DazWah Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hey Guys/Girls, I have been on ADs for the last 5-6 years, with the last 4 year being on 20mg Paxil. Although the meds help me get through some tough times, The last month I have had a wake up call that I am now so emotionally numb that it was beginning to affect my marriage and family life. I was spending lots of money for that quick fix of a temporary emotion/feeling, it was almost like a hunger that never ends. I was happy to eat, go to work, come home, go to bed. Everything else felt like a chore (seeing family, spending time with wife to name a few) So, Two weeks ago I dropped from 20mg Paxil down to 10mg. Wow what a wake up call that was! Although I guess I was slightly more emotional than I used to be. I felt emotions! Although I am tired, feeling nausea, slight anxiety, loss of appetite, hard to sleep. I found solace in doing the things I felt like chores only a few weeks ago, gardening, cleaning, even watching TV! I am hoping that I feel much better in a couple of weeks. When I dropped doses on Effexor all I felt was a bit grumpy and flu like symptoms. This time the drop felt like when I stopped Effexor completely! Anger, zaps, aches and pains emotions etc. The hardest thing to cope with is the insomnia! loss of appetite is making me feel a bit week. So, Every few nights I take a Temazepam to help with the sleep and I generally feel much better the next day or two which is helping me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think i will stay on 10mg for a while until my body recovers enough. Has lower dose of Paxil helped with people to regain motivation to live life? My doctors advice was to switch up to another med, I am not sure what to do, I dont want the next med to end up the same emotional distant apathetic person. Although I was "content" once coming down I can see that eventually it would be a recipe for disaster and would like to avoid that trap again! Would love to hear others experiences on similar situations. April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
DazWah Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 PS; probably need to provide some background. Went on Effexor after breaking down (age 23), moved house, early work starts (up by 4:30am), long drive to work, inconsistent night shifts, etc Ended up isolating myself and smoking weed to relief my issues(i know this was not a good idea but I think it was hard for me to open up to anyone about the way i was feeling etc), eventually this crashed and caused me to hate the person I had become depression and anxiety hit the roof, so much so I would lose 10kg in a week. Doctor put me on Effexor, after 4-5 months I started changing up my schedule, began dating my now wife. Life was good, I could cope easy with the issues with work etc keeping a balanced lifestyle I ended up tapering off Effexor over a 4-6 month period, as I felt I was getting to carefree with my attitude. I was AD free for around 5-6 months (everything in life was manageable) when suddenly my partners father died of a stroke (he was 50 Feb 2011) this shook up everything for my partner, everyone around me was constantly sad, work became inconsistent and I was constantly forced to take time off. After a few months my Dr put me on Paxil (20mg), I was actually surprised how quick the Paxil acted as I started to feel better after 3-4 weeks of use. The medication helped me to help my partner get through a lot of bad times. Now its been 4 + years and things are now better with work, now married, own house (close to work < 20mins drive). No more shift work or early starts. Although now the meds are working too well and having a hard time to decide on what to do next. April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
tgirl Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hello Daz, Welcome to S/A, glad you found us! A mod should be on soon to help you. In the meantime could you take a minute and complete the signature portion? Feel free to browse the site. There is a lot off great info! Also, check out Brass Monkeys thread. Very inspiring Paxil withdrawl story. Best wishes, Tgirl April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
Nomoreheadmeds Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Welcome 'dazwah' I wish you well Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently 5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 11, 2015 Administrator Share Posted October 11, 2015 Welcome, Daz. Have your symptoms gotten better or worse over the last 2 weeks? Paxil is a very difficult drug to go off, and a 50% cut is a large decrease. You might want to hold at 10mg for a good while to let your nervous system adapt. See Why taper by 10% of my dosage? What is withdrawal syndrome? The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine) All psychiatric drugs often cause emotional anesthesia, that's their job. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 12, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2015 Welcome Daz, Thank you for joining and sharing your story, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here, getting off these drugs can be tricky for some people, but with the information here, you will be able to retain some control of your life while you safely taper off. Please read the links Alto posted, they contain just about everything you need to know about safe tapering and withdrawal. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. Petunia. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
DazWah Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 I am feeling a bit better today, I had a temazepam last night which gave me 4-5 hours sleep, will take another tonight and then hold of a day or two. I have been thinking about a lot lately, about past periods of when I was ever in extended periods of distress. I found so many triggers or reasons why than it has given me so much confidence to push through and eventually stop Paxil. I will definitely be tapering off much slower next time. Withdrawals whether from quitting cigarettes, coffee, marijuana etc have always pushed me to my worst place. The worst was when I was most likely depressed and hypochondriac from shift work and moved house to a more rural location, away from friends, too much change for a person that had relative normality, I made the mistake that and self medicated with marijuana which became a daily habit, at first that worked but soon made me more depressed and after 9 months of use I quit cold turkey. Dr put me on Effexor after that, as I was a wreck at the time. I know that the exhaustion from lack of sleep, on top of a fragile brain in the process of repair that it is never going to be an easy road. Funny thing with the drop was that for the first 10 days it was only mild discomfort. Light head, tingly, and a little agitation. One night it was a bit warm and I had no option to sleep elsewhere, caused me to freak out. Now its the more the "recovery" from breaking the mind from telling you that you are going to go nuts unless you give it what it needs. Right now I am having trouble sleeping as I keep monitoring myself to ensure that i fall asleep, which in turn keeps me up (silly I know). I know if at least get a few hours sleep that I will be alright and able to cope the next day. I have removed everything that can be stressful so I am quite optimistic. Last time from effexor i went from 150mg to 75mg (2mnths) to 37.5mg (2mnths) to completely off. I will stay here for a little while and let my body heal, then drop 1 mg every few months until I get to the point that the drop will cause withdrawals then I will stop all together. Would rather not prolong the usage if possible. April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 12, 2015 Administrator Share Posted October 12, 2015 Nobody wants to prolong the usage. Please let us know how you're doing. In the meantime, Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
DazWah Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 So last night, although sleep was difficult. I got to a stage where I just kept counting and it something distracted me, I began again. All of a sudden I was counting and my eyes shut really hard down, began to see like these morphing shapes although no colour of different shades of black, almost felt like i was on a ride or a trance like state. I felt a sense of warmth and calmness, I could hear everything going on around me, cars going down the street, heart beat, my breathing, my wife sleeping next to me, i could also think clearly. I thought i must be asleep, after a while i remember dreaming and woke up as my arm went numb. Im going to try this again tonight. April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 13, 2015 Administrator Share Posted October 13, 2015 Very impressed by your technique. Please share it in Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have withdrawal insomnia This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
DazWah Posted October 14, 2015 Author Share Posted October 14, 2015 I will I feel confident this will work I think that our anxious brains, although sometimes hard to concentrate we can use that to our advantage. The feeling was so extraordinary, almost like my anxious thinking is located in my lower part of brain and I can feel this area, feels sometimes like a water fall. Once the anxiety turned into focus (felt like the area called the minds eye?) the waterfall felt like only a drip. Really excited to try this again tonight! April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
DazWah Posted November 10, 2015 Author Share Posted November 10, 2015 Just an update, nearly 1 month since last post. Had 3 really good weeks, couple of crappy days where I left too many things build up but hey as others have said it only gets easier. I am confident that the dosage I am on is not really having any effect on me and that its not going to be any worse once i am fully off. I have started meditation in the mornings for the past few days and seems to help, definitely going to stick with it and possibly enroll in a few classes. Keep strong everyone, take it one day at a time. April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
DazWah Posted July 26, 2016 Author Share Posted July 26, 2016 Hello Guys/Gals, Its been a while since an update but I have been completely off the medication since Xmas day. There have been times when it hasn't been so easy, many times when I want to give up but there is always something in the background telling me that its only temporary and low and behold soon enough it passes, even for a day, a week, two weeks the only thing I know for sure is that change is inevitable (this also goes for the easier times). For the past few months, I have been constantly drawn towards a spiritual path rather than just only finding a way to peace, its more also wanting to understand the truth. This path is pointing my search inwards (its like an addiction) and its helping in many ways, but it also brings up many things that i need to learn to deal with rather than run away from, so its inevitable that its going to appear that its unstable because its the nature of everything which is change. In many ways what I have learnt so far is that although the falls hurt and are not nice to deal with that they are where the real progress occurs, even if its a very small difference of perspective I can always see how it occurs and most of the time its usually due to; not wanting what is or wanting what is not (if that makes sense). I can only believe with time it will become much easier, or I will learn to be able to let go much easier. May you all be at peace. Talk soon. April 2011 - 20 mg Paxil October 2015 - 10 mg Paxil - This was a 50% cut, now on the start of my 3rd week - pretty rough but the last few years of Apathy is enough motivation to keep strong. January 2016 - If 10 mg is stable, the plan would be to drop down to 9 mg. Link to comment
nz11 Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 Stay strong Dazwah. Thanks for taking the time to update. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
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