greatdanemom90 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hello everyone, My Paxil experience started back in 2013. I had gone through a very tough break up (5 year relationship) and I was 23 years old. I had thoughts of suicide, and had on one occasion tried to overdose on something, I don't really remember on what. I had probably been depressed for around 9 months before I started to even consider going on anti-depressants. My MD diagnosed me with major depression and put me on 20 mg of Paxil. Paxil really worked for me, I mean the first few weeks were tough.. I would barely come out of my room, slept all day, didn't really talk to anyone. But, after those few weeks I really started to feel better. I still somehow felt empty but it helped a lot. I wanted to go out again, talk to people, work out. I felt ok now, and it just felt good again to be able to focus and not feel like nothing anymore. Mind you, I am not a person who likes to talk about their problems so I kept this a secret to pretty much my entire family and circle of friends. I simply do not feel comfortable telling anyone that I am depressed or taking any meds. Even after I told my sister, i felt ashamed and judged. I met my current partner in early 2014. I was still taking 20mg daily and I was honest with him about my past and how I struggled with depression and was on anti-depressants. With a lot of support from him, I started to try to get off paxil. I slowly went from 20, to 10..and then i think 5 mg. I'm not too sure. It was a success! I had my moments, my zaps, my strange dreams but I got through it. I felt supported by friends, family and my boyfriend. We decided to move together to another state, where we both got jobs and things were going great. I found out he broke my trust while he was away on training and I felt devastated. From December 2014 to February 2015, I felt like everything was over. He supported me and said he was sorry and that he loved me but I felt like everything was gone...all the trust, love and I couldn't replace it. I would cry everyday, and went back to that horrible state of mind where i felt like nothing, like nobody cared or loved me and I still couldn't talk about it. I couldn't talk to anyone about my problems. I asked my MD to put me on 20mg Paxil and things slowly got better. I felt good again, my relationship is now in a great place, buying a house together and I'm getting my Masters Degree. I now have no insurance, so I can't really go to therapy while I am pretty much trying to get out of this "cold-turkey". It's been 3 days and I've probably cried those 3 days. I've been in bed those 3 days, and the zaps, bad dreams, hot flashes, weird appetite and general "feeling like "****" is back. I do feel like I need some support, I haven't talked to any of my friends or family members about the fact that I was back on Paxil, I felt too weak and ashamed to tell them. Please provide some advice, and I will be there for any of you who need a helping hand. I am in the middle of my Masters program so I am SO afraid this will affect my grades. I am terrified of not being able to concentrate. Thank you all in advance! Taking Paxil since 2013Got off Paxil (cold turkey) June 2014 (Went well!) Back on Paxil since February 2015Cold turkey since October 3rd (Would like to try a different method )Going through severe bouts of crying, zaps, strange dreams ect “You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them...In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...You - only you - will have stars that can laugh.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted October 6, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hi GDM90 Welcome to SA. Sorry to hear you are struggling. Can you confirm you stopped CT 3 days ago? Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
greatdanemom90 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yes, I stopped cold turkey 3 days ago. I had 3 pills left in my refill and I decided it was time to stop. Do you think this is a mistake, since I am in Grad school. I'm terrified this will not go well. Thank you for your kind reply. Taking Paxil since 2013Got off Paxil (cold turkey) June 2014 (Went well!) Back on Paxil since February 2015Cold turkey since October 3rd (Would like to try a different method )Going through severe bouts of crying, zaps, strange dreams ect “You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them...In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...You - only you - will have stars that can laugh.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted October 6, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 6, 2015 We don't re comment CT. If it was me I would get another prescription, reinstate and work through a tapering plan (with us). All is going well for you so your goal should be to come off healthy and fully functioning rather than quicklyHere are a number of threads for you to readWhat is withdrawal - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/Three key principles to coming off ADs - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/On reinstating - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/Tips for tapering Paxil - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/405-tips-for-tapering-off-paxil-paroxetine/Read through these and come back and ask any questions here. Can I also ask you to complete your signature. Instructions are here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 6, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 6, 2015 Welcome Greatdanemom, I completely agree with Dalsaan, go back on your full dose of Paxil and then begin a proper taper once you have stabilized again. Withdrawal after a CT can get brutal and last a long time and you have a lot to lose, not worth the risk in my opinion. Petunia. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Nomoreheadmeds Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Welcome 'greatdanemom90' I wish you well Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently 5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015. Link to comment
greatdanemom90 Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Thank you all. I have stabilized since going back on my full 20mg again. I'm trying to figure out how to start, but I just don't know if I should do this while the semester is still going. Should I wait until winter break? I feel like maybe that's the best path. Again, thank you all. Taking Paxil since 2013Got off Paxil (cold turkey) June 2014 (Went well!) Back on Paxil since February 2015Cold turkey since October 3rd (Would like to try a different method )Going through severe bouts of crying, zaps, strange dreams ect “You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them...In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...You - only you - will have stars that can laugh.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Link to comment
Nomoreheadmeds Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hi 'greatdanemom90' .A very slow taper will hopefully not be as severe for you as CT for you.I suppose you have to be ready in your own mind.I wish I had done a very slow taper . Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently 5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 9, 2015 Administrator Share Posted October 9, 2015 Welcome, GDM. As you've only just reinstated Paxil, it would be wise to stabilize for several months before starting to taper. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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