUGE and one of the main reasons I have remained clean from AD's Now, almost two months clean from prescription drugs I can say that there is still lots of work to be done. When you go through your teenage years and early twenties on AD's, you need to relearn how to interact and react as there is no longer that pill keeping you numb. Everything becomes real and raw. There are still days that I have my emotions consume my entire being in a negative way and I am still working on this. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. As of right now, it seems as though I am taking off from where I left off at 16 years old. This means emotionally and re actively along with maturity and sexuality. As many of you can relate, I could go on with this topic and how it has effected my entire life for ever and ever. There will be more posts that follow in regards to these drugs and how we can help each other become clean and free once again as we were made to be. Love and blessings to you all <3 we CAN do this..we are all in this together! LB Anti-depressants controlling tools of your system Making life more tolerable, making life more tolerable. The Unthinking Majority - Serj Tankian
  2. Hey I am girl from Denmark. I am on my way of Adjuvanz (aka Vyvanse - see this post) and risperidon risperidone . I feel its quite hard. Specially the risperidon has a lot of withdrawal symptoms such as tiredness, mood swings, strange feelings at my skin and whole system. I started at 0,75 mg and now i am 0,40. I tried to stop for two days ago, but to day it has been totally awfull. I wish there was a guideline, which could show me for how long the withdrawal symptoms would last. Adjuvanz is now 70 mg. Starting with 120 mg. Its not so hard yet, but I think it will be harder, when I get down to 50 mg and below. I am glad, that I found this forum and hope to get helping advice and maybe being able to help others.
  3. (edit: sorry, thought the below code would show up as nice organized tables for yall. i'll fix it when i feel less knackered) Date Dose Time Medicine Reason Prescribing MD 3/2012 - 7/2015 37.5 mg 4am-6am Effexor XR Anxiety/Depression Pdoc 1 (retired spring 2015) 7/2017 - 9/2015 increased to 150 mg 4am-6am Effexor XR intrusive thoughts Pdoc 2 (stopped accepting insurance) 7/2014 - 7/2015 50 mcg 4am-6am Levothyroxine Hypothyroidism Endocrinologist (cleared me to let my GP handle my thyroid disorder) 7/2015 - present 37.5 mcg 4am-6am Levothyroxine Hypothyroidism GP 8/2016 - 5/2017 20 mg to 60 mg 4am-6am Vyvanse Fatigue Pdoc 3 5/2017 - 2/2018 60 mg 4am-6am Vyvanse Fatigue Pdoc 3 2/2018 - 5/2018 decreased 50 mg 4am-6am Vyvanse Decreased due to heart palpitations Pdoc 3 5/2018 -present 250 mg morning 125 mg afternoon 125 mg Armodafinil Fatigue Sleep doc Other notes: I've had my Vitamin D, Iron, B12, and thyroid levels checked at least once a year since 2014. - Most recent sleep study in February 2018. - Sleeping with an APAP since March 2018. Getting a CPAP titration in a couple of weeks because it keeps waking me up every night despite my getting over a dozen adjustments with the sleep tech. - I don't plan on stopping the other drugs. I'm only interested in support for tapering off Vyvanse. - In the past, I tapered from 60 mg of Vyvanse to 50 mg. I took 55 mg for three days (it was the last of my 60 mg prescription, so I couldn't taper longer than that) without noticeable withdrawal. I started 50 mg on day 4. Then on day 5, I had a bunch of work stress and family stress and felt super buzzy/tired for the next week. Considering tapering more slowly, maybe in 2.5 mg intervals. - I honestly feel pretty crappy today. buzzy, tired. been focusing on eating lots of protein (grilled chicken), vegetables, drinking lots of water. Super stressed at work but honestly I don't know when I *won't* be stressed about work. Diary: 5/30/2018 Time Dose and med Symptoms 5 am am 150 mg Effexor XR 125 mg Armodafinil 37.5 mcg Levothyroxine 45 mg Vyvanse None 8 am n/a Tired 11:30 am 125 mg Armodafinil tired/low motivation/buzzy/mildly nauseaus/mild hot flashes/forgetfulness
  4. Celen

    Celen

    Hi I am 43 and have been on numerous psychiatric drugs for over 20 years. I’ve been diagnosed with so many different mental health labels and have been on psych drugs for all. Over the last 8 years I have been basically bedridden. During the past two years I’ve had to fend for myself when I decided I wanted off all these pills. They have only made me worse. 2 yrs ago I came off cold turkey Abilify, Latuda and 20 mg of fluoxetine. I felt great until 3 weeks in the withdrawals set in. I haven’t felt well since but have managed to wean off 70 mg of vyvanse, 1 mg of clonazepam, 15 mg diazepam and 10 mg of fluoxetine. I am now working on the last 10 mg of fluoxetine. After that I’ll start tapering my trazadone or more of the benzos. All-of this has been a nightmare, nausea,vomiting, headaches etc. I can not leave my house most of the time because of debilitating anxiety. I guess what Im looking for here is information, support, and ideas on diet ( no gallbladder and severe GERD) and tips on helping withdrawal symptoms. I feel like I can’t think properly,my memory is shot and right now I really need some hope. Also I’ve gained 70 lbs.
  5. Hello all, I had a very traumatic childhood in which I was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally by my father. After graduating high school, I moved out of state in an attempt to save myself from being a victim any longer. About 6 months after I had moved out, I was at my breaking point. I had been going to my college's counseling center for 4 months, but only found myself feeling worse and worse. Here I am, 2.5 years later, and am on prozac, vyvanse, seroquel, and hydroxine. I want to begin tapering off of these meds, as I already know that my body has been damaged by them. In fact, the prozac has caused me to have scary thoughts, and in response today my doctor wanted to increase the prozac from 40 to 60 mg, reduce the seroquel, and start me on trazodone. I hate the way I feel on these medications and want to get of them, as they have made me into someone I am not. I feel very absent minded, now struggle immensely with schoolwork where I used to be in all advanced classes with a 4.0, and am unable to work as I have previously reached my breaking point when trying to work and go to school full time. I am engaged to a wonderful man who supports me in every way possible, and is ready to take on this journey with me to get off of these horrible medications so that we can live out our lives together. I am concerned about what may happen when I taper off, such as becoming unable to do my schoolwork at all (which has happened before and I had to take a year off of school), but do not want these medications to do more harm to my body than they already have.
  6. Hi! I'm new here. Thanks for your post topic (moved from ZayKayWill's intro topic) about ADDERALL withdrawal: I have been taking prescription amphetamines (ADDERALL & VYVANSE) for 16 years. Looking back, I was addicted to the new “healthier” self-esteem, confidence, and mental benefits by my first pill; I was 29 yr old. I became more extroverted, articulate and focused like a laser. I never wanted to feel any other way, even for a second. My diagnosed ADD improved right away and I was doing great. I doubled my salary in just a few years. I became a better writer, I created more artwork, and I had more friends. I was managing people and projects at work and I was sought out by others as a leader. I was thriving! Tolerance grew. My dosage increased and I was being prescribed higher than the recommended dose. But who cared because the pills were a miracle. The Psychiatrist and I agreed that I’d need these pills for “the rest of my life.” This seemed to solve many of my problems for over 10 years until ADDERALL became the bigger problem. I started to feel bad, even with the pills. I became dysfunctional and unreliable. And now, I needed the pills to function at all, to do anything. To get up. To make a phone call. To check my mail. My life was centered on obtaining and taking ADDERALL every few hours to function. I was in serious trouble. I precipitously become a real-life drug addict. Today I am in withdraw. I have been in withdrawal for about seven months. Withdrawal symptoms do not go away. There is no escaping it, and there is rarely any peace. This means I suffer from unclear and disordered thinking every second of the day. I can't engage in, or start and finish anything. I am uncomfortable inside my heart and mind, 24 hours a day. This creates relentless anxiety and uneasiness because I know ADDERALL can cure my suffering instantly with one pill. But I can't take that pill--EVER AGAIN. My anxiety intensifies because I know this. My obsession to do the right thing demands constant attention. I work hard to hide my problems. It's like trying not to cry in front of someone. It's the kind of repression that always mess you up in the head. It would mess up anyone. But I feel like I have to keep up with everyone else. I hold myself up to compare with all the people who have not been made dumb and tired by ADDERAL. Then I feel guilty because I can't keep up. It makes me feel like I've failed myself and others. This struggle makes me tired. Very tired. Thanks for letting me share!
  7. So here we go... About 6 months ago I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD. Initially my doctor prescribed me Lexapro for my depression and I stopped taking it after around 5 days because it made me feel terrible. He decided to put me on Wellbutrin 150mg because of my depression and lack of motivation. The 150mg didn't really do anything for me so he bumped me up to 300mg. When he wrote me the script for the 300mg, he also wrote the vyvanse script for my ADHD (Initially 30mg now at 50mg). So i started taking the vyvanse and Wellbutrin at the same time. They worked very well at first and I started doing better at work, school and i started going out more with my friends. But after a couple months, the side effects really hit me. I would take my meds around 6:30am and I would start to crash around 10am. This was not ideal because I still have classes all the way up until 2pm. When I crash, I have a very cloudy, foggy feeling in my head and I can't think straight. It gets worst and worst everyday and I don't know what to do. I am a chronic marijuana user (multiple times a day). My doctor is aware i smoke and he told me that my chronic use of the drug contributed to my depression. I started smoking only a few times a week. My new meds started to work and I wasn't smoking weed anymore... Until the crash began to be too much on my head. Marijuana has helped me sleep, eat, interact with others, be happy etc... So here are my questions... 1. Are there any other good substitutions for Wellbutrin that isn't an SSRI? 2. Should I continue to smoke marijuana? If not, why? 3. Is there anything that will help my energy levels besides caffeine, medication and better health choices (I've tried a lot of them) Any other recommendations will help P.S. It will take a lot to convince me to stop smoking
  8. Used Remeron for a couple of months, and was weirdly content at all times, but also zombie/lethargic/sedated, and it increases my adhd symptoms/stops mt adhd meds from working. Meh, ill write more later. Been lurking on this forum after my first taper attemt was to impatiemt, and backfired after 2-3 weeks. Got a sore throat todat, and feeling a bit sick, not sure if it is from tapering or if I'm actually getting a cold. Feel sick from time to time, that is probably due to cutting Remeron from 7,5 mg to half of that. Was on 7,5 (from 15) for 3 or 4 weeks, and it was fine, except that I was still umable to get anything done. A lot of my meds history indicates that I'm a poor metaboliser, and when I read that the antihistamine effect was full even on small doses og Remeron, I dropped to the last dose of 3.75. A little trouble with sleeping, but melatonin helps. Eating got better after adhd meds was increased, cuz now head works better. Im not spaced out. Basically a nuber of symptoms coyld either ve tapering symptoms, or; because reducing remeron might give more room for adhd meds to work, side effects of Vyvanse. After dropping remeron I have washed clothes for the first time in 1 or 2 months. Yay! Meh. Need to have patience. When Remeron tapering is done I need to look on my adhd dose. Writing symptoms & diary is a good idea. Lasted for 2 weeks, perhaps itnwent south when I started with Remeron. Didn't know it blocked histamine receptors, know from experience that antihistamines and ritalin made me so "woosy" I could not walk straight. Yeha, Remeron, and also tapering, messes up my adhd. Big time.just look at this post. Took it to reduce ptsd symptoms, sleep more and eat more. Not having so many triggers now (change of situation), so going to try to use adhd meds alone. Being so sensitive to meds it's not tempting to spend several months trying out something that is likely to give too troublesome side effects. As in not functioning. Want to cook, take out trash and get stuff done, not play app games all day and too litle energy to shower or change a light bulb. I'll sort out my introduction later.
  9. Hi all - It seems pretty clear that I've tapered too quickly off from Viibryd, but what now? My situation is a bit complicated because I'm on a few medications to help me sleep. My symptoms right now are severe fatigue, cognitive issues (brain fog, spaciness, lack of focus) and akathasia at night. Pretty worrisome stuff as I'm a Director at tech company and I need to be on point = / (yes, stress isn't helping my cause). I think I should reinstate, but I'm not sure if I should at 5 mg, 10 mg or higher. Please see below and thanks in advance for your help. SSRI and Adjunct History: -At age 33 started Lexapro 10 mg and from summer 2012 to summer 2014 worked great for GAD, OCD -Lexapro 10 mg seemed to "poop out," but with new symptoms of difficulty concentrating/brain fog so upped to 15 mg and then 20 mg over remainder of 2014. Anxiety was still managed but my P Doc and PCP believed it was depression symptoms (hence increase) -Added Abilify early 2015 - did not help with cognitive issues and gave me akathasia so discontinued -Cross-tapered to Viibryd 20 mg during summer 2015 - still no anxiety, but still dealing with brain fog. Side effects were worse than Lexapro with upper and lower GI issues -Over past year went up to 30 mg Viibryd - no anxiety, but still brain fog -Spring 2016 - Sleep got progressively worse which made it difficult to determine whether cognitive issues were more from lack of sleep or lack of appropriate SSRI dose -Spring 2016 tried Rexulti - no help so tapered off -Current - 0 mg Viibryd (tapered recently, though too fast) Taper: From 30 mg to 20 mg from 6/20/16 to 6/30/16 (two weeks on 20 mg) From 20 mg to 10 mg from 7/1/16 to 7/14/16 (two weeks on 10 mg) From 10 mg to 0 mg (3 days), then up to 5 mg (3 days) then 2.5 mg (2 days) and now 0 mg since 7/23/16 Additional medication history: -From ~2014 to early 2016, took 5 mg valium suppository as needed for chronic pelvic pain - able to stop due to successful physical therapy -From June 2015 to now, taking 75 mg (yes 75, not 750) gabapentin to help sleep/akathasia -From May 2016 to recently, taking 0.5 mg lorazepam for sleep (recently tapered this to 0.25 mg) -Took propranolol 20 mg for about a week in mid-July 2016 due to severe akathasia (assumed due to Viibryd withdrawal). Tapered down to 0 mg over following week -From summer 2015 to now, take 10 mg Vyvanse as needed for focus (more days than not) Current supplements: -5 mg melatonin nightly -200 mg L-Theanine x2 day -150 mg Magnesium Glycinate x2 day -5000 iu D3 1x day -1000 mg Omega 3 fish oil x1 day
  10. Hi I'm Lauren, I'm 24, and have been on and off meds since I was 18. I was put on 5mg of lexapro at 18, with strattera 70mg for ADD. I was on both for about 2 years, strattera did nothing for me. And I tapered off lexapro slowly after two years with no problems except brain zaps for a few weeks. Depression never came back. I had a baby when I was 21, and came down with post partum depression and was put on Wellbutrin for 2 months. It made me feel crazy, very up and down and much more depressed so I tapered off quite fast, and was fine afterwards. Suffered no real withdrawal. I was then put on adderall xr 10mg twice a day for ADD the end of 2012, it helped my anxiety and my focus immensely, but I then became allergic and stopped December 2013; I was then started on concerta 30mg for about a week, but it made me feel like a zombie, and also became allergic..so my doctor switched me to Vyvanse 30mg, and after 2 months, I am now on vyvanse 50mg and lexapro 10mg. In January this year, I was put back on escitalopram (lexapro) , due to depression and anxiety returning from home issues. I was then upped to 10mg lexapro (actually escitalopram) and began feeling better... Than I felt nothing after about 2 months, and two weeks ago decided I didnt want to be on antidepressants anymore, and started (by myself) alternating my dosages. Huge mistake. I did 5 mg one day, 10mg the next, then 5mg... For only about 5 days. I began to feel VERY depressed and teary and spoke to a friend who uses this site and she told me alternating was very wrong. So deep in depression last week (Wednesday) I drank beer and liquor. Ended up getting too drunk and blacking out very quickly. Quicker than usual. I became erratic, and bumped my head a few times and woke up with a bruise on my head.... Since then, Ive been back on 10mg every day. But have been having headaches since Wednesday, dizziness, listless, depressed, No energy or motivation, and not feeling like myself... Not wanting to converse, I feel out of it, unable to smile.. But this alternates. Two days ago I felt like myself again, and then this comes back. I feel as if Ive been hungover for a week. I am also still on vyvanse, and some days since then, my add meds work and sometimes dont. Today I took my meds like normal, and my vyvanse felt stronger than usual... I just want to feel like myself again. I dont know if this is from drinking with my meds, bumping my head or alternating my dosages for 5 days. Please help. I was fine when it was just me and the vyvanse.
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