ThoughtTree: Staying positive - Six months off Lexapro

[ThoughtTree]

I know my taper is done and there isn't really much anyone can offer, but at nearly 16 months off, I need some support or encouragement, please. 

 

Physical symptoms have been changing and increasing. I have had some luck with deep breathing to just get through until it passes, but if I had health anxiety before, it has severely ramped up. I dont know when to just float through it and when I need help.

 

There have been no changes in my life, or diet that I could think would bring this on. I've been trying to stay social and go out daily. I find my eyes tolerate being outside better as well, I cannot spend too much time looking at a screen at all. Unfortunately my body cannot handle being outside. I feel faint very quickly. I need to sit a lot.

 

Lately I feel like my throat is closing or I cant swallow, regularly with a strange taste. Theres a tingly sensation all over my mouth when this happens.

Vision changes and eye pain, as well as headaches have increased. 

Parts of my hands and arms (sometimes thighs) feel like they are going numb, yet its painful?
I've gone from getting some sleep to now waking constantly with either chest / shoulder pain. If its not that, I feel like my body is too exhausted to breath and I have to force it. I constantly wake from it on nights when this happens.
I've had internal vibrations before, but that was way back last year, now they are back but a lot more intense and I feel so dizzy and sick from it that I need to close my eyes or I will faint.

I struggle to stand for just a few minutes without feeling bad.  Normal chores have me feeling like I'm pushing myself to the extreme.

 

How do I manage these things? I dont know how to deal with it all anymore.

 

I take magnesium regularly. I take fish oil occasionally, I recently stopped because i thought i had a reaction to it. I take relatively high doses of Vit C daily. Thats it for supplements. I recently tried an epsom salt bath. That left me very shaky and feeling unwell.

I believe that we need to stay positive on this journey, but this has been a long way and I'm getting scared.

 

 

I've been reading your postings. I am sorry that you have been struggling so much, I wanted to recommend acupuncture. It is way more gentle than chiropractic and it works wonderfully on stress and anxiety. This is based on my experience so I'm not sure if it will work for you. The days I have acupuncture I can deal with stress in my life a lot better.  Best wishes to you 

 

Thank you for the recommendation on the acupuncture, gn11. I must admit there aren't too many options in my area and once had a bad experience from it. It may be worth trying again though. At the moment I'm so scared that I need to try something.

[nz11]

Hi Thoughtree

sorry to read of your discouragement.

If it helps any i too was in a bad way at 16 months off. In fact it has taken several years to stabilise.

Please dont give up hope. Time is the best healer. It is outrageous that people can have serious brain injuries and within a year they are up and away again yet we have been injured in a way that takes years to recover from.

Healy says 2-4 yrs to recover once drug free.

 

Check out the Claire weeks thread.

At a prior place one member had a great saying ' feel like crap and carry on anyway' That pretty well sums it up.

Like you i was given an ad and didnt even know it was an ad.

 

Hang in there.

nz11

[ThoughtTree]

Thank you nz11!

[ThoughtTree]

I was wondering if someone has some experience with the following: 

 

I have a burning sensation only on the left side of my chest. It comes and goes. It goes up to my shoulder and down my arm sometimes. It burns generally, but sometimes it feels like a spasm. Other times its a stabbing sensation. 

I have started taking taurine (started with 250mg) a week ago as well because I notice my heart rate would be low, then high - all while resting/not moving. It happens when standing too.

 

I cannot stand for long periods of time or my chest starts to feel really heavy.  It has only gotten worse, not better over the last few months, especially the burning and aching. It used to happen occasionally, now it stays for hours and even wakes me at night or every second night.

Has anyone experience this in withdrawal or know what could cause this? I have gone from feeling improvement to now barely being about to move much. 

[LexAnger]

I have the burning, pins and needles, poking pain all these years tapering. Tried very hard to find out the cause but with no conclusion. It seems more a side effects for me, but you are off the poison so I can't be the same. When I googling pins and needles or parathion, it says an indication of brain damage. Very true sadly, but I read ppl who recovered, they eventually disappear.

 

It can happen to anywhere of the body. Mine is allover, head, face, neck, shoulder and back of the middle of my upper body. They seem not causing physical damage though.

 

I agree with you, all the symptoms are hard to be detected by the current availed technique and eventually we would end up with self care and endurance waiting for time to heal.

 

Sorry for not being able to help with any solution for some relief. Giving that no meds to play with anymore, I feel mindfulness to have a full acceptance of the situation and confidence in the healing ability of the brain, along with belief in that none of these weird symptoms would cause any real physical problems will help the healing process without extra stress worrying.

 

I know it's so very hard when you are suffering and these symptoms are so uncomfortable and frightening. I found reading others success stories helps a lot at this stage.

[LexAnger]

Oh, one other thing important I forgot to say, that you are very close to the starting point of true recovery. It says 2-4 years after cold turkey, but as you tapered for 2+ yrs, you are definitely around the corner.

[LexAnger]

Hi thougtTree,

How are you doing lately?

[ThoughtTree]

Hi Lex,

 

I apologize I have not responded sooner. I had attempted to leave all this behind and look forward. Easier said than done. I am two years off. Dropped off at 0.19mg, after being 'stable' for 3-4 months. 

 

It hasnt been an easy couple of months, but they seemed manageable. Lately new symptoms have joined the party and its hard to function. 

Its hard not to feel like a real disappointment to my family.  

 

I live far away from any decent medical care, so even though the symptoms are scary, I dont have anything I can do about it anyway. Im just trying to stay positive.

I thought i was doing all the right things; CBT, meditation, positive affirmations, gentle exercise when possible. Now many times I am overwhelmed in my body and i phsically cannot move. My nervous system seems to be even more sensitive than it was. I dont know what changed.

 

Im sorry you are still having such a hard time. Wish there was a way we could get through this without the huge negative affect on our lives. 

[doggiemama]

Hi I'm CT 3 years and it does get better as you know but we get so wrapped up in withdrawal every little thing sets us off . I know it feels like forever but things are getting better . Stay strong you can do it