Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

☼ alexjuice: About


alexjuice

Recommended Posts

I'm actually doing fairly well, despite the digestive troubles. I'm sleeping better... last night I slept about 7 hours straight and then had only very tolerable anxiety this morning. I'm not sure how it is all related, because my stress level at work is about the same.

 

Glad to hear you are doing somewhat well. I've been doing better but it's been a rollercoaster six weeks.

 

About the pain... I looked at my notes and it seems I had a pain right under my ribs on my right side even before starting SCD, when I had amoebas. But the pain then kind of changed when I did the diet and seemed to move closer to my abdomen, and it seemed related to walking, almost like a charlie horse.... It's no wonder why doctors dismiss all this... they don't now what to make of it either! That's great you have a doctor who actually shows some concern.

 

Yea, the lesson for docs is don't mess with what you don't understand. Doctors have no idea why my whole insides don't work well. I don't know why they don't work well either. Except I know who made this Frankenstein while they feebly strike a posture of innocent bafflement... I seem to be learning though and making changes and some of the pain I was dealing with has resolved as I really reduced my fat intake... I am glad my longtime doc is compassionate. I feel embarrassed to see him though. He saw me all through the 2000s so he saw he when I was nuts. Sucks that he's my best ally.

 

As for the cravings... one of the things about SCD is that it is a pretty radical change. I've read a lot that you suffer intense carb cravings when you begin a low carb diet, because your whole body, including "bad" gut bacteria, is asking for them. But that it's like an addiction... it doesn't mean you need it, it means you have to hold out.

 

Yes, I've not been successful at getting onto SCD fully. It's not only the sugar cravings... the diet really reorders my head and I sometimes feel safer to just have a few twix and settle down. It's hard to describe. I think years of addictive living created lots of unhealthy coping methods and that certain triggers can bring these to the fore of my mind. Or the diet makes my CNS, which is hypersensitive, fire on too many cylinders. I'm finding my way.

 

From everything I've read I'm thinking I do need to eat fats to help my mood and cognitive ability, but not overdo it because I do seem to have a hard time digesting them. I think eating lots of fatty fish is a good idea...

 

I like this. I am building up my ability to handle animal fats and fish meat (rather than broth/oil) has helped. I want to eat more too.

 

Another weird thing... I don't know if it's related or not, but when I went off the diet my libido sky-rocketed, in a really crazy way.

 

We are opposites here.

 

Things I still believe have helped me a ton and which I will continue to do:

1. Exercise every morning, even intensely, but keep it under 45 minutes.

2. Eat lots of fish and vegetables.

3. Take natural fish oils.

4. Take magnesium.

5. Take melatonin (this I would like to quit eventually because I worry about long term effects).

6. Meditate/breathe deep/be mindful/try to find my center (even if it's just checking in with myself mentally once a day).

7. Not worry if I go through rough patches... just keep going.

8. Keep busy and trust that life will provide what I need to get well if I do my part.

9. Don't ruminate about every little reaction I have to every stimulus... just kind of make note of it and then ignore it (otherwise even something as simple as putting on lotion can send me into a panic attack... this actually happened to me with a lotion that has menthol in it... the cooling sensation was so similar to the "anxiety burning waves" I get that it triggered them. But I just kept using the lotion and just made a mental note of the reaction and then ignored it, and now it's gone!)

 

I'm glad this list is working for you. I'm still somewhat cautious with physical activity but I can probably start to step it up. I'm on board with veggies and fish. I also really agree with your mindset for dealing with ruminations. I am learning how much control I have over my thinking and exercising this control over gives me more control. My mind, if I am persistent and willing, can overrule my brain a lot more now. Feeling in control and accepting reality are, IMO, the most important factors in my struggles with anxiety...

 

I am happy, lemme say again, you are doing well, Nadia.

 

Alex.i

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
  • Administrator

And your appetite's improved, too? That's fantastic, alex!!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Setbacks lately.

 

I binged on sugary foods. Everytime I eat junk food I get sick, sicker than drinking alcohol. I can't fight off the cravings, they are so intense.

 

More brain fog than usual. Life is slipping away.

 

Should I start a benzo taper? When do I know? I think the benzos relieved so much of my early w/d and I still have other w/d symptoms so what if they horrific anxiety and insomnia returns?

 

Fear is better now. I redirect it into anger and this, if not the perfect mental state, gets me out of the fear.

 

I hope everyone is feeling well, thinking well, with all systems operating well on this dreary day in november.

 

Alex.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Alex, has your digestion stabilized?

 

How about getting stevia and sweeten something with that? You get the flavor, more or less. Maybe that would help with the cravings?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Alex, I often wish I could hold onto anger and not let it morph into depression, fear, guilt, etc. I never saw or learned healthy anger or conflict/disagreement. I esp hate when I hear of someone expressing rational angry feelings being labeled as bipolar, oppositional defiant, ADHD...

Any tips on anger as a healthy, useful, transformative emotion?

I hope you feel better soon, Alex. I wish I had known you were in Austin a few months ago. Spent time in Bastrop before the horrible fire. :(

Are you familiar w John Breeding? His work looks very interesting--and horsey. ;)

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment

I am in setbackville. Thanks for the replies.

 

Emotionally not good. Just dammit.

 

I'll be back.

 

I hope everyone is feeling well today.

 

Alex.i

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

I always look forward to reading your posts....and I'll never forget the beautiful message you left in my thread (it was a whle ago, but I was very touched). You seem like a very compassionate, intelligent person.

 

So, I am rooting for you and hope you see some improvement soon.

 

I am muddling through a horrific period at the moment too, so I am thinking of you.

 

Lor (Lor95)

xx

Paxil 20mg 1995 for panic disorder/anxiety.

3 attempts to w/d c/t. Horrific w/d hit after 1 month each time. Straight back to 20mg.

2003-2007: 30mg.

30mg to 20mg slowly over 2007.

20mg to 15mg (liquid) (Jan 2009) - big problems, back up to 20mg (pill) immediately. Recovered slowly.

20mg to 15mg (liquid) (Dec to Feb 2010) - suicidal. Back to 20mg May 2010, could not stabilise.

Dec 2010 to 31/01/2012: 20mg~9.6mg in tiny drops.

21/02/12~9.0

08/03/12~8.4

22/03/12~7.9

12/04/12~7.5

03/05/12~7.1

24/05/12~6.7

14/06/12~6.3

05/07/12~6.0

26/07/12~5.7

17/08/12~5.5

ALSO ON 1MG XANAX

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

Thanks for taking the time to respond so thoroughly to my post. I'm only seeing it now! I was away and had very little internet connectivity which I only used for checking email.

 

The links between diet and mood/physical state you've discovered are interesting. I am so sorry to hear you are having setbacks, and hope you gradually find your way forward again. I tend to be a bit impulsive myself, but maybe have an easier time in a way... For the months I was doing SCD strictly, I suffered a ton with craving sweets. The cravings would just not go away. I'm surprised I didn't cave in (I think only the intensity of my suffering and wanting to prevent it and my mother's support kept me on the diet). But now, having been off the diet for a couple of months, things are better. It's almost as if allowing myself the occasional indulgence helps keep me in control. First I went overboard with the sweets, and got really bad heartburn. But after some time it was like my brain realized that I'd allow some sweets, so the cravings went down. I feed "the monster" a treat every day (I hold out until nighttime) and that seems to keep things in check... also, I've had cravings come up for healthy stuff like fish and vegetables, too.

 

Anyway, it sounds like it doesn't work that way for you, though.

 

What is clear to me is that I have a really hard time saying no to my desires... if I try to reject them, they just grow.

 

Are the setbacks you are going through now related to diet, do you think? I do wish you a prompt recovery!

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

""I binged on sugary foods. Everytime I eat junk food I get sick, sicker than drinking alcohol. I can't fight off the cravings, they are so intense. ""

 

Are you able to tolerate any coconut oil? I find that depending on the situation, taking some will help me fight intense junk food cravings. It doesn't work every time but I thought I would mention it.

 

Hang in there.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses, guys.

 

My head's got a heckuva ache right now, so I'll try to be pretty brief.

 

About three weeks ago, I ate a whole load of sweets there will a lot of consequences. The sweet foods triggered anxiety, sleep probs, impulsivity, weakness... More stuff, I forget.

 

So it's taken a few weeks but I've been slowly getting back to even. I realized I have to stop with these 'diet rationalizations'. I fell to illogic of the dieter, "I am gonna start SCD tomorrow and I won't get to eat any more sweets ever so I can really go to town this time, just this once, because it's the last time." It's just like that with alcoholism, the repeating (perpetually) 'last time'.

 

Last night I was mistreated by an old friend and felt bad. I gave in to some cravings and went to IHOP which, for people outside of the international zone, is a pancake place that serves breakfast dessert under the guise of serving pancakes. So I thought, "it's just pancakes, those aren't that bad." Of course my pancakes came covered in caramel sauce, pecans, whipped cream, blueberry compote (whatthehell word is compote? it's on the menu) and I stopped myself halfway through and left distraught.

 

I've been sick today. So angry and really bad aches.

 

I don't know why it is but my digestive system functions not. Thanks Drugs.

 

I continue to have problems with my voice, wxing and waning. This problem is better than it was months ago. But it is not resolved. Caffeine may or may not be helping? Or both helping and hurting since it seems to faciliate gastric evaporation but also probably makes my LPR worse. But having food sitting in my gut makes LPR worse as well.

 

I really appreciate all the well wishes. I think I will be doing better in a day or two.

 

Alex

 

ps - As always my brain scrambled so expect the errors as I am not up to more proofreading.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Well, at least you've finally convinced yourself about staying away from sugar.

 

Sorry you're feeling lousy today.

 

How about consoling yourself with, say, bacon, instead of sweets?

 

How about Metamucil to get the bowel movements regular?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Yes. I am really really doing better about learning from mistakes -- I am such a bloody slow learner. But for three weeks or so I've avoided sweets and crap carbs entirely, but for Friday night at IHOP. I am feeling better and know that I just can't tolerate garbage right now, not at all. Yes, bacon it is.

 

I will have to look into metamucil, but probably not until I get back.

 

I am flying to New England to visit my sister and her husband plus my extended family for Thanksgiving. I will eat very carefully on this trip. I was on the fence about going or no, but decided that I wanted to go. I expect there will be some challenges but my family up there are very kind people who know me well and will not cause much stress.

 

The time away might do me some good too as I want to get a few things read and just get away. This has been such a long year for me, I am glad to be able to take a few days vacation. Also that I had to spend three days in Houston last month having gastroenterology diagnostic tests done (and I did well there) makes me think it is safe and okay to take a larger vacation with family.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends!

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Gather up those hugs from those kind people, Alex.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

 

Hope you're having a good time w/family, Alex. Every time I see an IHOP commercial, I think of you :unsure: I hope you're feeling well, or at least not 'bad'.

Keep your messages coming - you always manage to make me laugh. With the 45th football game of the weekend on, a laugh is appreciated. A break with reality...please!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment

Hi Alex. I got a juicer from my mom and I make one glass a day. It's helped me so much with my irregularity and I can also tell it helps my symptoms. I don't drink more than one a day because I feel that would shock my system. I had to cut out sweets and chocolate too :(

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

I hope you are doing better and that your trip has been relaxing and fun!

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

Link to comment

I forgot to add that Metamucil is very good. Just be sure to increase the amount you use slowly and drink more water. If you suddenly start taking a bunch of fiber when your body isn't used to it, you can get a stomach ache and a lot of gas. It's safe to just start out with low amounts first.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

Link to comment

Thanks for the resplies guys.

 

I'm tired but doing well. But am so grateful for all the support. I'll try to stop in more frequently over the next few weeks as I am trying some different stuff diet wise and lifestyle wise.

 

Update:

I dropped my JUCO classes. It wasn't worth it. I am considering starting to look for some form of work, even volunteering.

I've been walking daily since I got back from my family Thanksgiving vacation.

I restarted a bit of coffee but I think it's causing problems. I've noticed weird loss of feeling/coldness in my hands and feet (beyond my usual) and it's been following coffee.

I took some l'argentine (1/10th capsule) and had better sex response. There were some other side effects, maybe this is what's affected my feeling in extremities.

I've started physical therapy and am hopeful it will help with sexual function and chronic pelvic pain.

I am eating paleo and plan to mess around. Experiment. Reflux/digestion slowly improving, still problematic.

Dr. Caring is 25% of the way to believing in w/d. She is only 10% towards accepting I am not an alcoholic -- everyone else gives me 99% notadrunk but near 0% for prolonged w/d. I am invested in getting a doctor on board w/ wd, and Caring is my best shot.

I don't have the energy to do what I want to do. This will get better.

 

Love you guys,

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

This may be too expensive but Chris Kresser, http://chriskresser.com/discover-your-own-ideal-diet-with-the-personal-paleo-code, has come up with a system in which you can devise your own paleo diet. It costs $95 and there is a 30 day money back guarantee. (Alto, if posting this is against the rules, please remove)

 

I know what you mean about not having the necessary energy.

 

I agree with you that Dr. Caring is your best shot. It isn't like there is a glut of "wonderful" physicians. In other words, beggars can't be choosers.

 

Thanks for the resplies guys.

 

I'm tired but doing well. But am so grateful for all the support. I'll try to stop in more frequently over the next few weeks as I am trying some different stuff diet wise and lifestyle wise.

 

Update:

I dropped my JUCO classes. It wasn't worth it. I am considering starting to look for some form of work, even volunteering.

I've been walking daily since I got back from my family Thanksgiving vacation.

I restarted a bit of coffee but I think it's causing problems. I've noticed weird loss of feeling/coldness in my hands and feet (beyond my usual) and it's been following coffee.

I took some l'argentine (1/10th capsule) and had better sex response. There were some other side effects, maybe this is what's affected my feeling in extremities.

I've started physical therapy and am hopeful it will help with sexual function and chronic pelvic pain.

I am eating paleo and plan to mess around. Experiment. Reflux/digestion slowly improving, still problematic.

Dr. Caring is 25% of the way to believing in w/d. She is only 10% towards accepting I am not an alcoholic -- everyone else gives me 99% notadrunk but near 0% for prolonged w/d. I am invested in getting a doctor on board w/ wd, and Caring is my best shot.

I don't have the energy to do what I want to do. This will get better.

 

Love you guys,

Alex

 

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment

I will take a look.

 

Also, CS, I warmed up some meat and carrots in coconut oil and had a potent response. I had to evacuate the bowels (this is a good thing) right quick and my stomach was churning all night (I also felt like this was good). The best part was that my voice strength exceeded it's usual power come that time of the night.

 

I've got to wait, I have a rule following strong reactions, before I try more coconut oil but I am intrigued.

 

What reactions have you had to it?

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

From your update it seems like you're struggling back from setbackville. Congratulations on the hard work! That is great to hear about the walking and the paleo diet. I hope things fall into place.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

From your update it seems like you're struggling back from setbackville. Congratulations on the hard work! That is great to hear about the walking and the paleo diet. I hope things fall into place.

 

Hey Nadia-

Yes, doing a bit better. You know how it goes. The ups and downs. I'm learning so much about myself though, and how to deal with adversity. It's tough that I still have the problems I do since I still need to go through a benzo taper. I expect the benzos to be a significant challenge.

 

But, I am doing better. Thanks. How have you been? What are you eating like lately?

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

Hi Alex,

 

Interesting response to the coconut oil. For some people, the brand matters although for me, I don't think it really does.

 

If I eat too much at once, I will get a stomach ache which interestingly doesn't happen when I eat other types of fats. I have to work very slowly in increasing my dose.

 

By the way, due to my insomnia, I have not remembered to consume it so starting slowly is very applicable.

 

Let me know what happens.

 

CS

 

 

 

I will take a look.

 

Also, CS, I warmed up some meat and carrots in coconut oil and had a potent response. I had to evacuate the bowels (this is a good thing) right quick and my stomach was churning all night (I also felt like this was good). The best part was that my voice strength exceeded it's usual power come that time of the night.

 

I've got to wait, I have a rule following strong reactions, before I try more coconut oil but I am intrigued.

 

What reactions have you had to it?

 

Alex

 

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment
  • Administrator

My experience with coconut oil: Feeling pretty good, I tried a Thai restaurant in an out-of-the-way neighborhood. Family-run, seemed fairly authentic. Got a coconut curry, tasted fine. Hour or so later, huge bloating and then, as you put it, alex, a potent response. No innard churning after that -- there was nothing to churn with.

 

Googled and found out, yep, coconut oil does do that for some people.

 

But -- it's delicious and maybe (in smaller quantities) it's just the thing to set your digestion right!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Yes, for many the response would not be a desired one. However, as you say, it could be helpful in my circumstance so I will continue to try it out. We'll see.

 

Hope you are feeling well today, Alto. We have dreariness and rain (which we needed), but rather depressing outside.

 

That said, I am feeling optimistic.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Thank you, I'm doing pretty well, though in a cranky mood today, don't know why. Oh, yeah -- too much to do.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

I don't know how you do it, Alto. Thnx.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment

Hey Nadia-

Yes, doing a bit better. You know how it goes. The ups and downs. I'm learning so much about myself though, and how to deal with adversity. It's tough that I still have the problems I do since I still need to go through a benzo taper. I expect the benzos to be a significant challenge.

 

But, I am doing better. Thanks. How have you been? What are you eating like lately?

 

Alex

 

I am so glad you are doing better, and hope it improves and improves! I'm guess I'd say I'm in the same place... definitely better than a few days ago, but not great. Still fighting. My self-discipline needs work.

 

I'm still working on finding the right balance with food, especially because it seems like my interest in food is what helps me not fall into despair. Luckily I've been craving foods that are better for me, for example, I had a craving for arugula salad with pear and blue cheese this morning, and the other day I ate salmon cooked with an onion, mango, cherry and garlic sauce... sooo good. I am trying to eat a lot of probiotic rich foods. I recently got water kefir grains and have been making ginger beer with them, and I eat kefir and homemade yoghurt and miso. In the mornings I almost always have a smoothie for breakfast: homemade yoghurt (24 hour fermenting so it doesn't have much lactose) with fruit and a little bit of pecans and almonds. Sometimes I have eggs scrambled with goat cheese and vegetables. Then for dinner (which in this country is about 3pm) I have fish, chicken, or meat (trying to make it fish as much as possible) and a vegetable like peas, green beans, broccoli, zucchini, etc. Fruit for dessert. Then at night I almost always have prickly pears with cheese and turkey/ham (if I can find ham cured without sugar and MSG). It's sort of like eating a sandwich, but I'm sure the prickly pears (nopales in Spanish) are too weird for most people. My boyfriend is celiac and that helps me not eat too many carbs. But still, I'm allowing myself to eat bread, tortillas or cake once in a while. This weekend I had carrot cake (homemade with much less sugar than your average recipe). And I have a little square of dark chocolate once in a while. What is horrible is if I have normal over-sweet chocolate like Hershey's or if I eat too much bread. But I think if I don't feed my cravings once in a while they just grow and grow and become more unhealthy. But maybe that is just because I have to stay off of sugar and grains completely for longer and let those cravings die. I'm not sure! My boyfriend right now is reading up on anti-candida diets and alkaline diets. I think in the end those and SCD and GAPS and paleo diets are all onto the same thing...

 

What about you? What kind of paleo diet are you doing? Do you still get cravings?

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Nadia, you can cook for me any time!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I believe that my diet is the primary influence over my health.

 

Currently, I am eating more balanced. Namely I am eating some dairy again. Yogurt and cheese. I want to make another batch of 24hr yogu, maybe tonight. Still no breads, at least not by plans. But I am following up large protein meals with sweet potato or baked potato on occasion with good results so far. Eating spinach primarily but emphasizing all dark greens. I stopped with caffeine last week.

 

I am trying to sort it all out.

 

I am dealing with bone pain and weakness. I think from too long on too exclusive a diet. Reflux still a problem, picking up food at a loud restaurant reminds how weak my voice still is. Also was cramping in my toes, feet, legs, and shoulders. The cramping's improved.

 

Been taking some calcium citrate and trying some magnesium, with a lot of water before bed. Drinking a lot of water helps me tolerate the magnesium, still 25mg is the most I have successfully taken.

 

Setbacks with cognitive function, sex function, and anxiety.

 

I hope you guys are doing terrific.

 

Predictions are my forte and I foresee a lot of upside in 2012 for every single one of us!

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

Hear, hear to 2012!

 

And I think I'm leaning toward the "balance in everything" thing as well... perhaps trying to be too strict about diet leads to bingeing on the wrong foods. At least it seems to work that way for me. It takes such an enormous amount of will to be on a very restrictive diet that the minute I waver on my discipline I have so much pent up desire I go nuts. I also used to be really scared about the effect any little thing I ate might have on me, but when I was more relaxed about it I seemed to do better. It might take a while to find the exact right combo that will still leave you happy and satisfied, but I think you're on your way! It seems to me you are eating healthier now than before, at least?

 

I wish you lots of progress, Alex.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

Link to comment

HI ALEX,I have read every one off your posts this morning.Your story is horrible,what u have been put through.You write so well.Im wondering how old you r?I really think your problems stem from a self centered father.I have learned though that rarely are the people who r supposed to be there for us are.I FEEL THAT YOUR OWN GUIDANCE system is what you should be following.You have looked to others who really were way more fucked up than u.I feel that u r here for a very good reason.I do think you should write a book.I wish you the best in your journey.

Link to comment

Ha! Renee what a nice thing to say!

 

My dad sucks, in my experience anyway.

 

Cheers!

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

And I think I'm leaning toward the "balance in everything" thing as well... perhaps trying to be too strict about diet leads to bingeing on the wrong foods.

 

....

 

I also used to be really scared about the effect any little thing I ate might have on me, but when I was more relaxed about it I seemed to do better.

 

In my case, binging causes setbacks. For me I must avoid some foods because I can't moderate. There are neuro-chemical reasons for this. Really sugary crap causes me to want more crap and then I crash really hard. On the other side, normal food -- I'm not going to avoid for some reason that may/not apply to me. For instance, I did a lot of research into SCD. It's a fine program and I do have reflux problems, but it is designed for very specialized medical problems -- not for w/d caused by psych meds. I was avoiding vegetables entirely that I had had not issue with, simply to comply with the diet. As you it demands 'fanatical adherence'. For instance, I went off legumes and starchy veggies and corn just... because. The things I have problems with -- grains, bread, sugars -- I avoid. Otherwise, I eat sensibly.

 

That said, the GAPS/SCD programs offer a lot of value. I'm glad I've been introduced to broths, and other principles of gut-health and the enteric nervous sys.

 

I'm sometimes the same with fear. Last night I had a terrible reaction after 'trying' something. I ate a large portion of kale (which is really hi in vit K) sauteed in coconut oil (which affects me really strongly, though in inconsistent ways). I was up til sunrise, at times felt my heart skipping, headache, anxiety... and then FEAR. The dreaded WHATHAVEIDONE?!? Still not feeling great, wearing sunglasses until dark.

 

But I am over the fear. I am going to be okay. It is funny in a way. I thought, fleetingly, of heading to the ER. Imagine that. I'm hear because I ate a cup of leafy greens cooked up in coco oil... Course I wasn't going to ER. But it's a part of life. I try my best and am comforted knowing I have always bounced back and I know how better to handle setbacks today.

 

...

And all my well-wishes for a great 2012 for you, Nadia!

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy