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Happy2Heal

oh JC you're going to do fine!!

don't worry!

 

I heard something interesting recently-  a Ted talk or some such thing. The talk was about how anxiety and excitement light up the same places in your brain and feel very similar,  if not identical

 

so instead of saying, oh I'm so anxious, just say, oh this is going to be exciting!! and it is. :)

 

 

I've been trying to reframe things for myself this way lately-  anytime I'm going to try something new, I remind myself about how exciting it is, rather than how worried I am that I won't be any good or that I'll make a fool of myself. so what if I do? at least I tried and no one expects you to be perfect on your first day.  

 

you have a lot to be proud of, just putting yourself out there and doing this.

 

 

if you feel you need to "take something" ~~ take with your our support and love and belief in you!!

 take the confidence that you are strong and have made it thru some trying times and come out on the other side, you are a force to be reckoned with!

 

 

you got this!  :)
 

 

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Junglechicken
1 hour ago, Happy2Heal said:

oh JC you're going to do fine!!

don't worry!

 

I heard something interesting recently-  a Ted talk or some such thing. The talk was about how anxiety and excitement light up the same places in your brain and feel very similar,  if not identical

 

so instead of saying, oh I'm so anxious, just say, oh this is going to be exciting!! and it is. :)

 

 

I've been trying to reframe things for myself this way lately-  anytime I'm going to try something new, I remind myself about how exciting it is, rather than how worried I am that I won't be any good or that I'll make a fool of myself. so what if I do? at least I tried and no one expects you to be perfect on your first day.  

 

you have a lot to be proud of, just putting yourself out there and doing this.

 

 

if you feel you need to "take something" ~~ take with your our support and love and belief in you!!

 take the confidence that you are strong and have made it thru some trying times and come out on the other side, you are a force to be reckoned with!

 

 

you got this!  :)
 

 

 

Thank you H2H, more wise words!

 

I guess I feel like a semi-ferrel animal being brought back into captivity again?? I know that sounds "out there", but the "wild" has been my crazy life this past decade, and now I'm returning to civilization from the wilderness.

 

It's all pretty overwhelming.

 

 

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Junglechicken

Valerian tea - check.

Aromatherapy roll-on sticks for "ultra relaxation" - check.

L-theanine and lemon balm supplement (twice daily) - check.

 

👍

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Flowers

Ha Ha JC - see you got stocked up then!

 

Hope you have managed to keep a lid on the anxiety over the weekend.

 

Just think this time tomorrow you will have done your first day and be looking forward to the second.

 

Good luck for tomorrow - I will be cheering you on from Spain!

 

Love from Flowers xxx

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Junglechicken
2 minutes ago, Flowers said:

Ha Ha JC - see you got stocked up then!

 

Hope you have managed to keep a lid on the anxiety over the weekend.

 

Just think this time tomorrow you will have done your first day and be looking forward to the second.

 

Good luck for tomorrow - I will be cheering you on from Spain!

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

Thank you Flowers!

 

Cheering me on from Spain is much appreciated 😃

 

Did some walking, house work and have put out the "school uniform" and "satchel", lol.

 

Getting through tomorrow is the biggest goal.  Day by Day, then week by week etc.,

 

Love and hugs,

JC xxx

 

 

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Flowers

Hi JC

 

Hope you can get on here tonight to let us know how you got on if you are not too tired.

 

Hope it went well.

 

Love Flowers xxx

 

 

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Junglechicken
Just now, Flowers said:

Hi JC

 

Hope you can get on here tonight to let us know how you got on if you are not too tired.

 

Hope it went well.

 

Love Flowers xxx

 

 

 

Hi Flowers,

 

Thank you so much for thinking of me .....

 

First day not too bad, fortunately most of it was spent off-site!  Then of course teething problems with bloody computers 🤨

 

Yes, I survived!! That is the main thing.

 

Can't say I'm happy to be back in an office, but working again is good.

 

Love JC xxx

 

 

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Flowers

Well Done! Hope it just gets better and better but do look after yourself and don't get too tired.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

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Junglechicken
53 minutes ago, Flowers said:

Well Done! Hope it just gets better and better but do look after yourself and don't get too tired.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

 

Flowers,

 

I'm not busting a gut for any job!

 

We don't get paid overtime, so it's not worth it.  Just have to get very efficient.

 

Also need to make sure I get daily walks in, but difficult as it gets dark early.  Next wk I'm going to get the train which involves a good half HR walk each way.

 

Love JC xxx

 

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Junglechicken

Oh well, that was short-lived.

 

Turns out I am busting a gut, as I am juggling too many priorities not too ☹️

 

The other thing is the commute.....x3/wk going by train with a half hr walk back home (which is good), and x2/week driving in due to site visits.

 

Also try to walk at lunchtime.

 

 

 

 

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Flowers

Are you OK JC? Didn't understand your post really but am in a wave just now!

 

Do you mean your well being is being compromised by your new regime?

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

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Junglechicken
32 minutes ago, Flowers said:

Are you OK JC? Didn't understand your post really but am in a wave just now!

 

Do you mean your well being is being compromised by your new regime?

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

 

Im OK Flowers, just totally flat-out.  How my life has changed in the space of a week!

 

Managing £11M of small projects.

 

Keeping a lid on the anxiety by CBT and exercise......my "toolbox" to survival in the "real world".

 

So what's going on with your wave?  What symptoms etc.,?  I know they are grim and go on and on.

 

JC xxx

 

 

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Flowers

My goodness! Some responsibility you have there! I hope you are enjoying being out in the workplace again.

 

I am having some problems with the benzo I was put on last year. Shep is helping me over on the benzo page. I am spacing my doses out over the day to see if it helps.  

 

I was actually in a window for all summer which was lovely. Still waiting to have my gall bladder out. Just came to light the last couple of weeks that the hospital made an error and they never did the right scans for the op so it is back to square one.  What a waste of 6 months since I was diagnosed  with gall stones. I think the stress of it hasn't helped to be honest. 

 

Same old symptoms really - crippling anxiety,  nausea, loss of appetite, shaking, muscle pain, heart palps etc etc etc!  Hope it will settle down soon. I had a terrible time with my Dr yesterday. I only went to ask for smaller tablets and  it led to him  trying to  force even more drugs on me which I will not be taking. The anxiety from that has floored me yesterday and today. 

 

I have found something new today to try. Body  scan meditation.  It takes about 30 mins but does seem to help me relax.  It makes a change from the progressive muscle relaxing I do. My legs are a bit wobbly but would love to have a walk out. Been belting down with rain for 5 days now and our track up the mountain is a mud bath!

 

Good job we have our tool kits!!!

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sheera

@Junglechicken thinking about you as you went back to work. Schedule changes are always hard—it looks like you’re keeping a very good perspective. 

Hugs—Sheera 

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Junglechicken

Apologies for not replying to everyone's kind messages.

 

Was flat-out over the weekend (didn't come up for air), and flat-out once again at work.

 

Will respond properly as soon as possible.  

 

Really sorry that you're suffering Flowers.

 

JC xxx

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Junglechicken

Strange pain in lower abdomen right side (this time).

 

Was wearing very tight (elastic waistband) leggings which are smart for work, and now have this kind of burning sensation/pain.  Have never had it before, and hope its because of those pants (which I DIDN'T wear today.

 

Trying not to let HA get the better of me, but its either IBS or "something else".

 

Have booked GP appointment for Sat 15th Dec, and hope it has gone by then.

 

😕

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Rosetta

So amazing that you can work!  Inspiring.

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Junglechicken
15 hours ago, Rosetta said:

So amazing that you can work!  Inspiring.

 

Oh I wish, lol!

 

Thanks Rosetta....however, not having a good time of it.

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Rosetta

I'm sorry you are struggling.  I know the up and down is rough.  (Do I ever.)  Hang in there.  You'll be better soon.

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Junglechicken

Ears feel "full" as if inner ear pressure.

 

Now they are painful, and it's a horrible feeling.

 

Is this an ear infection, as it's in both ears?

 

Had a very stressful day, 1.5 hrs late to site visit 😣 as messed up directions. 

 

As it turned out I was only a few hundred metres from the entrance.

 

Returned to office afterwards and put in 4hrs work.

 

 

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apace41
16 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

Is this an ear infection, as it's in both ears?

 

Hi, JC.  Happy you got the job and you have been able to get started.

 

You remind me so much of me.  For some reason, some of us are unable or unwilling to acknowledge the effect that stress has on the central nervous system and are hellbent on finding an organic "cause" for our symptoms.

 

Interestingly, I can see it in you and can't see it in me (when it is happening). 

 

You (fairly rapidly) withdrew from a psych medication and started a new job.  The intense bodily stress from either of those would be sufficient to cause all of your symptoms.  There does not need to be more to the equation than that.  The inward focus that comes from us weighing all the options and ruminating about them leads to and exacerbates health anxiety.

 

I wouldn't be so direct except that it's kind of like I'm speaking to myself and self-compassion is not something I do well.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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Junglechicken
1 minute ago, apace41 said:

 

Hi, JC.  Happy you got the job and you have been able to get started.

 

You remind me so much of me.  For some reason, some of us are unable or unwilling to acknowledge the effect that stress has on the central nervous system and are hellbent on finding an organic "cause" for our symptoms.

 

Interestingly, I can see it in you and can't see it in me (when it is happening). 

 

You (fairly rapidly) withdrew from a psych medication and started a new job.  The intense bodily stress from either of those would be sufficient to cause all of your symptoms.  There does not need to be more to the equation than that.  The inward focus that comes from us weighing all the options and ruminating about them leads to and exacerbates health anxiety.

 

I wouldn't be so direct except that it's kind of like I'm speaking to myself and self-compassion is not something I do well.

 

Best,

 

Andy

 

Andy,

 

I know, lol!

 

I just called a free NHS service (out of hrs) who confirmed ear infection (both ears).

 

Unfortunately I have a stressful job which then fuels my HA......

 

Survived today but need to get to a chemist as inner ears very painful ☹️. Need to treat them.

 

I'm working on the HA (CBT), but it's got a pretty strong hold on me.

 

Ughhh!

 

Thank you for replying, it's always appreciated.

 

Best,

JC

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Junglechicken

Have got "swimmers ear" which is eczema in the ear which then gets infected...…….

 

Also, have a benign "fibroid" in the womb which should go away when "the change" is done.

 

Saw a lovely GP who couldn't have been nicer.

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Junglechicken

Flat out, going 100 miles an hr …..

 

Have a very short fuse, got angry with my hubby because (he drives me nuts sometimes).

 

Pissed off because company I work for expects "everything" and does "Jack" in return i.e. still waiting for laptop and phone.

 

At the end of my tether, and its only the start of Wk 3.

 

God help me...……..

 

😡

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Sheera

@Junglechicken there are so many positives to what you are doing right now—starting a job is never easy and you’re doing it in WD. Don’t forget to give yourself that grace—you deserve it!!  It’s okay to sit like a pile at home until you get used to the new schedule. 😊 once you get used to all of it, I promise it will be easier to manage. Hugs to you for being courageous and brave!!

 

Sheera 

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DMV64

It is AMAZING to me you have started a new job in WD! Wow.

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Junglechicken

Thank you DMV and Sheera,

 

Every day feels like I'm jumping off a cliff out of my comfort zone.....and I'm adept at "pretending" I'm "normal", if you know what I mean?!

 

Today I pulled a rabbit out of the hat, and produced a 14 slide presentation for my Manager to review.  I have to present in front of a large group of Stakeholders on Thursday morning (yippee).

 

Had a bad row with my hubby last night (despite walking 7k a day to/from our nearest train station and from the station to the office), I still have a LOT of excess nervous tension, frustration (because little projects just get left around the house).

 

Its really bad, I apologised to him this morning, but I boil over very easily 😕

 

The show has to go on...……..

 

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Sheera

Ooooooh the pretending or as I call it “fake it till you make it!”  I hope your presentation went well. That’s quite a big deal to pull a project like that together. I don’t imagine you could’ve done that awhile back. 🙌🏼

 

Sheera 

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FarmGirlWorks
On 12/4/2018 at 9:22 AM, Junglechicken said:

Today I pulled a rabbit out of the hat, and produced a 14 slide presentation for my Manager to review.  I have to present in front of a large group of Stakeholders on Thursday morning (yippee).

That is totally inspiring, @Junglechicken... way to go.

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Junglechicken

Thank you Sheera and FGW,

 

Yes, work is going well and I'm gaining control of the workload etc.,

 

However, the angry outburst at my hubby a few days ago was so bad (aggressive), he told me it made him feel physically sick ☹️  he said if our spare room had been ready he would have spent the night in there.

 

This was due to a combination of hormones, work stress and WD.  My period arrived today at 27 days into my cycle. 

 

We are in dire need of marriage counselling.

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Flowers

Hi JC

 

You are doing so well in your new job.  We always seem to carry out things on our nearest and dearest!  You have a new hectic schedule to get used to and it seems like you are coping very well.  

 

All this probably takes priority at the moment as you settle in. Sorry about your big row. Just make time to enjoy each other's company when you can. You have apologised and learnt from it.  

 

Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend together.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

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Junglechicken
On 12/7/2018 at 6:23 PM, Flowers said:

Hi JC

 

You are doing so well in your new job.  We always seem to carry out things on our nearest and dearest!  You have a new hectic schedule to get used to and it seems like you are coping very well.  

 

All this probably takes priority at the moment as you settle in. Sorry about your big row. Just make time to enjoy each other's company when you can. You have apologised and learnt from it.  

 

Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend together.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Flowers, that's really kind of you to say so.

 

My period arrived on Friday, so my angry outburst was definitely hormonal.  However, it's not great that I affected my hubby that badly.

 

We are battling on as best we can.  I am working on my CBT and focusing on my job very intensely.  Hubby with his "stuff".

 

Although I'm (on the surface of it I'm coping well with the job), my body clearly isnt.  Struggling with my most recent symptom 🤔 It  seems to be a kind of IBS / burning pain in my lower right abdomen, caused (I think), by wearing over-tight work pants which have a very tight wide elastic waist band.  The last time I wore them, triggered the same burning pain.

 

Needless to say, thoughts of cancer, ulcer or autoimmune disease go through my head.

 

Seeing my GP on Saturday for peace of mind.

 

Yesterday, we met up with a group of my hubby's friends in memorial to a childhood friend of his who died in sept.  Everyone remained as jolly as possible, and his late friend's wife was very brave throughout.

 

Hope you're ok Flowers, and able to enjoy the winter sun?

 

Love and hugs,

JC xxx

 

 

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Junglechicken

Waiting for an NHS 111 call back re: my right side burning pain ☹️

 

Please God it isn't something serious (my HA brain talking), my sane brain is trying to calm me down.

 

Anyone else experienced these symptoms?

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apace41
1 minute ago, Junglechicken said:

Please God it isn't something serious (my HA brain talking)

 

It's nothing serious, JC.  I'm confident.

 

I've had any number of pains, aches, stabbing, dull, etc. all over the body.  You name the location -- I've had it.

 

Get it checked out if that makes you feel better, but I'm sure it's withdrawal and the hyperstimulation of your CNS.


Best,

 

Andy

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Frogie
1 minute ago, Junglechicken said:

Waiting for an NHS 111 call back re: my right side burning pain ☹️

 

Please God it isn't something serious (my HA brain talking), my sane brain is trying to calm me down.

 

Anyone else experienced these symptoms?

JC:

 

I had a hysterectomy back in 1997. After that, I get pains in my right side. I ALWAYS think it's my appendix. I've had ultrasounds and a CT scan (for something else) and blood work. Everything comes back fine. I have scar tissue. I know how you feel. HA stinks, I have it. But, you just had it checked out didn't you and it was ok? Take a deep breath everything will be fine. It's probably those pants like you said.

 

Let me know.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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Junglechicken
1 minute ago, apace41 said:

 

It's nothing serious, JC.  I'm confident.

 

I've had any number of pains, aches, stabbing, dull, etc. all over the body.  You name the location -- I've had it.

 

Get it checked out if that makes you feel better, but I'm sure it's withdrawal and the hyperstimulation of your CNS.


Best,

 

Andy

 

Bless you Andy, thank you for answering so quickly.

 

I've had numerous pains everywhere too thx to WD etc.,. This burning pain coincides with starting my new job and wearing those pants I mentioned.

 

The NHS triage line of questioning was:

 

Pregnancy / female "issues"

Blood disorders

Fevers

 

They said if it got worse, to call them back.

 

I'm trying not to let my "chimp brain" take over and send me into a tailspin.

 

Best,

JC

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