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AprilShowers: My Story, My Nightmare, My Hopes For Recovery

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AprilShowers

Hi, you can call me AprilShowers. 

 

I was put on Venlafaxine (Effexor) in the millenium due to a period of depression. Was on it two years and tapered off with no problem and gradually depression got managable and life went on. Then my mother died of cancer and my depression came back more suicidal and severe. I tried citalopram with horrible side effects and continuous suicidal feelings before being changed to venlafaxine which had worked for me before. And it worked again, more or less. I got stabilised and although it took a long time the suicidal thoughts receded and I just had bad depression. 

 

Last year after five years on venlafaxine I was having bad heart palpitations and my psychiatrist thought it might be beneficial to change medications as I thought it might be being caused by being on an SNRI. I switched to mirtazapine which I was on a couple of weeks and felt good at first before it made me very suicidal. Panicing and needing to not feel that way anymore I stopped taking it cold turkey. After I began to have withdrawal issues I tried to get onto prozac (fluoxetine) in the hope that it would help, it didn't, it exacerbated the symptoms. I was in full withdrawal syndrome, massive dumps of cortisol turned my body to acid, I was urinating blood, I couldn't eat or sleep and the shakes were exhausting. It was completely debilitating and I did little but lay on the sofa for five months trying to distract myself with TV shows. Life got a little better in increments and with the help of this site which I read without joining I was able to understand what was happening to me and try to support my body. I thought maybe I'd been lucky to have gotten through this and was hoping to build my life back to some semblance of normal. I managed to get back to the point I'd been on while I was on the antidepressants. Still depressed, still not coping well with life but able to function a bit. I had hoped to build on that. 

 

A couple of weeks ago I started getting mad anxiety, possibly triggered by the shock of the news of terrorist attacks in Paris although I guess if I'm honest I was feeling a bit overwhelmed before that. Whatever happened, I was having a hard time and took a couple of small doses of lorazepam two nights running to get some sleep and mellow the panicy feelings. Of course they got worse after that and now I have the full cortisol dumping into my system again and I'm back on the sofa wishing for a different life and a better body. I've been in touch with my care co-ordinator who isn't seeing me until next week and she says that without me being willing to take medication there's not much she can do. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow to try to rule out any underlying medical reasons (I had an infection before all this happened and have recently become diabetic, have PCOS and have had previous anemias, heart palpitations and thyroid blips) but I'm not holding out much hope and unsure how to try an explain to the doc what is happening with cortisol dumping into my body. I know all they can offer for the symptoms is lorazepam or similar drugs and I think that would just make my problem worse. 

 

The early morning shuddering and feeling of waking in abject terror is the pits, the shudders are exhausting, like parkinsons and then taper off during the day but still with a low level of tremor and feeling of panic. I've got no saliva, I go hot and cold, my stomach is acid, I'm wetting myself with the level of fear hormones in my system and am having to wear pads and I'm constantly going to the bathroom, I'm not doing very well at all. The fact that this is happening for the second time is extremely disappointing, I've had thoughts of not wanting to live like this. I feel very alone, I live alone and I'm scared of losing all I've gained. I'm here to find hope. I need to give this awful life I'm forced into some value and give myself some value. After five years living on benefits, trying to overcome depression and not really coping with life I feel like I have nowhere to turn but here to find people who believe and understand what I'm going through.  

 

I am desperate to believe this is just a blip and won't last as long as before but it's been getting worse every day like the reverse of when it happened the first time when it was very bad and I gradually felt relief. I'm finding it hard to trust I will recover. I have nothing to do but hope I can again. 

 

Supplements

I take omega 3 in a high dose which has helped me manage my depression.

vitamin C

magnesium with calcium.

Occasional other supplements. 

Am thinking of just stopping all but the omega 3. 

 

 

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pocketnurse

Hi April

Just read your post and I am so sorry you feel so bad. I am certainly no expert but he moderators on here excellent and will no doubt be along to offer advice. Do you have any family or friends to support you? Are you able to get out and do shopping etc? It is important to remember that how you feel right now won't last forever and you will come out the other side, I understand you don't believe that right now but there are numerous stories on here of people who have recovered. 

Three years ago after tapering too fast I experienced the worst depression ever, I was unable to work for two months, couldn't leave the house, didn't clean my teeth for over a week and had thoughts of leaving this planet! At that point I never thought I would ever be back at work and able to function but here I am. I still have bad days and sometimes its tough but recovery is possible. CBT helped me a lot so if it isn't something you have ever had I would strongly suggest you talk to your care worker. The events in Paris have had a profound affect on most people and have provoked a lot of anxiety. I still avoid really bad stuff in the news as i find my ability to deal with it really hard at times. Right now you need to focus on anything and everything positive no matter how small it is, birdsong, a beautiful sunset as depression robs us of seeing anything other than misery.

You will get help on this site as there is so much support.

 

Sending much love

PN x

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dalsaan

Hi AprilShowers

 

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are struggling. I'm wondering, have you tried any non drug ways of dealing with what you are experiencing. I'm thinking of yoga, meditation etc. if not perhaps you could try a bit of qi gong

 

 

Also, can I ask that you put an abbreviated version of your drug history in your signature along with your current supplements and there doses. Details on how to do that are here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Dalsaan

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bubble

Hello AprilShowers from me too.

 

You are very strong to have survived all that. I think this is just a blip as you say and things will get better soon.

 

I like your nick a lot and I'm glad you have decided to share your story.

 

I just want to add that magnesium should be taken without calcium which annuls its effect.

 

Best,

Bubble

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KarenB

Welcome AprilShowers,

 

Just wanted to empathise with you feeling all that pain and despair right now - no on should have to go through that.  I'm also really happy that you are here so you can find your way through it.  And you will be able to.

 

Those doctors have really put you through it, making you more and more sensitised to drugs each time they add a new one.  Now is the time for your central nervous system to have some proper care and rest.  So if they try to give you more drugs tomorrow, please come back here first and see what the mods think before you take anything   

 

Are you taking Vitamin E to help your body use the omegas?   

 

Depending on how long ago you stopped your meds, reinstatement may be an option for helping you to stabilise - but the mods will know more about that.  Getting stable is everything right now. 

 

Wishing you peace,

Hugs,

KarenB

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AprilShowers

Thank you. Signature amended. I'm just understanding the extra supplements by reading about them today so will have to add some vitamin e and take away the calcium to better support my body. Unfortunately not getting out very far at the moment but I think I'll manage, can get shopping delivered and there's a corner shop if I can get myself out for a short walk. My family are at a bit of distance so I'm kind of on my own for now. 

 

Your support is very gratefully received and gives me some hope to cling to. Thank you all. I'm hanging in there.  I shall try some of that Qi Gong. 

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KT38

Hi! I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I'm 7.5 months off and it is a living H3ll every day.  In your signature, it says you had 5 months of withdrawal and then you had a good 1.5 years and then withdrawal hit again?  If so, did you add any new supplements or take any meds (i.e. antibiotics) within 6 months of your relapse?  And were you using the benzo consistently and then stopped? 

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AprilShowers

Hi! I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I'm 7.5 months off and it is a living H3ll every day.  In your signature, it says you had 5 months of withdrawal and then you had a good 1.5 years and then withdrawal hit again?  If so, did you add any new supplements or take any meds (i.e. antibiotics) within 6 months of your relapse?  And were you using the benzo consistently and then stopped? 

Hi KT38, sorry it's so awful for you right now. I hadn't done anything new no, except I think it was a mistake to take the benzo which I only took very rarely and made things worse this time. I don't think I was totally healed the 1.5 years but I could basically function though not well enough to work. I hope things gradually improve for you. 

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KT38

My last benzo was 5 months ago (I took it rarely, too) and I am really bad off right now.  I wonder if maybe I am now officially getting hit with a benzo withdrawal at the same time.  It looks like you took them a couple weeks ago and then you got worse after?  It just blows my mind that you were functional for 1.5 years and now withdrawal is hitting you hard again.  It might have been the stressor, too.  Who knows.  This whole withdrawal thing is an absolute nightmare and hope you recover soon!

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Rachelina

Hi AprilShowers, just wanted to say hello because your wave sounds so much like where I am right now. The early morning waking in terror, the shaking and tremor, the constant fear, the feeling it's getting worse every day. I've never been so scared in my life. But I do have faith it's going to end, it has to. Our bodies and minds have amazing inner healing mechanisms that are at work right now.....it's just a matter of giving them time to do their work and bring our systems back into balance. I have found EFT helpful, as well as doing a relaxing 4-2-8 breath (inhale to a count of 4, hold for 2, exhale 8). And that qi gong exercise above was lovely too. None of this addresses the actual problem but it does soothe me a bit and keep me from increasing the terror with second fear (the fears that you have about your symptoms). Oh, and labeling all the catastrophic thoughts like "this is never going to end, I'm stuck in this forever" etc. Acknowledge that fear, but don't believe the thoughts. They're just thoughts. Thinking of you and hoping you get some relief soon. 

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AprilShowers

Thanks Rachelina. I think that secondary fear is a very real one for all of us. I'm sorry you're feeing this way too. 

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AprilShowers

I've been re-reading all your comments to me, and telling myself that this will get better. You are all stars. I'm realising reading other parts of the forum that I wasn't as 'recovered' as I thought I was before this latest bout happened. A lot of things that I thought were just me were still post withdrawal problems, such as awful heart palpitations that left me feeling weak and debilitated, stress incontinence and wretching in the mornings, sinus problems etc. I'm very afraid that I've broken myself for good this time and kicking myself for reaching for lorazepam when I was feeling bad because what i feel now is so much worse. 

 

I'm struggling to get past the corner shop right now so while I have food getting better supplements is going to have to wait. Not ideal. This forum has really been keeping me going thank you. 

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JanCarol

Hey April - 

 

I've been diagnosed with a thing called "adrenal fatigue."  Some here would say that's a bogus diagnosis, but in my case it may apply since I have no ovaries or thyroid to produce the hormones I need, so my adrenals are overworked (and I am deeply fatigued).

 

Yoga and Qi Gong are awesome for the adrenals.  It is important to quit all caffeine and stimulants - or at least cut them way back.  Sugar is supposed to be damaging, though it's hard for me to give that one up entirely.  My herbalist has me on sunflower seeds (lecithin) to help with spikes.  Some people take Phosphatidyl Serine, but some people find it too stimulating.  The sunflower seeds contain Phosphatidyl Choline, which is helpful, and in food - less activating than a supplement.

 

I think you are too far out from the SNRI's to recommend a reinstatement, so maybe you will look at what others say about cortisol, and what helps them:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/33-waking-with-panic-or-anxiety-managing-cortisol-spikes/

 

Please be patient with yourself, you may be very sensitive for awhile (you were likely sensitive before!).  If you can "tone down" your life - I don't know what your life is like - but less TV (especially news), less traffic, less violence in movies, less loud noise, fewer bright lights - it may soothe your system.  It's okay, this will pass.  Be gentle, patient, and kind to yourself.

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apace41

I've been diagnosed with a thing called "adrenal fatigue."  Some here would say that's a bogus diagnosis, but in my case it may apply since I have no ovaries or thyroid to produce the hormones I need, so my adrenals are overworked (and I am deeply fatigued).

 

JC,

 

Anybody who thinks "adrenal fatigue" is bogus has been living under a rock and... well... prescribing ADs and benzos.  :blink:

 

The things that come out of the "functional" medicine world, like adrenal fatigue, are real and need to be addressed to have true health. 

 

Sorry to hijack your thread at all AprilShowers but it struck a chord with me!  :P

 

Hope you are feeling okay today, AS.

 

Andy

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AprilShowers

Thanks. I'm still pretty rough and having trouble eating. Horrible shaking in the morning etc. heart palpitations & weakness. Doctor won't even check my cortisol because I'm not sleeping. She wanted me to take lorazepam even after I told her it had made me much worse.

 

It has gotten less severe though and I'm getting windows in the evening. The anxiety is the worst though. I can't get out past the corner shop. My dad is coming to visit next week to give me some support as it may be a stressful week. I'm trying to recognise neuro emotion isn't my real emotion. It's still very hard to bypass the anxiety though.

 

I guess I'll just hang in there and hope. No choice really. I think now that when I thought I was partially recovered from last time I was actually still having a lot of symptoms that I'd chalked up to depression or surmised might be some other illness. I will have to be gentler to myself in future.

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Altostrata

Welcome, AprilS.

 

How long have you been off venlafaxine? When did you take that one Prozac pill?

 

It sounds to me that you are getting paradoxical reactions from the benzo you've tried. Your system is hypersensitive to drugs right now.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/
 

You may find this interesting One theory of antidepressant withdrawal syndrome

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AprilShowers

Thank you Alto. I think so too even though it was such a small amount. 

 

I've been off venlafaxine since early spring 2014, it's all a bit hazy to be honest, it happened so quickly. 

 

I was having no ease of depression and terrible heart palpitations on venlafaxine, hadn't been feeling well for ages, so the doctor tapered me off over a two or three week period and tried other meds. I went through sertraline for a few days but it turned my insides to liquid and then mirtazapine that lifted the depression for a week made me very mentally 'switched on' (I signed up for about 12 online university courses, very out of character for me) and then the drug made me extremely suicidal, thoughts of killing myself on a loop for no reason and growing stronger. I didn't feel like the thoughts were coming from me that time.

 

I saw an emergency psychiatrist (not my usual one) who agreed that as I'd tapered off the venlafaxine and hadn't been on this one for long I should just stop taking it before I acted on the thoughts, something that was a very real risk for me. I ended up in CT withdrawal that did not feel very good. In attempts to stabilise the withdrawal I tried to go back to venlafaxine which made things bad again and tapered off over a week then massive heart palpitations and then tried prozac which my normal psychiatrist said was a more stable drug not affecting the noradrenaline.

 

I tried to reinstate antidepressants with that prozac but with two hours of starting it set my head and body on fire and I couldn't take any more I was in the most severe withdrawal, body like acid, urinating blood, shaking like I had parkinsons all the time for weeks and weeks and then gradually got windows at an earlier point each day. I got through the first bit with a couple of weeks of lorazepam after which I stopped  and just used it lorazepam periodically maybe once or once or twice a month to cope with more stressful days. I never shook off the feeling of dread on waking and heart palpitations/weakness and had lots of health and anxiety/depression problems that were withdrawal I believe now but I was chalking them up to poor health and depression.

 

I still wasn't able to work but I was able to function day to day with support without the antidepressants and could get out and get to my family and stuff. I'd hardly taken any lorazepam for ages before this last bout of panic where I took half a tablet. .05 for two nights running to sleep and calm my agitation. Whether this withdrawal wave was coming anyway as the anxiety had built up in me or whether I caused it by reaching for lorazepam I don't know but my last antidepressant was around last March and now obviously the lorazepam has proved paradoxical too.

 

Whatever happens now I think I have to do it without reaching for any drugs without trying to reinstate anything. I'm just far too sensitive and too afraid of what these 'medications' are able to do to me. I feel I've lost 18 months of heard earned ground with no guarantee that I'll be able to recover to the same level again. In short, I can't quite believe I am back here and cursing my lot right now as I go through this nightmare all over again. I guess I have some work to do on my acceptance. The doctors still won't believe it's not all in my head. 

 

The shaking has gotten milder at least, omega 3 are proving good for calming and I'm now taking vitamin E to metabolise it correctly. I got some Magnesium without calcium added to it but I found myself very shaky after it so maybe it's a little soon for that. Money issues probably mean I should keep supplements to a minimum anyway. Probiotics may help, I'm trying one some nights to see if I get less severe symptoms the next morning and thinking maybe a little but I'm not entirely sure. I need to let my system calm down, it's hard to tell what's helping when I'm so sick, I cant even eat properly. I am getting small windows at night now, though recovery is a little more erratic this time and the windows don't feel as relieving as last year. Early days probably. 

Edited by KarenB
added paragraph breaks for readability

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Altostrata

Good to hear you are having a little bit of relief.

 

Yes, I agree, you are highly sensitized to the drugs and probably many supplements, too.

 

In the meantime, you might find learning meditation to be helpful. It can calm the nervous system from within.

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KarenB

This is probably the thread for you right now:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

and also this thread about the Vagus nerve.  I've used the info in those two threads to help me become a lot more able to cope with w/d, and also to feel a lot better within myself - happier, hopeful etc. 

 

I just kept building up my tools until I felt I had enough support woven around me that I could manage okay.  I think of it like a bird making a nest, bringing back more and more twigs and feathers and weaving them into a strong place to live.  And I still keep an eye out for more feathers I could add. 

 

Your small windows are a good sign on hope - wishing your more of them.

KarenB

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AprilShowers

Thank you. I'm hanging in here. 

 

I'm just going to drop this link for guided meditation recordings here in case it's of use to others. I've been using them on and off since my psychologist brought me into a group meditation course earlier this year. When I was not so sick I didn't do it regularly really but I did find I achieved more when I had meditated that day. Now that I've had more severe symptoms again they're proving much more beneficial to get through the morning parkinsonism type symptoms. Those shakes are the pits. 

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AprilShowers

I'm struggling a bit this week. I'd had some improvement and then the shakes got real bad again. Last time I had a more steady improvement and this time things seem more erratic. I still don't understand why, when I took such a small dose of lorazepam, that I've had such severe withdrawal again. Could it be that because it was a small dose it's healing faster and therefore more withdrawal effects than before? Or might I have done myself some permanent damage? Any thoughts? 

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KT38

I wish I knew AprilShowers.  These meds are such poison.  I was only on a short time and it has blown my mind.

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KarenB

Whatever happens now I think I have to do it without reaching for any drugs without trying to reinstate anything. I'm just far too sensitive and too afraid of what these 'medications' are able to do to me.

 

 

There, you have all the wisdom you need inside yourself :)

 

You haven't done permanent damage - your brain is just as capable of healing as it ever was.  It's just bumps in the roads as the healing happens.  It could be worse this time because each 'event' adds on cumulatively to the last, so your CNS is dealing with more this time round.   

 

Hang in there, do as many soothing things as you can.

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AprilShowers

Thanks Karen, it's hard to know what I'm doing right or wrong at the moment, it's so exhausting and I'm not sure what I'm doing right or wrong when it's so random whether I feel better or worse. 

 

KT, it's awful I know. I guess we just have to hang in there and hope. I'm finding it hard to accept right now. 

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AprilShowers

I started inositol only a week ago it seems but I appear to have turned a corner. Sleeping a bit better in the mornings although finding it harder to get to sleep at night (am taking it a bit earlier now to see if that helps). Just taking 1/4 teaspoon because any more was making me feel a little drugged but I think I've acclimatised to it now because I'm not feeling that so much now. A relatively small amount of anxiety and lorazepam set off this very severe withdrawal that's lasting months and I'm not sure what the inositol has done to settle it again but I'm immensely grateful that it's less intense. I think it works on sensitising the dopamine receptors as well as serotonin receptors so maybe that was where my problems were stemming from. Not shaking so much in the mornings and being able to eat a little is great. I've just come from the doctor's office and I've lost 20lbs going through this and my kidney filtration is a little clunky, probably she thinks due to lack of exercise because I've been so weak. Trying to get out walking a bit more although only short distances at the moment as I'm still not doing all that great. I almost don't want to speak too soon as I don't know if this will even last but I do feel a lot better and think I might have turned a corner. I would like to thank you all for the advice and support while things were intensely bad. Fingers crossed I can build on this small recovery and gradually get back to my pre-crisis level of coping. 

 

That said, I did just get talked into having a flu jab so I hope that doesn't set me back. Still, I guess it's better than risking getting a proper flu infection, I don't think I could cope with a dose of that right now.

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KarenB

Sounds encouraging April, just keep going gently.  Let your self-care be a platform that you can't fall past.

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keepinghope

Hi AprilShowers, I read your story and can identify with much of it, particularly the anxiety and sleeping difficulties.

Glad to hear you're feeling better and have turned a corner, I've got my fingers crossed I'm there soon too!

Very best wishes x

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AprilShowers

Thanks. Be kind to yourselves, it works, even when things are really bad. 

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AprilShowers

Just checking in after a long time. Hi everyone. 

 

Having another bout of withdrawal unfortunately. Even though I stabilised kind of for a while I had ongoing problems including a fast heart rate and palpitations. I'd been feeling very unwell lately and the doctor suggested I try a beta blocker to bring my heart rate down as it wasn't good for me really. I was quite nervous to try them but she said there were no side effects and just to wean off before a referral to the hospital for a heart monitor this month. Well they did bring my heart rate down but I felt a bit apathetic and sleepy and so I wasn't sure I liked them so decided to try weaning off earlier than needed just in case I had any WD problems and to see how that went. And bam, weaned off okay but then a few days later, full on cortisol mornings again, shaking and shuddering. Huge panic after waking that lasts all day. Then exhaustion but not really sleeping properly. Dry mouth so not really eating properly either. 

 

I'm trying to get through it again, hoping it won't last forever but it's really disheartening to be back here going through this again. I've just taken a quarter of a Propranolol to see if I can reinstate and wean off a bit more gradually but can't get in to see the doctor and still need to wean off them before I go to the hospital to get my heart monitored in a couple of weeks. 

 

Anything that calms me has this awful rebound effect it seems, although I have been under extra stress lately. I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing by trying to re-instate, I could make things worse I know. My doctors and mental health team are not at all helpful or supportive, they just don't understand and I can't even get an appointment for over two weeks. 

 

Has anyone had much experience with this with beta blockers? I did check a thread here before I began but most people seemed to not have a problem with them.

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Petunia

Hi AprilShowers,

I'm sorry you've been hit with another wave. I'm writing because I've had some experience with propranolol during withdrawal. It was one of the things I tried for symptom relief before I came to the conclusion that only time, stress reduction and a healthy lifestyle was going to help.

 

Its been a long time since I took any kind of prescription drugs, but when I tried propranolol, at first it seemed to help. But it seemed to swing my symptoms in the opposite direction. It calmed the physical anxiety, but caused depression. I would take it a few days in a row, end up feeling worse and then stop and have a wave of increased physical anxiety for a few days.

 

I would only ever take half or a quarter of the lowest dose, I'm not sure now what that is now.

 

This has actually been my pattern with anything which seemed to help, including various supplements. Something might provide a little relief for a while, but would then turn on me and either stop working or cause a wave of increased symptoms.

 

If you have been taking them regularly, they do need to be tapered. So reinstating a small amount might help. Then come off them more slowly.

 

If you find they help somewhat, but cause fatigue, maybe after your hospital appointment, you could reinstate, but at a lower dose, and stay with that until your withdrawal settles more. Then taper off that lower dose.

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AprilShowers

Thanks Petunia, it's good to know I'm not alone. I live alone so that doesn't help matters. 

 

Re-instating didn't help, in fact I was up at 4:30am this morning shuddering and shaking again, it's the worst nightmare because it's so hard to switch off once that cortisol starts. I took a gentle walk round the block at 5am to see if I could 'use up' the cortisol and maybe get calmer that way. It sort of worked but I felt awfully weak and then the minute I got home and tried to relax my body just flooded with cortisol again. It's like it doesn't know when it's had enough. 

 

I can't even get in to see the doctor for two weeks so I guess I'll just have to ride it out. 

 

I'm taking omega 3 and vitamin c at the moment which are the supplements that have always worked for me and I'm holding off on everything else because I don't want to aggravate things more. 

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AprilShowers

Got barely an hour's sleep last night and have been up shaking since 3am. I tried some inositol this morning to see if it would help but I'm really not sure if I've made things worse or if I'm just getting worse. Just 1/4 teaspoon in water. Not sure whether I should take any tomorrow now or just leave myself alone. I have no saliva, can't eat, barely ate yesterday and feeling very unwell. 

 

So yeah, I gave inositol a lot of credit last time for turning the corner on this shaking but now I'm wondering. It's so hard to know what to do for the best and what to try. 

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AprilShowers

Well, I didn't try any more inositol the second day for fear of making things worse but I do think I'm seeing some improvement, the shakes seem less intense and I'm getting a bit of evening appetite back so I've been able to eat a little. Either the inositol triggered some reverse in that kindling reaction the beta blockers caused or I'm just getting better on my own. Either way I'm grateful for the reprieve and hope it keeps progressing. 

 

I am as always truly grateful for having found this forum, the level of understanding here, and helping new sufferers to understand what is happening to them is the best I've found anywhere on the web. 

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AprilShowers

In lack of any l-theanine supplements to hand I decided to try a cup of green tea in the mornings. It seems to be helping take the edge off the shakes a little despite the caffeine. 

 

I may invest in the supplement (I'm not a huge fan of green tea) but not sure if it will be too strong in pill form with my system so sensitised. 

 

The other thing I've decided to add in is zinc because I had some at the back of the cupboard and read that it helps lower evening cortisol. 

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Rain

Hi My friend just saw your post, hope you get better soon! 

 

Hugs

 

Rain

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AprilShowers

Thank you. I think I'm seeing a little improvement in the afternoons/evenings. Still horrid shaking/shuddering in the mornings though, it seems my nervous system is on overdrive. I stopped the zinc as I was getting high blood pressure and not sure if it was making things worse. I'm currently taking omega 3, vitamin c and have added back in magnesium and potassium both of which I find calming. 

 

I thing going through this has made me realise that the heart palpitations and tachycardia which I've been blaming for feeling unwell the past year and a half are actually just a side effect of what's really making me feel unwell which is too much cortisol and adrenaline flooding my system and my body stripping all the nutrients out of my body to produce these chemicals. My autonomic nervous system is really broken. I wonder if it will ever fully heal. 

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