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☼ DaddyCee: It's me


DaddyCee

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Thanks, dc , wishing you all the best.

Opiates 18 months 2010 to 2012

Prozac 12 months 2012 to 2013

Prozac 7 doses of prozac late November 2015.

Adverse reaction on the 7th dose.

Stopped cold turkey on the last week in November 2015.

Immediately suffering from acute w/d.

Severe insomnia, anxiety, burning head.

Doctor prescribed propranolol for anxiety, adrenaline rushes.

 

Propranolol 10mg 4× a day.

Nearly 3 months after reaction, new symptoms include,

Awful insomnia,burning head.waves of depression and suicide ideation.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi dc , how are you.

I've got a question, if you don't mind.

Do you always feel better before bedtime, or what time of day is best for you.

I feel worse in the afternoon for some reason.

I've found out from my dr , that the hunger anxiety thing is called reactive hypoglycemia, apparently some people have it all the time, but it's usually caused by stress.

I think it's cortisol related.

Opiates 18 months 2010 to 2012

Prozac 12 months 2012 to 2013

Prozac 7 doses of prozac late November 2015.

Adverse reaction on the 7th dose.

Stopped cold turkey on the last week in November 2015.

Immediately suffering from acute w/d.

Severe insomnia, anxiety, burning head.

Doctor prescribed propranolol for anxiety, adrenaline rushes.

 

Propranolol 10mg 4× a day.

Nearly 3 months after reaction, new symptoms include,

Awful insomnia,burning head.waves of depression and suicide ideation.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi RR.

 

How rude of me not to answer you sooner. I missed the post so BIG apology for that. I hope you are doing well.

 

I currently wake with a funny feeling in my stomach, it isn't a buzzing (that happened within the first 12 months) and it isn't what I would call anxious feeling. It is just a feeling. If I go to the bathroom to freshen up then it usually goes.  It has to be Cortisol doesn't it? 

 

9/10 it does go, but on the odd time that it lingers then it has usually vanished by mid morning.  If I have a stressful time at work then I can have anxious feelings until I drive home and then again they seem to vanish. I think it's because my mind is elsewhere and so the focus is removed.

 

I hear that ADs mess with the blood sugar level so yes I do feel that I have a form of Hypoglycemia as if I have anxious feelings I tend to eat and they are greatly diminished.

 

In the past if times were rough then again 9/10 I could guarantee that things would be a lot brighter and better after 7pm.

 

I hope this helps. If you have any more questions, then please let me know and I will try to answer them in a more timely fashion.

 

Namaste,

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Thanks dc,very helpful.

Don't mind the wait ,it gives me hope that you must be healing, I think when I feel better, I'll be focused on life.

Since you asked, I have a question.

Have you on your journey, suffered from heartburn, I'm going through a lot of it right now. I've read about apple cider vinegar and bicarbonate of soda, but I'm a bit nervous about trying it .have you had any experience of it.thanks dc.

Opiates 18 months 2010 to 2012

Prozac 12 months 2012 to 2013

Prozac 7 doses of prozac late November 2015.

Adverse reaction on the 7th dose.

Stopped cold turkey on the last week in November 2015.

Immediately suffering from acute w/d.

Severe insomnia, anxiety, burning head.

Doctor prescribed propranolol for anxiety, adrenaline rushes.

 

Propranolol 10mg 4× a day.

Nearly 3 months after reaction, new symptoms include,

Awful insomnia,burning head.waves of depression and suicide ideation.

Link to comment

Hi RR,

 

See a quicker response this time :)

 

I can't say that I have suffered from heartburn or indigestion. I did have a short spell of waking up in the early hours and having to take a couple of Tums, but that was short lived probably no more than a month or so. I too would be nervous about adding something to my system when going through the early stages of withdrawal as it can play havoc. Though saying that I have learnt one main thing and that is that none of us are the same. What may be CNS activating for me may not have the same effect on you. I would say try a small amount to start with and then if it needs to be increased then do so gradually.

 

So are you off of all meds now or are you in the process of tapering?

 

Cheers,

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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An update -

 

I had for lunch today Glorious soup which was West African Chicken - it made me feel ill.  My heart felt like it was seriously racing though my Fitbit band said that it wasn't. I felt light headed and queasy. Looking at the ingredients and it says "contains Spiced chicken and toasted soya spread soup with potato and red peppers".

 

Has anyone else had a similar reaction to that kind of product or ingredient? How di you counteract it or did you just let it run its course.  It put me right back in to the throes of WD in one respect. Eeek!!

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Hi dc , I've tried acv and bs today. Don't feel bad, but time will tell.

I find peppers activating , and spices too , I'd keep it a bit more bland for now dc.

Opiates 18 months 2010 to 2012

Prozac 12 months 2012 to 2013

Prozac 7 doses of prozac late November 2015.

Adverse reaction on the 7th dose.

Stopped cold turkey on the last week in November 2015.

Immediately suffering from acute w/d.

Severe insomnia, anxiety, burning head.

Doctor prescribed propranolol for anxiety, adrenaline rushes.

 

Propranolol 10mg 4× a day.

Nearly 3 months after reaction, new symptoms include,

Awful insomnia,burning head.waves of depression and suicide ideation.

Link to comment

D.C.   How's the rest of it going ?   How are you feeling ?  What symptoms  are you dealing with now ?

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Thanks RR.

 

AliG - I'm mainly dealing with anxiety (especially at work). Early morning groggy feeling - cortisol? and sometimes light headedness which I put down to anxiety. I hear that anxiety is one of the last things to leave us. I'm nearly 2.5 years out :)

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Was this ( anxiety )  an  " original condition" , pre- drugs  ?  Or because of the drugs ?  ( an after - effect ) ?  Just curious.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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I was put on AD's due to anxiety. Though it was a lot more severe than what I have recently experienced.

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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 That's hopeful .   :)   You will obviously have to look for  " non - drug " ways of coping  with this , but I assume you have already looked into this . If not , " Symptoms & Self - Care " has  a lot of coping techniques/ tools  & methods to help in the long run.

We all have to find ways of dealing with some of our original symptoms, in a natural & healing way.  Sometimes , easier said than done , but  possible at the end of the day .  I hope this improves for you , very soon.

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi DaddyCee,

 

These might be helpful:

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Thanks to all for the helpful links.

 

I need to point out that anxiety is not a daily occurrence these days and it seems to be linked to stress. I have taken part in a professional course of CBT and try to take care of myself by having regular Reflexology and Body Massages every couple of weeks.

 

I have also read the books by Paul David which do give a good insight to the condition.  I have also listened to audios from Claire Weekes.

 

I am very hopeful and still feel that I am in withdrawal having had these poisons in my body for 15+ years.

 

Namaste, DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Hi All.

 

I have just received this link http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/why-media-so-afraid-woman-s-work-4 it might be worth supporting to get this 'Kelly Brogan' book in to the mainstream and not blacklisted.

 

What do you think?

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

Link to comment

Yes I can relate to the sugar crash experience. Had that on Tuesday, and also get that in the evenings, have to eat on time or get hangry.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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what kind of feelings and sensations do you get?

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Rumbling tummy, and start to get shaky. If allowed to continue start to sweat. Will be getting urine tested for diabetes on 6th April.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Namaste DC.

 

Re the Kelly Brogan link ,  why don't you start a thread in "Events , Controversies , Actions" ?   Maybe explain it and

copy and paste the last paragaph so readers can know what it's about.  Thanks , ;)

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Thanks Fresh and done :)

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks DC.  I just found a Kelly Brogan thread in Symptoms and Self Care , perhaps add it there too.

Increase the exposure.

 

:D

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Friends.

 

So I just stopped by to say that I am now two and a half years off from Escitalopram. What a journey and it is still continuing though nowhere near as bad as it as in the beginning. I hope you are all on your own healing paths.

 

Namaste,

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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D.C.   That is great news . What are your symptoms now versus  2.5 yrs ago ?  How has it improved ?   What do you think you have done ,  ( self - care ) that has helped ?  Any tips/ suggestions ?  What do you feel has worked for you ?      It could be helpful for others.

I'm happy for you .

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi AliG,

 

Thank you for your kind words.

 

Improvements - I am no longer consumed all day every day by WD as I was for the first 6 months - 1 year.  Then frequently from year 1 to year 2. I have started to notice a leap in improvement in the last 3 months or so. I still get anxious when stressed and I am still frequently waking between 3am - 4am each morning, but I am usually able to get back off to sleep without too much problem.  When I wake I feel as though I have had good quality sleep, as though I have rested. In the early throes of WD it couldn't have been further from the truth.

 

Self Care - Being gentle with myself. Understanding the physiological reasons behind Anxiety. AAF (Acknowledge, Accept and Float). Taking baths with Dead Sea Salt or Epsom Salt. Staying away from Alcohol. Not drinking beverages containing Aspartame or NutraSweet (mainly fizzy drinks). Cutting out Coffee (Caffeine is a big trigger for me). Drinking Tea (no issue for Caffeine in this). No headache tablets.

 

What has worked - Having good regular Reflexology & Massage sessions with an excellent therapist (VG) who understands me and we have two way conversations which helps me to unload. These sessions started out as weekly and then after 6 months I dropped them to twice monthly also reading books from Paul David and listening to Claire Weekes audios.

 

I'm not fully out of the woods yet, but I can start to see that brighter days are coming.

 

I hope you all find some useful information here. If you have any questions, then please drop me a line.

 

Namaste,

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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I forgot that I try to exercise a minimum of 3 times a week for between 40 - 60 minutes at a time, this is mainly using Weights and a little light Cardio.  I have only be doing this since May 2015 and don't think I would have been able to cope in the early throes of WD.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi DaddyCee, 

so now I read through your posts:) You never finished your story though:D Anyways, I know a lot about anxiety as I first experienced it 11 years ago, when changing from College to university. Like you said, those panic attacks you experienced before AD, where NOTHING compared to what happens in WD. I always experienced phases of intense anxiety when my life was more stressful due to work or some personal family matters. Either when I had too many projects at once or when I hated my job and would´t think about quitting. 

So yes, I know that stress at work can cause panic attacks or anxiety.

 

And even now, in WD, where I cut back my working hours and eliminated everything that could cause stress - my symptoms worsen at the smallest sign of stress. And by stress I mean something that I personally experience as stressful ;) Which can be anything really. Specially meeting clients in person which I don´t have to do often but still...I try to keep that "one personal client meeting per week rule" but if the appointment is on a "bad day" I won´t sleep the night before, I sweat and I get this feeling of " I have to run away, I have to escape this situation". And I feel like during the meeting I have to have something ready to eat ;) I don´t know what that is all about, maybe yes, I feel that my sugar is getting low and then it helps to eat something but who knows;) Maybe this is just some weird mechanism. Like feeling better when wearing a beanie or some sort of hat. I swear I feel more safe :D 

 

What kind of job are you in? Do you have to deal with many people a day? Are  you sitting in an office with many other people? 
Before becoming self-dependent I worked in advertising companies (I am a graphic designer) and could tell a big difference between sitting in a room with 10, or with 2 people. 10 people talking the whole day, telephones ringing, maybe feeling stress of the others as well - this was always too much for me. 

Also I think you are right concerning wi-fi waves and all that. I definitely think those do influence us a lot. 
A room with computers has a different energy that one without electronic devices. 
 

I read that you found Paul David helpful? I ordered one of his books now, looking forward to reading it. 

Do you have other book titles you could recommend? 

I already read Peter Breggins Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal and Baylissas "With Hope In My Heart" and "Recovery and Renewal". All three where of great help. Peter Breggins writes from a very professional view as a psychiatrist and I found it not so easy to read (but I am not a native speaker). 

 

So anxiety was your pre-condition and your main withdrawal issue? It basically the same symptom but much stronger? 

In my case I feel like my brain is wildly doing EVERYTHING now :D All I new from before were mild panic attacks and sometimes feeling blue. 
Since quitting I´ve had: Severe headaches, brain frog, buzzing in my head/ears, extreme panic attacks, strong depressive moods (I never knew how hard those could be), paranoia (thoughts of friends and family plotting agains me - whilst they are being nothing but loving and kind to me of course;)), numbness ´ and tingling in hands and feet, sometimes the face, anxiety to be sexually harassed somewhere outside, feeling of "I just can´t meet my friends, do this and that, go there,..." getting extreme panicky when meeting people I love, sleepless nights, nightmares, etc. 
Well, really everything. Sometimes hope I won´t turn crazy and see/ hear things:) Which thankfully never happened:D 

 

Do you ever get panic attacks while training or when you are at the gym? 
 

 

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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Hi Pepita,

 

I know I've been meaning to finish my diary but as time moves on other pressures seem to take precedence. I will get around to it one day soon.

 

I too find that I have sugar dips during the day and this can lead to anxious thinking and physical symptoms. I have read that ADs mess with your insulin production so this would tie in with that theory. I also read that it is a condition that does improve with time.

 

Can you drink Alcohol or any drinks that have caffeine i.e Coke or Coffee?

 

I can't at the moment. Well I say can't to be honest I haven't tried in over 2 years and I am a little bit scared to set back my recovery if I was to have a nice cold Bud or a lovely Italian espresso.

 

I work in IT and so am at the beckon call for all staff. It's not a massive organisation roughly 50 people spread across 2 sites so there is travel involved. I have also employed the services of an external business that also are a good source of information if I find I am struggling in my technical capacity. I don't claim to know everything about IT as it is such a large and varied topic.  I sit in an office with a few other staff members and also the CEO when he is in.  He can be very demanding and at the height of my early WD it was touch and go at one point as to whether I was prepared to stay in my current role. I'm glad I didn't jump as I think it would have lead to more issues further down the line.

 

I also work in an RF environment (radiowave frequencies) and believe that this contributes to my anxiety at times, though it would be hard to prove or disprove.

 

Books - The 2 written by Paul David are a great inspiration. I am just in the middle of reading the Kelly Brogan book which is mainly aimed at the female market but if you have an open mind then it also contains some very good and seemingly legitimate case stories that go to prove that ADs are dangerous and are too frequently adminstered by so called medical professionals.

 

I can't rightly say that anxiety was a pre-condition as I was enjoying life fully before my episode in Italy actually happened. I have spoken to my family and my mum seems to think that when I was a boy I was always well underweight even though I ate well enough I never put on any weight. I could eat anything and stay the same weight. This could be down to nervous energy or it could have just been my metabolism.

 

I have come to learn, when I need to take extra special care of myself and if a situation starts to get uncomfortable then I take myself out of that situation for 10 minutes to calm down and say some affirmations to myself. I am slowly starting to re-train my brain.

 

I didn't realise that my personal growth would be stunted whilst on ADs. No doctor ever explained this. So now I am finding that I am having to again re-train myself for stressful situations. It is a hard thing to do as you take 1 step forward and 2 back to begin with.

 

You definitely will not go crazy that is just anxiety talking.

 

I only started the gym after about 1 and half years of being AD free. I don't think I could have coped before that period it would just have been too stressful. I have (so far) never had a panic attack whilst training. I keep well hydrated and try not to push myself too much if I am not in the correct frame of mind. When I first started I did have weird head sensations but that again was anxiety trying to raise its head and also I was very unfit, so i'm pretty sure that didn't help.  I was also quite scared to take a high protein drink after training as there are other nutrients and supplements in those products and I didn't want to react to any in a bad way. Safe to say all was OK and I take those kind of drinks infrequently these days as I try to get my protein and carbs from natural sources.

 

Do you work out at the moment?  What coping skills do you employ when you are going through a tough patch?

 

Namaste,

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Hi DaddyCee, 

thank you for your reply. 
 

Today I watched a really interesting webinar on natural cures for Anxiety and Depression by a nutritionist from Australia. 
She explains very detailed and easy to understand, how neurotransmitters are built and how the brain and the gut work together. 

If you´re interested, you can find it here: 

http://advancedwellness.com.au/webinars/7-steps-to-freedom-from-anxiety-depression-adhd/

 

For the second part you have to give away your email-address, but I found the information  worth it. 
If I find a reliable Clinic in Vienna, offering tests for gut-bacteria and food allergies, I will definitely do so. 
It can´t do any harm - and it might help lots:) 

No, I can´t drink alcohol or caffeine. Sometimes, when I have a view good days I can have a small beer or a small glass of whine and it won´t harm me, but in waves symptoms immediately worsen. 

Wow, so you did not drink alcohol or caffeine for over 2 years  :o that´s what I call discipline :) I now drink decaf coffee because I love the taste and that way I don´t miss it. 

 

I received the book by Paul David today but I had it sent to my office and I am currently fighting a strong cold (on top of everything else ;)
I am looking forward reading it!

 

The 10 minute-retreat is a good idea - actually that is something I am doing as well but haven´t really thought about it as a good coping mechanism. 

I am a graphic designer and I am self-dependent for almost 6 years now. I know for sure - I couldn´t stay at an agency. Working at an advertising agency is way to stressful crazy. It was one of the reasons why I decided to quit and work on my own. This has advantages: I have my own calm office with 1 very nice colleague who rents her working space at my office. She knows about my "condition", so I don´t have to act as if everything is fine. 
I find this the most distressing factor. If I meet somebody, friend, client or whoever, I always feel a lot better when I tell them that I am currently not feeling so well. This might not always have the best impression on my clients but I like to keep it honest. I do my work and if they don´t want me to work for them anymore because of WD - whatever:) So if I have a really really bad day and I don´t have an appointment, I can stay at home or come later that day when I feel better. On the other hand: I don´t earn if I don´t work. But actually since WD started, there was only 2 weeks where I did not work at all. The rest of the time I was always able to force myself to go to the office and get some things done. And sometimes this helps as well and takes the mind off WD. 

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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...oops, I was not finished:) accidentally clicked some shortcut and sent it. 
okay, so my main helpful coping tool is mindfulness meditation. 
As I have been doing this daily now I can calm myself down very fast already. 
I also keep a journal where I write down only positive things, positive things about recovery, things I am thankful for and helpful, calming words to myself (like the affirmations). 

Also I have a lot of support from my mother, boyfriend and closest friends (and I am really thankful for that). So I call them very often or visit when I am drowning in sorrows. This also helps almost in every situation. 

I still want to try the EFT!

At this point, with WD now going on for about 6 months, I sometimes feel like i am totally losing myself. Like my mind and brain is scattered somewhere. 
Do you know that feeling? 

 

I am currently thinking about getting a dog. I am fit enough to go for long walks and I think this could be very beneficial. But I am not sure yet as it is a great responsibility. 

 

Regarding sports: This is tough for me. I am usually a very fit person. I go to the gym almost every day. I am boxing, kickboxing and weightlifting. This does not really work at the moment. On a really good day, yes, but mostly I get too exhausted afterwards and the symptoms worsen. 
Yoga is a good alternative that I do quite often and I can also practice it at home in case of a "cannot talk to anybody" situation:) 

How about drinking raw eggs? ;) No, just kidding. Yeah, I have different kinds of weigh at home. But as I am not regularly training now I don´t drink it at the moment. 

 

Did you do any therapy or coachings? 

 

Best wishes from Vienna, 
Marlene 

 

 

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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Thanks for the link I will try and take a look by the weekend.

 

It's good that you are able to continue to do your graphic design business, I think having a job is a main way to take your mind off from WD and its effects.  I remember in the early stages of being at work and feeling 100% consumed by WD thoughts and physical feelings. I would feel absolutely awful at times and wouldn't wish the hardship on anyone. Ultimately though we all push through it and come out the otherside a little bit better. Each battle we win makes us a better person I feel.

 

I also drink Decaf coffee as it is the only one that I / body can contend with. I do drink tea and there is still caffeine in tea but it doesn't seem to affect me anywhere near as much as coffee.

 

At around 6 months off the med, I was in a pretty sorry state.... brain fog, slow cognitive thinking. I sat at my desk one day and was trying to connect a machine to one of the servers and completely forgot the server name.... a major panic ensued and I felt like I was in meltdown.... I came through that episode and even though I still feel my memory is sometimes compromised it is no way near as bad as that one time.

 

I also suffered a bout of Insomnia at roughly the 6 month mark. That lasted 2 - 3 weeks and that was another very trying time, but it does pass and I did get my reasonably regular sleep pattern back.

 

I did a few types of therapy... CBT when I was tapering, then I did mindful meditation on my own for about 6 months and this led to me seeing a counsellor who specialised in mindful meditation practices he was a Buddhist monk but his teachings didn't really gel with me.  I then had a few sessions of full body massages and I liked them. I found an absolutely wonderful therapist who I see every two weeks for either a massage or reflexology. The last session we did a quick EFT session which I found emotional. She is an excellent listener and gives good honest advice and suggestions.  Which I put in to practice and 9 times out of 10 they really help. My therapist has gone through a similar experience as myself and so knows where I am coming from.

 

What symptoms are you mainly dealing with at the moment?

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Hi DaddyCee, 

I find it remarkable that you managed to work all this time through!! You must be a strong person to be able to do so:) 

Did you have support by family/friends? 
I  sometimes read about people who are dealing with WD all on their own - I honestly don´t know how they do it!

Decaf Coffee is fine I think. I sometimes try black tea - but even this gets me sweaty and panicky (on sensitive days)

 

The brain fog can be really irritating, I know. Luckily I haven´t had thick fog in over 2 months. 

 

At the moment my symptoms are mainly obsessive thoughts concerning fear of being attacked somewhere on the streets :blush:

We have had some cases of rape lately in Vienna and after I read about it I got completely consumed. 
This is a distressing topic of course and I am sure it is normal to feel threatened by it - but not in the way I am consumed by this. 
I have had obsessive thoughts before when WD started and this is exactly the same - only that I now get really anxious outside. 

 

I know this will pass. I have had so many different weird things going on since WD startet - and they went away. 
This one is really persistent for about 2-3 weeks now. 

Have you had obsessive thinking in your experience? 

Best from Vienna, 
Pepita

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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Hey Pepita,

 

The early stages were difficult - I had to take a few days off sick and worked a few from home, it was hard.  Other than that I have managed to push through it and to be honest on the odd day I still feel like I am pushing through it.

 

Support comes from my wife.... she has been incredible and has really been able to talk to me and sometimes in quite a harsh way which seems to resonate with me and alter my thinking process which gets me back on track.

 

Obsessive thoughts I have had plenty. Some pleasant and some not so much.  At the end of the day though they are just thoughts and they can't harm us.

 

I remember that I would ask a question like "how do I seem to you" to my wife and she would answer and then 10 - 15mins later I would ask the same question. It's not that I have a short term memory issue it was just to re-affirm what I had been told previously to see if anything had changed, may be because I felt that I had changed in the short period.

 

Do you get mood swings? How are the SI thoughts? 

 

I spoke to my doctor (when I was first in withdrawal) about SI thoughts and he said that I would probably always have them from time to time, usually in stressful periods. I don't know if this is true, they have decreased a lot, May be soon I will have one day without having an SI thought.

 

I would never act on them, but they are still scary all the same.

 

Namaste,

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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It is great - or actually I think it is necessary to be supported by the partner. I don´t know how people are able to go through with it if their other half is not supporting them! Thankfully my boyfriend handles this situation surprisingly well :) I say surprisingly because he is not that kind of person who likes to talk about feelings, but he is completely accepting me in every stage of this crisis. He always treats me exactly the same - as if nothing had changed. Only sometimes I wish he would be a little more "sensitive" but after a long talk recently he told me that of course he notices when I am not well, but he figgures that treating me differently will only make it worse. I think he is right. As well I think that it would not be all too good for the relationship if we would always focus on that WD-topic. It is present enough as it is. 

Did you ever feel "ashamed" or not worthwhile for your wife? I sometimes feel so sorry that I can´t be the person that I used to be and then I am scared that he might not like this person that I am right now. But so far he is still the best:))) 

 

Wow, so you´ve had PLEASENT obsessive thoughts?!?!?!?!? I never knew those existed :D 
That´s good to know! I hope mine turn :D 

 

Awful mood swings yes - totally. Sometimes my mood would change 10 - 20 times a day, you never know how you feel within the next 30 minutes. 

Hmmmm SI thoughts...I don´t think that I really had them. I mean, when I had reaaallly bad depressive mood swings for a view days I would get that feeling of: Oh my god, I can´t do this anymore. And once or twice I might have thought: wow, everything would be so easy if I just would not exist anymore. But those would not stick in my head luckily. I imagine they must me terribly distressing! Are they similar to the obsessive thoughts for you? 

 

I am still in amazement that you always went to work! :))) 
That is inspiring! 

Best, 
Pepita

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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Why thank you :blush:

 

It is good to hear that you only had SI thoughts for a short period. I think they were the one of the worst symptoms to contend with in the early stages of WD.

 

I have never felt ashamed or not worthwhile for my wife, she has supported me 100% and for that I am eternally grateful.  It has been really tough on her and at times I have believed that things would not turn out for the best, but if the relationship is solid then you will get through it and become a stronger couple afterwards.

 

You'll definitely get to a state of normality, just take each day as it comes.

 

Namaste,

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

Link to comment

Hi DaddyCee, 

yes I am very glad I did not stick with those thoughts. 
But I have to admit that I am at the cliff of thinking about taking medication again the last view days:( 
They have been full with symptoms: depressive moods, sweating at night, heatflashes, panicky sweaty palms und feet when talking to people..

and today was tip of the top. I had an appointment with my tattoo artist. I made it a view months ago when I thought that WD would be much improved then. As symptoms were really bad yesterday, I texted him about my problem and that I am not sure If I can keep the appointment. At first he was very understanding and said I should decide until 9:30 pm. I told him I want to keep the appointment (because I really really wanted to..I was looking forward to progress with my sleeve) but the night was HOOORRRIBLE and I felt so depersonalized and weird that I knew tattooing just would make it worse. 
So I cancelled and because I felt so bad for cancelling I offered him to pay the session anyway. So I payed 300 EUR which is quite a lot for "nothing". 
Now I feel horrible because my healing is not more progressed by now. I feel horrible because I don´t know if it will ever / when it will get better. AND I feel horrible because I feel stupid that I paid that money and that he would just shamelessly take it. WAHHHHHH. 
I usually am as positive as I can be in this situation but today I think: I WANT THIS TO END. But I also don´t want to take any medication again. So I feel totally trapped in this awful nightmare. I am sorry for the whining but people around me can´t understand that much:( 

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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Hi Pepita.

 

I am really sorry to hear you are struggling. How long have you been off Escitalopram now?

 

I've just had a couple of quite bad days, but it is only to be expected as I still know that I am healing. I was on the meds for a long time and so half expect my journey to take around 3 - 4 years. Who knows though it might be sooner than that. I am definitely better than 12 months ago that is for sure.

 

If you are upset about giving the money then perhaps speak to the artist and say that it is payment for when you get the artwork done. If there is no cancellation policy then you shouldn't need to pay anything. I understand how you feel as if I make a judgement call even at work I often find myself questioning that call and sometimes regretting it, though it never turns out bad or serious. I just get in to a cycle which therapists call "catastrophic thinking".  If I ever find myself in that position I just try to find the positives, at the end what is the worst that could happen.  I could lose my job, but to be honest that might be a godsend.

 

Hold on in there..... just remind yourself you are healing.... this will come to pass and you will feel better soon.

 

Take care of yourself and have plenty of me time. Enjoy the sunshine :)

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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