☼ ChessieCat: so I'm not the only one (Pristiq / desvenlafaxine)

[ChessieCat]

I've had a box fan on the last couple of days I keep hearing "music" again.  Very annoying, but compared to other possible symptoms only minor.

[elbee]

22 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

I posted this in another member's topic and I'm posting here for my own record:

 

So much progress!

[ChessieCat]

Thanks elbee, it is good to go back and see how I had been and how much better I am starting to be.  It helps to put everything in to perspective.  I think I'm only now starting to realise how bad things were for me on 100mg Pristiq.  Thankfully it was getting to the point being absolutely fed up with how I was feeling that made me research side effects, and the reset is history.  I have come a long way.  And it's definitely been worth it.

[Happy2Heal]

On 12/29/2018 at 2:08 AM, ChessieCat said:

I've had a box fan on the last couple of days I keep hearing "music" again.  Very annoying, but compared to other possible symptoms only minor.

 

don't know if this helps at all but long before I was on antidepressants, I would hear "music" from fans and other  forms of white noise, so I'm not sure it's a withdrawal symptom. Annoying, either way, I know

 just as an experiment (totally non scientific, being just anecdotal) I may ask others if they hear music when a fan is on.

I have this vague recollection that someone who has never been on any type of psych meds, mentioned they thought music was on when someone turned on a fan near where we were playing cards...

 

 

[JackieDecides]

On 12/28/2018 at 11:08 PM, ChessieCat said:

I've had a box fan on the last couple of days I keep hearing "music" again.  Very annoying, but compared to other possible symptoms only minor.

 

hey, I've had that!  you know what? I think I also smell things that aren't there, just slightly annoying not much. I mean, in an anxious mood it's the kind of thing that makes me sure I have a brain tumor...anyway, I'm glad to see you post this.

 

and @ChessieCat I am glad to have read some of your early posts, now, since I went and looked. as with others who have made such incredible progress, I am very inspired. ❤️

[ChessieCat]

Thanks H2H, I've only ever had it happen during withdrawal and others have also mentioned it.  However, my daughter has been to a neuro ophthalmologist and she discovered that she doesn't see in 3D.  When she put on the correct tint for her brain interpreting the signals she was able to see the depth.  I've met a lady, and know of a couple more, who have to have things printed on specific coloured paper otherwise they can't read it.  One of them had to have blue, and one a buff colour I think.

 

Jackie, yes smells that aren't there, I've had that too.  Other members mention smells being stronger.  The brain is an amazing thing and like H2H wrote, people who have never taken psychiatric drugs can have that too.

 

When it comes to psychiatric drugs and withdrawal, I think it's more a case that the brain gets a bit confused.  I have it sometimes when I can smell a metallic smell when I am standing under the water in the shower.

 

Regarding the progress, because it can happen slowly and also because we still don't feel good, it can be hard to notice the improvements and it's not until you look back that you realise how far you have come.  I've had it happen when other members mention a symptom or side effect and I think oh yes, I had that and I don't have it now.

[Carmie]

Hi ChessieCat, 

 

Thanks for the latest update. I’m glad you’ve come such a long way. I’m so sorry though that you’re still struggling with so many emotional issues though. It’s no fun, is it? 

 

I hope today is a good day for you. 

 

Sending hugs🤗💚

[ChessieCat]

Thanks Carmie.  No the emotional side of things can be a bit wearing, but I feel like I'm coping much better since having a talk with my Pastor and his wife.  Maybe just knowing that I have someone to talk to who understands if I need to is helping, whereas before I felt very alone.

 

Trying to stay cool again today.  Had a long day out yesterday, some of it in the heat.  Very enjoyable time with my two daughters and my grandson.  I've also had a poor night of sleep probably due to over stimulation/ over tired and the heat.  I dozed for about 2 hours and then got up at 12.30 am and went back to bed at 5.30 or 6.30 not sure which, but I did sleep well until about 10am.

 

I made sure I drank plenty yesterday and also had a couple of bottles of Gatorade.  Feeling hot on the inside again today so probably due to the sun and the heat but not as bad as the couple of days after Christmas day.  Time to turn the air con on.

[neroli]

Hello Chessiecat

 

That's a great piece you wrote above (29 December, quoted from something you wrote on another members thread).  It shows how much resilience you have brought to this heinous situation.  I take inspiration from it.

 

We've beaten you again - the slogan is "New Zealand - the first to see the light". But happy new year and all best wishes for that creep towards zero and manageable effects.

 

Thank you for your work on this site - you bring so much to people with your experience and insights.

 

Best of wishes

 

Neroli 💜

[bubbles]

Happy New Year, @ChessieCat

 

I hope you're keeping cool. I find I feel awful when it's really hot. I've never coped with our heat - I think I was designed to live in Scotland or Canada!

[ChessieCat]

5 minutes ago, neroli said:

We've beaten you again - the slogan is "New Zealand - the first to see the light". But happy new year and all best wishes for that creep towards zero and manageable effects.

 

😛  actually I think there is one or two other small places that do before you, but we won't worry about that.

 

6 minutes ago, neroli said:

That's a great piece you wrote above.  And shows how much resilience you have brought to this heinous situation.  I take inspiration from it.

 

Thanks neroli.  I think that is one of the good things about being able to journal here on SA.  Not just for ourselves but for others as well.  In the time I've been here I've seen improvement in members which the member themself hasn't noticed.  I think it can be helpful to occasionally go back and read the first few posts we made as members.  I know I have and I think, boy I did feel bad before.  Actually it was probably worse than I actually thought, but because I was numbed and also struggling to keep going, I didn't realise just how bad it was.

 

9 minutes ago, neroli said:

Thank you for your work on this site - you bring so much to people with your experience and insights.

 

I appreciate you kinds words.  I also gain a lot from other members and mods on the site too.

 

7 minutes ago, bubbles said:

I hope you're keeping cool. I find I feel awful when it's really hot. I've never coped with our heat - I think I was designed to live in Scotland or Canada!

 

Hi bubbles, thanks for dropping in and Happy New Year to you tpo.  We've been getting hot weather where I am (away from the coast so Sydney temps aren't relevant to me) since Christmas and it's going to be hot for at least the next week.  However, I don't like the cold either.  I like spring and autumn temperatures, but those times of year just never seem to last long enough for me.  There is no way I could live in Queensland it would be too humid for me.  And areas south of Sydney and Victoria get much too cold.

 

I'm from English parents so I think I feel the heat more than regular Aussie people.  Although I am finding that now I'm on a lower dose of Pristiq that I'm not feeling it as badly.  I'm also overweight so that doesn't help.  Because of the cost of running the a/c I try not to use it too much and will try all other cooling methods before switching it on.  But it does get to the point of, no, I've had enough, time to flick the switch, or at least reach over and press the button on the remote.

 

On 12/30/2018 at 7:50 PM, ChessieCat said:

Thankfully it was getting to the point being absolutely fed up with how I was feeling that made me research side effects, and the reset is history. 

 

I've just noticed the typo I made (I don't have spell checker) in the above quote and thought it was very appropriate.  reset is history.  Yes it has been a reset.

[neroli]

33 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

😛  actually I think there is one or two other small places that do before you, but we won't worry about that.

oh, ok 🤣

[Carmie]

Hi ChessieCat, 

 

I hope you continue to stay cool in the hot weather. Whoever invented the air conditioner was a genius! ( I wonder how long ago it was invented, time to google😄)  It sounds like you really got heatstroke quite bad the other day seeing you couldn’t cool down on the inside. It must take a while to fully recover from that. 

 

I’m so glad you had fun with your daughters n grandson, and that you made sure you were hydrated. 

 

Take care, and stay cool.☂️❄️🥤💦💚

 

 

[JackieDecides]

14 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

I've just noticed the typo I made (I don't have spell checker) in the above quote and thought it was very appropriate.  reset is history.  Yes it has been a reset.

 I love this. we have and are having a reset!  Happy New Year!

[ChessieCat]

Thanks Carmie, I appreciate you keeping an eye on me.  It has helped me to be vigilant regarding the heat.  When I was growing up the evaporative cooler was the best thing available.  Before that it was putting a wet sheet over a clothes airer and having the bottom of the sheet in a bucket of water so it stayed wet and having the fan on behind it.  So a/c in the home has only been a fairly recent thing (within my life time).

 

Hi Jackie, I thought it was really funny but very appropriate when I saw it.  I've noticed a few typos/spell check changes in other members' posts and sometimes they make sense and at other times they can actually be the opposite of what was meant or change to a different word which makes the sentence crazy and hilarious.

 

The interesting thing is that when we read a sentence we read what we expect it to say so we don't always pick up on the error.  That's why typists shouldn't proof read their own work.

[ChessieCat]

I've been noticing a definite increase in feeling hotter after I've eaten.  It's happen on at least 3 occasions recently.  And I'm eating cold foods.

[Carmie]

48 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

I've been noticing a definite increase in feeling hotter after I've eaten.  It's happen on at least 3 occasions recently.  And I'm eating cold foods.

 

Hi ChessieCat, 

 

I googled the subject but couldn’t find anything on feeling hot after eating cold foods. Don’t have much concentration today so I may have missed something, but most of the articles say that cold foods don’t increase heat??? I drink cold berry n coconut water smoothies and always feel cold after them. 

 

Maybe it has something to do with digestion?? We will have to unravel this mystery. 😀💚

 

 

[ChessieCat]

When I said "cold foods" I didn't mean they were refrigerated, just that it wasn't a hot meal.  Funny thing is I didn't even think to search for it on SA 🤣

 

Just found this topic which would seem to give some credence to the increased body temperature:

 

eating-as-an-activating-factor-increasing-anxiety-or-symptoms

 

And this one:  body-temperature-dysregulation-fever-chills-shivering-too-hot-too-cold-flashes-flushes

[Carmie]

Well there you go ChessieCat, 

 

The investigator in you found the answer. Woohoo!🎉💚💚

[ChessieCat]

Putting this here as a reminder to self:

 

39 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Heat has a big effect on sleeping -- the body normally wants to cool down to get ready for sleep. Summers can be difficult when people with sensitized nervous systems get too hot, their temperature regulation is off.

 

[bubbles]

I find eating a hot meal often makes me uncomfortably warm. I’m in my peri menopause though. 

[ChessieCat]

Hi bubbles, I wouldn't think twice about a hot meal, or hot drink, making me hotter.  I was just surprised when I noticed it happened a few days in a row.  I think I noticed it because we are getting a run of hot weather where I am and I've been keeping a check on myself because of the heat.  I'd been managing to keep myself cool during the morning each time but then noticed after lunch that I suddenly got hot.  And it wasn't because I'd been moving around a lot making lunch.

 

And I'm well and truly post menopause. 😊

[ChessieCat]

UPDATE:  Reducing to 4.75mg today, with a 21 day hold.

 

Today is the first time that I thought it would be a good idea to transfer the capsules into smaller containers and put the correct number of capsules for the taper in each container.  It will be nice seeing the number of capsules reducing as I get to the end of the 21 or 28 day period.  And it also means that I won't have to keep checking my taper calendar to see when I am supposed to make the next reduction.  It's only taken 3y 2m to think to do it.  But I've still got about 2y to go so not a wasted idea.

 

I posted in a member's topic yesterday about how we get impatient during a taper.  I think that part of it is that we start to feel as if we don't need the drug anymore, when in fact it is the brain that still needs the drug.  This is something that I know and understand, but I think sometimes we need to re-word something so that it reinforces it.

[Carmie]

Good morning ChessieCat, 

 

I hope that all is going well with your latest reduction.💚

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi Carmie,

 

Yes it's going okay thanks.  Today is day 4 and over the last 2 I have noticed an increase in irritability.  And it wasn't caused by the weather because they were both pleasantly cool.  Very thankful I only went down 0.25mg instead of 0.5mg.  At least I know what it is and that it will most likely reduce over time.

 

I was very thankful for my counted capsules this morning.  When I went to clean my teeth I couldn't remember taking it.  Of course, because I was previously taking capsules out the "full" bottle, my brain was automatically trying to remember what I had done earlier in the morning and I was having great difficulty because my days recently have been the same so there was nothing that I could latch on to to help me to recall if I had taken them.  I didn't panic, but it was nice when I remembered that I had counted capsules so was able to work backwards.  And yes, I had taken it.

[Carmie]

Hi again ChessieCat, 

 

Glad to hear your latest reduction is going well. I’m starting my crosstaper tonight. Sorry about the irritability, I’m afraid every time we reduce, even if our symptoms are minor, we can’t escape from some kind of symptoms. Those nasty meds! I’m glad you only made a small drop, very wise. 

 

I know, it’s scary when you can’t remember whether you’ve taken your meds or not. Glad you didn’t panic. Great result! Phew! 

 

That’s great the weather isn’t too bad for you at the moment either, enjoy!💚

 

 

 

[JackieDecides]

On 1/7/2019 at 4:14 PM, ChessieCat said:

Yes it's going okay thanks.

 

I'm glad things are going well and that you are counting and keeping track! 

😍

[ChessieCat]

Thanks Jackie.  Another couple of years of this and I'll have it perfect.

[Carmie]

You will get there ChessieCat, 

 

You’ve done amazing so far. You’ll get off these meds before me. I’m soooo looking forward to reading your success story 💚

[Happy2Heal]

17 hours ago, Carmie said:

I’m soooo looking forward to reading your success story 💚

 

 

me too!
Chessiecat is my role model for patience.

and a lot of other things too

 

[Carmie]

4 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

 

me too!
Chessiecat is my role model for patience.

and a lot of other things too

 

 

Too true H2H, 

 

Can’t wait until we are all writing our success stories. It will happen!! ChessieCat is a whiz with the computer too. I’m not very computer literate. I just use my iPad for everything. The only thing I use the computer for is journaling and taking notes, so it’s more or less a glorified typewriter. Sending hugs to you🤗

 

Hi ChessieCat, 

 

Hope your day is going well. It’s quite humid here today. Hope you’re keeping cool💚

 

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Putting this here for later reference:

 

46 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Nick-- now that is the type of post I love to see.  It shows all the positive signs of taper that is working and a person making the adjustment required to make things a success.  Getting to the 20mg area is quite an accomplishment.  It is also starting to move you into a totally new area of tapering.  If you can find the SERT charts, they're around there somewhere, you will see that the number of receptors coming back on line is going to start to increase faster and faster with each drop.  This could make for an increase in symptoms, which I think you are starting to see with your window and wave pattern. It's great that you've developed the mental outlook and awareness to keep things in perspective and have a plan of attack for the future.

 

Why taper paper: dose-occupancy curves

 

With more and more receptors starting to work there will be a slow increase in mental clarity, ability to do things and adapt to situations.  It can also drag up a lot of things from your past some true, some false and some that never even happened and magnify the heck out of them.  This is a variation on the wave theory, and can be handled by remembering about spiral thinking and neuroemotions.  With practice these types of thoughts respond very well to AAF and CBT.  For recurring baggage from the past I got to the point where I would say "I've been through this all before, thought it through and accepted my conclusion, there is no need to do it all again".  I would follow up with changing the channel and some distraction and the thoughts would leave me alone. In the beginning the trick is to recognize the spiral before it can get a foot hold.  That takes some vigilance, practice and having to go through several spirals but pretty soon some patterns and triggers will show themselves and you can get down to work.

 

This will also provide a good time for some self reflection.  With all the c--- being dragged up it will provide ample opportunities to review your beliefs, goals and aspirations and help set a new course for the future.  The nice thing is a persons core beliefs are still there, your attitudes to right and wrong and the like.  They still need to be reviewed, but probably won't change much.  A personal review is something that a lot of people have trouble with while in ADWD, but it is a very important part of the healing process.  We all went on these drugs for a reason, we need to make sure that the reason is resolved by the time we get off of them.  Too many people can't wait to get back to the person they were before, which is a big mistake.  Even without the drugs a person is going to have changed over the same period of time, so there is no way possible to go back.  But we have been given the opportunity for a second chance to rebuild ourselves into the person we are meant to be, we just need to fine who that is and make it possible.

 

 

[neroli]

Hello ChessieCat

 

Popping in to say hello and see how you are doing with the latest reduction.  Sounds like there is some kickback but not too onerous so far.  May it continue that way.

 

Thanks for the BM post above - it has sunk in with me that the "old" me is out of date now and will likely never come back after this experience.

10 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

[BrassMonkey] But we have been given the opportunity for a second chance to rebuild ourselves into the person we are meant to be, we just need to fine who that is and make it possible.

 

So, yes this is all part of the process, and of course the picture of the future "new" us will never be a complete, clearly-visible end point as we will continue to adjust, develop and evolve all the way through the tapering, healing and beyond.  I realise now I have always been looking for the complete (perfect?) version of me and it has taken this life event to help me loosen the grip of that impossible task, as we are always changing.  I hope, anyway.  

 

Best wishes to you.

 

Neroli 💜

Edited January 13, 2019 by ChessieCat
added BM to quote

[ChessieCat]

Hi Carmie and H2H,

 

It's funny because I must admit that I don't think about writing a success story.  Maybe because I know I still need to get through another couple of years of plodding along.  When I think about it, it is rather crazy.  Almost 25 years on an AD and 5 years to get off.  BUT my dose is a lot lower and that is what counts and what I need to remember.

 

Hi neroli, thanks for dropping in.

 

Yes, things have improved since my last reduction a week ago.  I did notice an increase in my irritability/anxiety for several days.  I returned to work on Thursday and found it very hard to stay focused, but I had been out for the day on Wednesday so was a bit tired from that.  I didn't end up going in on Friday.  I knew I had to get my yards mowed and I have to pace myself to do those.  I'm returning to my other volunteer job tomorrow (Monday) so this week will be back to my normal 3 day week.  However, we have a run of hot weather this week Monday 35, then 40, 41 (home those 2 days) then 42, 43, 42 (home) degrees C this week, so I will see how I am.  I might end up working from home on Thursday and Friday because then at least I won't be out in the heat in the afternoon after being in a cool office.

 

The good thing that I've noticed is that I'm starting to be able to look ahead more and plan things.  For a while I was able to look ahead but couldn't do things and before that I couldn't even look ahead.  It's little things like this that make me realise that I am slowly improving.  I think I'm also learning to think in terms of what is necessary, what can wait, and what doesn't matter.

[Carmie]

Hi ChessieCat, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing. That’s great to hear that you’re starting to plan things and looking ahead more. It certainly helps when we have things to look forward to. Yay for improvements!🎉🎉🎉

 

Hope you’re coping okay at work and keeping cool💚💚

 

[eymen23]

On 1/13/2019 at 7:46 AM, ChessieCat said:

The good thing that I've noticed is that I'm starting to be able to look ahead more and plan things.  For a while I was able to look ahead but couldn't do things and before that I couldn't even look ahead.  It's little things like this that make me realise that I am slowly improving.  I think I'm also learning to think in terms of what is necessary, what can wait, and what doesn't matter.

 

This is a great sign Chessie! I always know I’m feeling well when I’m able to start thinking of the future and plan something, and have little to no doubt or anxiety about whether I will make it or whether I can ‘pull it off’.

 

I don’t know if you’re familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? It’s a basic theory that suggests we must fulfil the basic needs such as health, shelter, love; before advancing onto the more complex and individualised needs, such as finding our passion in life or improving our social status. 

 

What you’re saying demonstrates that to an extent. As your health improves (less dependent on AD’s) you’re able to get more stuck into the other aspects of life.