myrith84 my journey on medication (introduction)

[myrith84]

Hello everyone, 

 

Recently i found this forum, looking if there were other people that are experiencing the same things with medication and mental illness.  And what i have read so far is sometimes very shocking at one side, and very comforting on the other.  

 

Now where shall i let my tale begin...

 

I've always bin an anxious person, somehow not seeing the world as most people do, experiencing things on a whole different level, that is often very confusing and scary.  Had a good childhood, less good teenager years where i guess the stress really kicked in.  People said i was always smiling, and always happy, and nothing could break my mood.  i kept myself strong until 2010, where my private doctor subscribed me nortrilen because i was very blue and down.  This anti depressant made me feel awful.  After two weeks i stopped it because i became a walking zombie.  i was more better off it than on that. But it was the very first time i came in contact with that kind of medication.  

 

Now i'll fast forward to july 2011 where i had a massive outbreak of ocd. Was admitted to the hospital, where they overdosed me on Envega.  Received adrenaline cause it made me lose muscle control and spastic.  Anxiety was going through the roof, and after a week i begged to be transferred to a more specialized hospital.  

The first weeks there they put me on Seroxat, which again made me feel like a zombie, i was emotionless, lost all my personality and got totally dissociated with myself.  Doctor wouldn't listen to me when i told her this, so i stopped it on my own.  Where she was very mad at me.  But eventually things calmed down, and she started giving me zyprexa.  After six weeks my mind calmed down for the first time.  Still zombie but the awful obsessive thinking was a bit more gone at least.  Until i noticed i gained 15kg in 3 weeks (from 57kg to 72kg.  but of course it didn't take long for the ocd and anxiety to come back.  So i resisted to take it any longer, and passed weeks and months taking alprazolam when things got too worse.  Not getting anywhere she tried another one: this time Abilify.  This was the most dangerous of them all.  Even driving the car became a very dangerous thing.  Couldn't perform well on my job, and each ride to and from work was one big anxiety trip.  Stopped with this one too.  we're already 2013 on this moment.  We gave it another try, this time with amisulpride.  Didn't do anything at all.  So at the beginning of 2014 i was admitted to the hospital again.  Had to take Anafranil, very much against my will, it helped with the ocd (finally) but it made me feel so very much depressed.  A week before my leave from the hospital, i begged my doctor again to not let me go, or bad things could happen, the medication was doing bad things in my mind.  So she let me stay another week, where i got seroquel next to the anafranil, and staurodorm to sleep.  Things went very well after 3 years, but as most things, it couldn't last.  The seroquel let me gain massive weight again on a very short time, and it was very bad for my heart, and my cholesterol was 4 times the allowed measure. so we did a direct stop on the seroquel, but continuing on the anafranil.  

 

Now we are today,  and for the past months i take anafranil combined with staurodorm.  

- if i don't take the staurodorm my mind gets suicidal.

- if i don't take the anafranil, the anxiety kicks back in. 

 

So not much options left...   Thinking about stopping the anafranil 

 

thanks for reading my story.  Hope you could follow it a bit.

 

cheers.

 

f

[tgirl]

Welcome Myrith,

 

 

Glad you found us! Can you please take a minute to complete your signature.

One of the mods should be coming along shortly to help you.

Feel free to look around the site. There is a wealth of information!

 

Good luck to you,

Tgirl

[Nomoreheadmeds]

Welcome 'myrith84'

I wish you well

[Altostrata]

Welcome, myrith.

 

This is a site for going off drugs. We can't tell you how to compose an effective drug cocktail.

 

Do you have any questions about going off drugs?

[myrith84]

Thank you. Updated the signature

 

Welcome Myrith,

Glad you found us! Can you please take a minute to complete your signature.

One of the mods should be coming along shortly to help you.

Feel free to look around the site. There is a wealth of information!

Good luck to you,

Tgirl

[myrith84]

 

Welcome, myrith.

 

This is a site for going off drugs. We can't tell you how to compose an effective drug cocktail.

 

Do you have any questions about going off drugs?

Yes, a lot. I want to get off that stuff but not sure if there is a way back and have a normal life. Think the meds are the cause of many issues

[Altostrata]

Going on and off multiple drugs can stress the nervous system and cause symptoms such as anxiety and sleeplessness. These can be symptoms of withdrawal syndrome, too. It's possible to have withdrawal syndrome even though you are on other drugs.

 

Now we are today,  and for the past months i take anafranil combined with staurodorm.  

- if i don't take the staurodorm my mind gets suicidal.

- if i don't take the anafranil, the anxiety kicks back in.

 

 

It seems to me that your nervous system needs to settle down from all your drug changes. Do you have adverse reactions from any of the drugs you're taking?

 

Please put ALL the drugs you take in the Drug Interactions Checker http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html and copy and paste the results in this topic.