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PoetJester: among the living again after 15 yrs of Zoloft and Zyprexa


PoetJester

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Hello

 

I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean.

I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries.

Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine

 

The Psychiatrist

His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white

He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight.

 

A Reflection On Our Times

So much lust and vanity under the sun

Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.

Edited by scallywag
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Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Good to read your story. I would like to read more about your process, in and out of medication, and how you are finally feeling. 

 

I have had some severe crisis, that have put me back on medication. But I would like to be able to function without the necessity to take any psychotropic drug, and just receive psychotherapy when I need it and when I am having one of my crisis. 

 

 

Are you taking any medication now? 

Zyprexa 15 mg  for 5 months  in 2010. I quit cold turkey /Zyprexa 5 mg from sept 2011 to sept 2012. I quit cold turkey

Lamictal and Geodon for around 6 months (from around sept 2012 to feb 2013)

Trazodone/ Klonopin 0.5 mg / 1 mg /Quetiapine  and gabapentin 600 mg/ Risperidone and gabapentin 600 mg

Gabapentin 1200 mg  around feb 2014 to  june 2014/ Gabapentin 900 mg july 2014 to December 2014

Invega 6 mg dec 2014 (for 8 days) / Gabapentin 600 mg

Invega 6 mg April 2015 / Gabapentin 900 mg

Invega 3 mg May 2015 / Gabapentin 600 mg

Since May 25th Gabapentin 600 mg

July 24 Gabapentin 400 mg August 18 Gabapentin 300 mg

Currently taking Invega 6 mg and Venlafaxine 150 mg. 2018

2019. I took invega 3 mg for two months. I stop taking medication two days ago (11/13) I am doing ok.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.

 
 
 
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HI PJ,

Thanks for sharing your story!

I am so sorry for the hellish experience with these deadly poisons!

 

You are surely one of the strongest survivor and I really admire you!

 

I'm so happy for you to be able to live life again and get yourself back! What a incredible achievement! You deserve the best that the life can offer for rest of your life!

 

How long did it start getting better after stopping? Did you go cold turkey or taper slowly?

 

Do you mind adding the med history and withdrawal details to help everyone here still on the road.

 

Again, thanks for sharing your very encouraging and inspiring story!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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hi lex

thanks for the post

I had tapered down my Zoloft from 200mg to 100mg and my Zyprexa from 17.5 to 10mg around 2010 without any problems.  Every couple of months from 2006 onwards,  I would try to wean myself off of the meds. entirely.  I would feel great the first day, but on the second day I would have trouble getting any sleep and would develop nausea.  On the third day, after going 2 days without sleep and sick to my stomach,  I would become completely exasperated and give in and take the pills again and then fall asleep.  From 2006 onwards, I went about this far into withdrawal every few months or so.  For me the withdrawal process was almost like rocking a pop machine back and forth until it finally goes.  The reason I had to go all the way this time was even with the heavy doses of meds., I was losing the ability to sleep.  Towards the end of my time on the meds my sleep kept getting shorter and shorter.  The last day I took them I had horrific nightmares almost instantaneously upon falling asleep (one of a women bashing in another women's head with a large rock).  It was too much and I felt intuitively that with all the weight gain and inactivity along with a 2 1/2 pack a day smoking habit, that my life was nearing an end.  I was only 42 at the time.  So one day in February 2014 I quit cold turkey.  Within a couple weeks of stopping many if not most of my side effects went away.  My blood pressure problem, nearly passing out when rising from my haunches went away as did the daily diarrhea.  I lost the 45 lbs. that I mentioned through daily walking and biking.  I was for a few months socially isolated and suspicious of people in general especially when I knew how awful the pills had done me and they had tried to convince me otherwise. Since then I have slowly started going out in the world.   My parents were, at first, quite apprehensive.  To them the doctor's orders were sacrosanct, even if they were drastically shortening my life and degrading my quality of living.  Eventually they began to see the remarkable improvement.  Before when on the meds, the one time a week I would leave the apartment was when my mother would pick me up to get groceries and in social situations I would have a totally depressed demeanor due to low self-esteem due to the fact that I had grown fat and could do almost nothing with my life due to the severe lethargy brought on by the pills.  Now, I bike 4 miles to get my own groceries and another 8 to visit my parents every couple of weeks and just go everywhere in general on my old ramshackle mountain bike.  I have been trying my hand at stand-up comedy at small bars around the city with pretty good success and am a lot more outgoing and upbeat in person and just more independent, in general.  Even though I am 10 times more active then before, I suffer from pretty poor sleep which is totally maddening, but a trade-off I am willing to accept.  In the past year I have begun to resemble Darth Vader, sans helmet, from Return of the Jedi, with huge bags under my eyes.   About my med history, I am not terribly computer savvy and only just got the internet for the first time 2 days ago, so I am not sure how to make my signature show up.

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

Link to comment

Good to read your story. I would like to read more about your process, in and out of medication, and how you are finally feeling. 

 

I have had some severe crisis, that have put me back on medication. But I would like to be able to function without the necessity to take any psychotropic drug, and just receive psychotherapy when I need it and when I am having one of my crisis. 

 

 

Are you taking any medication now? 

Hi alldaisy

Thank you for the post.

I am not currently taking any meds and haven't been on any since feb 2014, except for two days in august of this year when I took Ambien and  Remeron solely as sleep aides.  Ambien made me confused and forgetful and the remeron made me dizzy so I quit  them immediately.  I have had plenty of crisis when going off meds so I can sympathize.  It always ends up being me (and sometimes my old cat ) against the world.  The meds are obviously a terrible crutch that the doctors have burdened us with, but this seems like a pretty decent site to get advice and support.  At the same time I withdrew from the drugs, I threw out my television and for almost a year and a half functioned with only a sony cd boombox and occasional trips to the public library's computer lab to get news of the world. I didn't own a computer until early this year.  I got  a cheap laptop just for entering and storing my writing and I just got the internet for the first time 2 days ago.  I guess what I am trying to say is I turned-off and tuned-in to my inner spirit, my inner voice.   I took up studying religion and poetry on my own, even though reading was never one of my strong suits in grade school.  I would also tell you to Put your trust in God.  He can set you on the right track and if you ever feel like chatting send me a post back.

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Hi PJ,

 

Thanks again so very much for your kindest and speedy reply taking time and sharing great details!

It sounds all problems you had are all due to drug side effects, and you recover pretty quickly soon after you stopped all the meds. If I undertpstand correctly, you didn't experience withdrawal or only very short and mild withdrawal. Most of the ppl here have more issues with stopping the drug than drug side effects as their most severe symptoms usually start during taper and /or after stopping. if true, you might consider yourself extremely lucky if you read most stories here how horrible the withdrawal can be.

 

Neverthless, I'm so happy for you to be free of these dangerous drugs and getting your full health back!

 

Best wishes and luck to you!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi again Lex

I did have a rough go of it when withdrawing.  Six days without sleep while vomiting all over my apt. It was quite traumatic.  My sleep is still screwed up a year and a half later, but I am much happier to be off the stupid meds.

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Thank you PJ for clarifying!

 

Sorry I misunderstood!

Now I see those happened after you stopped the meds.

 

Your successful story is very encouraging to everyone here. Thanks again for sharing! We all need it so much to continuing.

 

Hope your sleep improves quickly and feel even better!

 

Take care,

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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PoetJester,

 

Thanks so much for your fast reply and your advices. I am glad that you are better and that you overcame all the very disturbing post-withdraw effect. 

 

I have struggle as you do not have idea. When I quit Zyprexa, I was more sick that when I was put on the medication. Now I am a little bit  better. But on my sad days, when I cry, or when I got emotional affected for any stupid reason, my sleep get very disrupted. 

 

They have put me on a benzodiazepine to help me sleep. But that drug is very strong and I cannot function the day after. I keep druggie the whole day. 

 

Take care, and thanks again for your response. I truly appreciate your feedback. 

Zyprexa 15 mg  for 5 months  in 2010. I quit cold turkey /Zyprexa 5 mg from sept 2011 to sept 2012. I quit cold turkey

Lamictal and Geodon for around 6 months (from around sept 2012 to feb 2013)

Trazodone/ Klonopin 0.5 mg / 1 mg /Quetiapine  and gabapentin 600 mg/ Risperidone and gabapentin 600 mg

Gabapentin 1200 mg  around feb 2014 to  june 2014/ Gabapentin 900 mg july 2014 to December 2014

Invega 6 mg dec 2014 (for 8 days) / Gabapentin 600 mg

Invega 6 mg April 2015 / Gabapentin 900 mg

Invega 3 mg May 2015 / Gabapentin 600 mg

Since May 25th Gabapentin 600 mg

July 24 Gabapentin 400 mg August 18 Gabapentin 300 mg

Currently taking Invega 6 mg and Venlafaxine 150 mg. 2018

2019. I took invega 3 mg for two months. I stop taking medication two days ago (11/13) I am doing ok.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.

 
 
 
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  • Administrator

Welcome, PJ.

 

While cold turkey is a high-risk way to come off psychiatric drugs, it sounds like you've worked hard to overcome withdrawal syndrome and are on your way to healing.

 

For the relaxation and sleep issues, you might want to try fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

and read Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Poetjester, your story gives me hope. I have been on seroquel for a relatively long time, so it is great to hear that you were able to come off of an atypical after 15 years... although not without suffering unfortunately, but I am glad you are feeling better!!!

Date 11/1/2000? 20 mg Paxil

12/1/2007? 0 mg Paxil

9/1/2008? 10 mg paxil 250 mg depakote 50 mg seroquel

3/28/2015 10 mg paxil 10 mg prozac 250 mg depakote 50 mg seroquel

4/11/2015 5 mg paxil 10 mg prozac 250 mg depakote 50 mg seroquel

4/25/2015 10 mg prozac 250 mg depakote 50 mg seroquel

5/27/2015 10mg prozac 125 mg depakote 50 mg seroquel

6/10/2015 10mg prozac 50 mg seroquel

9/9/2015 10 mg prozac 25 mg seroquel

9/29/2015 10 mg prozac 35 mg seroquel

10/1/2015 10 mg prozac 47 mg seroquel

10/10/2015 10 mg prozac 45 mg seroquel 6/3/2016 6 mg Prozac 25 mg seroquel

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  • 1 month later...

Hello

 

I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean.

I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries.

Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine

 

The Psychiatrist

His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white

He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight.

 

A Reflection On Our Times

So much lust and vanity under the sun

Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.

hi PoetJester. Even though you are suffering at least you are off drugs! I will probably reach the end of my life span and still be tapering off drugs when I die. Im 62. I so wish I could just stop the antipsychotic geodon. I am so angry at the psychiatrist who did this to me. I am but a shell of my former vibrant self. Please hang on and continue to recover.

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I haven't  checked in in a while so I thought I might leave an update.

In the last 6 months I have developed huge bags under my eyes.  I look horrible.  Sometimes I don't even go out to get groceries because my eyes look so hideous. I am often so exhausted with fatigue, that I sometimes sway when I walk and occasionally bump into walls and many a day I walk outside in a daze with my fly down. It's embarrassing and humiliating to be so undone by this illness of withdrawal insomnia, especially when there is a woman, who manages the grocery where I shop, who I have feelings for and who I gave a few short poems of admiration to. It's hard to make much of an impression when i look like a zombie and my conversation skills and personality are dampened and dulled by insomnia's brain fog.

I spent my 44th birthday (Dec 19th) alone (that makes 15 lonely birthdays in a row, the previous 13 on the meds) in my apt. eating a frozen chocolate pie and occasionally crying. Some life.

I have been searching online for any and all advice on how to end my insomnia. This website has a recipe for a Magnesium Sulfate (Epsom salts) and baking soda bath that worked well for a woman going through wd. She got 7 hrs of restful sleep. I tried it out. Big Mistake!! I felt so absolutely drained and exhausted afterwards that I knew there was no way to sleep. I laid down and everything felt really slow and heavy, like I wasn't going to open my eyes again if I fell asleep so I called a cab and took a ride to the ER 7 miles away.


The ER staff didn't treat me well at all. My blood pressure was spiking at 174/94 (Before my two yrs of insomnia from the WD, it was usually around 118/95) which didn't seem to worry them at all. Of course, their advice was merely the usual: to go back on anti-depressants! I have been dragging myself around to doctor appts. all over town on my bike for the last 8 months to see what can be done for my condition and all they end up doing is ignoring my health complaints and offering me the same junk, psych meds. After an hour and a half they sent me home, but I did get a chance to make an appointment to have a Stress test for my heart, an echocardiograph, done on jan. 4th. Between 2 yrs. of insomnia and sleep apnea due to a deviated septum (a severely broken nose from a baseball between the eyes as a teen) and my pack a day smoking habit, I think my poor ticker is wearing out. I have been asking for tests to be done for a while from my general practioners, but it's seems like unless you're at death's door, doctor's won't deign to treat you with any but the most superficial and brief of attention to your troubles and to them, of course, everything can be fixed by going back on the pointless pills. Nothing like being sick and poor in the good ol' USA. I got a few hours of sleep when I got home from the ER and pretty ok sleep the last few days so I am doing so-so, but that bath just sucked everything out of me.


Thought I might share a few of my poems

On Insomnia
It's the time of the season
For the dissolution of reason.

 

This is a poem for those who have had to suffer the confinement and torment/torture of  forced institutionalizations.

It's based on the 1960's pop song "It's My Life" by the British band The Animals.  I reworked a stanza much in the way "Weird" Al Yankovic does his parodies.

 

It's My Life
It's a tough world
         To get a break in
When your rights
         Have been taken away
And the psychiatrist's
        Need to experiment on you
Can't be slaken.

 

 this poem is based on the movie "Forrest Gump"
 

The Sayings of Forrest Dumped
Life is like a jug of rotten leche         (Spanish for "milk")

It leaves a rotten taste in your mouth
And makes you want to retche.        (ie. to retch, throw up)

 

 

Anyways,

Keep hanging in there all my fellow participants in the medication withdrawal madness marathon

 

Derek

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Derek,

 

Just merged your update with your intro thread, as there is only one per member.  It's good to hear from you again...

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Same age as me 44 and had a very very bad time with olanzapine

May 2012 Olanzapine and other anti depressants. Don't know what they were.  Sertraline, Flupentixol, Sodium Valporate, Depixol, Lithium, Piportal, Mirtazapine, Lamotrogine, Venlafaxine, Respirodol ECT x 7. Don't know the dates of any of these medications because I can't remember and I have no idea of the doses either. Am no longer on any meds. Take Cod liver oil, Omega 3, B1, Sepia. Still in rehab under section 3 in the UK.   I have access to my phone and the house phone and email.

 

Symptoms 110bpm, memory loss, severe anhedonia, no motivation, poor sleep, loss of hobbies and interests including music.  Things that have come back are appetite and feeling the cold and my muscles.

 

Nothings gonna hurt me with my eyes shut, I can see through them, I can see through them - Years and Years 2015

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Poet, 

 

I've enjoyed reading your thread, to see your strength in persevering through a truly rough road of medicating, and now intractable insomnia.  Reading your thread made me recall my spellbinding from being on Effexor for 12+ years.

 

You mentioned the head rushes standing up.  Sheez, I have had that throughout the years, too!  I never put it together with the drugs!  I would also have periodic horrible blood sugar issues, where if I didn't eat in the morning I felt nauseous and faint.  Just thought I was "hypoglycemic," but I think now that it was always drug induced.

 

I also think I have some mild version of akathesia.  I have always had trouble standing still.  When I was working as a lab assistant, when we would be standing in the lab being trained on equipment, I always had an uncontrollable urge to move, shifting my weight around contstantly, and I still do that when in that kind of situation.  Also, finger "flicking" as I call it, just an uncontrollable urge to fiddle with my fingers, a flicking motion.  I became a finger picker, peeling cuticles and such, more because i just couldn't be still.  And then the clumsiness, always fumbling things that I am trying to pick up.  So many more things that I just never put together with the drugs, but realize are physical symptoms of being on the drugs long term, not to mention the mental fog!

 

I have several relatives on psych meds, and I am going to approach them with what I've learned through my harrowing protracged withdrawal experience this past year.  I think they have all been spell-bound into believing they just need to be on the drugs for life, sometimes because attempts to come off failed, and in part because there is a belief that there is a genetic propensity for depression and anxiety, that we all inherited an imbalance that can only be corrected by the meds.  They can choose to stay on if they wish and feel happy with their drugs, but they need to know that it is possible to come off and that past attempts were very likely withdrawal, not relapse, that put them back on.

 

Thanks for sharing your story!  I hope things get easier for you.  I'm sorry that insomnia seems to be the one withdrawal symptom that has plagued you.  I am glad that you didn't have to deal with the mind-shattering anxiety and depression, though!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi Derek. I am thankful for your update. I read your original posts over and over again. I have had to stop taking the antipsychotic drug geodon at 40 mgs. I am experiencing withdrawal insomnia also. I still have to withdraw from clonazepam. It's going to be rough for me also. Please keep posting updates. I gain strength from your courage. How did you manage the panic and fear when you first stopped the drugs? I am okay during the day but when night comes I get terrible fear and panic and then I try to sleep. I wake up with fear and panic all during the night. I'm sure your sleep will come back. I really enjoy your poetry. Take care. And please continue to update maybe more often if you possibly can.

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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  • 6 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Poet, I just heard the story of how you lost your cat of 6 years when you got hospitalized.  I really feel for you, and understand the hole left by losing a companion like that.  Sometimes these companions are more important, emotionally, than the people in our lives.  Mainly because they are pure.  You always know where you stand with a cat or a dog.

 

I hate to stand on formalities, but I'm making another request for you to try and put in your signature, even if it is just this past year.  In finding this post about your cat (on CatNapt's thread) I looked at your signature to see how you were going, and it just wasn't there.

 

So please?  Please Put Your WIthdrawal History Into your Signature

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 6 months later...

Hello PoetJester, I tried to PM you and was unable to. Is your box full? Thanks.

in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello PoetJester,

 

I was around the forums reading your posts and apreciate them specially those mentioning people who sucessfully reinstated. You posted some in my introduction post. But then i wondered, are you still in protracted widhtdrawal? Didnt you try to reinstate to a small dose zoloft? Or did you developed intolerance to all SSRIS?

Started zoloft 25 mg on October 2009. Started tapering May 2016 to june 2016, last week at 12,5 mg and quitCrashed 23 january 2017, severe headache and panic (never had this panic all my life) next morning.Tried to reinstate with prozac 5 mg a day on 25 January 2016, bad choice, got arrhytmias and stopped. Started propranolol 40 mg as needed on january23 - 28 Feb 2017 Tried zoloft reinstatement at 1mg didnt work, more akathisia and head pressure.

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  • 4 months later...

Hi PoetJester, have just been reading your thread.  How are you doing now?  I wondered the same thing as Sertralinsomnia whether you had to reinstate a tiny dose, or are still coping okay without doing that.  I don't manage insomnia well so think its amazing that you survived the withdrawal process, suffering so many ill effects.  Hope you are okay.    

History:- 1993: - prescribed Prozac - soon started having momentary episodes of psychosis - 1994: psychotic breakdown  - prescribed high doses of antipsychotics including Depixol, Chlorpromazine (with procyclidine to control pacing) and later prescribed olanzapine, haloperidol, risperidone with different antidepressants (relapsed or crashed each time I tried to reduce or withdraw from meds).  Can't recall all combinations of drugs have been on.   2007: amisulpride 400mg & venlafaxine 75mg    2013: Got down to 150mg amisulpride, but hospitalised with v.bad psychosis after dropping to this dose and coerced into taking 600mg (always hit problems when dropping below 200mg)  2014: reduced and then problematic symptoms of psychosis, mid-Dec - back up to 200mg,

Feb 2015 had reduced to 180.5mg crashed badly and suddenly and hospitalised : prescribed 300mg amisulpride, 10 mg aripripazole, 50 mg sertraline.  Gradually reduced to 60.75mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify only by Dec 2016.  shortly after 30/1/17 two days paranoia, held and stabilised.  made 2.5% reductions in amisulpride to get to 50mg amisulpride plus 10mg abilify.  Held for long period of time to let CNS stabilise as unable to tolerate any more reductions (from Aug 2017)   April 2018 40mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify.

 

Current Meds: 17.6mg amisulpride, 10mg abilify plus 2000mg metformin for type II diabetes

 

 

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32 minutes ago, whitelily said:

Hi PoetJester, have just been reading your thread.  How are you doing now?  I wondered the same thing as Sertralinsomnia whether you had to reinstate a tiny dose, or are still coping okay without doing that.  I don't manage insomnia well so think its amazing that you survived the withdrawal process, suffering so many ill effects.  Hope you are okay.    

Hi Whitelily,

 

Thanks for your concern.  I actually have tried reinstating small doses of meds the past few months even 3 1/2 years into wd.  I really wasn't sure what else to do as my sleep continued to get progressively worse.  I was down to getting 2-3 hours most nights and even if I got more sleep, it was of a fragmented and depressed quality.  the dreams continued to be vivid and nightmarish and I would wake up exhausted.  I felt about ready to collapse on many days from the poor sleep and often just had to sit on the computer for the day because I didn't have the energy to do anything else.   What rare naps I got would put me in a depressive funk.  I kept drinking coffee (and smoking) throughout wd and wonder if that may have been why my sleep and body never healed.  I haven't tried a whole lot-  restoril (temazepam) for a week where I would get 6 hours of sleep a night and be able to do things the next day, but later started feeling a bit depressed, trazadone-  wasn't terribly effective as a sleep aid and I developed upper body weakness after a few days and so stopped that as well and remeron/ Seroquel which gave me 7 1/2 hours of sleep and energy the next morning, but that I had to pay for with fatigue later in the evening and also with diminished perception of colors: my visual field, particularly blues and greens began to dim.  I feel like I am in the damned if I don't try something for sleep, damned if i do boat.

 

Poetjester 

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Hi PoetJester, thanks for writing back - it must have been so frustrating to be experiencing the situation you're in with the meds.  Actually after I read what you'd written I scrolled back and noticed that JanCarol has written asking for a withdrawal history to go in your signature - not sure if you've seen this (I know how easy it is to miss things or get exhausted looking online when you're tired)?  There doesn't appear to be a record of what doses you are taking now and how long for?.  (just ignore if I've missed this)

 

I imagine that you've got a fair number of coping strategies for trying to rest - I know that when I've been exhausted and unable to sleep, just resting and stretching and  'wallowing' in the niceness of laying down for a time has been important to me, or taking breaks from the screen and listening to relaxing or classical music gently on in the background. even if its just for a relatively short time.  Also, having foot baths (with Mg salts can be good), and putting on scented hand cream etc because its relaxing.

 

Hope that you are able to update staff very soon with your doses etc and that things will improve soon too.  

 

Take care,

 

whitelily     

History:- 1993: - prescribed Prozac - soon started having momentary episodes of psychosis - 1994: psychotic breakdown  - prescribed high doses of antipsychotics including Depixol, Chlorpromazine (with procyclidine to control pacing) and later prescribed olanzapine, haloperidol, risperidone with different antidepressants (relapsed or crashed each time I tried to reduce or withdraw from meds).  Can't recall all combinations of drugs have been on.   2007: amisulpride 400mg & venlafaxine 75mg    2013: Got down to 150mg amisulpride, but hospitalised with v.bad psychosis after dropping to this dose and coerced into taking 600mg (always hit problems when dropping below 200mg)  2014: reduced and then problematic symptoms of psychosis, mid-Dec - back up to 200mg,

Feb 2015 had reduced to 180.5mg crashed badly and suddenly and hospitalised : prescribed 300mg amisulpride, 10 mg aripripazole, 50 mg sertraline.  Gradually reduced to 60.75mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify only by Dec 2016.  shortly after 30/1/17 two days paranoia, held and stabilised.  made 2.5% reductions in amisulpride to get to 50mg amisulpride plus 10mg abilify.  Held for long period of time to let CNS stabilise as unable to tolerate any more reductions (from Aug 2017)   April 2018 40mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify.

 

Current Meds: 17.6mg amisulpride, 10mg abilify plus 2000mg metformin for type II diabetes

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 7/12/2017 at 5:23 PM, PoetJester said:

I kept drinking coffee (and smoking) throughout wd and wonder if that may have been why my sleep and body never healed.  I haven't tried a whole lot-  restoril (temazepam) for a week where I would get 6 hours of sleep a night and be able to do things the next day, but later started feeling a bit depressed, trazadone-  wasn't terribly effective as a sleep aid and I developed upper body weakness after a few days and so stopped that as well and remeron/ Seroquel which gave me 7 1/2 hours of sleep and energy the next morning, but that I had to pay for with fatigue later in the evening and also with diminished perception of colors: my visual field, particularly blues and greens began to dim.  I feel like I am in the damned if I don't try something for sleep, damned if i do boat.

 

 

PoetJester,

 

You have been adding and subtracting drugs since you've been on SA. Until you learn some non-drug coping skills and give your nervous system time to heal from the drugs, you are prolonging your misery. Many (if not most) of us go through months and sometimes years with significant issues with sleep. But continuing to add and subtract drugs and your periodic use of alcohol are all culminating in a profoundly damaged nervous system. See this thread on limbic kindling: 

 

Limbic Kindling -- Hardwiring the brain for hypersensitivity

 

Here are some threads with information on how to handle insomnia during withdrawal without drugs or alcohol:

 

Tips to help sleep so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Beyond Meds - Help for insomnia

 

Non-drug coping techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

I would recommend using mindfulness and acceptance listed in that last link as ways of coping during the insomnia phase. Since you write poetry, you may also enjoy the Journaling techniques. 

 

Videos to help with insomnia:

 

 

Guided Meditation for Detachment From Over-Thinking (Anxiety / OCD / Depression) - video 42 minutes

 

Jon Kabat-Zinn: Body Scan - video 29 minutes

 

And you'll find many other videos on YouTube that can help you relax and sleep.

 

Until you stop reaching for the chemical fix, your nervous system is going to continue to be on high alert, making sleep very difficult. 

 

PJ, I don't know anyone who was successful coming off long-term polydrug use who didn't have to really work hard on the non-drug coping techniques. If you've been used to using drugs and alcohol as a means to self-soothe and quiet your mind, you have to learn an alternative way. And it's brutal during withdrawal. But I do think if you give the non-drug coping techniques a try, you'll find that it not only will teach you what you need to know to handle life off drugs after you heal, these techniques are very helpful to get you through your current state. And you'll stop trying drug after drug and give your fragile nervous system the time it needs to recover so you can get on with your life. 

 

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On 2017-07-16 at 2:33 PM, PoetJester said:

Hi Pil54

 

yeah, I have tried a few different medications for sleep the past few months.  I didn't really have much success with any of them.  I tried restoril (temazepam), ambien and trazadone for a few days each.  the restoril gave me 6- 6 1/2 hours of sleep a night and i was able to do things the next day, but after a week of taking it, i noticed i was becoming depressed.  i think that's a common side effect with benzos.   the trazadone gave me some sleep at first but began to lose it's effectiveness and started causing upper body weakness so I stopped it.  with ambien I had a similar experience.  it worked ok for a couple days then began to lose it's effectiveness and gave me upper body weakness (it felt like it was affecting my heart) also caused next day nausea in the evening.  I also tried remeron and Seroquel for about a week.  I could get deep sleep for 7 hours and felt energized in the morning, but by the evening I would become completely fatigued, where I barely had the strength to get off my computer chair.  the combination also started giving me vision problems, as well.  i think it was mostly the remeron.  Colors, particularly blues and greens, seem much less vivid and i was having a hard time reading my laptop, too, after just a couple days of the drug. i may try a low dose of something, probably an ssri, soon and see if i can build up like articjessy did, otherwise i don't know what to do anymore. i am growing pretty tired of living the incapacitated life. 

 

my sleep, if i don't take anything, is 4-5 hours of fragmented and shallow dreaming. often only 2-3 hours,   with vivid nightmares most nights.  My rare naps leave me usually feeling worse afterwards.    My dreams are so entirely different now, too.  they are depressed dreams where i am getting into fights or being murdered or stuff like that.   Also, they are often in buildings and people are much closer and more real then my dreams used to be.  i don't wander in my dreams either.  they are strange and two dimensional.  like portions of my sub conscious no longer work and everything is life-like and depressing.   these short shallow sleeps are also causing my stomach to not function properly.  i am in a cycle of constant bloating and constipation now and am nauseous quite often.  i no longer know when i am hungry, but just eat when it has been a while.  the poor sleep is also causing fatigue issues as well.   

 

poetjester  

 

Dear Poetjester

I am afraid for you.

I am afraid your symptoms are deteriorating day by day.

 

I wanted to suggest you to take 5 m.g of olanzapine.5 m.g is very low dose and will give you 8 hours sleep and will protect you from disturbing dreams.

 

When you get good night's sleep,your days will be normal without any trouble.

Edited by scallywag
added quote for context; moved post to Poet Jester's topic

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
4 minutes ago, rupa said:

I wanted to suggest you to take 5 m.g of olanzapine.5 m.g is very low dose and will give you 8 hours sleep and will protect you from disturbing dreams.

 

 

Hi, Rupa.

 

We don't suggest adding in drugs to help with symptoms. There are no drugs known to help with psychiatric drug withdrawal. Sometimes a small reinstatement may help, but this is best done within a few months of coming off a psych drug.

 

 

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Thank you and sorry Shep.

Me and poetjester are experiencing same sleep problems with nightmares.

I thought what is helping me would help him.

I am afraid he is dealing with an abyss of problems.

He was cold turkeyed olanzapine.

Reinstating small dose of olanzapine may relieve him as his health problems are increasing due to lack of sleep.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 minutes ago, rupa said:

He was cold turkeyed olanzapine.

Reinstating small dose of olanzapine may relieve him as his health problems are increasing due to lack of sleep.

 

PJ is more than 3 years off, so reinstating is risky at this point. 

 

 

 

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I see,now I know.Thank you.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Administrator

PoetJester, have you tried darkening your bedroom with blackout curtains, going to bed on a regular schedule, and a little melatonin at night? See

 

This could help your sleep a little to start, get your body going in repairing your sleep. Like everything else, improvement would be gradual.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi PoetJester, 

 

I just wanted to drop you a line to apologise for going on about updating your drug doses previously!   Very sorry, it was me that wasn't up to date that you had been off them for so long and I just mentioned it cos I was concerned for you.  I tried to pm you but it wouldn't send.

 

Also I'm trying to get used to using a new mobile and think I was missing info.

 

I hope you are doing okay. 

 

Take care  

 

whitelily

 

 

 

History:- 1993: - prescribed Prozac - soon started having momentary episodes of psychosis - 1994: psychotic breakdown  - prescribed high doses of antipsychotics including Depixol, Chlorpromazine (with procyclidine to control pacing) and later prescribed olanzapine, haloperidol, risperidone with different antidepressants (relapsed or crashed each time I tried to reduce or withdraw from meds).  Can't recall all combinations of drugs have been on.   2007: amisulpride 400mg & venlafaxine 75mg    2013: Got down to 150mg amisulpride, but hospitalised with v.bad psychosis after dropping to this dose and coerced into taking 600mg (always hit problems when dropping below 200mg)  2014: reduced and then problematic symptoms of psychosis, mid-Dec - back up to 200mg,

Feb 2015 had reduced to 180.5mg crashed badly and suddenly and hospitalised : prescribed 300mg amisulpride, 10 mg aripripazole, 50 mg sertraline.  Gradually reduced to 60.75mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify only by Dec 2016.  shortly after 30/1/17 two days paranoia, held and stabilised.  made 2.5% reductions in amisulpride to get to 50mg amisulpride plus 10mg abilify.  Held for long period of time to let CNS stabilise as unable to tolerate any more reductions (from Aug 2017)   April 2018 40mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify.

 

Current Meds: 17.6mg amisulpride, 10mg abilify plus 2000mg metformin for type II diabetes

 

 

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h

3 minutes ago, whitelily said:

Hi PoetJester, 

 

I just wanted to drop you a line to apologise for going on about updating your drug doses previously!   Very sorry, it was me that wasn't up to date that you had been off them for so long and I just mentioned it cos I was concerned for you.  I tried to pm you but it wouldn't send.

 

Also I'm trying to get used to using a new mobile and think I was missing info.

 

I hope you are doing okay. 

 

Take care  

 

whitelily

 

 

 

Hi whitelily

 

i just got up from a nap.  I haven't gotten around to updating the few times I have tried meds for sleep the past 3+ years.  Basically i only tried meds for sleep 6 or 7 separate nights in 2015 and then off and on in the past few months.  either I am exhausted most days or else everything over here feels like a desperate race against time to get my health back on track so updating my signature kind of gets put off while I do online searches to see what might help my situation.

 

sorry, about the messenger thing.  the memory is full on it.  I have 50 messages on there from other users on the site and I don't like to throw any out.  I like to have some memory of the contact I have had with others on the site.  I am constantly going through them trying to figure out messages I can possibly delete so that I can have room on there, like pruning a bush, I guess.  one more difficulty in wd- not much memory on personal messenger.

 

I know we had talked a little about wormwood before.  my digestion problems have gotten worse lately.   I developed sudden onset alcohol intolerance where I vomit profusely from just one beer or drink and feel close to death. ( i don't know if i mentioned it in the other post.  i was going to check, but what i am typing  has a way of vanishing if i leave the page i am on.  ugh. )   it has happened on a couple of occasions recently where I have two pints of beer, come home, lay down for an hour and then wake with barely enough time to get to the kitchen sink to vomit.  It feels like I had drunk a case of beer instead of just two, I feel so ill.  I looked online and it actually happens to lots of people.  it appears to be linked to SIBO where bacteria overgrowth causes alcohol to no longer get  broken down or metabolized in the gut but goes straight into the liver causing one to be violently ill.   I read a couple posts on medhelp where people talked about being treated for SIBO with antibiotics (probably rifaximin or diflucan) and the problem of being sick from only one drink clearing up.  I talked to my gp's but they won't even write a prescription for anything.  I had asked one of the gp's I see regularly, and she said she wouldn't write me script without a diagnosis and when I mentioned to her that the clinic I go through doesn't even test for SIBO (a breath test) so there was no way to be diagnosed so that I could get a prescription for an antibiotic,  she failed to see the catch 22 of the whole situation.   she denied my request for a prescription even though plenty of people use these types of drugs.  John Hopkins Medical Center has portions of there website devoted to SIBO and it's treatment, but my clinic has gotten around to treating SIBO yet.  colonscopies and Metamucil are the order of the day over here and colonscopies don't really diagnose bacterial overgrowth.   the most help I have received so far was from a nurse I talked to on the phone, who said to just stay away from beer.   thanks.  i ended up ordering some triphala and herbal treatments for the SIBO online, but i live on Social Security and $70 in pills is quite a stretch.  why the hospitals can't make it easier on me.  i don't know.

 

how are things going with you? 

 

poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Hi Poetjester,  

 

Sorry to hear about your predicament - i havent heard of SIBO before but wouldnt it help to eat foods which are a good source of probiotics?  My sister swears by raw sauerkraut which she makes and used to eat a little daily to help her digestive system.  But if you're not keen on that there's natural yogurt, kefir, or miso soup and some other things I think.   Perhaps the good bacteria would crowd out the bad.

 

I'm okay thanks.  Just still taking things slowly - making very gradual reductions.

 

Hope you find something that works  soon ..... I think I might have had something similar at some stage and I don't know that it's advisable but I remember having diet coke which helped a bit, but after that I took some probiotics in a tablet.

 

Take care, 

whitelily

History:- 1993: - prescribed Prozac - soon started having momentary episodes of psychosis - 1994: psychotic breakdown  - prescribed high doses of antipsychotics including Depixol, Chlorpromazine (with procyclidine to control pacing) and later prescribed olanzapine, haloperidol, risperidone with different antidepressants (relapsed or crashed each time I tried to reduce or withdraw from meds).  Can't recall all combinations of drugs have been on.   2007: amisulpride 400mg & venlafaxine 75mg    2013: Got down to 150mg amisulpride, but hospitalised with v.bad psychosis after dropping to this dose and coerced into taking 600mg (always hit problems when dropping below 200mg)  2014: reduced and then problematic symptoms of psychosis, mid-Dec - back up to 200mg,

Feb 2015 had reduced to 180.5mg crashed badly and suddenly and hospitalised : prescribed 300mg amisulpride, 10 mg aripripazole, 50 mg sertraline.  Gradually reduced to 60.75mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify only by Dec 2016.  shortly after 30/1/17 two days paranoia, held and stabilised.  made 2.5% reductions in amisulpride to get to 50mg amisulpride plus 10mg abilify.  Held for long period of time to let CNS stabilise as unable to tolerate any more reductions (from Aug 2017)   April 2018 40mg amisulpride and 10mg abilify.

 

Current Meds: 17.6mg amisulpride, 10mg abilify plus 2000mg metformin for type II diabetes

 

 

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Dear Poet jester,

To eradicate SIBO,

You please try to eat ajowan seeds,coriander seeds,cumin seeds ,each one,1 spoon full, morning and evening for 1 week .

Then you see the results.

It works for any stomach related problems guaranteely.

Best wishes.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 1 month later...
On 2017-07-19 at 9:38 AM, PoetJester said:

Hi Steve

 

I quit Zoloft and zyprexa back in early 2014.  Originally, I had the lightheadedness (it felt like I had the flu) where every time I turned my head to look at something, it took a second or two for my vision to catch up.  It went away after about 2 months for me, but I also had insomnia and poor sleep quality which has stayed with me these 3+ years and has basically ruined my health.  I also have the "not with it"  feeling upon waking.  it's frequently referred to as "dead head" where it feels like nothing is going on inside.   I think it may have something to do with poor sleep, but since your sleep sounds ok, I don't really know.  I still have it and it's worse after 3 years.  I have had a few days in wd where I wake with some energy and alertness , but for the most part I stumble out of bed totally out of it and barely coherent. It can carry on into the day, as well, where I just find myself staring off into space for extended periods of time, not really sure what I am thinking about.  it's actually a pretty common side effect of wd if you go around reading the posts of others on this site.

 

Poetjester (Derek)

Hello poetjester, what do you do for sleep.  I can not get any!  1 hr is a good night!  Had to reinstate effexor after 3 months and am terrified it won't work. It has been 4 days now at 5 mgs.  After reading your story I am wondering if just stopping this before it gets too deep again is something to consider.  Have never been this indecisive in my life!

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 11:25 AM, rupa said:

Dear Poet jester,

To eradicate SIBO,

You please try to eat ajowan seeds,coriander seeds,cumin seeds ,each one,1 spoon full, morning and evening for 1 week .

Then you see the results.

It works for any stomach related problems guaranteely.

Best wishes.

Rupa,

 

Thank you for the advice.  I actually sometimes take coriander seeds soaked in water because I occasionally have very painful burning stools, to the point where I am moaning and screaming in the bathroom.  It seems that certain foods and even triphala (a laxative) cause my stool to burn.  the coriander seeds have helped keep the poop from being too acidic and painful.    I tried the herbal pills for SIBO that I bought online, but had little success.  i took one brand for 4 weeks, twice a day, but when i went to the bar last week and had two beers to see if they had been effective in treating my SIBO,  i ended up vomiting in the parking lot of my apt complex when i got home.  i tried a different brand of herbal pill and ended up flushing and becoming very hot in the face and my stomach started burning so i stopped taking them.  i'll try the cumin and coriander and ajowan and see how that goes.   How have you been lately?  are you still sleeping ok? 

 

poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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