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PoetJester: among the living again after 15 yrs of Zoloft and Zyprexa


PoetJester

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5 hours ago, Usha said:

@Zippy If you know someone who can help so many people in this forum suffering from sleeping issues, you should tell it in the forum itself. I even messaged you privately and you agreed to tell me the further instructions for better sleep and den you left the conversation. If you have something den speak up. Me and so many people can be benefitted from your advice.if you don't have anything to tell den don't post such fake messages from your end in order to provide comfort to the people here .🙏🙏🙏

This only reason I didn’t reply is because I was working and away from home but you continued to send me another rude message because I hadn’t responded within 24 hours

so why should I respond to you?

 

of course I want to help people but I also deserve to be treated with respect and can’t reply to anyone immediately as I have a busy life 

I’ll make a post of the sleep information when I return home and have my laptop after the severe weather conditions we are currently stuck in here 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

  @Usha @Zippy

 

Please be polite.

 

Please take this discussion to Usha's Introduction topic here:

 

usha-dreaming-whole-night

 

5 hours ago, Usha said:

@Zippy If you know someone who can help so many people in this forum suffering from sleeping issues, you should tell it in the forum itself. I even messaged you privately and you agreed to tell me the further instructions for better sleep and den you left the conversation. If you have something den speak up. Me and so many people can be benefitted from your advice.if you don't have anything to tell den don't post such fake messages from your end in order to provide comfort to the people here .🙏🙏🙏

 

30 minutes ago, Zippy said:

This only reason I didn’t reply is because I was working and away from home but you continued to send me another rude message because I hadn’t responded within 24 hours

so why should I respond to you?

 

of course I want to help people but I also deserve to be treated with respect and can’t reply to anyone immediately as I have a busy life 

I’ll make a post of the sleep information when I return home and have my laptop after the severe weather conditions we are currently stuck in here 

 

5 hours ago, Usha said:

@Zippy If you know someone who can help so many people in this forum suffering from sleeping issues, you should tell it in the forum itself. I even messaged you privately and you agreed to tell me the further instructions for better sleep and den you left the conversation. If you have something den speak up. Me and so many people can be benefitted from your advice.if you don't have anything to tell den don't post such fake messages from your end in order to provide comfort to the people here .🙏🙏🙏

 

Edited by ChessieCat

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 1 month later...

I always come back to this thread, I share a lot of similarities to your story.

 

Hope you are doing well, would be so great to hear from you again.

May 2017-citalopram 20mg, olanzapine 15mg

January 2020-august 2022 multiple failed taper and switch attempts

August 22nd 10mg citalopram, 10mg olanzapine

Previous suppliments: pain reliever pm 2017-2022

Current suppliments: melatonin 5mg tablet

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi stevenb How ars you. you can ping me personally.

March 2013 -April 2013 citalopram 5 mg/Clonazepam 0.5 mg/ Beta blockers

April 2013- June 2013 I was not taking any meds, feeling worst

June 2013 -Dec 2013 Fluxetine 20 mg

Dec 2013 Feb 2014 i was not taking meds

Feb 2014 - Jan 2016 - on and off the paroxitine 12.5 as I was not aware these were harmful drugs

As I left the drugs 3 year back so I don't remeber the exact date but tried to recall it as a best match

Jan2016- till now not taking any drugs

Syntoms- Quality sleep, brain feel tired but improving If I compare from past years

 

 

 

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for me i left meds 4 years ago but still whenever i wake up i found my mind is on thinking state fr which i have no control. anyone with similar exp? i know it got better but still sumtimes is it really a withdrawable effect??

March 2013 -April 2013 citalopram 5 mg/Clonazepam 0.5 mg/ Beta blockers

April 2013- June 2013 I was not taking any meds, feeling worst

June 2013 -Dec 2013 Fluxetine 20 mg

Dec 2013 Feb 2014 i was not taking meds

Feb 2014 - Jan 2016 - on and off the paroxitine 12.5 as I was not aware these were harmful drugs

As I left the drugs 3 year back so I don't remeber the exact date but tried to recall it as a best match

Jan2016- till now not taking any drugs

Syntoms- Quality sleep, brain feel tired but improving If I compare from past years

 

 

 

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  • 11 months later...

@PoetJester

Thank you for your generosity sharing your story, your poetry, and helping so many other members here. You are a special, valued member of this community. 

It sounds like you have been through so much in your life. I'm impressed with your strength and perseverance -- how far you've come! 

How are you feeling these days? 

It would be great to read your update if you feel like posting. 

Kindest wishes,

A.

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

@Ariel

 

Hi Ariel,

 

I'm alive.  I had a car intentionally try to hit me last summer as i was in a crosswalk near my apartment complex walking up to a nearby convenience store.  It was a four-way stop with an on-ramp to a major highway, and i had gotten to the intersection and there were no cars, so began crossing, and as I'm about eight feet into the intersection,  i see a big black blur in my periphery, and had to leap out of the way of a guy in a black hatchback who came up the same road i had just walked up, who went through the stop sign and turned into me for fun. After leaping into the air to avoid being hit, i turned and tried to kick the car, after it missed me by probably three inches, and missed, but saw a guy with dark hair in his mid 50's with a grin on his face, tearing down the frontage road that runs parallel to the highway. 

 

A couple of weeks later, i was six miles away at a city park that surrounds a public golf course where i go and pick balls every two weeks or so (I've been biking out to golf courses for about six years now hunting balls that i resell online) and as i was biking back from spending a few hours looking for balls, i came across about a dozen teenagers on mountain bikes pulled over to the side of the path, near where one of the off-trail paths crosses the paved path, when i heard one of the kids say to the others "hey, should i just punch this guy?' as i approached the group on bike. 

 

I see you live in the EU.   Not really fun times in the US presently.  Around the same time that the car tried to hit me in the intersection, one of our U-15 youth baseball coaches was shot and killed in a road rage incident at the next exit down of the highway i was crossing (the convenience store is on the other side of an overpass from my apartment complex), about a mile north of where i was nearly hit, as he was driving home from a baseball game with his teenage son.

 

Poetjester (Derek)

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Hi @PoetJester

Thanks for logging on, it's good to hear from you. 

How are you feeling in your body? 

Are you currently taking any medications, psych drug or otherwise? 

No pressure to reply. 

Kind thoughts,

A.

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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  • 4 months later...

PJ, I've read a number of your posts over the years and wondered how you are doing.  Reading over your thread here, I can relate to your sleep deprivation situations. I have a knack for finding somewhere to live that ends up being a wall of noise.  I just lost an entire summer to construction noise, and it's not the first summer I have lost to noise either.  I hope you are finding peace and quiet wherever you are, and lots of rest.   

 

Wishing you well, UnfoldingSky

 

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/11/2022 at 2:40 AM, UnfoldingSky said:

PJ, I've read a number of your posts over the years and wondered how you are doing.  Reading over your thread here, I can relate to your sleep deprivation situations. I have a knack for finding somewhere to live that ends up being a wall of noise.  I just lost an entire summer to construction noise, and it's not the first summer I have lost to noise either.  I hope you are finding peace and quiet wherever you are, and lots of rest.   

 

Wishing you well, UnfoldingSky

 

Hi UnfoldingSky,

 

thanks for the message.  Makes me feel not quite forgotten, which isn't always the case over here.  My emails/pm's on facebook to high school friends and family, both immediate and intermediate, mostly go unanswered these days which is sort of a strange one and pretty disheartening.  It's funny you mentioned the construction noise thing, since for the past few weeks we've had roofers re-roofing the apartment complex i live in.  I live on the top floor, so have been waking up to people walking across my ceiling, circular saws, and shovels grating on my ceiling.  For a couple days earlier this week, my apartment was shaking incredibly, once during a day of 3 hours of sleep, where i was hoping to lay around the apartment licking my wounds.   I lived through a small earthquake in San Francisco in 1992, that didn't shake my apartment as much, or at least for as long, anyways.  Plus, the entire apartment complex grounds smells like tar now, so that's pleasant.  The roofers have moved to another part of the building now, so at least i have that relief.

 

Poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Hey PJ, it's good to see you here.  Sounds like a bit of a nightmare where you are to be honest.  The roofing being worse than an earthquake I could appreciate I've been through one as well where I am and the construction we had this last summer was infinitely worse than that. Shaking the entire place, there wasn't even a choice we would have to leave while it went on.  Even with hearing protectors on the noise was still a massive problem.  Worst thing was we were told it would only be a few weeks but this went on for the entire summer.  I hope the roofers are done now and that finally at long last you get peace and tranquility.  Bad enough to have to listen to stuff like this but it's brutal on top of being harmed by pills.  

 

I feel for you about friends and family not checking in too have had those sorts of experiences too since being harmed by pills.  Very disconcerting to say the least.   I wish people were more supportive.  At any rate you are not forgotten here.   US

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi, @PoetJester

 

I have read in some other topic that You've had a bleeding peptid ulcer in the past, I think that I may have also developed this and am waiting for a diagnosis.

 

Please tell me what have You done with this, did You have any interventions made at a hospital and if so how they went.

 

Thanks in advance!

V.

Duloxetine 2016/17 - 30/60mg/30mg, c/t, light WD.

Sertraline June 2019 50mg ADR

Clorazepate June 2019 20-15-10mg for 3 weeks then sparsely until 2022, 2 times per month max and very low dose (5mg)

Clorazepate Jan2022 10mg 5 days 2,5mg 2 days then off

Venlafaxine June 2019 75mg ADR, 17,5mg, titrated to 37,5mg

Venlafaxine Jan 2022 Covid, hard ADR on 37,5mg, reduced to 20mg ADR, tried ct, crash,

Venlafaxine 22Jan22 reinstated 9,4mg, too low/ 01Feb22- 12mg/ 12Feb- 11,25mg/ 16Feb- 11mg/ 20Feb- 10,8mg/ 24Feb22-10,575mg/ 16Mar22- 10,46mg/ 26Mar22- 10,35mg/ 26Apr22- 10mg/ 01Oct- 9,9mg/ 13Nov- 9,7mg

01Jan24-7,5mg

MAR24

Due to another sudden intolerance had to fast taper venlafaxine to 1,14mg 

Seems like all of this time I was in benzo withdrawal, because when I took it now in desperation to help it made me feel worse, tried reinstatement first 1mg, then 0,05mg both made me feel worse.

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  • 1 month later...

Life in hell:

Back in early 2014 when i quit zoloft and zyprexa cold turkey and watched my sleep go to hell, I began going out to parks on the lake next to my apartment complex and doing a couple hours of volunteer park clean-up several times a week or else sometimes in the woods next to our apartment complex's lower parking lot, grabbing all the beer and liquor bottles, water bottles, and food wrappers there, just as a way of staying out of my apartment, which felt more like a death trap than a living space with the sleep issues.

 

I had more energy quitting the drugs, but then at the same time with my sleep ruined, I kept having this scenario running through my head as i would go for walks on the walking/biking path next to the lake near my apartment, where my life felt like some sad, After-School television special, about a poor guy who wandered the town, dying of sleep deprivation, who the town residents felt sorry for, but couldn't do anything for.

 

Obviously, the state and the field of psychiatry had something to do with my deteriorating health at an early age, and later I would discover how little many of my family, friends and apartment neighbors actually cared about medication withdrawal issues, or else were intentionally antagonistic towards me even after i explained what i was going through, but whatever, just an impression i had on my walks the first two years or so of withdrawal for me. Anyways, during 2015, i had found this Chinese fortune cookie sticker on our apartment front walkway as i was finishing up picking up trash one day and kept it, since it's fortune, with the Chinese symbol for "deng" which means "to wait" in English, seemed pretty apt for a life on hold due to failing health.

 

I kept a lot of souvenirs from my trash clean-up's at the parks- a child's Sponge Bob toy, a small Santa Claus tree ornament, a larger Matt Kensworth #17 racing car that had just been sitting in a busy intersection that could have caused trouble for a motorcyclist or bicyclist, a group of three Alcoholics Anonymous Unity tokens (24 hours, 5 months and 7 months) that i found one day in a ditch, I'm guessing from someone who gave up being sober and had chucked them out the window of their car probably on their way to a liquor store, a small Norwegian flag, etc. and became a junk collector of sorts, since it was something to do and since i wasn't really sleeping anywhere near good enough for a regular job, let alone many days, to take care of basic living skills or basic chores around my apartment. In late 2015, i began biking out to local golf courses and picking golf balls, as it was a new adventure for me, taking me to different places than the few parks on the two lakes near my apartment, and also since it paid a little money, as well, compared to the junk collecting. Anyhow, I still have the "deng" or "to wait" fortune sticker, and I'm still waiting, what for, I don't even know at this point, but i am.

IMG_3065.JPG

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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Life in hell:

 

Eight months ago, a new neighbor moved in across the hall from me in this apartment complex- Gabriel, who is about 35 years old, black, divorced, and looks like he probably played football at some point with a pretty muscular build, with a young, 6 year old daughter, and who i had spoken with previously on a couple occasions once about how my own parents had broken their word with me about helping me move from this place 10 years ago, and then once about daylight savings time being phased out.  Then suddenly in November, he began surreptitiously saying things in the direction of my apartment door as he would enter his own apartment, sometimes with his young daughter- "That Derek is a deadbeat" and then once "I could really Boogaard it with that guy" a reference to the former NHL hockey player, Derek Boogaard, who played for the Minnesota Wild (the NHL team for state I live in) and who had overdosed on alcohol and oxycodone in 2011.   At first it was a wth? moment with the "deadbeat" comment, and then felt totally wicked when he had made a play on my own first name, Derek, referencing Derek Boogaard.  I had just woken up from my sleep on the couch when i heard the Boogaard reference, and it felt so evil in my apartment, that i got on my bike and biked in 15 F temperatures, two miles to the supermarket, just to be away from my apartment.   Anyways, about a week or two later after obliquely suggesting i do myself in, i heard Gabriel in the hallway late one night, saying at my door "You're only a white man, and a peaceful end for you i cannot portend" where it was like psycho Shakespeare hour, and his voice sounded like that of an emotionally troubled 15 year old, and where also, I'm pretty sure he was drinking. It felt like ,Two-Face, from the old Batman comics had moved in across the hall, since we had gone from being on friendly terms, although i hardly knew him, to where he was obliquely making terroristic threats through my apartment door as he would enter his own apartment............ I spent four years (2015-2019) receiving anonymous hate mail either slipped under my apartment door or unaddressed to my mailbox from a 65 year old, white alcoholic neighbor, living directly below me in this complex (pictured below), about getting a job, even though i was working, biking out to golf courses and picking golf balls several times a week that i would resell online, and who used to crank his surround sound television at inordinate levels late at night (8pm-1am), where my apartment living room resembled a movie theater balcony for a year, while i was barely sleeping in 2014-2015, and when he finally moved out, in comes black alcoholic neighbor giving me sociopathic grief (i would say, ****, if it wasn't censored). A week or so later i heard Gabriel speaking in the hallway with one of my neighbors who lives down the hall, saying "I think this is the most hungover I've ever been" which was somewhat gratifying to hear. Later on, he did the same talking through my door thing, saying "you're still hung up on that Boogaard thing?" where apparently he likes to play wicked head games, besides giving himself brutal hangovers, since i hadn't spoken to him in the month or so after he began saying things through my door.  There was an old sitcom on Fox, called Everybody Hates Chris, starring Chris Rock, but that story has nothing on mine and there should probably be a remake called Everybody Hates Derek. I mean, besides constant grief from neighbors, i get the same treatment from family, old friends, strangers in the street (i had a guy try to teach his two year old son that i was a "dog" at a public beach in 2017) or in 2021 a guy in a hatchback/suv intentionally trying to run me down in a crosswalk with his car, doctors, the police, etc. etc. etc.   I ran into Gabriel in the hallway about a couple of weeks back, one evening, as i was coming back from the convenience store two blocks away after picking up some groceries and he was coming in from somewhere. As i was unlocking my apartment door, i looked and he was coming down the few steps from the elevator landing to the hallway towards his apartment door and was wearing plaid, pajama bottoms, besides a winter coat and hoodie and stocking cap, and had an opened, six pack box of seasonal canned beer in one hand. He had asked "how's it going?" and i said "I'm ok" and then, just on a whim, I asked him "So, what does your New Year portend?" Gabriel rolled his eyes for a second and then said "it's the one year anniversary of my father's death. not my favorite time of the year" although he looked in a pretty festive mood, happy to be drinking. 🙄

IMG_3069.JPG

IMG_3070.JPG

Edited by Altostrata
reduced font size

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi PoetJester,

So the notes you posted are from a previous harassment?

Ooof, I sure hope so.

And hope there is someone, anyone that you could go to when you are being harassed by a neighbor.  No one should have to tolerate that.

I am so sorry to read of the harassments.

 

I don't feel that the color of your neighbor or ethnicity has anything to do with anything. 

Just so you know, we don't tolerate any - Racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, or other hate speech.

 

How are you doing, post drugs, at this point in time?

Any symptoms of note?

 

You've been off all drugs now since February of 2014?

You're coming up on a anniversary of types then soon.  Congrats!

 

And best.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited by manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/21/2023 at 7:35 PM, manymoretodays said:

Hi PoetJester,

So the notes you posted are from a previous harassment?

Ooof, I sure hope so.

And hope there is someone, anyone that you could go to when you are being harassed by a neighbor.  No one should have to tolerate that.

I am so sorry to read of the harassments.

 

I don't feel that the color of your neighbor or ethnicity has anything to do with anything. 

Just so you know, we don't tolerate any - Racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, or other hate speech.

 

How are you doing, post drugs, at this point in time?

Any symptoms of note?

 

You've been off all drugs now since February of 2014?

You're coming up on a anniversary of types then soon.  Congrats!

 

And best.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Hi manymoretodays,

 

Yeah, the notes are from the previous harassment, although what I'm dealing with now isn't a lot of fun either.  It's possible that the color of my new neighbor doesn't have "anything to do with anything" although he seems to be targeting me solely on my race, so I'm not sure what you mean. 

 

It's like saying that giving the description of someone making terroristic threats is the crime, not the terroristic threats themselves, and i sort of feel like I'm being victimized twice in not being able to describe the person making terroristic threats through my door.  Feel sort of handcuffed, in a way, i guess.   I mean, when he says "You're only a white man and peaceful end for you i cannot portend", i'm guessing race has something to do with something, at least in this case.  

 

No, there's not really anyone i can report the current harassment to, as it kind of is hard to prove what someone has said through my door on a few occasions and also i'd rather not escalate the situation, with someone who obviously has issues and whose apartment front door is about eight feet from mine. 

 

About the previous harassment, my apartment manager actually covered for the guy for a year while my apartment was shaking from his surround sound television, telling me it was a "young deaf girl who lived with her father, who needed her tv loud to hear it" when it was a twice divorced 65 year old getting loaded every night and cranking his television, and were just fine with the guy terrorizing me, until he started going after the apartment manager, and then she kicked the guy out in late 2019.   I was still receiving anonymous letters in the mail from the guy four months after he moved out, so i ended up filing a police report, sending the police text pics of all the letters i had received from the guy over the years.  

 

Poetjester

 

(ps. Here's a couple other letters i had received from the one alcoholic over the years.  The guy's last name was, Christian, ironically enough.  The first letter showed up one day in 2015.  I had just gotten done picking golf balls for three hours at a country club that was closed for the season, about 30 miles away from my apartment complex, and had missed the bus coming coming back, so had to bike 30 miles home with about 180 golf balls in my backpack and was pretty much dead on my feet when i walked in my apartment and saw the letter on my entryway floor. 

 

The second letter in red marker was actually taped to my apartment door and a similar note in red marker was taped to another resident's door (an older Greek lady in her mid 60's) one day in early 2019.  My alcoholic neighbor's crusade was basically going after anyone who lived on subsidized rent or received food stamps.).  he had also sent me emails about having "my brains fried with ECT".  

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Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

PJ, if I were you, I'd tell this person to leave you alone. He has a lot of personality problems.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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  • 2 weeks later...

Poet, your apartment building sounds like a nightmare. You have my sympathy. 

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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On 2/12/2023 at 2:19 AM, UnfoldingSky said:

Poet, your apartment building sounds like a nightmare. You have my sympathy. 

Yeah, UnfoldingSky, some days it feels like living in an actual nightmare in this apartment complex.  🙄.  Like a low-budget version of The Shining.   Besides the alcoholics and grief they like to give, i had a senile next-door neighbor, for several years.  Knocked on my door once, one evening in 2017, without pants or underwear on, trying to hand me a cell phone to take a call from his lady friend who wanted to know if i wanted any of her mother's cat's seven kittens.  It was while i was eating.   

 

I would speak with him often (Glen, he was only 65, and has since passed away earlier last year, after three years in a nursing home) in our apartment hallway, since he was constantly knocking on my door trying to get me to do favors for him, since he had palsy of some sort and mobility issues (I kept calling social services to try to get him some help, but they wouldn't do anything), and when a guy has cuts all over his bald head from falling in the apartment parking lot frequently, wears shirts with holes the size of beach balls in them that his belly would hang out of, and then sometimes can't remember to put his pants on, and is going on about how now that he's receiving Social Security, he "can make up to $1700/mo at a job " or would wake me from much needed naps to tell me how "Iranians are responsible for most of the major airliner crashes in recorded history",  it sort of makes life feel unreal in a way, about like a living nightmare at least, when talking to the demented.  Not that violent alcoholics are any better, but still, it's strange talking to the senile, where life takes on an unreality in a way.      

 

Poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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  • 11 months later...

Hey @PoetJester

Are you getting any better?

How's your sleep? Do you get sleepy at all? do you still have vivid dreams?

I hope you are doing better...

Lexapro 10-20mg 2016-2018 2 full years cold turkey no withdrawals, Lexapro 10-20mg 01/2021-08/2022 cold turkey missed doses, alternated between high and low doses, no withdrawals

1/7-1/14/2023 Ciprofloxacin for 1 week 500mgx2 in January 2023, resulted in headaches that went away in 2 months

3/21-3/35/2023 Oxybutinin for 4 days 

3/21-3/30/2023 Ofloxacin 400*9 days in March, gave me insomnia

3/23-3/25/2023 Passiflora+Valerian Capsule for 2 nights, doesn't work.

3/26-3/29/2023 Unisom (Doxylamine) for three nights, it would work on the second night but would not do anything on the 3rd.
03/29-05/10/2023 Mirtazapine 7.5mg/15mgs depending on the night this also would work for 3 nights, I would switch to Unisom every 4th night. Took for a total of 15-20 times in 42 nights.

5/11/2023 Atarax(hydroxine) only once but spiked my tinnitus and gives me DP/DR in the morning, after this I could fall a sleep on my own with no meds. Later on Unisom also spikes my tinnitus. 

06/01/2023 Brain Zaps start, I get back to alternating mirtazapine,passiflora, melatonin,  for 40+ more days. Symptoms got worse.

06/15/2023 Trazodone 50MGs once. Did nothing.

3/2023 - 9/2023 NAC, Alpha lipoic Acid, Magnesium, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Calcium. Once or twice I took 5HTP and L-theanine. Took Fish Oil Omega-3 for 1-2 months.

11/8/2023 250mgs of Keppra ONCE.

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  • 1 month later...

Hello @PoetJester I have always resonated with how you have described getting off zyprexa...and I think I am in the same situation as what you have been through...I am still unable to sleep 5 years down the track...and like you i am unable to work due to not sleeping...I find myself just walking and picking up rubbish...off the beaches, off the national parks...football ovals....I do not do it for money or to collect...I do it just because I need to be doing something...and I can no longer do anything more constructive.....I hope as your quite a few years ahead of me in withdrawal...,can you give me any hope that with time I will one day sleep for more than an hour...please respond and let me know....that is all I ask.... thankyou I wish you all the best Morgana 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to Oct 2017 stopped cold turkey

Only on Zyprexa from now on :   10mg solid form 1998 to Oct 2017

7.5mg solid form  Oct 2017 to Oct 2019 5mg solid form  Oct 2019 to Apr 2020

3.75mg solid form Apr 2020 to May 2020 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to Feb 2021 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd Apr 2021 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd Apr to 26th Jun 2021

 2.5mg dissolved in 25mls of water from 27th Jun 2021 to 22nd Oct 2021 2.5mg 1/2 solid, 1/2 dissolved in 10mls of water from 23rd Oct 21 to 7th Feb 2022 water titrating from 7th Feb 2022 to 13 Aug 2022:  2.2425mg

 

 

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