Jump to content
nick1990

nick1990: citalopram crap

Recommended Posts

Flowers

Hello Nick

 

I think sometimes you can follow tapering to the letter and still get into a wave. 

 

Just a thought.  I see from your thread that you had mild bronchitis in September. Did the Dr prescribe antibiotics or any other meds? If so they may have given you a bit of instability.

 

Maybe you have just been doing too much and not resting enough. Keeping emotionally and physically stable in WD does help I think.  I am not sure about smoking but would try to stick to a healthy lifestyle. We are so fragile putting cigarettes into our bodies is probably not the best thing!

 

It seems like you are feeling emotional reading about how you have found love for other people rather than them being annoying to you. Maybe some of the numbing of emotions from Citalopram is leaving you as you reduce.

 

I hope this all settles down quickly for you. I know it is scary when a wave hits after doing so well. 

 

The only advice I can give  you as an old timer  is to maybe slow down a little and be gentle with yourself and keep holding at the current dose.

 

Let us know how you are doing.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thanks for your responses Jozeff and Flowers :) much appreciated ! 

 

I do think i need to rest more, its something that I've known all along but kind of ignore haha.. 

 

Flowers, I wasn't put on antibiotics, i haven't taken a single dose of them for over 3 years now! - as i don't want to throw anything in the mix that could upset things.

 

I haven't had a day of rest since this wave started on wednesday. Been digging holes, planting trees, building fences, surfing, getting sunburnt. Its been full on - but it has been my own fault.  Im taking a break today and tomorrow - and will try and relax and take it easy for the rest of this week before a big weekend coming up end of next week. 

 

This wave has been a real pain. Or should i say, the last two and a half months have been. Symptoms chopping and changing, day in day out - sometimes changing every few minutes, from feeling depressed and hopeless to feeling content and calm. The anxiety hasn't been too bad, as I've been managing anxious thinking and dispelling it relatively fast. This is a great tool, which i am learning more and more about.   

 

When in the depressive/ anxious waves, I'm finding myself to be quite sensitive around people, also with this strange feeling of isolation. Its hard to explain, but I'm also feeling this craving for love and connection with people. 

 

Have also in the last day began having minor needling feeling in the soles of my feet when standing up and walking around. It comes and goes though. Also, some twitching in the corner of my eye is happening again. Minor too.

Having some nice tension headaches too and very sleepy from 8pm. Sleeping well, but dreams are relentless. Really relentless. Im getting between 8-10 hours sleep a night which is sufficient i think :D 

 

All in all, i don't think my symptoms are getting progressively "worse" but more, they're changing quite a bit. I feel the over exertion, both physically and emotionally as well as my life situation of friends leaving for overseas, having girl trouble and being a little "lost" in life, has contributed to intensifying this wave.  

 

Hoping these symptoms will start to subside soon, I'm trying to embrace calmness, acceptance and love as much as possible, and finding it quite refreshing too be honest!

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Seems like I'm slowly returning to my base line, with some minimal symptoms now and then. Been feeling "OK" for the last 4-5 days but the odd neuro emotion. 

 

Again, i over did things over the last few days and have clocked up quite a lot of surfing time. Was pretty exhausted yesterday and still went for 2 hour surf. I might never learn. . haha ..

 

I know that exercise is good for me and that it aids in recovery when tapering slowly. 

Feeling a little ho-hum today, mostly fatigue related with a slight headache and some minor depressed feelings with frustration etc. Probably quite a normal reaction to overdoing things physically. 

 

Im having a lay day today, and then have a few things on over the coming 3-4 days. Will ensure i rest enough and keep eating well. 

 

But i was just reporting to say, even though there are a few symptoms around, i feel better than i did a week or so ago. and am hoping i might be coming out of this wave/blip thing which I've been dealing with for the past several weeks. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Carmie

Hi Nick, 

 

Yay!! Glad you’re slowly getting back to baseline. I’m not a surfer but I loooove the beach. How cool you get to spend so much time there. 

 

Yes, please get some rest and enjoy it and continue to eat well. I love my coconut n fruit smoothies.

 

Sending hugs🤗

Share this post


Link to post
Flowers

Good news Nick. 

 

I agree exercise is good - in moderation!  Just have to get a balance.

 

Enjoy your rest day and the surfing you lucky thing!

 

Love Flowers xxx

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Symptoms seemed to have stayed quite minor and definitely was feeling on my way back to WD normal - slowly, but pretty sure that the intensity of symptoms were easing . 

 

On Saturday morning I got hit with a nasty throat/head cold. Very, very fatigued and just felt awful . I think it was brought on from overdoing things physically and I just got run down . (My own fault)

 

Cold symptoms eased yesterday but still feel a bit off today and had another active day . Tomorrow I’m resting!

 

Anyway, I took some fish oil this evening and when driving back to my parents I got hit with some nausea and then some intense 1 second long knot/anxiety feeling in my stomach and it would startle me . Happened 3 or 4 times within 20 mins.

 

Thought I should mention it here as I feel it’s happened before when taking fish oil in the afternoon/evenings . But not in the mornings, when I have it with my breakfast..

 

I also started taking a new iron tablet today which some vegan friends have recommended. 3 months ago I was checked for iron and b12 and both were quite low, I have since incorporated a little organic meat into my diet as well as more seafood and eggs. I’ll be getting my levels checked again in the next week to see how I’m doing. This iron supplement also contains b12 and b6 - both of which I’ve had before so shouldn’t cause an issue .

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Still in this bloody wave. Not much fun but its not too intense. Mostly 2-3/10 intensity. I thought i was in the clear but seemed to start up on Sunday/Monday after my cold/virus subsided. 

It's the same old culprits - Anxiety, OCD thinking, guilty thinking, low mood etc etc.. it changes through the day and can feel pretty much fine one minute and then anxious the next. Few foot tingles and some mild dreaming.  Sleeping really well though as i always do. Probably about 10 hours a night. 

The neuro emotions are very exhausting and if I'm not careful they can make me feel quite depressed and hopeless. Im learning to deal with them a lot better now though than i was a few years ago. 

I should mention that even though this waves been going on for a few days now, the symptoms aren't as intense as they were a few weeks ago - so I'm slowly stabilising but its just happening a lot slower than i had hoped for. 

I don't see myself tapering for a while now as I'm going to have to make the slow switch over to another generic starting in February, and want to be as stable as possible for that. Plus it would be nice to gain stability and feel good for a month or two as apposed to keep pushing my taper. So realistically, once I've completed the switch i probably won't begin tapering for a few weeks after - so could be April/May next year that i resume with my taper. Its a real bugger because i was doing so well over the last 18 months, but obviously pushed myself a bit hard the last few drops. 

Anyway, here i am at 22mg of Citalopram - Was hoping to be at 10mg by the end of next year, but we'll see what happens. Theres no point in tapering when I'm feeling low and having some symptoms, so ill wait it out and continue on down the ladder when I'm ready. 

Share this post


Link to post
Flowers

Hi Nick

 

Sometimes these things take time and you have a good plan worked out to cover the switch to a new generic. 

 

Just think how well you have done so far - you have been amazing!  As you say this wave is not great but it's not a disaster either. Maybe, sometimes a wave will come without any possible triggers.

 

You are coping so well. 

 

Love and hugs

 

xxxxx

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thank you for your reply flowers - I appreciate it so much . And you are right I have been doing so well . It’s just a hiccup on the road to recovery 😊❤️

 

I just juiced some spinach from the garden and it tasted soooo bad. 5 minutes later I was vomiting most of my stomach contents haha ..

 

i took the citalopram about 4 hours ago so hoping it had absorbed enough before vomiting. 

 

Hope your well flowers. 

Love and hugs 

 

nick

Share this post


Link to post
Flowers

Yuck that spinach sounds awful! I can't do smoothies or anything like that although I know they are good for you. I have to incorporate the veg in my meals. 

 

Hopefully your system will have absorbed most of the Citalopram before your little upset!

 

I am having a few problems with another drug I am taking after having a window and feeling normal for 5 months. It was all through the summer here so was wonderful to enjoy all the things the summer brings.  I am waiting some surgery so haven't tapered for a long long time  - didn't want to rock the boat. 

 

I am sure things will settle for us both soon.

 

Love and more hugs

 

Flowers xxx

Share this post


Link to post
jozeff

Hi Nick,

 

How are you today?

 

Too bad you felt so bad the last couple of weeks.

 

You were doing great with your taper but had a hickup.

 

I think you will continue your successful tapering soon and your road to zero is coming!

 

How long will you stay at 22 mg? Just take your time and let us know how it goes.

 

Cheers and sending strength from the Netherlands!!

 

Jozeff

 

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Sorry for your struggles flowers and Joseff.

Sounds like your both having a rough time , i feel bad complaining of my symptoms when others are struggling much more .

Ive been there though , and you both know that this will pass and you will, with time and patience, feel better. It’s hard to see when in the thick of it , but it is the truth.

 

Jozeff, I’ll hold at 22mg probably for a few more months . I should be ok to resume tapering in a month, but I’m having to change generic brand in February. I don’t anticipate it causing much trouble , but want to be nice and settled for the transition. I’ll slowly switch over a couple of months and then resume tapering. It’s a bugger having to hold at this dose for a few months but I believe it will put me in a good position to resume my taper when I do so. 

Both of you look after yourselves. You’ll be ok - just give it time 

 

hugs 

Nick .

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Ha ! Another wave - jeez I’m getting a bit sick of this .. Anxiety . Slight tinglyness. Frustration. Low mood.  Not as intense as my last anxiety wave but when is this going to ease up ? 

It has been nearly 16 weeks ! And I have tapered safely to a tee. Most of my days since this “wave” started I’ve had some minor neuro symptoms, and then every week or two I get hit with some more intense feelings. 

It’s not getting worse but it’s still rearing it’s ugly head . I have to admit, I’m feeling a little hopeless. Especially considering I have taken my time and really listened to my body . I can appreciate getting hit by a little wave or two for a week or so after a little drop but why am I dealing with this still 16 weeks out ? It’s livable and bareable but very unpleasant at times . 

 

Do I do anything ? Or do I just wait it out ? I have to say I’ve had the concept of an updose cross my mind but there’s no way in hell im doing it . I’ve come too far, and if this really is just “an extended wave” then so be it. 

 

I guess what I’m looking for is reassurance..

Ive reduced from 45mg to 22mg SLOWLY over the past 22 months . I’ve had the odd wave here and there , but generally it’s seemed to clear up quite fast. Now here I am 16 weeks after my last 1.5% reduction (which I was doing on a weekly to every two week basis, sometimes every 3 weeks depending on how I was feeling - in other words, some months I’d drop a total of 5-6% and other months I’d only reduce 2-3 %)

I must reiterate, my symptoms are uncomfortable at times but most of the time they’re quite manageable - especially when practicing mindfulness and AAF. 

I’m just a little panicky as they seem to still be lingering . 

Its making me feel a little bit like “I can’t do this” and making me doubt that I can eventually get down to “0”.

 

Please, any words of wisdom or advice here would be so appreciated. I know I’ll come right , but I just need some support at times.

this is so not easy !!!

thank you :) 

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Oops it’s been 10 weeks or so since my wave hit - not 16 .. don’t know where I got that figure from .. 

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

Have there been any external changes around you?  Or have you been doing anything different?  Sometimes it's worth check outside of yourself as there might be something that is stressing you that you haven't realised.

 

I was very irritable and on edge at the end of last week and thought it might have been because of the reduction I had made, thinking it had been 2 weeks, but when I checked it had been 3 weeks so I was a bit surprised at how I was feeling.  When I thought about what else might be causing it I remembered that we had had several gusty windy days and I am fairly certain that that was the cause.  I've been feeling much more settled in the last couple of days so I think that was the cause.

 

It might be battle fatigue.  Getting fed up with being fed up most of the time.  I think we all go through stages like that.  Like being sick of being sick when you have a bad cold.  At least with a cold we usually know roughly how long it will last.  With what we are going through we don't have that same type of hope.

 

The other thing you might want to consider is whether it is the drug that is actually causing the issues.  To work out if this is the case, you could make a tiny reduction.  If things stay the same or improve then you know you are heading in the right direction. 

 

Withdrawal Normal Description

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thanks for your response Chessie. All makes sense to me. I’ve had some life changes as of late but nothing too significant. It’s certainly played a roll in my mood. But I still feel pretty sure it’s WD . The obvious WD symptoms are there. I could try the small reduction but I have a gut feeling this is to do with stability and not the actual drug. The symptoms are similar to those that I had a couple years ago when I tapered too fast - just not as intense . But it’s a window/wavey sort of pattern. I’ve held in the past for a month or so and just felt better and better as I held. 

 

Are you thinking this could be a tolerance issue as apposed to a WD issue Chessie ? 

I’ve certainly felt better in myself when I was tapering but if I dropped too close together I could feel the WD symptoms creeping up . Also, this “wave” began about 2-3 weeks after a reduction, which is when I would tend to notice them during my taper . 

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

From what you have described it would seem to be withdrawal.  With Christmas and the new year coming up you might want to wait until early January before thinking about reducing again.

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Ok thanks Chessie - I think that is the case . Just my brain catching up on all the prior reductions. And mixed in with life events , it’s just unsettled me a little . 

 

I’m not planning on reducing again for a a few months . I have a generic switch to do from February to April so will wait till after that. 

Thanks for your input Chessie . 

Share this post


Link to post
Carmie

Hi Nick,

 

Good idea to hold for a while. I like how Brassmonkey described the holds: 

 

“ During that waiting time people may think that they’re not doing anything and want to get on with it. When, in fact, doing nothing is very proactive. It’s those little unfelt things that need to be finished before the next step can be taken. 

 

It’s letting the glue harden, the paint dry, the cement cure. The things that need to be complete before the path is safe to walk on again. If these details are ignored then they start to pile up and compound each other, then somewhere down the line the foundation slips out from under us and the whole thing collapses. “ 

 

Take care n enjoy the surf💚

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
brassmonkey

Hi Nick-- I'm sorry to hear that the wave is still being a pain.  From what you describe that's all it is though, just a bad wave and it will burn itself out given time.  You've mentioned several times about really pushing things the last several months, that could be a factor in the wave getting started.  Need to chill man.  Other than that you're doing all the right things.  Over the years I've noticed that the 20mgai range is often a problem area for a lot of people.  I'd have to look at the chart for this medication, but I bet it's right at the knee area where the chart turns from fairly level to very vertical.  This would cause the body to really question what's happening because a lot more of the receptors are going to start coming back on line so the body has a lot more active healing to do.  Once the transition is over things smooth out a lot.  Trust your body and keep up with the AAF.

 

Brass

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thanks for all your responses friends 😊

 

It meens a lot!

 

I’ll continue to hold and stabilise.

Today was a FAR better day . Almost no symptoms at all .

 

And I’ll try not to overdo things as much . It’s something I should focus on more.

Balance .

 

hugs,

Nick

 

Share this post


Link to post
jozeff

Good to hear Nick!

 

Every day is a new chance. Sometimes I have an ugly day and the next day I cannot relate to that at all. Like a different life....

 

Keep up your good work Nick, you'll get off this stuff in time and you'll be yourself again with far less symptoms bthats for sure!

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

Share this post


Link to post
Flowers

Hi Nick

 

Lots of good advice and reassurances on here for you. I hope you feel better able to cope with a hold now.

 

Just remember when in a wave to treat yourself gently and not overdo things - work or pleasure  - and you will be fine!

 

Love and hugs.

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thanks all. Have been ok last few days. Bit of a wave today , but just neuro stuff and fatigue. I’ll come right soon enough.

 

I wanted to put something down here - something for others to read in case they have been struggling with something similar in the hope that it may help others.

 

Its taken me nearly half of my life to come to this conclusion. And I’m not quite there yet but it’s slowly piecing itself together.

 

When I was a kid I did things . Similar to what a lot of young people do , but a little more “rare” maybe . 

I felt bad about it after the time had passed, mostly due to social conditioning and our societies view on sexual things. 

It upset me - I felt sad and bad and guilty all at once. 

I went to a doctor with my mother, and he said I have OCD and gave me citalopram.

 

Life returned to normal and I enjoyed my teenage years . My childhood experiences didn’t bother me. I was busy partying and surfing and chasing girls. 

 

When I was about 19 I woke up one day and had an anxiety and overwhelming guilt about my experience. It lasted a week or two, I couldn’t rationalise it and then I went back to normal . 

 

This became more and more frequent over the coming years . Guilt, sadness and anxiety about the situation - I became almost obsessed with it, trying to convince myself that I was alright . That what happened was alright. I would sit and google and go into these almost trance like states of guilt . 

And then as quickly as they’d show up, I’d revert to feeling ok again . And this went on and on. 

I thought I had bad OCD. I thought I was getting sicker. I would then start obsessing about other taboo topics and get stuck in a guilt fog related to those topics. 

Again they would last for a few weeks at most and then I’d feel back to normal .

I clocked up hundreds of hours of counselling sessions , wanting reassurance that I didn’t need to feel bad about these things. It would bring temporary relief and then I’d return to feeling bad again .

Years went by, same back and forth - trying to keep myself busy as that definitely helped. 

Then I figured out the drug is probably causing a bunch of issues and the rest is history . 

 

When ive crashed in the past from too fast tapering or found myself in a bad wave , the feelings of guilt resurface to an overwhelming level . It’s all consuming . Somehow I’d make it through each wave, not realising it’s a wave and then I’d feel better.

 

The last two years , I have been in a good place in my mind. I have had some WD symptoms but I’ve felt clearer. My childhood experiences are things to be smiled at and laughed at. Life is good. I can rationalise it all and understand why they happened without feeling bad about myself.

 

As some of you will know, I’m back in a wave now - it’s been quite nasty but nothing like before when I’ve crashed . 

I knew when this wave started 10

weeks ago that these guilt feelings would come up . I told myself that it’ll be fine though as I know the truth and the way I should feel about my past experiences. 

Somehow though, withdrawal will twist your memory and your mind . The guilt has been moderate at times and I find myself in the same old pattern . 

 

I have realised though that this is WD AND DRUGS. Not me. Not my organic self. 

Its revolutionary for me. It’s taken me half my life to realise this , but it is a settling feeling . I still feel guilty and bad about things when I’m in a wave. BUT I now have this truth to hold onto . 

Its painful knowing how I should feel about something , but not being able to feel that way. 

If I go into my mind and start analysing and thinking when I’m in a wave, it just makes it worse and the guilt more intense. I have an urge to go into my head and analyse when I feel bad. It’s second nature to me, but it never helps.

 

Mindfulness has been a saving grace . Observing a thought and letting it pass without looking into it. The sensations of anxiety, guilt or sadness pass with the thought itself , but if I delve into it, these sensations intensify.

 

Its a tough road - some days I feel fine, others I’m plagued with guilt and overthinking tendencies. However, now that I know that the drugs are to blame , it’s obvious - I find these times a little easier to deal with. And I know with stability as well as a reduction in the drug comes more clarity of mind.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Flowers

Hi Nick

 

Thanks for sharing this which probably wasn't easy for you.

 

It's so easy to say don't beat yourself up about things in your past as we all have things in our past that we regret or feel guilty about. But when WD comes into play it is a totally different ball game!  

 

It is so good to read that you are getting to a good place where you can see what is happening when in wave and using your coping skills like mindfulness to help you. I guess it is all about coming to terms with what happened and moving on from any bad thoughts that creep in sometimes.  You are learning how to live without the drug one day.

 

I think you are doing a great job in facing your demons now there isn't so much of the drug in your system. The past is past and you have a great future ahead of you.

 

I am sorry the wave is still around but you are doing all the right things to help yourself.  Take it steady and enjoy each day as it comes.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
jozeff

Hi Nick, 

 

Thanks souch for your open mind and thoughts. Very recognisable some parts.

 

You know a great deal about yourself and that is a blessing. You'll be alright, that's for sure!

 

 

I'll have to read your post again because my short term memory is not the greatest 😉.

 

What age did they give you citalopram if I may ask? (You probably mentioned it somewhere in your posts but hey, I'm a chaotic mind...)

 

Well, thanks for your thoughts and for sharing these feelings with us.

 

 

Hope your wave will blow away Nick!

Cheers

 

Jozeff

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thank you both of you lovely people .

 

I’ll visit both of your intro topics soon and have a read through - I’m just not trying to over do things on the forum at the moment . 

 

Jozeff, I was started on it at 15 years old. 

I’ve recently turned 28. It’s amazing realising the effects it’s had on me . Both being on it and the WD from it. As a friend of mine said yesterday , it’s not something that’s meant to be in the human experience - which I found quite hilarious. 

Its one heck of a challenge, but I’m pretty sure it’s all going to be very worthwhile. 

 

Love and hugs to the both of you 

Nick. 

Share this post


Link to post
brassmonkey

That's one big corner turned and a major life lesson learned.  Those problems have been handled and there is no need to address them again.  If they can now bring a smile to your face now, enjoy them when they show up, otherwise they're ancient history.  I'm so glad you've had a major break through and thank you for sharing it with us.

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Little update - And its kind of a good one ! 

Busy week or two, again. Trying to not overdo things though. I feel like i am turning a corner in regards to this wave which lasted 3 months. Im still not feeling amazing, and having some very minor WD symptoms - But i think they're mostly due to the last 4 days being overly active. 

The symptom intensity has definitely mellowed out and I've had some days in the last week where I've felt pretty content. Compared to a few weeks ago, this is quite a difference. 

Seems that even though it has been a difficult couple of months, it has just been a wave - for whatever reason, a more intense one than compared to previous reductions. As I've said, I'm still noticing some symptoms, mostly neuro emotions, but they're nowhere near as overwhelming as they were a few weeks ago. 

I thought i had better write this down now, incase i disappear for a few months into living my life again. Wont be tapering yet, as i have a generic switch to make in Feb, March, April. But should be good and solidly stable to resume tapering after that.

Thanks for your support during the dark times friends. 

Nick

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Important question here - I’ve awoke to a slightly sore throat and have examined the back of my throat with a torch, seems I have a significant white spot with red around it. Other symptoms aren’t too bad , it’s just the physical appearance of it. 

I will go to the doc to see what they say , but have a feeling they will want to give me antibiotics. 

What is the best port of call here ? Which antibiotics are safest ? And least likely to cause disruption to my nervous system ?

thanks 

Nick

Share this post


Link to post
jozeff

Hi Nick, 

 

Good to hear you are feeling a bit better!

 

Way to go!

 

Antibiotics I don't know much about them combined with citalopram.

 

Did you have an adverse reaction to previous antibiotics. I have had penicillin and amoxicillin many times without problems. Once I used doxycycline I had a bright red back, itching like hell within 20 minutes after taking the dose.... allergic reaction. I was given antihistamine and within the hiyry problem was over.

 

So the only advice I can give you is: if you are given an antibiotic you never had before, take a bit and wait an hour before taking the rest.

 

Combination with citalopram.....I hope someone else has some advice for you. I take citalopram but never had to take antibiotics while using it.

 

 

Take care!!

 

Jozeff

Share this post


Link to post
brassmonkey

Gargle with warm salt water, not strong but about like sea water, but don't use sea water, or if you have it there the nasty tasting yellow Listerine.  Do it several  times a day and give it a few days to see if it helps.

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

Thanks Jozeff and Brass. 

 

Just got back from the doc. Good news, no strep throat. Its viral and she seems to think its nothing to worry about.

 

Bad news, been hit by another wave just after posting that I've turned a corner. haha. 

Oh well.

 

Its pretty much just low mood, slight anxiety, guilty feelings - again the usual culprits. Heavy feeling eyes and fatigue with some slight anxiety feelings in my legs. 

 

Pretty gutted, once again to be hit by a wave after feeling better. I know its how it goes, but dam this episode after my last drop has taken far longer to settle than i expected. Oh well..

 

On a good note, the tingly, shooting pains in my feet haven't been present, neither have the eye twitches for the most part. 

It seems to be neuro emotions almost solely. Id say a 2-3/10 intensity.  I do find it very hard to deal with though. Even though i been through it hundreds of times before.

 

Late week saw some pretty good days, almost feeling normal, so its a good sign i know. But these waves are really getting to me. 

Im feeling a little desperate to be honest, almost angry, in a way i just want to go on a rampage and break stuff and just go wild. Its really building up inside of me, this frustration, anger and utter dissapointment. I have done everything in my power to go slow and safe with this tapering stuff - i have researched and read and read and read so that i can put myself in the best possible position to taper safely and with minimal symptoms. 

It is a truly horrible feeling being hit by wave after wave when i have done this taper so far to a tee. 

I have to day, the thought of staying on the drug to avoid any more of this sh*t has been crossing my mind. But i know once i return to my baseline, ill feel differently about it all.

Sorry for the downbeat post - Its just because I'm feeling low and pessimistic. I just wanted to write it down though and express how I'm feeling, because theres no point in keeping it bottled up inside of me. 

 

Nick 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
jozeff

Nick, 

 

I understand your frustrations. Good to hear though that you didn't have an infection.

 

Just to let you know.... I have a soar throat and a light cold and this ramps up the symptoms because I'm tired and have low mood and lots of thoughts.

 

Once your throat gets better the WD symptoms will probably disappear or subside.

 

Keep up your spirit. Sometimes writing it all down help a lot!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

Share this post


Link to post
nick1990

HeY mate ! 

 

I appreciate you taking your time to respond to me , it means a lot !

 

Your right about the cold/virus thing , it does effect every system in your body and makes you feel rotten. 

 

I will keep my spirits up mate, I know I’ll be fine, it’s just part of this WD process , making you focus on the negative and only believe the worst is happening. It’s one hell of a trip that’s for sure ! 

 

Hope that you’re managing well bro.

Be well,

Nick.

Share this post


Link to post
jozeff

You're welcome Nick,

 

Thanks! I'm at Disneyland today so I  try not to worry as much.

 

 

Lot of distraction!

 

Have a nice day Nick.

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy