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☼ Ayaa: waves are still there but it is getting better

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

Now it seems that my anxiety is constant. After so many years on SSRIs I am feeling scared living my life without them.

 

 

It seems that you know the cause of your anxiety. And if you know exactly what's causing the anxiety you can do something with it.

 

During withdrawal one of the most difficult things for me was to endure the feelings that come on for no apparent reason. I always used to know why I am depressed, anxious, angry, happy. For example, I can feel depressed because of a sad event or I feel anxious when I’m facing a challenging situation etc. But I am really confused if I can’t find a trigger or a ‘root’ cause of my negative feeling. The topic about ‘Neuro emotions’ helped me to deal with this kind of artificial emotions.

 

 

I cannot distinguish if the feelings I am having are a normal part of living without antidepressants or are withdrawal, or a combination.

 

 

I think it can be a combination of both: artificial neuro-emotions caused by withdrawal+the fear of real unpleasant emotions.

 

I am so use to the Prozac masking how I was feeling that now I am feeling all the emotions and it is somewhat difficult to handle.

 

 

Have you ever thought about talking with a psychologist about this problem? May be he could help you to cope with real emotions, find out the reasons of your fears and the way to deal with these problems.

 

By the way there’s well known method of therapy which is called ‘writing therapy’. I like it, because the formulation of the problem is often the first step to recovery. And sharing is also very important. As another old saying says:  A problem shared is a problem halved. And that’s what we are doing here in SA too :)


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa,

 

I would first like to thank you for all the help and suggestions that you have given me.  I greatly appreciate them. 

 

I think one of the main reasons I am scared is that the symptoms I am experiencing during withdrawal will not go away.  The nausea, from the delayed gastric emptying is really bothering me.  I can hardly eat.  It is awful.  Nothing helps with it.  The olfactory hallucinations are also getting to me, and the internal shaking.  All these physical symptoms are causing me to be scared and sad.  I have been nauseous for a year and I don't know how much more of it I can take. 

 

I have been seeing a psychologist since November and she has been wonderful.  I am learning mindfulness, but honestly when I am feeling so bad I am terrible at practicing it.  I know that is when I should be practicing it the most.  Thank you for sharing the writing therapy information.  I am going to check it out.  I have actually been journaling since this started but I think it is more of me complaining about how bad I feel. 

 

I have shared with a few friends about what I have been dealing with, with all the w/d.  They don't understand what I am going through.  My husband is sick of listening to me complain.  All I do is dwell on how bad I feel, which is probably making the w/d worse.  I do "allowing" techniques, but then sometimes I get to the point that I am sick of allowing and just want to be done with the w/d.  I know there are so many people suffering worse then me and I shouldn't complain all the time but that is what feeling so bad for so long has done to me.  Thanks for listening to me and being here for me!


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

I think the nausea is a common symptom in withdrawal, but I would also add that people who take Prozak develope this symptom very often. I started feeling sick  when I stopped Saphris (neuroleptic), which was taking care of my weight :blink:  (antipsychotics usually cause weight gain) and I was left with Prozak. I lost my appetite completely and started to loose weight very fast. Nausea did not disappear immediately after stopping Prozak. Some time later it was gone.

 

I have been seeing a psychologist since November and she has been wonderful.

 

 

The support of the good psychologist is very precious during withdrawal! I am happy that you found one :)

 

I am learning mindfulness, but honestly when I am feeling so bad I am terrible at practicing it. I know that is when I should be practicing it the most.

 

 

I don’t think you should blame yourself for it. The therapeutic applications based on mindfulness are great and helpful, but I think there are situations when it is not possible to be mindful. I can’t imagine a person who pinched his finger and then started to meditate instead of to scream. The same thing is happening during withdrawal. It is almost impossible (well, I’d have to be a superhuman!) to meditate on ‘comprehension and true happiness ‘, if I am suffering from mental and physical pain. Whenever I try  to be mindful (during the wave), the dialogs of psychiatrist and his patient from Chehov’s ‘Ward №6’ keep spinning in my mind. Here I found one with English subtitles:

 


 

 

They don't understand what I am going through. My husband is sick of listening to me complain.

 

 

I know how difficult it is. I wrote in November that I am avoiding all kinds of talks about health, because it seems that people can’t  understand me. Now things are changed and I can easily talk with some of my relatives and friends about my waves, withdrawal and so on. Not everyone understands what I am going through, but opening up to others let my emotions to go out and I feel much better.

 

I know there are so many people suffering worse then me and I shouldn't complain all the time but that is what feeling so bad for so long has done to me.

 

 

Why do you think that you should not complain? In my opinion, complaining can be very healthy, if it is done in reason and correctly. It can be a good idea to explain to relatives and friends what is happening with us during withdrawal. Here’s the useful topic about it: Helping Family Understand

 

Another person who is trying to understand you is your psychologist. And as I already wrote before, you can always come here to vent out the problems you are dealing with.


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa,

 

How long did it take your nausea to disappear?  I have no appetite, get filled up very quickly and have now lost 55 pounds.  I was diagnosed with Delayed Gastric Emptying in January and the gastro doctor did say it could be cause from going off the Prozac.  If that is the case I am hoping that it will go away over time.  I have never been a big eater, but I would like to eat a normal diet again. 

 

You are right about a good therapist being precious in withdrawal.  I am not sure where I would be without her.  She has really taught me so much.

 

Thank you for sharing the video with me.  I love your explanation about how you cannot always be mindful. 

 

I don't feel like I should complain because I know it could be worse.  I also feel like all I do is whine.  I know I need to have more self compassion for myself and I am learning to do that in therapy. 

 

I am glad to have the support of yourself and others on this forum.  I know that people can understand what I am going through here.  It is very hard when you don't feel like yourself.  I have always concerned myself a happy, witty, outgoing person but I certainly am not feeling that way now.  I feel like I am half the person that I use to be, but hopefully as each day passes I will become more like my old self.

 

And I wanted to say I am sorry I had not responded sooner.  A couple of weeks ago my husband found a lump on my golden retrievers leg.  Long story short they had to amputate her leg two weeks ago.  The lump they found was cancerous.  Needless to say I have been very sad, scared and depressed with this news.  I know it has set back my recovery.  I am happy we still have her and I am enjoying every moment with her. 


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

I am very sorry about what has happened to your dog. It is very hard to endure this situation even without withdrawal… It is really difficult time for you, but I am sure you’ll get through this. I’ll be thinking about you and your dog. I hope she will get better.

 

How long did it take your nausea to disappear? 

 

 

My nausea started during the time when I was on Prozak (few months). I was also experiencing nausea during my first big wave (4-5 months) after stopping meds. And during my big second wave it was present in milder form.

 

I have no appetite, get filled up very quickly and have now lost 55 pounds.  I was diagnosed with Delayed Gastric Emptying in January and the gastro doctor did say it could be cause from going off the Prozac.  If that is the case I am hoping that it will go away over time.  I have never been a big eater, but I would like to eat a normal diet again. 

 

 

Oh, I am so sorry about it. But I think your gastro doctor is right, it can be a withdrawal symptom. And if it is so this symptom will go away. I hope it will happen very soon.

 

I don't feel like I should complain because I know it could be worse.  I also feel like all I do is whine.  I know I need to have more self compassion for myself and I am learning to do that in therapy. 

 

 

I like your idea about self compassion. When we are in pain we are crying, complaining and looking for compassion. This is so human… Please, try to be kind to yourself and don’t blame yourself for negative thoughts and ‘whining’. It happens with everyone and there’s nothing wrong with it.

 

but hopefully as each day passes I will become more like my old self.

 

 

I hope each new day brings you closer to a full recovery. Don’t give up, you’ll get better soon!


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

Thank you for keeping my dog and me in your thoughts. It has been one month since she had her amputation. It is amazing how she has adapted to only having three legs. She doesn't even seem to notice that she is missing a leg. It is amazing.

 

I am still dealing with the nausea but I have actually had days where it is better. That has given me hope that it will go away as my body heals.

 

I am now dealing with a lot of anxiety. I have been dealing with internal shaking and I think that is causing my body to feel anxious. It is a constant feeling and I do not get any relief from it. I have also noticed that I do not handle stressful situations very well. Did you feel anxious during withdrawal? If so, what did you do to help yourself?

 

The other symptoms that are frustrating are the brain fog, lack of concentration and memory issues. I find myself "spacing out" a lot of the time. When I first went off Prozac I felt so much more alert then I do now. I feel like I have gone backwards. It's upsetting.

 

I am still struggling with the self compassion. I actually bought a book about self compassion and I have yet to read it. I don't know what is holding me back from reading it.

 

I am also still really dwelling on how I feel. I should take that energy and focus on something useful.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

Sorry for my late reply.  

 

Congratulations on the 1st year anniversary of stopping Prozac! I am also very happy that your dog is doing well! We can learn many life lessons from our pets. They are amazing creatures.

 

Did you feel anxious during withdrawal?

 

 

Yes, I did. Anxiety is one of the main symptoms of my waves.

 

 If so, what did you do to help yourself?

 

 

In the very beginning of WD I was occasionally taking benzodiazepine for this purpose, but later I stopped it… When I was feeling anxious or stressed I was trying to avoid certain type of places and situations. I know that many psychologists suggest dealing with the triggers (not escaping from them) during an anxiety attacks. May be this advice is good for people with common anxiety disorders, but anxiety during WD is very different. It’s a symptom, which will disappear when the wave will go away. If so, why should we waste our energy for ‘expanding comfort zone’? It will expand on its own when the wave goes away.

 

I actually bought a book about self compassion and I have yet to read it. I don't know what is holding me back from reading it.

 

 

I also had problems with reading during WD. I was not able to concentrate, could not focus my attention on text because of anxiety.  Brain fog was a great issue too… I could not comprehend what I read. When the wave was gone the situation changed. The brain fog, lack of concentration and memory issues – everything got better with recovery. Now I can read books and watch movies without any problem. I hope soon your wave will go away and you’ll be able to enjoy your new book!

 


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

Thank you for the congratulations. It has certainly been a hard/long journey.

 

Unfortunately I found another lump on my dog. I have had her at the vet and she is now on pain medicine and an anti-inflammatory. She seems better then she was last week, but I am very scared and upset. The lump has gone down in size and I pray it wasn't the cancer returning. I don't want to leave her because I want to spend as much time as possible with her.

 

I am still very anxious, I think it has been made worse because of how much I am worried about my dog. I have been trying some techniques to help with the anxiety but I haven't really found anything that works for me. When I would have panic attacks I would avoid the place where I had the attack. I feel now with my anxiety that I am avoiding doing things and I feel like I am setting myself up. I feel like I am going to learn that I don't want to go certain places because they might make me feel anxious.

 

I feel like life was so much easier on Prozac. Nothing seemed to bother me and I "felt" happy all the time. I can't tell you the last time I actually felt happy. That is the one thing I miss from being on Prozac. When I go through times like this I think about going back on some AD but I know that is not the answer. Like most people I want an easy fix. I know all stress in my life is making things that much harder right now.

 

I hope you are doing well.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

I am so sorry about your dog. I hope the new lump is not related to the cancer. How is she doing now?

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

 

Thanks for asking! In the end of August I got a very short wave with mild fibromyalgia symptoms. It lasted for 3-4 days and disappeared. Thank God.

 

I can understand your feelings about coming off the meds… When I am in trouble I also want a ‘quick fix’ and dream about the magic pill. But Prozac and other AD’s have nothing to do with magic, all these meds are evil. Like any other evil they promise a lot, but never deliver. We expect relief and happiness, but instead we get more problems and disappointments.

 

Please, hang in there and stay strong.

 


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

Thanks for asking about my dog. She seems to be doing okay. I think the pain medicine and anti-inflammatory medicine she is on is helping her. It has now been two months since her amputation. She seems to still get tired easily. I am thinking the pain medicine is also contributing to making her tired.

 

I am glad to hear that the fibromyalgia symptoms only lasted 3-4 days. I hope those symptoms do not return.

 

Thank you very much for reminding me that ADs are evil. I needed to hear that and I need to be reminded of it, especailly when I am having a bad day. I know they are not the answer. It is just tough because I am being flooded with emotions that I am not use to feeling. At times it was easier being numb to my feelings, but I guess that wasn't really living.

 

I hope that all of us going through withdrawal will be stronger for it.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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dowdaller

Great thread just going through my 10 month wave, I have been feeling poorly since 10 months off, this thread has given me some hope, thanks.


I am off all meds 16 months I had been on olanzapine, Effexor zanex and assorted sleeping meds for approx 2 years.

Weaned off 375 mg effexor over two years, I had previously come off xanax, rivotrill and olazapine. Reinstated 75mg of effexor on the 22/12/16

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I just wrote this on my intro page and wanted to share with you because you have always given me great advice. I apologize for taking over your intro page, but I could really use some help.

 

I will reach my 13 month being off Prozac in two days. I find myself really struggling with the constant crying and overwhelming sadness I am feeling. I cannot find that happy median. I am either very sad and depressed or very angry. I don't feel like I am dealing with my emotions very well. I am finding I am having a hard time connecting with my family. I feel distant from them. I think that is causing me to feel more sad and hurt. I don't know how to make it better.

 

I have also been feeling very guilty about all the things I didn't do or that I let go while being on Prozac. It is a constant reminder of what that medicine did to me. I regret taking it, especially for so many years. I have no motivation to do the things that need to get done and those things I let go while being on Prozac. How can I motivate to do things I need to do when I can't even motivate to do the things I want to do.

 

I am wondering and seeming this could be a wave that I am in. I just want to be my old me, but I know the old me was someone who was drugged, I miss my happy self. The person who was outgoing and witty. How would anyone want to be around me when I don't want to be around myself.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

I apologize for taking over your intro page, but I could really use some help.

 

 

Please, don’t apologize, actually you’re keeping my page alive :) I guess it would be empty if we did not talk here.

 

I am very glad, that your dog is doing ok. I'm not surprised that she gets tired easily after such a serious surgery and of course the pain medicines can also affect her activity. I hope soon she will feel better.

 

I am wondering and seeming this could be a wave that I am in.

 

 

It seems you’re in a new wave. As scallywag and SG wrote in your thread, many people experience a big wave around 1 year mark. I also experienced it last year and it seemed to be a real nightmare. But it passed and actually it was a last big wave I had. This year I have had few micro-waves, they lasted just for a few days (sometimes hours) and I can’t even compare them with the 1st and 2d waves.

 

I am not sure I’m able to offer a good tip for coping with the feeling ‘it won't get any better’. When I am in the normal state of mind everything seems to be clear and simple. But when I am depressed I don’t believe that the way I’m feeling right now will change. Last time it happened to me in April, during a wave which lasted about a week. I had a sudden hit of depression, it came out of nowhere. I turned into a zombie mode and could not think about anything except ‘this wave is the worst’ and ‘it won't get any better’.  The funny thing is that only a few hours earlier I was trying to encourage my depressed friend. I was reminding him about artificial neuro-emotions, ‘depression as a part of withdrawal’ etc. All these arguments seemed to be very convincing to me at that moment (and I was sure it should help him), but in a depressed state of mind everything changed. I was repeating to myself the same things, but they didn’t work at all. I was feeling that I suddenly fell into another universe where logic literally doesn’t exist and  rational thinking is not working…  How was I helping myself? I was trying to focus on the idea that this is abnormal state of mind and I shouldn’t believe my feelings and emotions right now. ‘The universe where I currently inhabit is twisted therefore my thinking, feelings and emotions can be twisted too. If I feel now like ‘it will never end’ it doesn’t mean it will happen so’ - that’s what I was trying to keep in my mind. I think it helped me to overcome this situation.

 

I have no motivation to do the things that need to get done and those things I let go while being on Prozac. How can I motivate to do things I need to do when I can't even motivate to do the things I want to do.

 

 

If you don’t want to do something, just leave it. You can do it a bit later. And don’t blame yourself for it. You did not choose this negative state of mind, being in this situation is not your fault. This is a part of WD and when it will pass you’ll be able to get back your active, witty and outgoing old self :)


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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Ayaa

Dowdaller,

 

Thanks for your input! I’m sorry to hear you’re in a new wave. Please, be patient and keep your hope.

 

I hope very soon you’ll get better!


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I am glad that I am keeping your page alive.

 

The joys of a new wave. I guess it makes it a little easier knowing it is a wave. It just makes it tough because you do not have any idea how long it will last. In my earlier days of withdrawal I would ask how long this would last, but I know better now because we are all different.

 

I agree that in a depressed state of mind everything changes, it is hard to think rationally. Your mind goes into a dark hole and it is hard to get out of it. Even telling myself this isn't "me" it is the symptoms of withdrawal doesn't help. Everyday your mind is in a battle. Going through withdrawal isn't for the weak, but going through withdrawal makes you weak.

 

Over the past couple of days I have had bad bouts of anger. It is a combination of anger and rage. I wake up this way and it last all day. I feel like I just want to punch something. I have tried to meditate to see if it helps but it doesn't. When I wake up I am either very sad or very anger. I cannot wait until I wake up am I am just happy. No extreme emotion. Just calm and happy.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa
In my earlier days of withdrawal I would ask how long this would last, but I know better now because we are all different.

 

 

It is so true, we really are all very different. No one can say how long the wave will last… But one thing is for sure  - it will end at some point. This idea keeps me motivated.

 

Someone else wrote about coping with emotional and physical symptoms of withdrawal, I like this article:

 

How long do SSRI withdrawal symptoms last?

 


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I am continuing to try and remind myself that this withdrawal will come to an end. I am still struggling with the reawakening of all my emotions.

 

The regret and guilt I feel lately has really gotten me down. I am really regretting all the things I let go while taking Prozac, because I didn't care about anything while on it. Now I care and all those things I didn't do are causing me a great amount of anxiety, anger and sadness.

 

I was at an event this past weekend where I saw kids I haven't seen in years that are now in college. I know everyone ages and grows up but it really bothered me. Maybe it is a reflection that I am also getting older and I spent the past 12+ years being drugged and not really living my life. I know I cannot get back those years, but I don't know how to move forward. I think part of it is also watching my own child getting older. It is like it happened over night. I'm not dealing with this very well.

 

Have you dealt with regret and guilt during withdrawal? What helped you get past it?


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I wanted to let you know that on Wednesday October 12th my beloved golden retriever passed away. I am devasted. She had been doing better and then Wednesday night she collapsed and passed away. I do not know what I am going to do without her. She has been my comfort while going through withdrawal. I am really struggling to get through the days without her. I know I need to be strong for my family but that seems nearly impossible right now. All I keep thinking is that I want her back, but I know that is impossible.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved friend… I’ve always had cats and dogs, so I’ve been through this experience many times... And every time it was very painful. Few years ago our cat went out and never came back. I was absolutely grief stricken by the sudden loss and could not cope with the situation. I knew that the death is a part of life and eventually I have to deal with it. But when it happened I felt that I’m not prepared and I want more time with him… My kids were also feeling very depressed. Once my daughter said that the most unbearable thought of all was that they’ll never see their friend again (someone told her before that animals don’t have soul and she was very upset about it). Every day they were asking me the questions: Where is our cat now? Where do the animals go after they die? Will we meet them again? I don’t have answers to these questions, but I believe that God is merciful to all His creatures. If there’s a place for people it means there will be a place for those whom they loved in this life. I believe that our pets in afterlife will be met by someone like The Lion Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia. And he will say to them:

 

61f7a3ac4bf9.jpg

 

Later my kids decided to re-watch the movie (The Chronicles of Narnia) and at the last episode – when the Reepicheep is leaving for Aslan's country - they burst into tears with relief. The pain of loss was not gone, but they got a hope to see their friend again.

 

 

I am sending you a big warm hug.


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

Tomorrow will be three weeks since our golden passed away.  I still believe that I am in shock.  I am beginning to finally pack away her toys and other belongings.  Everyday is hard and I miss her so much.  Thank you for sharing the story from the Chronicles of Narnia.  I have actually never seen the movie, but I am planning on watching it. 

 

Going through withdrawal without her has been hard.  She always provided me with such great comfort and now that comfort is no longer there.  I have noticed since she has passed away that I have developed new withdrawal symptoms.  I have started having weird head sensations.  My head and face are tingling.  I have also notice light sensitivity, especially when I am driving.  I have had several big meltdowns over the past couple of weeks because of how bad I have felt.  I know it could be worse, but I also know it could be better.  I am not sure if I am in a new wave, an existing wave but I know I haven't felt a window in a long time.  I am having a hard time pushing through right now. 

 

Thank you for the big warm hug.  I greatly appreciate it.   


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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NaturalBorn

hello i read that in 1992 you had a short drug cocktail expirience and recovered pretty well, do you recall wich meds were you on at that time? were they switched while you were in there? could you talk a little about that expirience, because i'm also polydrugged and it's really scaring me, since i went on the cocktail AFTER a traumatic cold turkey, wich probably can make everything worse


(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

Sorry for my late reply. I’ve been in a wave for about a month. It wasn’t as bad as last year (the same time – November), but this time in addition to my insomnia, headache and fatigue I’ve got a new symptom – an eye twitching. It seems it is calming down now. And other symptoms are slowly getting better too.

 

I am so sorry that you have developed new withdrawal symptoms. I had tingling, numbness and some weird sensations in head for a long time. It got better this summer (although during the wave I’ve experienced some of these symptoms again). Light sensitivity (and sounds too) has been one of my worst symptoms. Whenever I go outside I wear dark glasses, and if light disturbs me in the night I wear a sleep mask. I think it’s a typical w/d symptom, check this topic, please: Overstimulation and Increased Sensitivity to Light, Sound etc.

 


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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Ayaa

NB, hello.

 

Yes, I had a short drug cocktail experience in 1992, but I don't remember exactly all drugs I was given at that time. I know exactly about Haloperidol, Amitriptylinum and Cyclodol. It seems Diazepam (Valium) was also there, but I’m not sure.

 

were they switched while you were in there?

 

 

I think I was switched from Haloperidol to another neuroleptic, but I can’t recall which one.

 

I can’t say that my withdrawal in 1992 was painless. After quitting cold turkey I had lots of emotional problems, insomnia and parkinsonism. Аfter a few months it got better.

 

I am very sorry that you’re going through such a terrible experience. I hope you’ll successfully taper all your drugs and recover from all w/d symptoms. Hang in there, please!

 


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I am sorry to hear that you have been in another wave, but glad it hasn't been as bad as a year ago.  I hope the eye twitching resolves itself very quickly. 

 

Thank you for sharing the topic on light sensitivity.  I have had that during my withdrawal.  I really notice it during the afternoon when the sun is at its brightest.  My eyes are sensitive to the sun normally so I always wear sunglasses. 

 

It amazes me that I am now 15 months off the medicine and I am still developing new withdrawal symptoms.  I guess it is better to be dealing with the withdrawal symptoms then the side effects of being on the medicine. 

 

I had two days where I wasn't experience any internal shaking and I had this feeling of calm.  Is that what is feels like to be in a window?  That was the first time I haven't had internal shaking in 15 months.  It was wonderful.  Of course it is back now. 

 

The olfactory hallucinations I have are still very strong.  I have been dealing with that symptom for a year.  I was hoping my brain would have adjusted by now and that symptom would be a distant memory.   


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

Thank you very much, I feel much better now, though some symptoms still bother me. I hope they will go away soon.
 

 

It amazes me that I am now 15 months off the medicine and I am still developing new withdrawal symptoms. 

 

 

I am not surprised at all that the new symptoms still appear this far out. I think it’s absolutely normal in WD. Please, do not worry about it. Try to stay calm and don’t let these symptoms scare you. They come and go away.

 

I very much agree that it is better to be dealing with the WD symptoms than with the side effects of medicines. Both of them are no pleasant, but now we’re on the way to recovery (it makes a very big difference for me!). I believe that our CNS is healing itself and the day when we’ll be WD symptoms-free is not far away.

 

I had two days where I wasn't experience any internal shaking and I had this feeling of calm.  Is that what is feels like to be in a window?  That was the first time I haven't had internal shaking in 15 months.  It was wonderful.  Of course it is back now. 

 

 

It sounds like you had a small window and I am very happy that you’ve found it  :)  Don’t worry that it disappeared so fast. In the beginning the windows are small and short, but over time they’ll become more frequent and longer.

 

I hope the New Year brings us complete healing. May we all get back our health and happiness!


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. That is wonderful news.

 

I am trying my best not to let the withdrawal symptoms scare me but some days it is difficult not to be scared. I have noticed that some of my symptoms have improved so that is promising. My anxiety is still really bad. That is the one symptom that I have seen getting worse. It is probably how I am thinking about things that is causing me more trouble. I think I have developed a bad habit of being negative, I am working on changing that thought process.

 

What a wonderful thought of complete healing. I will toast to health and happiness for us in 2017!


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

I wanted to ask how long did you have smell issues?  I am 16 months off Prozac and I am still having the smell issues.  It is very frustrating.  I am having a hard time allowing and accepting them. 


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Ayaa

O2bhappy,

 

I am ok now, it seems the wave has gone.

 

I’m so sorry you’re still dealing with the smell issues. I know how it can be annoying and frustrating. I had this symptom for more than a year. First time I experienced those phantom smells while taking Prozak. After quitting all meds I had the smell issues during the waves. I can’t say that I was dealing with it constantly, the smell used to appear in the mornings and evenings. And I noticed that it was increasing when I was dealing with water or humidity was very high.

 

Now I don’t have olfactory hallucinations, and I didn’t have them during my last wave too. Last week I had to travel to the area with extreme humidity and I was afraid to get this smell back. But thank God nothing happened. I hope this symptom is gone forever.

 

I believe that olfactory hallucination is a symptom, and I am sure it goes away.  It took more than a year for me, but I was taking Prozak just for few months. If you were taking this drug for years, may be it needs more time to heal. I don’t know how long it will take,  but one day it will definitely disappear. Please, be patient  and try not to worry about it (I know it is very hard, but you still try! – stress can increase this symptom). I wish you get relief from this and all other symptoms very soon.


1992 - Antidepressants, Antipsychotics and benzodiazepines in hospital for about 1,5 month, with PTSD diagnosed. Then I abruptly stopped taking pills. W/d for few months and then no symptoms for many years.

2013 – Doctor prescribes Paxil, Amitriptyline, Risperidone due to insomnia, anxiety and weight loss. Then it starts a long story about changing diagnosis and adding/changing meds. I started to taper in December 2014. Severe withdrawal symptoms for  4 months. Then the 1st window.

April 2015 – meds free. June, July – the first big window which lasted until mid-October. Then a wave again, but this time with new strange symptoms I’ve never had before.

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O2bhappy

Ayaa -

 

I am glad to hear that your wave is gone.  Hopefully another wave doesn't return.

 

It is very frustrating especially since there is nothing I can do about it.  I find myself crying a lot about the smell. 

 

I pray for the day it disappears.  It is hard to be patient.  I am sure the stress is increasing the bad smells.  I can't wait for the day that this is just a very bad memory.  I just don't know how much longer I can take it. 


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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