☼ alexjuice: About

[alexjuice]

Neither, actually. They reconsidered on their own, within 10 days of the arrest, before I'd even had a chance to hire a lawyer. When I called the lawyer I was gonna hire to tell him I wouldn't need him, the county's fast response certainly surprised him -- considering there was New Years in there as well.

 

I told him I assumed the county, after looking at the case, must've decided that there was nothing criminal to proceed against. He agreed, "less than nothing." But did let me know that the arrest stll goes on my record and process to expunge (if I could afford) couldn't be initiated for 48 months. But, that's not critical right now.

 

All things considered, I'm just going be happy things went my way.

[Whatever]

Alex:

 

I just finished reading your story.

 

You do not give yourself enough credit. You are incredibly strong, insightful, eloquent and funny.

 

And your Father sounds remarkably like mine. I am all to familiar with self absorbed parents who throw money at their children in a cowardly attempt to assuage their own guilt.

 

It is hard for me to read when teenagers lives are stolen like that. It  makes me want to hunt down a group of Big Pharma execs at a golf outing and starting swinging clubs at their heads.

 

You are going to get to the other side and you are closer than you realize my friend.

[Barbarannamated]

QUICK UPDATE:

 

The charges stemming from my arrest on December 25 have been DISMISSED by the country prosecutor. HOORAY!

 

Be back with the story in a bit. Right now, 99% happy and want to share the news!

 

They heard about my boots

[alexjuice]

Yea, Barb. My apologies for underestimating the potency of those boots! Ha.

 

Thanks for all the support. Who knows... With all you guys by my side i might get through this thing alive afterall. :-)

 

Alex

[alexjuice]

Alex:

 

I just finished reading your story.

 

You do not give yourself enough credit. You are incredibly strong, insightful, eloquent and funny.

 

And your Father sounds remarkably like mine. I am all to familiar with self absorbed parents who throw money at their children in a cowardly attempt to assuage their own guilt.

 

It is hard for me to read when teenagers lives are stolen like that. It  makes me want to hunt down a group of Big Pharma execs at a golf outing and starting swinging clubs at their heads.

 

You are going to get to the other side and you are closer than you realize my friend.

 

It means a great deal for you to offer support like this. I mean, seriously, there are so few in real life who have shown any empathy or understanding and, most of all belief in me. Thanks,

 

It's funny you brought up my dad. This morning I lost it with him and finally confronted him on so many things. I'm surprised he lasted on the phone as long as he did.

 

It's just really sad, my father. I really wanted a parent and I got a narcissistic, unreliable, manipulative, passive-aggressive stand in...who wasn't even present to stand in. It's sad too as he is older now and is not a mean human, just someone who made choices that suited him to my detriment. I dont know how to deal with him. He currently pays several of my medical bills that I would have difficulty funding, for a while anyway so he still has power over me... In the end, I'm sad because I'm not sure I can continue to have him in my life.

 

Again, thanks for the supportive words. It definitely helps the mend.

 

Best,

Alex

[Whatever]

I understand the position you are in.

 

I too was financially tied to my father for many years. Once I gained financial independence, realized he would never love and protect me the way I longed for and that the time I spent with him was a painful reminder of how hungry for a father I was...I walked away. I have called him out on things and I think he tuned me out. Anyway, I was in my mid-30's when I became estranged from him. I am 48 now and he has made no effort to contact me. 

[alexjuice]

I understand the position you are in.

 

I too was financially tied to my father for many years. Once I gained financial independence, realized he would never love and protect me the way I longed for and that the time I spent with him was a painful reminder of how hungry for a father I was...I walked away. I have called him out on things and I think he tuned me out. Anyway, I was in my mid-30's when I became estranged from him. I am 48 now and he has made no effort to contact me. 

 

It's such a hard place to be in. So many of the issues between us should have been addressed in the 90s but...of course... I was out of it on Drugs.

 

I don't know how it all turns out. Just a stressor.

 

I'm glad you can understand and it's encouraging to see the way you've moved on. I hate being disappointed by and not having respect for my own father. But it is what is is..

[alexjuice]

Update

 

Continue to have numerous issues in w.d but three have separated themselves to earn my attention.

 

1. Nutritionally, I'm just not right. After taking tons of doctors orders and trying diets, I continue to have bone pain and weakness, loss of feeling in fingers, hardening of the skin in places on the extremities, pains in abdomen and back. But it's hard to fix this because I can't really eat right b/c of...

 

2. Reflux. LPR. I can't use my full voice, can't last the day speaking, wake with pasty acidic coating on my tongue... I can't take a medication and dietary changes just seem to be causing deficiencies.

 

3. Pssd. Just sexual dysfunction, more than Pssd technically since for all I know my sexual problems are from antipsychotics.

 

Obviously other things trouble me. But those affect me most.

 

I swore of coffee a month or so ago but have had watered down Americanos four times. I need fanatical adherence as they say with the SCD diet. No coffee means zero, zip...

 

I can't tell if a thing is working if I reintroduce it. I am so hypersensitive that certain things need to be eliminated. Goal is no sweets, no restaurant food, no alcohol, no OTC medications, no coffee, no caffeine, no new supplements, no grains. And a little luck, wink.

[Barbarannamated]

My parents showed up on my doorstep unannounced yesterday ~flew across the country because i wouldn't ralk to them

I refused to see or talk to them after 25yrs of trying and then they invade my home OMG

I cannot explain the feeling of intrusion unsafety and ultimate lack of boundaries ~

When husband said I was afraid bc sister continues to threaten my life and he continues to provide her with drugs ~his response was "that's just the way she is(sister)"

Wow what a delusional world they are wrapped up in

The kicker was from husband who said'they seemed really hurt that you wouldn't see them'

[Karma]

Alex

 

I had acid reflux bad before I found out that I had celiac disease ... I had been taking a double dose of Prevacid daily, but found out that I didn't have too much stomach acid ... I didn't have enough! I started supplementing with HCL with every meal and dropped the Prevacid. Over time I was able to drop it down to just one HCL with my evening meal and could possibly drop that by now.

 

Test for whether you are producing too much or too little stomach acid. To perform this test: mix one quarter teaspoon of baking soda in eight ounces of cold water, first thing in the morning, before eating or drinking anything except water. Drink the baking soda solution. Time how long it takes to belch. Time up to five minutes. If you have not belched within five minutes stop timing anyway.

 

If your stomach is producing adequate amounts of hydrochloric acid you should probably belch within two to three minutes. Early and repeated belching may be due to excessive stomach acid. Belching results from the acid and baking soda reacting to form carbon dioxide gas. If you don't belch then you most likely have a low stomach acid condition and HCL Betaine may help.

 

Note that low stomach acid can result in development of multiple food sensitivities as abnormally large, inadequately digested food particles are absorbed, triggering an immune response ... leaky gut.

 

Something to consider ... it could be root cause for WD symptoms 1 & 2.

 

Karma

[alexjuice]

Karma,

 

Thanks for the tip.

 

I've recently been trying Betaine HCl w/ Pepsin in smallish doses with meals. I think it is helping a bit with my voice. But I've also developed a chronic cough. BUT (always a but) the notorious cedar allegry season has just started. After 20 yrs without problem, the last two years have been unbearable btwn me and the cedar pollen. I don't know from where comes the cough.

 

Through all of this, multiple gastrotype doctor visits, I've not uncovered whether I have too much stomach acid (evidently the minority) or too little (evidently the majority). It's just always been suggested I take the PPIs or histamiine blockers since they might cover the symptoms either way (though not fix a dang thing). Not that I would take the PPIs but I CAN'T take the PPIs. I am too hypersensitive and have had such bad reactions to each I've tried of desperation.

 

My idiot doctors suggest that I just keep trying others.

 

Did Nexium work?

No, bad reaction.

Did Protonix work?

No, bad reaction.

Did Dexilent work?

No, bad reaction.

 

Well, that still leaves Prevacid, Prilosec and AcipHex!

 

... Take a bow, modern medicine... (Rolling eyes.)

 

My reflux is directly due to stress from w/d. This notion is very confusing to my tummy doc(s). Yes, just like urologists and psychiatrists, I've now gone to multiple gastro's to try to get my insides to work again. This makes me look like a hypochrondiac if they learn of each other but, whatever. I'll keep looking until something competent emerges.

 

This is my dad's fault. Damn him!

 

Seriously, Karma, I will try that tip and see what happens. I put my body through a good bit for all the yrs I was on Meds. Terrible diet. 1-2 packs/day of smokes. 5-10 coffees daily. Beer. Liquor. Drugs. Street drugs. I put on 100 lbs nearly once... And I never had reflux til last March, til I finally got off all that crap.

 

Alex

[alexjuice]

My parents showed up on my doorstep unannounced yesterday ~flew across the country because i wouldn't ralk to them

I refused to see or talk to them after 25yrs of trying and then they invade my home OMG

I cannot explain the feeling of intrusion unsafety and ultimate lack of boundaries ~

When husband said I was afraid bc sister continues to threaten my life and he continues to provide her with drugs ~his response was "that's just the way she is(sister)"

Wow what a delusional world they are wrapped up in

The kicker was from husband who said'they seemed really hurt that you wouldn't see them'

 

Wow, just showed up at the door?

 

Thats the sort of thing my dad might do. In his case, he gets all worked up that he's failed and then goes into panic mode and overreaches.

 

My dad is the guy who steals your lunch money all week long while generally being disingenuously nice to you. At the end of the week, starving mind you, a snap occurs and you yell at him. He is shocked you're angry with him; he's been so nice all week. Sensing the crisis of your hunger, he drives you to the best steakhouse in town and spends $200 on dinner. It feels so good to eat a hearty meal after a lunchless week, so you feast at the Ruth's Chris or wherever. Afterwards, dad waits for a medal as he has come to the rescue just like the GREAT DAD he is! And on Monday he steals your lunch money again.

[Whatever]

Alex:

 

Read my post in the Toxic Family thread. See if you can relate to my description of my Father. What I shared is only the tip of the iceberg. But, like you my Father somehow thinks he should get a "greatest dad in the world" card on Father's Day while forgetting my birthday and my brothers for years, usually because he was skiing in Switzerland or taking a wine tour in Tuscany with some trophy gold digger de jour.

 

This was so maddening and hurtful for years. It's comical now. You are the first person I have encountered who seems to have a Father as delusional, narcisstic and selfish as mine.

[Barbarannamated]

 

My parents showed up on my doorstep unannounced yesterday ~flew across the country because i wouldn't ralk to them

I refused to see or talk to them after 25yrs of trying and then they invade my home OMG

I cannot explain the feeling of intrusion unsafety and ultimate lack of boundaries ~

When husband said I was afraid bc sister continues to threaten my life and he continues to provide her with drugs ~his response was "that's just the way she is(sister)"

Wow what a delusional world they are wrapped up in

The kicker was from husband who said'they seemed really hurt that you wouldn't see them'

 

Wow, just showed up at the door?

 

Thats the sort of thing my dad might do. In his case, he gets all worked up that he's failed and then goes into panic mode and overreaches.

 

My dad is the guy who steals your lunch money all week long while generally being disingenuously nice to you. At the end of the week, starving mind you, a snap occurs and you yell at him. He is shocked you're angry with him; he's been so nice all week. Sensing the crisis of your hunger, he drives you to the best steakhouse in town and spends $200 on dinner. It feels so good to eat a hearty meal after a lunchless week, so you feast at the Ruth's Chris or wherever. Afterwards, dad waits for a medal as he has come to the rescue just like the GREAT DAD he is! And on Monday he steals your lunch money again.

 

SORRY to post that on your thread Alex ¶¶

Yes ~i cut of communications with them (told them altho dad hides stuff from mom) and now 6 months later they hop a plane from PA to CA to check on me with NO warning

[alexjuice]

Karma,

 

I did try the sodium bicarbonate in water test. I found the results, inconclusive. My stomach kind of churned a bit and I felt a pair of small gas releases in my throat, like mini belches. However, I did not burp such that I had to open my mouth and exit th gas, like I might after drinking a Coke quickly, say.

 

I've tried a bit of Betaine HCl and had some mixed results. I've felt a bit of burning warmth on a low dose... But, I realized I was taking concurrently with my digestive enzymes which are very potent.

 

Overall, heartburn type reflux is getting a it worse, but I think I am getting better overall. My voice is definitely improving.

 

I also believe that malabsorption is causing havoc, particularly with bones. I don't know the exact nature of the problem. Maybe I have too little of some mineral so my bones are being robbed to keep blood levels in range. If this is the case I don't know what I am deficient in, cal, mg, phosphorous, etc... On the other hand there may be other explanations and my bone issues might be better viewed as a calcification of the joints not due an insufficiency per se but intestinal permeability or something like...

 

Or, like everything, I could have no clue.

[Altostrata]

alex, have you had a bone density scan or other diagnostic? If your bones are injured, there are ways to identify it -- it's a physical change.

[alexjuice]

I will look into some tests soon I think.

 

I had this same problem after taking two fractional doses of a PPI and it resolved in a couple months then came back in early December.

 

Im gonna talk to a couple people next week, and get labs back too. After that, I'm going to be more aggressive with the bone stuff. I am optimistic that I can get back to feeling okay.

 

Always something... My idiot gastro (former) recommended a ludicrous, iin retrospect, fiber free diet for my atypical reflux which, naturally, made things much worse and a good dose of PPIs, which was ludicrous in real time. I will eventually find out how to stop paying doctors to destroy me.

[Barbarannamated]

I dont know much about nutrition (equine nutrition-yes) but fiber-free --YIKES

 

I am finding 'bad clues' in every doctor I see on TV/news/fictional characters/in person

Iatrogenic PTSD

[Karma]

Alex

 

It sounds like you have low stomach acid - if you had sufficient stomach acid you would have BELCHED. If you are getting enough betaine HCL in your digestive enzymes then maybe over time it will help. In the meantime you can work on rebuilding your nutrient foundation.

 

You said you have malabsorption ... you will need magnesium. Magnesium helps the body absorb other nutrients. When I was first diagnosed with celiac I worked up to about 2000 mg magnesium glycinate daily. Over time I've been able to reduce that amount, but I still take 800 mg magnesium daily. I take it to bowel tolerance. (But keep in mind, I'm still weaning off of my meds and I have celiac disease.)

 

If you have malabsorption you need to get a full iron panel and see how much serum iron and iron saturation you have. Having low iron can mean that other supplements don't work well in your system; in fact, your own thyroid won't work well your system if you have low iron.

 

Bones need sufficient levels of vitamin D(3), magnesium and calcium ... also vitamin K, but you get that through your leafy green veggies. One should also ensure a balanced amount of protein in the diet to help the bones.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT take any of the so-called osteoporosis drugs. Osteoporosis drugs poison the osteoclasts cells. Osteoclasts are responsible for resorbing bone or breaking down old bone. When these drugs poison the osteoclasts the brittle bone is no longer broken down, but it doesn't mean you build denser bone, it means you build more brittle bone. I know of a case where a woman ended up with cracks in her sacrum - she was on Boniva for 5 years. Now they don't know what to do to help her. She is in pain, can't travel and can't exercise and she used to be a heavy exerciser.

 

I worked with a nutritionist who used biomeridian to help determine which nutrients I needed to replace first to rebuild my health. Biomeridian is based on Traditional Chinese Medicine and measures the galvanic skin response on meridian points. My nutritionist used a combination of feedback from biomeridian and nutrient blood tests to guide my recovery. We used homeopathic remedies along with other nutrients and sometimes medicines in the form of anti-fungals (I had yeast overgrowth syndrome, too). Not all nutritionists are as good as mine was, but I would take a nutritionist over a dietitian any day of the week.

 

Karma

[Barbarannamated]

Q: How does one find a good Biomeridien testing/nutritionist

Ive heard of that but nobody knew what it was called and it sounds a bit hokey until I just read your description

[alexjuice]

Thanks, Karma.

 

What brand of mag are you using?

 

Also, are you able to drink coffee?

 

Finally, I am grateful for th warning about the bone drugs. Though, at this point, I'm not sure I will ever trust medication again. (beyond my psych issues, I trace my bone problems to a single dose of a PPI which I took to try to assist the symptoms I owe to Effexor and benzodiazepine. That PPI, like the others, can cause hypomagnesemia..)

 

If I were run over by a bus tomorrow itd be fair to say the main action of my adult life has been playing cash cow to Drug dealers with initials after their names.... :-(

 

Again, thanks for the good info. I talk to dr. Kresser next week and I am hopeful he will have some more on this madness.

 

Alex

[Karma]

I use KAL Magnesium Glycinate. I do drink coffee ... I drink 1/2 caff Americanos made from shots of espresso which actually have less caffeine than regular coffee.

 

I know what you mean about drug dealers with initials after their names ... when my PCP offered an osteoporosis drug to me I asked why I would want to poison cells in my body that are doing work they need to do - it would only result in brittle bone - he said that there were some reports that might be true and moved on. That tells me that although he has heard this information he is still prescribing these drugs so he isn't investigating it further ... I think that's criminal. But I keep him because I can manipulate him to my needs.

 

He is the same doctor that told me that all of my tests pointed to Sarcoidosis - but I don't have any of the symptoms of Sarcoidosis. He wanted to do a chest x-ray so we would know for sure whether I had Sarcoidosis and I asked what the treatment was if I did have it. He said that there is no treatment because you can only treat the symptoms. I asked then why would I need to know if I have Sarcoidosis if there is nothing we can do for it. He had to admit I had a point.

 

I keep the doctors I have because when I come armed with an education I can manipulate them. It is sad, but it is my reality.

 

Karma

[Karma]

Q: How does one find a good Biomeridien testing/nutritionist

Ive heard of that but nobody knew what it was called and it sounds a bit hokey until I just read your description

 

I'll need to do some investigation to provide you with guidance on finding a good nutritionist/biomeridian tech. I know of a case where a qualified nutritionist was working for a chiropractor who just wanted her to push his supplements - she quit because she found that practice unethical. On the other hand someone qualified who just needed a job might need to push the Dr.'s supplements.

 

Let me check in with my former nutritionist and my current nutritionist and get some guidance on what kind of questions to ask and where to look for a good one and I'll provide that information.

 

Karma

[Barbarannamated]

Thank you Karma ~you provide incredible amount of great info

I agree completely on the role and usage of doctors in our situations ~

[alexjuice]

I use KAL Magnesium Glycinate. I do drink coffee ... I drink 1/2 caff Americanos made from shots of espresso which actually have less caffeine than regular coffee.

 

Interesting. I typically drink americano as well, when I have 'coffee'... I find that regular coffee brings on, or worsens, my bone and joint issues. Particularly, lattes ( espresso + milk) broke the camels back in early December. After drinking, I also had a small amount of alcohol that night, I began experiencing pain and weakness in my hips and spine, as well as cramping which I'd not experienced in several months. And now it's been back for nearly 6 weeks.

 

So, curious how you have reacted to the americano? I largely avoid all caffeine of late, just to clarify. But in November, when I was feeling okay, I started with americano and then found it acceptable to drink normal drip coffee when going to a coffee shop wasn't an option. In particular I went on thanksgiving vacation with my family and extended family and didnt want to burden them with (for me) embarrassing requests and so I fell off my diet and all that.

 

The worst feeling of the vacation was the embarrassment. Because I was in a good window, I know, that some of my family doubted reports of my issues. This made me self-conscious and defiant about requiring any special considerations. In the end, when i got back home, the good window ended and the crap returned which my family living out of state never saw. They probably still thinks its all in my head because, "other than being a little pale and skinny, he seemed perfectly fine to me." I know it shouldn't bother me what others think, but we all know how the doubts, disbelief, and alienating treatment from others just add complication and misery to a miserable situation.

 

I feel the same about managing doctors!

 

On this bone thing, I just don't know. Things are not right. Taking high calcium foods makes the problem worse so I need to restore some proper balance. I'm really tired of guessing, and paying people to guess at me.

 

I have been really sensitive to magnesium but that seems less of an issue lately. I am working on taking more. Its pretty complicated though since the mag seems to enhance the effect of benzos causing memory and cognitive issues to worsen. I have been taking Doctors Best Mag which I think is mostly glycinate and have worked up to 200 - 300 mg a day.

 

Just frustrating. I can't get traction. I'd like my body to work and am frustrated.

 

I appreciate your help, Karma.

 

Alex

 

ps - constipation is a problem for me.

[Barbarannamated]

TRACTION is excellent word for what Im needing~the Groundhog Day effect ~i feel a bit better one day or in evening -get hopes up that things are improving ~then in morning I feel like physical and emotional vacuum again~every day is disconnected from previous

Great word Alex

[Barbarannamated]

Alex ~

I assume you know of the rampant use of SSRIs for IBS ~some supposedly better for IBS-D (diarrhea) or IBS-C (constipation)~scary and no surprise that these poisons trash the GI system

One more example of drugs causing the problems they are supposed to treat

[alexjuice]

Alex ~

I assume you know of the rampant use of SSRIs for IBS ~some supposedly better for IBS-D (diarrhea) or IBS-C (constipation)~scary and no surprise that these poisons trash the GI system

One more example of drugs causing the problems they are supposed to treat

 

Ya know, Barb, I never knew about this connection until these recent months that I've been active in my own recovery. Looking back, during some periods of my Drugging, I experienced extreme constipation, particularly when in foreign environments which provoked stress. For instance, I was in. 6 week study abroad in Europe in 2002. I felt very anxious surrounded 24hrs daily by classmates and professors. I did not have a bowel movement, you may find this hard to believe, for probably close to 2 weeks into the trip. When I told my roommate I'd yet to 'go' since we'd been abroad -- by this point we'd been through several cities and accommodations and dozens of meals -- he just couldn't believe it.

 

His exact quote: "I almost swallowed my cigarette just now. How have you not gone... Its been... A long time???? Warn me before you tell me something like that again so I get put my smoke down." .... My roommate was a good guy, actually. He's successful attorney now like most of my college peers. But, thats another post.

 

Anyway, I had the same problem first time I was in inpatient rehab. New environment, stress... No go. I was on dulcolax and miralax for days and days before any progress.

 

Even right now, not had one since Tuesday.

 

Never connected any bowel issues until...well, the crap started when I vomited pizza last Feb... So going on a year of gastro issues...

 

I think though that my bones can't be hopelessly corrupted after a few months of problems. I will bounce back.

 

Pretty soon... Gonna get some traction... :-)

[Barbarannamated]

Alex

I have no proof of this but I bet females would understand more than men ~

I used to travel alot for work -sometimes 3-5 weeks at a stretch and often with roommates ~not a good situation for relaxed body functions and the females were open and discussed the problem

~i was also on opiates for a long time which are known to cause constipation ~ive heard various nutritionists say that every meal should be followed by a movement--i laughed out loud and secretly envied my dogs' regularity

[InNeedOfHope]

It is amazing the stuff that you read whilst going through this, so i just wanted to share a couple of books I had read.

 

Beating Stress, Anxiety And Depression: Groundbreaking ways to help you feel better by Jane Plant and Janet Stephenson.

 

My memories of this book are dim as I read it a while ago, I know it was uplifting and illustrated how people can quickly spiral out of control once meds are introduced. These women fought back (one by the skin of her teeth, as he husband was about to sign consent for ECT is it?) and got their health back. One of the women is a professor in geology and is interested in how minerals and foods affect these health issues.

 

This led me to the next book:

 

 

Beating Stress, Anxiety And Depression: Groundbreaking ways to help you feel better [Paperback] by Jane Plant

 

Jane beat breast cancer and so would not take HRT or stuff like that so was interested in preventing bone break down naturally. I found out that countries consuming the most calcium have the most bone fractures and disease in this area. Those consumimg less do better. The calcium thing is a myth. Yes, you need calcium we all do, but we need in good proportions to magnesium (which we are probably deficient in) and Vitamin D and probably a whole host of other stuff too.

 

She advises more vegetables etc and advocates a semi vegetarian lifestyle.

 

She avoids ALL dairy products and believe they promote cancer, because the hormones they have in them are for baby cows not human babies. She says you dont drink the milk of a dog or a cat or a rabbit, so why a cow?????

 

I like some of the stuff she says but then get confused because it is against Paleo philosophy etc. But she does make some good points.

 

I also read somewhere grains slow down absorbtion of vit D. So maybe you can get away with eating more of this stuff in hot countries, I don't know, but her book is certainly interesting. It made me think twice about dairy. Sorry to go on, but thought this might help you relax some about not getting enough calcium.

[tezza]

I replied to your pm, did I do it right?

[alexjuice]

Frustrated.

 

One year anniversary of gastro-intestinal phase of this crap is this Febuary.

 

Last few days developed tooth sensitivity to cold/hot.

 

Year of reflux not good for the teeth, need to restart using mouthguard. Also, been drinking acidic drinks lately -- diluted apple cider vinegar, kombucha -- in never ending quest to kick this thing.

 

In bad spirits. Tired of being sick.

 

Alex

 

ps - Sometimes, for a minute, I remember being a drunk, fat crackhead on multi-meds, and I wish I could go back to that. I was a lot healthier. Funny but true. Even my fasting glucose level back then (70 lbs ago) was 80-85 and now it's around 90-100.

[Barbarannamated]

Frustrated.

 

One year anniversary of gastro-intestinal phase of this crap is this Febuary.

 

Last few days developed tooth sensitivity to cold/hot.

 

Year of reflux not good for the teeth, need to restart using mouthguard. Also, been drinking acidic drinks lately -- diluted apple cider vinegar, kombucha -- in never ending quest to kick this thing.

 

In bad spirits. Tired of being sick.

 

Alex

 

ps - Sometimes, for a minute, I remember being a drunk, fat crackhead on multi-meds, and I wish I could go back to that. I was a lot healthier. Funny but true. Even my fasting glucose level back then (70 lbs ago) was 80-85 and now it's around 90-100.

 

I sure can relate to that last comment (substitute opiates)

Im sorry you're going through a bad time Alex - did the deal with Messner effect you - I get so discouraged every time I get my hopes dashed by a doc ~

[Nadia]

I hear you, Alex. I too think back on my "youthful folly"... eating a whole pan of brownies for dinner, doing drugs, being on meds, and sometimes it can seem like it was better than I am now. I still sometimes think about going back on meds. But I guess these things take a while to kick you in the butt. Delayed punishment? For not being able to appreciate delayed gratification? I dunno.

 

I hope your spirits lift and health creeps back up on you. You sure are trying hard enough!

[Nadia]

By the way... I totally meant what I said in the Chris Kresser thread!

[alexjuice]

Real quick. People say things they don't mean when they're upset, me included.

 

Life wasnt better on meds and I don't think of going back on. But I do get ground down sometimes and say dumb stuff.