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Happy2Heal

☼ Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right

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Happy2Heal
14 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Yes, I do think it's WD.  I think it's the brain getting it "wrong" while it's trying to get back to normal.  I have so many thoughts, emotions, and feelings that are not familiar to me.  Or, there are some that I have and I remember them from the past while I was struggling through life on the meds.  How much of my inability to figure out life was because my brain never had stability?!  

 

I often think that I don't like myself, and then I wonder "why?"  I really don't like it that I can't handle stress or I meltdown or I get irritable, of course.  But not liking myself as a whole?  Why?  That's ridiculous.  I think I'm a good person.  I think it's a form of anhedonia

 

I really hope this is a WD symptom. I guess maybe I am a little depressed........? whatever that means. I find myself on the verge of crying a lot and I don't know why.

 

maybe my feeling of disliking myself is just an extension of my overall feeling of being uncomfortable and irritable. I sure hope so.

I know from reading thru my thread that just very very recently, I felt good, hell I felt great but now that seems like it wasn't real, you know? 
I was finally able to cobble together a few good hours of sleep, so I'm not as tired at least.

I hope this wave ends soon.

 

I thought I was finally in a place where I could make commitments and follow thru. I have a few people counting on me to do certain things and I just not able to do them now.

so frustrating!!

I can't even tell them when I'll be able to get this work done. Who is going to understand this? I will have to come up with some plausible 'excuse' since the real reason would be too hard for anyone to believe or understand.

 

thanks for sharing your experiences Rosetta.

 

I know things will get better, all that healing that I've already done, it can't be undone, right?

😕
 

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Rosetta

Right.  It can't be undone.  I'm so sorry you feel you can't follow through.  That is so upsetting.  

 

The feeling you are about to cry is very normal.  I have had that a lot. It feels like frustration.  Frustration happens when the brain is learning something.  Your brain is changing and that's a similar process to learning.  I know this disrupts your life, but it will be a good thing in the end.

 

You did have an amazing window!  You felt great.  I wish you could remember it.  I'm so glad you posted about it here.  It was real.  

 

You just have to tell people you are sick.  No need to explain further.  If you are very firm and clear about it they will accept it.  You can say "I've been having some health problems lately."  If they press you, be a broken record.

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FarmGirlWorks
On 8/12/2018 at 7:29 AM, manymoretodays said:

On the costume, what came to mind first was creating a big capsule that you could be.........and then somehow sharing the message "to stop over medicating America".  Maybe a pill form would work better and then with some lettering across the front and back.........like a circular sandwich board?  Of course, it depends on the benefit that is sponsoring it.......yet, maybe not.........surely it would generate opportunities for teaching and sharing your experiences........it could make a difference for someone.

Great minds (even if they were jumbled by drugs) think alike: I was thinking a giant capsule with fake blood smeared on it but @manymoretodays idea is probably kinder 🙂 Clearly, I'm still angry at Pfizer.

 

"maybe my feeling of disliking myself is just an extension of my overall feeling of being uncomfortable and irritable. I sure hope so. "

I think that is def a WD symptom. I had a brief window a few weeks ago and the self-loathing magically disappeared. Hang in there... it is so hard but know (even if you can't remember the feeling) that you were in a good place recently. It will come back.

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