☼ ChessieCat: so I'm not the only one (Pristiq / desvenlafaxine)

[ChessieCat]

Been feeling blah over the last few days.  Restarted multi vitamin, iron and B12 on Friday so today will be 4th day.

 

Was wondering yesterday why I didn't feel like doing anything and remembered that I started a new volunteer role a couple of weeks ago and I now work on different days.  I also worked 2 days in a row which I haven't done for a while so I think all of this is contributing.

[ChessieCat]

Reduced to 11mg this morning.

 

Will update my signature when I get on my laptop.  I'm still having issues with the signature screen "shivering".

 

It's time for me to start working out my next compounding requirements.  I like to do this well before the time I need them so that I can double and triple check that I have the calculations correct.  This time I will be getting 0.5mg doses.  How exciting!!!

 

I still find it hard to believe that I won't be off until the 2nd half of 2020, however I am no longer disappointed, just amazed.

[Gridley]

Congratulations!

[wantrelief]

Congratulations, CC.....you are doing such an awesome job with your taper!  I have enjoyed reading about how you are noticing positive changes as you drop down in dose....this is very hopeful and inspiring for those of us not feeling good at the beginning of our tapers.

[Downbutnotout]

Good for you. 

[ChessieCat]

Thanks Gridley, wantrelief and DBNO,

 

I'm still experiencing things which I think can be put down to withdrawal.  I find that I can easily become mildly manic if I get too stimulated or overtired.  But I do think that some of that may be part of my personality, however I suspect that WD may make it worse.  Thankfully I am aware of it and I try to calm myself and self talk when I realise it is happening.  I'm also trying to notice what triggers it.

 

I've been getting sore areas in my arms lately on and off.  Sometimes my wrists feel like I've strained them.  Then they will be okay for a couple of days and then it happens again.  The plantar fascia in my right foot has gone.  My legs muscles don't seem to be tightening as much as they were and it seems like I am starting to be able to lift my feet more when I walk.  The tight muscle on the right hand side of my spine doesn't seem to knot up quite as much as it did but I have been doing stretches for it.

 

Recently I have been getting sciatic twinges which I haven't had for about 1 year.

 

I've recently had a bit of ear pressure as well as tightness in my jaw.  The jaw tightness isn't as bad as it was.  My tinnitus is mild.  At one time it was very noticeable.  I think that was due to my high blood pressure from the serotonin toxicity.

 

I haven't been listening to music during the day.  I just like the quiet.  But when I have music on in the car I do sing to it whereas before I couldn't.

 

Sometimes it gets to bedtime and have a dread about going to bed.  Not as often as before.  I occasionally have to self soothe during the night.  Recently I have occasionally had sudden uncontrollable movement in one limb when lying in bed awake.  A bit like when a dog shakes a leg.  I don't seem to be getting the whole body jerk when dozing off like I did.  I very rarely manage to sleep through the whole night.  I listen to my mp3 player for distraction.

 

Every now and then I get annoyed and irritable.  My tolerance level is sometimes lower and I get a bit snappy.  I can shout at the cat - she's deaf.

 

I think a really big help is that I know what these things are so when they happen it doesn't frighten me.

[Survivor1]

Hi ChessieCat,

 

It is good to see how you are progressing and can appreciate how hard it can get sometimes.  I applaud you for getting down to 11.

 

I fully understand the dread about bedtime.  I have been having myoclonic jerks for a while, and can't see the end in sight.  I've had them for over a year and am becoming disheartened.  How long have you had yours - I see that you seem to be getting relief from that.  It gives me hope.

 

Wish you the best for the rest of the taper.

[ChessieCat]

4 minutes ago, Survivor1 said:

How long have you had yours

 

I really couldn't say.  Because I know about WD symptoms I don't make a big deal about them.  I just accept a symptom for what it is and it's usually when a symptom happens again or a member mentions something that I realise that a particular symptom hasn't happened for a while.

 

It was only this morning when my feet felt a bit crampy that I realised that the plantar fascia had gone.

 

I think it's just that I learn to live with something so it isn't forefront in my mind.

[Survivor1]

Thank you.  It wouldn't be so hard to live with if it didn't affect my sleep ...Grrr.

[ChessieCat]

At the beginning of February I found out that my boss was moving interstate and that I would be losing my 6 hours casual work and 1 day volunteering with that organisation.  I managed to get another volunteering role which I have already done 4 weeks of 1 day per week and will be starting 2 days there soon.  I am still doing the other volunteer role 1 day per week but the atmosphere on the day I volunteer has changed and I am considering changing my day, or at least trying a different day to see whether it is better for me.

 

So the days I work have changed, my jobs have changed, some people have already left my life and I'm losing my boss of 2.5 years x 2 days per week.  And of course it is affecting me.  It's also coming to the end of our daylight saving period so the mornings are getting darker.  Our clocks go back to normal in 1 week's time.  An it usually takes me a couple of weeks to adjust to the clocks changing, both forward and backward.  I've been feeling very down over the last month.  I know what is causing it and I am just trying to accept that as I settle into my new work and new routine that things will improve.  But it seems to be taking forever.

 

I've sewed a couple of tops recently and when I put them on they made me look fat so that was really disappointing.  I had enjoyed designing them and was very excited about having some new things to wear but it ended up being a real let down which makes me feel like I can't do anything right.  I've had to do a lot of self talk and told myself that at least I hadn't cut out all the other tops which I was planning to make.  However it has put a real dampener on my enthusiasm.

 

So instead of sewing more tops and risking messing them up I decided to take up some trousers that I have had for about 18 months.  I tried them on and they were tight, so that added to me feeling down.  Because I love food and I know I am not going to give up eating I decided that I would start using my treadmill.  I've now done 6 days, 1 x 5 mins, 3 x 10 mins & 2 x 2 lots of 10 mins.  And of course that is making me feel tired and I know it will take a couple of weeks for me to start feeling better.  But I know that it will do me good both physically and mentally and that it will help me to achieve more in the long run.  Meanwhile my house is a mess, again, so being at home makes me feel worse, but it is an effort to go out.  But I am going to go out for a drive today instead of sitting in the house feeling miserable.  At least I'll be out in the sunshine and hopefully get rid of some of my pent up frustration.  Just seeing and doing something different will hopefully help.

 

JanCarol, I'm going to see the sun today 

[ChessieCat]

I did go out for a long drive taking the scenic route not the highways.  When someone came up behind me I would pull over as soon as I could to let them pass so that I could drive at my own speed and enjoy the drive more.  Really enjoyed being out and about and was pleasantly tired when I got home.

 

Today was day 8 of the treadmill and I managed to do 20 minutes in one go.  The back of my lower right leg isn't cramping up as much or as quickly as it had been.

[Happy2Heal]

I'm so glad you enjoyed your drive.

and good for you, getting on the treadmill!
 

it seems a lot of times, just getting started is half the battle

 

maybe even more than half

 

 

 

 

[brassmonkey]

There are a couple of things that will help stretch out the back of your calf.  The easy one is standing on your heal with your toes elevated a couple of inches on something a board a couple of books, even the wall will do. Hold it for a minute or so and then let it relax and repeat a few minutes later.  The other is to rest your calf on the edge of a TV tray pr back of a low chair while sitting down.  It will hurt some but after a minute of so you can feel it "pop" as the muscle relaxes.  Do it in several places and then follow with some massage.

 

Glad you enjoyed the drive, I love getting out like that.

[Kristine]

On 26/03/2018 at 1:31 PM, ChessieCat said:

I did go out for a long drive taking the scenic route not the highways.  When someone came up behind me I would pull over as soon as I could to let them pass so that I could drive at my own speed and enjoy the drive more.  Really enjoyed being out and about and was pleasantly tired when I got home.

 

Today was day 8 of the treadmill and I managed to do 20 minutes in one go.  The back of my lower right leg isn't cramping up as much or as quickly as it had been.

Your drive sounded beautiful Chessie! I really like the idea of pulling over to let people pass...some drivers are so very impatient! I'm going to keep that in mind when im able to drive again  anyway, I hope you are having a peaceful Easter and maybe enjoying another scenic drive  Much Love K xo

[ChessieCat]

UPDATE:  Down to 10mg - yippee!!!

 

However, I will confess that last Saturday I only took 10mg with the idea of reducing 1 week earlier than the planned 4 weeks.  After about 1/2 hour I went back and took the extra 1mg.  I decided that it wasn't worth the risk.

 

The reason I mention this is to help other members understand that it is very easy to become complacent and impatient.  In the scheme of things cutting down 1 week here and another week there isn't really going to make much different to the total length of time to get off and it might cause issues.  Definitely not worth it.

 

On 3/26/2018 at 2:42 PM, Happy2Heal said:

I'm so glad you enjoyed your drive.

and good for you, getting on the treadmill!

 

Thanks H2H.  I'm wondering if I have been experiencing some mild akathisia.  I go through stages where I'm doing something and feel like I need to be doing something else or being somewhere else.  It doesn't really matter what it is called, I just know that I am experiencing it and because I understand that it is a withdrawal symptom I am better able to accept it and use non drug techniques to get through it.

 

I've noticed that even just using the treadmill for 8 days my stamina is improving and I found it easier to mow the grass last weekend but I still have to do it over 2 days.  The nuisance is that we have had some rain and some sunshine and it's about due for another mow.  And I haven't even done the backyard yet.  Grr.  Getting the back done isn't as important now because I no longer have my dog.  I used to know it was definitely time to mow when all I could see was her tail above the long grass.

 

On 3/27/2018 at 5:36 AM, brassmonkey said:

It will hurt some but after a minute of so you can feel it "pop" as the muscle relaxes. 

 

Thanks BM.  I think it might be the Achilles tendon that is tight.  I have been doing the "toes up" stretch and it does help.  There are times when it seems worse than others and I do think that some of it is withdrawal/drug related.  The day after mowing the first 1/2 of the front yard it was extremely sore.  I don't think I did a cool down stretch when I finished.  When I mowed the second half the day after being sore I made sure I stretched before, during and after and it did seem to make a difference.

 

On 3/31/2018 at 4:50 PM, Kristine said:

I really like the idea of pulling over to let people pass...some drivers are so very impatient!

 

It wasn't so much about impatient drivers, although there are some who are.  It was about me being able to drive at my own pace and slow down a bit to look at the scenery if I wanted to instead of flying past it.  I also have a car with a small engine capacity so it can take a bit of effort for it to get up hills.

 

On 3/10/2018 at 7:00 AM, ChessieCat said:

I'm still having issues with the signature screen "shivering".

 

I managed to change my signature on the PC today without the screen shivering. 

[ChessieCat]

Just want to let you know that I've decided to resign as an SA moderator.  It's time for me to move on to other things.

 

SA has been a big part of my life for the last 2 1/2 years, 2 of which I've been a mod.

 

Thank you to the members who have supported me during this part of my AD tapering journey.  I'd like to wish everyone all the best for their own journeys.

 

Remember:     acceptance     patience     non drug coping techniques

[dj2010]

18 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Just want to let you know that I've decided to resign as an SA moderator.  It's time for me to move on to other things.

 

SA has been a big part of my life for the last 2 1/2 years, 2 of which I've been a mod.

 

Thank you to the members who have supported me during this part of my AD tapering journey.  I'd like to wish everyone all the best for their own journeys.

 

Remember:     acceptance     patience     non drug coping techniques

thanks for all you have done for us, take good care

[bhasski]

Thanks for your support and all the good work.  Best wishes for your life.

[bhasski]

On 4/7/2018 at 6:13 AM, ChessieCat said:

I go through stages where I'm doing something and feel like I need to be doing something else or being somewhere else.  It doesn't really matter what it is called, I just know that I am experiencing it and because I understand that it is a withdrawal symptom I am better able to accept it and use non drug techniques to get through it.

 

I have this mostly with all the activities.. 

I feel like I shouldn't be doing this.. I am not feeling it... there is other thing.

 

[Happy2Heal]

5 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Just want to let you know that I've decided to resign as an SA moderator.  It's time for me to move on to other things.

 

SA has been a big part of my life for the last 2 1/2 years, 2 of which I've been a mod.

 

Thank you to the members who have supported me during this part of my AD tapering journey.  I'd like to wish everyone all the best for their own journeys.

 

Remember:     acceptance     patience     non drug coping techniques

 

oh no, I am going to miss you so much! sorry, I meant to say, you do what you need to do, that's the most important thing!

but I will still miss you and your wisdom, you've helped me thru some of the roughest spots and I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate that.

You've been a huge help to so many!

 

and even as you're stepping down, you continue to think of others with your reminders of the things that are the most  helpful for getting thru this process.

 

I do hope you'll pop in when you have time,  to let us know how *you* are doing.

[Frogie]

6 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Just want to let you know that I've decided to resign as an SA moderator.  It's time for me to move on to other things.

 

SA has been a big part of my life for the last 2 1/2 years, 2 of which I've been a mod.

 

Thank you to the members who have supported me during this part of my AD tapering journey.  I'd like to wish everyone all the best for their own journeys.

 

Remember:     acceptance     patience     non drug coping techniques

You take care of yourself. We are all going to miss you terribly. You have great knowledge. Good luck in wherever life takes you.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[peng]

Oh, here - going to miss you, CC!

Love & very best wishes.

X 

[Snowyowl16]

Thank you so much for all that you have done for me and the community. Best of luck to you!

[brassmonkey]

I miss you already CC. 

 

Your contributions and friendship have been invaluable. I know the feeling well about it being time to move on and get back to life.  Putting it all behind us is a very important part of healing and needs to be done by each of us in our own time. (It's not my time yet.)  This has been a very serious chapter in your life and I am so happy to have shared it with you, I only wish the circumstances could have been better.  No matter how rough it's been there are always some strong feelings when closing out a portion of ones life, but given time (where have I heard that before?) it will become a distant memory, the details of the pain will fade but the strength gained will only increase.

 

Best of luck with your new adventures.

 

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

 

Brassmonkey

[Gridley]

You have been a great mod and I've learned a lot from you.  We will all miss you.

[Miracle123]

20 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Just want to let you know that I've decided to resign as an SA moderator.  It's time for me to move on to other things.

 

SA has been a big part of my life for the last 2 1/2 years, 2 of which I've been a mod.

 

Thank you to the members who have supported me during this part of my AD tapering journey.  I'd like to wish everyone all the best for their own journeys.

 

Remember:     acceptance     patience     non drug coping techniques

Hi chessiecat, thanks for coming in my threat to helping . Will miss you too. Take good care.

 

Best regards,

Miracle

[jolena]

20 hours ago, dj2010 said:

thanks for all you have done for us, take good care

thank you!

 

[Dan998]

Thank you for all your help and advice. You can be proud that you have helped so many people during your time as a moderator. I think that moving on and away from constantly thinking about withdrawal is a necessary part of the recovery process. Good luck Chessie.

[maree]

Hi ChessieCat, You're probably already gone by now. But just in case you check back for messages all the very best. And thank you as I think (and can't find as just learning to 'drive' this site) that you sent me a helpful post. Maree

[SkyBlue]

The very best wishes to you, Chessie! I'm so grateful for your kindness and support here, especially when I first joined. <3 

[ChessieCat]

Hi everyone and thank you for your posts and kind thoughts.

 

At this time I haven't fully resigned as a moderator but I am reducing the time I spend here.

 

I am still tapering and experiencing mild withdrawal symptoms.  I'm having trouble working out whether I'm experiencing apathy from WD, boredom or have just got into the habit of not doing things.  It could be any one or a combination of them.  Having reached 60 I'm wondering what I am going to do for the rest of my life.

[ChessieCat]

Discovered this morning that I made a reduction from 9.5mg (taking for 3 weeks) to 4.5mg (for 5 days).  I should have started 9mg but got my 0.5mg and 5mg capsules switched around so it was a 50% reduction.  Ouch!  I've gone back to 9mg today.

 

Thanks to what I have learnt at SA I didn't panic but carefully double checked that what I thought had happened had.  I then had to make the decision about whether to go to 9mg or to go to 8mg or 8.5mg but decided that 9mg seemed more sensible.

[SkyBlue]

Hi Chessie, Bummer about the mistake, but as you said, I'm glad you have your "SA wisdom" to deal with it and not panic. : )

[bubbles]

3 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Discovered this morning that I made a reduction from 9.5mg (taking for 3 weeks) to 4.5mg (for 5 days).  I should have started 9mg but got my 0.5mg and 5mg capsules switched around so it was a 50% reduction.  Ouch!  I've gone back to 9mg today.

 

Thanks to what I have learnt at SA I didn't panic but carefully double checked that what I thought had happened had.  I then had to make the decision about whether to go to 9mg or to go to 8mg or 8.5mg but decided that 9mg seemed more sensible. 

 

I did that once. I thought I'd gone from 20 to 18, but actually went to 1.8 mg (Lexapro). It was not what you might call successful!!! The w/d was sufficiently extreme that it picked it up on the second (third? I think second) day.

 

I'm glad you calmly checked and didn't panic.

[ChessieCat]

Hi SkyBlue and bubbles,

 

Thanks for the support.  I'm hoping that my slow and steady taper stands me in good stead and the effect is minimal.  I'm not worrying about it, but the worst thing is knowing that it might be a few more days before any fall out happens.

[LexAnger]

I believe it happened to many of us including myself at multiple times. I'm glad you took less rather than more as that was what caused my kindling and reaction. 

You should be fine and stabilize quickly at 9mg.

 

wise move on not adding extra stress to it.