Jump to content

Bam my journey so far


Bam

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone

 

A bit about myself I was prescribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia following a traumatic car accident and was on this drug for over 10 years at a dosage of 60 mgs per day

 

I then decided it was time to come off this drug.I cant honestly say why I just started to notice I wasn't the same person anymore so in my wisdom and with a severe lack of research I set my taper plan in action

 

It basically consisted of a drop of 5mgs per week (looking back a totally insane and dangerous decision).Anyway in all in took just under 4 months to drop from 60mgs to 0

 

Then the problems started I went into protracted withdrawal and had every symptom under the sun basically a living hell as I am sure everyone will know about.

 

Well now I am 6 years off and tbh I am about 95% recovered I have a few minor issues but nothing to serious

 

I would like to say I messed up big style and tbh been very lucky to get through all of this without any serious after effects.No doubt about it I did it the wrong way.

 

I like so many had tried every magic pill under the sun to help with my withdrawal and found very little that worked tbh

 

What helped me the most was a forum called paxil progress and have found this no longer exists but was directed here instead.

 

Hopefully I can help and support people here through my experiences the way I was helped on PP

 

Thanks for reading

 

Bam

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Bam,

 

That is great to hear you had a successful journey off the meds and so fabulous that you are willing to take time to come here and provide support to others.  We can never hear enough from people who have "walked the walk" and are now able to provide input to those of us still struggling along the path.

 

We look forward to your contributions.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Link to comment

Thanks for that Andy truly means a lot

 

I just thought after everything I have been through it was time to try to help others with the support and understanding I was shown.

 

I am not on a crusade or anything like that lol

 

I just know how isolating withdrawal can be and to speak with people who knew exactly what I was going through was a huge help towards my recovery.

 

I just hope I can do the same

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Bam,

 

Maybe we should get the doctors and psychs to take their own medicines ... ;)

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

Welcome Bam

Im an ex pp -er as well.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Bam , welcome to SA.

 

Good to have you on board.  

 

What is your life like now?

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Hi Bam,

It is great that you have recovered.

Your story is encouraging and gives hope to others.

How many years after you got off meds, did you see a big change?

During the course of six years, did you experience re-emergence of old wd symptoms, until the wd symptoms became less and less.

The reason I am asking is because during the course of 2 years, I have experienced wd symptoms, that I thought were gone for good, only to reamerge once again.

I'm still on 5mg of Mitrazapine, and not completely off meds.

Thank you, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to comment

Thanks everyone for the welcome

 

Chessiecat couldn't agree more !!

 

nz11 thanks for the welcome

 

Fresh life tbh has never been better moved from the UK to Portugal and have never been happier.Protacted withdrawal was the worst thing I have ever been through but got through it eventually I am still working through a few issues like depersonalisation and apathy but can honesty say I have never been so content.

 

Hopeful Thanks for that .....the improvements were varied I got what is known as windows quite often within the first year lasting longer and longer

 

The biggest changes have only come about in the last 2 years I came to realise that anxiety was a huge part of my withdrawal and took the steps to deal with this aspect which has paid off hugely.

 

I do feel that anxiety has a huge role to play in withdrawal and recovery and how we treat it has effects on our recovery and tbh honestly only when I got a handle on the anxiety did I see any major improvements in my recovery

 

I also researched that during withdrawal our brains and body will mimic the symptoms that we originally felt in a attempt to drive us back to the miracle cure.

 

Throughout my protracted withdrawal I have learnt that the brain and body is a very complex thing and when placed in withdrawal it will do anything to get the drug back.

 

Its a fine line between original condition and withdrawal but both can beaten with the right support and advice this I know for a fact

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome Bam,

Its great to have you here, to share your recovery story and to help others :)

 

 

The biggest changes have only come about in the last 2 years I came to realise that anxiety was a huge part of my withdrawal and took the steps to deal with this aspect which has paid off hugely.

I do feel that anxiety has a huge role to play in withdrawal and recovery and how we treat it has effects on our recovery and tbh honestly only when I got a handle on the anxiety did I see any major improvements in my recovery
 

 

Could you tell us a little more about this? How did you get the anxiety under control during the last 2 years of your recovery?

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

Thanks for that Petunia

 

I had been battling with severe anxiety and panic attacks for years, trying all the different supplements ,herbal remedies and endless guided relaxation cds just trying to get things back to normal and nothing was working.

 

And this was the problem I was forcing things to hard forever googling my symptoms and how to try and beat it became so much of a mission I was infact doing everything that keeps anxiety alive.

 

I found a website called anxiety no more and the advice was to stop fighting against anxiety and accept the feelings, don't buy into the what ifs and basically when it rears it head don't freak out just let it run its course

 

It wasn't easy just to let things happen and not freak out when your panicking in a shop, street etc but overtime I eventually got to hrips a in a way stopped investing so much time in anxiety just let things happen and got on with my life.

 

This method actually works I would urge anyone who is suffering to take a look at the website its free and wrote by a former sufferer of anxiety.Yeah he has a book but there is no more info in the book than on the site so no need to buy it.

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment

Thanks Bam for posting

sounds like the old AAF or a variation thereof.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

Link to comment

No problem nz11

 

It all tied in with a book I had read by Claire Weekes 'self help for your nerves'

 

She was ahead of her time and definitely worth a google

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks Bam for explaining more about how you overcame your anxiety. I just found the web site you recommended Anxiety No More, I've only read the first page so far, but it looks good and like NZ11 mentioned, sounds similar to the methods of Dr. Claire Weekes

 

I've got another question, if that's ok.

 

During the last 2 years of your recovery, when you were mainly dealing with anxiety, in hindsight, do you think this anxiety was still part of withdrawal, in other words, still a result of not yet being recovered from drug use and stopping too fast, or could this have been your original anxiety, which you hadn't yet found the proper cure for?

 

I'm just over two and a half years drug free and have just started getting multi-day windows of being symptom free and the anxiety I experience while in a window feels quite different from the almost constant sensations of fear I have when I'm not in a window.

 

I know its difficult to find the line between where withdrawal ends and our own natural 'problems' begin, especially if we went on drugs for anxiety, I constantly wonder how much of what I'm feeling now is still withdrawal and how much is my own natural state.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

Petunia glad you found the website its of great use seems to good to be true but honestly it works.

 

Of course its ok I will try to answer any questions anytime.

 

I would say it was a mixture of the two its weird but when you mention the anxiety in a window feels different from the withdrawal one I can actually relate to that.My original anxiety didn't feel as heavy as the one due to the withdrawal if that makes any sense.Its a bit hard to explain but my natural anxiety was more of a over the top excitement feeling whereas withdrawal anxiety was a heavy doom and gloom fearful feeling.

 

I was once told that the bodies reaction to fear and excitement are exactly the same its only our thinking at the time that determines which is which.

 

My advice is not to try and separate things anxiety is anxiety wether withdrawal or naturally induced the methods for dealing with it are exactly the same .

 

The problem I had tbh was I thought if the anxiety was due to withdrawal then it wouldn't make any difference what methods I employed it wouldn't make a difference until the withdrawal was over this simply is not true.I didn't want to fall into the trap of waiting for withdrawal to end until I tackled my original problems as there was no way of knowing what was what.I just went ahead with my recovery plan and it paid off in the end

 

 

I hope this makes sense

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment

I thought I should make something very clear yes I have been off the meds 6 years and have a couple of basically minor issues but I hope anyone reading this doesn't think I suffered for 6 years with all the withdrawal symptoms 24/7 this is not true

 

I should really be clear on what happened as I know when I was in withdrawal the last thing I needed to read about was someone who took years to recover this basically freaked me right out and did nothing to help just scared the hell out of me.

 

So when I first hit withdrawal it was basically hell on earth brain zaps, confusion, massive anxiety; panic, head pressuring up, , feeling like I was going to die, racing thoughts, insomnia, fatigue, the list goes on

 

These subsided over time I can't give you a exact time scale but I know it wasn't over 6 months and didn't get all of them everyday maybe just one or two

 

When these subsided I was basically left with anxiery, panic attacks and a strange fear of death no idea where this came from tbh it just seemed as if my mind latched onto something I feared the most.Wether the anxiety was withdrawal or my original condition I can't honestly say it was just there

 

Then again this was not 24/7 it would come in waves days or weeks apart so it wasn't constant.I must make this clear

 

Anyway the anxiety and panic stayed with me for a number of years and the basic fact was this was because I was dealing with it all wrong trying to fight it instead of taking a more laid back approach.I was keeping it alive with my face and fight approach and only until I found Claire Weekes and the website anxiety no more did I finally find how to beat it this is when things really turned round for me .

 

I must say through all of this I did set up a business and was working so please don't think I was going through hell unable to do anything it was more like a shadow I needed to shake off.

 

So I did finally get things sorted and yeah I have a couple of minor issues that I know will eventually subside but tbh I have a great life now and overcome the withdrawal.

 

I suppose I am writing this as when I was in withdrawal I wanted to hear the success stories, I wanted to know I wasn't going to be like this for the rest of my life, I wanted someone I could relate to and see they had got through it with no lasting damage etc

 

All I can say is that I did things the wrong and dangerous way regarding my taper and no doubt made things worse for myself in the long run.

 

If your tapering or in withdrawal I hope you tead this and see the symptoms are not 24/7 they can be days, weeks or months apart.

 

Lets be honest I completely screwed everything up yet I am still here very happy with no lasting damage so theres no reason on earth idf you do it properly you can't achieve the same a lot quicker

 

Good luck everyone I sincerely wish you all the best

I was perscribed seroxat for ptsd and agoraphobia in 1997

Dosage soon went to 60mgs per day

2009 started a uninformed taper and dropped from 60mgs to 0 in just under 4 months

Went into protracted withdrawal

Now 6 years on I am at least 95% recovered

Symptoms left which come and go are depersonalisation and emotional numbness

 

But nothing serious

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Dear Bam,

 

Can you tell us if.you suffered from PSSD and which symptoms of the spectrum.you had? Only physical or emotional too etc...

 

Did.it take 6 years to heal?

 

Thanks so.much. I feel happy for you

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy