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ChessieCat

Another thing I had been having was increased anxiety.  So much so that twice this week I had to do controlled breathing to stop panic attacks happening.  I recognised what was happening (CBT course from a year ago came in handy) and was able to stop it from manifesting.  Very proud of myself for being able to nip it in the bud.  Again from http://mentalhealthdaily.com:

 

Anxiety: While there is some evidence that omega-3 increases lead to decreased cortisol (a stress hormone), not everyone feels less anxious from fish oil. One side effect that people have reported is an increased level of anxiety. This may stem directly from an increase certain neurotransmitters like acetylcholine.

 

CC

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ChessieCat

Well, well, well.  Just found this info whilst searching for something (can't remember what).

 

Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) is an SNRI used to treat depression. It works by increasing the amount of serotonin and norepinephrine available in the brain.
 
Knew that, but not this ...
 
Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline. It works by constricting (narrowing) the blood vessels and increasing blood pressure and blood glucose (sugar) levels.
 
UPDATE:  Took the plunge this morning and dropped from 75mg to 67.5mg.  Hung out a couple of big loads of washing and didn't get any lower backache like I had been getting once I started doing physical things.  Only taking AD, BP (4mg), VitD, Iron, Calcium and Multivitamin.
 
CC

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ChessieCat

UPDATE:  So I did more washing yesterday and did start having issues with sore/weak muscles but not as bad as before.

 

Will fess up to waking up this morning feeling yuck which I put down to a couple of physical days and not sleeping well last night.  However it wasn't long before I realised my ears were "blocked" and then got a headache.  I tried sleeping it off after taking some Dimetapp but it didn't seem to work so I ended up taking an additional 2.5mg Pristiq and a couple of paracetamol and going back for some more sleep.  I have woken up feeling so much better.  I also realised when I stopped to think about it that I had been feeling a bit stressy and was shallow breathing since about lunchtime yesterday.  That has gone too.

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ChessieCat

Good news.  Woke up early this morning (no, not good news) and had a few minutes with no tinnitus!!!  Was nice to hear external crickets, not internal cicadas.

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Sarabera

 

Well, well, well.  Just found this info whilst searching for something (can't remember what).

 

Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) is an SNRI used to treat depression. It works by increasing the amount of serotonin and norepinephrine available in the brain.
 
Knew that, but not this ...
 
Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline. It works by constricting (narrowing) the blood vessels and increasing blood pressure and blood glucose (sugar) levels.
 

 

Hi Chessie--Happy New Years Day!

Don't you just love it when you find more wonderful side effects of the drug you've been on. This is happening to me all the time these days. Increasing blood glucose is not good--probably the mechanism that makes these drugs so fattening. Very hard on all systems in the body. Another good reason to get off!

Sarah

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ChessieCat

Hi Sara, thanks for dropping by.  Well it's all more stuff that keeps us going off to the doctors :mad:  As long as I can keep my sense of humour and be cynical at the same time I'll be able to stop myself from becoming an angry and bitter "druggie".

 

All good reasons to get off, I agree, but I want off NOW!!!  Thankfully I know better ;)  CC

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bubble

Hi Chessie, I was just wondering how come you took that additional pristiq...

 

I know I sound so nit picking but not reacting to symptoms by changing the dose was absolutely the key lesson I had to learn in the beginning of my tapering process. Sorry if I'm missing something but I felt it was important to draw your attention to that.

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ChessieCat

Hi Bubble (I tried to PM earlier today - just wanted to say I hope you are okay).

 

Thank you for your concern.  I do appreciate it and am open to suggestions and people questioning my decisions.  I wanted to hold until later this month but after seeing the graphs thought I might be able to get away with going down.  I'm fed up with always feeling so tired (and having to sleep during the day), soreness (which has meant I can't do much physical stuff - this has been going on for months and months) and apathetic.  Anyway, it was middle of day 3 that I took the additional 2.5mg when my ears were so blocked that they were on the verge of hurting (and my thinking was that if I was having trouble coping with it and if it happened to stay it would have driven me mad).  I held off for as long as I could and then started getting a headache as well.  I also felt that getting the extra in so soon after having dropped was better for my brain than waiting too long as I had tried the Dimetapp and it hadn't done anything.

 

From my experiences of missing doses in the past (didn't take long before I could feel it) and also from how quickly my reinstatement from 50mg to 100mg worked (within a few hours the foggy head had cleared) I decided to go up a bit.  I feel that I made the right call.  The blocked feeling lessened mid-afternoon and this morning even though I am still aware of my ears being a bit weird it is not too bad and my irritability/anxiety/stressy feeling has gone.  Because of what I have learned here I was fairly certain I didn't need to go all the way back to 75mg and tried going up to 70mg with the idea that if the ear problem stayed around and became unbearable I would go back up another 2.5mg.

 

This has been a learning experience for me (and of course we don't know what is going to happen until we try it with this "stuff").  Depending on how the tiredness ans soreness goes I plan to hold a minimum of 4 weeks (will review at that time).  I will consider a smaller taper depending on how things go.  My tinnitus does not seem as intrusive as it had been too!!!  And I feel a bit more positive in myself, and I don't think it is wishful thinking (at least I hope it isn't).

 

I hope that makes sense.  I don't mind anyone asking questions if they have any.  CC

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bubble

Thank you for clarifying Chessie. I was typing from he phone so couldn't see your signature and realise that you have updosed rather than taken what some call a 'rescue dose'. 

 

I just wanted to be safe rather than sorry (seeing you unwell). It's great to see that you got to know yourself so well, have acquired a lot of knowledge and are making very informed decisions. And helping others.

 

I hope things get even better for you. 

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ChessieCat

Thanks bubble, I appreciate your support and explaining your concern.  It helps me to have more confidence in what I am doing.

 

UPDATE:  Still on 70mg.  Have had headache on and off (mainly front of head) but it is bearable (a couple of times it has become borderline bearable and I have considered updosing but I'm managing to stick it out).  The ear pressure is minimal and also bearable.  Also a bit irritable over little things.  At least I understand why it is happening so that definitely helps.  If I didn't it would make this all very scary.

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ChessieCat

UPDATE:  No headache today.  Also don't seem to feel as tired as I have been.  No obvious aches or pains.  Just a teensy bit stressy.

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Fresh

Hiya CC , how have the last few days been?

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ChessieCat

Hi Fresh,

 

Thanks for dropping by.  Pretty good actually.  Had a strange start to the day (wasn't bad just different and didn't last long) but at least I understood that it was "normal" and it didn't freak me out and send me into a panic attack.

 

No headache for the last couple of days.  Still a bit tired, but doesn't seem to be the absolute tiredness I had before.  Today is my 3rd day in a row of not returning to bed to have a sleep.  Having a tiny bit of trouble thinking and concentrating.  Finding word games a bit tricky at the moment so wouldn't even want to try a sudoku!  Only feeling a teensy bit stressy.  Been managing to read a book over the last couple of days.  Can't read for long but at least I can.  And I seem to be remembering parts of it too.  Also managing to do a few things on the computer other than playing games.  My typing seems to be improving too.  And I sometimes have breaks from my tinnitus.  All little things, but all heading in the right direction.

 

After getting the ear pressure when I dropped 10% and it easing after I updosed the 2.5mg it made me realise how potent these drugs are how much of a change they cause.  Also made me even more thankful that I found this site when I did.  Took the opportunity of informing the pharmacist about AD withdrawal when I got my script filled.

 

It's been nice to see the sun today!!!  It was lovely standing at my kitchen sink this morning with the sun coming in on me.  Like a warm hug (which I really needed).  Although I have to admit that I did enjoy hearing the rain, and there wasn't any thunder with it which made a nice change too!  BTW your dog is very cute.

 

CC

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Seeker53

Hi CC,

Sounds like you are coping very well and your decision to up dose was a good one. I guess we all want to be of these drugs NOW. But we know we need to take it slowly. Well done for tuning in to your body, listening to what it is telling you and following a sensible path. Tinnitus is annoying - I have had it for years but the last disastrous taper flared it up full on. Even our noisy bedroom ceiling fan couldn't drown it out! Luckily, it settled back down to the usual level when I had to double the original ad dose.

 

It is amazing what these drugs do to our whole bodies. If only we knew all this before we started on them! But then again, getting to tune into our minds, bodies, emotions etc is very good for us in the long run.

 

Glad you are enjoying the sunshine. You've had a bad run of weather down there and sunshine is so good for the soul. Take care of yourself and stay happy. Say hi to your cat. Pets are very good for us.

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ChessieCat

Hi Seeker, thanks for dropping by.  Yes, pets are good for us.  Very thankful that I have my dog and cat to keep me company and make me get out of bed.

 

Time for a rant.  I am fed up with what this stuff had done to me.  I am angry about how it's affected me physically and mentally.  I'm upset about how it is limiting what I can do and enjoy.  I'm sad because the state my house is in means that I can't have my daughter and her family stay (daughter, 2 yo grandson, SIL and his MindDog) with me next week.  Even if I was able to get the house into a reasonable state, it would take me a while to recover from doing it so I wouldn't be able to handle them being here.  I'm angry that even if my house was perfect, having them here would be so stressful and take me weeks to recover.  I was sick of being tired.  Now I'm not so tired but can't physically do much.  Everything is such an effort.  Writing this brings on a bit of anxiety and tears.  This whole thing stinks!!!  Yes I'm human.

 

On the other hand, I am thankful for finding the reason for my apathy which over the years I kept telling myself was laziness.

 

CC

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bubble

Thank you for sharing this. It's a very familiar feeling/situation... Also this feeling of labeling oneself lazy and all sorts of things.

 

Since I came here I'm seeing this as something temporary: it's only now that I can't do this but the time is coming when I'll be able to  do it. Withdrawing from doing it now will actually make it possible for me to do it sooner.

 

The only problem is that this temporary takes an awful lot of time (and sometimes things get even worse and we are reduced to an even lower level of functioning...) But we are on the right track. No more wondering helplessly and hopelessly...

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ChessieCat

Thanks bubble, I appreciate your comments.  My head knows and agrees with what you said but the feelings are taking over at the moment.  I'm very thankful that I understand what is happening.  I'd be a real mess if I didn't.  Also glad I have tools to use.  It's just tough having to go through it.  And as you said it's the awful lot of time for the temporary.  I found SA's spa yesterday.  Maybe it's time for me to go and get a bit of virtual pampering.

 

CC

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Shep

Hi, CC.

 

We met over on my Intro thread and I just found yours, so I thought I'd say hello.

 

I hear you on how tough this is, and your comment on apathy is something I can definitely relate to. It's a lot easier knowing the truth, even if it comes with anger about how this affected you.  I think when I started to have some rage, it was actually a good thing and it felt like my brain was coming back online. A bit jagged at times, but it does get better.

 

I'm just now feeling up to roaming around this site a bit more instead of hiding in my Intro. 

 

I didn't know SA had a virtual spa, but it's not surprising - I'm finding so many interesting things on this site.  Perhaps you can point me to it. 

 

Hope you're feeling better today. 

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ChessieCat

Hi Shep and welcome to my little corner of SA.  Would you care for any refreshments whilst you're here?  Don't mind me.  The visit to the spa allowed me to relax and have a nap (real) and I'm now feeling quite chilled out (well not cold as it's 37C degrees outside) but quite relaxed.

 

I was wondering about the brain coming back online too.  Recently I've been getting very clear memories with vivid images (good ones thankfully).  I don't think I'm dreaming like I had been either.  Maybe we notice the bad symptoms  more than the improvements because the improvements are very subtle.  I am just so thankful for this site.  A "sliding doors"of our lives would be interesting, like the movie, with and without SA knowledge and support.  Then again, after reading so many intros, I can guess I would have ended up a mess fairly soon down the track.

 

Anyway, make sure you visit the spa.  Well worth a visit.

 

CC

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Seeker53

Hi CC

Thanks for the link to the spa. I've had a quick look. It's just what I am needing so I'll make an appointment soon :)

Glad your brain is actually coming back. Mine is still stuck in the fog of ad. I'm able to function well but I don't feel like me. And with my new slow taper only just started, it will be a long time yet.

 

Do we have a pet section on sa? If not, maybe we should

 

About anger. I think we all feel this at some time. Anger about the situation and the effects it has on us. I try to notice the anger and be ok with it - because we do have a right to feel angry. We just don't need the anger to control us. It's just another emotion really and we do know we are doing all we can today, now, to get better and live life fully. And we all get frustrated too which, to me is another form of anger. It's also ok to notice those feelings be at peace with them.

 

I agree with you about us noticing the bad symptoms more than the subtle improvements. I think we are often smacked in the face by our bad symptoms and then because we notice these bad feelings, we go with the. And think things will not change for the better. I guess that's where keeping a journal - or updating our personal sa thread helps. Then we can notice these feelings but actually have some timeline to refer back to, to check how far we have really come.

 

It's sad that you are feeling anxious and teary sometimes but at least you are recognising it for what it is and taking steps to ease these feelings. Be kind to yourself and use your knowledge. And love your cat and dog more! Pets usually don't mind the extra attention and it's good therapy for you.

 

Keep on smiling. Give yourself a pat on the back. You are doing very well really.

 

S53

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ChessieCat

Thanks S53, I really appreciate your support.  Sometimes we just need a little reminder.  CC

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Fresh

We have a spa here? How did I not know this? Thanks CC.

 

Seeker , check out "Aww , Pets and Love" in the Off Topic section.

It's member's only if you'd like to post pics.

 

:)

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ChessieCat

Hi Fresh,

 

Came across the spa link when reading a thread from a member from way back (I think).  Pleased to hear about the Pets topic.  Will have to check it out and post some pics of my 2 4-legged critters.

 

CC

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KarenB

I hear you CC about just being so sick of it. 

 

I know I have thoughts tip-toeing round the back of my head saying 'oh no, we're stuck here forever, our life is ruined...' and I worry that if they tip-toe round the front of my mind I'll freak out.  

 

I hope your venting helped you somewhat - it's gotta be a good thing to do every now and then.  I think we have a cursing thread somewhere here too (which doesn't get moderated ;)).   

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ChessieCat

Thanks Karen.  I am feeling much better today.  I think I just got dumped by a wave.  At least I didn't get caught in a rip.

 

Being on this forum is helping so much.  I dread to think how bad any of us would be if we didn't have the support we get.  Yes, venting did help thank you.  I also felt much better once I had told my daughter that they couldn't stay this time (I had said yes on Saturday and then the realisation sunk in on Sunday). Going from just me and the dog and cat (living life as it comes) to having a house full for a week or more just wasn't going to happen.  What makes it worse is that my DD & SIL don't seem to communicate about who's doing what when or where.  Drives me nuts at the best of times.  I made the right decision for me.

 

After our wet days last week, we are now having stinking hot, humid temps in Sydney (and I am nowhere near the coast).  Very thankful I got my air conditioners installed 4 years ago.  I've lived here for 32 years and put up with the heat for too long.  Got to 37 C yesterday and I think 40 forecast for today.  At least I can cool the house down as I need to, and there is one in the bedroom which is a real blessing.

 

CC

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AliG

Hi CC. I'm pleased to see you let off some steam and had a bit of a " vent" . I think it does us all good to do that every now & then. I thought this was an interesting perspective. I hadn't thought about it like that, but I think it is a valid point.

 

Quote :    A "sliding doors"of our lives would be interesting, like the movie, with and without SA knowledge and support.  Then again, after reading so many intros, I can guess I would have ended up a mess fairly soon down the track.

 

I totally agree. I think there would be a lot here, like you and I who would have " crashed & burned", without the knowledge we have gained here.  I hope you have continued success  with your tapering.  Also , thanks for the " heads-up " on the " recovery spa". LOL.  A great place to visit, once in a while !  :)

Ali

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bromor

Wanted to check in and see how you were feeling. I so understand your posts about anger ect ~ I beat myself up for ever taking these stupid meds & creating far worse anxiety that I ever had organically. *sigh. That being said ~ can't focus on the past. I'm grateful for SA because I wouldn't have known what was happening to me & continued the too fast tapers & subsequent different ad prescribed. Hope you're having a peaceful, relaxing day!

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ChessieCat

Hi AliG, Thanks for posting.  I definitely felt better soon after posting.  And I think it is okay to post the good and the bad because it can give me and also others perspective.  SA is different to FB and the like.  Here it is the good, the bad and the ugly.  FB is the good, the beautiful and the stunning.

 

Hi Bromor,  Thanks for dropping in.  I agree, that we can't live by the "if only".  We have to remember that we didn't know any better at the time.  We just have to deal with the now and do the best we can with the knowledge we now have.  I'm posting a quote from another thread below as a reminder about this same thing.

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ChessieCat

1st Quote:  Fresh          2nd Quote:  Seeker53

 


If I do get a delayed reaction after I finally stop , I don't want to be left wondering "what if" I'd gone slower? held longer?   At least I'll know I gave it my very best.

 

I think this is very important.  Need to remember this.

 

I don't think there are any guarantees. Just risk minimisation. But what are the odds? And are they worth it when the stakes are so high?

Just pondering these things............not overly stressed by them, just starting to consider down the track.......and my precious life.

 

You, me and hundreds of others.

 

CC

 

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ChessieCat

UPDATE:  Think I might be starting to see some improvement.  Since just over a week ago I've daily been having a 2/3 serve of Protein Blend.  Yesterday and today I've been climbing up and down on/off chairs and a table (a neighbour's tree blew over - away from the house luckily) and I had to climb up to be able to see it.  I felt fine when I got up this morning and been okay today.  Previously I probably would have felt a wreck if I had done this.  Now to get the enthusiasm to co-operate.  CC

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ChessieCat

UPDATE:  Body's feeling fairly good. Mowed my front yard yesterday and recovered well from that but my short-term memory isn't too good at the moment.  Definitely can't multi-task either.

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bromor

Sounds like a pretty good update ???? glad to hear ~ in spite of short term memory stuff.

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ChessieCat

Thanks bromor.

 

Thought I'd stop by and let people know that I am doing all right.  On 21st January I dropped another 2.5 mg so I am now on 67.5 mg which I had tried to get to previously.  Only had mild ear/head pressure for a few days and my memory and enthusiasm for things is improving.  Managing to have the radio music on whilst on the computer but do get a teensy bit stressy occasionally and been finding reading posts can set me off (very sad and sorry to hear about Blue).  I've been hanging around but just glancing at posts of the members I "know" to see how they are going.  I'm am continually amazed at how many people join up.  And to think that the medical profession consider WD issues unusual.

 

I seem to be enjoying things more and wanting to do stuff but haven't got the physical stamina yet, which I realise is from not having been doing much over the last few(?) months.  Went out and fed some horses yesterday and wondered why my arms felt heavy when I brushed my hair this morning and then realised it was from patting and feeding the horses.  Not having to have naps as often and sleeping well at night.  I had a strange thing happen recently, I woke up laughing twice in the one night.  I think I was dreaming and found something funny and think I was literally LOLing and roused myself up.  I have never had that happen before.

 

If you are in a wave at the moment, hang in there.  If you are fortunate to have a window, enjoy it (and don't feel guilty).

 

Best wishes to all, CC

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Sarabera

Hi Chessiecat,

Great to hear that you are having some better days. I think the change of the season and getting out more will do us all some good!

Sarah

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nz11

Good luck with the recent drop.

 

I'm am continually amazed at how many people join up.  And to think that the medical profession consider WD issues unusual.

Hey you too!

 

Im amazed just how quickly a thread ends up on page 2 , 3 ...or 4....and here's a prediction it is only going to speed up.

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bromor

So glad to hear! I especially love that you woke yourself up laughing ~ that is a true blessing ????honestly, I get frustrated sometimes when my body can't keep up ~ have to remember we are healing our brains & our bodies. Have a great rest of your week.

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