Dolphins1: Scared - confused - need help

[MollyN]

Hi Bruce

 

You've shared a glimpse into your being - what a blessing for the rest of us struggling our way through.

 

You've had so many wonderful people share with you here and they are all speaking truth to you xxx

 

I thought I'd tell you what life was like for me prior to antidepressants and why I wanted to come off them. I was raised as an only child by a single mum who no doubt loved me a very great deal and sacrificed a great deal as well for me, but also had all the symptoms (if not the diagnosis) of borderline personality disorder (whatever that is?!) but her mother, sisters, co workers have separately attested to it - as a child how could you possibly know what 'normal healthy' is aside from life with your one parent.

 

It was an emotionally very unhealthy relationship between the two of us, very insular and overwhelming for a child.

 

At 16 yrs as I started to assert some thoughts of my own, I was told to leave the house and that was that really in terms of family. So now I'm 42 and have been 'alone' all this time. The repercussions of this ultimate rejection and lack of family has echoed through my entire life.

 

Some (not so charming examples)  Many good and wonderful people have come into my life, but I would ultimately reject them all, unable to see how they could love me when I suppose I had been shown to be so unlovable.

 

This one is such a bummer and even today I do it. Presently in fact, I've chosen to have no friends at all (and with no family, man you need friends!) because I've pushed them all away terribly. I can't seem to cope with or accept the 'pressure' of their love and have the belief that I will be rejected ultimately, so best get in first.

 

I chose an abusive, severely emotionally disturbed man to have 4 children with. Yep that hasn't ended well. 

 

On the happier end of the scale, I was born with a sunny and positive personality, this served me very well for decades. However it's taken such a beating that I no longer experience it except for glimpses now - I entirely resonated with your line "I'm pretty desparate to feel alive again and have some peace and joy in my life. And love also."

 

I have a wonderful husband, however withdrawal is sucking the life out of my heart and ability to love him and I get a nasty suspicion I am starting to reject him too (before he rejects me - which of course my subconscious says is inevitable.

 

I was put on ADs because I was a mum with an abusive partner and raising little children without a hint of support. So, yeah that'd make most people struggle I reckon, certainly drugs weren't the answer, but what else was the doctor to do I suppose? Come round to my house each day and support me physically, love me like a mother should to fill the gap in my heart? Help me escape a violent partner by picking the children and I up and finding us a house and money? (actually in the end a psych who was engaged to help the children since their father was in and out of a psychiatric hospital) did in fact ring Women's Refuge and we did get picked up and escaped - huge thanks to her!!)

 

So there you go, I reckon your honesty deserved a response that was equally nitty gritty So I definitely have 'issues' and they would be there whether or not I was using ADs, and those issues will be there after withdrawal, but man alive the effect of these drugs in horrendous. I'm shocked daily by the ravages of them to my mind, and it's only the deep 'knowing' that they are just not ok that stops me from running back to the doctor and asking for drug based relief.

 

I'm envious of you having a job Bruce - all power to you!! I seem to be too lazy and entirely unmotivated to stick at anything. Hate this part of myself... a terrific starter, an entirely awful finisher! xxxx love to you (I think you sound like a terrific person)

[dolphins1]

Gosh thank you everyone. You are so uplifting. I am hanging in there. I never gift up. I will wait.

[dolphins1]

Im 18 months of benzos. I was given gabapentin and Prozac about 10 months ago, I think for depression and sleep.

 

I want to get off all psych drugs and want to know if I can taper off of these now.

 

I don't know if they are contributing to my misery or not. Yet I want to get off all poisons.

Can you provide some advise? Can I do it really slowly?

 

Bruce

[dolphins1]

Im 18 months of benzos. I was given gabapentin and Prozac about 10 months ago, I think for depression and sleep.

 

I want to get off all psych drugs and want to know if I can taper off of these now.

 

I don't know if they are contributing to my misery or not. Yet I want to get off all poisons.

 

Can you provide some advise? Can I do it really slowly?

 

Bruce

Edited December 18, 2015 by KarenB
merged from tapering section

[Meimeiquest]

I can't answer this question. But I do think when you go off, it would be best to go off Prozac first as it is more stimulating. You will need to move very slowly, having come off such a large benzo dose so fast. Have you checked the recommended doctor list for someone near you?

 

One of the listed docs is Kelly Brogan. She recommends fortifying oneself nutritionally before embarking on a taper. My own pdoc is adamant that if there is trouble in the brain, there is trouble in the gut. I would also recommend reading the pinned threads at the top of each forum before deciding how you would like to proceed.

 

Good luck!

[KarenB]

Tapering is best done really slowly, and idealy when you are in a stable place in your life.  But sometimes when the drug is causing ill-effects, we need to start gently tapering anyway. 

 

What are your main symptoms currently, and would you rate them as minimal, medium or awful? 

 

What dose of Prozac are you on now?  (Perhaps you could update your signature?)

 

Do you have some good self-care in place?

 

We can help you more accurately when we know these things. 

KarenB

[dolphins1]

Thanks Karen. My symptoms could be described as severe depression / anxiety / DR/DP with psychosis type features. I also have cognitive issues. The list seems endless really.

 

I'm on 19mg of Prozac. I was on 20mg. I made a 10% cut 2 months ago. I'm also on 600mg of gabapentin.

 

I'm 18 months off of Benzos. I've suffered in tolerance for the last 6 years. Pretty much think I'm toast. And quite sure I may never get well.

 

Regardless I still am barely able to work. All I'm able to do is watch tv, finally get some sleep, and eat. I live alone with 3 cats.

 

It's completely black. No hope, live or joy.

 

The reason I want to get off the Prozac is because it hasn't done anything and neither has the gabapentin. I think it's my only chance of surviving that I can think of. I got so scared from my last hospital stay that I really want to get off all psych meds. I'm 58 years old and don't know how much longer I'm going to live. I can tell you this, that I'm not living right now.

 

Does that help?

[AliG]

Hi Dolphins.

 

This process can seem excruciatingly slow , at times , but you will get there. You might not be living the way you would like to right now , but this can be turned around. This is temporary.  Some of these links might help  :

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2873-anhedonia-apathy-demotivation-emotional-numbness/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/?hl=guilt

 

Ali

[Martina23]

Hello Dolphins, I have the same symptoms like you including psychosis type features from Lyrica. I think to your symptoms contributes also this gabapentin, quite a lot of people have problems with gabapentin. There are times when I doubt if I dont have schizophrenie or something similar. I would like to tell you something nice and encouraging but the truth is that the whole process of healing is so long. So good that you have cats, at least you have someone to live for and dont feel so lonely. This is the most important for healing.

[KarenB]

Hi Dolphins, thanks for filling in the gaps.  If you have stabilised somewhat over these last 2 months then you could try another small reduction.  The last cut you made from 20mg to 19mg was actually a 5% cut, so I'd stick with that percentage for your next cut.  19 x 5% = 0.95.  Then 19 - 0.95 = 18.05mg.  I might get another mod to look at this too, since two brains are better than one .

 

I know it's real hard going for you right now, and there's probably little I can say that will make a difference.  It's a 'hanging in there' time, which sure does suck.  And when you're in the thick of it it's almost impossible to see that things will change (but they will). 

 

Also - cuddle those cats - they say the purring of cats actually makes a measurable difference to people's happiness and heartbeat.

 

KarenB

[Altostrata]

Hello, Dolphins. How did that decrease to 19mg Prozac affect you? Other than the ruminations, what are your current post-benzo symptoms?

 

Reading through your topic, several things stand out to me.

 

First, you have been experiencing the effects of psychoactive drugs for many years. Benzos alone can have a side effect of "depression." Antidepressants often cause emotional anesthesia.

 

Second, a central existential issue for you, something that occupies your mind with tremendous pain, is a vacancy of feeling. Yet, because of the drugs, how could it be otherwise?

 

You are focused on self-blame, self-reproach, and self-punishment. How could any other type of feeling enter your recognition?

 

Third, you have 3 cats. Now, one can acquire one cat by accident. But if you have 3 cats, you like cats. Are you saying your cats bring no pleasure at all into your life? Please put up some photos of your cats.

 

This is not a frivolous observation. What strikes me is you expect some big, big feelings of joy, pleasure, etc., while because of your drugged state and your disposition, your biggest feelings come from beating yourself up. You need to acknowledge the small pleasures in your life. Do you like the beach? Finding peace on the beach is a pleasure. Please post some photos of the beach.

 

Sometimes I suggest to people that, as they go about their daily routine, take photos of anything that strikes you as the least bit pleasurable or fun. When you are feeling down, when you are beating yourself up for the lack of joy in your life, look through the photos to remind yourself it's not 100% awful.

 

(Generally, jobs are not places where people find joy, that's why it's called work and not play. Still, you might make a list of the things you like about your job and remind yourself of it while you're at work.)

 

When one is numbed by drugs, it can very much be a "fake it until you make it" situation. As you will be only be able to taper slowly, it will be a long while before you are free of them. In the meantime, you need to nurture yourself by acknowledging the small joys instead of pining for big joys.

 

In terms of support, you might look for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Or, you might seriously take up meditation -- acceptance and acknowledgement of the present is your challenge.

[dolphins1]

Thank you all so very much. You are all so very, very kind.

[JanCarol]

Hey Dolphins, thank you so much for sharing your story.

 

It is one of the few stories that resonates with my own.

 

I was always in quest of the "peak experience."  And yes, I got a few of them, too.  But like Petunia says, this, too, can be a form of addiction.

 

You wrote:

Quote

The first one was after getting sober. I had an explosion of white light within my consciousness during my first meditation in 16 years. I then had an energy it ran from my root chakra up through my crown chakra. I do not know what chakras were. This energy energy was something divine. This energy was a love beyond anything I have ever known in my life. I could take the love I had for my first girlfriend and if I multiplied it by 3 trillion it would not come close to the lovely experience. This love held me and consumed me. It took away anything that was not love. I was also consumed by piece. AP so I had never known. I was then given a message. It was not written on my eyelids nor was it audible. It was just present in the experience. The message was you are so loved and you will be well.

 

Ah.  This is called Kundalini Awakening (but you knew that, right?)

 

I recommend a couple of things for you:  Shades of Awakening is a series of talks about "other" consciousnesses and how it affects our choices and waking life.  http://www.shadesofawakening.com/

 

Bipolarawakenings is by Sean Blackwell, an excellent series describing extreme states and what we can learn from them.  http://www.bipolarawakenings.com/   I highly recommend his YouTube channel for helping to parse out - what is healthy "other consciousness" and what is "medical"?  https://www.youtube.com/user/bipolarorwakingup

 

Much of what he teaches is based on the teachings of Ken Wilber and Stan Grof.  I am also a huge fan of Carl Jung, but find his writings in print difficult - there are many groups (like on Facebook and YouTube) which claim to be Jungian, but I am also a big fan of the source material, which I haven't seen since University.  Many are drawn to Joseph Campbell, as well, for exploring the archetypes which make up our being.

 

There is also Madness Radio by Will Hall and Icarus Network, with interviews focusing on mental diversity, and CrazyWise, a similar survivor based project by Phil Borges.

 

We have a sister page, BeyondMeds, where Monica shares her own journey and exploration of the line between the drugs, herself, and being real.

 

And here, you can look at: Is it withdrawal or relapse? Or something else?   to see what others have said - in very similar vein to what you have expressed here.

 

I have another set of notes in answer to your questions about drugs and healing - I'll have to get back to you on that, as it's very late here now (and I struggle with delayed cycle sleep)  I've put enough here for you to explore and learn - and I'll be eager to hear what you find of value amongst these recommendations.

 

I hope you see the Sun today.

 

(ps.  Yes.  Cat Pictures!)

Edited June 20, 2017 by JanCarol
fix link

[JanCarol]

Hey Dolphins,

You wrote:

 

I guess what I'm saying is I wanted to be real. I have felt if few times in my life when I was completely aligned. It was after a Tony Robbins event and all of the bullsh*t fell away inside of me and in my mind. I felt nothing but unconditional love and joy. 

 

Ah, the charisma of a peak experience.  Nothing like that warm basking in guru glow to make you feel the love.  Until you realize it was an illusion, just like all the other illusions.

 

You ask from the center of your heart:

 

I was in hope to hear from some of you who have depression before and never really rectified it but going through withdrawal that maybe you heal nonetheless.

* * *

So I take all that I've read on both sides of the fence. That psycho tropic drugs work and that they don't work in a poisonous.

* * *

I am wondering why everyone here on this site who was depressed and obviously in mental pain decided to get off antidepressants. 

 

Were they not working anymore?

 

Did they work for you?

 

Why have you decided to get off them?

 

 

Ah.  The drugs.  Like you, I started my drug life recreationally.  Always in quest of the peak experience.  I still have interest in entheogens, but do not have any way to pursue that interest safely.

 

Was it the early traumas around my birth and adoption what made me depressed?  Was it the damage done by the recreational drugs (I really was quite extreme there, this was no half-baked experiment, but 8 years of my life dedicated to extremes) where my tendency towards depression came in?  Maybe it was the fact that I was put on heavy antihistamines at the age of 8 and while the drugs aren't as heavy as they were in the 70's & 80's, much of my developing brain was formed around these sedating drugs.  (antihistamines are kin to neuroleptics)  Maybe I really did have a B vitamin methylation problem - or a food allergy to dairy - or something else that never got addressed.  Maybe it was the bad marriage, or the trauma of things that happened that I'm unlikely to ever speak of again.  Maybe it was the suicides and deaths of people too young to die.  Maybe it was that narcissistic control freak who made me afraid to breathe, for fear I would be abandoned, left to the realm of the discarded and disappointed?  Maybe it was the way he ripped all of my beliefs and faith and feelings and spiritual connection to God in the name of his "practice."  Maybe, it was the psychiatric drugs.

 

I don't know how I got there, but I spent easily 30 years in depression, and it tends to be my default state.  When I am stressed, it is the first thing that happens.  It's like a "survival mode," when life gets tough, Jan gets depressed.  Sometimes so much so that she can't move, won't answer the phone, won't take care of herself, her house, her bills, her job.  But it's better.  I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and while I will never be productive like others, at least I'm not drowning in the tar of depression.

 

The drugs?  I think they make a "change," and you know the saying, "A change is as good as a rest."  I think that's the premise under which they work.  Depression is grey, same-same, drudgery, deadness.  The drugs offer a change.

 

Thing is, the change is more permanent than they lead us to believe.  So in my belief system (and this is evidenced by Whitaker, Breggin, and others) the less they are used, the better.  The shorter term the course, the better.  When my friends tell me they are on them, I ask them to please, no more than 6 months.  The long term effects of the drugs, however, are deadly.  Poisonous, as you say - because their effect isn't limited to a tiny transmitter in the brain, like they tell you - it's your whole body.  Your endocrine system, your hormones, your digestive tract, your liver, your kidneys - it's all affected by the drugs.  

 

But here's the other thing, other than MDD (that's me), they are largely ineffective, and the patient would have gotten better anyway.

 

And there are other changes you can make that are for the better.  Like exercise.  Meditation.  A practice of tai chi or Yoga or bike riding or forest bathing, or socializing.  This list is endless - CBT, affirmations, EFT, EMDR, CES, magnesium baths, phone-a-friend, join-a-club, each of these things are a change that can positively affect your depression.

 

A depression to me is literally that:  a depression, or valley - an opportunity to look at the deeper things inside.  I can't always share these places because others find them, well, depressing.  But I know they are there, and they give me a depth and colour of character that I believe enriches my life.

 

Look at a Van Gogh painting.  Imagine it without the darks, without the blacks.  Would the colours be so vibrant without the dark tones?

 

We need it all.

 

I got off the drugs because I started having physical problems.  Granulomas, Baker Cysts, kidney problems, palpitations, muscle weakness, cardio weakness, brain fog, IBS, anhedonia so deep I thought there would be no end to it.  Suicidal thoughts.  Hatred of my fellow human.  Frustration and annoyance at my diminishing capacity.  It was like the end of the day TV broadcast, and the little dot was getting smaller and smaller.  I started quitting things, like cigarettes.  Stomach acid drugs.  Statins.  Each one helped.  And when I tackled the lithium, I started to find myself again, find my passion again.

 

I still haven't recovered from the a**ehole who shredded my beliefs up and shattered them into pieces - that was a pretty thorough job.  But I am finding things to believe in.  The kindness of strangers.  The importance of symbols and archetypes. Connections.  Synchronicities.  The oneness of all life - even when I cannot feel it.  The miracle of this world we live in.

 

And it seems to be enough.  I want this life.  I appreciate this life.  I'll never be what my childhood & adolescent dreams were about - I'll never climb Mt. Everest, I'll likely never even climb Mt. Kosciuszko or learn to surf, or see another meteor shower.  But I have lived, and I am living.  And it is enough.

[dolphins1]

19 months off benzos. Desire to be off all psych meds. I don't know which drug to taper off of next and how to do so. I am on 20mg of Prozac a day and 600mg of gabapentin a day. I started those 2 drugs about 10 months ago.

 

Thanks

[KarenB]

Hello Dolphins, I merged this topic to your own intro thread cause it's about your own situation.  Other topics are for more general comments/thoughts. 

 

Have you seen 'Which drug to taper first?  There's some info in there on tapering antidepressants after a benzo taper. 

 

In your sig it says you started titrating of Prozac.  I guess you ended up going back to 20mg?  If you could update your sig it would be easier to help you - thanks

 

I don't have the experience to advise which to taper first - someone else will hopefully chime in soon. 

 

Karen

[dolphins1]

Hi. I'm into my 21st month benzo free. Put on Prozac and gabapentin at 6 months free. Was severely suicidal. Wish I had not done that. I still experience severe depression / anxiety / cog problems / DR/DP. I'm unable to function pretty much. I want off other meds. I must work or I end up on the street. I live alone. I can barely make myself a smoothie in the morning. I sleep until 1:00 in afternoon. I then drive downtown for cup of coffee. Come home and am online all day for support. I am 59 years old. I hop in the shower at 4:00 and go to work in restaurant. Work is pure hell. I can barely talk. I come home at 12:00 and watch tv until 3:00am. I climb into bed. Go to sleep. I wake up the next day and repeat. That has been my life for 3 years straight.

 

I want to die everyday. I'm unable to use my mind at all. I can't think straight.

 

Ive researched for 4 straight years. I don't know who to trust. A million different opinions. I'm told it takes time. I'm running out of time. I'm tired and exhausted. A walking dead zombie with no soul. I should be locked up.

 

One camp says get off all meds or you will never heal. Another camp says wait until you are more stable then get off remaining drugs. I want off everything. I've had no change in 21 months. The extreme extreme severity has dropped by 5-10% MAYBE. I'm in a STATE that is black dark scary terror filled catatonic.

 

Do I taper my other two drugs now or wait. I have no retirement or savings. I live alone and care for myself barely. I have done nothing for years. No hope. Zero.

 

Help !

[Fresh]

Hi dolphins ,

On Jan.5 you wrote: " I don't know which drug to taper off of next and how to do so. I am on 20mg of Prozac a day and 600mg of gabapentin a day"

 

What changes have you made since then?

Please could you update your signature , so people can see where you're at each time you post.

 

bw , Fresh

[Altostrata]

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

 

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?

 

Please keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Do not listen to the camp that says "get off all meds or you will never heal." That doesn't make any sense.

[dolphins1]

Hi dolphins ,On Jan.5 you wrote: " I don't know which drug to taper off of next and how to do so. I am on 20mg of Prozac a day and 600mg of gabapentin a day"What changes have you made since then?Please could you update your signature , so people can see where you're at each time you post.bw , Fresh

Wel I'm still on 19 mg Prozac and 850mg gabapentin. 21 months off Benzos. A friend said to wait because she still thinks I'm in acute. But it's been 21 months with no change or windows. I figure I want off this other stuff or I'll be like this the rest of my life.

 

Thing is I can afford another sever withdrawl in top of what's going on now. I can work but just barely. Severe dr/ DP coupled with everything else.

 

Really need advise. I just don't know how long I can continue without relief. Yet I do it everyday. Thing is I wonder if other two drugs are messing things up but there is no way of knowing.

 

I live alone and support myself. I must work or in street.

 

It's quite a pickle.

 

I've never been more challenges in my life.

 

I could use some admin chiming in.

[ChessieCat]

Hi dolphins,

 

Alto asked some questions which you haven't answered yet.  Answering these questions will help the mods be able to offer suggestions.

 

Also, I am wondering if you drink alcohol at all?

 

 

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

 

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?

 

Please keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Do not listen to the camp that says "get off all meds or you will never heal." That doesn't make any sense.

[dolphins1]

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

 

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?

 

Please keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, seehttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Do not listen to the camp that says "get off all meds or you will never heal." That doesn't make any sense.

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

 

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?

 

Please keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, seehttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Do not listen to the camp that says "get off all meds or you will never heal." That doesn't make any sense.

i

 

But I thought anti depressants were to toxic and poison. Otherwise why is this forum here. Why would it make sense to get off the meds. They aren't doing anything for me. And I'm not getting any better. Please clarify

[dolphins1]

Hi dolphins,

 

Alto asked some questions which you haven't answered yet.  Answering these questions will help the mods be able to offer suggestions.

 

Also, I am wondering if you drink alcohol at all?

 

 

 

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

 

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?

 

Please keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, seehttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Do not listen to the camp that says "get off all meds or you will never heal." That doesn't make any sense.

 

No I do not drink alcohol

[Fresh]

Hi Dolphin ,  please make it easier for us to assist by updating your signature.

 

You've written:

18 Dec.  19mg prozac  (Posted 20 December 2015 - 06:37 Hello, Dolphins. How did that decrease to 19mg                                         Prozac affect you? )

5 Jan  20mg prozac

11 March  19mg prozac

 

You've written:

5 Jan   600mg gabapentin a day

11 March  850mg gabapentin

 

 

"Posted 05 March 2016 - 08:56 AM

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?"

 

Please go carefully through Altostrata's posts and answer the specific questions asked.

 

You've increased your gabapentin by  more than 25% since January ,  has that helped?

And did the increase back to 20mg prozac help?  How come you decided to updose after dropping 5% to 19mg?

 

 

[dolphins1]

I updated my signature.

 

I need help please.

Hi Dolphin ,  please make it easier for us to assist by updating your signature.

 

You've written:

18 Dec.  19mg prozac  (Posted 20 December 2015 - 06:37 Hello, Dolphins. How did that decrease to 19mg                                         Prozac affect you? )

5 Jan  20mg prozac

11 March  19mg prozac

 

You've written:

5 Jan   600mg gabapentin a day

11 March  850mg gabapentin

 

 

"Posted 05 March 2016 - 08:56 AM

 

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?"

 

Please go carefully through Altostrata's posts and answer the specific questions asked.

 

You've increased your gabapentin by  more than 25% since January ,  has that helped?

And did the increase back to 20mg prozac help?  How come you decided to updose after dropping 5% to 19mg?

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi dolphins,

 

The mods want to help you and are trying their best.  However they need you to answer their questions so that they can know the full situation and offer suggestions.

 

Gabapentin can be prescribed for various things which is why you have been asked why you where prescribed Gabapentin.

 

What is gabapentin (Neurontin)?

 

Gabapentin is an anti-epileptic medication, also called an anticonvulsant.

 

Gabapentin is used in adults to treat nerve pain caused by herpes virus or shingles (herpes zoster), and to treat restless legs syndrome (RLS).

 

Gabapentin may also be used for purposes not listed in this medication guide.

 

 

I've put your current drugs into the drug checker and pasted it below:

 

Interactions between your selected drugs

 

Moderate

 

Applies to: Prozac (fluoxetine), gabapentin

 

Using FLUoxetine together with gabapentin may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

[dolphins1]

Hi dolphins,

 

The mods want to help you and are trying their best.  However they need you to answer their questions so that they can know the full situation and offer suggestions.

 

Gabapentin can be prescribed for various things which is why you have been asked why you where prescribed Gabapentin.

 

What is gabapentin (Neurontin)?

 

Gabapentin is an anti-epileptic medication, also called an anticonvulsant.

 

Gabapentin is used in adults to treat nerve pain caused by herpes virus or shingles (herpes zoster), and to treat restless legs syndrome (RLS).

 

Gabapentin may also be used for purposes not listed in this medication guide.

 

 

I've put your current drugs into the drug checker and pasted it below:

 

Interactions between your selected drugs

 

 

Moderate

 

Applies to: Prozac (fluoxetine), gabapentin

 

 

Using FLUoxetine together with gabapentin may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Cheshire Cat.

 

What questions would you like me to answer?

[KarenB]

Here are the questions we need answers to.  The info helps us give you useful answers.

 

Alto asked:

dolphins, does the cog fog etc. start after your morning dose of gabapentin?

 

What was the gabapentin supposed to do for you?

 

 

Fresh asked:

 

Hi Dolphin ,  please make it easier for us to assist by updating your signature.

 

You've written:

18 Dec.  19mg prozac  (Posted 20 December 2015 - 06:37 Hello, Dolphins. How did that decrease to 19mg                                         Prozac affect you? )

5 Jan  20mg prozac

11 March  19mg prozac

 

You've written:

5 Jan   600mg gabapentin a day

11 March  850mg gabapentin

 

You've increased your gabapentin by  more than 25% since January ,  has that helped?

And did the increase back to 20mg prozac help?  How come you decided to updose after dropping 5% to 19mg?

 

[dolphins1]

Cog fog, severe dr/DP, depression, anxiety is 24/7 from sunup to sundown. Even after taking gabapentin

 

Gabapentin was prescribed 6 months after getting off Benzos for sleep.

 

I've held at about 19mg Prozac.

 

My initial signature read 200mg in morning and 600mg in evening of gabapentin

 

I'm now at 200mg in morning and 850mg if gabapentin In Evening

 

Can I get ff these other meds now ? Do I wait until more stable from benzos? When do I get more stable? I do not want to take anymore meds. I just don't know how to get out of hell.

[Fresh]

Thank you Dolphins1.    

Please can you clarify what "about 19mg of prozac" means.   If you're chipping bits off a 20mg tablet , you're doing yourself a disservice unless you are weighing things exactly.  

 

"I'm now at 200mg in morning and 850mg if gabapentin In Evening".  Please add this to your signature.

 

You're now taking double the amount of gabapentin you were on in January.

If you want to get off the drugs , you need to decrease rather than increase.

 

You may start to feel better , more clear in the head , as you decrease gabapentin.  It makes you dopey.

 

I'm concerned that you're very isolated , and you need to connect with some type of support services in the real world.

We heal much quicker when there's a sense of connection.

Have you investigated any meditation or therapy options?

[dolphins1]

Thank you Dolphins1.    

Please can you clarify what "about 19mg of prozac" means.   If you're chipping bits off a 20mg tablet , you're doing yourself a disservice unless you are weighing things exactly.  

 

Well you are correct. I just cut off the very end and figured it was 19mg. I do have a micro scale I just purchased.

 

"I'm now at 200mg in morning and 850mg if gabapentin In Evening".  Please add this to your signature.

 

You're now taking double the amount of gabapentin you were on in January.

If you want to get off the drugs , you need to decrease rather than increase.

 

You may start to feel better , more clear in the head , as you decrease gabapentin.  It makes you dopey.

 

My signature did not wrap correctly. I have not increased me dose.

 

I'm concerned that you're very isolated , and you need to connect with some type of support services in the real world.

We heal much quicker when there's a sense of connection.

Have you investigated any meditation or therapy options?

[dolphins1]

I did not measure my Initial Prozav cut. It was a guesstimating of 19mg. I just purchased a micro scale to use.

 

My gabapentin signature wrapped so you mis- read. I have not increased. I'm at roughly 850mg a day now.

 

I'm holding.

 

Seems to be so confusing. A friend of mine who knows altostrata has warned me of getting off Prozac and gabapentin to soon and compounding another withdrawl on top of the one I'm in. Heck I don't know which is which now.

 

I'm willing to get off the remaining two but I need to work and earn a living. Can't afford another withdrawl that incapacitates me.

 

Could use your perspective.

[Fresh]

Thank you for clarifying the dosages.

You've pointed out a serious problem - the way you've been guess-timating 19mg.   If you were a mg off , it could mean you've been bouncing between 19.5 and 18mg , a 15% window.   

That's been since last September , and will have created instability.  No wonder you're not improving!

 

I'd suggest holding at precisely 19mg and see how you feel over the next few weeks.  My instinct is you'll start to feel better.

 

bw ,  

[dolphins1]

Posted 15 March 2016 - 11:14 PM

Hi my signature is below. Currently 21 months free of Benzos. Pure hell for the last few years.

 

Severe depression / anxiety / DR/ DP / Cognitive / psychosis type stuff. Pure hell. 24/7

 

I'm 58 and single. Never married. Live alone. I wake up around 12-2 in the afternoon. I go for a morning cup of coffee. Come home and am online chatting with people recovering from psych meds. On the phone all day. I might get one or two things done. I just can't think straight. I then climb into the shower. Then off to work in a restaurant. I come home between 10- midnight. Totally exhausted. I watch movies until 2-3am. It's the only distraction I can manage. I then climb into bed. Wake up and repeat the next day. If I don't have to work I'll go to the beach for a few hours.

 

All this is done under extreme mental and psych duress. I'm like the walking dead. A scared zombie. Pitch black depression. It's a STATE that I'm in. It's way to hard to describe. It's almost a catatonic state.

 

Anyway... Of course I'm petrified. And have no idea how to get well. I never want to take another psych med again after what I've been through.

 

But I'm still in this state.

 

My friends I have formed are supporting me.

 

One lady in particular who is healed now is helping me. Tons of people have said to get off the other two meds I'm on but my friend and a few others say to wait until benzo hell calms down so I don't add another withdrawl on top of the hell IM in. I must be able to work or I'm on the street.

 

As much as I want off Prozav and gabapentin I need to be smart. But my brain ain't working which allows me to be smart.

 

Yet I'm susceptible to ANY suggestion because of the misery I'm in.

 

Yet I don't want to do anything stupid.

 

And there's no where to go for good sound advise unless one is healed and I can get advise from them. Or a forum leader who is healed and read countless stories. They are the ones I seek advice from.

 

You advise please? Do I hold until benzo hell is over or do I taper remaining drugs now. Because others say the other two drugs are causing me problems. And thwarting my ability to heal. Yet my support friend who is well says I'm in benzo hell and to come off other drugs at a later time.

 

It's a real mess.

 

Bottom line is I want out of hell.

 

Tganks

[dolphins1]

Looking for Sound Experienced Advice

 

Hi. 22 months off Benzos. Sill on Prozav and gabapentin. See signature. No change or windows.

 

Looking to get off remaining two drugs. Do I ? Don't I / Not Yet?

 

Please help . I would like to get well already

 

This was posted from friend in Benzo forum on this site.

 

Posted 21 March 2016 - 08:02 AM

Hi Bruce,

 

 

Since you are on the other two drugs which are not benzos, I suggest that you post on the regular forum. The others moderators have much more experience than I do in withdrawing from Prozac and Gabapentin.

 

What I can tell you is that I had a very nasty withdrawal and that I am healing nicely. I am not on any drugs, do not take supplements and abstain from alcohol and caffeine.

 

The fact that you are working (even if it's difficult) and seeing your friend are signs that you have some functionality. I could not do those things, and I am healing. If you don't reinstate, don't take caffeine and get off the drugs, you will heal too. It will just take time. Other drugs won't help you. You will be well again, but you have to give your brain time to heal from the terrible shock it has sustained.

Edited March 25, 2016 by Petunia
Topic merged from tapering forum, title added

[Petunia]

Hi Bruce,

I moved your topic in the tapering forum here to your own intro/update thread. You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Its a good idea to bookmark it or follow it, so its easy to find again.

 

When you were put on Prozac and Gabapentin, as treatment for benzo withdrawal, did they help at all? Have you experienced any improvement at all since starting on these two drugs?

 

As your friend has mentioned, you have some functionality at the moment, you are able to go out, to work, to do what you need to do to maintain your life. My concern is that if you start tapering now, when you may not yet be stable enough to do so, there's a possibility your symptoms may become worse and you lose the functionality you have.

 

You could test this by making a very small cut in one of your drugs, perhaps start with a 5% cut and monitor your symptoms for a month. If there is no change or only minor worsening, which resolves quickly, then you could continue with a slow, safe taper. If you want to remain functional while tapering, its important that you pay very close attention to how your cuts are influencing your symptom pattern and to quickly adjust your taper accordingly, perhaps even holding for months until symptoms settle down again. You need to be able to manage your own taper and keep good daily records of your changing symptoms, rating their intensity.

 

This topic will help you decide which one to start with: Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

Here are the topics for tapering your specific drugs:

 

Tips for tapering off Neurontin (gabapentin)

 

Tips for tapering off Prozac (fluoxetine)

 

Have a think about it, read through the links and then come back here to your thread to ask any questions you may have. Ultimately, this is your decision, we can provide support and suggestions, but you will need to be able to manage your own tapering schedule and deal with any symptoms which may occur.

 

Please stay in touch and let us know what you decide.

 

Petunia.