shelbytrev: Long term Effexor use side effects?

[shelbytrev]

Oh wow, so I was googling Effexor withdrawal symptoms last night and Andrea Yates came up. I guess she was on Effexor and the doctor took her off without tapering. Not what I needed to come up ???? Doesn't help with my intrusive ocd thing at All! I guess they had her on all kinds of other stuff also stopped it and then gave her Effexor and cut her off with no tapering. I know in my mind that she had a lot of other psychosis issues even before the Effexor. I guess it's my luck that article would come up with my google. Now I'm checking myself , to make sure I don't feel like hurting my kids. Of course that's the furthest thing from my mind. Stupid Effexor

[Altostrata]

shelby, to go off psychiatric drugs safely, you have to be in a stable, determined, calm frame of mind. You need to be able to tell withdrawal symptoms from your usual "normal" state.

 

If you have a tendency to make yourself anxious over little things, you need to learn to manage that first. Cognitive behavior therapy is a good technique for this.

 

Otherwise, should you hit bumps while you taper, you can get panicky, make mistakes, and make yourself feel a lot worse.

 

When you go off psychiatric drugs, you will need to manage any underlying psychological symptoms with non-drug means, or you will end up back on drugs.

 

Do you feel you can calm your mind enough to taper systematically?

[JanCarol]

ShelbyTrev, what have you decided to do?

[btdt]

My best tip is to get to a state of deep relaxation no matter how you get there... epson salt baths heat on the spine and this video 

 

First stable then taper... 

 

Pooped out happens when your still taking the drug and get wd symptoms. 

Wd can be delayed and the full effect of a dose change can take 6 wks so don't be fooled by small changes you feel after dropping a bit ...more can be on the way ... time is your friend. 

 

Vitamins can be a mixed bag of hell .. even kid ones take a look at which ones are helpful in wd even fish oil has been bad for some people.. you are unique and what you feel is real no matter what it is.

 

Solid rule change only one thing at a time so you know what is affecting you and wait.. 6 wks or more before changing anything else that includes dropping dose or adding any vitamins. 

individual vitamins are better then the multi for us... some make us worse... Bs were bad for me mag low dose helped but it had to be a tiny dose. 

 

Time is your friend and you own it... use it. 

peace to you

[shelbytrev]

I'm not sure if anyone will read this. So coming off the Effexor the doctors put me on a med merry go round of three other ads and some benzos within a period of two months. Well the Zoloft and Celexa didn't work. Either didn't work or my Effexor witndrawal was not letting them work. So finally I told them to try me on Prozac 10mg to see if that would help me since I had been on it before 9 years ago. I thought maybe it might help stabilize me.

 

Well I tried about 5 weeks and couldn't hang. It was making me think about death and feeling really disconnected. So i weaned off the Prozac. It's been 15 days with no meds. And I haven't taken any benzos. I went through some pretty weird stuff. Depersonalization and intrusive thoughts are my hardest symptoms. The depersonalization is gone for now.

 

I don't get to happy about any symptom going because I know it can come back. Just like the intrusive repetitive thoughts. I thought those were almost gone. Well today has been bad. I keep thinking what if I want to hurt my kids or myself. But overall the physical and mental symptoms have been easing up in such small amounts that sometimes it's hard for me to notice. But then when I read back to when the effexor stopped working I have gotten a smidge better.

 

It's up and down every day. But the last two days my brain actually felt like it did while I was on the Effexor and felt ok. So I'm not sure if that's a good thing. But it was only 2 days I was hoping I was back for good. I tested myself for intrusive thoughts and I just went right on to think of other things and not ruminate. And it was so easy. My brain was quiet somewhat. But today I guess I was back to the anxiety cause the intrusive thoughts of what ifs were bad this morning.

 

When I'm anxious I find my brain talking more and I'm looking for symptoms. I just keep telling myself it's withdrawal. Even though the psychs don't think so. Because I have been off the Effexor for a couple months and now off Prozac for 2 weeks. But I was not like this before starting all the meds. Just had some panic attacks. My therapist thinks it's a good idea to try and manage my anxiety without meds. But now my problem is I'm managing my old anxiety and a whole new list of problems.

 

Knock on wood I have been able to fall asleep fairly easy except right before my period. But sometimes don't feel so rested because of the dreams. But I'm not complaining because before I couldn't sleep at all. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance to ride this out. If it's really me I don't want to suffer needlessly. im just afraid being on the ads for so long changed my chemistry for good. How long do I except these symptoms as withdrawal?

Edited February 1, 2016 by KarenB
added paragraph breaks

[KarenB]

Hey Shelby,

 

It's good to hear from you again.  Lots of changes for you since you last checked in.  It would be very helpful if you put all your details in a signature so we can figure out what's going on - thank you. 

 

Do I have this right?  Since last November you switched from Effexor to to Zoloft, then switched to Celexa, then switched to Prozac 10mg for 5 weeks.  Then 15 days ago you quickly tapered Prozac, and are now on nothing. 

 

I'll wait till I hear if this is right or not before going further.

 

Hope to hear from you soon,

Karen

[shelbytrev]

4 years Prozac 20mg for panic attacks

Approximately 9 years Effexor 75mg after Prozac pooped out

Started having withdrawal on Effexor with no med change

Went off Effexor onto Zoloft 25mg two weeks

Celexa one week

Prozac 5 weeks

Tapered off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg

Currently on nothing

[shelbytrev]

I put a post in that spot you told me to. Not sure if I did it right.

Yes, I was trying to go on Zoloft coming off Effexor. Went from Effexor 37.5mg to 25mg Zoloft.

Tried Celexa for a week turned into a zombie. Tried Zoloft again for a week but it made me crazier.

Then went off Zoloft onto 10 mg of Prozac. Was on that for about 5 weeks. Came off that over 2 weeks. Then another psych wanted to put me on a mood stab. Lamactil. Told me if I don't take that for at least a month don't bother coming back. So I changed psychs. New one wants me to do a liver enzyme test to see why I'm having such a hard time with the Ssri's. In the meantime he told me to stay off meds. I told him I didn't want to go back on but I also need reassurance as to what I'm experiencing is withdrawal. I don't want to suffer needlessly. I also believe I may have gone through some of the worst withdrawal while on the med switches.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear you're doing a little better, shelby.

 

To put your history in your SIGNATURE (that's the small print under a post), open your Settings (see the menu next to your name at the top of this page) and edit your Signature.

[KarenB]

Hey Shelby, thanks for the info and for making a signature. 

 

That was a lot of change in a very short space of time, plus a taper that amounts to a cold-turkey.  Withdrawal symptoms can last for years after such a history.  For that reason I think it would be best if you reinstated something to allow your Central Nervous System to stabilise.  I'm going to get a 2nd opinion from the other mods about a dose. 

 

You've probably read the thread on reinstating and stabilising to relieve withdrawal symptoms, but it may be a good time to have another look.  You can come back to this thread and discuss it with us if that helps. 

 

Karen

[Fresh]

Hi  shelbytrev ,    

" I told him I didn't want to go back on but I also need reassurance as to what I'm experiencing is withdrawal".

 

Yes , all the sensations and mood shifts are from withdrawal , and from the different meds. Your brain is flailing around

as it tries to stabilize.  After so many years on meds  (around 14 years?)  you're at risk of a delayed w/d setting in.

It's not possible to know if the worst is done with yet.   Things will likely continue to change before they finally settle down.

 

bw ,  Fresh

[shelbytrev]

Some people have told me to try reinstating. Like taking 10 beads or so. I'm a little hesitant considering I started having problems before even coming off the Effexor. And now being off for almost 3 months. What if it makes my symptoms worse ? I don't want to have to start all over again if my body reacts badly to taking it again. It seems like when I don't sleep well( lots of dreaming and waking up a couple times a night) that my anxiety is worse the next day and of course makes other problems worse. I also have a habit of waking up every day and checking for stuff, like anxious thoughts or feelings. I'm sure that doesn't help. The physical withdrawal doesn't bother me as much as the mental.

[Altostrata]

What kind of bad reaction did you have while you were taking Effexor?
 
You very much need some help to change your habit of scaring yourself. Read these topics:

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression,...

Free online Cognitive Behavior Therapy lessons

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms..

Redirect: Another way to change cognitive framing

Dr. Rob Purssey's tips about Acceptance and Commitment....
 
Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

OCD: obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors

 

Everyone feels terrible when they don't get enough sleep. See

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have withdrawal insomnia

Guided Meditations, Calming Videos, Sleep Hypnosis

 

 

If you can't find a counselor who will help you learn to manage your tendency to fixate on frightening thoughts, you might learn to calm yourself with meditation. Use search in the Symptoms and Self-care forum  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/to find discussions of meditation.

 

Your psychiatrist wants to order a liver enzyme test because he or she thinks it will indicate which psychiatric drugs are less likely to cause bad reactions for you. Is your intention to go back on psychiatric drugs?
 

[shelbytrev]

I'm not sure if it was the Effexor or if I flipped out because the Effexor just stopped working over time the last couple years and I was grieving and didn't realize it. I really don't want to go back on meds. Any kind of medication. But it would still be nice to take that test for future reference if needed.

 

My therapist and new psych told me I do a lot of it to myself. But it's almost like I feel if I look for the symptoms, (intrusive thoughts mainly ) replay them in my head and if they don't bother me I feel relieved. But I know that's not helping me. But then when I'm anxious or having a bad day and do that I can't control them as easily. Like today my brain has been trying to "check" or think the thoughts but It's been much easier to ignore them.

 

I never had this problem before the medications. I don't even know what "normal" is supposed to feel like anymore I know how I felt while I was on the Effexor. Everything just felt sped up. So I had no time to "think or pay attention to my inner voice ".

 

But looking back it also feels like the last 9 years of my life went by sooo fast. That could just be how everyone feels though. Like I said I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I do know my days feel different , (that could be the anxiety). If I try hard enough I could probably have really bad anxiety but luckily I have been able to redirect long enough that it doesn't go to a full blown panic attack. That's what makes it hard to tell what I'm causing and what the withdrawals are causing.

 

I didn't realize all the problems grief can cause for a person either so instead of nurturing that I tried to fight it and freaked out even more , thinking my anxiety was coming back. Either way I came off. In an odd way I'm kinda glad that this happened, otherwise I would have just kept taking the Effexor. I should have been taken off years ago. But I should have also been having therapy learning how to deal with my anxiety. Now learning staying on can cause depression if taken long term. With I never got on them for that and I don't want to make myself worse than I started out permanently. Which I hope hasn't already happened. I just look at it like it's almost like my sisters who are recovering drug addicts. It took them years to heal. Unfortunately only one is still recovered. Anyways, I will look into those links you posted , thank you.

Edited May 17, 2016 by JanCarol
paragraph breaks for clarity

[shelbytrev]

But this didn't all start till a couple months after the death and then coming off the Effexor I think has just kept it going. I was thinking my body started to reject the Effexor. But now I'm not sure anymore

[SquirrellyGirl]

Hi Shelbytrev, 

 

It's probably way too far after the fact, but I am wondering if there was a change in brand of ven back when the trouble began.  For you to start having withdrawal type symptoms while on the same dose just strikes me as odd.  If you had your scripts filled at the same pharmacy, it might be interesting to ask if there was a change in brand.  I've heard of people having such troubles with a switch.  I've even heard reports of people passing the little beads undigested!  I know you aren't on it anymore, but just wondering if this might be a piece of the puzzle.  Doesn't matter for the moment now that you are off altogether.

 

You said:

But it's almost like I feel if I look for the symptoms, (intrusive thoughts mainly ) replay them in my head and if they don't bother me I feel relieved.

 

That seems like a form of trying to control, but when the answer isn't a good one, it causes you lots of anxiety.  I have found it helpful to surf around such links as Alto gave you when feeling agitated and anxious.  Rather than engage in the thoughts, reach for the computer and click on one of those links.  Redirect the energy towards learning something that will help you.  All of these things require work and repetition to take hold, but are so worth it.  I think I will peruse those links myself!

 

SG

[shelbytrev]

I was getting my meds through Pfizer at the time through a low income program they have. They would send the 3 month supply to my doctor. It was still th brand name. I was looking for something that might have changed with the pills they were sending me. One thing I didn't notice on the pills they sent me when this all started ( which now I think was just a coincidence) was they were made by Pfizer but in Switzerland. Not from the other Pfizer distributor that I had been getting for months that were also the same pills I got from Walmart when I paid for them. I knew this because the bottles matched. But you would think it would be the same pills coming from Pfizer ?? So I went back to getting my rx from Walmart (still name brand). But nothing changed after a couple weeks. So I think that was just a coincidence.

[Altostrata]

I'm not sure if it was the Effexor or if I flipped out because the Effexor just stopped working over time the last couple years and I was grieving and didn't realize it.

 

 

shelby, what do you mean by "flipped out"?

 

What is your daily symptom pattern? Please keep notes on paper about times, etc.

[shelbytrev]

Well it started out as just feeling like I was pmsing all month instead of a week out of the month. Feeling on edge, irritable, couldn't sleep. Now I look back was probably anxiety but I didn't realize it. Then one day I was kinda stressed ( while still on the Effexor) and my husband and kids left to a bday party. I was going to finish cleaning up the kitchen cause I had just made a cake for a family members bday and meet them later. Well when they left the house I felt kinda weird, then in my head I said to myself "oh you should just go kill yourself". That's when I flipped out.

 

I never had a thought like that before and I almost had a panic attack over it. But I managed to calm myself down take a shower and get ready. Well ever since then I became obsessed about paying attention to my thoughts, feelings. So for about a month after that thought I just had bad anxiety everyday and couldn't stop obsessing over that thought. Started thinking I had become bipolar or manic. So that's when the "checking started".

 

I think from that I also became a little depressed. That's when I decided to change meds. I was afraid the meds were doing it to me. So now I just have lingering symptoms. Sometimes I have depersonalization,irritable, feeling like my body is thrashed, too much worrying about getting better or what's wrong with me, Repeating parts of songs in my head ( which is starting to let up a little) , feeling a little paranoid( not like people are after me type of paranoid) sensitive to stimuli(afraid I'm going to hallucinate) , things in my head to check if I really feel like killing myself or hurting my kids. (Which I don't) I have also noticed when I read other people's intrusive thoughts stories I start thinking them.  So I have stopped doing that.

 

It's hard to just forget about those thoughts. Now I feel anxious when I'm home alone. Or when I have to get ready. Almost as though it triggers that feeling and the thoughts to come back. The only thing I could link that thought to was: either from my dad committing suicide years ago, or a comment I had read about a year ago from someone who came off Effexor. Said while he was on it after a couple of months that thought popped into his head. He believed it was from the Effexor and came off. But I had read that so long ago I didn t think it could have had anything to do with it. Something I have noticed is that around the time I should be taking my Effexor for an hour or two I sometimes get pains in my head and feel a little out of it. Probably just a coincidence.

Edited May 17, 2016 by JanCarol
Paragraph breaks for clarity

[Altostrata]

At the time you flipped out, did you take any other drugs, such as an antibiotic?

 

Have you ever accidentally skipped taking Effexor? Are you good about taking your drugs at the same time each day?

[shelbytrev]

No I some whose managed to never miss a pill. I wasn't taking anything. Only thing I was doing different is in the 3 months prior I had started working out at least 3 times a day. Doing a very intense exercise called crossfit.

[KarenB]

Intense exercise is known for making w/d symptoms worse. 

[shelbytrev]

I have read that so I have switched to low impact Zumba and walking. But I'm wondering why it would have started while still taking the same dosage. Could I have been in withdrawal and not have known it till I kicked it in with overdoing the exercise ?? I know months before the bad symptoms started I never did feel "right". Started getting headaches out of nowhere. Stuff that I thought was allergies. But I had never experienced bad allergies before.

[KarenB]

This happened to me while I was on my full dose of Effexor.  I understood it to mean I was getting side-effects from the drug and/or the drug was losing effectiveness in my system.  Either situation would indicate a CNS destabilised by drugs, and so more sensitive to activating things like exercise. 

 

That cross-fit stuff looks crazyy intense!!

[apace41]

Shelby,

 

Read through your thread a little and wanted to let you know that "health anxiety" and checking your symptoms is something that is not uncommon during this process.  Especially true if you are someone who was sensitive to those things prior to going into withdrawal.  In my case, I know that I was someone who had a heightened sense of self-awareness, you know -- one of those people that notices symptoms more readily than others might.  There were some times when I got alarmed about those symptoms, but, by and large, it was not a major factor in my life.  When I was tapering my benzo and now my AD those anxieties have been heightened to a much greater degree.  Most days I can control them pretty well but there are times it is a real challenge.  You are not alone on that front.

 

The links that Alto posted regarding CBT, meditation and other forms of trying to learn to control the "monkey mind" are spot on.  It may not be easy during the withdrawal process to have these changes stick completely (although some people are very successful even during this time), but you can certainly start the process of rewiring your brain so that neuroplastic change makes you less likely to have a hairtrigger response to symptoms.  Regardless of how well you fare with this during withdrawal, the tools you learn will be valuable to you for the rest of your life in dealing with stuff that comes up.

 

I can tell you that is what I am in the process of doing. 

 

Just wanted you to know that I empathize with your struggles on that front.  Uncertainty feeds the beast but there is not much that is certain about withdrawal and the better equipped you become to practice acceptance, the faster you will heal.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[shelbytrev]

Ok so I was feeling pretty decent for about two weeks. Not normal but "ok" compared to my worst.

 

So I had some stressful things happen in the last week plus my pms. Now I'm having a setback. The whole heightened anxiety and senses to my surroundings. Mind chattering. Anyhow.

 

I would like to know how long I should go with this stuff and consider it withdrawal? How will I know if maybe it's just me?? I was looking up some of my recent symptoms and it sounds like what they call schizo ocd. Well I never had that before the meds. And I had it a bit when I first came off the Effexor but it subsided for a bit. Now it's back but not as bad.

 

Some sounds in my environment sound like someone is saying something. So my brain computes it as words. Really strange. I'm pretty sure I'm not heading voices cause it's noises going on around me. They say people might experience it but don't pay attention or just think "that's weird" and dismiss it.

 

And the other night my anxiety was so bad because of my doctors nurse doing an ekg on me and having false results. I felt that feeling you get when you wake up from a bad dream for most of the night. I was so scared. Had some other things happen, Guinea pig died and the pms was crazy this month with no meds. So my anxiety has been up the last couple of days. I'm hoping this will pass.

 

I keep thinking what if I developed something while on the Effexor and now it's showing itself since I have been off. Then I think how long do I wait this out? I am functioning. I feel exercise is helping me now instead of hurting me. But when do I throw in the towel and say on its just me and not the drug withdrawal?

 

By the way it's been 3 months off Effexor and5 weeks off a low dose of Prozac. I know it hasn't been that long. And I'm not looking to reinstate because I can handle it. It just gets annoying and sown times scary. More scary cause I start telling myself "oh what if it's just me?" I still feel a tad better compared to when my problems started. I can actually sleep now.

Edited May 17, 2016 by JanCarol
paragraph breaks for clarity

[ChessieCat]

Hi ShelbyTrev,

 

"Some sounds in my environment sound like someone is saying something. So my brain computes it as words. Really strange. I'm pretty sure I'm not heading voices cause it's noises going on around me."

 

I've experienced this several times since starting my taper, just like someone chattering on about something.  I've read somewhere that it's the brain hearing something and relating it to something that it already knows.  It's weird when it happens because I automatically try to tune in to what they are saying but it doesn't get any clearer.  Very glad I know what it is and what is causing it.  Someone else (on here I think) commented that they could here circus music.  Just found it:  best-description-of-healing-process

after clicking on the link do a Ctrl F and type in "circus music".

CC

[btdt]

Ok so I was feeling pretty decent for about two weeks. Not normal but "ok" compared to my worst. So I had some stressful things happen in the last week plus my pms. Now I'm having a setback. The whole heightened anxiety and senses to my surroundings. Mind chattering. Anyhow. I would like to know how long I should go with this stuff and consider it withdrawal? How will I know if maybe it's just me?? I was looking up some of my recent symptoms and it sounds like what they call schizo ocd. Well I never had that before the meds. And I had it a bit when I first came off the Effexor but it subsided for a bit. Now it's back but not as bad. Some sounds in my environment sound like someone is saying something. So my brain computes it as words. Really strange. I'm pretty sure I'm not heading voices cause it's noises going on around me. They say people might experience it but don't pay attention or just think "that's weird" and dismiss it. And the other night my anxiety was so bad because of my doctors nurse doing an ekg on me and having false results. I felt that feeling you get when you wake up from a bad dream for most of the night. I was so scared. Had some other things happen, Guinea pig died and the pms was crazy this month with no meds. So my anxiety has been up the last couple of days. I'm hoping this will pass. I keep thinking what if I developed something while on the Effexor and now it's showing itself since I have been off. Then I think how long do I wait this out? I am functioning. I feel exercise is helping me now instead of hurting me. But when do I throw in the towel and say on its just me and not the drug withdrawal? By the way it's been 3 months off Effexor and5 weeks off a low dose of Prozac. I know it hasn't been that long. And I'm not looking to reinstate because I can handle it. It just gets annoying and sown times scary. More scary cause I start telling myself "oh what if it's just me?" I still feel a tad better compared to when my problems started. I can actually sleep now.

 

 

Hi ShelbyTrev,

 

"Some sounds in my environment sound like someone is saying something. So my brain computes it as words. Really strange. I'm pretty sure I'm not heading voices cause it's noises going on around me."

 

I've experienced this several times since starting my taper, just like someone chattering on about something.  I've read somewhere that it's the brain hearing something and relating it to something that it already knows.  It's weird when it happens because I automatically try to tune in to what they are saying but it doesn't get any clearer.  Very glad I know what it is and what is causing it.  Someone else (on here I think) commented that they could here circus music.  Just found it:  best-description-of-healing-process

after clicking on the link do a Ctrl F and type in "circus music".

CC

It is Effexor withdrawal trust me it is. There is a ton of things in the effexor withdrawal bag of tricks... seeing things is one that came to light on another site... things moving seen from the corner of the eye which I am sure is the cousin of the opposite not seeing things that are right in front of you... after looking in the same spot for the same thing more times than you care to admit... it suddenly "appears" and if your the only one home you know it is your perception or something else in your brain that is broken.

[Irvingkirsch]

And from reading in some of the forums where people are discussing the withdrawals. I believe I am experiencing those in the last couple months without even tapering.

 

 

Hi, I somehow landed on this thread and noticed that we may have experienced the exact same thing. I was on Luvox and one day, I started to experience withdrawal symptoms and I have never slept the same since. My initial assumption was that this was caused because Luvox pooped out. Is this sort of what you experienced? Did you have really bad insomnia for many months  after? Did it eventually go away? Thanks.

[shelbytrev]

Yes, that was one of my main problems. I started not being able to fall asleep at night. Then waking at like 530 and not being able to go back to bed. Then not having sleep jacked me up even more. Eventually I had to take a benzo to help me sleep. I took them for just a bit while initially coming off Effexor and going on to other stuff. But nothing was helping so after a month of a low dose of Prozac and low dose of Valium I came off. Most nights now I can actually fall asleep and stay asleep. But I still wake up with anxiety but I'm trying to learn how to not pay attention to it. But I find working out has helped tire me out and no napping during the day. Not that my anxiety would let me nap lol

[shelbytrev]

And my insomnia went away a little bit while on the Prozac but now I only have a problem when I'm stressed or having woman problems.

[Irvingkirsch]

Yes, that was one of my main problems. I started not being able to fall asleep at night. Then waking at like 530 and not being able to go back to bed. Then not having sleep jacked me up even more. Eventually I had to take a benzo to help me sleep. I took them for just a bit while initially coming off Effexor and going on to other stuff. But nothing was helping so after a month of a low dose of Prozac and low dose of Valium I came off. Most nights now I can actually fall asleep and stay asleep. But I still wake up with anxiety but I'm trying to learn how to not pay attention to it. But I find working out has helped tire me out and no napping during the day. Not that my anxiety would let me nap lol

 

How long after you stopped taking meds all together did it take for the inosmnia to go away? I'm so jealous of people that nap. 

[shelbytrev]

Ugh I went to my therapist this evening. Felt high anxiety. Almost thought I might have a panic attack. Reminded me of the anxiety attacks I had before I started my meds 13 years ago. Very scary. I started doubting myself as I was sitting there trying to concentrate on what he was saying. I'm thinking omg I need to go back on meds. I don't want to feel like this again. I sure hope this will pass. If it gets worse I'm not sure I will be able to cope or manage my anxiety without being on medication. I also went to my psych earlier today. I was only on Prozac at a very low dose for about a month. But he was telling me it could take up to 5 weeks for it to be completely out your system. Does that mean I'm gonna still be having withdrawal from the Prozac and Effexor ? He said me today is me as my unmedicated self. So that means my unmedicated self is still anxiety ridden? I seem to think it might take longer for my brain to heal??

[shelbytrev]

I was feeling "ok" for about a week. I have been off all meds for a little over two months. Well bam a couple days before my period hit it went from irritable to all of my symptoms coming back.

 

So the one the bothers me the most is this new ocd thing with my intrusive thoughts. Or if I read anything about a mental illness I start thinking or imagining symptoms. My intrusive thoughts are either about killing myself or killing my kids. Now off the meds I notice that "inner voice" more and it's going a lot more. Well when something triggers that though I start dwelling on it. I keep repeating to myself " just kill yourself" among other things on that topic. Then it causes me anxiety and this awful feeling inside. But I can't stop repeating it over in my head.

 

I never had this problem before meds. Well then my mind starts going and arguing the thoughts or talking to myself in my head as to why I would never do this. Then I start thinking maybe I'm hearing a "voice" that's telling me to do this. But I also have this thing where I had read about being phsychotic or schizophrenic and then I start looking for or comparing my symptoms. And I think omg I have really lost it.

 

It's very hard when your inside voice won't stop repeating things that cause you such inner turmoil. That's when I start getting discouraged and get start thinking I am crazy now and need medication. The thoughts seem so real and I think how could I think these things and I start ruminating on them. Then if I haven't had the thought or saying in my head for a while it's like my brain purposely thinks about it to check and see if it's still there or it just pops in my head.

 

Sometimes if I'm lucky I can just brush it off but sometimes it gets stuck and then my brain takes it farther and I start adding on to it. Like instead of just thinking " you should just kill your self" then I will think something stupid like " you know you want to". But it also seems like that got worse after watching a YouTube video on what it's like to be schizophrenic. Very bad idea ! My brain started in with that too.

 

Or another thing I get is sensitivity to noises. Sometimes it's like I hear a noise and my brain computes it as a word. But so far the word I hear has been "hey". In a background noise. But it's like my brain looks for it now. It's really weird and didn't happen before or during Effexor. It's like my brain wants to believe I'm becoming psychotic. Why would I do this to myself I don't know. That's just the most disturbing problem I have had. Among the other common withdrawals.

 

So is this type of thing normal ? Almost 3 months out? And for the record hurting myself or anyone else is the farthest thing i could ever imagine doing. That's why it scares me so bad to hear these things in my head. Then I have brief periods of my head being so clear that's almost scary cause my voice finally shuts up. and I think hey I can do this. Then eventually it's something else that starts.

Edited May 17, 2016 by JanCarol
Paragraph breaks for clarity

[Fresh]

None of this is permanent Shelbytrev ...  what you're going through is normal for withdrawal after tapering too fast.

Your brain is in an uproar trying to establish an equilibrium after almost 2 decades on meds.

 

You might still want to consider reinstating.   This w/d may go on for many months yet.

[ChessieCat]

Hi ShelbyTrev,

 

Have you read this:  Brain Remodelling