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FunkyBaboon

FunkyBaboon Writing my introductory post is hard write now

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apace41

Has anybody got any ideas on how I can get some kind of purpose back in life?

 

Good update, FB.  Thanks very much.  Glad to hear that you have stabilized to a substantial degree and kudos on your introspection and research.  Coming up with a story that works for you as to why things happen is very important to acceptance.  I say it this way because while your rationale is very logical -- and it may very well be the exact cause of your "crash" -- none of us know how these things really happen specifically.  Given where you are and where you have come, I agree that this is a logical analysis of what happened -- the too many drops in an already full bucket theory.

 

You write very well and have done a nice job putting this together.  What about journaling about your experience as a way of finding some purpose in each day.  Write for 10 minutes day one and 20 on day 2, etc.  Once you are at a point where you can get to 90 minutes of writing on a daily basis I would be willing to bet that you will start looking forward to getting up each day to start capturing your thoughts.  Given that this kind of mental stimulation also serves to increase BDNF it might serve the dual purpose of helping you heal.

 

Just a thought.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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FunkyBaboon

Hey Andy,

 

Thanks for your comment I really appreciate your words of wisdom! 

 

I admit that the current story I have come up with is simply my best guess based on the limited research I have done to date and I'm sure in the future I will find holes in my current understanding and will refine it further, but having a story that works for me is essential in this process. As somebody who is very logical and analytical (the software developer in me needs logic & reason!) I need a story that I can cling onto to explain what is happening to me so that I feel as though I have some form of control. The previous story that I told myself was a much more simplistic version of my current understanding and it was based mainly around antidepressant dose changes. So when I started experiencing a serious worsening in my condition after a long hold at 10mg and my story couldn't explain it, I freaked out completely, which made things a whole lot worse.

 

Your suggestion to start writing more and journaling my experiences is a fantastic one and I will make an effort to start writing more frequently. I would love to check into survivingantidepressants more often but I limit my interactions to this site to the times when I'm feeling more optimistic and positive. I do this because anything I read that is slightly scary or worrying when I'm in a pessimistic or negative mindset only adds to my troubles and I can't cope with that. I also feel that anything I write on the forum is tainted by my current mood and so in order to ensure that my contributions to my own journal and my comments on other peoples posts are as supportive, encouraging and optimistic as possible, which, let's face it, is what we all need, I only post when in the more buoyant mindsets too.

 

I've further revised my next dose reduction down from 7.5% to 5%. This is because even the thought of a 7.5% reduction scares me too much right now. I'm about to go away on holiday for a couple of months and spend time with family and friends and I really don't want my reduction to negatively affect the time I spend with them too much. I will see how this next 5% drop goes and make the call as to whether to continue on that trajectory or whether to up my rate slightly to 7.5% on the next one.

 

Cheers,

Funky

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FunkyBaboon

Feeling a lot of love for survivingantidepressants today. This place is special. #JustSaying

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Schnozzle

Sorry to have to be the bearer of terrible news. Funkybaboon (Adam) was my oldest friend, we knew each other since school days. While visiting family in the US he was involved in a freak cycling accident, and did not survive. He did not suffer.

 

Apologies if this is not the correct place to post this. I know he had many friends here, please pass on to anyone who needs to know.

 

He cared a great deal about this community, although he will not be here in person any more please keep him with you in your hearts, if he was here now he would be thinking of you all.

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Altostrata

I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. I feel I know him from his words and feel his loss, too. Very sad.

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Junglechicken

Just seen this, Africa just messaged me.

 

In total shock, I'm incredibly sad of this news, and he was so looking forward to his trip to the US (seeing his family) as well as various adventures in Europe over the summer.  

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apace41

RIP, Funkybaboon.

 

So sad.

 

Andy

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Africa

Adam and I had very similar experiences and he was always there for me.

 

We kept in contact regularly and I met him in person for the first time at our last support group meeting.

 

He was the kindest person I have known and when I felt so alone he gave me so much strength.

 

He was so exited about his trip to the US and his travels this year and it was so wonderful to see him so happy.

 

I will miss you so much Adam and will always keep you in my thoughts.

 

Thank you for everything

 

Brigitte xxx

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Christian

This is terrible! FunkyBaboon took the time to reply to one of my emails with a lot of supportive ideas that really helped me at a bad time. I find his last comment to us on his thread even more saddening. He will be missed!

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mammaP

I am shocked and saddened to read this news, and my heart goes out to Adam's family and friends. He was doing so well and his last post here was lovely. 

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SquirrellyGirl

So sad to hear about Funky and sorry for his loss to all who knew and loved him.  It's hard to see someone's thread and realize they are no more.  I'm just glad that he was enjoying himself on vacation, riding a bike! and wasn't a tragic end result of the drugs.  RIP Funkybaboon  :(

 

SG

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Schnozzle

Adam's memorial service will be on July 15th in Torquay, if you would like to be there please let me know

Edited by ChessieCat
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