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epidashen: Hi I'm new :) doing better but feel traumatized by the experience... can anyone relate?


epidashen

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The dr covered by my insurance wouldn't refill my snri prescription because it was an amphetamine (it's not an amphetamine).... every dr Id seen before said I could stop whenever I want without having to taper. Coming off was a nightmare. I had almost every symptom there is. I basically spent 3 years in constant agony from nerve pain. I honestly feel like it was torture. I'm doing so much better now... I still get dizzy somedays, and I still struggle with fatigue. The worst now is the trauma of the whole experience... not being believed about my symptoms and eventually not having the strength to even try to see another dr to figure out what was going on. I had ptsd before, and I feel like this is another trauma that I have to deal with now. I remember so many lonely nights, not having slept in days, wanting nothing more that to escape this horrible body.

 

Can anybody relate???

60 mg Straterra November 2009

80 mg Straterra November 2010

80 mg Straterra -> 60 mg Straterra October 2011

60 mg Straterra -> 0 mg Straterra March 2012

Mostly recovered with b12 injections from April 2015

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Hi epidashen, 

 

It's late so you might not get a response for while, but though I was not on amphetamines, I can relate to what you said about wanting to escape this body, or this life when I was in the worst of AD withdrawal.  Mostly, then, it was the emotional fallout, severe anxiety, depression and insomnia, and I thought I couldn't go on another day like that!  

 

Your story is a common one with regards to not being believed, and having gun-shyness with doctors.  It's definitely a type of ptsd!  When I was the early stages of protracted wd, I thought I had ADD and saw doctors, psychologists and p-docs, none of whom recognized what I was going through as WD.  I gave them all the history and symptoms, and it never occurred to any of them!  I didn't yet know what I was going through, so even I guess I was spellbound, as Dr. Peter Breggin calls it.  Very common story here.

 

Glad you're here, and really glad that you are coming out the other side now!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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thanks for your validation  and I'm so  sorry you can relate :( and also thanks taking the time to respond and for just being here in general.

My parents put me on 2 SSRIs with no time between the two as a teen... I ended up moving out at 16 because of that and other issues at home. That's when I started having some symptoms... those symptoms ended up being diagnosed as add, and then I was given the snri, which helped at first but wore off and my health started deteriorating. The drug I was on actually wasn't an amphetamine at all, the dr I saw just insisted I was trying to get them without even looking up the name of my drug. I'm definitely a lot more cautious about believing everything I hear from drs now! and cautious about becoming dependant on a prescription.

 

Off topic kinda, but my sister was written an SSRI prescription once instead of an antibiotic. The pharmacist caught the mistake. That's a pretty big error.

60 mg Straterra November 2009

80 mg Straterra November 2010

80 mg Straterra -> 60 mg Straterra October 2011

60 mg Straterra -> 0 mg Straterra March 2012

Mostly recovered with b12 injections from April 2015

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Hi epidashen , welcome to the site.   And big congratulations for surviving the antidepressant "treatment"

and withdrawal.

I also had many years , feeling like a hypochondriac , being switched from one ad to another when

they "pooped out" , and no-one understanding why I couldn't work and be happy.

 

You're fortunate to be out of the tangle at your age.  Now it's all about the healing for you.

 

When you get a chance , could you add some more detail to your signature?

 

Good to have you on board ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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thank you very much fresh :) I'll update my signature soon... i'm kinda looking at what details other people have included in theirs

60 mg Straterra November 2009

80 mg Straterra November 2010

80 mg Straterra -> 60 mg Straterra October 2011

60 mg Straterra -> 0 mg Straterra March 2012

Mostly recovered with b12 injections from April 2015

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  • Moderator Emeritus

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Welcome, epidashen.

 

Strattera is among the drugs prescribed for ADD, even though it is not an amphetamine or amphetamine analog like the others; it is an an NRI, not an SNRI. Still, that doctor was a fool and deserves a complaint from you.

 

Although it is claimed Strattera has little withdrawal syndrome, all psychiatric drugs require tapering. How did you go off Strattera?

 

How did you determine you should take B12 shots? What are your symptoms now?

 

I see you have also posted a Success Story here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10807-i-recovered-with-b12-injections-after-3-years-of-hell/in which you detail your withdrawal symptoms after quitting Strattera.

 

 

 


Hey and thank you :)
 
My withdrawal symptoms were:
- nerve pain, pins and needles, and eventually numbness
- brain fog
- irritability
- impaired sleep cycle (stayed in REM whenever I slept -  as a result I never woke up feeling rested even when I could sleep)
- muscle loss, muscle spasms and problems building muscle
- extreme fatigue
- breathlessness
- akathisia
- vision problems - blurry eyes
- vision problems - aura/lack of peripheral vision
- light headedness/vision loss/head-rush feeling even when sitting down
- immune issues (contstant colds and infections)
- seizures
- very dry skin
- brain zaps
- loss of cognitive ability
- loss of short term memory
- headaches
- dizziness
- nausea
- lack of appetite
- clumisiness
- tinnitus
- loss of coordination
-  didn't enjoy anything anymore, loss of libido etc
 
There's more... lot's of little things  that came and went without me paying much mind because so much else was going on. Probably some big things that I missed too.
 
My 2 blood tests never showed anything wrong at the begining, but I don't know what they would have looked like at the end. I had seizures during two blood tests so I didn't want to risk it again. Also B12 blood tests can also be non-representative of how much b12 is actually going to tissues, and there's disagreement in the medical community of where cut offs for "normal" and "low" should be. If anyone reading this is curious there's more information on b12 if you look through b12 deficiency and pernicious anemia advocacy websites, or search google scholar. I suck at explaining and you'll learn more that way. I self inject, but I definitely recommend people considering b12 injections do everything they can to work with a doctor. I'm trying to find one who will work with me self-injecting b12. It's pretty low risk, but it's important to keep an eye on other levels (folate, ferritin), and learn to do an injection properly etc. A dr who is experienced in the area would be able to give helpful insight too... Please, please don't take my word for any of this there's loads of real sources for information that are much better than me :P

My symptoms on injections:
- increased dizziness which was improved by taking an electrolyte supplement (sodium + potassium). (most people doing injections seem to do fine with eating potassium rich foods, but I needed to supplement both sodium + potassium)
- immediately improved mood (brain fog, irritability, general socialness) after the first shot
- nerve pain increased for 1 month, but I regained feeling in my feet and hands, and havn't had nerve pain since unless skip injections
- all symptoms were gone after two months EXCEPTIONS: - Dizziness, which still comes and goes, especially if I skip injections, or folic acid supplements. - Cognitive ability is still awful, but it's slowly improving. - Fatigue & stamina, which got massively better in the first month, but I have to be cautious not to push too far physically or I will crash. Crashes are improved with injections, and it takes a couple days to recover from a crash vs. a month or two before.
- increased ability to continue feeling well if daily injection is skipped as time goes on.
 
 
 
Also If anyone reading this is planning to get blood tests, just make sure you don't supplement before the test, as it will give you a false high and be a waste of the test. Also get folate and ferritin (iron) tested because there's a relationship between the three.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I've answered those questions implicitly an explictly already, some answers are in the quote you included. I came to this forum looking for emotional support and it doesn't seem to be the focus here, so I won't check back for more replies. Thank you for the welcomes everyone, and I hope everyone finds healing.

60 mg Straterra November 2009

80 mg Straterra November 2010

80 mg Straterra -> 60 mg Straterra October 2011

60 mg Straterra -> 0 mg Straterra March 2012

Mostly recovered with b12 injections from April 2015

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Epidashen,

 

I can totally relate to it feeling like a trauma.  That's exactly what it is.  You got treated badly and negligently by doctors, and suffered a great deal because of it.  I imagine it affected most, if not all, aspects of your life.  You weren't listened to or believed - and that is the thing that really compounds trauma. 

 

I found I was incredibly angry when I first realised the position I was in.  Angry, in disbelief, and feeling so helpless that people could get away with causing me this distress and chaos to my life.  They take no responsibility!!  To my mind, getting off these drugs involves two processes - withdrawal, and then also healing from the trauma of it all.

 

Your thread title leaped out at me, it's really spot on.  You might like this thread called 'feeling traumatised by the w/d experience':  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9261-feeling-traumatized-by-the-wd-experience/

 

And I hope you do check in again.  There is much support for you here.

Wishing you peace,

KarenB

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • 5 months later...
  • Administrator

epidashen, how are you doing now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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