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uncomfortablynumb

uncomfortablynumb: withdrawal symptoms or anxiety / depression

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Songbird

When I hadn't been able to sleep for a whole week, I used a sleep hypnosis CD - it worked, but I woke up when it finished, so I would just play it again and again to get through the night.  The one I used was "Achieving Perfect Sleep" by Dr. Hilary Jones.  There are lots of these kinds of recordings available, on YouTube, etc.

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uncomfortablynumb

The sleep deprivation became too much.  I broke and took 3.75mg of Remeron.   Worked first night.  Then no sleep the second.  I don't know what to do now.  Feels like this is going to kill me.  

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uncomfortablynumb

This is the second time I reinstated Remeron in the past month.  First time I started with 7.5mg and slept 8hrs first night and not at all next 3. Upped to 15mg and slept first night and not the next three.  Stopped it and pretty much only slept once in two weeks.  Was desperate so took 3.75mg two nights ago. Same thing happened.  Slept 8hrs first night and none at all the second.  

 

Anyone know what is happening?  What do I do now?  Should I be stopping and hope I survive the severe sleep deprivation?  

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Mirthazard

Perhaps a strange or unique case of ultra fast tolerance? On the other hand you slept 8 hour straight and after 24 hours your brain didnt respond the same way, but then your brain seemed to reach a baseline again, even if you didnt sleep for days, but it worked again. A tought quest you have to discover how your brain is playing with you.

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Songbird

Have you tried relaxation exercises or sleep hypnosis recordings?

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WiggleIt
12 hours ago, uncomfortablynumb said:

The sleep deprivation became too much.  I broke and took 3.75mg of Remeron.   Worked first night.  Then no sleep the second.  I don't know what to do now.  Feels like this is going to kill me.  

 

Are you still doing the Remeron or did you just do it those first and second nights?

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uncomfortablynumb

I took it for the third night.  May have gotten 30m to an hour sleep.  Do I stick with it or quit?

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Songbird
9 hours ago, uncomfortablynumb said:

I took it for the third night.  May have gotten 30m to an hour sleep.  Do I stick with it or quit?

 

It doesn't sound like it's helping much.  

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Altostrata

UN, what was your sleep pattern? When did you take 3.75mg mirtazapine, when did you sleep, and when did you wake up? What happened to make you wake up?

 

It sounds to me like a paradoxical reaction. You might try 3mg mirtazapine, you need to find a low enough dose to sneak under your hypervigilant nervous system.

 

Also, did you try Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep  or even leave the TV on at a very low volume? (The latter is risky because of explosions and loud commercials.)

 

PS Post questions about your particular situation here in your Intro topic, we need to see the context.

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uncomfortablynumb

Hi Alto,

I am guessing the same with the paradoxical reaction.  It didn't even work at 3mg.  I then did something potentially stupid but further proves that drugs are going paradoxical on me.  I took Ativan for the first time in 2yrs.  It did nothing.  So it seems like I am at a dead end.  I am at God's mercy and the insomnia will either kill me or damage my brain or I will somehow survive. 

 

I go to sleep between 10 and 12. Was taking the mirt 30m before bed.  First time it worked and I was asleep within an hour.  Next time no sleep.  Third time up to 1hr between 6 and 7.  I stay in bed til 11am to rest because I am not working right now.

 

I could never sleep with any lights or noise when healthy or in withdrawal.

 

This is all a nightmare with no emotions, blank mind, dp/dr, memory problems, and head pain.  7 months of this and hope fades.  

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Gridley
32 minutes ago, uncomfortablynumb said:

the insomnia

 

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.  I imagine you've tried just about everything but just in case--I've had some success sleeping with a low dose of Melatonin before bed taken with a low dose of magnesium glycinate.  You might start with .25mg Melatonin and work up if necessary to maybe 1mg (higher doses can go paradoxical).  When I wake up a few hours later I take more magnesium.

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Altostrata

Gridley's suggestion is a good one. Also. get off the computer by 6 p.m.

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uncomfortablynumb

Thanks.  I am gonna hang on as tight as I can and try any advice.  I will turn off electronics early.  I sometimes use the blue blocking glasses without much help.  

@Alto, you see my symptoms list is pretty brutal. Do you know of anyone who has experienced all of these and recovered?  Particularly the emotions and blank mind and super-severe insomnia?  

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Altostrata

It appears you kindled your nervous system with alcohol or some other drug.

 

How much Ativan did you take? Do you have only a few tablets? What is your doctor's policy on refilling the prescription?

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uncomfortablynumb

Hi Alto, 

I took 2mg of Ativan.  It was the last dose that worked when I took it almost 2yrs ago.  I was prescribed 20 1mg tablets.  I don't know my doctor's policy on refilling.  

 

Do you know of recovery cases of what I am going through?  

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RichT

Hi Uncomfortably Numb,

 

I am sorry to hear you’re suffering so badly.

 

I don’t know if you have heard of CBTI, which is cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia? It might be something you could consider. It is backed up by evidence, if you want to see the evidence you could read this:-

 

https://www.med.upenn.edu/cbti/assets/user-content/documents/Morin et al. 2017 Meta-Analysis.pdf

 

I hope that, whatever you try, you recover soon. 

 

R

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uncomfortablynumb

Thanks for trying to help.  I tried CBT last time I dealt with this without success.  I am so anxious and worn down.  I don't know how to keep going on completely sleepless nights.  

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uncomfortablynumb

How long can complete sleep deprivation last?  

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Mirthazard

For how long are you deprived since last dose?

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uncomfortablynumb

It has been like 10 days straight with no perceived sleep.  It is no way to live. 

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Mirthazard

When you had this problem a year ago, for how long were you in this ups and crashes before suddenly being ok with sleep again? A month? Two month? Three? More?

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uncomfortablynumb

It was around 4 months of Hell once off meds.  First month I only had 2 nights of no more than two hour sleep.   

This time around sleep has been very rare in past 4 months.  I mucked around with trying the mirtazapine several times over past while.   

I am already completely drained and can't function.  I don't know what to do. 

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RichT

Hi Uncomfortably Numb,

 

what you’re going through sounds almost unbearable. I hope you get some relief soon.

 

I noticed that your symptoms ramped up in October last year. Is it possible that one of the triggers was the coming of winter? I don’t you know if you are sensitive to the weather, but a lot of people are, including me.

 

R

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Mirthazard

And now did you reach or are post the 4 months mark? Trying to find a pattern here

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uncomfortablynumb

It has been over 4 months now.  But I desperately tried meds over this time.  

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Mirthazard

It might be a good idea checking with a neurologist specializing in sleep. You seem to have tried many things without success. You can be frontal and open with him and say you recovered sleep without drugs and suddenly you developed this sleep deprivation again, and mention what you may think that trigger it. Be honest to him, them about drugs and ask what can you do to check what is going on with your brain. They might give you help or not, but at least you are trying, you have nothing to loose, the decision on what to do is always yours, but since your are waiting that sleep comes and drugs are not working, why not give doctor neurologist a try again? Psychiatrists on the other hand wont help you, unless you want drugs. And remember whatever he advises or says it is always you who decides what to do ok? Research and keep trying man.

 

I found this in you area do you know it?

 

https://sunnybrook.ca/content/?page=bsp-sleep-home

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ratemds.com/amp/best-doctors/%3fprovince=on&specialty=sleep-disorders

 

https://css-scs.ca/

 

http://www.sleepontario.com/doctor_ong.php

 

 

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India
On 5/5/2019 at 8:19 PM, uncomfortablynumb said:

Hi Alto,

I am guessing the same with the paradoxical reaction.  It didn't even work at 3mg.  I then did something potentially stupid but further proves that drugs are going paradoxical on me.  I took Ativan for the first time in 2yrs.  It did nothing.  So it seems like I am at a dead end.  I am at God's mercy and the insomnia will either kill me or damage my brain or I will somehow survive. 

 

I go to sleep between 10 and 12. Was taking the mirt 30m before bed.  First time it worked and I was asleep within an hour.  Next time no sleep.  Third time up to 1hr between 6 and 7.  I stay in bed til 11am to rest because I am not working right now.

 

I could never sleep with any lights or noise when healthy or in withdrawal.

 

This is all a nightmare with no emotions, blank mind, dp/dr, memory problems, and head pain.  7 months of this and hope fades.  

Passiflora helped me at certain points . Everyone is different, I know. 

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uncomfortablynumb

Mirthazard - thanks for those sleep clinic links.  I had a study done at another clinic last time I was going through Hell.  Had over 30 arousals every hour so basically not getting anything past microsleep or stage 1.  Getting a referral for a sleep study at that hospital would take months and months.  

This deprivation is driving me to my limits and my head pressure is insane. When I say zero sleep I mean it. How can one even survive this?   

 

India - haven't tried passionflower.  Does it work on extreme insomnia?  

 

Songbird - thank you for sharing your tips. I have tried guided meditation and progressive muscle relaxation.  I am sure it can help people but it never worked for me.  :( Really scared.  

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Mirthazard

I did not meant only a sleep study, but simply get professional opinion of what could be going on. There are other problems they can find. MRI? Just a thought.

 

 

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uncomfortablynumb

Would love to know what is going on.  CT scan didn't reveal anything.  Wonder if MRI or EEG would explain why I cannot fall asleep at all and why I lost my emotions and have a blank mind.  Doc thinks depression and anxiety is causing all this stuff.  These symptoms I have experienced after meds so I don't know.  Hard to believe depression or anxiety could cause extreme sleep deprivation.  

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Mirthazard

If you tried meds for anxiety, how could it be anxiety? I would ask, Right? Did you ask him that?

 

Could it be that you are having sleep and not being aware of it? I saw a post on benzobuddies about that, that it might be possible you are sleeping without perceving it?  Did you look at the watch to sometimes check if suddenly it seems there was a large difference in the ammount  of time that passed between closing and opening the eyes?

 

 

 

 

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uncomfortablynumb

Yeah,  even though I am anxious and depressed I am not sure if that is causing the insomnia, DP/DR, blank mind, no emotions etc.  Hard to prove what is happening.  I really want to know if people recover from these symptoms.  If not, quality of life is almost 0.  Add no sleep to that and it is truly Hell. 

I figure I must be getting microsleep or I would be dead by now.  

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Mirthazard

Did you crashed last days?

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lalala
On 5/17/2019 at 2:43 AM, uncomfortablynumb said:

Yeah,  even though I am anxious and depressed I am not sure if that is causing the insomnia, DP/DR, blank mind, no emotions etc.  Hard to prove what is happening.  I really want to know if people recover from these symptoms.  If not, quality of life is almost 0.  Add no sleep to that and it is truly Hell. 

I figure I must be getting microsleep or I would be dead by now.  

Hi I'm sorry you are going through this, I don't understand you CT Avitan? But you didn't take it everyday

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uncomfortablynumb

I was taking Ativan once a week then up to twice on for the insomnia caused by withdrawal from other meds.  Living on microsleeps now.  Please somebody let me know if people recover from these symptoms.

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