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Shadowfax: Here for support, and to make a change, let my story out


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Hello I'm Shadowfax,

 Whew, I saw your forum a loooong time ago (well a some months ago). I came here to say hello mainly, but also to offer some encouragement to fellow guys and girls in the world of medicine lol... And to let some know that their situation isn't all that bad, and to sympathise( can't spell) with others and offer what has helped me and what I've learned. I'm not a medical doctor but my experience has inspired me to become a doctor one day if possible. but a naturopathic one. I do not like the approach to medicine that the world is taking and I don't even pop ibeprofine now days. So without furthur ado here is my story in summary. feel free to ask me about it further if you want. I'm open.


I fell into an LSD or other type of psychedelic ( i have no way of varifying it was LSD) induced psychosis ( or some form of the condition) In short it was like a trip that wouldn't fully end. It was very slowly wearing off but the people around me couldn't take it. My family didn't know what was happening. I am 20. I was 19 when this happened. there are more details but I'll leave those for now... Anyway like many I was talked into going to the emergency room and I was kinda baited by my own fear and something I won't mention at this time. I went to a mental hospital after the doctors saw me at the ER. I was never asked "would you like to be locked in a mental ward for 5 days Shadow" lol Anyways I can't finish this post. I have a medical condition that I gotta take care of but stop by and say hello if you would, I would appreciate it if anyone is there. I'll finish the rest of the story soon. Please don't get mad at me for not finishing, I can't write anymore. there's so much to explain :-)

Thanks for your presence,



And faq where do I go to update my drug history on signature?

Hadol injection with cogentin, risperodol, oxcarbazepine, sertraline, olanzapine, All in 6 month period. Currently  off all medicine since feb 4, 2015

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dang I didn't realize how many people there were here. this site has over a dozen posts in one day.


Anyway to continue, scratch my story it's taking too long. the long and short of it is I got out of this ward after being dosed with a haldol injection (worst experience in my life) had an allergic reaction to it and horrible cramps in my jaw and neck, which took months to go away. I immediately had extreme dizziness and headache after the injection.


No doctors even looked for these signs, which of course I am now finally seeking legal advise on that matter..  I could hardly walk, Everyone called me grampa or old man shadow. After 3 months or so I could mostly walk, and the cramping reaction ( which was severely painful if you know what a foot cramp is like you'll have an idea what it would be like to have in your shoulder neck and face) went away or died off and I was left a bumbling mess emotionally. I had acute anxiety for the first time in my life and panic and deppression. I still suffer with these things, but they are much less intense and more controllable especially after getting off meds completely


(fyi if you can let go of medication, of course taper off, but get off of it! and don't seek other medicine as replacement, seek living life as the replacement) I nearly killed myself multiple times due to the emotional turmoil I was experiencing. the deadness inside. The under water feeling. The dull feeling. Yes I know what thos are like. The strange dreams, waking up and not feeling like getting out of bed, or doing anything. incapable of interest. Incapable of connecting with others, losing everything you care about. Yes I know what that is like.


I am happy to tell you I am much much better now than I was then. Anyway in the midst of these feelings I was desperate. I sought after a psychiatrist to fix my problems. hoping desperately that a medication would help. we tried the mood stabilizer, the antideppressant, another (without my knowledge of course, evil women didn't tell me haha) neuroleptic or antipsychotic. on which note I continued to try and describe this "feeling of discomfort to everyone.


My family, the doctors, everyone grew weary of my descriptions or lack of, and started assuming I was making it all up. Which to this day many members of my family think I am making it all up. Anyway about that time january of last year I made a monumental discovery. lol I registered the "feeling in my head" had alot of pain involved. I had thought of course that it was emotional, but much of the discomfort was pain. A massive 24 hour headache, which is severe and debilitating... So of course no one believed me on that either. finally my mom did and we went to the ER and told them id had a headache for 8 months straight lol the lady said "8 months?!?!" i'll never forget that. now I don't know if it had been 8 months or not but I knew it had been there awhile. and it seemed to grow slowwwwwly very slowly, and then the pain grew to my jaw, then my neck and now my back. and I will tell you it hurts very very very very bad. It hurts all day and all night. never is it gone.


I have forgotten what it would be like to not have this pain almost. then I came down with infection, and I struggle to stand many times. anyway, I began going to this natural doctor and I used the energy that I was focusing on researching the drugs id been on, to looking for natural cures to my condition both mental and physical. I have learned some amazing things. I would like to share them. but I will start slow and won't talk about my research this message.


The most recent happening in my life is two weeks ago while I was going in for treatment at the doctor my boss replaced me and now I'm out of a job. and I'll tell you what, I flipped out terribly when that happened. I was afraid he would because he's a busy man and I knew he didn't like dealing with my chemical sensitivities, and my diet. and some days it was hard emotionally. I would get deppresssed on the job, So I see why he replaced me. but I feel pretty worthless now. Like I have no place in the world and no hope to heal without proper funds to at least pay my bills... hmmm that about covers most of it I believe. lol So at this point I need a job and medical help, and I'm on my own. 

Edited by Petunia
added paragraphs breaks for readability

Hadol injection with cogentin, risperodol, oxcarbazepine, sertraline, olanzapine, All in 6 month period. Currently  off all medicine since feb 4, 2015

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Shadowfax.


Very sorry you're going through this. You have an excellent attitude, though.


Acupuncture might help for that headache and other pain. If your jaw is still tense, you might want to use a bite guard to protect your teeth. Also, it helps your jaw relax.


Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, see

The magnesium in particular can help muscles relax.


See our Symptoms and Self-care forum  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/for suggestions about how to cope with symptoms.


See these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome Shadowfax,

Thank you for sharing your story so far, I'm sorry you have been through so much, but its great you are now off the drugs and recovering.


In your first post, you mentioned going into an LSD kind of induced psychosis, but I'm a bit confused, did you actually take something, or were given something?


I remember a while back we had a member who had something put into a drink and this started a whole series of events that ended with him being diagnosed and being put on medication.


Try not to worry, you are going to recover, you are young and have that on your side, it may take a little longer, but you will get better.



I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?

VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?

VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?

VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes




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