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Swede

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Hello! First off I want you to know that I read english every day but I
hardly never write in English so please bare with me...

My name is Mr M and I started using antidepressants(anafranil) in a weak
moment in the year of 2002. I had a long battle with OCD since the early
teens and it took me a long time to accept the condition and to ask for
help. My OCD was mostly about washing my hands and avoiding contact with
other people and all kinds of things that I felt was "dirty". I also
faught against cumpulsive things like turning on and off the lights in a
special pattern, things like that and of course I was very depressed.

I think Anafranil helped me a little bit in the beginning even though I
realized a long time ago that therapy with a skillful psychologist would
have been enough.

When I started using Anafranil it was very tough, alot of anxiety, being
nervous and sweating like a pig. But it was manageable and it took about
4 weeks for my body to accept the medicine.

The sideeffects kind of snuck up on you and I didn't quite realize the
differences until I was looking back and thinking about how I was before
the medicine. My stomach has never been the same since I started using
anafranil. I'd better have a toilet nearby or an accident could have
easily happened. It was hard to get things done you know like your daily
shores. I was very very tired most of the time and slept alot. Things
like a dry desert-like nose and mouth, hard to pee, hard to keep my
Johnson hard and hard to reach orgasm, gaining weight, nightmares,
nosebleed etc. wasn't funny at all but still manageable. It didn't help
at all against my washing problems though...

Things kind of moved along and life wasn't that bad even though I was on
sick-leave. I had moved to another city and to my own first apartment, I
had a couple of good friends, a couple of cozy romances from time to
time, spending much time in bars and discos, meeting new interesting
people.

In 2009 I started to get terrible pains in my stomach, it turned out
(after many painful months) I had gallstones. I got my gallbladder
removed in the summer of 2009 and was on a very low dose of anafranil.

A year before I started to lower my dose from about 150mg because I
wasn't believing in the medicine anymore and I wanted to try to live
without it.

This is were my severe problems started and every day is now a long
battle...

After the gallbladder-operation my daily dose of anafranil was below
25mg. I now realized that the medicine and the withdrawal had turned on
me and was causing painful sideeffects.

I was feeling weaker, more tired, less focused, extreme low bloodsugar,
had to eat all the time, got scared of sudden sounds, didn't enjoy
sunlight, extreme stress, started to get intrusive scary thoughts about
hurting people I ran into, people I care about. I'm very very scared!
I increased the dose of anafranil again but it didn't help at all. Near
the end of 2009 I tried Sertralin but that was an completaly horrible  
experience and I don't remember much from that 6 week period so I went
back to Anafranil again. I kept fighting, reading as much as I could on
the net. At this moment I wasn't aware of that all of this was probably
caused by that damn medicine and what it had done to my body.

I removed the old amalgams filling from my teeth, nothing happened. I met
with an osteopath, nothing happened except being free from pollenallergy
for that summer. Trying many diffrent vitamins, omega 3, msm powder and
more with poor results.

I met a doctor in 2010 who found out that I have slow metabolism and
started eating medicine for that. Sure, I wasn't extremely tired anymore
and if I rose up rapidly it did get black infront of my eyes but other
than that, nothing.

In june of 2013 I went under that magical dose of 25mg of anafranil again
and started to get horrible, extreme stomach aches and a ton of other
hard symtoms. In september that year I met a doctor who wanted me to give
mirtazapine a try, bad idea... Horrible symptoms, didn't help at all.
Gave it about 7 weeks and then switched to Cipralex....

Cipralex must be the medicine from hell... I can not explain in words
that extreme painful insertionperiod and it lasted for about 6 month
before some of it disappeared. After that I developed strange, horrible
symtoms I didn't know was possible. It only got worse and worse. In
November of 2014 I had been on Cipralex for 1 year and finally came
across an article in a newspaper about extreme belly problems caused by
long use of medicine. I thought it through and started lowering my dose
carefully. It was very hard even though some weeks was quite ok, in
comparison.

I took my last pill in 2015-03-08 and it's been a wild ride. Once again
I'm not sure if I can put words to what I've been through but I've read
some of the contents on this site and it looks like I've found people
going through the same hell I'm fighting every waken moment.

I'm into my seventh month without the pills and the pattern seems to be
windows and waves. Everday is a long battle and I know that nobody can
answer this question but I must ask: How long will it last?

Since my last pill I have noticed positive differences like less crying,
less sweating, less compulsive handwashing, less nightmares and less
reaction to them, perhaps a little better vision, I can use ordinary
deododrants again, better memory, clearer mind, less fogginess. I had
brainzaps for about 2 month then they disappeared. And probably minor
things I'm not aware of.

I'm very thankful for those things but my daily focus is the battle of
surviving the day of the symptoms that are tormenting me

I there a pattern here? Is it possible to predict what will happen next?
The hardest things for me at the moment is the pain in my belly, extreme
stress, hard to be still, afraid to lose control and go crazy, hurting
strangers, friends and family members by violence, must eat all the time
or else my bloodsuger run low and the symptoms above gets even harder,
panic attacks and all of this causes alot of anxiety.

I'm not a diabetic so this low bloodsugar thing is very strange. Can it
be caused by the medicine and the withdrawal?

Puh! It's hard to express these kind of problems in Swedish and even

harder in a foreign language. =)

Any help and tips are welcome and feel free to ask questions!!!

Edited by scallywag
light emphasis added on last dose

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Mr M,

 

Seems like you are starting to get a handle on what is happening to you - I know it's not easy to find yourself in this difficult situation.  I'm fairly new at this myself, but wanted to welcome you to S/A.

 

You'll be able to start tracking a pattern if you start a daily log of symptoms.  There's a useful checklist http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2390-dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/ which you can print out and fill in daily.  I do that, and then every few weeks I transfer it into a line graph.  It is helping me build up a picture of what happens when I make dose reductions.  For you it might help you to see what things worsen or improve your symptoms, if you also note down dietry or other changes.

 

It sounds like you might also benefit from reading about neuro-emotions - those big feelings you are getting are very common in withdrawal.

 

Finding out what you can do to care for yourself and nurture your brain to heal will help lots.  It is not easy to cope with the effects of these drugs, especially when anxiety makes everything harder again.  There's lots of ideas here so you can start to help the healing along.

 

Someone who knows more than me will probably write soon,

Hugs,

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Swede,

 

I call you that because that has come up as your username.  I'm sorry you have had it tough, many of us have.   You are amongst friends here and people who can relate to your experience.

 

KarenB has pointed you to some great links.  No one can tell you how long you will experience withdrawal for.  I can say that having windows where things aren't as intense is a good sign.   We often find that it takes lots of little things to recover - healthy food, exercise that you can tolerate, fish oil and magnesium (some people cant tolerate these), mindfulness, acceptance of your situation and the courage to work your way through it.

 

I recommend your read through the links you have already been given and then come back here and ask any questions.

 

Can I also ask that you fill out your drug history in your signature.  Instructions on how to do that are here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Might I say for someone who doesn't write in English very often you do it well (although it must be tiring)

 

Dalsaan.

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Welcome Swede. I just wanted to let you know that your written English is very good and I had no trouble understanding what you wrote. I am sure that you will find a lot of helpful advice from others here who have been through a similar situation. 

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Hi Sweede,

The symptoms that you have described are withdrawal symptoms from the AD'S.

 

A lot of people experience, intrusive thoughts, fear of loosing control and hurting others.

Fear of going crazy. Nightmarres, sweating, nausia, stomach upsets, diarrhea, vomiting, panic, anxiety, Parastasia, andrinellin surges, burning sensation in the head, skin etc.

The list goes on.

You are not alone in this.

We have all experienced some of the wd symptoms .

Things do improve over time. It takes a while to recover. For some people it takes a long time and others bounce back much quicker.

It varies from person to person.

Take care of your self the best way.

Maybe considered including a probiotic for your tummy troubles.

Best wishes, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Thank you all for a warm welcome, I'll have a look at the links above and explore this page from time to time. =)

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I read something that Alto strata wrote about diffrent phases in withdrawal it said:

 

"My guess is: The first phase of withdrawal, the acute phase, is the initial shock of withdrawal, with the most defined symptoms, such as brain zaps and nausea. The second phase is when the serotononergic receptors are repopulating, with waves of depression and anxiety. The third phase is when glutamatergic disinhibition and autonomic instability take over. Often the autonomic instability causes hypersensitivity to drugs and certain supplements.

 

I can relate to this and it seems I'm in that third phase right now. I was wondering what will happen next, in let's say phase 4, 5, 6 and so on.... ?

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Swede.

 

The last phase is the very slow, long-term recovery from autonomic instability. See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank You!!! Do you remember for how long your first and second phase lasted?

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Administrator

There are no set periods for any phase. I would say my acute phase lasted a couple of months.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Is it supposed to feel like this? It started in september when I entered a phase where I became extremely sensitive to everything I put in my mouth, medicines, vitamins, food and drinks. Food causes terrible pain in my stomach, stresslike anxiety attacks, enhances the OCD temporarily. Drinks (except water) same thing but not that severe. Medicins may help with what it is suppose to do but the sideeffects later that day or the day after are horrible. For the moment I've stayed away from vitamins afraid of reactions.

 

I can't handle any stress at all, stress gives me severe anxietyattacks. The Insomnia is worse than ever...

 

I went to the ER three weeks ago and had to stay at the hospital for three days. They examined my stomach with an mrcp and a cat scan but could'nt find anything that was wrong.

 

Is this normal during withdrawal, will it get better??

 

I have imovane for sleeping and they work quite well but the hangovers are terrible....I try to stay away from them at any cost, but I have to sleep.... I read som positive things about melatoninpills and ordered a bottle from England today. Does anybody here have anything positive to say about melatoninpills?

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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Hi Swede,

 

I have extreme sensitivity to everything... even some vitamins.  I have adverse reactions to medicine and herbs as well.   I tried Kava Kava, it gave me depression.  Marijuana used to work months ago, but now it makes me feel like my body is giving up.  It makes the brain zaps worse too, where before it helped.  Your symptoms may change from time to time.  If I drink a beer it will make all my symptoms worse for 1-2 days. Sometimes I cannot tolerate coffee.  It's like I want a break from the symptoms so I try something... and then I pay for it.  It does get better but you have to be patient.    One thing that should be fine for you...endorphins.  Your body produces them naturally when you exercise or lift weights.  Can you do that?  And/or try meditation.  i prefer guided meditation.  Here is an example but there are many different types out there.  Put headphones or earbuds in and take off:

 

1996-2014 - 3mg Clonazepam - Started weaning off in 2010, took 4 years.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - 30mg - 180mg percocets per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - Mixed in Suboxen while not on percs... 8mg-32mg per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine (I think)  Opiates don't fully work yet.

2015 - Quit smoking weed, all is fine.

2015- Stopped drinking, all is fine.

2015-  Stopped drinking coffee, all is fine.

2010-2014 - 10mg of Lexapro for first 2 years, then 15mg for another 2 years

Quit over 3 week period - still experiencing bad withdrawal, but very slowly getting better... too slow.  

9/4/2015 - Reinstated 1mg liquid Lexapro.  So far, it's not helping... maybe hurting but not sure yet.

9/5/2015 - Stopped the 1mg, made it worse.  I will ride it out, currently drug free.

 

"The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory"

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Hello Lostinspace, sorry to read about your suffering! Luckily I quit alcohol and cigarettes back in the year 2000 and that was before I started to use antidepressants. I've always had somewhat of a sensitve stomach but nothing like this, this is extreme. And yes symtoms do change from time to time. I'd like to see them as phases, some symptoms actually disappeared or got milder during this strange voyage. Somedays I feel stronger and when I do I test my body with bad kind of foods. Staying away from coca-cola, chocolate and junk food is very hard. =) Being patient is very hard but of course you're right. I have tried mindfulness, never really got into it but I try to practise it often. I ride my bike for about 100 km or more every week and that is helpful in many ways. Do you have any experiences from sleeping pills? Thanks for the link!

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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Being patient is very hard.  I'm extremely impatient.  But as time goes on I get better at it.  Every time I try to cheat, or have a little fun, it backfires.  So the best course is to leave it alone and just be.  It is hard though.  

 

I used to take sleeping pills.  I took ambien for awhile, then I used the klonopin I was on to fall asleep.  Strangely enough, once I got off all the medicines is when my sleep patters became normal and I was able to fall asleep within 15-30 minutes of lying down.  It took some time after stopping the medicines, but that part of my brain chemistry eventually fell into place.  

 

Riding your bike 100km, that's really good.  I weight train, and the feeling I get after working out is the only real relief.  I sit in the hot tub also, that helps a little.  I get massages once a week or every other.  I get them with aroma therapy or essential oils.  Believe it or not, I'm so sensitive to substance, I had a bad reaction to icy hot!  It's a menthol rub or spray you can use for pain.  So even the oils sometimes bother me.  But the massages are fantastic.  It's something to look forward to after a sh*tty week.  

 

I have tinnitus, and it became severe after all of this withdrawal.  I would like to try various types of meditation, but I cannot focus with the loud ringing.  With the headphones in and the guided meditation, it makes it relatively bearable.  

1996-2014 - 3mg Clonazepam - Started weaning off in 2010, took 4 years.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - 30mg - 180mg percocets per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - Mixed in Suboxen while not on percs... 8mg-32mg per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine (I think)  Opiates don't fully work yet.

2015 - Quit smoking weed, all is fine.

2015- Stopped drinking, all is fine.

2015-  Stopped drinking coffee, all is fine.

2010-2014 - 10mg of Lexapro for first 2 years, then 15mg for another 2 years

Quit over 3 week period - still experiencing bad withdrawal, but very slowly getting better... too slow.  

9/4/2015 - Reinstated 1mg liquid Lexapro.  So far, it's not helping... maybe hurting but not sure yet.

9/5/2015 - Stopped the 1mg, made it worse.  I will ride it out, currently drug free.

 

"The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory"

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Have you tried acupuncture for the belly pain?  I know the practice works wonders for a lot of people. 

1996-2014 - 3mg Clonazepam - Started weaning off in 2010, took 4 years.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - 30mg - 180mg percocets per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - Mixed in Suboxen while not on percs... 8mg-32mg per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine (I think)  Opiates don't fully work yet.

2015 - Quit smoking weed, all is fine.

2015- Stopped drinking, all is fine.

2015-  Stopped drinking coffee, all is fine.

2010-2014 - 10mg of Lexapro for first 2 years, then 15mg for another 2 years

Quit over 3 week period - still experiencing bad withdrawal, but very slowly getting better... too slow.  

9/4/2015 - Reinstated 1mg liquid Lexapro.  So far, it's not helping... maybe hurting but not sure yet.

9/5/2015 - Stopped the 1mg, made it worse.  I will ride it out, currently drug free.

 

"The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory"

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  • Administrator

No, being hypersensitive in withdrawal is not the least bit surprising.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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LIS: I wish the drug companies had to release an antidote for fast recovering if the medicines didn't turn out to work. This is like russian roulette, two of my sisters tried ssri's and they could start using it and stop using it without any problems at all. It's so unfair!

 

It's devastating that your medcines causes your problems. I took Lergigan for sleeping for a long time but developed som sort of hangover much like Imovane. I'm hoping that the melatoninpills will help without severe sideffects.

 

I tried the gym a couple of years ago (when I still used ssri's not knowing they were the cause of my problems)... The thing is that I don't like being indoors doing exercising, I love the nature and it gives me much more while riding my bike, taking a walk or a powerwalk but I guess lifting weights lets you concentrate on other things. =)

A friend of mine asked me a long time ago if I knew what the best kind of training was? The one that gets done. =)

 

I've tried acupuncture a long time ago with good results the problems is that he's retired now and finding a new one is kind of limited in this town.

 

I've thought about getting a massage but never got do it, maybe this is it. =)

 

Do you read books or watch movies? When I'm up to it it can work as a distraction for the moment.

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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Some masseuses practice acupressure, that may be worth investigating.  I watch movies.  I can't read because of the severe tinnitus, I cannot focus.  Today the torture is worse then usual. 

1996-2014 - 3mg Clonazepam - Started weaning off in 2010, took 4 years.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - 30mg - 180mg percocets per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - Mixed in Suboxen while not on percs... 8mg-32mg per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine (I think)  Opiates don't fully work yet.

2015 - Quit smoking weed, all is fine.

2015- Stopped drinking, all is fine.

2015-  Stopped drinking coffee, all is fine.

2010-2014 - 10mg of Lexapro for first 2 years, then 15mg for another 2 years

Quit over 3 week period - still experiencing bad withdrawal, but very slowly getting better... too slow.  

9/4/2015 - Reinstated 1mg liquid Lexapro.  So far, it's not helping... maybe hurting but not sure yet.

9/5/2015 - Stopped the 1mg, made it worse.  I will ride it out, currently drug free.

 

"The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory"

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Tried ginger for my belly today maybe it'll do something good..... Take care of yourself LIS!!

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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I know you don't drink, but bitters with ginger ale really works well... a remedy I learned when I was a bartender.  You too.

1996-2014 - 3mg Clonazepam - Started weaning off in 2010, took 4 years.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - 30mg - 180mg percocets per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine.

2010-2014 - Mixed in Suboxen while not on percs... 8mg-32mg per day.  Quit CT in 2014.  All is fine (I think)  Opiates don't fully work yet.

2015 - Quit smoking weed, all is fine.

2015- Stopped drinking, all is fine.

2015-  Stopped drinking coffee, all is fine.

2010-2014 - 10mg of Lexapro for first 2 years, then 15mg for another 2 years

Quit over 3 week period - still experiencing bad withdrawal, but very slowly getting better... too slow.  

9/4/2015 - Reinstated 1mg liquid Lexapro.  So far, it's not helping... maybe hurting but not sure yet.

9/5/2015 - Stopped the 1mg, made it worse.  I will ride it out, currently drug free.

 

"The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory"

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  • 4 months later...

Hello!

It's been a long time since I wrote someting here but I visit this site almost daily looking for hope and comfort. So thank you Altostrato and the rest of the gang! Npanth's articles are gold!!!

Celebrated 1 year off Cipralex march 8th and had hoped my situation would have been better. Some things have improved or even disappeared and some things have become worse(or at least it feels that way, it's hard to tell) and some things are unchanged. But the fight is hard every single day.

Let's start with the bad...

Depending on what symptoms are the most dominant at the moment, it runs over everything else for that time it's chooses to last, luckily it comes and goes...

- Worst of all are the intrusive, scary thoughts about hurting others or myself or lose control generally, I feel really bad being around sharp things like knives or sharp tool's etc.

I still force myself to hang out with people, taking a walk or whatever just because I need it so badly and while doing so things can feel a little better when being distacted. I use knives and tools for normal things even though it makes me feel unease.

- My stomach is still in bad shape and I get some sort of reaction from almost anything I put in it. The symptoms are nausea, unease, anxiety, nervous, stress etc and it usually lasts for many hours.

- Generel anxiety with alot of guilt and rumination, being bombarded with many thoughts at once

- Feelings of dispair, hopelessness, crying and depression.

- Still very sensitive to sudden/loud sounds

- Feelings of extreme stress when it comes to appointments, can't plan anything

- Feeling lousy when waking up
 
and some postive things/changes

+ Normal sweating, can use almost any deodorant

+ Brainzaps disappeared after about two months and never returned

+ Being irritable and angry has lessened quite a bit. I don't get too frustrated anymore when standing in a line or wait for the elevator. My temper is more stabil and I rarely get angry at those things that bothered me before.

+ Feelings of saying/yelling inappropriate things to strangers and being afraid of writing inappropriate things when for example texting has also lessened some.

+ The low blood sugar-thing causing me to eat once an hour has the past two weeks showed some changes, the other day I could wait for almost 4 hours before I ate someting. VERY POSTIVE!!!

+ My sleeping has improved the last month. Before I could sleep for about 3-4 hours a night. If I stay awake for at least 12 hours I can get 6-8 hours some nights.

+ Sometimes felt guilt for the content of my dreams for a long time, rarely happens now and if so they disappear quite fast and I forget them.

and some things that may be irritating but I can live with them

Vision problems(new glasses helped), dry nose, itch, allergy, can't feel anything when having an orgasm, still hard to pee

Supplements that may have helped:

Probiotics pills
Some B-vitamins B12, folic acid
D-vitamin


Tried magnesium and fish oil, no changes

Melatonin worked for about 4 weeks after that no effect at all. Tried several weeks later and some effect but got really bad hangovers following day

I still ride my bike for about 100 km every week and I also take long walks.

When so many things are happening in my body at the same time it's quite hard to take notice of all the changes, good or bad.

When a window appear I really try to enjoy the moment and just be. I surely hope that this is only the beginning and that I can look forward to more improvements coming months...

If you have any questions I'll try to answer them!

 

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Swede - thanks for letting us know how you are. 

 

I can relate to a lot of those symptoms - I remember being unable to plan anything due to anxiety.  It's mostly better now, but occasionally it shows up again.  I also remember that when I was in danger of self-harming, I would quickly ring a friend and get out of the house.  When your own perspective is wonky, it's helpful to plug into others' perspectives.   

 

It's good to read of the symptoms that have improved for you.  You're doing really well continuing to take care of yourself over the long time-frame.  It's encouraging to hear. 

 

That's a really long bike ride!  I couldn't do that much exercise right now.  

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • Administrator

You're welcome, Swede.

 

What is your sleep pattern like now?

 

How much melatonin were you taking, and when?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi girls!

 

KarenB

 

Yes planning is very hard, had to cancel a dinner today with my mom and her husband. Woke up today with an awful feeling of anxiety. Going for a ride with my bike soon.

How long have you been off medicines? For how long did you have those horrible thoughts?

 

Altostrata

 

I try to stay awake for at least 12 hours as I said. It often takes a long time before I actually falls a sleep but when I do the sleep is better, more sustained than it used to be, sure I wake up now and then but it has improved. I have dark curtains but it does not block out all the light unfortunatley. I use an old dark t-shirt to cover my eyes and it works quite good. 5-8 hours of sleep is actually very good in comparison but I wish I could sleep even more. If I wake up too early I go up and eat something fast and then try to sleep some more, sometimes it works. My lowbloodsugar has caused alot of interupted sleep during the years. And when it starts to get too low I feel awful. I must eat something before I turn of the lights and if I'm lucky i will fall into sleep within an hour or two.

 

I started taking melatonin 3 mg pills in november, 8 month free from Cipralex. Worked quite good for a month then the effect disappeared. Tried again a couple of weeks later and got some effect but felt really really lousy following day, the bad aftereffect lasted until the evening. Hopefully I don't need them anymore.

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm still tapering.  I had the worst of those thoughts when I was still on the full dose of effexor.  Things seem to improve as I get less drugs in me, which is very encouraging. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • 2 months later...

Hello!

A little update!

15 month since my last dose of cipralex and it's still very very hard.

Some symptoms have improved but I can't really enjoy them because other symptoms gets worse at the same time.

- Still very sensitive to sudden/loud sounds

- Feelings of extreme stress when it comes to appointments, can't plan anything

- Hypersensitive: food, medicines, vitamins, sugar you name it.

- My stomach still gives me hell. Is it possible my belly gets inflamed every time I eat something? Horrible feelings almost everyday, lasting for many many hours and then some days it's calmer. Sometimes a walk helpes and sometimes a novaluzid or two can ease up a little. I really can't understand this part and would be thankful if you could give me some advice on this and what it could be. I try to eat gentle food and a lot of glutenfree food and have been doing so for the last 6 month or so. I only drink water!
I've had my stomach examined last fall and they could not find anything.

- Waking up in panicmode about the same time everyday, often lessens in 30 minutes.

- feelings of panic during the day, it comes and goes same with those intrusive thoughts.

- too much exercise and I can't sleep, feeling really bad for a day or two

- Feelings of despair, hopelessness, crying(less) and depression.

- harder to concentrate, harder to stay focused

and some improvements

+ Got bad effect from ordinary deodorants again but it got better after a month

+ Being irritable and angry has lessened even more and I almost feel normal

+ Feelings of saying/yelling inappropriate things to strangers and being afraid of writing inappropriate things when for example texting has lessened even more

+ My low bloodsugar-thing is a little bit so so but it has improved during 2016

+ If I stay awake for at least 12 hours there's a good chance I can get 6-9 hours of sleep even though I wake up many times

+ Those horrible intrusive thoughts have lessened a tiny bit, or at least I think so

I keep on fighting every day, telling myself FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! and somedays are very hard and I wonder for how long I can stand this hell.

I come here very often looking for hope and comfort to fight another day and for that I'm grateful! Take care you all and may we all heal quickly and win 10 billions on lottery!!! =)

Lost in space: How are you doing??

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello!

 

16 months out and suffering badly...

 

Last couple of  months my stomach has given me pure hell. I can't eat anything without a bad/severe reaction lasting many hours. I feel nausea, unease, cramps, pain and probably more things I don't now how to express in words and when I do I get panic and stress and those awful intrusive thoughts gets worse.

 

I've tried ginger, camomill tea, turmeric the last couple of days with poor results. I only drink water.

 

I've also tried tiny bits of B12 pills twice a week and I think I get bad reaction from them. Folic acid seems to worsen even more.

 

I ride my bike for about 20 km every day in slow tempo, is it possible it's too much for me and can it be stressful for my belly??

 

I have had my stomach checked and examined at the hospital and they found cardia hernia(translation?) when doing a gastroscopy. Nothing unusual after a gallstone operation they said. I've also had a ultrasound, MRI, computed tomography finding nothing. Omeprazol and similar does not work at all with worsening symptoms.

 

I eat mostly glutenfree food and hardly any lactose at all. And I also stay away from sugar most of the time. Histaminfree food didn't help either and DAOSIN pills did no good at all.

 

Have I missed anything?? Any vitamins or minerals I've missed?? I'm having a hard time finding people with the same kind of stomachproblems that I have during this awful journey, are you out there?? Need to find positive stories on that subject!!!

 

Any tips and help would be grateful!!!

 

Is it really possible for my stomach to heal or at least get better?

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Swede, those ongoing digestive issues sure sound uncomfortable. have you investigated GAPS nourishment (diet)? GAPS = Gut and Psychology Syndrome.

 

Some members here have found it helpful. SCD/GAPS/Paleo Eating in the Symptoms and self-care forum

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Thank you for answering Scallywag( I like your name =) )

 

I've looked at that link before and tried some of that recommended food with poor results.

 

Been taking a higher dose of levaxin the last two weeks, could it be this bad because of that? I went from 150ug/175ug every other day and now I'm on 175ug every day.

 

I'm considering going back to 150/175 every other day. Or should I harden and see what happens when the dose is accepted(usually 5-6 weeks) by my body?

 

What are your experiences on this subject?

 

Been taking levaxin since 2010 and still haven't found a stable dose.

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Swede will you take 2-3 minutes and create a signature?   When you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs (all drugs not just psych drugs), doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements -- the moderators can get a much better picture of your situation.

 

Please put your withdrawal history in signature

 

Levaxin is a thyroid hormone replacement, correct? Any changes in dose or formulation of a drug that affects your CNS (central nervous system) or endocrine system (thyroid, etc) can cause digestive symptoms.  Your gut has many, many neurotransmitter receptor and transporter cells, more in fact then your brain!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

Link to comment

Updated my signature!!!

 

I've never felt that much when taking a higher dose of levaxin before now I react very badly to anything(pills,food) i put in my mouth. Probably this is the latest "phase" I must face and harden. Anyone else out there getting worse stomach symptoms 16 month after quitting ad's?

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Administrator

Swede, did they test for Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori)?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Altostrata!

 

I can't say for sure but I know they said that I did not have an ulcer when doings those tests. I hope they knew what they were doing. Ironically I've had a quite calm sunday on that front.

 

I have another question for you guys.

I wake up in panicmode around 8 o'clock every day and it usually settles after about 30-60 minutes if I decide to wake up. This is cortisol right? Must be...Had this för about 6 month now.

 

Sometimes(I never learn) I take a nap in the afternoon and if I do I can only sleep(lousy sleep) for about 1 hour and when I wake up I feel so miserably I dont know what to do.... I'm in the worst of panicattacks, nausea, having intrusive thoughts, anxiety.. I usually must take an hour walk to settle down my body after this. Is this also cortisolspikes? Could my low  bloodsugar-thing be part of it? And why does it feel better after a long walk?? Can anyone explain what is happening in the body?

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

If I were you, I'd make sure they checked for H. pylori, that is an infection that could cause gut problems.

 

Darkening the bedroom to block out the morning light can diminish the morning cortisol spike, which might be worse in the summer, particularly near the Arctic. See Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing cortisol spikes

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Altostrata you adviced someone in another thread about covering windows with foil. That and dark curtains really makes my bedrom dark. So thank you for that!

 

Started eating half an orange a day a couple of days ago and my cortisolspikes the following mornings are less....is that possible?

 

Had to take a pill for pollenallergy this morning and been feeling miserably since. It took the allergy away but had a worthless afternoon because of that.

 

And from now on I will exclude bread and fibers from my diet and see if that does any good.

Klomipramin 25-150mg 2002-2013

Sertralin - 6 weeks in 2009

Mirtazapin - 7 weeks 2013

Cipralex -  20mg Nov 2013 - Nov 2014

 

Tapered Cipralex from Nov 2014-Mars 8 2015

 

Thyroid - Low metabolism

 

Levaxin - 2010 - 25ug - 175ug

Liothyronin(T3) -  10ug - Nov 2014 - Nov 2015

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Here's our allergy thread - many people find they can't take these while in w/d.  My husband greatly reduced his hayfever by cutting out white flour and sugar, and eating only grains that had been properly prepared ie sourdough bread, soaked oats/rice.  I think it helped by generally reducing the burden on his whole system. 

 

How's that signature coming along ;)?

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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