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lavendertealatte

lavendertealatte: Hello and hello

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Rosetta

The mind is scrambled by the adrenaline and cortisol.  It keeps trying to determine the threat, but there isn't one. So, it tries to find an issue for the person to address.  For each person in WD there is a different focus or obsession on which the mind focuses, but the process is the same.  Some people have health anxiety, some have an OCD issue that is more esoteric, or they have a clutter issue as I do.  Your mind has focused on your religion.  That sounds pretty uncomfotable.  Worrying about faith and salvation probably ranks above health anxiety for many people.  

 

If I were to analogize your OCD issue to mine and tell you how I have struggled to address the issue for the past year with very little success, I'm sure it would feel inconsequential.  Clutter is pretty unimportant compared to faith.  But whatever the issue one's mind has decided to obsess about, I don't think it can be fixed until the adrenaline and cortisol and neurotransmitter imbalance is starting to resolve.  Then, you will get moments or hours of seeing your concerns more clearly and they might even feel simple and easy to resolve.  Once that happens a few times you might consider taking a long break from church.  Right now, you could try staying home to see if it would make you feel better or worse.  Then, go back if you feel worse.  

 

Is the worry over your faith always there?  Or is it only when there is an event at the church that you feel anxious?  Are you able to distract at all if you are not at the church?  I hope so.

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lavendertealatte

Hi Rosetta,

Thanks for the reply.  Yes it's very uncomfortable because it feels very threatening as you say.  That is exactly the word for it. The worry mainly happens with events/groups, and it feels very limiting and distressing to me.  I am able to distract from it when I'm at work and when I am with those who are nonbelievers, I am quite clear where I stand.  It is very strange.  I did decide to take a break this weekend.  I felt like I was fairly at rest and accepting of my situation, and not jumping to conclusions like because I was not participating that must mean I am falling away.  But then I participated in one group time, only to have the anxiety come back, and to feel resistant to participating in the next.  Members in the next group suggested I rest, probably sensing my hesitation, and at that suggestion that I rest, I felt so defeated and downcast.  

I am curious what is your clutter issue?

 

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lavendertealatte

Been practicing meditation in the morning.  If I don't leave for work right away I can get myself into an anxious situation pretty quickly.  Saw a picture of my friend with some of her other friends, and immediately started feeling concerned that there's something about me that I don't know that is pushing people away, that there's some reason why I don't have as many friends as I used to, that I don't make friends as easily, maybe it's the anxiety that is causing people to not want to be around me and not be normal.  Something.  It's so disheartening to not be able to think objectively.

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lavendertealatte

To go back on meds or not, that is the question.

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Surfchick

hi, what dose are you on?

 

i just read your intro thread, i do think a big part of what happened with your symptoms was that you were not using a syringe for quite some time...measuring with a teaspoon? super erratic dosing each day causing total turmoil..rough!  up and down up and down, you never stabilized... 

i know you started with the syringe a few months back? have you been super accurate with taking every day?

If it was me, I would plan an extended hold (with your current syringe dose) for many months..

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lavendertealatte

Hi there.  I just tapered down a little more last week to .5 using a syringe but yeah it's a little tough with the dosing.  How are you doing??  honestly am getting impatient.....  how can such a small miniscule difference matter.. when I explain to my doctors what I'm doing they think I'm whacko.

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Surfchick

ha i know, right! my MDs are shaking their heads at my 1mg per week reductions (currently at 10% month reduction)

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lavendertealatte

Is anyone here... How do you decide what supplements to try?  The list is absolutely overwhelming.  I have been browsing the internet for hours and my head is spinning.. L tryptophan.. vitamin C? 

Then there's.. vitamin D .. which I have had documented deficiency in .. as well as in iron.  is it all connected?!  Is something causing me to be more susceptible to anemia?  B12??

 

I thought I should try a paleo diet but today it has made me feel worse.. more akathisia, jittery feelings, angry/irritable, anxious, and numb/tingly feelings which are new..

 

I tried rhodiola.. that made me feel more jittery as well.  Fish oil didn't work either.  I'm feeling like I really need some sort of supplementation or food change, because I have been in therapy for months now and I feel like I am plateauing.  Also I'm still experiencing loose stools (sorry TMI) every morning since my initial taper.  Wondering if I should consult my doctor.  I have struggled with IBS in the past and thought it was a direct result of the anxiety but now I'm not so sure, maybe it's a sign of something else.  Paleo seems too restrictive for me at this time, too many ways for it to go wrong.  I might just go in the direction of eliminating gluten....

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lavendertealatte

Reinstated back to .6 .. feel a lot better.  wow.

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ChessieCat

I've moved your post about passion flower to the existing topic on the subject:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/10793-passion-flower/

 

If you used google and search survivingantidepressants.org passion flower you can find other mentions of it on the site.

 

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lavendertealatte

Hi everyone,

Ever since weaning I noticed I can't handle many situations like I used to, especially with people, new people, large groups, even small groups are hard, especially I can't take pranks .. I've never liked them but now I respond super uncomfortably.  Basically I'm super sensitive and socially uncomfortable and feel awkward. I started to be very involved in church service while on medication with people but now I find it triggers a lot of anxiety and feelings of failure....    I'm debating whether I should just pull out of everything for sometime .. whether that means a few years or what I don't know, but I'm afraid that it means I'll be pulling out of it forever and it'll just be my new normal to be a hermit and not interact with people since they stress me out.  The other option is to try another medication.    People who are further along in this process, what is your experience??

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