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PatriciaVP: #TweetingMyRecovery 140 Characters is all I got


PatriciaVP

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  • Moderator Emeritus
7 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

Whenever I get to three months past a drop especially a drop that is too big, I get hit with an intense wave.

 

7 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

At least after writing this I realize it is part of the pattern and likely unavoidable. That means I didn't cause it,

 

If this is a pattern you might do better changing your taper.  I'm assuming from your drug signature that you are doing % reduction each month.  You could try a smaller reduction, or you could try the Brass Monkey Slide (I have not read back through your topic and I'm assuming that you are not already doing this).

 

It seems silly to continue tapering the way you are if you are going to experience a worse patch every 3 months.  You could end up with anticipatory anxiety from thinking that it will happen and then it may end up being the anticipatory anxiety causing the worsening or making things even worse.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Mentor

I'm so sorry things are so hard for you, Patricia!

congratulations on your job, by the way, I thought I had posted when you announced it but I don't see a post from me, so I guess not

sorry! I was cheering for you inside my head, at least.

 

You've done several really long holds.

 I know you're anxious to get off this stuff, but maybe it's time for another long hold...??

 

Life in general is stressful for everyone right now, add to it your job and WD too, and that's a lot. 

 

I know you are super good at self care. so I'm not going to offer any advice (that you didn't ask for in the first place LOL I already gave you my thoughts about a hold. shame on me!)

 

You have the patience of a saint, the way you have gone about this! I think you're making the right choices for you and your body.

 

It's hard when you really want to be done with the fool drug, but I can tell you as someone who went too fast, it's not worth it.

You get to the same place eventually, there's no reason to rush it.


I like how you make these notes to yourself here. I also like that I get to hear how you are doing!

 

hang in there, you're gonna make it.  ❤️ 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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16 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

 

If this is a pattern you might do better changing your taper.  I'm assuming from your drug signature that you are doing % reduction each month.  You could try a smaller reduction, or you could try the Brass Monkey Slide (I have not read back through your topic and I'm assuming that you are not already doing this).

 

It seems silly to continue tapering the way you are if you are going to experience a worse patch every 3 months.  You could end up with anticipatory anxiety from thinking that it will happen and then it may end up being the anticipatory anxiety causing the worsening or making things even worse.

Thank you ChessieCat. Each drop has been too much even though it seems like such a tiny amount, but I just did the math and realized coming down by .25 mgs from 4.25 mgs was almost 6%. Way too much for me!  I think I'll wait at least 3 months and try 2 1/2%. Followed by a 3 month hold just to make sure it is low enough. 

 

@Happy2Heal Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.  They mean a lot. How have things been with you?

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg. Feb. 25, 2017 7 mg. April 9, 2017 6.5 mg. June 2017 6 mg. Aug. 2018 5.75 mg March 2019 5.5 mg Apr. 2019 5.25 mg. June 2019 5 mg Sept. 2019 4.75 mg Nov. 2019 4.5 mg Dec. 2019  4.25 April 7 2020 4mg 

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

WWW.PSYCHFREE.NET 

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  • Mentor
1 hour ago, PatriciaVP said:

How have things been with you?

things are OK thank you for asking

 

just waiting and hoping for these to settle down and praying that this virus is not with us much longer.

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator Emeritus
6 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

Each drop has been too much even though it seems like such a tiny amount, but I just did the math and realized coming down by .25 mgs from 4.25 mgs was almost 6%. Way too much for me! 

 

There is no such thing as "a tiny amount".  It is relative to an individual.  You've said it yourself:  Way too much for you.

 

The 10% reduction every 4 weeks is an average method.  Some people might be find reducing 15% whereas other might have to reduce by 5%. But there is no way to know who can do what reduction percentage.

 

I think it is a good idea to do a nice long hold.  That way the brain will have a chance to catch up if needed.  I had to reduce quickly off 100mg Pristiq because I was experiencing mild serotonin toxicity.  Pristiq is only available in 50mg and 100mg doses in Australia (other countries can get 25mg).  When I got to 50mg I did a 3 month hold, instead of 4.  When I got to 20mg I had lots of capsules left so I held for 7 weeks instead of 4.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 6 months later...

I felt pretty good in the summer and most of the fall so I tried a reduction of .10 mgs in November.  Come January I  still felt fine so I reduced by another .10 mgs. Last week around January 26 withdrawal with bladder issues. I felt like I lost all control. The past 2 days I've woken up with intense anxiety only to be in a fog all day. The week before last exercise seemed to bring on mild mania.

I'm now dealing with akathesia, internal vibrations, cog fog, irritability electrical zaps. I almost feel like I'm back at the beginning of withdrawal. 

 

I thought I could find an amount to taper small enough that it wouldn't be disruptive, but I don't think I can go less than .10 mgs.

 

This makes me sad and angry. I'm stuck on it forever. Who knows how much more damage it will do as I age?

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg. Feb. 25, 2017 7 mg. April 9, 2017 6.5 mg. June 2017 6 mg. Aug. 2018 5.75 mg March 2019 5.5 mg Apr. 2019 5.25 mg. June 2019 5 mg Sept. 2019 4.75 mg Nov. 2019 4.5 mg Dec. 2019  4.25 April 7 2020 4mg 

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

WWW.PSYCHFREE.NET 

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  • 1 year later...

Hi @PatriciaVP

I feel for you for what you've been through with these drugs.

How are you doing these days?

It would be great to hear from you if you feel like stopping by to post an update. No pressure, of course.

Thinking of you and wishing you well,

A.

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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