Intro -Jason71 8 months off Lexapro

[Jason71]

Hi all

 

Jason 71 here and currently off Lexapro 8 months. Was initially on 10mg for 7 months 2013/2014 for stress overload. Was off for 7 months and went back on 5mg for 2 months following a bereavement early this year.

 

Being off 8 months has had its challenges. The last week has been difficult with what seem like my initial symptoms again. Poor Concentration, nausea, anxiety creeping in, obessive thinking re health and moods up and down, general aches and pains. Ive had a bad cold for 2 weeks so it could be contributing, plus work has been very stressful and im on a short break, hence the cold coming out.

 

Im going to ride it out and hope things settle again. Im assuming these type of symptoms can occur during withdrawal, even at 8 months?

 

Thanks

Jason71

[KarenB]

Hello Jason and welcome to s/a,

 

You are right - all those symptoms are withdrawal, and you can definately still be feeling then at 8 months out.  I'm glad you've come here for some support.  That cold you have could also be w/d. 

 

Thanks for filling in a signature.  Could you add a little info to it so we know how quickly you tapered each time, or if you went cold-turkey.  The quicker the taper, the more liklihood you have of a prolonged w/d, unfortunately.  There is a lot of info here about managing w/d, and coping with symptoms.  Fish oil and magnesium are the two things people find most useful.    

 

You might like also to read about the what withdrawal is, and the windows and waves pattern of withdrawal to help you understand what is happening to you.  Then you could come back here to this thread to ask any further questions you may have.  This thread will be your journal to record your healing progress.  We'll be really happy to provide more help as you go along.  You can get through this, even though it's a bit of a bumpy ride.  You're in good company .

 

Besh wishes,

KarenB

 

PS  I always feel a lovely link to Ireland cause my Granny came from there, and she was one of my favourite people in the whole world. 

[Jason71]

Thanks Karen, glad you like Ireland!  Yes, the cold does actually feel part of wd, I've had it for 2.5 weeks now.  My main challenge is probably brain fog and issues with computer use and a bit wobbly walking. 

 

Will update the taper.  First use of Lexapro I was on 10mg 6 months, then with taper had 1 month on 5mg, then 1 month 5mg every other day and off.

 

More recent use was 2 months on 5mg, then 3 weeks 2.5 and off.   Realise wasn't 10%, but didn't have any issues moving down.

 

Jason

[nghitran]

Hi Jason71,

 

Do you / did you have sexual SEs?

 

Thanks

[Jason71]

Hi nghitran,sort off, lower libido, but nothing to bad.

 

Im now Noticing as well my dreams are very vivid and I'm waking up more in the night. Just as I'm going to sleep I'm waking up suddenly too. A week ago I took 5htp 50 mg over 2 days and coincidentally my symptoms seem worse.

 

This week though is a first bereavement anniversary so could be adding.

[KarenB]

Hi Jason,

 

You'll probably need to be kind to yourself on this anniversary week.  Go gently...

 

And yes 5-htp can be too activating for people who are either using SSRIs or still trying to stabilise their CNS after tapering.  It's good to keep notes on supplements you take, and track your symptoms.  Patterns will emerge and they can be quite useful for managing the whole w/d experience. 

 

I actually use any sign of a cold as a signal to me that I'm pushing things too hard, and that I need to rest more and notch up my self-care.  It seems to be a good indicator of how I'm going with the w/d in general. 

 

Just looked at your sig.notes.  Both tapers were quite fast, and skipping days on the first taper would have made it even more destabilising for your CNS - leading to protracted w/d.  But you've been riding things out fairly well to have got to 8 months out.  I think you are right that the 5htp ramped things up.  It should all settle down again in a while.  Any thoughts on trying fish-oil or magnesium?

 

We have a sleep thread, if you feel like taking a look.  It's an issue for many of us, but there are things you can do to ease it. 

 

KarenB

[Jason71]

Thanks Karen. I was on omega 3 a couple of months back, not tried magnesium though. Will look into it.

 

Brain fog seems to have cleared, but concentration still an issue. Seems computer use makes me worse and leaves my system a little overactive till I come off. Profound dreaming still and keep waking up. Mood seems ok, a little up and down. Couple of aches and pains, particularly in back. Cold shivers in head... Now and again.

 

As I mentioned, is my mothers first anniversary this week so could be making things worse.

 

regards Jason

Edited December 22, 2015 by JanCarol
adjust font size for ease of reading

[Jason71]

 

Opps last post font was small.  Ive decided to reinstate on 5mg for another short while.  Unfortunately, my father died last night (same day as my mother last year) and with a lot of work stress on my body through work (lecturing) I think I need it for 3 months at least.  I'll taper though very slow down to 2.5 etc and take it easy.

[KarenB]

Jason, I'm so sorry to hear about your father.  I hope you have somebody with you there, family or friends. 

 

If you do go back up to 5mg, do make sure you stabilise there for a good while.  Too much up/down = trouble.  It looks as though you plan to taper slower next time?  Perhaps by the 10% method?  That would work better for you.

 

But for now, just go real easy on yourself.  Lots of self-care and self-love.  

 

Sending you some big hugs today,

KarenB 

[Jason71]

Went back on 5mg.  You mentioned to make sure to stablise, how long would that be for?  2 months?  My Gp has suggested staying on for 3 months.

[nz11]

Im going to ride it out and hope things settle again. Im assuming these type of symptoms can occur during withdrawal, even at 8 months?

 

I like this idea to ride it out. But now i read you are going back on. I'm gutted for you.

 

I wish i had stayed off back in 2004 when i got free for two months i wish someone had told me manifestations werent me they were the drug withdrawal that these are potent brain altering addictive chemicals . That permanent sexual damage may result.  That the healing from exposure to these chemicals can take many many months, for some years.

 

Goodness me 8 months is early days in this iatrogenic healing journey .

Healy (the world authority on these drugs ) says healing can take 2-4 years once drug free.

 

It is totally unacceptable to me for people to be put on these chemicals for 'stress overload ' or 'bereavement' or anything else imo.

 

Poor Concentration, nausea, anxiety creeping in, obessive thinking re health and moods up and down, general aches and pains.

 

These are all classic symptoms of withdrawal but in my opinion i am not seeing 'trauma' here. (i could be wrong). I am not seeing the 's' word or signs of serious life threatening akathisia. 

I'm not seeing urgency to 'take it away' i'm seeing stuff that can be tolerated and passed through with non drug means.

self soothing for example.

 

Going on and off these drugs allows prison bars of dependence to thicken. So does ongoing exposure to them. Each time making it more difficult to get off. imo

 

i am sorry if i feel disappointed to read this turn of events cos i am.

 

Its not as if you have had long term exposure. The exit door is still revolving for you without  a fight for your life to pry it open. I mean you were already well clear of the exit door....

 

This merry-go-round might suddenly and easily morph into  'you have to take these for life' scenario from a doctor. Or oh you are not stable after a month well lets double the dose.

 

Many people would be envious to be 8 months drug free. You are not far off from being a year off many report improvements in year 1-2.

So you go back on then what ? Taper again ? Get some withdrawal symptoms, ri again?

 

What about sexual damage its  'nothing too bad ' now . That could change this time round.

Why risk that.

 

One of my favourite sayings is 'you do not swallow good mental health.'

 

You say your job is very stressful ...is it possible to take or find a less stressful job? rather than swallow something.

 

At a glance it looks like to date you have had about 8-9 months of exposure to an ssri ...if you go back on at 5mg and taper at the 10% rate rec here you will need 16 months to get to 1mg . Thats 16 months more exposure. What if things are not smooth sailing?

 

I would be running with the initial decision to stay the course drug free and 'ride this out'...as if my life depended on it.

[Fresh]

Hi Jason , I'm so sorry about your dad.  And to deal with it during w/d makes everything more difficult.

 

" Poor Concentration, nausea, anxiety creeping in, obessive thinking re health and moods up and down, general aches and pains."   It's fairly common for new symptoms to appear between 6 and 9 months after a too-fast taper.

Have you had any symptom relief since reinstating?

 

When you do start tapering , your first drop will be to 2.7mg , i.e.10%.    If you don't taper slowly this time round , you'll

just have a repeat performance 6-12 months after you stop.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

[Jason71]

Im going to ride it out and hope things settle again. Im assuming these type of symptoms can occur during withdrawal, even at 8 months?

 

I like this idea to ride it out. But now i read you are going back on. I'm gutted for you.

 

I wish i had stayed off back in 2004 when i got free for two months i wish someone had told me manifestations werent me they were the drug withdrawal that these are potent brain altering addictive chemicals . That permanent sexual damage may result.  That the healing from exposure to these chemicals can take many many months, for some years.

 

Goodness me 8 months is early days in this iatrogenic healing journey .

Healy (the world authority on these drugs ) says healing can take 2-4 years once drug free.

 

It is totally unacceptable to me for people to be put on these chemicals for 'stress overload ' or 'bereavement' or anything else imo.

 

Poor Concentration, nausea, anxiety creeping in, obessive thinking re health and moods up and down, general aches and pains.

 

These are all classic symptoms of withdrawal but in my opinion i am not seeing 'trauma' here. (i could be wrong). I am not seeing the 's' word or signs of serious life threatening akathisia. 

I'm not seeing urgency to 'take it away' i'm seeing stuff that can be tolerated and passed through with non drug means.

self soothing for example.

 

Going on and off these drugs allows prison bars of dependence to thicken. So does ongoing exposure to them. Each time making it more difficult to get off. imo

 

i am sorry if i feel disappointed to read this turn of events cos i am.

 

Its not as if you have had long term exposure. The exit door is still revolving for you without  a fight for your life to pry it open. I mean you were already well clear of the exit door....

 

This merry-go-round might suddenly and easily morph into  'you have to take these for life' scenario from a doctor. Or oh you are not stable after a month well lets double the dose.

 

Many people would be envious to be 8 months drug free. You are not far off from being a year off many report improvements in year 1-2.

So you go back on then what ? Taper again ? Get some withdrawal symptoms, ri again?

 

What about sexual damage its  'nothing too bad ' now . That could change this time round.

Why risk that.

 

One of my favourite sayings is 'you do not swallow good mental health.'

 

You say your job is very stressful ...is it possible to take or find a less stressful job? rather than swallow something.

 

At a glance it looks like to date you have had about 8-9 months of exposure to an ssri ...if you go back on at 5mg and taper at the 10% rate rec here you will need 16 months to get to 1mg . Thats 16 months more exposure. What if things are not smooth sailing?

 

I would be running with the initial decision to stay the course drug free and 'ride this out'...as if my life depended on it.

Gutted myself for going back on.  Been on 6 days now.  I am changing my job in the new year and that will help, to get out of teaching.

[Jason71]

Hi Jason , I'm so sorry about your dad.  And to deal with it during w/d makes everything more difficult.

 

" Poor Concentration, nausea, anxiety creeping in, obessive thinking re health and moods up and down, general aches and pains."   It's fairly common for new symptoms to appear between 6 and 9 months after a too-fast taper.

Have you had any symptom relief since reinstating?

 

When you do start tapering , your first drop will be to 2.7mg , i.e.10%.    If you don't taper slowly this time round , you'll

just have a repeat performance 6-12 months after you stop.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

Thanks.  Been on 6 days, side effects first 5 days but seems to getting better.  All other symptoms like concentration are fine.  I cant get liquid Lexapro here, but can taper to 2.5mg. I realise now again I need to get off Lexapro as soon as I can.    Stopping after 6 days could be a nightmare.  Maybe I should taper after a month?

[nz11]

When you do start tapering , your first drop will be to 2.7mg , i.e.10%.  

 

Fresh the ri appears to have been to 5 not 3.

[KarenB]

Went back on 5mg.  You mentioned to make sure to stablise, how long would that be for?  2 months?  My Gp has suggested staying on for 3 months.

 

If you do go back on, then I'd wait at least 2 months and monitor how your symptoms settle. 

 

But I think NZ and Fresh are right in saying it's best not to go back on at all.  You've only been back on 5mg for 6 days right?  And it gave you some side-effects.  It's possible you could just stop, but I'll get a 2nd opinion on that.  

 

Whichever way you choose, it's important to stay on that path and give yourself some stability.  No more jumping up or down.  We want you to come through this as well as you possibly can.

[Fresh]

I did think the you'd gone back on 3mg for some reason Jason, (thanks nz).  

I thought you meant you'd drop from 3 to 2.5 , which is too much of a decrease.  If you stabilize on 5mg , your

first drop should be to 4.5mg.  You can measure a precise dose at whatever dose you choose.

Try reading How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

However . . . . . I never said I thought it would be better not to reinstate.  

If you stop them now , or do a fast taper over a week or two , you'll have exactly the same symptoms as you've

had for the past months.  And they may still get worse.  As I wrote earlier , it's common for new symptoms to

appear around 8 months after stopping.

It sounds like 5mg may be too high for you , but once you stabilize , you can carry on your life without extreme

disruption while you taper down slowly.  

To me that's a way better option than becoming pretty sick indefinitely.

[Jason71]

Thanks all for the suggestions.  On day 7 now and all is fine. My plan is to stay on for 2 months and then taper.  Has been a difficult year again losing both my parents within a year, withdrawal and a job that is mentally demanding and causes me stress (lecturing).  Lots of change though for 2016. 

[dalsaan]

Hi Jason,

 

I'm glad things have calmed down for you. I am a lecturer too and I get the struggle. Don't be scared to stay on for longer if it's not a good time to taper. The key goal is to come off well, not quickly. Rather than going by a calendar make decisions based on how you feel and what's going on in your life

 

I wish you the best

 

Dalsaan

[Jason71]

Hi Jason,

 

I'm glad things have calmed down for you. I am a lecturer too and I get the struggle. Don't be scared to stay on for longer if it's not a good time to taper. The key goal is to come off well, not quickly. Rather than going by a calendar make decisions based on how you feel and what's going on in your life

 

I wish you the best

 

Dalsaan

Thanks Dalsaan. I'll wait and see after 2 months. Actually lecturing has been a struggle since I started 13 years ago, has always caused me stress by the end of the semester. I remember 7 years ago saying to myself, I cant see myself in this role much longer.  Ive a lecturing load of 16-18 hours then prep and admin per week.  Before I crashed initially in 2013 i'd been doing my Phd for 7 years.  Anyway, Jan i'm going into a research role for 9 months and that will help especially as I come of Lexapro.  After the 9 months i'll be looking for a sabbatical from my current job and to a job that doesn't involve lecturing!

[JanCarol]

Hey Jason - I'm sorry about your loss.

 

If the 5 mg is not causing you any grief, that's fine to stay on.  

 

Please, when you do decide you are ready - please, because of your prior use and withdrawals - do a slow taper.

 

It is criminal that the drug companies don't give us the sizes - the small doses - we need to come down off of their drugs safely - but they don't.  This becomes even more important, as the lower the dose is - the more changes will cause effects.  So it's especially important to go s-l-o-w-l-y on the last part of the taper.  Like your last 5 mg.

 

So we use novel methods, like measuring with a milligram scale, shaving the tablets with a file, or making a liquid (the link that Fresh posted).

 

Please consider:  Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

and Tips for tapering off Lexapro

 

I hope you see the sun today.

[nz11]

.....and i thought lecturers had it so easy ...students do all the work and the lecturers get all the pay ....

Ya learn something new every day!

Sorry to hear of your loss.

[KarenB]

Hi again Jason,

 

I checked and it is fine to just stop if you've only been on for 6 days.  However because the reinstatement appears to be working well for you (i.e your symptoms are improving) then it's probably a good idea to remain at the 5mg for now.  I see above that's what you've decided.

 

This gives you options, which is nice when you are in a stressful and sad time.  Now you can stabilise, and focus on the other things in your life.  After a few months you can plan a gentle 10% taper. 

 

I'm really glad to hear you are feeling better today.  Keep things gentle...

KarenB

[nz11]

 

I checked and it is fine to just stop if you've only been on for 6 days.

 

Thanks for sharing that Karen.

 

I was wondering about opinions on how one might  back out of this.

I was thinking take half for 3 days then off. But yeah its great to hear a view on this.

 

Healy has observed symptoms for months from healthy volunteers who only took it for 2 weeks. So maybe the logic is one week is the cut off.

[Jason71]

Thanks all again for your kind thoughts.  Day 8 and all is fine.  I've a lot to deal with over the next 2 weeks like funeral etc and back to work so i'm going to stay on for a short while and then do the taper again.