Polly1974 Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 Hello again Ali I'm in south Wales xx Hello tryintohavehope Thanks so much for your kind reply I'm most grateful Thank you both for caring Polly Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
AliG Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Hi Polly , I have been in W/D for 18 months. I had my anniversary 6 days ago. I see for you it's been 14 months.. All I can say is " hang in there ". Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 Thanks so much Ali, you are very kind xx Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
nz11 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Hello everyone Is anyone finding the withdrawal process is dredging up everything bad from the past? Every fear, bad experience, trauma etc all being magnified to epic proportions. Maybe similar to a Post Traumatic Disorder. Thanks so much Polly yes me i can totally relate to this it was a war against myself that went on for several years ..daily... Alto talks about it here : http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9809-neuro-emotions/?p=1525 For quite a while in withdrawal, neuro-emotion led me to memories where I embarrassed myself, made a fool or myself, or was rejected. I couldn't shake them, I was reliving them intensely over and over. The feeling of shame and worthlessness was awful. I had to make a determined effort, which wasn't always successful, to distract myself from these memories. I kept reminding myself to forgive myself for my mistakes. Then reliving these memories went away. I'm not having this problem anymore (I hope). I presume that some area of my brain was being stimulated by dysregulated neuro-hormones, and now it's recovered. and also post 12 Yes, it made me realize how much shame has shaped my inner life and feelings about myself. I agree, these intense feelings triggered by neuro-emotion might illuminate what always was there, the most hidden vulnerability, the deepest fear. A person has to be very strong to cope with this and not get overwhelmed. .............................. Basically when the brain has run out of historical crap to crucify you with ..it shuts up and stops the nonsense. In the mean time the game plan is to survive it . Eventually patience wins the war. hang in there Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 Thanks so much nz11 That's really helpful, thank you for replying and giving me some hope. Hope your doing OK Polly xx Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hello everyone I'm at the end of my rope and could use some reassurance if anyone is kind enough. This withdrawal has magnified my original obsession/ fear way out of proportion. The thoughts are much more convincing than they ever were before starting medication. The fear is intolerable, bigger, harder and more widespread. Can I hold onto the hope that this will settle down to at least pre Benzo levels when my brain heals from this?? Is anyone else experiencing a similar thing with their pre existing issues? Thanks to anyone kind enough to give me some reassurance today Polly Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 3, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hey Polly, These meds have a way of making everything worse. It is not you - it's the drugs. You are still there, and as your brain and CNS heal the side-effects will lessen. It is hard though, when you are waiting through a wave. So yes, hold on to that hope that others have healed and you will too. Personally, I found that meds caused me to have unprecedented (for me) levels of depression and panic-attacks. I'd struggled with depression and anxiety in my life pre-meds, but never to these levels. I've been tapering for about 6 months now, and gradually it has got better. In fact, these last few weeks I've been feeling really happy. Just to encourage you with what can lie ahead... You could always re-read the neuro-emotions thread too - lots of experiences there. Best wishes, KarenB 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
KT38 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Hi! The trying different meds and then coming off sounds like me. I think all this really really upset our nervous system as I am just about into month 9 off and in the worst H3ll still (see my signature). I also wonder if the benzo/SSRI mix and coming off them both did something messed up. Can you tell me how your akathisia is? Is it that you have to walk/pace or is it the internal torment? Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 4, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 4, 2015 You might have meant to reply to Fresh? 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Thanks so much Polly Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted December 10, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 10, 2015 How are you going, Polly? Did you find anything that helps you? Are you able to walk, even if it's just 10-20 minutes a day? Have you tried: Some people find that EFT is helpful: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/841-eft-emotional-freedom-techniques/ Or maybe you could listen to this: Baylissa Frederick, Relaxing, Healing Meditation I'd love to hear how your are managing your symptoms. I hope you see the sun today! "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 Hi Jan Thanks so much for asking about me I really appreciate it. No better unfortunately, I do walk to the top of the garden a few times a day but that's all I can manage for now. Thanks for all the links I'll definitely look into them. What's worrying more than anything Jan is the severity of the original problem ( reason for prescribing) it is so bad compared to what I was dealing with pre drugs. The OCD fearful thoughts are more powerful, convincing, more widespread and fear is stronger. It's so difficult to manage, I worry I'm the only one experiencing such a magnification of old problems. Thanks for listening Jan and I'm sorry if I rambled on. Hope your coping OK yourself in all this. Thanks for caring Polly Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
Hopefull Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 Hi Polly, My anxiety /OCD has been worse since Zoloft /Mitrazapine. I can relate to your concerns. Some symptoms have improved but not completely gone. With time, your symptoms should improve. Don't loose hope. My anxiety was a picknic prior to meds. Keep pushing forward. Best wishes, Hopefull. DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 Thanks so much hopefull I really appreciate your kind reply. Glad to hear things have improved for you, that gives me some hope. Polly Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 12, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 12, 2015 Likewise - my 'original condition' of depression got sky-rocketed by Effexor. And I'd only ever had minor anxiety prior, but with Effexor I got the new improved super-panic-attacks - they last longer and you feel it more! I can say though, that over the last 6 months of tapering both have improved. I have also been working in a very focused way to manage them, and to change my whole head/heart space into a more positive place. I'm searching out healing like never before... and I quite like it. You can find your way into any space you are looking for. Hugs to you Polly, KarenB 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted December 15, 2015 Author Share Posted December 15, 2015 Thanks so much Karen I really appreciate your kind words Polly Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted December 15, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 15, 2015 Hi Polly, i just did a fast dash through your thread. I think there have been tons of responses reassuring you that you are not the only one who has had their OCD return in a Chernoble-style fashion! I don't know if it will help, because when you are in this neuro-emotion hell sometimes peoples' advice just doesn't seem to penetrate, but I have found the teachings of Eckhart Tolle to be profoundly helpful. I've been bringing Eckhart up so much laterly, everyone's going to think "there she goes again!" There's tons of clips of him on youtube. Here's one from Oprah's Super Soul Sunday: It is really all about the thoughts, and the grip that they have on us. If all you can do right now is notice, be conscious of, when you start having the thoughts that lead to OCD acts, then that is a step in the right direction. I hope this gives you a bit of peace :-) SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Polly1974 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 Thanks so much SG, I'm most grateful for the video to watch. So sorry about that, I seem to need more and more people to keep me hopeful. This would not be me normally at all. I'm really grateful to you and everyone for their patience Polly xx Prescribed Lorazepam for OCD/ fear for 6 years. Reached tolerance at 9mg Per day. Was taken off using only 30 mg Valium over 6 months. Didn't realise about withdrawal and was prescribed 7 anti depressants (8 week trial on each), 3 antipsychotics and then a reinstatement of 30 mg Valium Per day. Been drug free for 14 months but believe i am in severe withdrawal from stopping and starting all these medications. Link to comment
KT38 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Polly 1974, what is your akathisia like? Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now