☼ Wellness: Healing nicely

[MNgal1960]

Wow, Wellness, that is wonderful! Thank you for posting. It gives me hope.

[LexAnger]

You are a true worrier and aspiration, wellness! I'm so happy for you!

Thanks for updating and giving courage and hope to all!

[Altostrata]

Thank you for coming by, Wellness. May you feel better and better!

[tntd]

It's so good to hear from you Wellness. I'm so happy that things continue to improve for you. I do think of you often and hope that you are out there having fun.

 

Hugs

[Quest]

On 2017-03-06 at 6:55 AM, Wellness said:

Hi everyone,

 

thanks for dropping by my page.

 

I continue healing and getting better.  I am now working on reading and comprehension.  Since the last two months, there seems to have been some sort of breakthrough where I can read quite quickly and understand much better, still not perfect, but it's a huge improvement.

 

Fatigue is till a major problem, and brain fog, but otherwise many many symptoms have gone and the remaining ones are getting better.  I'm confident that I will continue to improve.

 

Bye for now.

Wellness, I am wondering if you could give me some advice on immovane.  I have been on this for 11 years.  3.75.  I was off it for  a five month period this year.  If you read over my thread could you please give me hope that I can eventually beat this.  I have been advised to take the 3.75 everyday same time. I know from bubble that because it doesn't help me sleep anymore at all that I am holding off withdrawl.  This only holds it off for about a two hr. window and then the horrible anxiety is exacberated by my effexor wd, and reinstatement.  I need hope that I can stop this one day.  should I switch to a liquid form at this time ?  It is affecting my depression as well, makes it worse.  Would splitting my dose through the night help me in the day with withdrawls?  So very desperate for hope.  Your time is appreciated~

[Quest]

On 2016-04-28 at 10:25 AM, Wellness said:

Here is my story.  It is a long post.  If you are sensitive and likely to get scared, do yourself a favor and don't read it.  

 

The Coles notes version is that I'm healing nicely.  

 

 Update  April 28, 2016        

 

In August 2010, after several months of disrupted sleep (my cat), I started taking zopiclone to help me sleep.  Three weeks later, I started having anxiety and a panic attack from what I now believe to have been a side effect of the medication (inter-dose withdrawal), and I still had disrupted sleep.

Since I never had rolling panic attacks and anxiety before, I went to the ER, on September 16, 2010.  They kept me two days, and discontinued the zopiclone and added chloral hydrate, olanzapine, and lorazepam - all taken at night for sleep.  I was told that the sleep disturbance was the underlying cause of the anxiety and panic attacks.

The symptoms of panic, anxiety, and disrupted sleep continued in the ensuing two weeks, and I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital on October 1, 2010 for six days.  They added Seroquel, Epival, Nosinan, then removed olanzapine, chloral hydrate, and Nozinan, but kept lorazepam, all for sleep.

The daily rolling panic attacks and anxiety continued to intensify over the following three months.  By then I could barely swallow, could only drink liquids foods, had lost a significant amount of weight, I could not speak anymore, only whisper because my vocal cords seized up.  My sight was affected and things looked very dark.  I lost all sensations in my body, had no sensation of hunger or thirst, did not feel the need to pee, I no longer felt pain, I could not feel my limbs nor distinguish between hot from cold water on my skin, I didn’t have any sensation in my stomach, gut, or bladder, and was never sleepy but I was exhausted, and I stopped menstruating.  My duration of my short term memory was less than a second and my other cognitive functions were severely damaged; I was no longer able to care for myself.  I spent the majority of my days in a state of extreme fear and terror, and had rolling panics and experienced brain zaps in the evening after taking the medication.  I returned to the hospital and was prescribed an antidepressant to take in addition to all other drugs. 

By mid-December 2010, I suspected that the benzodiazepine was causing my symptoms because I could see a recurring pattern of panic and anxiety, intensifying throughout the day, and lorazepam, and before that zopiclone were the only constants in my medication.  By then I knew that I was dependant to lorazepam because once when I tried to lower the nightly prn dose of lorazepan, I went in withdrawal (violent shaking, etc.).  Although I was in an extreme state of nervous shock, I managed to find the Ashton manual online.  In consultation with my treating physician, who told me she did not have knowledge of benzodiazepine discontinuation methods and refused my diazepam crossover, I started tapering the lorazepam in early January 2011, (and the other medications shortly thereafter). Over the span of three weeks I tapered the lorazepam not realizing that it was an over rapid reduction.  On January 20, 2011, I took my last dose of lorazepam, and experienced acute withdrawal.  Over the next several months, I felt intense withdrawal symptoms in addition to the symptoms already mentioned.  Over the following year, I slept minutes at a time when I slept at all.  The fatigue was more intense than any fatigue I had ever felt before this time, I had a splitting headache and gut wrenching nausea that lasted the better part of two years.  My resting heart rate was approximately 160 beats per minute for months.   It has taken three years for my heart rate to decrease to 80 beats per minutes, it was 60 before I took the drugs.

 

I have had no support from the medical community, who shunned me as soon as it became increasing obvious that the prescribed drugs were causing the illness and that medical mistakes had been done.  My right to personal privacy was violated and some of the documents in my files were altered after the fact (I have a copy of the originals documents before they were altered).  My request for file corrections went unanswered.  I was diagnosed with new psychiatric labels on several occasions and condescending remarks were written in my medical files when I refused more medication. 

It has been five and a half years since my last dose of lorazepam.  My typical dose was 1 mg/day and I took it for about four to five months. I take no other drugs of any kind and no supplements.

I have seen a gradual and systematic decrease in all symptoms. 

I have almost completely regained my sense of hunger, thirst, satiety, or needing to pee.  I still have some disrupted sleep, insomnia, fatigue, poor temperature regulation, mental tension, impaired short term memory and ability to concentrate for long periods of time, I sometimes have difficulty putting my thoughts together, difficulty learning new information, poor sense of time perception, some brain-fog, low resistance to stress.  The shaking is almost all gone except for some times I wake up during the night still shaking.  I have a traumatic stress injury. I still have some myoclonic jerks when I’m trying to fall asleep but they have gone from 60 or so a day, to 2-3 a day.  The tinnitus that I thought would never go away is gone completely some days.  I still have some sensitivity to light and sound.

 

I have almost no derealisation, depression, extreme anxiety, irritability, mood lability left.  The nerve zaps, shudders and the feeling that my nerves were buzzing is also gone too. I had a high startle response and that has decreased substantially. 

 

The headaches and nausea lifted at around the two year mark.

 

My resting heat rate is now near normal at 60-70 beats per minutes after years of elevated heart rate from 160 beats per minutes.   I still have some periods of restlessness but at times I am completely relaxed.

 

I still have chronic pain all day that restricts my activities.  

 

Other than some of the pain, I did not have these symptoms before taking benzodiazepines.

 

Physically, what I can best describe as my sensations to pain, started returning a few months after the drug discontinuation, after almost 8 months little or no sensation in my body.  I may have overuse injuries in my joints from not having had feedback to pain. First, my entire backbone from neck down to lower back felt like I had a sharp electric current running through it for several hours a day (pail level 10). I also had shooting sciatic pain in both legs.). In my upper body, I had nerve pain running from the shoulders blades and shoulders down to my hands on both sides.  I could not use my arms or hands very much. I had and continue to have painful nerve twitch in my neck and muscle spasms in and around the neck and upper back.  I was bedridden most of the day for several months from the returning sensation of pain and from mental exhaustion. I worked  with a physical therapist to devise  a plan to keep me from wasting any more by going to a therapy pool and doing stretching and strengthening exercises, “pushing through the pain” to gain some muscle tone back.  Walking, sitting, or using my hands was still painful. My arms and hands regularly went numb.

 

I had considerable pain in my feet, knees, and hips.  When the sensation of pain returned these hurt the point where, for almost 3 weeks, I had difficulty walking even a few steps.  My feet now tingle (burn?), and I have sensations of heat and cold at the same time, in both feet, all day most days.  My knee and hip still hurt from what is probably an inflammation reaction at the joint capsules.

 

At about the same time as the pain returned, my skin started itching from my neck down to my entire front torso at first, then a few months later the itching sensation had spread to most of my body, along with tingling.  I no longer have the itching sensation; it lasted for about six months.

 

 I have seen very gradual but significant reduction in the following symptoms since drug discontinuation:

 

-      Panics and terror are all but gone.

-      All rebound anxieties are decreasing, but still very high, I feel like I’m in a “fight or flight” mode.

-      Metallic taste in my mouth seems to be gone.

-      Adrenaline rushes and heart palpitations have stopped.

-      Resting heart is normal down from about  160 + beats per minutes for months.

-      Brain zaps stopped immediately after lorazepam discontinuation.

-      Akathesia is gone.

-      I eyes can focus my eyes and I no longer shake and have nystagmus but I still have sensitivity to lights.

-      I can swallow well, I have regained the ability to sense food textures, and have regained taste.

-      Shaking has decreased at all levels but I still shake occasionally during the night.  My manual dexterity is still compromised and I drop things easily.  Myoclonic jerks are less frequent and less severe - they have gone from approximately 60 a day to approximately 2-3 a day.

-      Sleep is improving but I still sleep in increments of one to two hours at a time.  My sleep is fitful.  I typically sleep 4-6 hours broken up in waves and windows fashion.

-      My voice has returned to normal.

-      Tightness in my chest is gone, breathing is no longer shallow and rapid.

-      Acid reflux has left and so has nausea.

-      The headaches left at around the two year mark.

-      Teeth clenching is gone, but now my jaws sometimes lock.

-      Burning nerve pain has decreased in intensity in my back but still present at times. This has mostly been replaced with nerve pain at several locations along the backbone.

-      Short term memory, concentration,  and all cognitive stills have improved.

-      I am more functional at all levels.

 

Psychological symptoms

 

I have a traumatic stress injury.

I do not have the emotional reserve to stressors and still do not use the phone.

 

Functionality

 

Slowly improving at all levels.

What an incredible story!  I wish you such luck on your healing.