Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 21, 2015 Hi Coopergirl, Just had a quick read over your thread and you seem to be doing well. You also appear to have a positive attitude which is a great thing. But as you said PATIENCE!!! I can understand the impatience, because I feel the same way. However, I have read plenty of histories in this site about going too fast and/or early and know that it is best for me to taper at the right time for me not the calendar. I've had one hiccup, which thankfully was resolved quickly after finding this site and I don't want another. Keep up the good work and good luck. CC * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Hi you guys. Having really bad anxiety. Bad intrusive thoughts that are making me suicidal. I don't want to be a weirdo. I can't even hug or kiss my nephew without feeling strange. Is this normal or am I really messed up? Please help. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Remember to change your drug sig to zoloft and what your taking now...they cannot help properly otherwise..you'll be fine 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Thanks Loveandlight..just updated sig. Hoping to find out what to do next. Ready to comply with whatever advice I get from the mods. Very scared right now. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 9, 2015 Moderator Share Posted December 9, 2015 Hi CG-- It's all part of WD, you're getting hit with a wave, it will pass and you'll be feeling better again. Key thing is to not add the secondary anxiety by getting scared. Go back and reread my posts 39 and 131 and apply them to this situation. (((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 BrassMonkey- they have definitely came on and off weeks at a time. Then it'll give me a new thing to worry about lol..it's hard telling myself it's withdrawal when I am in it because it feels so real I just think this must be my life now. It has to get better Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Silly question again, sorry. These intrusive thoughts, are they any reflection of my own thoughts? They seem to be very scary and very unlike me to think these things. thanks so much x Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted January 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hey CG, I just read through your thread after seeing your question in the symptoms section. How are you doing now? What dose of zoloft are you at now? Here are our Zoloft tapering tips: Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline) In case you didn't see it in the other thread: Intrusive thoughts and increased panic? - Symptoms and ... I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hi Petunia, I am doing awful. Very anxious and feel like a monster Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Sorry I am on 22mg now..not tapering for another 2 weeks..following the 4 week rule Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 I just went on the link you sent me! Wow, thank you! I just smiled for the first time today♡ Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hi everyone-sorry to be a pain. I had a weird thing happen to me the other day. I was laying on my couch petting my cat and playing withe his extra skin. My mind told me I was hurting him and I liked it. He seemed to tell I thought that or I was actually hurting him because he moved his head for a minute, once the intrusive thought left I started massaging his neck. I dont know if I sound dumb but I can't stop crying. If I really did hurt him I'd never forgive myself. Please help. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted January 13, 2016 Moderator Share Posted January 13, 2016 If you really had hurt him, he would have done a lot more than just move his head. Animals have an instinct for self preservation and if something hurts they either run away or fight back, they won't just sit there and take it and give you dirty looks. This was just another example of the tricks these drugs can make you mind play on you. Best to brush it off as such because you're not a dad person, just the drugs trying to make you thank you are. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Alua Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hi coopergirl. I just want to reiterate what others have said about the intrusive thoughts. Besides the odd day of feeling very depressed they would have to be my very worst symptom. I can identify with many of the comments you have written in your posts. This stuff twists your mind and makes you have horrific, unspeakable thoughts and feelings. Of course I myself didn't know this at the start. I was initially put on Effexor two weeks and then told to stop it. Ten days later I descended into hell with such strong suicidal and homicidal images in my head. I took myself to hospital as I had no idea about withdrawal. I am tapering six months now and still have the awful thoughts splattered throughout the day. I seemed to have stopped laughing at stuff that just isn't funny so that's good. When I'm having a bad time I think about my options which are 1) keep taking the junk and feel horrific and detached from life to the point I would rather be dead, 2) slowly wean off so that the withdrawal symptoms are diluted enough to function and carry on a normal life or 3) well let's not go there because it's not an option, not what I want and a result of the drugs not the true me. This kind of helps me. These thoughts are a result of and an example of how terrible these drugs are. I'm more accepting of the fact now that it will take a long time to wean and a long time to feel better and I think that acceptance is key along with lots of patience. At the start I wanted a pill to fix me now, then when I stopped them I wanted the pain to go away now. I'm a bit more realistic now. The psych said to me the other day, you will run me about two years after your last pill and say I'm finally starting to feel normal. Big cyber hug to you and please pm if you ever need to. <p>Various benzos 4 months for insomnia prior to Effexor 37.5mg may 2014 for two weeks, Mirtazapine 30mg june 2014 - feb 2015.Pristiq 50 mg Feb 2015. six weeks later attempted coming off with a six week taper. ten days off and it got ugly. Tapering now using compounded pristiq with slow release agent. 37.5 mg 3 weeks, 30 mg 6 weeks, 25mg 4.5 weeks, 20mg for 6 weeks, 17.5 mgs 7 weeks, 20 mg 8 weeks, 19 mg 3 weeks, 18 mg 3 weeks, 17 mg 3 weeks, 16 mg 3 weeks, 15mg 2 weeks, 14mg 2 weeks, 13 mgs 2 weeks, 12 mgs 6 weeks, 11mg 3 weeks, 10.5mg 2 weeks, 10 mg 3.5 weeks. 9mg 4 weeks. Jumped at 8mg currently 16 months free Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Thank you both so incredibly much. It is such an awful way to feel. I know you both know how this is. I really want to thank you!!! Hugs Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 I miss my friend Blue. Rest in peace angel Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted January 23, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 23, 2016 What happened coopergirl? Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 She took her own life. It is very hard to accept. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Tilly Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Dear Coopergirl, It is so upsetting to hear this sad news. What a tragic loss of a young life. Blue was only starting out. Please be extra kind and gentle with yourself during this difficult time and allow yourself to express your feelings and grief surrounding this loss. I will light a candle for you both this evening. Take the very best care and reach out for support when you need it. I hope that Blue has found the peace that she was seeking so relentlessly. Rest in peace, Blue. You are in my thoughts, Coopergirl. Tilly x 1999 - 2004 Paroxetine 20mg -> 2004 - 2007 Citalopram 20mg -> 2007 - short term Trazedone use (insomnia) -> 2007 - 2009 Fluoxetine 20mg -> 2009 - Jan 2012 Citalopram 20mg (Spring / Summer 2012 protracted withdrawal & related agoraphobia) -> 2012 - September Restarted Citalopram - unbearable start up effects. Discontinued in under 1 week -> Oct 12 - October 2014 Escitalopram - 10mg prescribed. Started on 5mg and worked up to 10mg in 2.5mg increments -> Oct 2014 - 5mg; 30/03/15 2.5mg; 15/04/15 3.5mg; 20/05/15 2.9mg; 19/09/15 2.8mg; 30/10/15 2.7mg; 13/11/15 2.6mg. Holding until March. Diet: mostly pescatarianl & lots of veg. Weekly offal for b vitamins. Turmeric, nigella seeds, avocados, apple cider vinegar, coconut products daily. Lots of fluids: water, lemon juice, coconut water, herbal & green tea (decaffeinated). Supplements: vitamin C 4000mg, Omega 3 fish oil - high DPA & EHA, vitamin E 400iu, vitamin D3 5000mg (Winter only - from sun in Spring / Summer), probiotics. Current Symptoms: chronic fatigue, erratic sleep, extreme photophobia, eye floaters, noise sensitivity, tinnitus, cognitive & speech difficulties, dizziness, irregular gait, poor co ordination, severe facial and upper body muscle tension, head and neck pressure. Coping Strategies: good nutrition, cooking, gardening & growing my own food, cycling, dancing, yoga, photography, sewing & creative pursuits, self massage, pampering, meditation, journalling, nature, cuddling cats & humans, laughter & humour, gratitude, self care, aromatherapy, audio books, word games & believing in myself, my potential and my future. "Everything I need is within me" - Shakti Gawain Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted January 23, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 23, 2016 Big hugs to everyone. Rest in peace Blue. We are stronger together. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 Thank you everyone. She was a good friend from here that I am happy I had the pleasure to get to know♡ Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
direstraits Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 do youmean Bluebalu went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 Yes Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
direstraits Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Oh God no.....heartbroken....RIP dear girl. went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Hi everyone- I am currently waiting 2 more days to make my next 10% cut, slow and steady wins the race. I will be down to 18mg of Zoloft and I am all for tapering properly, as I know how much damage can be done with ct or fast taper. I have been on Prozac 10 mg for 1 month starting March 2014, then May 2014 20 mg prozac, continued on that for 6 months, was switched to lexapro 10mg, then a few months later upped to 20mg lexapro, fast taper/partial CT lexapro for 2 months and now I am on zoloft, this is all in my signature I think. I know it is alot. I feel so bad but I will get better. My biggest question is ( and I know I ask alot of questions ), why is it that I was able to meet my boyfriend and have a wonderful few months with him and feel a ton of love and then all the sudden nothing? Please help. I have moments where I know I love him and other moments where I could walk out the door and never look back. Is it me? Is it the drugs? I need help. Please Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Matisse Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Hi cooper girl your thoughts are exactly what I have suffered all my life and I have pure ocd and it's horrendous. I would strongly suggest getting cbt therapy for your thoughts. You are not a monster at all its a very distressing illness and this can be caused by withdrawal. I have had it since I was a little girl and the thoughts are usually based on your worse fears. You will get better from this but I urge you to get cbt so you can learn how to live with and control the thoughts x 13 years on 20mg paroxetine (Within those years did change to fluoxetine, citalapram for short periods but always went back to paroxetine) June/July 2015 switched to fluoxetine After a month severe symptoms had to stop doctors advice. Severe withdrawal tried reinstating 5mg for 5 days after 5/6 months but nothing so stopped. Symptoms in waves and windows. Tinnitus, body shakes spasms, intense migraines and brain ripping apart with hallucinations type things, Akathesia internal vibrations, pins and needles,dp and Dr, and more Feb 2016 8 months off anhedonia, severe depression, constant crying, neuro emotions etc Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 Thank you so much. You have made my entire night. I appreciate it so much!!!! Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
lavendertealatte Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Read through your thread a bit. Your thoughts are not you, you are not a monster. It sounds like you are experiencing obsessive thoughts like Matisse said. 29y.o. Started Lexapro, 15mg in 2013 for anxiety and depression. 9/28/15- Started taper, went down to 10mg, then 5mg by 10/31/15. 1/2016- anxiety, nausea, fatigue, crying spells, sadness, by January. Reinstated back to 10mg. Leveled out. 1/1/2018- Began further taper, down to 0mg by 1/31/2018. Last dose was 2.5mg. Feelings of dizziness during taper recommended by pdoc. Slowed down taper, but still had symptoms of stomach upset. 2/12/18 - Dealing with symptoms of dizziness, anxiety, sadness, stomach upset. 2/20/18 - Reinstating medication with .6mg. 2/21/18 - Emotionally feeling better. Dizziness much improved. 2/24/18 - Went to sleep with extreme feeling of chills. No fever. Fatigue. 3/19/18 - Increased anxiety. 5/1/18- Began therapy. Have trouble with anxiety and GI symptoms. 9/22/18 - Decrease to .5mg. Anxiety, GI, chills. 9/26/18 - back up to .6mg. 10/31/18 - app Curable, feeling distinct change in outlook and anxiety levels decreased. 2/1/19 - not seeing improvement in anxiety. started 10mg Prozac 2/7/19 - up to 20mg Prozac, experiencing chills, tiredness 2/21/19 - tapering down to 10mg Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 How strange that I'm having these thoughts about other things as well. Intrusive thoughts too that feel so very real. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Matisse Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I had and still have horrific thoughts that I even convinced myself were real. I would have thoughts I would harm my family and that I has hurt them. It was pure torture until I got help and learned how to cope and live with them. The thoughts changed all the time. Through cbt I learned how to just be with the thoughts without the anxiety. I got my life back and succeeded at uni and bought a house. Unfortunately now it's withdrawal that has brought my life to a halt. I am suffering anhedonia and severe depression which I have never experienced before. It is truly the most inhumane experience. I hope so badly my feelings return because I cannot exist like this. I hope you seek help so you can gain some control over these thoughts. 13 years on 20mg paroxetine (Within those years did change to fluoxetine, citalapram for short periods but always went back to paroxetine) June/July 2015 switched to fluoxetine After a month severe symptoms had to stop doctors advice. Severe withdrawal tried reinstating 5mg for 5 days after 5/6 months but nothing so stopped. Symptoms in waves and windows. Tinnitus, body shakes spasms, intense migraines and brain ripping apart with hallucinations type things, Akathesia internal vibrations, pins and needles,dp and Dr, and more Feb 2016 8 months off anhedonia, severe depression, constant crying, neuro emotions etc Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 Matisse- you have helped me a lot with your post. I have those intrusive thoughts that I literally tell myself are real and that I am a horrible person. I think of confessing them but that would just open a can of unnecessary worms. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted February 22, 2016 Moderator Share Posted February 22, 2016 Hi Coopergirl--- Those intrusive thoughts are such a pain in the ***. They use to drive me nuts. The good thing is that given time and taper they do go away. "that I literally tell myself are real and that I am a horrible person." The thoughts are not real, they are a manifestation of the drugs digging things out of your memory, distorting them and gleefully playing them over and over again. They have nothing to do with the real you and thinking them does not make you a horrible person. A better response would be "dang, where did that come from, I couldn't possible do something like that." The more a person buys into the thoughts the more power they have to disturb, the less credence you give them the less they can affect you. This is one symptom that self assuredness can really help with. Believe in your core values and they will see you through. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 I appreciate you guys so much. Do your intrusive thoughts ever make you feel like the action you are doing is wrong since you had that bad thought during it? Is this ocd? Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Share Posted March 2, 2016 Please tell me I'm not going crazy. I feel so awful the anxiety is horrendous Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted March 2, 2016 Moderator Share Posted March 2, 2016 You're not going crazy. You have a bad wave going but it will burn itself out fairly soon. Just let the anxiety happen, but don't add to it by getting scared of it. It is uncomfortable but can't hurt you, and will go away in it's own time. (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Share Posted March 2, 2016 Thanks Brass-I think I'm in a wave too. You are right. I'm just keeping busy..its helping Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
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