stan Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 hi all, i am 60 years old,live in France,have taken 12 years paxil+1 year celexa=13 years i have anxiety disorder emotions since child (have fear vacuum space so do not drive because slide hill roads) but have lived happily with until 45 year old, doctor put after my first little panic attack on paxil, the first 5/6 years were ok, the next 5/6 years i was in a slow increasing tolerance which was at high at the end, i don't tell anything to my doctor but decided to wean when retired (3 years ago) after a cold turkey 1,5 month, failed, doc switched me on celexa (big mistake i think) after 1 month on, i started taper during 11 months,found benzo org and taper as the manual ashton every week with syringue i never been stabalize, hell suffering since my cold turkey i had many heavy symptoms ( akathisia standing, shortness of breath, dysautonomia, all functions messed ) as i divorced before tapering, being alone was very hard sometime (hopefully i only thinked maybe 4 times of ending my life as many have thinked in this awful state) i am two years off in a few days i suffer actually : shortness of breath (cannot walk far or exercise since the beginning, have to rest), unable to stand (worse when stress), nocturia (each hour awake to pee)hopefully often reach to sleep a little actually, i will recheck my heart because chest pains and have mvp and two narrowing since two years, ribcage pains,back pain , shoulders heat and pain, bladder, bowels and stomac weird, globally tense trembling, when go each day outdoor have chemical terror, chemical anxiety, and little focus, cognitive ... all this appear slowly since my tapering and withdrawal, i never had nothing health and recently often ophtalmic headaches without pain i try to eat well but i am against supplement, any med since two years i have globally improved but do not have turned the corner, will try to reach 2,5 years mark thank to read for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
Hopeful Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Stan, Believe me I know how bad it is...don't give up it takes time, but you will get better. I know how hard it is in the middle of it, but I got through it. At one point my anxiety was so bad I couldn't leave the house...last night I was running around with my teenage daughter shopping and having a great time! Take care! Began Paxil 10/97* Paxil free 10/16/04 (tapered over 2.5 months) Severe withdrawal 12/04 started Lexapro due to Paxil w/d symptoms (tapered over 4 months) Lexapro free 8/2/05 2 1/2 year severe protracted withdrawal Doing well now with a few residual symptoms Link to comment
Neuroplastic Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Hey, Stan! Welcome to the forum! You've been doing great. The months to come will see even more improvement. Healing is a matter of time. We're walking with you... 2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression 2008 - Paxil c/t Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once” Albert Einstein "Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!" Surviving Antidepressants And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking. Link to comment
Healing Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Bienvenue, mon ami! Mon dieu, your English has taken a quantum leap in the last month! We really have to get to work on my French. I am so glad to see you here. How funny that you found SA so soon! You are a virtuoso on the Internet. You are still in the middle of a nightmare. But, look at Hopeful. I knew her when she could not leave the house. She was in a terrible state for a very long time. And look at her now! Having fun! Amazing. 1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so... 1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so... 2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so... Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly Link to comment
stan Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 thank you all for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
summer Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Welcome, Stan! I'm so glad you're here! Many good days are ahead for you... one day at a time. summer Charter Member 2011 Link to comment
Neuroplastic Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Welcome, Stan! I'm so glad you're here! Many good days are ahead for you... one day at a time. summer Scientifically proved & approved. 2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression 2008 - Paxil c/t Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once” Albert Einstein "Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!" Surviving Antidepressants And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking. Link to comment
Lor95 Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Stan, I know you probably don't know me but i've always followed your posts at "the other place" and am so glad you are here. Paxil 20mg 1995 for panic disorder/anxiety. 3 attempts to w/d c/t. Horrific w/d hit after 1 month each time. Straight back to 20mg. 2003-2007: 30mg. 30mg to 20mg slowly over 2007. 20mg to 15mg (liquid) (Jan 2009) - big problems, back up to 20mg (pill) immediately. Recovered slowly. 20mg to 15mg (liquid) (Dec to Feb 2010) - suicidal. Back to 20mg May 2010, could not stabilise. Dec 2010 to 31/01/2012: 20mg~9.6mg in tiny drops. 21/02/12~9.0 08/03/12~8.4 22/03/12~7.9 12/04/12~7.5 03/05/12~7.1 24/05/12~6.7 14/06/12~6.3 05/07/12~6.0 26/07/12~5.7 17/08/12~5.5 ALSO ON 1MG XANAX Link to comment
stan Posted April 8, 2011 Author Share Posted April 8, 2011 a day of s..t! Yesterday morning and afternoon were tough but as usual, I had an appointment at the cardiologist for a classic EKG, so I did my daily walk (only 7 streets totally because my shortness of breath, chest pain force me to regularly rest) it was very hard compared to other days at 7 pm i go to the cardiologist to check my heart (i checked already one year ago but as i have severe shortness of breath and heavy chest pains) to go was hard, maybe more emotions levels too high, i had worse to stand; the EKG was fine (stress test at next 5 may) when I left at 9 pm, my god, I could not move 10 steps without having to stop, chest pain, terror, derealization a little, very vulnerable, agoraphobia ...(90 years old) I came back somehow (I live 5 streets away) what a crappy day ! hope today will be better !!! damn withdrawal ! for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
Neuroplastic Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Hang in there bravely, Stan! Just a little bit more! I'm absolutely certain that this EKG and your appointment with the cardiologist deepened your wave. When under stress, the whole system goes awry. Wait it out - it will correct itself. With every day you're nearing the healing. 2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression 2008 - Paxil c/t Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once” Albert Einstein "Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!" Surviving Antidepressants And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking. Link to comment
Healing Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Hang in there bravely, Stan! Just a little bit more! I'm absolutely certain that this EKG and your appointment with the cardiologist deepened your wave. When under stress, the whole system goes awry. Wait it out - it will correct itself. With every day you're nearing the healing. Absolutely. It is so frustrating, stan! I am glad you told us about it. Sending soothing energy.... 1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so... 1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so... 2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so... Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly Link to comment
summer Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Really sorry you had such a difficult day, Stan. I do think the stress of going to the doctor had a lot to do with it. Soon as the tests results come back, you'll be fine... even better than before. When I'm stressed out, for whatever reason, everything seems worse. Hang in there... sending many hugs to you! Charter Member 2011 Link to comment
stan Posted May 5, 2011 Author Share Posted May 5, 2011 25 months off: hello all, i waited to have my effort heart test today 5 may, to make an update the test was ok i am much better than a month ago actually i deal with : - balance standing still a big problem maybe a tiny improvement - some strange pain in both eyes (it is new) - not too strong, little weak, - something muscle bottom right ribcage - right shoulder as in fire sometime - many little symptoms which were hard before (dizzy ... pain sometime bladder, bowel which come and go)) what has much better improved near 60/70 % : inner ribcage pain muscles,anxiety, pseudo agoraphobia, shortness of breath i know all this will come back , maybe less intense i hope am i in a partial window ? i have to say i feel much better and walk better in my town, but still have problem globally i feel much better as a month ago for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 5, 2011 Administrator Share Posted May 5, 2011 stan, that is great to hear. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Hopeful Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 So good to hear, Stan. Began Paxil 10/97* Paxil free 10/16/04 (tapered over 2.5 months) Severe withdrawal 12/04 started Lexapro due to Paxil w/d symptoms (tapered over 4 months) Lexapro free 8/2/05 2 1/2 year severe protracted withdrawal Doing well now with a few residual symptoms Link to comment
Neuroplastic Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Yeah! I'm so happy for you, Stan! You've been improving, my friend. Thank you so much for this great update! PS So great to hear about the good results of your medical test, too. 2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression 2008 - Paxil c/t Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once” Albert Einstein "Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!" Surviving Antidepressants And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking. Link to comment
Healing Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I have improved more rapidly since I started working on SA a few weeks ago. I am still not a normal person, but the improvement is noticeable. Maybe that is part of what is happening with you? 1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so... 1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so... 2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so... Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly Link to comment
summer Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Very happy to hear about the good test results, and that you are improving every day! xo Charter Member 2011 Link to comment
Punarbhava Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Oh Stan, SO VERY HAPPY to hear your test results came back good! You must be relieved! Also, congrats on the improvements made in your recovery. All will be fine. In fact, many times, at a certain point in WD, symptoms can start to drop off quickly and dramatically. You've come this far..............the hardest part is now behind you! Things will be easier to endure now. Much More Beautiful Healing to You! Pun To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall) Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still. (Chinese Proverb) I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?" Link to comment
stan Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 26 months off outdoor i have derealization, vision trouble focus, chest pain from a chemical anxiety when walk, cannot walk more than 5 streets, in grocery am overhelmed, derealized, emotional overhelmed, standing balance difficult, little less shortness of breath, motor coordination, at home, ribcage pains like inflammations, bowels like tense inflammations, eyes dry, back pain, difficult to rest with back, spinal and shoulders as in fire,inner trembling at night , today slept one hour, gougerot dry mouth (very scary), eyes pain although i take artificial tears,nocturia,back muscles pain, trembling and i forget many little symptoms bearable, i feel i am much worse than last month i knew it will be hard in my age and years taken , but i do not imagine so harder and i do not know tomorrow for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
summer Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 i knew it will be hard in my age and years taken , but i do not imagine so harder and i do not know tomorrow Stan... I don't feel well today either, but that doesn't mean I won't feel better tomorrow. A little positivity goes a long way! Hugs Charter Member 2011 Link to comment
Neuroplastic Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Thanks for the update, Stan. So sorry to read about your symptoms. But I also clearly remember the windows you had, and those will be back. You're incredibly brave, and you've also put so much work in helping others. The improvement is just a matter of time. Just a little bit more. I can't wait your posting about the window! 2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression 2008 - Paxil c/t Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once” Albert Einstein "Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!" Surviving Antidepressants And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking. Link to comment
Hopeful Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 26 months off outdoor i have derealization, vision trouble focus, chest pain from a chemical anxiety when walk, cannot walk more than 5 streets, in grocery am overhelmed, derealized, emotional overhelmed, standing balance difficult, little less shortness of breath, motor coordination, Stan, I just wanted to relay a story to you: at two years off a new grocery store opened in my neighborhood. It was very large (one of those stores...if they don't have it you don't need it) My husband and kids kept wanting me to try and go with them because they knew it was a store I would love. After it was open for about two weeks I agreed to go. The derealization and over stimulation was over the top. I had to walk by holding onto the grocery cart and just walk up and down the isles holding on. My husband later told me he could tell I was disoriented. Anyway, I'm back to shopping by myself now and all those symptoms are gone. I give you a lot of credit for walking the five blocks alone. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Began Paxil 10/97* Paxil free 10/16/04 (tapered over 2.5 months) Severe withdrawal 12/04 started Lexapro due to Paxil w/d symptoms (tapered over 4 months) Lexapro free 8/2/05 2 1/2 year severe protracted withdrawal Doing well now with a few residual symptoms Link to comment
Healing Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 O, mon ami, I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time. You definitely sounded better a month ago. As Buxy said, that variation proves that healing is happening. You are evidently in a wave. Many people find that each wave ends and leaves them better than before. I am sending you extra healing wishes. 1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so... 1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so... 2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so... Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 15, 2011 Administrator Share Posted June 15, 2011 stan -- I just posted this pointer about Epsom salts bath and thought of you, maybe this can help the muscle tightness, pain, and sleep: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/page__view__findpost__p__5627 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
stan Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 30 months off hi, actually: the worse is akathisia standing, and global kind of akathisia mental nervousness; - walking outdoor:chest pain after maybe 40 steps - derealization - akathisia standing - dizzy from time to time - globally back,spinal,chest, legs mild pains - at night dry mouth,eyes,nocturia,maybe mild akathisia all these symptoms fluctuate from severe to mild More time passes, more i am feeling that akathisia seem to play the most big part in my body suffering i am waiting 31 months mark for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 14, 2011 Administrator Share Posted October 14, 2011 Oh, stan, you have been so brave for so long. Hang in there, we're with you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Bukowski Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Hi Stan How about the chest pain if you walk inside ? If it's not there, it's anxiety and you dont have to worry. I also have chest pain, for me it's all related to anxiety, which properly is the most common symptom in wd and it can make a lot of weird things to our body Congrats on 30 month off, you are a very brave man Stan Best S (hank jr on pp) Link to comment
stan Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 hi Bukowski, i have to walk 30/40 steps, and inside i never walk so much but never had it inside or very very mild sometimes; i think it is anxiety related, you are right; shortness of breath seems to be gone away, withdrawal duration is very long, thanks for kindness and wish you be better for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
stan Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 33 months off hi all my friends, i have: - ribcage, spinal, shoulders pain and itching - chest pain when walk - akathisia standing - derealization - dry mouth eyes and nocturia night - off balance - blurry eyes morning - photosensitivity - perceptual disturbances and distortions - weakness - muscular rigidity when walk - poor concentration - vertigo - excitability - memory impairment - ataxia - fatigue - lack of concentration - arms pain - emotional some of these symptoms have much decreased but are still here; no anxiety apparently; i have entered a new phase, i suffer less since a while and feel subtle improvments; waves are really short, in a day a symptom can be high and later mild As i said, i feel i am improving every day; but it will last months and months globally, i am very much better actually, suffer very less... time and patience for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted December 23, 2011 Administrator Share Posted December 23, 2011 stan, I am so happy and relieved to see that. A very happy holiday season to you, my friend, and warmest wishes of healing for the new year. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Maybe Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I was just about to ask how you are doing, Stan, as you haven't posted anything in quite a while. I am very happy that you experiencing improvements! As for the cycling of the symptoms, I am in the same boat and it is very weird. Happy holidays and much more healing to you Stan End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in. Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left. Link to comment
angie007 Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Hey Stan, So happy to hear your suffering less, Keep going buddy, your doing a brilliant job, and i feel your well on the way to recovery now, good work buddy. Merry Xmas to you, and May 2012 be the yr you recover x Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011. Link to comment
Bukowski Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 That was great to hear Stan .. Happy New year and keep improving Link to comment
Claudius Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 You are on the right track Stan, our suffering is immense and inhuman but we will prevail. Good to read that you experience some major improvements. Wish you all the best and more healing in 2012! 10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002 several attempts to quit since 2004 Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again! Link to comment
Lor95 Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Stan, Your post has really made my day. I am so, so happy for you my friend. xxxx Paxil 20mg 1995 for panic disorder/anxiety. 3 attempts to w/d c/t. Horrific w/d hit after 1 month each time. Straight back to 20mg. 2003-2007: 30mg. 30mg to 20mg slowly over 2007. 20mg to 15mg (liquid) (Jan 2009) - big problems, back up to 20mg (pill) immediately. Recovered slowly. 20mg to 15mg (liquid) (Dec to Feb 2010) - suicidal. Back to 20mg May 2010, could not stabilise. Dec 2010 to 31/01/2012: 20mg~9.6mg in tiny drops. 21/02/12~9.0 08/03/12~8.4 22/03/12~7.9 12/04/12~7.5 03/05/12~7.1 24/05/12~6.7 14/06/12~6.3 05/07/12~6.0 26/07/12~5.7 17/08/12~5.5 ALSO ON 1MG XANAX Link to comment
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