success ☼ Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right

[SkyBlue]

On 3/25/2018 at 4:57 PM, Happy2Heal said:

 

Funny how my memories seem to be attached to places. 
does that happen to anyone else?
 

life is good.
 

I'm getting to the point where I almost take feeling good for granted.

 

 

 

 

I think it makes perfect sense for memories to be attached to places. I definitely have that, too. Don't have an example right off my head, but definitely.

 

Also I can relate to the "PTS" (of PTSD) part of thinking about early withdrawal (and waves). It's not so much that I think it would bring ON the symptoms I'm remembering,

but just being so glad that WD is mostly better, you know?

 

Glad you're getting out so much. Even if bingo and the casino aren't your favorite, these peeps are in their 90s and 100s, they must be doing something right!

So glad more healing is happening! : ) 

[Happy2Heal]

thanks for stopping by SkyBlue

I hope you're doing well.

 

just a quick update, I've been doing great during the day, maybe too good? I think lately I've overdone it, and that's caused me to have some issues sleeping. Or it could be that I've gone too far off my diet

 

I normally will allow myself an occasional sweet treat. At the Sr Center they have a huge amnt of day old pastries, muffins, coffee cake, cake, pie, cookies, etc, that are donated from a big super store.

 

they put these out twice a day, and it's very hard for me, with my sweet tooth, to not have a bit when I'm there.

I try to remember to bring something with me that's healthier,but sometimes I forget or don't have time to make and pkg up something.

On some days, I spend nearly the whole day there, and if I forgot to bring anything, I end up hungry and well.....

I eat cake. 

yesteday it was cake and cookies and then cup cakes, oops
It's too easy to go from one treat once in awhile to "what the heck, one was good, two will be better and three, heck that will be awesome!"

 
combine that with doing a bit too much (physically) during the day, plus some personal family stuff that's not bad nor good, just very emotional, and it's made it hard to sleep.

 

I am going to get more serious about curbing my sweet tooth, because other than a couple of nights of tossing and turning, I've had some really great days.  

 

I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me. It's very exciting. I never expected to feel this way.

 

but, I think I need to be realistic and dail things back a bit, clean up my diet etc

I think my nervous system is still a bit too fragile and I need to treat it with a bit more care. Not kid gloves, just a bit more gently.

 

off to buy lots of greens, beans, nuts and seeds, and some fruit, too!!

 

 

 

[direstraits]

thanks for another inspirational post,H2H!

I'm a chocaholic so I understand going overboard with the sweets sometimes. 

keep getting better..you give us all hope.

hugs,ds

[Hibari]

I have the same reaction H2H.   I will "give in" to a sweet craving and then feel cranky and hung over the next day.  I too am looking to clean up my diet and I feel good about it. 

 

So glad you are having good days. 

[Rosetta]

Hi H2H.  I love seeing your posts.  It is great to hear you feel so good.  I can see how that might make you less cautious.  You are tired of being cautious, I'm sure.  That must be a common reaction.  You give us all so much hope!

[brassmonkey]

Rainbow trail mix.  Satisfies the sweet tooth, is full of nuts and berries and a little will  hold your for several hours. It does a good job of keeping me away from chocolate chip cookies.

[Happy2Heal]

THANK You ds, hibari, rosetta and bm for stopping by!!

 

ARTIFICIAL COLORS AND FOOD DYES!

 

by george, I just figured out the cause (or likely cause) of my increase in tinnitus lately and possibly also sleep issues

 

I've been able to handle more sugar during WD without my symptoms ramping up, but it was just that, sugar (usually in the form of agave syrup, honey or molasses but sometimes white sugar) nothing brightly colored, just plain old sugar cookies or muffins and such.

 

what's been different lately is all these fool pastel colored frostings on the cookies and cakes! I've *always* had trouble with food dyes and artificial colors as well as artificial sweeteners!!

I bet that's it!

I'll find out! I'm going to be extra vigilant about avoiding those things, and will see how it goes

 

 

I was looking at all the photos of brightly colored candies, pastries, eggs, etc for Easter when it hit me!

lol

 

whew

 

my days have been just fantastic, in spite of a few rocky nights. I'm not letting those get to me, hey, it can happen to anyone, even those not going thru this process, right?

so I shake it off! 

I am going to soak in all these good things that are happening, to help me get thru those little bumps we all run into from time to time.

SOAK in the GOOD! let it nourish you!!  

I spent so much of my life, not allowing myself to feel good; feeling guilty because I thought I didn't deserve to feel good. What utter nonsense, eh?

 

 

PS

Just to be extra cautious, I am going to avoid chocolate as well ( I sometimes buy a bag of vegan dark choc chips, those I can control myself with, because they are so strongly flavored, I only need a few) but there's caffiene chocolate, right? so maybe best to avoid that for now

[Believer]

That's Awesome news H2H!

And your right, everyone does struggle with those things. I have coworkers who struggle with getting a good nights sleep and they aren't dealing with W/D. Soak it in!  Happy Easter to you.

[Littlegrandma]

H2H, you’re doing awesome. I’m really happy for you, and honestly quite envious. I can’t wait to feel the good. You deserve it. I love your appreciation for life. You’ve been reborn, and I know you’ll never take life for granted again. Just don’t get too complacent and eat the bad food. Someday. But not yet. You’re obviously still a little sensitive. 

 

Yours is such a happy story!!

hugs lg

[Happy2Heal]

thanks LG, you're going to get there!! 

I wish I had a magic wand and could just make it so that you were there already.

((((hugs))))

[Littlegrandma]

Me too H2H!!  Me too!

big hugs back

[Happy2Heal]

just putting this here in case anyone is interested and also because I want to re read it later

https://nutritionfacts.org/2018/04/03/the-best-diet-for-depression/?utm_source=NutritionFacts.org&utm_campaign=62a129e434-RSS_BLOG_DAILY&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_40f9e497d1-62a129e434-23428565&mc_cid=62a129e434&mc_eid=18558a9b97

 

I finally got "caught up" on sleep!

usually  I resist laying down in the late afternoon, because I don't want a late nap to interfere with my night time sleep, BUT I was just so tired yesterday that I laid down to read and fell asleep on the sofa for about an hour (from 5ish to 6ish)

I was still tired so I just watched tv and fell back asleep around 11- and slept thru the rest of the night! (unfortunately with the Tv on, which makes me wake up with a headache sometimes but the headache goes away quickly without doing anything but getting up)

 

woohoo!

I think I was getting into a bit of a nervous cycle: you have one bad night, the next night, you're on edge, worried you'll have a second one, and lo and behold, the worry seems to make it so

then the 3rd night you're trying to convince yourself that you're not worried, but that doesn't really work lol

 

OR you do what I did, I just thought, well, If I'm not going to sleep, I'll just stay up and get some stuff done, so I was up til 3 am sewing LOL
I figured if I'm not sleeping at night, maybe I don't need the sleep, right?

 

and eventually, I just got sleepy enough and viola! sleep!

 

I should clarify that I did NOT have a single sleepless night, I just had a couple of nights when I only slept about 4 to 5 hrs 

 

Which on some days, may be perfectly fine, except that I *wanted* more sleep!! I've been dreaming more lately and that *seems* to be contributing to having even better days

 

I don't really know, since correlation does not equal causation, of course

 

anyway gotta run 

just wanted to share my good news

 

 

[Rosetta]

So wonderful!

[powerback]

Hi H2H ile come and visit your thread,

I spend a massive amount of time researching nutrition ,its a great way to pass time ,ye I cant really afford organic ,but I mite spend a month doing strictly organic and see if there's a difference .

Your oatmeal is similar to my breakfast ,I have gluten free oatmeal ,

ive read that the flaxseed needs to be ground up into dust before eaten ,its better for the system to absorb it [more surface area]but only just before you eat it because the air will oxidise it ..i bought 2kgs  of organic flaxseed recently .every morning I take a table spoon I say this will fix me ,I know such a dreamer lol.

vegie bean soup ,thanks you've just given me an idea for lunch ,I have the pantry stuffed with beans .

[Happy2Heal]

hi PB glad to see you, I posted on your thread, and one other place in reply to you, I hope you've seen those.

 

oh that's good to know about the flax seed. I usually grind mine in a coffee grinder, but I do up enough for the whole week, I will have to just that days' worth from now on.

 

yeh, me too on researching nutrition, although you may wish to be careful if you've got a lot of anxiety and are prone to doing things "just right". I found that at one point, after reading about all the pesticides and toxic residues in so many foods, I'd go food shopping and come home wiht almost no food, I was afraid of everything poisoning me.

 

 

Beans are very good, all legumes are, they have a lot of fiber and minerals and stuff. I'm glad I like them, I'll eat them straight from a can (tin, I think you call it there?)

 

do you do any deep breathing or yoga? that may help, just tossing that out there..

 

 

[powerback]

31 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

hi PB glad to see you, I posted on your thread, and one other place in reply to you, I hope you've seen those.

 

oh that's good to know about the flax seed. I usually grind mine in a coffee grinder, but I do up enough for the whole week, I will have to just that days' worth from now on.

 

yeh, me too on researching nutrition, although you may wish to be careful if you've got a lot of anxiety and are prone to doing things "just right". I found that at one point, after reading about all the pesticides and toxic residues in so many foods, I'd go food shopping and come home wiht almost no food, I was afraid of everything poisoning me.

 

 

Beans are very good, all legumes are, they have a lot of fiber and minerals and stuff. I'm glad I like them, I'll eat them straight from a can (tin, I think you call it there?)

 

do you do any deep breathing or yoga? that may help, just tossing that out there..

 

 

my blender doesn't do it to dust ,I must get a coffee grinder ,yep just do that days batch just before eating .

I use banana in oatmeal [porridge] for sweetness ,sugar is a massive toxin ,I have my own weaknesses ,its irritating that my self control is not perfect.

Get a sea salt or pink Himalayan  salt ,there full of nutritional  minerals ,drop the refined salts that are full of chemicals and sodium .

ye that's very true about the anxiety over foods and shopping ,but sticking to whole foods ,its very simple .just stick to the one aisle in the supermarket as you know . 

Even eating out is nearly impossible because of MSG[not that I care for eating out ,overpriced and over rated  ,that's another very dangerous chemical ,it basically fools your brain into thinking food is tastier than is actually is .

ile only use natural soap and a natural shampoo ,but I think going down this road is only natural when we wake up and find a new way .

My bean soup is smelling yummy 

Your spot on with the nutritional  fibre ,all calories and fibre are not equal .

ye I want to try yoga ,I'm waiting for this nightmare winter of symptoms to subside to try it .  

[Happy2Heal]

thanks for those tips PB- yes eating out is rarely good! I did find a pizza place locally that makes a wonderful salad with all sorts of exotic greens and toms and what not. They even have a low fat honey mustard dressing.

 

UPDATE

just when I thought things could not get any better, THEY DID! 
I'm going thru a lot of upheaval in my life, emotionally with some family stuff, and physically and situationally- my apt is being worked on, old sagging ceiling came down, walls being painted, new carpet put in, people in and out, mass confusion; also have my own rats, who are elderly (and 2 passed away recently) plus foster rats- and those guys are leaving today.

 

You'd think with all this going on, I'd be a mess, right? nope!
the only WD-like symptom I've had is some tinnitus off and on, and some cortisol surges when I fell asleep during the day

 

but, get this, I FEEL ASLEEP during THE DAYTIME! this has been impossible for me to do, for about 2 yrs now, I was unable to nap during the day, regardless of how exhausted I was.

 

I fell asleep for an hour each time, once yesterday and once a few days before that.  I did wake up with a pounding heart and that feeling of a cortisol surge (or maybe it was adrenaline, I don't know- how do you tell the difference???) but anyway, I woke up disoriented and a bit shaky but that faded quickly.

 

I am sleeping better at night, and my days are just awesome.

By that I mean, I am feeling even more settled into my own body, more comfortable with all the massive changes that have happened in my life over the past couple of years.

I have that feeling of "home" that I was missing a year ago.

Each time that I feel like I've "arrived" at total or near total healing, I've been wrong. 

I can't imagine what more could improve at this point. I'm just thrilled that at 6 mos off, the worst I've had to deal with has been some sleep issues and some occasional tinnitus.

oh, and a few short lived emotional spirals but really, all in all, things have been progressing along wonderfully.

I do get this kind of a **post traumatic stress "reaction" or feeling, sometimes (**for lack of a less clinical sounding term for it) 

Memories of how things were just a year ago will set off this "icky" feeling but I'm easily able to distract from it. I have dealt with those "icky" feelings my entire life, having been traumatized as a child and early adult, so I feel confident I can handle those icky feelings.

 

a year ago, I never thought I would be where I am today. A year ago, I was hating myself for going off the lexapro at all, thinking I would have been better off in that drugged out, numb, emotional-less state. I thought the terror and the hell of WD was going to be with me FOREVER and that I'd been on and off the drugs too many times, even if I went back on, I'd only get sicker. I felt like my own mind was my enemy and I wanted so badly to get away from it. I wondered if I would ever feel any peace again. I was afraid that I might be permanently damaged from those decades of taking these toxic drugs.

 

I was wrong. I kept these fears to myself mostly, I didn't want to post about them because that kind of made them more "real" if you know what I mean? I felt posting my fears would make them self fulfilling, I guess. Or would somehow give them more power. I didn't want to jinx things, either. Oh I had a lot of reasons for not posting about my fears LOL

 

well, my fears did not dictate what happened. I felt like I could not get thru it, but I DID IT. I was afraid,  a LOT. I just kept going!! 

& I made it and I am SO SO SO very happy that I stuck with it!
 

I was on psych drugs for over 2/3 of my life. I can honestly and without reservation say that life OFF the drugs is a thousand times better.

 
 

[Scorpio]

Hi H2H

thank you for posting this update. I am going through a really tough time on 1mg lexapro/cipralex. You have given me hope it will get better and when more stable able to get rid of the 1mg. 

 

Im so happy for you that you are feeling better and stronger every day. 

[myndfull]

H2H -- Your updates have been a joy to read.

 

You've worked so hard.

 

May your life get even better!

 

Myndfull

[HopefulOne1]

Congrats H2H! I’m new to all this and reading some of the success stories such as yours gives me hope.

[Frogie]

3 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

thanks for those tips PB- yes eating out is rarely good! I did find a pizza place locally that makes a wonderful salad with all sorts of exotic greens and toms and what not. They even have a low fat honey mustard dressing.

 

UPDATE

just when I thought things could not get any better, THEY DID! 
I'm going thru a lot of upheaval in my life, emotionally with some family stuff, and physically and situationally- my apt is being worked on, old sagging ceiling came down, walls being painted, new carpet put in, people in and out, mass confusion; also have my own rats, who are elderly (and 2 passed away recently) plus foster rats- and those guys are leaving today.

 

You'd think with all this going on, I'd be a mess, right? nope!
the only WD-like symptom I've had is some tinnitus off and on, and some cortisol surges when I fell asleep during the day

 

but, get this, I FEEL ASLEEP during THE DAYTIME! this has been impossible for me to do, for about 2 yrs now, I was unable to nap during the day, regardless of how exhausted I was.

 

I fell asleep for an hour each time, once yesterday and once a few days before that.  I did wake up with a pounding heart and that feeling of a cortisol surge (or maybe it was adrenaline, I don't know- how do you tell the difference???) but anyway, I woke up disoriented and a bit shaky but that faded quickly.

 

I am sleeping better at night, and my days are just awesome.

By that I mean, I am feeling even more settled into my own body, more comfortable with all the massive changes that have happened in my life over the past couple of years.

I have that feeling of "home" that I was missing a year ago.

Each time that I feel like I've "arrived" at total or near total healing, I've been wrong. 

I can't imagine what more could improve at this point. I'm just thrilled that at 6 mos off, the worst I've had to deal with has been some sleep issues and some occasional tinnitus.

oh, and a few short lived emotional spirals but really, all in all, things have been progressing along wonderfully.

I do get this kind of a **post traumatic stress "reaction" or feeling, sometimes (**for lack of a less clinical sounding term for it) 

Memories of how things were just a year ago will set off this "icky" feeling but I'm easily able to distract from it. I have dealt with those "icky" feelings my entire life, having been traumatized as a child and early adult, so I feel confident I can handle those icky feelings.

 

a year ago, I never thought I would be where I am today. A year ago, I was hating myself for going off the lexapro at all, thinking I would have been better off in that drugged out, numb, emotional-less state. I thought the terror and the hell of WD was going to be with me FOREVER and that I'd been on and off the drugs too many times, even if I went back on, I'd only get sicker. I felt like my own mind was my enemy and I wanted so badly to get away from it. I wondered if I would ever feel any peace again. I was afraid that I might be permanently damaged from those decades of taking these toxic drugs.

 

I was wrong. I kept these fears to myself mostly, I didn't want to post about them because that kind of made them more "real" if you know what I mean? I felt posting my fears would make them self fulfilling, I guess. Or would somehow give them more power. I didn't want to jinx things, either. Oh I had a lot of reasons for not posting about my fears LOL

 

well, my fears did not dictate what happened. I felt like I could not get thru it, but I DID IT. I was afraid,  a LOT. I just kept going!! 

& I made it and I am SO SO SO very happy that I stuck with it!
 

I was on psych drugs for over 2/3 of my life. I can honestly and without reservation say that life OFF the drugs is a thousand times better.

 
 

I'm so glad you are doing so well. 😊😊😊

[Happy2Heal]

thanks everyone 

it's just so good to feel good, I want to shout it to the world!! lol

hey, when I don't feel good, everybody hears about it, I figure they'd be happy to hear  that I'm feeling good, right? 

at least it used to be that when I didn't feel good, I bitched and moaned a lot about it. Didn't do anything to make things better for myself, I was too busy bitching and moaning and thinking other ppl were responsible for how *I* felt. Boy I was so clueless back then!!! it's embarrassing to me now.

but now, I keep it to myself when I feel crappy, who wants to hear that??? no one, really.

however If I'm feeling good, I think it's something worth sharing and celebrating.

I find I am much more attracted to ppl who are in a good mood, upbeat and active, so if I want to be attractive to others, I should watch my own mood and attitude, eh?

and I mean attractive as a friend not a lover, lol Not interested in that at all. 

 

Oh I forgot to add to my supplement list, I started taking B12 supplements and Omega 3 supplements too.

 

Started the omega 3 just a few days ago, but the B12 I started oh, at least a month ago

 

I'll update my signature when I get a chance

 

[Rosetta]

Thank you, Happy!  I need to hear about your progress so badly.  I know I'm healing.  It's so slow.  Being unable to take charge of my life and organize my house is tough.  However, I do not have the energy.  Plus, I get confused when I think about trying.  I feel overwhelmed.  It brings on such anxiety.  This will all pass.  All I can do is accept that I can't live the way I want to right now.  I can do some things that are more comfortable, and I need to focus on those things.  It's not all bad right now the way it was last November.  It's constantly improving.  

[brassmonkey]

Excellent update H2H.  I'm so glad that things are really falling into place and you're seeing great improvements.

 

Brass

[Happy2Heal]

19 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Thank you, Happy!  I need to hear about your progress so badly.  I know I'm healing.  It's so slow.  Being unable to take charge of my life and organize my house is tough.  However, I do not have the energy.  Plus, I get confused when I think about trying.  I feel overwhelmed.  It brings on such anxiety.  This will all pass.  All I can do is accept that I can't live the way I want to right now.  I can do some things that are more comfortable, and I need to focus on those things.  It's not all bad right now the way it was last November.  It's constantly improving.  

you've got such a great attitude Rosetta,

yes I got frustrated that I couldn't do all the things I wanted to do. I couldn't think straight and it made me scared sometimes, thinking I had some form of dementia. You ARE going to be able to do all that you want to do, you're already seeing the signs of progress.

It's hard to wait so long, I know. 

Just do what you can, and the rest of the time, be easy on yourself and do things that you enjoy. Think of it like a vacation....where your only job is to take good care of yourself.

I bet that you actually owe yourself this kind of vacation, having spent years doing things mostly for others. It's not exactly the vacation you'd order up, but at least it's down time of a sort.

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

17 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Excellent update H2H.  I'm so glad that things are really falling into place and you're seeing great improvements.

 

Brass

thanks Tom,

you know, I've got it in the back of my mind, these vague fears of a 6 mos or 9 mos or 1yr "wave" that's going to knock me off my feet.... I've seen ppl mention these, so of course I'm a bit on guard about it happening to me. But I'm thinking more and more, just how individual this process is. Some things are fairly common to almost all of us, like the fact that it takes time and some of the core symptoms of anxiety, sleep issues (too much, too little) etc, but then there's all these differences in duration of symptoms and the way the waves come and go, etc.

 

I suppose at any time, a huge wave could come along and knock me down, but except for the niggling in the back of my mind, I really don't worry about it. I know if it does happen, I'll be very disappointed, lol, but I also know that I'm strong enough to get thru it.

 

I've got more happy news:  as I've mentioned but have purposely not dwelled on, my sleep has not been quite what I would like it to be. I wake up at least once thru the night, and I've not needed an alarm clock for well over a year, because it has been impossible for me to sleep past 6 am (and that's on a good day, usually I'm awake from 5 am on, but can sometimes just lay in bed for an hour and rest, with NO worries that I"m going to fall asleep)

 

well, this morning I woke up the first time at 6 am!! that was surprise number one.

then, because I'd shut the heat off and it was cold, I got under the covers while I waited for the apt to warm up a bit.

Next thing I knew,  It was 8:45 am! I fell asleep for 2 3/4 hrs!! after 6 am!

 

holy sheep, I may actually need to use an alarm clock again!

 

I am using a new white noise machine that I just love- it's got 10 different sounds you can use, and one of them sounds a lot like my fridge's compressor, so that's the one I use. 

I also started taking Omega 3 supplements... and I've cleaned up my diet (not perfect but cut way back on the sweets)

 

so, while doing these things did not seem to make much of a difference, if at all, during acute withdrawal, it's possible that they are making a difference now.

I don't know. *shrug*

but this is one gift horse I am surely not going to look in the mouth of!!!!!!

and I'll keep taking the omega 3 and keeping the sugar intake low. Even if that's not why my sleep just improved dramatically, those  are both good things to do.

 

 

yay, sleep!! 

boo, I may need to set an alarm now, hahaha

 

[Dan998]

Thank you H2H for posting about how much you have recovered. I'm so pleased that you have found the light at the end of the long dark tunnel. You are proof that it is possible for anyone can recover, no matter how long or heavily they have been medicated. It gives enormous hope to those of us still wandering about in the dark.

 

Thank you once again and please keep posting these wonderful updates. 

[apace41]

Because I'm nothing if not honest, H2H, I must say that my feelings toward your posts combine the following:

• Great joy for you because you deserve to live life without withdrawal;
• Great optimism because your story is one that, as Dan suggests, gives all of us hope that we can do the same; and
• Great jealousy because I SO want to be where you are.

Continued congratulations -- you are doing it the right way.  You can't live worried about potential waves.  You healed from where you were -- you would simply heal again.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Happy2Heal]

41 minutes ago, apace41 said:

Great jealousy because I SO want to be where you are

oh Andy,  I can't tell you how much my heart aches for you and everyone else who is not there YET.

I sometimes worry that it's almost cruel to post that I'm doing so well, knowing how much others are suffering, and then I remember how much hope it gave me to go back and read and RE read and read AGAIN the small selection of success stories we have.

I hung on every hope-filled word, it got me thru those darkest of hours.

 

so while my heart goes out to all who are still in the thick of WD/recovery,  I hope that by sharing my progress,  it will give others the strength to keep going just one more day.

Because the stories of successfully getting off these evil drugs IS what kept me going thru the worst of it.

 

I also know that I've been incredibly lucky. I have almost no outside stress in my life, no children to raise, no job, no family issues, no illness, nothing else to concern myself with- the only thing I had to do was take care of myself.

I'm sure that's a huge factor in how things have gone for me.

 

I have to believe that everyone going thru this is going to heal eventually. I would much prefer to have a magic wand and just make everyone OK right now, but since that wand is nowhere to be found, I figure the next best thing is to let ppl know, that YES there is a light at the end of that long dark tunnel.

 

 

 

[Scorpio]

Hi H2H

yes by writing you are giving us all hope while struggling ourselves. It reinforces the fact that eventually we do become the happy, lighthearted people we once were. So please keep writing. 

[apace41]

33 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

oh Andy,  I can't tell you how much my heart aches for you and everyone else who is not there YET.

 

Thanks H2H.  I speak for all when I say I know you care deeply and we appreciate that.

 

34 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

I sometimes worry that it's almost cruel to post that I'm doing so well, knowing how much others are suffering, and then I remember how much hope it gave me to go back and read and RE read and read AGAIN the small selection of success stories we have.

 

Of course you need to post.  It is good for you and good for everyone.  Of course I long to be where you are but if I don't have encouragement along the journey it would be that much harder to get there.

 

What better encouragement than the words and wisdom of those who are waiting for our arrival?

Best,

 

Andy

[SquirrellyGirl]

22 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Thank you, Happy!  I need to hear about your progress so badly.  I know I'm healing.  It's so slow.  Being unable to take charge of my life and organize my house is tough.  However, I do not have the energy.  Plus, I get confused when I think about trying.  I feel overwhelmed.  It brings on such anxiety.  This will all pass.  All I can do is accept that I can't live the way I want to right now.  I can do some things that are more comfortable, and I need to focus on those things.  It's not all bad right now the way it was last November.  It's constantly improving.  

I just wanted to add, Rosetta, that I also struggle with keeping an organized, clean house - failing miserably and have for a long time - and feel overwhelmed by tackling the chores and organizing.  I have boxes full of stuff that I can't seem to face to go through and make decisions about what to keep and what to toss.  Decision-making like that heightens stress and anxiety. I have felt this way for many years while on full levels of Effexor.  I don't think I've ever been good at being tidy, before drugs, but the stress and inability to cope ramped up especially on Effexor, to where I'd be freaking out over family coming to visit, stressing, panicking and breaking down in tears as the arrival day loomed near. I don't enjoy the house being filthy and it actually causes stress to have it that way, yet I can't seem to get myself in gear to do anything about it and have little bandwidth.  I am taking a few students (herding dog instruction) and when I am done with them I have nothing left!  So, I relate!  It has gotten slightly better as I've gotten lower on the meds, but I still can't seem to face the chores.

 

SG

[brassmonkey]

Hi H2H-- is there an overriding reason for needing to use an alarm clock? Are there obligations that need to be met? If not night I suggest trying to find your natural sleep pattern and not trying to adhere to the one that society thinks we should uphold. It makes things so much easier on the body that way. My natural cycle is 2am to 10am. It has been since I was a kid.  It made getting up to be at work by 5:30am really hard.  The best job I ever had ran from 6pm to midnight. Monica (DW) naturally sleeps from 6am to mid afternoon, and has since childhood. But it works the best for her. So unless you have to get to work or kids off to school you might give it a try.

[Happy2Heal]

On 4/9/2018 at 3:18 PM, brassmonkey said:

Hi H2H-- is there an overriding reason for needing to use an alarm clock? Are there obligations that need to be met? If not night I suggest trying to find your natural sleep pattern and not trying to adhere to the one that society thinks we should uphold. It makes things so much easier on the body that way. My natural cycle is 2am to 10am. It has been since I was a kid.  It made getting up to be at work by 5:30am really hard.  The best job I ever had ran from 6pm to midnight. Monica (DW) naturally sleeps from 6am to mid afternoon, and has since childhood. But it works the best for her. So unless you have to get to work or kids off to school you might give it a try.

hi Tom

some days I have early appointments or things I want to do that I'll miss out on if I'm not up, but no, on most days there's no need to be up at any certain time.

I would love to find out what my natural cycle is! It's been warped by drugs for over 40 yrs, so... who knows!?!
I was just a teenager when I got started on psych meds. Before that, I lived under extremely stressful conditions and understandably my sleep was affected by that.

 

it will be an adventure finding out what my body wants and needs for rest, once I get over the post traumatic stress-like reactions and anxieties over sleep from the past couple of years of WD/recovery.

My sleep has not been as good since that one really good night and I am sure that at least part of the reason is anxiety about it.  I think I'm going to need a good long stretch of really good nights before I can stop thinking about whether or not I'll have a good night!!

 

but it's definitely going in the right direction.

 

[Happy2Heal]

3 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

I am so happy to hear of your improvements and the positivity in your post! It gives me such hope. I have had a lovely window and have been hesitant to visit here for fear of jinxing it 🤪❤️🙏

so happy for YOU, a good window, that's great!
I totally understand about not wanting to jinx anything. lol

I feel the same way when things are going well.

sometimes I wait a bit and then post.

 

[Happy2Heal]

OK it seems that the inflammation and pain that is associated with eating a lot of sugar can happen a few days or even a week after ingesting the stuff...

or perhaps the pain I"m experiencing now is from detoxing off my dietary indiscretions, I don't know

 

but I am doubling down on cleaning up my diet, eliminating all simple carbs (oh dear, no toast, I will miss that) and sticking to a whole foods plant based and now SOS free diet (salt, oil and sugar free)

 

it's going to be tough going at first but I want to document how I feel doing this.

I want to be on a super clean diet for at least 3 weeks and then maybe add back a tiny bit of the not so good stuff and really see what happens.

 

yeh I've got a lot of joint pain the past few days. Moving more helps some but as soon I stop moving, I stiffen up like a rusted tin man who needs their joints oiled

 

Not fun. I am glad I've got lots of interesting things to do to distract me from the pain.

It's not horrible pain, just annoying. I like feeling GOOD lol

I'm spoiled like that

hahaha

 

hope everyone is doing well

<3